Alright so i'm taking a shit right and its coming out of my asshole, what do I do next?

>>694419552
How many times did you have to de-cum a shower drain?

Could you unclog a toilet by making a vacuum in the bowl part?

>>694419552
Whats the weirdest place youve been to for plumbing

>>694419552
What is the weirdest thing that happened during your work?

>>694419629

I'd recommend wiping and flushing.

Also reattempting to gain the lost love of your parents.

>>694419641

I keep getting asked this question.

It's like 4channers just fap and fap and fap and never shower.

Don't you fags bottle that shit instead of blowing it down the drain?

>>694419687

Nah, if you can't plunge it you need a sewer snake to pull the tree roots out.

Was it worth it saving Princess Peach

>>694419552
What was the best job you have ever been on?

>>694420002
Shower fapping is a reward for the once a month shower.

>>694419833

Damn, good question anon.

Let me think about that one and get back to you.

Been to corporate places, hospitals, army bases, old folks homes, let me think about it and get back to you.

>>694419872

Easily worst and weirdest thing, greentext to follow.

>>694420050

Nah, bitch is always in another castle.

>>694420047
Nah like lets say you blew into the tube going undet the toilet

>>694419833

Gonna run some copypasta while I think over this.

>>694419872

Plum/b/anon delivers.

>Working for small business.
>Boss phones up one day "Got a job for you anon"
>"No worries, what's the address?"
>Boss gives address
>Now just letting you know anon, this guy may be a little... strange..
>"....ok"
>Rock up to house.
>Walking up driveway.
>Little pieces of paper all up driveway.
>Huh.... they look like toilet paper.
>Keep walking.
>Further up driveway. More pieces of paper.
>Brown stains.
>That *IS* toilet paper.
>MFW it's not wet, and it's not from a sewer overflow.
>Wtf.hat?
>Alright, let's see what i'm up against.
>Alpha chin on.
>Walk up to door, knock.
>Door opens, man is standing behind wire door.
>6'2 hulking fat hairy greek man.
>Completely butt fucking naked.
>Gigantic flaccid cock in full view.
>What the flying fuck.
>"WHAD YU WAN?"
>Uh... I'm the fuckin' plumber.
>Giant naked hairy greek bastard grunts.
>Hang on a sec.
>Walks into next room.
>No worries, must be going to chuck some clothes on.
>Walks back out, opens door again.
>Still butt fucking naked.
>"Alright come in..."
>Herewefuckinggo.avi

Cont.

>>694420323

>Fat greek bastard starts walking inside house.
>You know what, I'm behind him, he can't fucking trap me here.
>I'm gonna go have a fucking look.
>Step inside house.
>Place is a fucking pigsty.
>Newspapers stacked almost as high as my head.
>Canned food stacked up everywhere.
>Weirdest part of all.
>100's of tubs of vaseline.
>Like fucking HUNDREDS.
>All stacked up next to the newspapers and canned foods.
>Half of them have the lids off and are fucking empty.
>What the flying fuck???
>Wade past all this rubbish to his bathroom. He walks inside it.
>Bathroom is small bathroom.
>One bath.
>One sink.
>All of it, ENTIRELY
>let me be clear about this anons
>ENTIRELY SPLATTERED....
>WITH SHIT COVERED TOILET PAPER.
>It's like nothing I've ever seen.
>We're not talking like a few dalmation spots here and there.
>We're talking like massive lumps and chunks and everything.
>EVERY FUCKING WHERE.

Cont.

Where in backwater areas of Poland you live? Are you a fucking Polish kike?

>>694420365

>So fat greek bastard waddles into his shitty toilet paper covered bathroom.
>Ohgodthesmell.choke
>He walks up to the cupboard.
>Opens the cupboard door
>Turns on the tap.
>And points at the cupboard.
>"See?"
>....no....
>"See?? See?"
>No mate I don't see, what's the fucking problem?
>"Is leaking! See?"
>Mate, you're going to have to get out of the fucking way.
>He walks out, and into the kitchen.
>Stupidly I walk into that festering bathroom.
>Sure enough water is pissing out into the basin cupboard while the tap is running.
>"See? See?" He asks?
>Right now, I realise, he's right behind me.
>I'm trapped in a shitstained bathroom, with a naked fat greek man and several half used tubs of vaseline.
>"That's it I'm getting the fuck out of here".
>"But you not fix problem"
>He's not moving.

cont

>>694420395

Fuck off Britfag.

You've used up your EU passport, you have no say in anything foreign any more fag.

Enjoy sucking immigrant cock.

>>694420407

>Fat naked greek man still not moving.
>Aussie masterrace, mind like a steel trap.
>"Of course I haven't fixed the fucking problem, I've gotta go get my fucking tools out of the car mate."
>Stares at me angrily.
>Shit's about to get real.
>"Mate, I need you to get out of my way, so I can get my tools, and get it fixed."
>Fat naked greek continues to stare.
>Prepare to punch his stupid hairy fucking face in and be wrestled to the shit covered ground.
>Hairy behemoth Grunts.
>Gets out of way.
>I start walking out of the house.
>He follows.
>I walk to my car.
>He follows.
>I get in my car and lock the fucking doors.
>He is standing at the window just staring at me.
>In middle of street.
>Still butt fucking naked.
>"Where you going? You fix! You fix!"
>"Hang on mate"
>"No! You fix, you fix!"
>"HANG ON MATE".
>Phone boss
>"Who the fuck sent this job, is this a fucking joke?"
>"What do you mean?"
>"Dude, this guy is fucked UP, who phoned this IN???"
>"Hang on, I'll give you the number of the guy's social worker.
>......
>Fucking SOCIAL WORKER?????
>Tell boss "I'll call you back...." through gritted teeth.

Cont

>>694420516

>Phone social worker.
>"Dude, I can't fix this fucking job! What the fuck is with this guy?"
>"Yes sorry anon, unfortunately there's not enough mental health facilities available, so they have to put this guy in a commission house for now"
>"Mate! He's more fucking worried about a water leak under a fucking sink, than the BIG STEAMING PILES OF SHITTY WALLPAPER ALL OVER HIS WALLS!!!"
>Yeah, I know, the place is disgusting, I'm sorry about that...
>..... Mindsnap
>"YOU FUCKING ***KNEW*** THE HOUSE WAS LIKE THIS BEFORE YOU FUCKING ***SENT*** ME THERE???
>"Yeah... look... sorry... seemed like an emergency... thought we might have to get it fixed..."
>...double mind snap..
>"SO EVEN FUCKING YOU!!! WHO I ASSUME IS ***NOT*** A GIGANTIC CRAZED FREAK, SEEMS TO THINK A FUCKING LEAK.... IN A FUCKING CUPBOARD... IS MORE FUCKING IMPORTANT.... THAN CLEANING SHIT OFF ***FUCKING...... WALLS***????????
>"........................uh.......yeah... look... again sorry for that.."
>breathed in as deep as I could
>yelled as loud as i could
>FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKK YYYYYYYOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!
>Hung up.
>Fat naked greek guy taps on window again.
>"You fix?"
>FFFFFFUUUUUCCCCKKK OFFFFF!!!!!!
>Started engine.
>Hightailed it the fuck out of there leaving fat naked greek man standing fat and naked in middle of road.
>Drove to nearest KFC.
>Vomited my fucking guts up.
>Phoned boss, explained story.
>Boss laughed his guts up.
>Abused the cunt out of him.
>Took the rest of the day off and drank myself silly.

Didn't fucking rock up to work the next day either. The boss did not complain.

Naturally my return to work was met by a lot of cheesy bastard grins by all the boys, and the usual rounds of ribbings.

Bastards.

>>694419552
What country?

>>694419552
Has anyone ever actually dropped money into your crack?
If so, did it noticably improve your productivity?

>>694419552
I've got a buncha brown scum on the bottom of a toilet (in the bowl) that's been there forever.
any idea how to get rid of it?

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What are the three rules of plumbing? This was I will know you are a real plumber.

>>694419552
The water in my toiletbowl stopped running suddenly and I had to call a plumber and he changed some seal or sth., now the water runs again, but with no pressure, so it can't flush proper and he told me I have to change the whole toilet. Is it possible that this just happenend because it's a relative old toilet and it's just calcium and stuff that gathered with the time or did I get fucked over?

>>694419833

Ok, brave anon, thanks for sticking by me.

I have remembered indeed the weirdest place I've been. Not sure if it's even worth a greentext because it wasn't eventful enough, so here's the deal, even if shit greentext.

> Be me.
> Be apprentice.
> Old man gets called into job.
> "We need you to replace copper line in factory"
> "No worries cunt"
> Walk into factory.
> first thing that we see is BIG motherfucking lion staring us down.
> At least 7ft lion, just staring at us, jaw open.
> I have mini hearty.
> Old man was 6ft
> Even he has mini hearty.
> Notice some chick brushing his fur with a paint brush.
> I shit you not.noshit
> Look sideways.
> 10ft tall giant crouching
> Head size of a beachball.
> Fucking thing looks like hoggle from dark crystal
> Look to right.
> Some pixie looking thing painting a log.
> Dressed in overalls.
> Human but looks like actual pixie.

MFW we had walked into the costume, wardrobe, props and PUPPET department of the yet to be released "Lion Witch and the Wardrobe" stage theatre, yet to be released, only to pull up to be one of the biggest aussie masterrace shows to ever hit the stage.

Shit continued on to broadway.

MFW the fag who asked as to do the job asked us not to take pictures and my fucking old man cuntblocked me every tried to take one, and cockblocked me every time I tried to chat up the pixie...

Just brushing away as if nothing was happening.

>>694420242

I think I know what you mean. Are you still around anon?

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>>694420558
hahaha awesome. Shit's fucked-up though

>>694420576

Ausfag, brave anon.

>>694420729

Nah, I'd love to take a tip, but I"m a 5'5 manlet.

Nobody tips, not even with the glorious hairy cheque.

They usually just ignore the crack in favour of getting the job done.

>>694420576
Straya land.

>>694420736

Have you tried a toilet brush?

If not, try getting a bottle of cheap white vinegar, and before you go to bed at night, just pour it down and let it dissolve.

As long as nobody flushes it at night you should be fine in the morning to scrub it clear.

If it doesn't work first time, try it a few times, for a 12 litre bowl use two 1L bottles. Literally just let it soak into that shit overnight, you'll be fine.

>>694421140

1. Shit doesn't flow uphill.
2. Payday's on thursday.
3. You will always earn less than every other trade despite working harder.

>>694421485
What the fuck? you sound like a Victorian cunt, can't imagine the Queenslanders not finding the tip thig funny as hell.

>>694421191

He's full of shit.

Send me photos of your toilet and flush points.

if you can take your lid off and show me photos, bonus points..

>>694421606
yeah, didn't work.
I'll try the vinegar, thanks

>>694421401

Nice gif anon.

Plum/b/anon gives you the plunger of approval! :D

>>694421832

Just gotta make sure nobody's going to piss, shit or flush overnight mate.

you may have to do it over a few nights mate, just make sure you buy the cheapest vinegar and fucking do it over a few nights.

Godspeed anon.

>>694421687

Guilty as charged, sir XXXX/anon.

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Whats the weirdest shit youve found in a drain?

Also do you love me? Are you playing your love games with me?

Whats the funniest thing youve seen/have happen to you at work?

>>694422052

Weirdest shit hey.

Dessert spoons.

About 12 dessert spoons.

At a little old lady's house who didn't have kids, or grandkids or visitors.

Spoons.

No explanation.

She wasn't even senile enough to be the culprit.

>>694422303

Happen to me would be probably the one above with the fat greek man. CTRL+F greek for further information.

I suppose I could try to greentext one that's probably short but worthwhile.

>>694422332
What? Spoons? Fucking spoons? Thats a lot more tame than I was expecting...

Alright...
What is the absolute best thing that has evet happened to you on the job?

Are you polish?

>>694422723
No hes an auseiefag, learn to read dinglesticks

What's it like wishing everyday that you where a glorious god of the trade pipefitter instead of a lowley turd farmer?

>>694422884
I need say no more https://m.youtube.com/watch

you said you was going to be here 2 hours ago where the fuck are you

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>>694421763
sorry can't, at work right now, but thanks for the answer.
here are your tits

>>694422491

> Be me
> Be 7yo
> Cunt father is also plumber.
> Cunt father likes to take me on plumbing excursions as punishment.
> Doesn't matter what I've done wrong, I'm going to work.
> Be many years later
> Just realise Cunt father...
> A: Did not enjoy working alone.
> B: Did not really like me much.
> C: Enjoyed punishing me for the sake of punishing me.
> Bad report card? You're working for me.
> Say the wrong thing? You're working for me.
> Step out of line in some fucking imagined way that doesn't even make any sense? You're working for me.

Enough bitching.

Cont.

Are you often met at the door by scantily-clad, hot, lonely housewives who aim to seduce you? Or has porn lied to me AGAIN?

>>694422525

Damn, anon, hard query. Can describe a good fuck I had on the job.

Brb, with some copypasta while I try to think of a better.

Damn tonights been good for original questions!

>>694423449

> Back to me.
> Back to seven fucking years old.
> Back to having to work for my old man for some imagined sleight.
> Doing sewer job.
> Me too small to deal with drain snake.
> Have to wear stupid oversized gloves anyways.
> Old man keeps pulling cottonball after cottonball after cottonball out of sewer.
> Lady of the house pops her head out.
> "Is everything alright?"
> Be me.
> Pick up cottonball with oversized glove
> "I AM SEVEN YEARS OLD AND WHAT IS THIS???"
> Be lady.
> "Whooop!"
> Her head ducks back in the window as fast as you can imagine.
> Old man starts pissing himself laughing raucously.
> Be me.
> "What???.......WHAT???"
> "What the fuck do you think that is anon???"
> "I don't know? A cotton ball???"
> "It's what you call a 'white mouse' anon..."
> "It doesn't look like a mouse..."
> Invokes more laugher from the belly of the beast
> "What do you think a white mouse is anon?"
> ".........a white mouse....."
> ".......it's a tampon anon....."
> Drop tampon like it was leprosy.
> Throw gloves off like they are contaminated
> Lady pokes her head out the window again to check if it's safe.
> Be me.
> "SHIT!!! SHIT!!!! SHIIIIIIIIITTTT!!!!
> Lady pokes her head back in window with another "WHOOOP!!!"
> Old man is practically doubled over laughing by this stage.
> "SHIT!!! SHIT!!! SHIT!!!!

> "HAHAHAHAHA!!! NO ANON!!! TAMPON!!!"

It's kind of funny looking back. He's still a cunt though.

>>694422884

Guess I just have to suffer rolling in money instead of mud, faggot.

>>694423271

Hahaha, yeah, sorry I didn't rock up to your workplace 2 hours ago.

Fixed your missus's pipes though.

You might need to finish unclogging your boss, newfag.

>>694423374

Thanks for tits. Chances are he's tightened your float valve too hard mate.

You'll find me around again, how long you at work for?

>>694423474

Porn lies to everyone. That's why we cut the storyline and go straight to fapping to two hot lesbians who look nothing like real life flannel wearing hairy men.

>>694422525

>Be me.
>Be maintenance department of large office building.
>Building be full of absolute stunners, 10/10's galore, is like paradise except for one small detail
>Bitches be stuck up and won't talk to me.
>Friendly guy, spend all day running around saying hello to random femanons.
>All ignore me, all seems pretty fuck you.
>One day meet one of the cleaners. She's a big fat bitch with a massive underbite, complete bogan.
>For you amerifats, bogan = redneck - Aussie masterrace edition.
>Some many months later, meet her companion. Also bogan, but body of a goddess.
>Companion, this is anon
>Hello companion nice to meet you
>Yeah, whatever.
>Nothing eventuates. Even companion of bogan is not so interested.
>Fast forward a few months.
>Chat to bogan and companion quite regularly on and off whenever I bump into them.
>Start sitting down and having coffees with them. Nothing unordinary, just chatting about work related crap as people who work in the same building do.
>One day walking past cafe, see bogan and companion in there, companion is motioning for me to come inside.
>feelingcheeky.jpg
>Go up to companion and start tapping on my cheek while she's talking at me
>Realises she's being interrupted and is all
>Whaddya you want?
>"Well come on, give us a kiss"
>She sighs, gives me a kiss on the cheek, then asks "Do you know anybody who can get $800 back off a guy for me?
>"Yeah I do, but it will cost more than $800 to hire them."
>Wink and walk away.
>From this moment on, I noticed a subtle shift in her attitude towards me.

Cont.

>>694424020

>companion is talking to me a little bit more smiley each time.
>companion starts coming up and giving me hugs every time she sees me.
>Inforthewin.mov
>This goes on little bit by little bit for a couple of months, continuously either interrupted by work colleagues, who could catch us not working, or interrupted by bogan.
>It gets to the point where bogan pulls me aside one day.
>"What's your intentions with companion?"
>"What?
>"Yew heard me! What's your intentions with companion?"
>Give her a cheeky bastard grin
>"Don't know what you're fuckin' talkin' about" and wink
>She gives a sly grin and says "Ahhh yeah... Well I reckon you're in like flynn"
>Ball emptying confirmed.
>Try to figure out a way to get her alone.
>Find plant room on top level of building never knew was there before.
>Has amazing view across whole city through louvres.
>Bogan decides that I need to be more forward with companion.
>Be more forward with companion, companion keeps backing off, too shy.
>Bogan decides she needs to concoct a master plan with me.
>We all travel up to the top plant room to "have a look"

Cont.

I have been considering a dual showerhead, but am concerned that it might damage the plumbing. One is removeable.
Only adults live here, is it worth the risk? The pipes behind are shitty to get at.

Also, have you ever been hit on while on a job?

>>694424063

>Get to top plant room, showing both girls the view.
>Start edging closer to companion, companion this time not edging away.
>Keep making conversation as if nothing is happening. Run hand up back of companion.
>Move hand under back of jumper and start lightly running my nails on the bare skin of her back.
>She'slovingit.avi
>Continue chatting, getting a bit hotter and hotter.
>Start running hands up and down hips
>She is wearing shorts, no fabric
>Start running hands along thighs
>Kissing neck, chewing on shoulder.
>All while having convo while bogan is peering out at the scenery.
>Unfortunate situation.
>Bogan knows exactly what's going on.
>Bogan refuses to leave.

>Start making hints at bogan.
>Bogan pretends not to understand hints.
>Then bogan starts wandering around plant room, inspecting it.
>Finds empty room.
>Ah.... You guys can go for it in here!
>We look at each other.
>Yougottabefuckingkiddingme.jpg
>Bogan returns to looking out at view.
>"You guys go do what you gotta do, I'll just wait here."
>Yougottabefuckingkiddingme.fuckoff
>We give each other a frustrated look, and just continue subtly touching each other.
>We know bogan isn't moving, but we're not doing shit until she leaves.
>We both know she wants to get a voyeuristic kick out of walking in on us half way through a fuck.
>We also know this would be huge turnoff.
>But fat bitch won't budge.

cont.