>>694073949
you can make shitty posts on /b/

>>694074094
The ability to only be a smartass

the ability to see through windows

Ability to pee double in mornigs

>>694073949
ability to teleport everytime you smash some car headlight, one single teleport

The ability to speak to dead tree branches

Can overcome Sadness

Cause Sadness to be worse

>>694075340
That wouldn't be so bad, really. Cars are almost everywhere to trigger it, and a headlight assembly costs like what, $40? Keep a couple around just in case.

Also, I could see that saving you from a car accident once or twice, if you're lucky.

Cant be sad

Cant be happy

The path you walk creates life

That life dies within days and returns to normal in weeks

You absorb other peoples sadness

Nothing ever gets better

The ability to transform into a fake wooden chair. You can only use this power once, and it's permanent

Instead of dying, you continue to age for another 200 years.

Kill yourself

Always be born without any memory of the past.

>>694073949
the ability to live forever

>inb4 that's amazing
forever.

Cause people to fall in love with you
They only love you when they feel trust

You can not feel pain
You can not feel satisfaction

You can open locks with a single word

The lock can't be attached to anything

The ability to give other people abilities.
Depending on how creative you are this could be OP though.

>>694078099
>watch earth explode

>thrown into space

>aliens find you kidnap

>Anal probes forever

>fml
The ability to sneeze on command, but you shart when you do.

See the true value in humanity

Develope crippling brain c9ndition

When you die, you are reborn the previous day
Forever.

Accept death
Die soon after

The ability to gain weight, but inability to lose it

>>694078544
>find way to kill yourself as baby in one day
>abuse to hell
>timetravel

The ability to shit melted gold from any food
melted.

>>694078663
Eh, could be worse. Better than not coming to terms with mortality.

Deaf, blind and mute

Can view the collective consciousness

the power to be invisible only when nobody is watching you

Political savant

Horribly disfigured, including speech impediment

Can save self with impenetrable cage
No one can every touch you again

>>694079179


Wear blindfold


>profit

>>694073949
The ability to cum with no stimulation when in disgust

>>694079179
Between sneaking by cameras and some good old fashioned metal gear cone of vision awareness, I'd say you'd be pretty well off.

The ability to become anime girl
In horror anime

>>694078327
you can give someone the power of giving only you an ability.

Be most successful human being in 50 decades
Be aborted

Be able to experience love
Love becomes a crippling experience

>>694079552


That's some Bad Luck Brian shit right there

>>694079552
how does this even works

>>694073949
I already have that power


It's called being Jewish

The power to regurgitate used toilet paper.

The ability to speak any language to see in writing


Forget last language you knew

You cannot turn this off

you can see the future but you can't talk about the future in any way never ever again, when you try to you faint or something.

Feel love with everyone

Hate youself

Ability to turn invisible whenever you faint from heat exhaustion

>>694079816


Kek

>>694075154
>huge amount of piss
>get money for Golden Showers

The ability to Felch without contact within 1 feet only

The abilty to always win in your quest to lose

the power to perfectly mimic a K5LA train horn, but only when I'm in a deaf person

The ability to spawn a single brass nail one inch long, exactly one inch from your forehead, every two months, between the hours of 2 to 3 AM, on a Tuesday. This brass nail will last until it is destroyed or until you spawn the next one.

File: bow.jpg (2 MB, 2425x3301) Image search: [Google]

2 MB, 2425x3301

>>694073949
the ability to talk to plants, but only after they have died

The ability to smell earwax anywhere on earth

Make something better

Hurt yourself

>>694073949
The ability to flip tortillas with psychic powers.

Can only teleport 6ft in any direction every 30 minutes

>>694077736
winner

File: 1449707883218.jpg (77 KB, 507x525) Image search: [Google]

77 KB, 507x525

>>694073949
Thats pretty much a stand from jojo

Acid Tears. And you have no option, they will always harm you.

The ability to change your hair colour at will only when no ones looking

>>694079699
All life is pain, anon. By jumping to the end, you skip a lifetime of anxiety, fear, and loneliness. Even better if you go before your nerve endings come online. From a hedonist standpoint, you've skipped a lifetime of terrible shit, and the only thing you've lost is the false hope of fulfillment.

>>694073949
Ability to make someone fart

The ability to see farts

>>694079924
Congratulations, you're a crack whore!

>>694080234


Lame manga is lame
The ability to turn into a neet weaboo. It's permanent

Feel humanity's joy
Feel humanity's sorrow

>>694080389
>>694080392


>Be secret agent

>make bad guys fart

>see farts


>¿¿¿¿

>Profit!

The ability to shit blood on your command

The ability to tell how many pubes someone has.

Never feel anxiety or fear
It culminates before death

The ability to make all taxi drivers Muslim

> Pretty sure someone has this power

The ability to orgasm on demand
Your cum is replaced with crushed tortilla chips mixed with lemonade

>>694080109
You could set up some really devious deadfall traps with that. Or have a bitchin' prison shank.

Or start a cult and use this as the finale of your dark ritual. Exactly one inch means you can make it materialize inside someone. Boom. Instant cult cred.

You you have the power to be invisible. But only to yourself

>>694080193
You would be regarded as a minor god in Mexico.

>>694080781
That's devious yo

Ability to fly for 0.5 seconds

Have perfect aim when pointing a gun at your own head

You can fly, but you don't remember how to

The ability to see air

The ability to kill all honeybees within a 400 mile radius. Only honeybees, wasps, and jellowjackets are immune.

>>694077276
a.k.a. Xanax

The ability to see your death coming


Five seconds before it happens

The abilty to never forget anything but your mind gets so crowded you can't remember new information

>>694080389
Are you kidding me? You could build a comedy career on this! Maybe even a space program!

Appreciate beautiful music beyond belief
Deaf to anything but 90s music

>>694073949
I wonder if donald has a penny in his pocket. Not very lame.

Ability to shoot ketchup from your nose, but only at mcdonalds.
inb4: is not food quality and only sort of tastes like ketchup.

Ability to forget any bad memory, but you can only use this ability by shitting your pants in a crowded place

>>694080903
Free whores and infinite tortillas is my destiny.

>>694080965
So you can calculate wind direction, and notice air current patterns. Fucking profit.

>>694080914
Could save you from some nasty falls. Or get you over some spy movie pressure plates. Or have you hailed as the next messiah.

>>694080914
you can levitate to save your life when you're falling or something.
or you can do mini jumps in the air to float.
and you can double jump.
you just gotta be creative lol

>>694080965
Seeing air means seeing where there is not air. Contract with the mining industry, see pockets of explosive gas displacing visible air. Save lives and get fucking loaded.

>>694077639
Robin Williams is that you?

Can not be burned
Fight in hell

>>694079873
>get a sentence of any language you want tattood on your arm

The ability to taste with your eyeballs

>>694081062
Depending, with some good reflexes, that might just be enough. Five seconds is normally enough to get out of oncoming traffic.

>>694081376
>>694081397

You do know that's like a regular jump right? Falling part seems great though.

Okay what if you can only fly for .5 seconds but only when you have both feet planted on the ground

>>694081260
You do you, Juan! Make your country proud!
We're all rooting for you.

>>694081673


Airplane crash? It's mountain pizza time!

Constantly experience instant gratificatiom

An instant happens over an incredible period of time

>>694073949
the ability to hear every baby on the planets crying, no matter where they are