>>693784518
Autism gives people weird quirks.

>>693784518
i have mastered long distance shitting

>>693784822
fucking this

Mastered a new tier of fapping.

I'll fuck anything

I can rocket my cum into my trash can

>>693785739
From how far?

>>693785916
About 5-6 feet

Can't maintain an erection while fucking a man even though I'm straight.

>>693786037
And in a non-retarded type of measurement how much is it?

>>693786206
1.524e+9 nanometers

>>693786206
About half a hand full, it depends if I beat off earlier in the week

>>693786206
OH you're a eurofag. It's about 100 cm

>>693786353
kek

>>693786206
2 meters to be exact

I can masturbate with my feet

>>693786644
No you cant

File: 1447447905816.jpg (14 KB, 294x273) Image search: [Google]

14 KB, 294x273

>>693784518
I can throw soda cans through the air in correct alignment such that they capture mosquitoes or flies during their flight path.

I can fuck my own ass by standing still

I can convince myself I'm actually an alpha and remove beta status for up to 6 hours a day

>>693784518
unsheathing katanas and teleporting behind people

>>693784518
Integrated old greek/roman stoicism philosophy in my life.

I'm pretty great at lying

im a really good rock climber, so i guess thats not so special

i can make a girl cum

>>693787568
Wall or natural

I can ride my bike with no handlebars

>>693784822
>>693786100
>>693786644
>>693787766
i can check dubs in posts

>>693787909
natural

>>693784518

>a vagina

Summon doubles at will

I can turn my upper eyelids inside out

I pick up languages very easily.

I am also too lazy to study them, or anything else for that mater, so it's basically meaningless.

>>693788061
Cool, I personally prefer walls cuz I don't want to break something, but I like the idea of rock climbing

>>693786872
Impressive anon

I'm good at not killing myself

i can read an average book page in about ~20 seconds. (I dunno how many words, but they were young adult books)

>>693788292
this

I have the ability to create a really neat personal business card

>>693788344
Yeah? You read the title and then the summary on the backside and just guess?

i can sense auras aka i have a human radar.

>>693788250
what languages

>>693786872

vid of this or BS

My parents think I'm taking my masters in a program I dropped out of 3 years ago, Ive been stopped by police 6 times in 5 years and not gotten in trouble despite not having a license, been in a relationship with someone I don't even care about for half a decade, I actually just deal/smoke and play vidya

>>693784518
You must be a jew

>>693788513
I can sense gays aka I have a gaydar

Ftfy

>>693788446
no, most young adult novels are pretty predictable and aren't that hard to read.

When it touch my pee pee it gets hard and big

>>693788513
I can see mental illnes of people predicted by post text

Nobody can. take my life because I have no life

i turn threads into get threads
also check em

>>693787540
rome fell for a reason, buddy

>>693788754
So you don't actually read them you just read keywords as you flip the book from start to finish, that's more like, I can figure out the plot of any case x book in 20 seconds

>>693784518
>washingpole.jpg

>>693788889
and stoicism is not one of them, fagit

I can self diagnose myself with mental problems

>>693788931
i just know whats happening so I don't have to stop and reread it or analyze it

>>693789027
No but taking it in the but was

>>693784518
I can fap to boobs

>>693788889
also off by one, dayum

I can read multiple words at a time, not that I read books or anything

I can keep rhythm with no metronome

I can drink 20 beers (4.0% alc. by vol.) in under three hours.

>>693788889
FOUR SAME NUMBERS CHEKD

>>693789045
But you actually don't

I can summarize the first Harry potter book as: adopted kid is unbeknownst to himself a wizard and he gets send to a school of Magic after his 11th birthday, where he helps the headmaster stop a dark wizard from getting ahold of a stone that could bring him back to power

HOWEVER

>>693789219
0,5 liters each.
not those tiny ass 0,33l american cans

>>693784518
I can ride my bike with no handlebars.

File: Comfy_guy.jpg (41 KB, 600x579) Image search: [Google]

41 KB, 600x579

I can accept wellfare without feeling any guilt.

I can re-create most sounds I hear with my mouth with great accuracy

I have a very maleable face allowing me to use a wider range of facial expressions

I can memorise 100 digits in 5 minutes and repeat them backwards and forwards.

>>693784518
i can get snickers for free
get on my level u fucking peasants

I can lick my eyeball

>>693789152
I can ride my bike with no handlebars.......no handlebars

>>693784518
me too. Just need a spoon for it

I dunno if Id call it an ability but they call me Pete-re-pete cuz I say everything twice

>>693789669

>>693789504

>>693784518
I can cum in less than 10 seconds. Meaning the girl I am with doesn't achieve orgasm. Which is great because orgasms are for sluts and I don't fuck sluts.

I can text and drive

Ninja grip - I have extreme reflexes and the ability to catch/grab things before they drop/fall/break on a constant basis.

>>693789027
Actually Marcus Aurelius, a major figure of Stoicism, failed to repel attacks from Germanic Tribes, thus leading to one of the factors that lead to the downfall of the roman empire

>>693784518
i can see through glass.

I have 2 girlfriends

I can lie without the detector noticing

>>693789900
Gladiator was a good movie

I can look at people preflop and know if theyll call or even three bet me.

Helps more than you think when youre at a lose table playing for stacks with low pocket pairs and suited connectors.

Once I knocked a glass of wine at my mother by accident but I caught it before any spilled

>>693789541
Thank you anon for remembering me of that song. Thank you

File: 1467735005201.jpg (27 KB, 604x403) Image search: [Google]

27 KB, 604x403

If i listen a song once i will never forget it.
I can write the lyrics of the song at any time too

File: Screenshot_2016-07-05-05-25-34_com.google.android.youtube_1467714374959.jpg (35 KB, 490x543) Image search: [Google]

35 KB, 490x543

I can crack my knuckles nonstop

Freaks people tf out

>>693789975
Actually I just went on wikipedia and clicked on the last major figure of stoicism

>>693789239
They are named quads

Kid I knew could turn his head 270 degrees
Op is a fag

File: 13123358_1026962620717898_3564586958449533304_o.jpg (177 KB, 2048x1365) Image search: [Google]

177 KB, 2048x1365

>>693788220
Checked

File: 1450882323921.png (6 KB, 244x206) Image search: [Google]

6 KB, 244x206

>>693787551

I can blow consist spit bubbles off my tongue. I have never met another person that can do it.

>>693790149
same

This statement is a lie

I can dissapoint every woman i sleep with

File: 1396918453706.jpg (53 KB, 400x580) Image search: [Google]

53 KB, 400x580

>>693790079
Im am glad to have remenbered you anon

>>693790184
That's cool

Gladiator is still a great movie though and I think Marcus Aurelius is the king that gets killed by commodes correct? So you reminded me of it

I'm a really good invoker player.

File: 11916644_10206595396621954_1721193308_n.gif (1 MB, 360x202) Image search: [Google]

1 MB, 360x202

>>693786872
dank

File: image.jpg (30 KB, 702x209) Image search: [Google]

30 KB, 702x209

bonus Internet points if you get this
The path lies empty
Epiphany seeks the devoted

By breathing slowly, I can slow down my heart to around 30 BPM. Just works if I wasn't doing anything physically excruciating beforehand.
I can put both feet behind my head.
I'm a silver scrub; but I routinely beat Platinum players in 1v1 lanes where no jungle or teams are involved.

>>693790490
No, fuck you, you are alone and no one wants to play your nerd games. Go get real friends you cunt.

File: 1346947716346.jpg (26 KB, 228x206) Image search: [Google]

26 KB, 228x206

>>693786584
>>693786470
see you dont even fucking know which that weird feet measurment shit!

>>693790267
I can do it to, but not bubble more like a single stream of "water"

>>693790310
But you still get to come to me every night, don't you dad?

>>693790490
>no comfortable place in the mouth for your tongue
That's cuz you're stressed, put your elbow on the table, make a fist and lay your head on your fist and press your jaw down on your fist, don't need to do it hard, this'll relax you and your tongue will calmly lay comfortably

>>693790637
I do actual little bubbles just one at a time. The biggest I ever did was about the size of a US dime.

I know how to get most gays to cum just by sticking both my fists into their anus port.

File: 3456734567.jpg (22 KB, 475x475) Image search: [Google]

22 KB, 475x475

>>693788292
liar.

>>693790768
Yeah but you'll never get your fathers respect

>>693790335
Well that's not what actually happened but, yeah in the movie he does.

i can hold myself not jumping uit the window right now

I had a newfag tell me once that the government couldn't track him.
That isn't even the best part.
He said he was invisible because he used incognito mode

im good at getting dubs

>>693790971
nevermind

>>693790739
Well I don't do the same as you then, like it's really a stream of saliva coming from under my tongue. Bad analogy but it's almost like squirting from my tongue

>>693789309
I CAN END THE PLANET IN A HOLOCAUST

>>693784518
not giving a fuck

I can drink all your booze, bum a smoke every time you want one, get you to buy my meals, make you drive me places and live in you house rent free for a year. And your wife doesn't even care anymore she hates you so much.

>>693786470
>oh your a eurofag

All but 3 countries in the world use metric, not just European ones.

>>693791061
bitch prove it

>>693789480
fuck, you win....

>>693789480
I get Starbucks for free.

>>693791005
I know what your talking about. I can't do that. I remember kids in middle school doing that shit at people in the hallway. Some where able to shoot that shit far.

>>693791079
So ruin lives/marriages... You should make that a business

>>693791061
Shut up Putin

>>693790707
Muricas think there is just usa and europe

I can run experiments on elder people at my retirement home.

I can drive MT.

I still lack driving skills, tho.

>>693791270
Nah, porn beat me to it.

I can beat my wife without using my hands

File: image.jpg (29 KB, 332x443) Image search: [Google]

29 KB, 332x443

>>693784518

>>693791416
So you just kick her?

>>693791350
Euros just think there is Europe, America and Syria

>>693791416
>roundhouskicking the bitch for leaving the water running

I know how to count ALLLL ZHE WAY to shfifty-five!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-XccUMOQ978

can accurately duplicate any accent ive ever heard and retain it for later
helpful talent fo a DM/GM to have.

>>693791503
Dumbass, they know about the fish people too. Always taking pictures of their buildings and flocking around in their groups.

I can piss in toilet in the stall next to the one Im standing in, over the stall wall.

>>693791480
Pretty much

I'm really skilled at seeking and killing fleas on cats.

I can betwixt any fair maiden with my smooth social behavior skills. I write them poems, send them pictures and could even defend their honor if Chad decides to stand them up again!

>>693785335
I've mastered long range bullshtting.

File: MV5BMjA1ODAzNzQ5M15BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwMzQ1ODI4Mg@@._V1._CR171,167,156,217_UY317_CR7,0,214,317_AL_.jpg (19 KB, 214x317) Image search: [Google]

19 KB, 214x317

>>693791667

>>693787452
"pssh, nothin personal kid!"

File: picard.jpg (23 KB, 921x606) Image search: [Google]

23 KB, 921x606

>>693791712

>>693791503
> impying syria as continent

I understand every joke and reference in Family Guy and American Dad and can explain to you the historical details.

I'm very talented in having lucid dreams

If i move my tounge in a certain way i can throw 2 strings of saliva like 2 meters away

I can stop blinking for like 10 minutes

I almost don't feel the cold weather

I can convince people to do things that benefits me but affects them in a negatively way

People always tell me their secrets

I can sense soft footsteps near me while i'm asleep

>>693791588
Can duplicate the last number aswell

I can follow what the kike is up to behind the scenes in Washington, despite its best efforts to keep me distracted and misguided with its vast multitude of news and entertainment media.

>>693791953
You think you're a psychopath. Except psychopaths don't understand what they are. You just don't have an outlet for your energy and fear rejection, you're just an introvert.

File: images__1_.jpg (8 KB, 251x201) Image search: [Google]

8 KB, 251x201

>>693788606
Must be white

>>693792094
I'm not a psycho, and i don't fear rejection
Explain yourself please

I can recite every line in the 1994 Japanese animation film (that's we like to call "anime") クソダムことをしています (or for you uncultured children: "Twin Sister; We become Father now!").

I always impress.

I can triforce
  ▲
▲ ▲

>>693792094
Hit a button huh?

When my clan is prepping/doing a raid, I can go for days without moving from my computer or sleeping. I'm pretty much the best.

i can cum in 30 seconds from flacid to hard

  ◢◣
◢◣◢◣
I can tri-megaforce.

I once shot an 18 on a 18 hole course but I was by myself so no one ever believes me.

File: 1457370770095.gif (4 MB, 640x333) Image search: [Google]

4 MB, 640x333

>>693790400

>>693786206
About 5-6 feet

>>693792553
I don't get how people can do that. I can't sit in front of my pc for more then a couple hours without hurting somewhere.

>>693792727
I am squishy in most places :3
Plus my mom comes down and brings me munchies and dew and I usually have a piss bottle.

I am the fear in the forest.

>>693792700
> minigolf

I am really good at lottery. I have won the powerball 4 times.

I can kill a man with one swing of my hammer.