>>693723826
Terry Tennerman has a nipple dick

Just kill yourself already

Id tell me to stay on track in school, nothing is worse than graduating high school at 20

>>693723826
Never fuck Kristen.

"Stop thinking your penis will grow when you get older, it fucking didn't"

>>693723826
GO OUTSIDE YOU FAT FAGGOT RETARD!

Join the National Guard.

>>693723826
I wouldn't tell myself anything because I know I wouldn't listen anyways

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>>693723826
"Don't despair, you will have lots of hot sex; however, most of it will occur in your thirties."

And it did.

Tell your dad to stop fucking around and buy gold, and like a shit ton of it, and then sell it in 2011 when it hits 1900, and then buy a fuckton of it again in December 2015. Also, invest heavily in bitcoin when it first starts up and sell right before MtGox goes belly up.

Don't date ana

>>693723826
Don't marry her.

>>693724162
kek

we dont love no thotties

>>693723826
Dont put security forces down on your dream sheet. Also fuck Christian's girlfriend when you meet her she wants it bad.

don't drink, get in shape now :(

>>693723826
On May 10th 2007 around 14:00 go hide in the hallway next to the staircase and give Igor a light push when he starts going down the stairs.

If you let them, Ann will destroy your life and Anne will trap you with a baby. Stay away.

brush your damn teeth everyday you idiot

Dont be a faggot and fuck em' up all your enemies with a bat.

Pay attention in French class, you need that garbage fucking language to get any half decent job in your field.

>>693725095
what field?

prepare yourself for the 4chan fappening

Wanna bone?

tell yourself something? i would just fuck myself, i was really hot back then... Guess that's why i got raped by this man that kinda looked familiar 14 years ago

Don't be a pussy and talk to girls.

>>693723826
The lotto numbers for my 18th birthday, obviously.

>>693725136

History (I know), specifically anything museum or government related. Or mostly anything where you deal with the public.
Ottawafag, bilingual is pretty necessary here.

>>693723826
Don't trust Danielle you just started to accept her into you're heart and then she, with the knowledge of the trust issues along with other issues, shit all over you.

>>693723826
Invest in Apple.

>>693723826
Fuck chicks but never get involved with them for longer than a month.

>>693723826
Invest in gold

Let her go.

>>693723826
>the cat isn't sticking its nose in the plate and glass

immersion ruined

>>693723826
Get off 4chan

>>693725337
Auburn wins the national championship in 2010 bet every penny you can find

stay away from the crack pipe and get out of that town

Order Estrogen and T blockers from the internet

>>693723826
Don't fuck it up with her & don't start drinking you dumb piece of shit.

>start breeding colored ponies
>teach them to fuck humans
>???
>profit

>>693723826
your dad's gonna be diagnosed with lung cancer 8 years later. please tell him to get an early check up before its too late.

Instant gratification is empty and kills you slowly. Be something you can love.

>>693723826
Kill yourself before you get in over your head

Learn internet marketing....


I swear I'd be a fucking billionaire by now.

HERE ARE THE LOTTERY NUMBERS FOR DD/MM/YYY

>>693725053

wow this

>>693725316
oh shit I would do this too

Girls you meet will think you're cute, like your big dick, and act like they are perfect for you, so you'll get laid, but all of your relationships will fail and you will and up spending the best years of your life in a deep depression unable to trust anyone you've known even for years.


Enjoy.

>>693725879
Go back to your feels threads

>>693723826
Don't fall for her. She will break your heart. Also, Ohio State wins the 2015 National Championship game

>>693726361
go back to >>>/b/

Warn everyone about the sjw outbreak

Here's the winning numbers to the drawing before the largest jackpot awarded in whatever year I think I could most benefit with it from and go start a business.

you're gay

>>693723826
Never go to /b/

>>693726076
lol, glad I'm not alone

itd be either
>dont touch alcohol
or
>always buy more drugs than you think you want

"Learn to speak up faggot"

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>>693725929

>>693724082
This is my as well. Got my Ged last December, the thing is embarrassing to look at. I'm in college pursuing a 4 year career always thinking that 4 years is a lot of time, and that if I drop a class it's over. I really just want to die, but I'm not brave enough to go for it. I feel empty.

Kill yourself now. It gets better, but what I had to go through to get to the other side was NOT worth it.

Don't drink that whole bottle of prune juice in one sitting. Prune juice is not just like any other juice. It's brown death in a bottle.

"Dude, you live in a Liberal state.
STOP TELLING THE TRUTH!"

>>693723826
dont go on 4chan

>>693723826

George W. Bush will win the 2000 presidential election because of idiots voting for Nader and shitty butterfly ballots in Florida, and he will then parlay terrorist attacks which destroy the WTC on September 11, 2001 into a new neoconservative militaristic regime which cripples the US and the world. Get to Florida and volunteer at Jewish centers to make sure the old Jews know how to properly vote for Al Gore.

>>693726763
You should feel embarrassed. GEDs are for farmers who aren't expected to ever do anything with their lives but labor. Colleges shouldn't even let you in with a GED, but most of them are so desperate for money now that they're even giving out fake degrees like doctorates in chiropractic.

>>693725053
>fuck
das me mane my teeth are fucked and i stilll dont brush everyday

Kill mom's bf before he beats the living shit out of the whole family and steals half our stuff

>>693727362
my teeth are fine it's just that I always had bad breath and it didn't help that I was also really annoying

Take the risks you set forth, they'll be worth it in the end.

Then I'd suck my own dick for the fuck of it.

>>693727330
You should see it, the paper is so cheap, so simple, and the worst thing is that they expect you to go to some sort of graduation or something like that. But what other options did I had? That was the faster.

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>>693723826
Stop stealing shit at best buy on the weekends. They catch on and your dumbass gets caught. Try to strike up a conversation with the qt goth chick in spanish class or any girl for that matter because you are still a virgin at 25 you idiot. Lydia doesn't care for you anymore

"Shoot up school become an hero life doesnt get any better"

>>693724159
Wow I was gonna say the same thing that and be nicer to mom

>>693725337
Hello friend.

I too am pursuing a degree in History. Tell me everything you know about the jobs in our field. What specifically so you hope to get job wise? Also, why not teach?

>>693725879
Thats sad anon. Jesus.

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>>693723826
kill yourself Dec. 13, 2015 at around 5:30 am.
show yourself mercy, be kind to yourself. you deserve this. no more pain. no more

>>693727330
I am in the 1% (income north of 250k). I have a job which involves handling the finances of a mjaor corporation, (well a portion of anyway) and am 10 years on the job now. Got my GED last year. Somehow I am not in the least embarassed.

>>693727030
Correction: "Dude, you live in a place with other human beings! Humans hate the truth!"

>>693723826
invest in bitcoin

>>693723826
When you turn 21.. the powerball lottery will have 800 million in it, and nobody has cracked it, the numbers are 8-18,8,3,5.. play those and fuck them hoes.

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>>693723826
To self,
>stop watching anime and "studying" Japanese. Focus on computers and engineering. Learn to code NOW, get serious about your studies, and stop caring what other kids think about you. Also, stick with AFJROTC, and willingly enlist after you graduate. You can take college courses while you're in, and get paid to do it.

>>693723826

Do not break up with Janet.

>>693727770
Your other option was to stay in highschool and get a diploma, unless you came to the country too late to get into high school. If you grew up here and just decided to get your instead of a diploma though that's pretty scuzzy unless the whole point was to get out of high school early to begin your life of menial labor.

I mean, a GED is better than nothing. But literally everyone I know with one is a loser living on welfare or section 8 or something. It's great that you are going to college though. But like I said, they shouldn't let people with GEDs in. It's a huge insult to everyone else that actually graduated high school, just like how buying junk food with EBT is a huge insult to people that have real jobs and can't afford it.

>>693723826
Haymaker followed by "I'm you in the future. Stop being a bitch and do that to them."

>>693728293
Sounds a lot like you had opportunities that most people don't. I bet you're also not a dreadlocked stoner that sits on the couch all day either. Congratulation on your success, but in all seriousness, most people should be ashamed of their GED. Most people don't have anything else going for them and just use it as an easy way out of high school.

>>693724162
Keklz

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>>693723826
"You are gay, don't try to hide it"
I literally fucked up my life trying to be straight, I even had a GF and never enjoyed having sex
now I feel like I have been virgin all my life

>>693728293
What's your story? I'm hella curious now. How'd you do it? Luck? Skill? Murder? Blackmail? Metaphorical dick sucking? Literal dick sucking?

But seriously. What genius plan did you concoct?

Switch hands every other time 8~

>>693725879
Oh men...

>>693728869
I am extremely professional in appearance, no tattoos/piercings. But I didn't luck into the job or know someone. I am a great speaker and talked someone into giving me an opportunity and I'm great with numbers. I will say 10 years ago it was much easier to walk into a company and get an interview than it is now. Its basically inpossible without an online resume of some kind and had I been restricted to such, I would certainly have made your Big Mac this afternoon.

>>693729109
See>>693729379

>>693728293
Don't you know who he is? He worked for lord Strapon, testing his devices and providing feedback. Sure the working conditions were poor, but he got paid loads

>>693723826
In a year, she's lying when she says she's pregnant.

>>693723826
in your 3rd year of high school your parents will go out of town for the weekend. Don't go to your football practice or else you'll have to have surgery that will make your knees weaker than a 60 year old

>>693723826
see you next year

>>693729109
Also more info, I was 19 when hired. Currently 29

>>693726045
This tbh. Wasn't mega millions up into the multiple billions?

It gets worse kill yourself the day before your 15 bday

Leicester city win the premier league in 2015-16. Put the £1000 grandma gave you on it now!

>>693728399
* and withdraw Nov '13

>>693723826
always bring a condom

You're actually an attractive guy be more confident

>>693723826
Computers are the future, start studying.

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If I could tell my 14 year old self anything it would be "Read the filename"

Black Lives Matter

>>693730276
SHIT, DON'T READ IT

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>>693730261
$(this);

God how I regret not doing that.

"ryu ga waga teki wo kurau"

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Don't beat off so much, you'll run out of juice!

>>693723826
Save those dollars, save up a few grands.

Get into fitness.It's even harder with responsibilities on top. Appreciate the time left you have with your family. Don't fall for Devin; she'll only traumatize your view on relationships.

>>693730261
Could be? I mean, what will happen when someone programmed a computer that programs computers?

sleep a lot more, stay on the track of caring less, drink moderately until at least 18, continue not smoking cannabis until 18, complete gov II and latin IV in 12th grade and don't be afraid to quit karate AND scouts to do so, get your drivers license summer before 12th latest, when that faggot Hunter wants to see your notebook in the spring, immediately put it away and never let him see it, keep dad estranged and don't talk to him, the switch is in the attic above the master closet, and you will graduate valedictorian with a literal god tier GPA if you don't procrastinate quite as much as you would otherwise. also ALL of this is far more important than you think it is now.

2012 is real, you've only got 10 years to live so go nuts

>>693731450
OP said only 1 thing

just fucking be happy and don't be so fucking emo. Also run more! Appreciate everything.

>>693723826

rohypnol