>>693271878
>i want a magical blanket that will allow me to fall asleep, whenever i want. it also smells like old books.
The old books were stored in a wet damp place and smell moldy.

I want something small, light, extremely valuable, which many people would desire to purchase from me.

>>693271878
I want grahams number written on a grain of rice

>>693271878
https://discord.gg/zShGPDW

come viti b por general.

>>693272148
>The thing is so sought after, people are willing to murder for it

I want a pencil that will grant me fame for my artistic endeavours

>>693272148
they also try to steal it off of you, you're constantly fighting off these people, or setting up things to stop them

>>693272577
The pencil is so sought after, people are willing to murder for it

>>693272577
the eraser is shitty and smears the lead all over the page whenever you attempt to use it, and a normal eraser is always just out of reach.

plus the tip snaps off alot

>>693272577
You can only draw yaoi with it

>>693272148
Go away Smeagol

>>693272477
It has the mass of a graham's number amount of rice grains

>>693272577

You can only draw dicks with it.

>>693271878

Every time you wake up, your penis shrinks an inch (if you're a female, you go down a bra size)

I want a car that can become any car I want it to be, and it's always in perfect mechanical condition.

>>693272477
the grain of rice with the # comes in a sack full of rice

self refilling bottle of gin

>>693271878
I want about tree fiddy

I want a bowl of tomato soup like my mother used to make

>>693273655
fuck would happen if i was a chick and they were down to nothing, can you have negative tits?

>>693273750
you only ever find the worst possible parking spots.

>>693273750
can only reverse

>>693273843
after eating the entire thing you find out some fat old dude jizzed in the soup

>>693273789
Drinking from it will cause 18 niggers to appear and suddenly beat you off.

>>693274258
will they be nice about it

I want a smaller magical bag

I want a wallet that has 15000 dollars in it at all times that when i remove the cash it is replenished instantly

I want a check written out to me from some shyster jew with big bucks for billions of dollars.
That's it.

>>693274486
Its invisible

>>693274458
every time you go out with friends you can't find it but they all think you're just being cheap.

>>693273921
I thought this said "what if I was a chink." Son I am disappoint

>>693274546
I am cheap lol.

>>693274458
neon velcro wallet, money is behind a bunch of fucking zippers and buckles and shit, look like an idiot getting the money out

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>>693274590

>>693273750
Only runs on natural gas.

>>693274650
Take money out at home place in another wallet

>>693274486
he doesnt actually have any money in the bank, he keeps all his savings as gold, buried.

>>693271878

I own a magical Bag that lets you choose anything out of it and other people tell you what it does
>

>>693274458
its all in 5c coins

>>693274941
Take to bank

>>693274086
>>693274138
>>693274720

LOOOL very well done guys.

>>693274941
That's evil

>>693274986
people at the bank are mean, you're stuck behind some dude that smells funny and keeps trying to sell you a watch. you have to wait for hours everytime you go, with your sacks of 5c coins

>>693275210
What kind of fucked up bank do you go to?
I spend like 5 minutes waiting at most when I visit my local branch

>>693275656

He's just adding conditions.

>>693271878

I would want a pair of throusers, with always the right amount of money in the pocket, for whatever I buy, some chewing gum, or a car/house or what ever.

>>693276012
they make a really loud swishy noise when you walk, and the zipper keeps falling down

>>693276079

Wouldn't have to be coins, can be bank notes for up to 100.000 or so.

>>693271878
> old books
That's some comforting shit anon thank you

>>693274546

It's ok, I have no friends.

>>693273804
It ends up only being $3.49

>>693276012
always comes out in random currency.

200 Translation copies to the voynich manuscript in English, decrypted, standard black text on white paper, printed on standard run of the mill 8x16 printed paper. The paper is bonded together and cannot be separated. Each copy is like this. The book is the same weight as a common dictionary, it has no odor, and it's edges cannot cut you. In fact the paper cannot hurt you or any thing else in any way shape or form.

The paper cannot be burned, ripped, or in any way destroyed, it is literally invincible and so is its ink. The letters can never be illegible, no stains, no marks, they are forever bound in the same position to the original copies. This can not and will not ever change. It will outlive time itself. You are not binded to the paper when you touch it, it does not latch on to anything or cling. It does not have some demonic power or stupid bullshit, don't fucking pull that its dumb.

All people who understand English can understand and read it and it makes sense to them. Don't try to say no one understands English. Pro tip kids: you can't say "you're blind hur"

Has to be a flaw in the item.

Try to seriously come up with something that is a major flaw that isnt some stupid shit like its invisible or no one can touch it

>>693277726
whatever you read out of this book is always committed to your memory, you'll never forget it. but the amount you read erases the same amount of previous memory.

you might forget some dumb shit like a bunch of boring math classes you spent playing around, or you could forget what the pet dog you had as a kid. you've no control over what is replaced

>>693278293
Calling bullshit, that's not a flaw in the item, it's an affect

Like I said stupid possessed shit like that is fucking stupid

You might as well say

WHEN YOU READ IT YOUR PARENTS DIE OMG

>>693278293
when you read it your parents die

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>>693278534
FUCK

I want a box with 100g weed in it, and it refills instantly when i reopen the box.

>>693271878
A pill that stops me from ageing and makes me immortal.

>>693279641
tastes like literal shit, and you have to eat one once a day

I want another magical paper bag that can give me unlimited amounts of anything I want and no one can put conditions on it.

>>693272771
Fucking brutal

>>693273789
Only contains bathtub gin. That is made by tubgirl.

>>693279723
God fucking dammit. What does literal shit taste like though? Like, soap smells good and tastes bad. So, if shit smells bad it might taste good?

>>693279965
The condition on your desire is that it cannot lose it's condition from anon.

>>693271878

A forever virgin loli willing to do anything for me

>>693280225
the loli won't do anything sexual

>>693280120
It didn't. It still abides by the rules of OP, which is why I asked for another magical (physical) bag, and the new bag can give me unlimited things which no one can put conditions on. You can still put a condition on this though.

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>>693272958
fuck i laughed so hard thanks anon many keks

>>693277726
Turns out to be the necronomicon. Ash doesn't like you. So he uses his chainsaw for some acute brain surgery on you. You now can't read. Guess it should have been in braille as well.

I want a barbell to fall on Hillary Clinton's neck and kill her.

>>693280225
all of your family immediately know anything you do or say to it

>>693272148
It's a finger box

>>693279545
The person who grew it used miracle grow. You now have weed that pops and turns black when you smoke it. Also from over watering its moldy.

A good internet connection.

>>693271878
I want the magical paper bag to contain a magical plastic bag which gives me unlimited things instead of one thing

>>693280337
everybody knows you made the barbell fall

>>693280312
Literally didnt read my post

Gg

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>>693280523
>implying he wouldn't be a hero

I want a rope that constantly tightens even to an atomic level and only I can be hung from it.

>>693280225

I want a meme that kills the "If you do not X your mom will die in her sleep tonight" mother's poster.

>>693280554
Necronomicon is only demonic if you read it.

>>693274899
You cannot use the bag yourself and the one condition of owning it is you have to let other anons get items out of it.

>>693280592
if you use the meme, your father will die in his sleep tonight

a micro-usb to rj45 cable

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>>693280639
k

>>693271878
a keyboard and mouse that makes me amazing at any game

>>693280779
It constantly connects and disconnects when you need it the most.

>>693276012
Perminent shit stain down back

>>693280875
if you use it they get merge with your hands and you can't get them off

>>693272148
> Everyone wants to purchase it but no one can afford to give you even a fraction of what it's worth. So you're just stuck with it because shit I'm not gonna sell it for that cheap.

>>693271878
A good life

>>693281144
It's a short life. 10 years max.

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>>693281093

>>693281144
your mother loses her life so you can live a good life

>>693271878
a wallet with infinite currency of my choice, which can never have any negative attributes applied to it.

>>693273843
But it's your last meal before you are killed by the state.

>>693281240
Fine by me

>>693272148
it also smells like a rotting corpse covered in diarrhea.

>>693273750
Has a 1 gallon tank no matter what kind of vehicle it is.

>>693271878
I want a teddy bear with a bad dragon horse cock that come alive at night and rapes me.
>bring it fags

>>693271878
I want a sock that also keeps my foot warm

>>693277726

The translator didn't really know the unknown writing system in the original book and only wrote major bullshit in your copies.

>>693281251
Its pink and says I am gay on it

>>693276012
They're leather assless chaps.

i want 50 pounds of marijuana

>>693281438
sock gives you superaids and you're dead within the hour

GG You fucking faggot

>>693281631
It's shit quality

>>693281631
It's actually spice and you OD naked on the freeway in front of a news helicopter with your friends and family watching

>>693281412
no conditions, live your dreams. you fucking earned it, be happy

>>693281459
There isn't a translator, its just translated. Its magically translated to English, all there is too it

But I'll play along

The voynich manuscript has had countless attempts of being decoded or translated in any way shape or form. People have dedicated their life to it, finding out its meaning, going insane about it.

Let's say it was all nonsense when translated. But is that actually negative? Even if it's wrong it gives people accomplishment and peace knowing it was solved. That gives people hope to aspire to do bigger and better things, to find out more about histories forgotten ciphers

It gives them a will to go on and learn what the world was like generations ago.

Can you really say that's bad?

>>693280508
With no porn ever to be found

>>693280508
You have too pay way over what internet connecter you have

>>693281251
you lose it

A rope that never breaks when I try too hang myself.

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I want a book that has the answers to this life, I mean every single question is answered in that book.

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>>693280875
...any game that involves choking the chicken

>>693282181
The rope is a lazer

>>693282278

The answer to every question is kys.

>>693281251
It's a currency nobody accepts

>>693282181
The rope is 100000 feet long and weighs over 2 tons

>>693277726
All the copies come with three locks.
None of the locks repeat and all the keys come in a plastic bag mixed up.

>>693271878
The old books were hentai mags that belonged to a sweaty weeb & filled with cum

>>693277726
The book doesn't put up with your shit and constantly yells "kys faggot" and other tourettes-like things at whoever's trying to read it. In Gilbert Gottfried's voice.

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>>693271878
A similar but slightly smaller paper bag.

>>693282624
>>693282624
Locks can be easily picked. (Don't try to add on to that idea and say the locks are hard to open, no back peddling)
>>693282825
How is that bad

>>693277726
anyone who reads it spontaneously combusts instantly

>>693282624
pretty sure anyone'd have that sorted out within a year.

>>693281509 >>693282070 >>693282373
>can never have any negative attributes applied to it.
reading comprehension

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>>693282373
>make it usd
>whole world stops using usd
>economic chaos
>mfw

>>693277726
turns out it's all gibberish ramblings of a mad man.

>>693284176
was nothing negative about the wallet he just lost it

>>693271878
I would make it magma. Ruins your shit little organic biodegradable trash.

Ariel Winter Naked

>>693284354
Kek

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>>693271878
I want one too

>>693284176
People not accepting currency is not a negative attribute being applied to the wallet. Failure at reading comprehension = very you. Stop defending your shitty wallet idea that was trying to break the rules in the first place, faggot.

>>693286364
>butthuert bcuz i have infinite monies

>>693281251
>a wallet with infinite currency of my choice
It's so dense that it turns into a black hole.

If you're going to put infinite anything anywhere then that's what you're asking for.

>>693273750
But you have to lift it from the bag with one hand

>>693271878
A book with all the secrets of reality written in it.

>>693276012
Pants get tighter the more money you take out

>>693272477
>It must be a physical thing
Your thing literally can't exist so I think it violates the rules.

>>693272477
It's just the words "Graham's Number" written on a grain of rice.

It can be done:
http://www.odditycentral.com/pics/the-amazing-rice-grain-artworks-of-chen-forng-shean.html

>>693280875
Everyone you play with will know your address

>>693281412
>the teddy bear is female