Your father

>>693450140
your mom

used to get into a lot fist fights. my record was getting into at least one fight for 11 consecutive weekends. had quite the rep for awhile there.

who the fuck keeps a log of this shit? it's like asking "when's the last time you blew your nose?"

go outside and start picking up some heavy things, pussy. get that test up and you won't sit around on your mom's ipad posting this horseshit all day.

I told my mom to FUCK OFF

>>693450140

kicked a cunt out of my car at 2am on saturday night so i could go home to his gfs place to fuck her (she was in the car)

Burned my neighbours tree

>>693450747
That's not alpha, you're just a disrespectful faggot.

MODS

>>693450140
had a 3some with two victorias secret models

>>693450685
Beta detected

>>693450787
it's a yolk you twit

>>693450140
drink redbull at midnight.

>>693450795
And then you woke up

>>693450140
I had started a summer job workin in the stock room of a drugstore. There was this spergy/arrogant douche and another spergy guy working with me. The douche made a comment to the other guy about me being an idiot thinking he was being funny. Obviously I didn't like it but I brushed it off. He followed it up with another comment about me being an idiot, this time loud as if he was telling a great joke that everyone should hear. He was standing literally beside me as we were working in the same shelf in the stock room.i turned to him this time and said "don't call me an idiot". Shortly after he made another comment to his friend in reference to something I said, saying something like "oh, the idiot is tryin to sa-"

I turned to him, got right into his chest, and shoved him. He fell backwards into a pile of crates, knocking them over himself and crumpling to the ground. I stood over him as he stuttered "I-I-I'm s-s-sorry".

I bent over him as he put his hands up feebly to protect himself, shaking. His construction helmet had shifted during the fall so it was sitting lop sided in his head. As he lay shaking under the pile of crates he looked very much like a child.

I said again "don't call me an idiot" to which he said "o-o-ok". I left him in the ground in the stock room and went upstairs.

I try as much as possible to brush things off when people are rude, but this felt so empowering.

I am alpha so cant really pinpoint 1 thing

>>693450943

absolute madman

Fucked a guys wife in front of him and my girlfriend

>>693451097
I must say, I'm really proud of myself.

Took a poop in the ladies room

>>693451254
Lol

>>693450635
i will add that in one of my fights i knocked out a big ole guy whose nickname was "Animal". and he was called that for good reason. girls in the bar renamed him "Pet" after i beat him down.

Talk to girls and not care what happens

dress extremely flamboyantly and not care what people say

I ono, its not hard really

>>693451376
If you're getting into fights so regularly you're retarded, a denegerate, and probably an asshole.

>be me
>in high school dropping my brother off at the middle school
>pulling out of the parking lot, not paying attention
>accidentally back into this shitty white car in front of me
>old Mexican birch gets out of the car and walks toward me
>roll down the window and say "sup?"
>she looks at her bumper, turns around gets back in her shItty car and drives away

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Fucked my ex and her twin sister, when I already had a new gf. Their parents walked into us, I said: "They'll come in a second."

>>693450635
sounds like you were a real douche bag

>>693450140
put a fucker in sleep with a slap!!!

>>693451488
ru homo

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>>693450747
She squeezed your fat ass out.

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I sometimes chew on toothpicks while i'm at conventions.

>>693450140
How many more fat people do you think Murricaburger can support before it collapses into the ocean?

>>693451597
nah just a badass

>>693451973
i'll respond to your reply in a second, i have to use the bathroom
brb

>>693451491
>>693451570
nah. back in high school and college i just really enjoyed fist fights. most of my fights were over girls or pool games. but, yeah, sometimes i started them just because i wanted to. whatever. those days are past for me now. /sigh

My gf broke up with me so i went and fucked a bunch of her friends and beat the shit out of the kid she started talking to afterwards.
There was this kid that was talking shit to me begind my back, and a bunch of ppl didn't like him and they gave me the go ahead, so when he was at graduation i robbed his house and got away with it, someone told me he cried.
Told a kid i wasn't going to rob him, then robbed him for 2 grand.
Ive gotten a bunch of women to fuck me within 10 minutes of meeting them just by conversation.
I know there's more than one and some of them are just shitbag moves but that's who i used to be.

>>693452524
sounds like you're a walking piece of shit

Got married

>>693452524
How is robbing people alpha?

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>>693450140
Everything

>>693452701

he said alpha not suicide

>>693452864
>tips le fedora
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XHa8ikoNy3I

>>693450140
Went on the disney channel website without my parent's permission

>>693451565
more pics?

>>693450140
I clubbed a guy for talking shit to my gf
Got convicted for an assault charge

>>693450140
Knocked up a 32 year old woman when I was 17 and never paid any support.

>>693450140
peed in a girls mouth without her consent

>>693453163
thats not alpha thats just you being a pussy

>>693453163
That isn't alpha, just is just being a nigger

>>693452966
nothing wrong getting married and procreate, as long as you marry a chick who's a traditionalist and not a liberal nutcase

I used to new a selector for a frozen food department. Would drink 3 big ass screw too rockstars per day. 180 pounds of ass woop. Go to house I crash at frequently. stange available every night. Guy I can't stand fucking with friends sister. He hits her and I crush him with one handed body slam. Faggot crumbles and sobs curled, wrenching in pain. Spit on him then take friends sister into bedroom and fuck all night.

Once shaved my balls and my butthole

>>693453462
wut

Stayed past my bedtime to play Pokemon on my gameboy

>>693450755
That's just being a shitty friend

>be working at gas station
>late at night
>two shitheads come in
>one pulls a knife on me
>tells me to give him the money
>tell them to get out of here before they get hurt
>flex my muscles to intimidate them
>guy stabs me and takes the money
>get fired next day

>>693453565
Auto correct Is a bitch

Fucked a girl at a party while her boyfriend was upstairs. He came down while we were at it, but i just said fuck off m8, and kept going. Eventually had to stop cus he was crying, killed the mood.

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>>693452310

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>>693453811
He probably wanted to join and was crying cause you said fuck off

>>693453293
>>693453355
She was married. I actually wanted to be a part of the kids life but was denied. I was 17, her husband made six digits, I lost.

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>>693453999
Check'ed dat shit

>>693453462
mad times in Slovakia

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One time thought about shaving my head

Don't remember if i did it or not

>>693453653
More alpha than I'll ever be

> be me
> Hanging out with some people
> Hanging at my usual Friday night location
> Be drinking some
> Dude is talking of huge game. Talking about bitches he's fucked, talking about shit he's done. Just being annoying in general.
> Tell the dude "Buddy I don't think you did any of that. You're making that shit up and you know it."
> Dude gets pissy at me, He had been drinking too probably.
> He tells me "Pussy keep talking you don't shit about me."
> Tell him if he's not careful I'm gonna be outside his house ready to burn that motherfucker down.
> He ignores and keeps making an ass of himself.
> Someone bets him to do something.
> He doesn't do it, after talking himself up so much
> I get fed up with his shit. I say "OP YOU'RE A FAGGOT!"
> All this was on 4chan.
> I actually called OP a faggot. I really did
> Told my mom I got some mean guy kicked off the internet.
> She was proud.
> Alpha.

fucked two different girls in the same day, one in the morning, one at night

i made a generic post on 4chan about how someone's mother will die in their sleep if they dont respond to my post, heh, i sure showed them

>>693454199
Funny, I am Slovak by heritage, but I am from Florida.

I used to live in a shitty neighborhood. One time I went for a ride on my long board at about midnight. I was on the left side of the road and some dude came up behind me and laid on the horn to fuck with me. I yelled "what the fuck? ". He backed up and asked me what I said. He was a fuck so I said "you're a fat fuck". Him and the passenger started to get out to fight me. I caught the driver in the face with the tail of my board. Passenger came around the back and took a full baseball swing to the face. Driver was starting to get back so I kicked him in the leg, then I checked their pockets and took all their money. About sixty bucks. The news reported it as a brutal mugging and cited a charity for passenger dudes facial reconstruction.

I told my girlfriend that i had a fantasy of her younger cousin giving me a handjob
I told her i was going to make it a reality
she said she would leave me
Fuck you I'm going to do it

fast forward a few weeks
swimming at her cousins house
cousin went into the house to get something from her room
i followed her
i told her i wanted her to jerk me off
and i pulled my dick out

she asked me if i was joking
told her my dick wouldnt be out if i was

she looks at the door
says real quick
grabbed my dick and gave a handjob

was easier than i thought
turns out she was a slut on the down low

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My girlfriend got pissed at me for whatever reason. So instead of back down even though she was right I started yelling even louder at her about all the bullshit she put me through. And then she apologized too me.

>>693454545
Stopped reading after "went for a ride on my long board"

Jesus fuck

I tricked my sis into jerking me off when I was 11. She was 5.

Used to jerk off in the kitchen while my mom was a few ft away in the other room.

Licked my mom's still wet dildo.

Blackmailed some bitch who cheated on me to do sexual things for me whenever I asked, otherwise I'd mail her nudes to her family. She did for a while then got angry one time and I showed her mom what an innocent little slut she is. She hasn't done that again.

Broke some guy's jaw in a fight when I was 10.

Arrested for assault 3 times.

Taken shits in people's back gardens.

Jerked off in class

Stole my mom's car when I was 14

That's all I can think of right now.

>>693454667
Gonna try this with my mom

>>693451029
fake and gay
kys

>>693454704
What a hard mother fucker

>>693453356

I cannot argue with this
good luck in life anon

>>693454748
How old is your mom's younger cousin?

>>693454708
It's actually a good story.

>>693450140
bank loans

>>693454856
11

>>693454732
Alpha, anon. Not autistic.

Once told a girl who worked at a movie theater that we should hang out sometime in an airy, breathless voice because I was nervous. She was like 'hell naw I'm busy after work' but was polite about it. Most awkward moment of my life to date.

Another time I straight up told a girl I liked her. Over text of course cause I'm not a madman. She declined as well.

Stories of my life.

>>693450140
threw a 400+ persons party with literally 0€ and received free cocaine, booze and kisses all night

too wasted to fuck tho

>>693454923
Since when is licking my mom's dildo autistic?

>>693455031
Can't go wrong with kisses

>>693455049
Wow I guess you are autistic

>>693455138
I think you're just jealous you never got to lick your mom's pussy juices off her dildo.

>>693455138
Someones an idiot...

>>693455031
whats a €

>>693455380
>whats a €
it's like reddit karma points in real life

>>693453963
Lol what is this

>>693450140

Two girls within an hour of each other, in their beds.

It was a part of a 2 year affair I had with them. Neither of them knew of the other the entire time, or afterwards.

>>693450140
i have been lover of girl as this girl of pic, she are not so beatiful in the morning

>>693455694
Thats a dude

>>693455554
Obviously, it's a Dad Party.

>>693450140
any guy that has to call himself an alpha is really a spineless retard

>>693450140
i had a 5some with 4 russian girls, one of whom was a legit model

>>693450140
i shot a man in reno. just to watch him die.

Most people here think hit people, and degrade them is alpha. You all bunch of beta. Soo sad.

> Be me 2.5 years ago, 26 yo, summer.
> Runnin back to my birth city, with best friends that came to visit me me from hundred miles.
> Driving my buddy's car because they're so slow and being mad at them for that.
> Party once we arrived, at a friend's house.
> Still in a pretty mad mood, grab a beer and anger and say hello to the people there.
> Spotted one lady, dark hair, very nice, big brain.
> Begin telling stories on the patio to people, make them laugh, all around me, smoking pot, asking for beer, and listening to lads laughs, fucking enjoying.
> Spotted the girl spots me.
> bitch comes in, eyes are sayin " not easy but worth it, man "
> Keep pretending im on myself, don't need anything, and certainly not nasty clever bitches.
> Finally later she invites me to go with her friend to nighclub.
> Go with her, take free bike.
> This is the YLYL part : runnin with her side by side on bicycles, pretend i go on left and hit her.
> Bitch comes over the bike like superwoman and hit the ground heavy and loud. Knee in blood.
> On the way i bring back her bag wich was 10m back on road.
> Introducing me into hard mode level of the game.. shit.
> Keep on going, we walk..
> Get at night club, have a brief argue with security about stupid shit.
> Breakdanced on the floor with guys that does it really well..ended up with backflip ..
> Chicks go to other man, and begin to act like she is trying to make me pay my move.
> I don't give a fuck because her friend boobs are on my head..
> Nearly remember i woke up in her bed at mornin
> Months later, buddy say we can call her and meet because im single at the moment. Ok.
> Finally, meet up with her in a bar, talk, drink, no knees issues this time.
> Tells me that she had her arm broked after that night, yes, because of me.
> Finally decided to go to my friends house to continue.
> Buddies go in the only room so i can fuck her.

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>spent the whole weekend as alistar and made it to silver

>>693456134
It was an experience trying to read that.

this one time a girl smiled at me

>>693450140
My very first gf had never given head before, she was scared of getting cum in her mouth, I came down her throat against her will and she became addicted to cum, turned from an asexual shy girl to a nympho. Spent the next 3 years fucking like rabbits, did everything with her, she didn't like anal then one night at her bosses house I shoved my dick up her ass held her down and fucked it like a pussy she came so hard shaking and screaming after that she craved anal almost everytime we had sex she would even ride me in her ass when she was on her period, got damn those where some good times. And she was hot too, like a 10/10.

>>693450140
>At the cinema
>Buying a ticket
>'Enjoy the movie, sir!'
>'Y-y-you too.'

In that moment, I was king amongst men.

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fucked 3 married girls, they were my first 3 girls I had sex with. I was 18 still in college

>>693456614
10/10 social interaction accomplished

>>693456762
Keepin it in the family huh

i regularly traveled to 3rd world countrys for backpacking when i was 18-22. I would make the local girls i could be their ticket to a live like they see on american Tv. Then i fucked them raw and ditched them. I think i hqve some children around the globe

Lol

When I was 22, I had a three-year relationship with a 14 year old girl (it's legal in my country). She was a dancer and a cheerleader. Prettiest girl I've ever fucked.

>>693456614
>>693456825

I've fucking lost my sides

>>693456966
wtf is your country then ?

>>693450140
been the leader of a wolf pack

>>693450140
Punched a cop in the face in front of 2 dozen cops.

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>>693456614
Had a similar experience with my neighbor the other day
>Neighbor said Hello
>responded with "Good, thanks"

>>693450140
>friend is super beta
>over the course of high school like this one girl
>end of highschool he finally asks her out, she says yes
>2 weeks later I fuck her at a party, ruining the relationship...

>>693450635
Nice. Did you start shit on purpose or were the ass killings deserved?

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Why don't they just execute cannabis users? This would solve the drug problem?

>>693450140
maybe bulls run in acores islands. while in pamplona you have to run away from bulls, there works that you have to go to the bull and make it as angry as possible. did 3 runs and shit was cash

>>693450140

I picked up an empty can of pop off the ground and threw it in the garbage.

a guy with his gf saw me doing it and he thanked me for it.

>>693450140

Sucked a big black dingus after leg day. Squats and cocks, you betas.

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>>693450140
my gut is getting so big i can almost fuck it with my dick.

>>693453620
He never said it was his friend

>>693450140
this
http://bit.
ly/29hweTe

Probably fucking someone else when I was with my ex, who then had some kind of issue and wanted to see me immediately. I didn't have time to shower, so I drove to see her - which led to her sucking me and us having sex.

I wonder if she really didn't notice anything, but then again I didn't really care.

Lets see, I've shared a few of these before, but never saved them, so I gotta write it all out.

.Martial arts fag

True beta in my teens, bullied in grade and middle school. Found my calling in Jiu Jutsu (Taijutsu to be exact). Still beta but gained a lot of confidence in early 20s and morphed into an alpha over the period of a year around 22. Was maybe 165, but could dance, and had ridiculous confidence thanks to my martial training.

So it was a typical night at my favorite dance club. This was in the mid to late 90s, and the place was hopping. I was dancing my ass off as normal, and catching the eye of several women. I see a decent looking middle eastern looking chick, and decided since I had never been with one, tonight was the night.

Ease up next to her on the dance floor. We dance a couple of songs. I flash my six pack abs (I'm 42 so I don't have those anymore) while I'm "drying" some sweat off my brow. (Shameless method of showing off my midsection). Dancefloor is multi level, so we move to the next higher level. Dance another couple of songs.

Imagine what Bruce Lee would look like with long black hair and was a roid freak. Got a picture of it in your mind? So that was her on again off again boyfriend who decided to join us on stage. He tried to cut in but she wasn't having it. Dj does a few announcements and I tell her to go grab me a beer. As she heads off towards the bar, I sit down on the edge of the stage and here comes Bruce.

>>693457731
Dude do you think i'm clicking that

I'm an alpha

Don't really know.

Held my ground in a mugger attempt against four guys until they gave up. This happened more than once - glad nothing serious ever came out of it.

Some random was annoying a cute acquaintance at a party, pushed over the guy (not violently or anything) and start hooking up with her. Guy just went away without saying anything.

Managed to calm down, befriend, whatever, lots of dogs considered very agressive that were loose.

>>693457833
"Thats my girl", he says.

"Doesnt seem that way to me". I reply. "She didn't seem all that into you".

"Yeah well, she's going home with me tonight."

This is the Alpha male call out, for those of you who don't recognize it.

I coolly look at him and say, "No she's not. She's going home with me and there's not a damn thing you can do about it."

He eyes me hard, probably because he's never been challenged, "Dude, I'm literally twice your size."

"That won't make a difference if you try to get physical".

The whole time, I'm keeping my voice calm, and nonplussed, hardly looking at him. This seems to shake his confidence quite a bit.

"You... you're serious?" he stammers.

I just look at him right in the eye, without a speck of fear. A slight twinge in my brow.

He says, "Dude, I like you. I've never had anyone stand up to me before. Let me buy you a beer."

"Well, she just went to get us both one, but I'll take a Bud"

True to my word, took her home that night, came on her face, and back. She told me how hot it made her that I didn't back down. Girls are weird like that, they say they want us to be sensitive, but often get aroused by displays of alpha prowess.
Anyway, bitch ended up having a deviated septum. Snored like a god damn freight train. I didn't sleep until she left the next day. Ended up seeing her boyfriend the next week and asked why he didn't warn me. We both laugh.

>>693450140
My dad remarried and i fucked his wifes sister, niece and 6 of her friends within the first year of their marriage

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>>693457913
Dude don't brag about bestiality

Told this redneck pussy man I was coming to take his home and wife and to get his clothes and gtfo.

When I got there I told him to leave. He left.

Damn bitch wasn't worth that shit.

>>693457864
pfft.
if you were an alpha you'd check it out

>>693456945
Stories. Ever make them do degrading stuff?

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>>693453073
Even though they told you that you needed their permission?!?! Madman..

Made a beautiful girl my gf and fuck her hard :)

>>693457960
Did you guys tip your fedoras together

>>693458093
Sorry bro. Still lots of angry dogs/bitches.

>>693456966
ohhh, hahaha

>>693458072
Did you complete the circle and fuck your dad and his wife?

>>693450140
fucked all the bitches in an office I provide tech support for. thats, a 47,40,35 and 23 year old. 2 are married. One is married to a guy in the same office.

>>693457960
I have a lot of alpha stories like this. I might have something wrong with me, because I tend to show no fear when the odds are not in my favor. The weirdest thing is, in some situations I get shaky, nervous, twitchy, voice cracking, until its time to "go". Then I'm calm, and cool. No fear, no remorse.

Not sure whats wrong with me.

>>693458315
kek... this was in the 90's nearly 20 years ago. I've had several more instances of alpha prowess since.

>>693450140
fucked my new girlfriend in the bathroom of a bar, while my ex and HER new girlfriend who was my prom date argued about their relationship issues... in the same bathroom

meanwhile I'm getting my dick sucked and life was great

>>693458438
no but me and my dad spit roasted another girl

P.S. his wife was a bunny girl at the playboy club in London in the 1970s and so was the sister and 2 of the friends that i fucked

>>693457064
Not him, but it's not that uncommon. Most of Europe is okay with teenagers fucking. Age of consent in Italy, Germany, and Austria is 14. In France, Greece, Denmark, and Poland, it's 15. They don't give a fuck.

>>693457220
Cant tell you how much i say this to cashiers...

>>693458485
Now just fuck the guy and you'll be the talk of the tech support

Fucked a girl right in the pussy.

>>693458635
>Italy, Germany, and Austria is 14
funny

>>693458594
If you dad can get a playboy girl, i bet he has a nice dick

You should investigate further

>>693450140
I got myself a job and building a career.

Not sure why most of this thread considers intercourse alpha, it's just something people do.
Even a nigger can do intercourse.

>>693458382
also, didn't meant any of that in a brag tone.
but kek'd anyway. +many internets for you frog bro.

Fucked this 9/10 in the back of my car... I put my dick in starting the deed. she starts blabbing she wants someone to love her and arange gangbags for her... i start laughund.. my dick falls out, i fall between seats.. she has to help mu up while i still laugh explaining to her she will die alone...

X gf broke up with me because she was cheating on me. So I Fucked both her sisters and her cousin.

I sexed a girl.

>>693458753
I got myself a wife and am building a family

Not sure why most of this thread is about getting jobs and building a career, it's just something people do.
Even a nigger can find a good job to support himself

>>693458747
my dad was rich and he had a 10 inch cock

hes dead now due to alcohol and cocaine abuse

fucking legend

>>693458870
AYYY

I don't really agree on the self-supporting nigger

>>693450140

>Drunk in a very crowded bar, saw this beautiful slut staring straight into me, not fifteen seconds after first looking at her we are frenching, making out like maniacs
>Have a ridiculous huge boner from making out with then girlfriend, while waiting for her outside the girl's restroom at a party accidentally bump into another girl, she feels my dick and starts leaning into me, we start making out furiously
>Got this girl who hated my guts drunk with tequila shots, we ended hatefucking each other madly
>Spring break threesome

I've always been sort of a stealth beta (good looking/lots of qt female friends) but I've had my good days

>>693450140
I once at my low fat yogurt with a fork

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>>693458832

>>693458951
My condolences, Steve

Was 15 years old when the father of my then gf called me up on the phone and threatened me. He was angry because he thought I'm distracting his daughter from her studies. I stood my ground and didn't show any fear even though a middle aged man was threatening me on the phone. I was shit scared inside though

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calling everyone ITT a fucking beta

Climbing solo (no ropes, no gear) a 200m high route.

I tell everyone that I'm beta so other guys feel more secure, even though I am the alpha

>>693450140
Rejected the conventional idea of masculinity.

>>693459159
He probably was just jealous that a tight bodied 15 year old was fucking his daughter and not him

>>693459217
That is impressive, what grade?

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>>693459289

>>693459317
A+

>be of half-sandnigger heritage
>usually harmless but have mean-looking face because of scars from stupid childhood injuries
>apparently I can look really fucking murderous when I'm angry. and I can (rarely) get super freaking angry
>walk through city with one male and three female friends at night
>go through darkish side alley because we're on the way to a club
>two guys approach out of nowhere, one points a knife at me
>give valuables yadda yadda
>half-drunk me becomes really fucking pissed because he's scaring the girls shitless and also wtf someone threatens my life?
>"what do you want me to scare with this shit? you think I'm afraid of knives? where I come from we fight eachothers with rifles and machetes. you think this shit scares me? do you all want to die?
>guy without a knife takes a step back
>knife-guy confused and has shaking hands
>take a step towards him (wtf am I doing?)
>his buddy runs, he looks behind him, starts to run as well
>realize that was the dumbest but still coolest thing I have ever done in my life
>get really shitfaced that night because I almost got myself stabbed like an idiot
>never gonna do that shit again

>>693452310
Lol i know your type. I bet 90% of them were with tony ass dudes or guys we didnt have friends with him. Or friends that would step up.

>>693459317
Not too hard, F6a the hardest pitch, clean crack climbing, was the 5th pith and very exposed, but apart from that the route is quite easy to be honest.

>>693459441
Next time just scream Allah Akbar and open your coat.

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>>693459438
You didn't climb shit, did you?

>>693459544
Tony ass dudes are dangerous man. I'm telling you

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>>693450140
Manipulated and then proceeded to steal a good friends girlfriend. Constantly told her he was a piece of shit and would say things about her behind her back. She broke up with him and then I started dating her. It awesome, fucked her tons and then when she went crazy dumped that bitch. was a good time.

>>693459619
I climbed the back of your sister when you were sleeping

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>>693459682
Did you move on to fucking your good friend after you broke it off?

>>693450140
Fucked my sister in law then fucked my wife about an hour later without showering. Wife didn't suspect a thing. Shit was amazing.

>>693459682
hardly alpha your just a cunt

>>693456134
What the fuck are you even saying in this story.

>>693459552
That's around a 5.10? Pretty impressive for a free solo, especially with the crux at the top, this was in the UK I supose... Respect

>>693450795
>>693450993
underrated posts

>>693452082
He's been in there for a fucking hour

>>693459568

I like playing with that cliché, went to a costume Party once and when I was at the costume store I found a bündle of plastic Dynamite sticks. decided to dress as some Ghaddafi-looking arms dealer. Security guys at the door checked every single pocket and shit and inspected the plastic Dynamite super seriously.
Thankfully I'm not in 'Murica or I'd been shot numerous times lol

>>693459723
You mean my faggot trap wannabe baby brother? Hope you didn't get aids

>>693450747
Underage

>>693450140
Despite being born with autism and being put into an anger management class that caused me to be ostracized from normal kids I was able to pick my shit up in highschool. I went from no one knowing me to everybody knowing who I am. Started with turning my house into a traphouse and selling plenty of kush.

I overcame all my problems and i am now on my way to university in England for Mechanical Engineering

>>693459828
as good as that would make the story, sadly I didnt.
>>693459861
I prefer Edgelord, mind your pronouns shitlord.

>>693450140
had my ex's mom smell my fingers after i fingered her daughter

> >>693458635
Well it's 16 for the last countries .
And i don't think it's 14 abroad... u fucked

>>693459861
agreed, that's beta as fuck

>>693460112
The only aids i got is from reading your posts.

>>693460044
Maybe he fell in or is trying to bust a nut

>>693460585
my job is done, hope you die of cancer

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>>693457731
:)

>>693450140
Fucked my friends girlfriend.

>Fucking girl.
>Hate fucking.
>Really hitting it from the back.
>Remember porn where guy shoves girls face into bed with his foot.
>Foot move is hard to pull off, shove girls face into be with hand.
>Fish hook her mouth while she moans and I continue fuckiing her tiny little body.
>About to cum.
>grab a knot of her hair, pull her back to take my load.
>Just slapping my cock on her face.
>Blow the best load of my life right on her lips.
>Alpha? Felt Alpha.

>>693456134
EPIC

>>693456134
Tf u trying to say nigga

>>693460476
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age_of_consent

>>693450140
Got into three motorcycle accidents in 6 months and walked them all off.

Yes, it was the car drivers fault 2/3 times. The last accisemt was a blow rear tire

>>693459973
No, in Spain, in Madrid my hometown, perfect granite multipitch, clean and trusty. Is the only multipitch solo I've done, and I dunno when will be the next, you have to be inspired.

I used to date this old bitch. She was my mom's age. We used to Fuck like crazy and text back and forth. She was in a pissy mood one day and started calling me names over text. Found out a week later that she was dating this new guy. He's her age, so I guess that made her feel more comfortable, but he was an alcoholic, no license, piece of shit. I wanted her back because she was fun. We went to the beach one day, getting very friendly in the water. Went back to my place, fucked in the shower, fucked in my bed. I rocked her pussy. Then two days later, she cancels plans with me because she's still hanging with this guy. I got the day of work, so naturally I was pissed. I went over to her house and confronted the dude and told him that his woman was a cock hungry, slut, and that I fucked her on specific days. His 45 year old grown ass gets all emotional and breaks up with her on the spot, and peels out of the driveway. I look at her and ask if there's anything else she wanted to say before I left. Then walked out and never looked back.

>>693450747
How do people keep falling for this shit.

>>693461242
Way to fuck up your parents marriage, asshole!

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>>693452524
[Nigger Detected]

>>693459682
bait. beta

>>693461614
Autism speaks

I said she was around my mom's age, dumbass.

>>693461972
It was a joke you 2 bit cunt.

Hit a guy in the stomache for talking shit about my gf

>>693461216
Me encanta Madrid aunque nunca he hecho escalada por allá. Aun con buen granito en una ruta limpia es bastante impresionante. En lo fisico me imagino que es mas facil que estar metiendo levas pero romper la barrera mental de no poder cometer errores es otra cosa.

>>693462107
Obviously a very poorly constructed one, because it landed about as well as Egypt air. See that's how you construct a joke. Stop being eleven.

>>693462618
Exacto.

>>693461650
agreed

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>>693462683
if you weren't so damn stupid maybe it would have landed well. Stop taking yourself so seriously maybe you'll be able to fuck someone other than some 45 year old landwhale

>>693457221
fucking autist

>>693457221
fucking stupid autistic kid

>>693450140
killed amygdala in bloodborne on my second try

>playing WoW
>really need to pee
>run to bathroom
>start peeing
>cropspray errywhere
>run back to computer
>mom goes in bathroom
>shouts at me for peeing on floor, tells me to wipe it up
>I say no I'm busy
>bitch
>she mops up my pee
>I'm a level 72 druid
>I got epic items
>alpha as fuck

>be me
>15yo sister in her room dancing to Miley Cyrus songs
>go in there, tell her to shut the fuck up
>she turns volume up and keeps on dancing
>I punch her really hard in the tit
>she starts crying immediately
>I unplug her speakers
>eject CD and throw it across room
>tell her I hope she gets tit cancer
>back to my room
>play My Chemical Romance really loud
>alpha as fuck

8x clan medium pulse lasers - NO overheat

>be waiting to use ATM
>some fucking cripple in a wheelchair in line ahead of me
>presses the wrong fucking buttons
>gets his card back, goes to put it back in the machine
>I tell him to get to the back of the line because it's my turn at the ATM now
>alpha as fuck

>>693450140
I called someone a faggot on 4chan

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>>693463608
>That was me

>>693463119
It's not about me being stupid. It's about the fact that the fact that she obviously isn't my mom was presented with the original info. You tried making a joke, but instead made it painfully obvious that you are either reaching too far for a joke or you have a learning disability. Both are cringey. No need to be mad about it.

>>693463335
>my chemical romance
>alpha
You did pretty much the same thing she didnt

>>693463608
newfag

>>693463704
>missing the point entirely

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Broke up with her because she was an obsessive weirdo, she begs me to take her back for about two months, meanwhile I'm enjoying the single life, hanging out with my friends, hooking up with random bar sluts etc.

I decide I can get whatever I want out of her simply because shes dumb, hasn't moved on and would do anything to get back together with me, so I spend the next 6 months getting laid and "borrowing" money from her any time I call.

>mom be giving me a lift to the mall
>I'm eating a bacon roll in the car
>we take a detour through Jew Town
>girl waiting at bus stop outside kike elementary school
>I flick a piece of bacon gristle at her
>alpha as all fuck

>>693457221
kys

>phone up nigger church from payphone
>hello, pentecostal church of
>NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER
>slam phone down
>run off before FBI trace the call
>alpha as fuck and a half

>>693456134
... huh?

>Mom comes home from shopping
>She bought me the wrong brand of toothpaste
>Scream at her until she goes back to the store and gets the right kind
>She gets home
>Rip the toothpaste out of her hands
>Go up to my room
>alpha as fuck

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>>693450140
I texted a girl. Once.

>>693450140
Basically this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JLUjMWRCzic

Can't get more masculine than that.

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>everyone ITT

>>693450140
Got my wife pregnant

>>693463813
Not even alpha, just douchey

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>>693464252

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>>693464135
You're a god among men...

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>>693450795
here's one of them

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Fucked my best friends fiancé then sent him the pics of his girl after r finished. Made her cum three times in a row.

I stamped on a frog

>>693450140

I dunno...I just live my life how I want. Fuck what is beta and what is alpha...Only fags get wrapped up in that shit.

>>693451488
Thats just being a faggot

>>693456134
Nigga wat

>>693459075
thanks m8

>be me, 20 years old
>at movies with ex gf, I think it was Battle for Los Angeles
>starts rubbing inside of my leg
>she gets on top, facing the screen, riding my dick like it's the last one on earth
>nut so deep inside of her I still can feel it to this day
>she drops me off home, get a text from some high school chick I've been talking to
>just got her license. want me to come get you anon?
>picks me up, first time we've hung out
>starts blowing me in her car a few blocks from mine
>cum so fast because I knew it was lewd because she wasn't 18
>nutbutshestillsuckin.jpg
>get dropped off again, get hit up by this other chick I was talking to
>my parents aren't home anon.
>get to her house, see like 15 boxes of premium beef jerky
>start making out
>keep wondering why she has so much beef jerky
>starts sucking me off
>not sure I have any more jizzums left after previous two encounters less than 4 hours apart
>girl has tongue ring, really strong jaw muscles, gets me to cum within 10 mins
>as we're leaving the house I ask her about the jerky
>my dad owns a factory, you want a box?

TLDR: got with three girls in one night with little to no effort and no vehicle at the time. Came inside one at a theater, got a high school cutie to gulp down my load, and received a box of premium beef jerky from the other one after she blew me.

poisoned my neighbor's dog and made him believe it was the other neighbor

>>693450140
I got mugged while on a business tripp in amsterdam...it was about 3:00 am and I was looking to revel in the delights of the red light district when a guy jumps out of the car, thorwing me up against the wall and searching me claiming he is an undercover policeman. In my drunk state I almost fell for it. As he grabbed my phone and wallet I started to clock on that he's not shown any ID....i ask him for his identification and sure enough he tries to swing at me. I manage to half block the hit and I imediatly sober up and realise whats going down. Then the red mist descends and I lose my shit. I come up swing and clock the prick a couple of times right on the jaw and he starts to back off, i take the initiative and follow him. Eventually he concedes and hits the deck and produces my keys, wallet and phone. Never had a rush like it! i was shaking with adrenaline afterwards

>>693463154
>>693463229
>>693463861
ayyyy lmao
tbf she was a massive slut anyway, wouldn't have lasted long, helped him dodge a bullet imo