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ITT: we describe our job as shitty as possible Others have to
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ITT: we describe our job as shitty as possible

Others have to guess.

Trips changes thread subject.
>>
i wake up every fucking morning to sit on a uncomfortable chair for hours
>>
>>694450319
delivery driver
>>
>>694450021
>put dead sea animals in bag
>weigh
>print
>wrap
>hand to person asking
>>
>>694450571
easy, seafood department at a grocer store
>>
>>694450021

I babysit adults who temporarily forget basic survival functionality for like an hour.
>>
>>694450319
student?
bus/taxi/other public transport driver?
chair tester?
office worker?
programmer?

>>694450571
this>>694450719
>>
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Pic extremely fucking related.
>>
>>694452027
you are a ninja turtle?
wow. just wow.
does your employer pay for all the pizza?
>>
>>694452232
Not exactly. But my employer does provide pizza and "health care".
>And hearing loss
>And chronic knee and back pain
>>
>>694452541
such is the life of a superhero
>>
>>694453643
Pls kill me
>>
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>motion car to pull up
>point to sign that says neutral
>they put car in reverse and almost back into car behind them
>they look at me like I'm retarded
>I have them pull up again
>tell them to put car in neutral again
>yelling shit at me
>can't hear shit cuz I'm in a wind tunnel with earplugs
>hopping rollers
>have to manually put their car in neutral
>mfw
>rinse and repeat 1000 more times a day
>>
>>694455121
you are this guy who motions those sticks at airplanes
>>
>>694455121
Car wash
>>
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>>694450021
>spend time meticulously preparing a pizza from the dough up
>instead of cooking it, put it in plastic
>let the pizza sit for a half hour on a rack
>wait for some dumb motherfucker to take it home and cook it themself
>eat the cheese that fell off
>>
>>694456890
papa murphy's employee
>>
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>>694455493
Nope
>be doing my shit
>look outside
>no more towels
>fuckchrist.bmp
>go to back room to get more towels
>dindu comes up to me
>wtf this dude u can't be back here
>"ay yo can I git a smell good?"
>fucking fine here
>"can I get 2 more?"
>dude no go away
>"can I git a towel?"
>sure fine whatever
>grab load towels
>put outside
>15 min later all gone
>see dindu walking off with a huge stack of towels
>mfw
>>
Walk around hospital looking for people that look like they are about to die then take their eyes and all the organs that may be still useful for trasplant
>>
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I kill dogs
>>
>>694457197
kek
now I don't even have a clue where the hell you work, but give me another hint, this is becoming good
>>
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>>694457614
car wash
>>
>tie stuff together
>things start moving or doing other things
>>
>>694457491
Dr. Frankenstein
>>
>>694450021
work with food
rarely cook it
talk to people
also work with amusement park junk
>>
>>694457579
>doesn't have a job
>>
>>694457791
>tie stuff together
like by stuff you mean employees?
and by tie you mean an actual piece of clothing?
so you basically connect your co-workers with ties?
>>
>type words into a keyboard
>they appear on the screen in different colours.
>>
Certified oxygen jockey
>>
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>>694457904
+1
>>
> be in office
> nobody is working
> facebook youtube and shit
> get really angry
> drink beer
>>
Wear a coat all the fucking time. Wearing glasses 80% of the time.
Rest of the time typing shit.
Job could easily be my demise.
Nobody willing to put up cameras although junkys keep stealing our devices to stire their math (literally happens every month and nobody gives a shit, because a fucking fence around something that could be a village is safe enough).
Shit involves too much teamwork for most.
>>
>tinker with shit
>repair said shit
>deal with people not knowing shit about their shit
>sit and lurk 4chan while doing shit
>>
>>694456554
>>694457736
Yeah
>>
I take care of drunk children
>>
>>694458579
a scientist
>>
>>694457197
>gym attendant?
>>694457579
>chinese food cook?
>>694458127
programmer or graphic designer
>>
I have little fuckers who couldnt keep their filthy hands off of substances, and other little fuckers who have a fucked up social skills and mental disorders complain to me all day
>>
I go to work late at night with a bunch of niggers and i move things off a belt into various numbered stacks
>>
>>694458685
mechanic?
>>
>>694458579
Military personnel?
>>
>>694458579
pharmacist in a shitty place
>>
>>694458895
rehab/mental health worker
>>
>>694459063
I made that easy as fuck after reading the rest of these
>>
>>694458920
close, not quite
>technology
>>
Pirated software

Craigslist

Mostly Windows 7 / 10 and Office 2016

Sometimes AutoCAD, Photoshop, Windows Server

Usually good for 30$ here and there but have to meet in public day time and change phone numbers every few months due to freaks
>>
>>694450319
waste of oxygen.
>>
>>694444444
>>
>>694459160
electrician?
>>
>>694458107
Wrong direction here's a hint you can replace tie with twist and it still works
>>
I work with niggers in a large, old, dusty place and make work with what the nigger's ancestors used to pick in the fields
>>
>>694450021
I convince people to pay to let other people touch them
>>
>>694458710
Stay-at-home mom?
>>
>>694457579
ATF?
>>
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>>694450021
>be me
>work in cold area
>lots of cold steel in my hands all day
>surrounded by the sweet stench of death all day
>>
>>694459351
not sure how else I could help while not divulging the job so fuck it

computer/phone/whatever technician
>>
>>694450021
i take your money and say i will give you back more money but sometimes i don't and that's ok.
>>
>>694459483
pimp

seriously though probably something in medical advising
>>
I shoot black people sometimes
>>
>>694458909
factory worker
>>
>deal with 18yr old girls who constantly want the same, recycled design because it somehow "fits their personality" and is "meaningfull"
>college kids come in and explain something really shitty/impossible and get upset when I tell them I won't do it because they'll regret it later down the road
>Warn people not to get their partners name on them, but they do it anyway and literally come back to my same place of work to get it covered up
>>
>>694459737
heavy hydraulics steel worker
car making?
random steel shit on demand?
>>
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>sell stoners drug paraphernalia and dildos
>shoot heroin in the back with coworkers when no customers around
>>
>>694459466
Textile mill?

>Do the same 12 projects every few months
>Technically government employee
>Fucking flies
>>
>>694459934
tattoo artist
>>
>Travels hours to start job
>Put intricate suite on with lots of items hanging off it
>Stands motionless for 30mins - 1 hour
>Carry dead body to hole with others fellow workers
>Fold up a piece of cloth into a triangle over body
> Fellow workers shoot rifle into the sky
>Give piece of triangle cloth to crying person
>Go travel home.
>>
>>694459884
this isn't a job,it's just being a good human being.
This is like posting "i breathe air and drink water"
>>
>>694459934
tatttttoooo fgt
>>
>>694459939
No
No
No

Literally can't say anything more without giving it away, don't think too hard
>>
>>694459956
head/sex shop worker
>>
>>694459934
Tattoo cunt?
>>
>>694459959
Yep
>>
>>694459956
Politician?
>>
>>694459737
fucking butcher my nigga
>>
>>694459884
so are you a professional nigger?
>>
>>694459923
somewhat close but i work in an amazon warehouse.
>>
>>694459737
Butcher or at least in a grocery store's meat department?
>>
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>>694460208
Yes
>>
>>694460076
Honor guard
>>
>>694460339
Got it
>>
> I lock up children
> Make them scream
> "See ya next weekend!"
>>
>>694457579
Vet?
>>
>>694460110
butcher
>>
>>694457197
carwash
>>
>>694457579
Fag
>>
>>694450021
>drive
>>
>>694460076
Disneyland character actress
>>
>>694457197
bathroom attendant
>>
I play candy crush all day but I don't have a smartphone.

I don't think anyone will get this.
>>
>>694459483
You're that little chinese fucker in my mall that keeps asking me about foot massages. fuck you
>>
>>694451166
Waiter
>>
>>694451166
Trip sitter
>>
>>694460761
bingo
>>
>>694450021
I put objects into piles, they then go into trucks, then to another guy, and then it arrives
>>
>>694450021
>be me
>wake up at 3pm every day with a hangover
>at work deal with foreign ignorant cunts and annoyed teenagers
>get covered in sticky smelly gunk all day
>long hours with physical work never get to sit down
>there every fucking weekend
>spend at least an hour a night carrying heavy crates
>>
>>694460438
you sell tickets to rollercoaster
>>
>>694460222
heard it sucks working in their warehouses, also chek'd
>>
>>694460438
Catholic priest
>>
>>694460050
>>694460101
>>694460126

Wasn't too hard to guess, but yep. 18yr old girl came in the shop about an hour ago asking if I would tattoo an infinity sign on her finger because it "relates" to her "struggle"
>>
Wake up at ass crack of dawn to get yelled at
>>
I pour over priced shit into shit and people give me money for no reason
>>
>>694461111
oh shit quads
>>
>>694460975
Nah. Close enough though. I operate it
>>
>>694450319
NEET
>>
>>694460438
You work at a theme park
>>
>>694461111
the justification is shite but the tattoo itself doesn't sound too bad. depends on how people interpret that faggotry
>>
>>694461161
bartender
>>
>>694450319
security
>>
>>694461161
Bartender
Are you allowed to drink while you work? I've always wondered
>>
>>694461111
well, just do it then. print it on their fucking foreheads. this way they will forever be signed as no-go and easier to keep out of reproduction process.
Also, checked
>>
>>694450021
i stack cans in a row and collect money
>>
> wake up at 23:30
> Expensive Coffee or Russian black caravan tea
> wait to get night vision which was lost after walking to work in the light
> stumble into workplace - too dark, no lights
> check 3 GPS inputs, cameras, speed, location, instant messenger etc etc
> readytogo.jpg
> put on binoculars
> look out window
> do nothing except drink tea occasionally (can't leave to pee)
> laugh at Philippino monkeys
>>
>>694457579
banana? XD
>>
>>694461548
You stock vending machines
>>
>>694459041
Biological lab assistant for an actually huge employee, not that bad and payed properly
>>
>>694461548
vending machine servicer
>>
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>>694457579
>>
>>694461634
>I have to go to cocktail parties (free bar) at least once a month. Lots of other free events too.

>I got paid £32,000 or $42,000.

>I quit.
>>
>always deal with angry people
>paid parking
>>
>>694461331
If there is a group of 10 girls, chances are at least 3 of them have somewhat of an infinity symbol tattood somewhere on their body. It's a quick one to knock out, but it's so recycled it's not even funny anymore.

>>694461449
No kidding, I've had a 19yr old girl ask me to tattoo an upside down cross in the middle of her forehead. I avoid stupid shit like that because I don't want people in the area to think I don't have "standards" when it comes to tattooing. If someones idea is shit, I tell them about it. I wish I had a penny for everytime someone under 21 who has no tattoos comes in and asks me about a full sleeve including his hand and tries to justify it by saying "My job won't care though". No shit they won't, you work at a fucking gas station. I don't like setting stupid kids up for failure.
>>
help criminals
>>
>>694450021
I take the records from clients and turn them into gold
then I get a phone call in the middle of the year and I am expected to remember intricate details from my client's shitty records.
Oh, and they bitch at me about my bill
>>
>>694461441
My boss is a depressing faggot that doesn't care about anything so where I work you can take a shot if no one's paying attention to you. All depends on where you work and who you're working for.
>>
>>694451166
Nurse or PCA
>>
>>694461958
Event Security.
>>
>>694459160
Tech support
>>
>>694458685
IT
>Make shitty online shit
>Clients want some different shit on the last day before we have to deliver shit
>We never deliver shit
>>
>>694461111
I came home from work one day, two years ago, and my (now ex) girlfriend had had a star tattoed on her hand. The fleshy part at the base of her thumb, between the first finger.

It looked fucking stupid. But I didn't see the point of saying anything other than "it looks great" cos it's there for ever.
>>
Moist, stinky, and cold. Im either in the undertaker or seafood business
>>
>>694452027
>Picisunrelated.com
Kek
But a security guard for some convention center?
>>
>>694462047
cpa, tax guy
>>
>walk around a warehouse a few times
>literally nothing else
>>
>>694462342
yep
>>
>>694461984
hell, man.
what was the best (best by concept) tatoo you ever made?
>>
>>694460076
Arlington honour guard? Must be fucking boring. Did you choose that job?
>>
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>>694461958
Traffic warden!
>>
>>694451166
Streaper
>>
>>694457579
STOP
>>
>>694461111
I would not be able to deal with that
>>
Those of you who work... work so hard. For nothing.

Remember this. 1% of the nation controls 99.998% of the nation's wealth. You will never be able to afford a nice home. You are a peasant.

Capitalism has failed.
>>
>get told to have something done
>get group of people together
>"supervise" work getting done
>>
>>694451166
Mods for /mlp/
>>
>>694462374

Security?
>>
>>694459769
Insurance Agent
>>
>>694450021
>make people drunk
>get even more drunk
>cash
>>
>>694460913
Nightshift at a fast food place?
>>
>>694463107
Nope
>>
>>694459769

broker?
>>
>>694462896
Yep. Honestly it's probably the best way to describe my job too
>>
I get up at 6 am
To sit an a hot car on the way to work for an hour get out and clean up around a house I then set things up I then do lots of maths and use sunscreen my hands get tired and my eyes get tired and I fucking hate my life!
>>
>>694459956
Libertarian?
>>
>>694461634
Air traffic controller?
>>
>>694462785
>1% of the nation controls 99.998% of the nation's wealth
Capitalism hasn't failed. It's worked out exactly as planned.
>>
>>694462806
Mas'er?
>>
>>694463224
Construction ?
>>
>>694463224
English teacher?
>>
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Take shit from one place and put it somewhere else
>>
>>694464054
Are you a crane?
>>
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>>694462759
It gets old quickly.

>>694462445
This is one of my favorites. Did this on my friend from high school and he sat like a champ
>>
>>694464122
Holy fuck!
>>
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>>694464122
For those that don't know what this is, it's from the movie Alien. Although I enjoyed Alien Vs Predator more.

>photo ref

>>694464378
It looks pretty sweet when his leg is straight as well. All in all, one of my favorite pieces I've done.
>>
I sell drugs and crackpipes legally
>>
>>694457579
kl
>>
>>694450021
>drive here
>drive there
>give me money you fucking nigger
>sit in chair and listen to music
make ok money for a 20 something
Thread replies: 164
Thread images: 16

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