I'm a cis white 31 year old male.

>>693467106
Fucking sexist pig.

>>693468019
>sexiest pig
You made a typo. All the pigs want me.

File: 1446119589179.jpg (12 KB, 294x273) Image search: [Google]

12 KB, 294x273

I've read about a guy who recently started eating beanut butter and I like it.

I started bouldering as a hobby and as an exercise and I quite enjoy it.

I'm going over to my girlfriend's tonight. Maybe.

I feel like I'm actually getting good at csgo

I'll be watching football tonight.

i met a girl i like today

>>693465838
I might have a job contract on Monday.

I just masturbated for the first time in over three months.

feelswutman

>>693465838
Try it with jam on toast bro

I have to start getting ready for work in about 15 minutes

I'm an archery champion and my country gives no shit about it cuz it's not football

File: VZM.IMG_20160701_004811.jpg (70 KB, 1440x1440) Image search: [Google]

70 KB, 1440x1440

>>693465838
I'm going to work tonight

>>693465838
I'm going home in two days, me and the mates are gonna have us a lil weed binge by the pool

>>693470340
Same here 5-12 :(

>>693469987
Good job! Talk to her more

File: UZIG2Rf.png (216 KB, 420x316) Image search: [Google]

216 KB, 420x316

I love being a barista. But I hate 75% customers.

I move into my new downtown studio apartment today. I've worked hard to get it and I'm pretty damn happy about it

I just lost my virginity 2 days ago

>>693470298
Compound?

my pants are halfway down and im about to go out for a doobie. but first i must do some stuff

>>693470667
Good way or bad way?

I just cooked a stew with potatoes, mushrooms lingonberries and moose meat.
Gonna take a nap after eating it.

I think I'm going crazy

>>693470667
nice

I'm a transgender in the closet.

>>693465838
I am unemployed for the first time since 13 years old. I am 26.

I can speak Swedish and Russian.

>>693470782
Why so serious?

>>693470298
Hunting or targets?

>>693465838
I stopped to have razor burn when I started to shave while showering. I had to wait 35 years of my life before doing it someone told me to do it. Because I was too dumb to think about it myself. Now I call those with razor burn dumbasses.

>>693469987
Pic?

>>693470069
What about wet dreams?

>>693470766

She's 16, petite, and so tight that she couldn't even take my dick without lube. I'll let you decide if that's good way or bad way

>>693470138
What jam? And two of those things at once?

>>693470667
Did it hurt when he penetrated you?

>>693470910

Poor brazilian.

>>693470298
Damn that is sad. Good job anyways!

>>693471337
that response is leet af

>>693470585
That is why I as a customer always try to smile and be nice, cause I know lots of others are just grumpy or plain dicks

>>693470776
Sounds incredible anon, did you hunt the moose yourself?

>>693470782
Why is that?

>>693471925
Yes sir, been an active hunter since the early 90's.
Moose is the basic food in my life.

>>693470776
Moose meat? Canadian? I wonder how it tastes like...

I see a thread full of fags.

I own 8 cars all over 40,000 USD ...
I randomly pick a car to drive everyday. Everyone thinks I'm a drug dealer. I'm just lucky I guess... Mom and Dad left me more money than I could ever spend in my life time. My kids and there kids will never have to work real jobs.

>>693471012
Well i sometimes cut myself a little bit on a chin while shaving. Does this also help? And how is it superior to shaving cream?

>>693471244
I guess bad? But you still got laid. Nice dubs btw

I'm a pathetic fucking faggot whos trying to make a tulpa due to lonlieness but I'm also too much of a piece of shit to follow through and work on her every day which causes me to resent myself.

>>693472534
Yeah that's pathetic

>>693472534
You gotta work work work on her hairy hairy pussy.

>>693472285
Don't make them richcunts just by doing nothing. These are the worst kind of kids...

>>693472534
Any progress in creating one?

>>693472365
Try it by the end of your shower. The hair is softened by the moisture and hot temp. Use regular soap and a small mirror. Babyface guaranteed. Razor will last months too.

I can solve a Rubik's cube in under 20 seconds.

can some1 tell me where can I get xcom 2?
piratebay seems disappointing

>>693473091
still pretty early on, but i think ive gotten some emotional responses.
I wouldnt be surprised if I ended up getting early progress, before I started making her a tulpa this started out as just constant, obsessive daydreaming about her.

>>693473129
I usually shave after shovering, I also keep a bowl of water next to me to keep my face wet, i guess that's good enough?

>>693473286
I couls do this in few minutes some time ago, but I've already forgotten. Nice.

>>693465838
I have razor burn

>>693473527
How long does it last already?

>>693473891
how long does what last?

>>693474010
Making tulpa. For how long are you trying to create one already?

I've recently been diagnosed w IBS, feelsbadman

I'm engaged to my fiancée and we have a baby on the way.
PogChamp

>>693472147
Nope I'm Swedish. Moose taste like deer but a lot more dark if that makes sence. More wild.
I love it.

>>693474114
I started just over two weeks ago.

>>693470946
No inglese?

Im 18 LP from getting in Promotion to gold in League of Legends, yay me!

File: maxresdefault.jpg (64 KB, 1280x720) Image search: [Google]

64 KB, 1280x720

I'm gay.

>>693473741
cant be better than DURING the shower. Top moisture achieved.

I just got destroyed by a troll team in OW as 5 Torbs and a Mei, feels bad man

>>693474353
I have never eaten a deer though. Any other animal you can compare it to?

>>693465838
I haven't brushed my teeth yet today

>>693474392
Then you are doing good. Keep it up, just don't regret it later

>>693474858
Alright, gonna try it soon, thanks

I'm in the shitter at work on /b/

I'm a Transgendered asshole that hates my current highschool friend group

I dont know if I should pick up WoW again

I just started playing paragon and I like it

I'm straight and I fucked another dude. I'm a bit like spaghetti you see, I am straight, but when I get hot I will start to bend all over the place. As in when I'm horny I will fuck anyone. But it was great he grabbed my a's and I got a wicked boner, I grabbed his bulge, I gave him a handjob and then he fucked my ass. Was great. I have a girlfriend tho so.

i think it's funny that the american cops shot another black guy, i enjoy watching the shitstorm on tv while i'm under the blanket at home safe

keep being cunts, high entertainment value bois

>>693465838
I like to dip pretzels in mayonnaise but I think it looks gross so I keep it a secret and would make fun of anyone else that did it.

>>693469342

me too

Found my gf of two years sleeping another guy. Left her and the apartment, back living with my dad at the age of 25. Plan on going back to school however have no drive to do anything. Feels bad man.

I'm pretty good at running off of no sleep

>>693475069
I have now brushed my teeth

>>693475423
>riend group
The thing that you're not old enough to realize, is that just 10+ years ago there would have been no "transgendered" and certainly no "friend group" for you. You would have just been a kid that perpetually got his ass kicked until some closet-fag teacher defended you because he wanted to fuck you. Shit is pretty good for you (comparatively).

And no...I wan't the earlier version of you...But I was the "My Bodyguard"-style protector of my cousin who was the 90's version of you. (Now dead - suicide.)

im 30 I drink 7-9 beers every night 10-12 on the weekends I want stop but don't know how, also I haven't drank a soft drink in almost 4 weeks, Im sad most times and don't know why.

>>693475305
Best thing you can do at work m8

My mom works at Applebees. Also I just tried sardines on a pizza for the first time and they were disgusting

>>693475523
Isn't it kind of a dead game now?

>>693475689
>why girls don't want to date bisexual men

>>693465838
What the fuck is going on on the right hand side of that picture?
Is that your skin?

>>693470667
How old r u?29?

>>693475689
Willing to fuck anything doesn't make you straight

I came out to my girlfriend about being a pedo

>>693465838

I hate all humans

>>693476085
Are sardines and anchovies related? I suppose in the grand scheme of things they are but only anchovies should go on a pizza.

the only small dogs i like are pugs

>>693476300
Don't lie fag, you like someone.

I haven't done any real work the past three days and I got paid overtime for it.

>>693476291
Cont

File: cottaging.jpg (53 KB, 374x561) Image search: [Google]

53 KB, 374x561

Twice I've gone to the building across the street from my office and gotten a blowjob in the lobby men's room.

>>693476098
dying on a death bed, but its fun i guess

i should be off work today, but i'm covering someone's shift

>>693476338
basically the same thing. small fish cured with salt

>>693476380
These motherfuckers are ugly as hell and they are a genetic failure. What is there to like?

>>693465838
I exist

>>693476031
sorry to hear that about your cousin, but it wasn't like that at all. I guess I'm one of those guys who don't come out completely till their 35. my friend group is shit personality wise and sense of morality. but I do have people outside of highschool who I would take a bullet for. I would too for my highschool buds, but I doubt they would be grateful.

File: 1467081270343.jpg (19 KB, 400x300) Image search: [Google]

19 KB, 400x300

>>693476291

>>693476545
that's why i like them. they look like they were a complete mistake and it's hilarious. also they're dumb as hell

>>693465838
I ship produce for a living

>>693465838
I haven't had jack in the box for a year or two and I'm craving a plain chicken sandwich with only lettuce, large fries, and 2 of their shitty tacos.

SO I'm going to get that in an hour

File: image.png (7 KB, 645x773) Image search: [Google]

7 KB, 645x773

>>693465838
My parents are separated
When I was 15 or 16 me and my mother went to live with this man.
At first he was Ok, but then I understood he was only an ignorant cynical retard who only cares about money.
My mother started thinking the same, but she always refused to live.
Now I'm 18, but my life isn't better.
I can't leave, because I don't have any money (I'm an High School student)
and my hatred is growing every day

I'm an hourly employee making $50/hr who leaves work anywhere from 45 minutes to 3 hours early every day while entering 9 hours/day 5 days/week on my time card for the last 5 years. AMA

>>693476780
literally the worst tacos in the world

>>693476512
You still get paid for it and will get a day off later, right?

I love wearing sandals.

>>693476661
Well then have fun kek

Last shift tonight before i am off work until monday, also watching football tonight.

>>693476794
I've done the same. Feels good man.

File: 1465647891069.jpg (205 KB, 476x590) Image search: [Google]

205 KB, 476x590

>>693476789
Hang in there anon, it will get better

I recently met a really nice girl and we've been on a couple of dates, but I don't know if she will be a good gf, because she is too damn passive.

I'm a new fag and I'm ashamed to tell people I know irl that I browse 4chan.

>>693476930
yessir, he's taking my monday shift next week to return the favor

i usually don't eat for like 3 or 4 hours after waking up

File: 001.png (149 KB, 225x247) Image search: [Google]

149 KB, 225x247

>>693465838
I've been putting off doing my dishes for a week.

True story.

I have started reading more and am also slowly getting better at binding of Isaac

im sometimes think im jesus because i am so good...but im too lazy to change the world ...

>>693465838
I lost the oportunity to get my drivers license bcuz ima lazy fuck

i like to jack off with a condom on cause i'm a virgin and it makes me feel more like i'm having sex

I'm somehow keeping a positive mindset for the longest time in forever, making me feel like I should take steps to advance in life before I lose it and end up anxious and/or depressed again.

>>693477332
Same here I know its important but I find it really hard to eat In the morning so my lunch is my breakfast

I have a swastika tattoo

>>693477498
I thought this once, then I realized I'm a btard and fap daily. Then on the other hand, his disciples were all huge sinners trying to improve themselves as well (I am trying).

But yea, just a good person

>>693477577
what do you mean you lost the opportunity? what's stopping you from getting it now?

>>693470340
The most important thing is that you love what you do.

File: Karl_Marx.jpg (980 KB, 1280x1500) Image search: [Google]

980 KB, 1280x1500

>>693470046
congrats faggot


>>693465838
i recently became a marxist

I used to be horribly depressed but now I have horrible anxiety but I guess it beats depressed

>>693473876
Dumbass

>>693465838
i like peanut butter and sauteed onion sammiches

>>693476461
with random strangers? how do you engage? who/when/how etc?

>>693477683
money in general, i was too lazy to go and finish the courses that were already paid and now i need to renew my contract

>>693465838
I'm trying to get my gf to swallow

File: 1413214147877.gif (480 KB, 141x141) Image search: [Google]

480 KB, 141x141

>>693471012
>>693472365
I have always shaved in the shower since I was a teenager. i'm 37 now. It's really the only way to do it.

I have a fog-less mirror that I have suctioned to the middle of the shower wall, face height. The benefit to shaving in the shower is the steam and hot water soften your skin and open your pore so the blade doesn't harm you at all. I wash my hair first so the water and the steam can do their thing on my face before I shave.

Good on you anon. I tell people I have always shaved in the shower and they look at me like I'm crazy.... they have no idea.

>>693477910
eat lots of pineapple. makes your cum sweet

>>693477284
you are not supposed to tell people you browse 4chan that's the whole fucking point, especially /b/

rules 1,2 ,etc.

>>693477802
So you want to fuck your sister?

>>693477595
Are you me?
Did I post this?

I haven't took a shower in over 4 days, because I bought a new game.

>>693477638
timestamp proof

File: 1467756762292.webm (212 KB, 640x360) Image search: [Google]

212 KB, 640x360

>>693476789
Stfu and get a job and start saving. We all have problems but blaming our Status Quo on somebody else is always a losers excuse no matter how bad ones Situation is.

File: 1462491400489.png (2 MB, 960x720) Image search: [Google]

2 MB, 960x720

>>693476789

>>693473025
this OP
Please teach them just values

>>693477394
Lol ive made the same for a month. Also didn't shit for a week

>>693478121
that's really disgusting....

you have to make it obligatory like brushing and flossing twice a day or else you will regret it EXTREMELY much when you have matured

trust me anon

I have no motivation

>>693477284
jeebuz christ never tell normies about te chins

>>693469208
I saw a guy misspell peanut

>>693472268
I see b8

>>693477330
It's alright then

File: 1412871646625.jpg (11 KB, 212x232) Image search: [Google]

11 KB, 212x232

>>693476044
>Im sad most times and don't know why.
the alcohol is keeping you from being happy. Trust me I know. I can kill a 750 of vodka every night for about 4-5 days, but then have to stop cause it takes a toll. I get more sad, unmotivated, etc. once I stop and don't have a drink for about 3 days, I"m cheerful as fuck... I just love drinking though... it fucking sucks. Try stopping for a week just to see what happens.

>>693477394
Pic

File: 14679153936021520351036.jpg (2 MB, 3920x2204) Image search: [Google]

2 MB, 3920x2204

>>693478145

>>693477802
Jew please...

>>693478377
Thanks man, but it is also because of school. I have 2 tests everyday, so it is kind of hard to plan shit.

>>693465838
Sometimes I like to push the back end of a pencil against my forehead because it feels good

>>693478338
Guess it's not as easy to raise someone well as it may seem

I met god

>>693471244
That's good by all accounts

>>693475234
Don't mention it. Just say "dumbass" to all the idiots with razor burn in the future.

>>693478595
Wow, shit. Do you have a reason for that tattoo? Were you drink, or did you do it because you support Hitler?

>>693478410
>>693478071
This is why I'm a newfag

File: 1411489807860.jpg (23 KB, 470x313) Image search: [Google]

23 KB, 470x313

>>693478350
oh geez, i couldn't wait a week.

When I was a kid, I waited 4 fucking weeks to shit. The last time I had gone it had hurt so bad I was scared to go. So my entire summer vacation was ruined cause I was sick from being all bottled up, afraid to shit out of fear of pain.

Eventually my family caught on and my grandmother pumped me so full of laxative pills, Metamucil drinks, etc.

I exploded like a fucking rocket and had to flush the toilet 3 damn times until it was all out of me.

File: 039485098345.jpg (36 KB, 611x458) Image search: [Google]

36 KB, 611x458

>>693465838
I hate cooking anything and I can't figure out a decent diet without cooking. Fuck.

>>693478595
Oh shit waddup

>>693478956
dude just eat a bag of carrots and bread or some shit no prep required, and moderately healthy

>>693478023
I gave up on fogless mirrors. I just use a cheap mirror that a spritz once with that daily shower cleaner stuff right when I start my shower. That keeps it from fogging up. If traveling, I'll just put a little bit of lathered up shampoo foam on it to stop it from fogging. The shower cleaner stuff works the best tho.

>>693478867
Is it some kind of a secret?

File: 1453820707761.jpg (95 KB, 785x666) Image search: [Google]

95 KB, 785x666

>>693478868
Because OP fucking delivers

>>693476516

Not the same thing at all. Anchovies are expensive as fuck and can be put on pizzas. Sardines not.

File: image.png (866 KB, 750x1334) Image search: [Google]

866 KB, 750x1334

>>693465838
What is that

File: 0702161618.jpg (230 KB, 1280x800) Image search: [Google]

230 KB, 1280x800

I have very hyper flexible fingers.

>>693479185
seconded

>>693479099
yeah that's true, I have to wipe mine off with soap every shower anyways.

>>693465838
My left side of my body is bigger than the right on 99% of me

>>693479134
Nice man, do you regret it though?

I'm an 18 virgin flyweight mma fighter. I'm leaving to college in august. And i feel like killing myself everyday, only fighting takes the edge off

>>693479353
Also my right side is the dominant one even though it's retarded.

I really, really, really like mustard.

>>693479359
Not in the slightest, it's a great conversation starter

File: gonzomuppet.jpg (297 KB, 1070x1302) Image search: [Google]

297 KB, 1070x1302

>>693479263
HOLT FUCK... you had is a god damn living muppet!

>>693477394
been there done taht

>>693474130
I feel you brother. I have that and Im lactose intolerant. I can't eat without explosive shitting some time later :(

>>693479263
Enjoi carpel tunnel

File: 0702161626.jpg (226 KB, 1280x800) Image search: [Google]

226 KB, 1280x800

>>693479506
Is it?

>>693479435
Edgy
Show the girls your fighting skills someday, the pussy will swarm, trust me

>>693479185
Third'ed
is that some kind of weird bread? or do have some awful skin disease?

I fantasise about choking my gf to death while we fuck, thing is she actually likes it

>>693479623
Fuuuuuuck that looks so wrong

>>693465838
I got the rainbow chest in gungeon today and then the game crashed, i legit broke my pinky by punching in the wall, i'm writing this from a hospital.

>>693479615
I don't have carpal tunnel or arthritis. I rarely fuck around with my fingers like this because it can fuck up my joints but I have the capabilities of doing some weird ass things with my hands.

>>693479802
So it's a win - win, just don't actually kill her

>>693478277
Kek
I'm not an American
In Italy it's not that simple, when you attend university, you can get a job, but while you're at High School it's almost impossible.
Anyway, my mother needs me, and I can't leave her alone until the situation is so difficult

File: quintessential gondola.jpg (43 KB, 960x719) Image search: [Google]

43 KB, 960x719

>>693469843
me neither :-DD

>>693479884
Awfully tempting
Hot as fuck doe

>>693465838
i lost my virginity when i was eight

>>693478392
Even those who accomplish great things all the time say that. Because they could have done a bit more but they didn't do it. We all say that.

I'm bald

>>693479945
pictures my friend... pictures. you can just cock tease us like that.

I have started playing BioShock again. Less of a pussy after I lowered the SFX volume.

>>693479945
Well it's a one time offer, so be careful

I tried sucking dick the other day and liked it

>>693479263
ever considered get in touch with Stan Lee

>>693479952
Cont?

>>693465838

I'm a fagit.

>>693479824
you take your gaming too seriously and need to chill out. I see anger management classes in your future.

I gamed in the era of the original Nintendo, ya know, when games were actually hard and super repetitive to accomplish anything. I never hit a wall or a tv. I had friends that did, and they all have serious issues now.

>>693480314
>get in touch with Stan Lee
>stan makes him superhero
>"Finger Folding man Vs The Avengers"

I've continued with my meditation journey using Headspace. Reminded me why I started in the first place.

>>693465838
Whenever a female comes over to mine and my gf's place, I disable the flush mechanism on the toilet, so I can collect whatever the female leaves behind.

Feels good man.