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I'm just gonna keep posting this built up autism, idgaf

>Be me, 4
>Run around the school with my dick hanging out
>Think I am the most hilarious creature to ever roam these halls
>Teachers pissed
>I get slapped in the face by the principal
>Parents called
>Serious questions thrown at me
>mfw they thought an older student made me do it.
>mfw when my 4 year old pecker convinced the teacher there was a paedophile in the school
>mfw none of my classmates have ever referenced this to me since.

>Be me, 9
>Seriously depressed, to this day I have no idea why
>One day start crying late at night
>Parents ask me whats wrong, I legit have no idea myself.
>They keep asking
>MakingAMurderer.mp4
>Have to make something up
>Tell them my best friend is bullying me.
>Make up a load of shit about him hitting me
>He gets moved to a different school
>Never see him again

Nowadays I just cry silently. Is anybody even reading these?

>>694426827
>he stole my future
>i never asked for this

you called her a slut when she could have liked you, you definitely asked for that

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>Aged 10
>doing a relay race at school
>4 teams, each with a baton
>I'm on a good team for once.
>A few sporty people run beofre me, our lead is unbelievable.
>Not even I can fuck this one up
>Halfway around my lap, running reasonably fast.
>Look at the baton in my hand.
>wonder is it see through
>Hold it to my eye like a telescope
>Hmm. Not see through.
>The race is over.
>I fucking blew it.
>Expect to be beaten up, or shunned.
> mfw nobody's even fucking surprised.

>>694427530
I'm listening

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>Be on school tour
>Have disposable camera
>Taking pictures of everything
>Take picture of friends with bathroom in the background
>Loud milf teacher "NO PICTURES OF THE BATHROOM ANON"
>Everyone knows me as that kid for the rest of the year
>The kid who tried to take pictures in the bathroom

>>694426827
Well at least this is a good thread starter, this is way up on the autism scale... Why the fuck went through your mind that made you think this was even remotely a good idea?

>>694427969
wut?

>be me, senior year high school
>go to locker to get things for next class
>see 9/10 friend friends
>she's relatively chatty
>stand awkwardly as i wait for her to get things out of her locker
>"uhm you can go through if you want"
>locker situation was more autistic than i am fairly close together
>decide it's better to wait
>"i'll wait"
>she looks at me
>eye contact
>oh shit look away
>it'd be quicker for both of us
>she points to locker and smiles
>stare at her for five seconds dumfounded
>"uhm anon"
>... ... ... "that's true"
>awkward silence
>never talks to me again for the rest of the year

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>Be 10 years old
>New craze in school
>Not pokemon, or pogz or some shit, I took that in my stride.
>Dead Legs
>Dead legs were when you kicked someone in just the right spot, so that their leg felt dead.
>Pretty stupid, but annoying too.
>I couldn't do it for shit, but my friend was the fucking master
>One day, I see him walking in front of me
>Decide its my chance
>I allow him to walk in front of me
>There is now considerable distance between us
>Bear in mind, I had no idea how to administer a dead leg. Still don't
> I begin running at him. Sloly at first, then quickly.
>I approach speeds I have not reached since
>Jump as I come close to him
>Extend my leg, and my heel connects right at the back of the knee.
>He falls to the ground crying
>Shout "Who's the master now??"
>Stand over him, flexing my muscles until the teachers come.
He never spoke to me since

>>694428798
friend of friends*** sorry

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>>694428733
I must clarify. I stopped running. For whatever reason, I didn't judge myself capable of running and looking at a baton at the same time. In the time that elapsed as I looked down the baton, the race was over. Go me.

>>694428415
I was trying to be wolverine. He was always slightly pissed and he got all the chicks. I thought it would translate to real life.

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>age 7
>playing outside
>mom tells me that if I come into the house again I wont be allowed to go back outside
>have to shit
> go behind tree
>Shit in front of screen door
>Mom see's and starts screaming
>gets mad at me for not coming in to use the bathroom

Dumb Bitch

>>694429308
Fuck me, that always annoyed me. Jfc make your rules clear mom.

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>>694426827
Good start Anon.

>>694429484
I can't tell is that scarastic or not. The autism is real here.

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>>694428836
Lost

>>694429820
Lost what. This isn't YLYL nigger.

>>694429820
I remember saying lost in every thread I went into the first day I started coming to 4cancerchan

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>>694426827
How sad.

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Not exactly autistic but I'll share with you anyway.

>be me about 9
>good friend at the time was having his birthday party
>staying over at his place
>fast forward to the night
>we're all just doing kids shit, telling kids jokes etc

Additional information, when I was a kid, I used to find it hard to control my bladder, especially when laughing hysterically.

>friend had a younger brother like 6 years old
>he comes into the room and hangs out with us
>whatever
>night progresses all laughing a lot, playing some vidya
>one of the kids there tells (in my opinion at the time) the funniest joke ever known to mankind
>ohshit.jpeg
>I can feel it
>as my sides begin to leave orbit
>urine begins to leave my bladder
>no one knows yet
>everyone leaves for a bit
>i stay behind and change my pants
>mission complete
>leave the room
>soon after everyone comes back
>i make sure to sit somewhere else, piss still on the carpet and blankets where I was
>the little 6 year old sits where I was sitting
>all according to plan
>not long after one of the kids notice the smell
>everyone blames the kid
>even me
>he starts crying, denying that he pissed himself
>the dad comes in
>pulls the kid from the room, screaming at him in the hall
>crying intensifies
>gets sent to his room, crying like no boy I have ever heard since

>mfw no one suspected it was me
>mfw my friend told me at school that the younger brother got grounded for weeks because of it

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>>694429308

Bumping for more autism

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>>694427154

Let's keep this thread going.

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>>694429308
>age 6
>neighbor is friends with my older bro
>he comes into our house to play vidya
>brings that new crash bandicoot game with him
>tells me and my bro that he wants to show me something in my closet
>i tell him no
>brother says do it or he'll leave
>go in closet so my bro can keep playing Crash
long story short
>i end up kissing this faggot and sucking his dick so my brother can defeat Doctor neo cortex

>be me, 16
>at a local house party, all my friends are there
>girl i was really into is there as well
>everytime we spoke we flirted like crazy, although i didn't realize it at the time
>party goes on for some time
>i'm pretty buzzed at this point
>lock eyes with said girl from across the room
>she walks over to me, grabs my hand and takes me out on the dancefloor
>we dance for maybe 20 min until a slow song comes on
>i pull her close
>we look in eachothers eyes for maybe 10 minutes
at this point she was practically begging me to kiss her
>get a text all of a sudden from my mom asking when i'm coming home
>i look at the girl, kiss her and tell her I have to go
>she's asking me not to leave etc
>i'm just telling her, "I really gotta go"
>leave the party
>remember feeling proud as shit cuz i got a kiss while walking home

worst part is I don't even remember why I left, I had no reason to kek

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>>694432260

>>694432397
that went on for several months with different games until faggot boy moved away

>4 years old
>Visiting my grandparents
>Taking a bath there for whatever reason
>Suddenly has to shit badly
>I thought about getting up to go to the toilet, but then I'd get water everywhere
>So I shit in the bathtub instead
>Wonders why my Grandma is mad

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>>694432328
You fucking idiot.

>>694432618
Did you ever tell your bro?

>>694432639
Chuckled

>>694432903
no didnt see a reason to plus we were both pretty homophobic back then

oh the irony

>>694432855
funny thing is, i woke up the next morning immediately realizing how much i fucked up. i fucked her 3 weeks later at an afterparty though, so shit sorted itself out.

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>me 8yo
>over at mates place
>his 6yo old sister enters bathroom while im pissing
>stand up naked and tell her that I wanna her right now
>runs away crying
>mother throws me out

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>>694433176
>mother throws me out
like the dog you are

>>694433073
Good ending to a funny story. Nice one, Anon.

>>694433045
Ahahaha. Fair enough.

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>>694426827
He didn't steal your future, you shit the bed and sealed your own fate.

>>694433176
you used to piss sitting down?

sorry to hear that.

>>694433501
Yeah because no man ever piss sitting down, especially at 8yo

>>694433501
i almost always have to piss sitting down since i'm so fucking tall that it's really fucking hard to aim properly.

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>>694433639
i bet you like boipucci too

>>694433639
I bet you kiss proustites

>>694433639
i never sat when pissing

>>694426827
"He stole my future"
No OP, you fucked it up and lost it. Stop blaming others for your stupidity.

>>694431251
This was pretty DEVILISH my man.

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>>694433639
single mom huh.

My turn
>Be 16 years old
>Have to go to this 8/10 chick I've been talking to's 16th party
>Normal stuff
>about 2 hours in she asks me to dance
>Slow music was playing.
>I was sitting at the table with my friend, who isn't very social
>I was just taking a break from dancing and was eating
>I turn her offer down thinking I still have to eat, and I won't abandon my friend
>She has a puzzled look on her face.
>She comes back 5 Mina later, and asks again.
>I turn Her down for a 2nd time
However, after about 30 mins, I realized my mistake, and asked her to dance, we dated for after that, so it wasn't a perminant autistic moment.

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>>694433501
femnazi mother

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>be me 12
>family cat just died
>sister and mum are very upset
>feelsbad I loved him
>we're going to bury him in the garden
>about to put him in the ground
>sister and mum both crying
>i say "at least I'm still alive"
>no idea why
>sister goes up to her room
>didn't speak to me for a week

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>>694433810
>>694433690
>>694433639
pissing is for faggots real men shit

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>>694434241
zozzle

>>694434322
What if I can do both?
Am I a man-faggot?

>>694433981
At the time, I thought I was slick as a fuck for thinking on my feet like that but to be honest, doesn't take a fucking genius to work out how to avoid embarrassment like that.

>>694434447
the real question you should ask yourself is "are traps gay?"

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>>694434322

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>>694434322
You don't piss when you shit?

>>694428999
what's wrong with you?
couldnt you look at the fucking baton after the race?

>>694433709
I hate the word, an asshole is an asshole no matter who has it.
>>694433799
Prostitutes? No i'm to cheap for that
>>694434052
I Really don't see the link here and no
(well this is entertaining)

>>694429924
Lost

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>>694434563
its not gay if she has a cute dick

OK my turn

>Be me
>14 yr old fag
>waiting on bus stop for bus
>girl and some guy from same school come near me
>guy says "hey man this girl is interested in you"
>turn to them
>"wat?"
>"she wants to know your name, whats you're name anon ?"
>I drop the noodles from my pockets, make a retarded and say
>"Cock" (literally cock in my language, but in english it's the same as saying FUCK YOU)
>dude says "wat ?"
>My voice grows even manlier nd I say "COCK"
>Girl and dude laugh and then leave
>I realised how fucking retarded I acted
>I look behind and they are still walking away laughing at me

FML

>be me 15
>had gf for like 4 months
>says she'll give me a bj
>fuck yes
>get to it
>nervous as fuck for some reason
>she says "you ready?"
>i say "nah, I'm good"
>she leaves, I spend the rest of the day playing vidya and ignoring her texts
>break up a couple of weeks later

Why did I do that?

>>694435364
too small

autist or sadist idk but i lost my only friend

>be me, about 6yrs old
>no friends, make friends with a local girl
>shes fucking weird man
>doing normal shit, playing dr who, pissing up walls
>see huge ants nest in her back garden
>mfw
>tell her to look over there
>thisissparta.mp4
>she freaks the fuck out, standing staring in silence
>continues to freak until her mom comes out
>fucking covered in ants
>her mom takes her clothes off because theyre filthy and covered in bugs
>still staring, idgaf
>her mom shouts at me to leave so she can hose down weird naked girl
>first sadistic b0ner achieved (many moar happened soon after)

>>694435757

>about 6 months after
>see this bitch i hate
>stalk into girls toilets
>heard people talking about a nasty shit left in a toilet
>she sees me
>oshit
>tell her i came to see 'the poo'
>tell her to go in first
>thisissparta2.0.jpg
>screams
>run out
>she comes out crying with shit on her white scarf and in hair
>pissing myself

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>be me, 22 god damn years old
>at work
>phone rings, hope someone else will get it
>no one's getting it
>shit
>answer phone
>'Workaderp, this is Anon'
>"This is Gruffy Mcdruff. I need to place an order for a pack of Depends."
>wut
>'Wut'
>(annoyed) "Adult incontinence pants."
>wut we fix computers
>it's okay, Anon, just calmly explain that he's got the wrong number
>'O-okay. How many do you need?'
>what? Anon, no
>(even more annoyed) "It's the same order every month. Are you new or something?"
>fucking bail, anon. Hang up now, you're in too deep
>'Y-yes. Um. C-could I have your order details?'
>anon please stop
>Gruffy lists full details. Is now muttering curses under breath
>why are you doing this, Anon? Just stop...
>Gruffy demands that I read back his details
>blubber like a drowning fool
>Gruffy rages for a while and then lists details again
>write them down this time and read them back.
>"You'd better not fuck this up, you incompetent little shit"
>his fears are well founded
>assure him that everything will be fine and wait until he hangs up
>never hear from Gruffy again. Feel bad for whoever ends up getting blamed for this mess

I am so fucking bad at being a fully grown human.

>>694434120

>loyal to your friend

Not autistic.

Actually pretty manly. Good job, anon.

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>>694434241

>>694436132
Poor Mcdruff really shit his own bed by calling the wrong number.

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>Be me
>11
>Really Anti social
>only really have one friend who's equally antisocial
>This is around the time we discovered porn and we talked all the time about it
>both of us are curious as to what a BJ feels like
>Joke about giving each other BJs
>actually start to seriously consider it
>Then My family announces we'll be moving several states over
>now's our chance
>Both ride our bikes to the school Playground
>Go under the roofed area
>Pull out our dicks
>One of his balls is bigger than the other
>wtf.exe
>He sucks me off first
>I suck him off
>both agree it feelsgoodman
>That was the last time I saw him before I moved
>Mfw the last thing I did with my friend before I never saw him again was suck him off
>mfw we never talked about it again

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>>694435319

>>694434828
>she
I think u mean HE

>>694429308
This meme

>>694435545
Nice one mate

>>694438315
well why else would you deny head

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>>694426827
haha cuck

>>694438488
I was like, nervous or some shit. Size is irrelevant.

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>>694439145
ok so on a scale from 1-10 how nervous and whats your dick size

>>694432260
Hot

>>694432328
Cause you're acutally gay

>>694439275
8 and now at age 22 dick size is 7.5"

>>694439356
>>694433073

>>694439608
fair enough

Bumping for more autism

>grade 5 or 6
>ask teacher if they weed as a joke
>get call home
>grounded

More autism

>be me, 13
>a little chubby with low self-esteem
>my classmates invite me to the pool with them
>finally have the guts to agree
>the day comes
>i go to the pool
>"im here with a reservation for 6 people"
>the bitch tells me there's no such thing
>panic.exe
>I say brb and run home
>cry in the toilet because im a little pussy
>realize they were at the other pool
>Iwannakillmyself.jpg

>be me, 18
>have 8.5/10 fuck buddy slut from work
>get a motel across from our work
>she comes over for fuck
>fucking and i slip finger in her ass
>she weirds out and says she has to leave
>i beg her not to, im hard as fuck and need to blow it in her
>she leaves and doesnt come back
>i wasted $100 and didnt even cum

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>age 4 or 5 in school
>assembly time
>need to pee
>for some reason I think I cant ask teacher to go pee
>decide if I pee myself nobody will notice
>pee begins forming puddle
>continue peeing as if nothing has happened
>puddle spreads to some kids leg
>he starts freaking out
>got sent out of assembly to change and had to wear gym shorts home

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>>694436038
How was juvy?

>>694437130
You can easily find people on Facebook nowadays? Just send him a cock shot and ask 'remember this?'

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>>694441312
>>694440942

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>>694426827
>grill of my dreams moves in next door
>girlnextdoor.divx
>hang out always. Like every day
>go to swimming pool. Hang out like always
>get home and friends says. Anon, i think qt3.14 jas a crush on you
>mfw. Be cool ce cool be cool
>YOU FUCKIN WOT M8!
>LITTERAL 10/10 goddess
>i would commit genocide of the entire human race for a kiss on the cheek from this godess
>mfw. I am so autistic i litterally never did shit about it
>she grew up, got married, has kids
>some Chad got my girl.
>i'm maybe 5/10 on a good day
>always just thought she was being polite by not treating me like the faggot i am
>probably the most autistic thing i've done
>for fuck sure the most life ruining one...

>>694442229
My heart goes out to you, anon. I have felt your pain.

>be me 19
>work all summer at camp
>end of summer hang out with hot skinny grill
>trying to find stuff to do around the crappy town i live in
>she says "lets just have sex"
>ignore her pretend i dint hear her.
>cringe the rest of my life

>>694427530
you too? i thought i was the only one. im thinking it can be passed geneticly somehow

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>>694442523
you should really consider suicide

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>>694427154
No anon. Fuck the haters. That shit is funny

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>>694434134
finally someone who shares my pain

Did yours ever refuse to let you play with anything but girls toys?

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>>694442523

>Be about 10 years old, aspie
>About 2000
>Favourite hobby is making gearboxes out of Lego
>Local industrialist comes into my school to talk about how we should pay attention in maths etc
>Speaks to me afterwards in private with headmistress, tells story of how he built his business up
>She thinks this will help inspire me because I'm clever but the school is doing badly
>Set up factory with his dad in 1920s to make up to 12-speed transmission units for heavy goods vehicles
>Requisitioned by UK govt in 1939 for war effort
>Germans bombed it flat
>Rebuilt
>Fire in the Sixties
>Rebuilt again, ain't I impressed?
>Tell him "Wow, best gearbox I can make only has six gears forward and two reverse"

MOAR AUTISM!!!!!

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>>694429924
Ueah, well, niether are the YLYL threads anymore... NIGGERFAGGOT!

>Be me in first grade.
>Have a dream about seeing through people's clothes. One night.
>at school during test, my desk is in front of a mirror.
>I get my first boner.
>Completely oblivious to the class. Everything was very silent.
> literally whip out my dick and look at it from the mirror.
>play with it a little.
>eventually put it away.
>this is when I became a perverted freak.
>Girl in class I really hate, her name was Amy. Was a blonde cutie. I secretly wanted to see her naked.
>She ask to use the bathroom.
>she accidently didn't close the door all the way.
>I look and see her sitting on the toilet.
>holy fug I can see her pussy. I'm trying to study it.
>she looks up.
>EYE CONTACT
>Reaction.exe has stopped.
>staring right at her.
>boner chubs up.
>She gives me the middle finger
>Stand up angrily, rattling my desk.
>everyone looks at me. I sit back down.
> I take out my dick.
> I can see Amy covering her mouth and the fear of God enters her eyes
>Predator mode engaged
>mumble I need to pee.
>teacher says no talking.
>I shout I NEED TO PEE.
>Stand up holding dick walking towards the bathroom
>Amy rushes to get out, flushes the toilet.
>I swing the door open and slam it shut
>I roar as I assault this little girl who is screaming for help
>"I NEED TO PEEEEEE
>Old lady teacher finally bust down the door
>She yanks me off of Amy
>there is a new objective
>attempt to assault my teacher with my dick
>Classmates freaking out and I'm shouting, "I SAW ALL YOU NAKED IN MY SLEEP. STAY OUT MY HEAD"


Me and Amy's adventures didn't stop there. Oh no, there's much more that happened between us.

>be me
>9 years old
>brother keeps his playboy under his pillow
>trying to make friends with older kids
>steal brother's playboy, bring kids into the bathroom and show them "the money"
>some spics look at it, enjoy it, then tell on me
>get in school suspension for a day
>mom works at the school as a playground supervisor
>sees me in the office
>get ass whooped
>week later, find the kids' backpacks and piss on them
>turns out to not be their backpacks
>caught by 8th graders pissing on their packs
>get hit by one, then told on
>back to the office
>mom makes me do push-ups till I vomit
>brother beats me up because they threw away his playboy
>piss in his bed while he's sleeping
>he thinks he pissed himself

>>694442523
It was actually not that bad of a reaction.
It kinda sucks when you think about it, "i only had sex because even though i was a shy loser, this girl asked me to have sex"
It's only pathetic if you think it is.

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>>694443431
jesust fucking christ

>>694443431
huh. I should really consider pissing on people's stuff for revenge, this seems like fun.
Thanks anon.

>>694426827
No, he didn't steal your future, you gave it to him, gift wrapped, with a card that says, "Enjoy the future, it's all yours friend!" ...because you were a fag.

>>694443231
Better be pretyped

>>694443431
Lmfao. I admire the no fucks given bruh.

>be 10 years old
>had a gf in my class
>we never talked, only wrote love letters to each other
>once after school she kissed me and ran away
>some days after this she decided that we are not together anymore, because she has a new one
>wtf I am getting cucked
>fuck this shit, lets take her down
>bring a bag of over a hundred of her love letters to school to make fun of her
>she was the alpha female in class, so they organized and stole the bag and ran away
>next day they start making fun of me for things my mum said
>ohshit.jpg
>there was a letter from my mum in there from when i was in summer camp
>i literally just gave them all private messages anyone ever sent to me in an attempt to get revange

>>694444056
Maximum cuck

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>>694433176

>be me like 5
>at my moms friends house
>hanging with other kid in his room
>suck his dick and he sucks mine

>>694441367
Kek

>>694428798
Wut?

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>>694442664
well, i got the old stuff of her and her sister
but first wave feminism wasnt that hardcore luckily for us, now they go full retard with the poor chilfren

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>Be me, 15
>Feeling depressed
>Tired of school
>2 weeks before summer
>Want to stay home for those 2 weeks
>Try to make something up
>Tell to my teacher that I want to kill myself
>Teacher call my parents
>Get send into a mental hospital for 10 days.

>>694426827
MOTHER OF GOD. THE CRINGE.

HALF CRINGE BECAUSE OF YOU

HALF CRINGE BECAUSE IT COULD HAVE JUST AS EASILY HAVE BEEN ME.

>>694426827
lmao people don't understand because they've never had THIS experience. I have had THIS experience. It's a hard knock fucking life.

>be 7
>wrestling with dog
>grab dog's dick on accident
>he yelps, bites me, and runs off
>i think it's hilarious
>tell my dad about it
>"what are you, a homosexual?"
>idek what that means
>say no anyway
>I like dick nowadays
>I like girls, but I find dick hot
>still wonder if it's because of that day
I'm disgusting

>>694428999
nice trips man

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>>694433176
so you did some regular, normal kid shit- at an age where it's socially acceptable to do socially unacceptable shit?

>>694434322
shitting if for maggots, real faggots piss shit.

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>>694426827
>be me
>15 yrs old
>have gf for first time
>we plan on kissing eachother for the first time after school
>google how to make it and find all these steps
>one of them is to motion the word "ma" or "mom" with lips
>go to gf's house after school
>initiate makeout moment
>start motioning "mom" with lips
>gets so intense for me, I start groaning mom out loud
>gf notices
>kicks me out and thinks I want to fuck my mom
>tells everyone at school
>everyone calls me motherfucker(literally)
>want to die

>be me 14 years old
>At skatepark, Just chillin with mates
>Notice 9/10 group of girls walk behind me
>eyecontact ohshit
>they walk away
>15min later they come back torwards me
>Cute girl comes up to me
>me nervous af.jpeg
>"Hey my friend is wondering if she can have your number"
>She points to her and she is hotaf
>Realise olde kids were looking at me
>so.nervous "Nah fuckoff:
>Her face is shocked "oh"
>friend gives me sad look and walk off
>wtfdidijustdo

>>694443431
omfg that's movie worthy.

>>694446243
shouldnt you be in the traps thread?

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>>694442229
>me and bro living together just after high school living off graduation money and selling beer to our underaged friends >some kinda friends break down and push car into my front yard cause it broke
>say theyll get tomorrow
>tomorrownevarcums.jpg
>wekeks and months go by
>roomate gets drunk one day at like noon in july. 100° weather
>breaks into car
>pisses in driver's seat
>shits door
>meanmugs me as i wtf at him
>"they know the rules"
>continues for litterally like 2 years
>contemplating having it towed but roomate legit has only used this car for the bathroom when at home >for years!
>go on a 3 day bender with roomate
>car is gone
>he litterally flips his shit
>breaking shit angry
>THEBATHROOMISOUTSIDE.gif
>mfw, 3 brothers corner me in town
>mfw they say soneone peed in their car
>Gameface enguage
>"buhhh, i, u sure m8? Maybe a cat got in it?
>quite smallest brother i actually liked as a bro grabs my shirt and yells in full autism mode
>It was human piss! Gallons anon! Fuckin gallons!
>gameover.jpg
>sides take orbit and i fully prepare to get gangbeat in public because i litterally cannot function
>all bodily functions are concentrated in sustaining my life and KEKing at 3 dudes with more rage than 300 spartans or a crowd of feminists
>they leave i think
>i laughed so hard i pissed myself and passed out
>some knighwhite made them leave
>i tell him my tale
>we go jave a beer and he makes me tell it 5 times
>to this day still laughing
>that was almost 15 years ago...
Also, fuck 100% of all yall. Deroderp dubs every 10 seconds like its fucking Armageddon. Meanwhile i get back to back trips and not a word. Oh well, any other autism out there?

>>694428836
That's not autistic, it's what he deserved for being that annoying little shit.

>be me at like 12
>no friends
>new girl in class
>she's a weird little bitch
>she talks to me
>pretty much forces friendship on me, but I don't mind
>usually hang out after school running around in the woods and shit
>mfw she go's out there one day on her own
>she ends up drowning
>Dad tells me the next day
>start running like John Conner in T2
>run all the way to the woods
>start pretending there's monsters in the woods and shit
Why did I do that?

>>694446287
I HAD 2 OF THOSE ARE YOU TRYING TO TRIGGER ME MUTHERFUCKER

>>694429924
You must BE NEW

>>694445937
>autistic.

nah, sounds like you were genuinely depressed.

>>694446870
Good job you stole that from a movie

>>694446870
You had to cross a bridge to get there, yeah?

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>Be 12
>dad see's me playing with friend
>calls me a faggot
>tells me I should play with girls
later
>"hey anon, come help me move this stuff out the shed"
>go to shed
>turns out dad likes to get fucked
> cum in his ass while he blows my cock

>tfw he calls me daddy now

>be me a couple hours ago
>get out of meeting
>ask coworkers if they notice that boss A is pregnant
>everybody laughs at me for being late to noticing
>boss B looks at me like I'm stupid
>boss B calls me an autist…

I haven't said a word to anyone else the rest of the day.

>>694443720
Don't get caught. It's awkward to say the least

>>694446607
Autism/10

>>694447564
Fuckthat. That's hilarious.

>>694447564
Guy who told the greentext here
It's not at all awkward if you legit don't give a fuck. Heart racing, but not really embarrassing

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>>694434828
wow you're so gay fucking kill yourself faggot

>>694443231
You sound a little unhinged.

>>694447362
No that happened to me.

>>694448000
Trips of lies

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This was me.
Not even kidding.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6RSR_LBxhlA

>>694426827
Dude only fucked one chick ever probably. That's what you wanted for your future?

>>694434120
Being there for your friend isn't autistic, that's what you have to do anyways.

>>694447732
Kek

>>694445937
are you me?
outside of the kill myself part.
I used to skip school all the time not because '2kul4skul' but because i felt like i was learning nothing

I did this with my friend but we never moved until 16. I gave him bjs and he fucked me like every day in the summer and a ton during school from like 11-15. I miss those 4 years

>Be me age 8
>out with friends in an empty house
>go outside for cigarette, used to steal of mum
>finish cigarette, go back
>see friends laughing at something
>try to make me drink yellow substance in bottle
>know its piss
>after a few minutes of peer pressure, i drink anyway
>be sick, run home
>friends tell everyone
>have no friends, get bullied for years

>>694446870
>Be me
>Steal plots from movies and pretend they really happened to me
>Post my story online
>mfw I get called out and have to pretend it's really true
>fullautist.exe

>>694428836
Damn right he never spoke to you again. The weak should fear the strong

>>694448658
Same here but I told people irl.
The feeling of someone knowing what a piece of shit you are and not being able to escape by closing the tab is fucking awful.

>>694429308
what the

>>694448658
No that happened to me

>>694449123
yes?

>>694429308
I had the same type of parents
My brother had to scoop dog shit
For three years he was also scooping my shit

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>>694449313
wat

>>694449521
What is there to be confused about
I was told to not come inside
I'd have to shit
I learned to actually enjoy shitting outside
My brother had to scoop poop as a chore
He didn't know he was also scooping my shit
He flung half of the shit onto the roof anyway

>Be me, 13
>Kiss girl, childhood friend
>Mouth tastes weird
>Stop to tell her
>Says she brushed her teeth
>"Maybe your blood sugar is low?" used to always hear her say this and how it made her mouth dry
>Get evil eyes, looks like she about to cry
>She storms off, get threatened by her brother and doesn't talk for months

>>694446870
You can't Fukkin fool me that's bridge to terrabithia

I don't think you fuckers are ready for this,
This is like...weapons grade autism
well, you're still reading so:
>buying wax for my ass, shit you not
>see cute sperggy cashier at walmart
>friends tell me to try that *mac* I keep hearing about
>they walk off so i can lay on that smooth game
>i make a joke about how this wax is totally not for me
>she smiles and does not believe me
>point at SU button on her lanyard
>"peridot" i mumble spagetti welling up in my britches
>she giggles and we chat about SU for like a seconds
>ask her name
>she tells me and i smile and walk away
>immediately forget name
>ask if she can write it down for me
>she pulls out a pad and does, adds her Deviant art url
>I contain a cringe for the sake of the pussy
>then she closes the pad and begins putting it back in her pocket
>"well it would be more useful if i GAVE IT TO YOU HUH?"
>(she even had a little twitch when the caps start)
>i gotta hide a chub from the mutual spergetti
>we smile say goodbye and shake hands...shut up.

oh you thought it was over?
part 1

>>694426827
I dot understand. Did you actually call her a slut?

>>694427530
It's called clinical depression. It just happens. It can run in families too, as it does mine. I take anti depressants

>>694450461
Guh. Making me feel uncomfortable. What's SU
Also type faster faggot

This thread is good thread,

>>694446870
That movie was ass

>>694451104
Ass is good anon

>>694450842
SU=Steven Universe

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>>694440942
>cry in the toilet

>>694429308
Nooooooo, nothing makes you immune to bazinga

>>694450461
okay part two
>go home on cloud 9
>girl talked to me, might even talk to me again.
>i stalk her deviant art a do a little research
>not underaged, into similar fandoms
>send short not creepy greeting.
>wait
>.
>.
>.
>panic need excuse to return to walmart the next day
>DOGFOOD
>return wearing exactly the same thing, (work uniform)
>try so fucking hard to not seem like I'm looking for her
>try to look bored and unhappy
>see here coming out of the back
>crack a giant autistic grin
>shit shit i didn't plan ANYTHING TO FUCKING SAY SHITSHIT
>eye contact*
>FUCK smile and wave
>turn to continue shopping
>nope double-take
>walk up and say hi again laugh crack a stalker joke ()smooth af rite, kill me
>she laughs and continues on working
>I make the CRITICAL ERROR OF FOLLOWING HER SILENTLY FOR THE 6 MOST REGRETTABLE STEP I HAVE EVER HAD THE MISFORTUNE TO TAKE.
>she turns around justifiably confused
>"Shit! Now I actually am stalking you, sorry!'
>turn and walk away
>feeling bad for me or just fearing for her life she turns to me while still walking the fuck away from me, " been there done that" with a smile and wave.
>I buy my dog food and leave
JUST
JUST@!!!!
i don't want any of you guys pity just fucking kill me please,

>>694450842
steven lgbtiverse bruh

>>694429308
B

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>>694451402
Oh

>>694451704
What the fuck. How can one be so socially inept?

>>694427530
Man, just go for a psychotherapy. You need to figure out whats up with you man.

>>694447229
Actually no I wasn't THAT depressed at least not enough to pass 10 days in a mental hospital I just wanted to miss school at home not with a bunch of frustrated psychotic.

>>694448469
Yeah, I also felt like it but I didn't really wanted to kill myself I just thought it would have been a good pretext...

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>>694452301
ikr my continued existence is the heaviest burden i can possibly imagine.
KILLME
I
L
L
M
E

>>694452715
You need to go outside more. Seriously. Being inside won't help cause you're not interacting with anyone. It'll take years to recover but you either do that or you're fucked bruh.

Also, how old?

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>>694450461
>>694451704
kys

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>>694428836

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>>694427530

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Heres mine
>be me
>14
>edgefag
>at friend's birthday party
>pissed at this kid at the party
>find his phone
>he doesn't have a password
>youfool.mpeg
>text this 9/10 girl at my school
>text to her "i want ur pussy"
>kid freaks out
>mfw everyone in school knew about it
>mfw the 9/10 girl's mom worked at the school
>mfw

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>>694453025
23 close to 24
my friends a family give me that. Oh you're so funny and charming bs but, i have this nagging suspicion that that is absolute horse shit.

all i fucking want is a gf that isn't a self-serving cunt
shit at this point i'd settle for a trapfu
being a faggot would be way better than being this sad alone and fucking retarded,

>>694443431
>>694446243
I'm this guy
I don't even have to tell another story for this one
I had a smackjeeves account and made sonic OC Sprite comics

>>694453494
this story is fucking lame and I hate you.
get back on fucking newgrounds or at least lurk more.

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>>694441764

>>694449195
No its becky

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>>694426827

Story of being a pedophile as 7 y/o
>be me
>in the first year of elementary school
>do alot dumb shit as a kid
>shouting in class, running around all day
>being awkward af now that I think about it
>most kids liked me tho so I had some friends
>all the teachers on the other hand can't stand me
>recive shouting all day by them and get bad grades, and behavoir rate
>it felt like they making a revenge
>few weeks later teacher had enough
>reports to the principal that I give kids my chocolate if I can touch their pee pee
>get kicked out of school in first grade like a I'm a pedophile
>mfw never got chocolate in school

>>694426827
>"This isn't last year. I am a man. You're still a slut."
Holy fuck you're retarded OP.

>>694453704
Another
>12
>at friends house
>call girl he likes
>trying to help him get her
>pretend to be some guy named Jose
>wind up having her get a crush on this Jose guy
>was trying to pretend to be the older brother of friend
>had been laying down with chin pressed against chest to change my voice
>she's about ready to phonesex
>shitshit
>try to work it so she likes buddy
>"I want u Jose"
>reveal truth
>she doesn't believe me
>starts sobbing
>whatdoido
>friend says hang up
>we hang up on her, he deletes her number
>play soul reaver for 5 hours
>she shows up
>"where's Jose"
>she's still crying
>buddy's mom asks who Jose is
>I do the voice
>she runs home crying
>buddy's mom shrugs and goes back to drinking

Sorry if the formating is garbage, i am a newfag from r/4chan.
>Be me, age 5
>Be cousin, also age 5, we'll call him Trevor
>At Grandma's, in basement
>Playing vidya
>"Hey anon, wanna bite my weenie?"
>"No."
>"C'mon anon, why not?"
>"idk i just don't wanna"
>being young, i didn't think it was weird
>Next week
>Same thing, vidya in Grandma's basement
>"Hey anon, you wanna suck my weenie? My friends do it all the time."
>"I will bite it hard and it will hurt you (trying to say no)
>"They bite it before, it doesn't hurt"
>"Well i don't wanna"
Continue this for for the rest of the month.
>Years later
>We are both 13 years old
>Talking about embarrassing things
>I bring up him wanting me to suck his dick when we were 5
>"Anon, never mention that again. Forget about that forever, and please do not tell my girlfriend about that. I made up the things about my friends doing it."
>"Alright then."
Again, sorry if the formating is garbage, i am newfag with years of reddit experience, so i tried to put my knowledge of formatting here.

>>694453599
Nvm. You're beyond help. Carry on.

>>694453599
I would be your bottom bf anon

>be me, grade 7
>Full blown trenchcoat autist
>Super into Star Trek, watch it with parents
>Family bonding.jpg
>One day, hear this 9/10 girl talking about 'Kardashians'
>I have no pop culture awareness
>Assume she's talking about the star trek race
>Cardassians
>Im excited
>Someone else likes star trek!
>Run up
>"Who's your favorite character???"
>"...what?"
>"Star Trek! I heard you talking about it!"
>"...ew, star trek is gay"
>Years later I realized what she was really talking about

>>694454671
Oh god that brought up a memory I thought was gone
>at >>694454645 this buddy's house
>really young
>he's been around his brother a lot, learned that pee pee sucking feels good
>he hours into the closet with me, he's hard
>we suck each other, I'm not hard at all
I can't forget that

>>694426827
>Be me, 4-5 yrs old.
>Back yard has connecting fence.
>Neighbor on each side, 1 back yard, 2 diagonal
>Neighbor boy on other side of back yard fence, same age
>Neighbor girl next door on right, same age
>We all meet at the connected corner of our back yards
>Pervo girl suggest we all drop our pants and see each other naked
>Other boy and me okay
>All of us having an educational moment
>All the mothers bust out the back doors to their houses at the same time
>The other boy and I get spanked immediately
>The girl, no spanking
>Welcome to sexism, kid.

true story, repressed it for decades.

>>694435364
You fucking idiot

Most of you betas measure the success of your lives based on if you didnt bang a chick when you were children. Man theres so many girls in the world you could ask at random a girl everyday and one will say yes. No problems

>be me, young
>new girl starts at school
>obvious future slut
>wants the D
>"ew, girls are the suck"
>chases me every break, kissing me
>one day, decide i've had enough
>go to confront her
>open my mouth to speak, vomit all over her
>what the fuck
>she never comes back to school again
>no one knows what happened to her

>>694429308
Bazinga

>be me, 10 years old
>cuss in class
>get in trouble
>dragged off to a small room without any furniture
>get face slammed into a door that opens in
>gush blood from nose
>get transferred to a different school

I remember the golden days.

>>694447444
wasted trips.

>>694455668
Where's the autism

>>694455668
Wut

>be me, 14 years old
>got this 9/10 classmate
>friend tells me she really likes me
>tells me to man up and ask her for a date
>i do
>she just smiles at me and says "if you don´t reply to this post everyone you know will die this night"
>never talked to her again. also i replyed

>be me
>13yrs in year 8
>with friends, find a girls mom's fb in my class
>holyshit
>mom is an adult model, tattooed, fit af
>tell friends i want to bang this girls mom
>they tell her
>she loses her shit at me
>throws stones, bitching, calling me childish
>continues shouting 'childish' in art class
>walking behind her going to the sink
>hear 'childish'
>u wot m9
>see pink tissue paper on desk
>grab it and smoosh into her face, shouting 'EAT IT, WHO'S CHILDISH NOW'
>top keks
>she goes out of the room crying and calls her mom
>tells mom & headteacher i strangled and suffocated her
>kicked out of school for a couple days
>fucking worth it

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>>694454875
in a fucking perfect world...

>>694457075
never lucky

>>694457465
Sounds like she's the autist
Ur alpha as fuck

>>694455050
I just feel bad for you

>>694455415
Girls like that are typically being sexually abused and acting out

>>694447430
Lucky kid. My biggest childhood fantasy came true to you and you dont want it...

>>694457075
Shit nigga

>>694432260
more deets

>>694455415
Sold for meth probably

>>694435364

Lol. This fucking guy.

>>694436038
post MOAR

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>>694426827
I wear black everyday and actively avoid people.

>>694442713
KEK

>>694427530
I don't know why everyone replying to you is trying to comfort you, what you did was autistic and you should fucking kill yourself.

>>694457075
You have autism.

>>694434425
>zozzle

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>>694455050
That's amazing, anon. "Keeping up with the Cardassians." Looks like you're not the only one to mix up those two words

>>694443231
moar

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>be me
>summer b4 college
>took this 9/10 hot red head to a party
>ask her if she wants to dance
>get disgusted face reply
>ask if she wants to hit the pool
>same reply
>fuck this bitch , start hitting shots
>flirting with other girls
>got a number on the sly
>gonna take this bitch back so i can come back and fuck this other girl
>on the ride home red head gets all mushy , starts necking me in the car, asking if we can go to my place first.
>fuck ya, take her home start making out on couch. Go to finger her
>she gets pissed off instant denial
>stops for a second but then starts giving a killer blowjob
>jello shots giving me whiskey dick
>time to up this game, turn out the lights
>pick her up pull her panties down enough to start fucking.
>she gives in. SUPER fucking wet.
>rubbing her clit im fucking the shit out of her
>suddenly stub toe! Whiskey dick to the max
>ask for a BJ to help me out
>"anon I..." Shove her head down anyway
>terrible blow job.
>flip her over, fuck her hard trying to get hard , she cums. I can tell my limp dick is hurting her. I act like i cum.
>Hit the bathroom, blood on my hand, WTF!. Blood all over my dick and groin WTF!
> ask her if she needs a ride home
Carry her to my truck
>blood on her dress
>cab light in truck cab comes on when i open my door and im face to face with the joker
>raccoon eyes , period blood smears across mouth.
>never spoke to her again

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>be me
>3rd grade
>8/10 grill sits next to me
>we have conversation
>smoothasfuck.jpg
>friend waves to me from other side of class
>yells "HEY ANON LOOK AT THIS"
>friend tries to jump over desk and faceplants
>laughs uncontrollably
>laughing so hard lets out huge fart
>so loud it sounded like a motorbike starting up
>ohshit.jpg
>grill looks at me in disgust
>"anon i'm telling on you"
>plz no
>tries to stop her but fails
>teacher looks at me with the stare of satan
>teacher walks over to me and yells at me
>teacher announces what happened to class
>everyone laughs
>gets kicked out
>mfw when teacher comes outside to yell again
>finally gets let back in class after 20 minutes
>has to go in front of whole class and apologize
>mfw teacher brings it up randomly for rest of year
>never talks to girl again

>>694462696
That was alpha.
You just fucked up turning the lights off.

>>694429180
>trying to be Wolverine

Kek

>>694429924
Welcome to 4chan. Lurk and learn before you speak, nigger

>>694460514
he was a closet faggot who moved away a few months later

>midget me
>friends with cute female
>"dated" in 8th grade broke up
>me in 9th
>still friends with female
>still likes female
>never realizes she likes me back
>white trash guy who talks to female says she likes me
>okay, I'll ask her out after this weekend
>she starts dating trashy guy over the weekend
>reflects.exe
>autism detected

>>694426827
>Be me turn on the silent emergency alarm
>Be all rounded up Cops Swat team
>Fire Trucks amber lamps arrive
>Some guy told this bitches that didn`t like me I pressed the silent alarm
>Principal says who did it
>Bitch snitches on me
>I cry a lot cop whole police force is pissed at me
>The fire department
>The people from the ambulence probably even Swat.
>Get suspended a few days have my days playing video games from blockbuster

>>694427530
Good job on fucking with somebody else's life, you disgusting faggot should just die.

Not really autistic but embarrassing
> be about 14
>be at school festival with friends
> there's this one dick who keeps shooting his water bottle at me
> literally every minute I get sprayed
> ask him to stop every time
> "I am a no stop eh eh" (he was Polish)
> finally after about 50 fucking sprays I snap
>punch him in the nuts and shout
> "and down he goes"
> mfw he lies on the floor crying for 7 minutes
> mfw we just left him
> mfw I have no face

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>>694426827
>Be me 17
>Go to a party out of town don't know anyone
>German exchange student cutie challenges me to quarters, wins every time by rolling the quarter off her nose
>Gets me really drunk
>Friend is video taping game
>German girl and her equally hot American host try to drag me into a waiting cab
>I resist because I don't know how I'll get a ride home
>Pass up a chance at my first threesome
>Next morning everyone is watching the video of German girl hitting on me and me rejecting two hot chicks

I want to die on a daily basis

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>>694434241

>>694464592
Kek they weren't planning a threesome

>>694427530
>to this day i have no idea why
because you're a little bitch, man up

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>>694426827
Hahahahahahaha

>>694437130
Holy shit I choked on my food reading this, that's some funny shit

>be me
>9 or 8
>at some summer sports camp at the high school
>like swimming, y nawt
>pool is closed one day
>I pley tennis
>have to pee
>run to bathroom
>trying so hard to open
>locked
>go boom boom in pants
>I was trying to open the Janitor's closet
>autism.jpg

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>used to have dirt clod wars with neighborhood kids
>invites best friend over, he brings his landwhale sister
>my brother and I vs him and his sister
>our side of the yard runs out of dirt clods, we start throwing dried dog shit
>friend starting to get insulted, his sister grossed out
>my brother picks up this still warm wet shit the dog just layed and hits her in her open mouth
>I start giggling and pick up some shit too and throw it at my brother
>my brother had instaregret when he hit the landwhale and wasn't expecting me to throw shit too
>friend runs home with sister
>brother beats the shit(Kek) out of me and smears the dog shit on my lips
>I vomit and cry
Needless to say, last week sucked

>>694427530
Holy shut the same thing happened to me when I was about 9, except I attributed it to recently discovering porn (fucking newgrounds) because Catholic. I distinctly remember feeling emotions more vibrantly before that night if that makes any sense, and I've only gotten flickers of those feelings since then. Now my life's just passing time until the sweet release of death.

>>694464388
You did the right thing