Real.

my ex

>>693191054
Somehow I expected to see this.

>>693191106
Feels bad, man.

>>693191106
Hit too hard on the feels. I wasn't ready for this. I didn't want to feel this.

>9
>buds
>nimble
>promiscuous
>juicy lips

>>693191106
this guys ex

>>693190954
Not a bitchy cunt, not a landwhale, not a twig, and not stupid/batshit.

>>693190954
and the ugly people losers try to hurt me cause try to take advange of me cause cant scare the attrative loser people and cant hurt the popular people with looks

>>693191319
>>693191363
you just have to accept the fact that you will never find someone better and then you move forward with your life

>>693191560
9 as in 9/10? Or 9 as in "better-fire-up-the-vpn"?

Illegal

>>693191581
underrated post

>>693190954
and the ugly people losers try to hurt me cause try to take advange of me cause cant scare the attrative loser people and cant hurt the popular people with looks
and try to hurt me cause will look stupid cause cant hurt the popular people with looks and will get angry but try to hurt the popular people if it was the other way around

Nice body. Nicer conversation. Has to love knowledge. I need someone I can discuss anything with, and can understand more than basic shit. English as a second language is a plus for sex reasons. Nothing is hotter than them saying stuff in a different language when you're laying the dick.

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>>693191106
>triggered me so hard

cares about other people
selfless
always wants to improve
kind
always tries to find a solution to problems
honest
loves to get intimate and share how she feels
positive attitude

>>693191891
Back to tumblr with you.

>>693191841
I feel like these posts are too many and too often.

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>>693190954
One with a qt feminine penis

A girl without a penis

>>693191874
Oddly specific with the language thing, but basically this.

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>>693190954
I'll do you one better. I'll just post a picture.

myself

i'm not a girl, btw

>>693192055
>has penis
>girlfriend
wat

>>693192150
...that literally makes no sense. But this is /b/, so I'll accept it.

>>693191759
This is/b/. What do you think?

My current chinese fiancee.Young 26,smart,associate in science and bachelors in metal structures,and massage medical license.
Makes great money pays half of everything and buys me gifts once in a blue moon,sexy and great scence of humor :) in love and will be married in november after my final semester at nku

>>693192144
That's not ideal, that's a fantasy

>>693192297
I can't imagine why, but I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. Oh well.

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>>693191106
I came here to post this.

>>693192288
>narcissism

It makes more sense than you know

>>693192344
Nice. Language barrier?

>>693192419
This is only somewhat true. I'm sure somewhere out there is a real girl with "similar" (and I use that term loosely) looks and personality. I just didn't feel like listing all the ideal things and figured a picture would be faster.

>>693192505
Fair enough.

>>693191560
This.

(9 as in fire up the vpn)

>>693190954
have a pussy that i actually want to eat out, not a sloppy one.

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I just want somebody that wants me back :(

>>693192468
/b/ in a nutshell. "I came here to post this," followed by something odd.

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NOT A WHORE.

>>693192862
/thread

>>693192847
Only ever got crotch pics from a single girl. Shit was so hairy you could barely see it, and was just slathered in unpalatable slime.

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>cooks
>cleans
>isn't fat
>doesn't fuck Leroy behind my back
>shuts the fuck up for %45 of the day

>>693193227
Not much to ask, but good luck finding someone like that these days.

>>693193227
I'll take things that don't exist for $400, Alex.

>>693193180
ideally you want an inny, kept smooth too. butthole really close as well. Theyre sometimes a little too far apart and makes you wonder if theyre a post op tranny. ut then you meet her folks and shes always been a female girl so its just the way it is...

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>>693192055
>I'm a completely inept with females that I decided to fall for the easy way with transsexuals and justify the illness to feel good with myself.

A small Russian 9 year old girl. Literally the best thing I could have.
Cute, small, speaks little, Russian accent, none of >>693193180
Anons problems.

>>693192890
Lol. Poor girl.

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>>693193377
>magic dubs
Right? I can negotiate how much she shuts the fuck up, bonus points if she doesn't care when I don't respond coherently to her ramblings.

>>693193495
Agreed, makes sense. This bitch didn't bathe either, she was crazy. But I somehow found her craziness to be hot. That shit wears of really quickly.

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>>693190954
One that recruits a harem for her man. Also she has to be a good cook.
even more importantly she has to be tsundere.

>>693193539
>projecting

>>693193619
Very true. About the anon problems, not about fucking children.

>loyal
>trustworthy
>sexy
>sweet

In that order

I want to date a girl who masturbates god dammit. I keep ending up with these girls who just... they like to fuck, but they hate sex toys, don't watch porn, don't bate.

I want a girl who's freaky, but not gross. And I don't care for power dynamics or bdsm.

I want a nerdy girl, but not an autist.

Also someone who'll be fine with my below average dick.

So basically a complete fantasy.

>>693193539
If you think it's easy to get a trap like that guys pic you're even more autistic than I already suspect you are

>>693190954
>Christian
>Trumpette
>Vidya
>Animu
>8/10 at least
>Virgin

basically, my ideal gf is nonexistent.

>>693193928
I've never had a gf (no fucking surprise). Any gf anons know how girls respond to you asking/telling them to shave their pubes?

>>693193867
I recommend Islam. You get polygamy, and there's pretty much nothing more tsundere than a burka before marriage to constant on-demand sex after marriage.

>>693194044
Nice dubs. Also, not a complete fantasy. Just very hard to find. I like your requirements.

>>693193227
Only if you
>are 6'0"+
>have 7" cock
>make 100k+
>work out
>don't use 4chan

>>693194044
Jokes on you, im living that life

Feelsgoodman

>>693190954
>not a feminist
>dosent know what tumblr is
>cares about her hygeine
>not bipolar or borderline

>>693194044
Nice dubs. But not a fantasy, I've known girls like that, namely my best friend.

>>693194188
Most just do it on their own. Never had to tell someone to do it

>>693194169
Why are Christian and Trumpette your top criteria?

>>693194169
>trumpette
>under the age of 42

>>693194044
>Also someone who'll be fine with my below average dick.
Be with a short girl.

>>693192144

With a decent Shep, this scum dies in Mass Effect 2, final assault.
Never steps on Earth, thanks god.

>>693194044
That's basically the whole of female tumblr. Unfortunately you have to weigh up whether the daddy issues and constant fake personalities are worth the kinky "real girls".

>>693194491
Oh that's good, I honestly hate pubic hair on girls that aren't actresses from the 70s.

>short
>plump
>relatively cute
I mean I'm not asking for a 10/10, but you know how certain people are just really cute to you while others aren't? Just want a girl that hits that 'cute' mark.

>loyal and honest
>smarter than me, but not a bitch
>self-aware enough not to be a cunt
>patient enough to deal with my dumb bullshit and know that sometimes I have diarrhea of the mouth and say stupid shit that I don't mean
>likes vidya and anime
>can take a joke so when I say her favorite anime is shit she tells me my waifu is a slut
There's the impossible part. Finding a cute girl is easy. Finding one that can put up with me and that I can put up with is the hard part. I'm kinda taciturn sometimes.

>>693194313
>6'2
>6 inch dick, but goddamnit he's a girthy fucker
>70k
>sometimes but I fell off the wagon
>looks like I lose

Her face can be somewhat ugly, within reason, and she doesn't have to cook or clean if she has a career. But that's as low as I'll go.

>>693194217
Holy fuck, my reply was almost identical to yours.
See >>693194416

>>693194666
You would say that Satan. Lucky for me, I don't care about your negative opinion

>>693194783
Huh. How bout that. Great minds think alike I guess.

>>693194692
lol you're looking for a boyfriend without a cock, you faggot autist

>>693194491
Not anymore.
They dont do it to be "liberating".
If you question it, you get a 6 hour long whining session that you dont apprehiate her, then it devolves in to you dont find her sexually attractive anymore, then she goes to not being emotionally loved anymore.
Find a doc that will let you bring her in for laser removal and never have a problem again

>>693194633
Dubs speak the truth.

>satanist
>jugalette
>faygo
>jew jitsu
>8/10
>virgin

>>693193904
If someone use an obvious and evident argument you just use fallacies misattributing a psychological definition.

Trans are not females and you are a delusional.

>>693194906
Well, yeah.
Isn't that what a girlfriend is?

>>693194372
>not bipolar or borderline

Lol not this generation

>>693194904
>great minds
>/b/
I appreciate it nonetheless, anon.

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>>693194208
No thanks, i'm catholic. She has to actually WANT the sex, or else it's no fun for me.
Nothing more exciting than a chick that shouts insults on you and giving you the middle finger then willingly jumps on your cock five minutes later then rides your dick with a shameful slutty face.

pic related, current GF

>>693195006
Waah real logic, what are you doing on neo-tumblr?

>>693190954
my current girlfriend but not living on another continent.

>>693191054
I feel your pain

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Old, brown, drowsy eyed.

>>693191936
are you a lesbian?

Sure /b/ has been overflown with idiots for many years. I'd know I've been here 7, but once in a while, intelligent, civilized people come around.

>>693190954
You know that old song "I want a girl just like the one that married dear old dad"?

Well, my mother left us when I was a kid. So I want to be with a girl who will love me for a little while, then go away.

>>693195239
Sucks. But at least there's a solution to that, at least in theory.

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>>693195178
>all the shit you said
You will never find this
>pic
Bitchs is ugly as fuck. Bet she has a disgusting meaty vag too.
Kill her

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>>693194085
If you really have problems getting something from a trannie I can't imagine what kind of person you must be.

an 18 year old mute brunette billionaire with a perfect body and great tits, whos on the pill and doesnt text me

>>693190954
Pam from The Office

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>>693195460
not anymore friend

>>693195460
This pretty much sums up my experience here. The hive mind shits out a nugget of gold every few months.

>>693195178
You're not supposed to want sex, as a Catholic, It's only a necessary evil for creating life.

>>693195163
True enough anon, true enough.

>>693195494
I guess OP did say "ideal", not "realistic". You win.

>>693195494
Lol

>>693195599
Check'd. Your image made me kek. Is funny cause is true.

>slim
>cute
>plays a ton of vidya with me
>a little bit clingy/needy but not stiflingly so
>creative
>understanding and sympathetic of depression and anxiety, accepts me for me and asks for nothing more than my company
>tfw describing my current gf

>>693190954
he has dainty feet.

>>693191581
top kek

>>693190954
>introvert
>modest
>intelligent
>with good sense of humor
>faithful
>likes hug
>brunette with straight or wavy hair
>shapely
>round ass
>big brown or amber eyes
But I would be happy if any nice girl would like to be with me.

>>693195893
I fucking envy you so much, anon. Like, an unhealthy amount. I want what you have.

>normal BMI
>no jew nose
>loves me

It's all i want /b/, is it too much?

looks like Patrycja Mikula did circa 2007
or Hope Dworaczyk circa 2009

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a futa like the one in the pic

>>693195993
Pretty much this. I'm into hugging and cuddling more than getting off, unless I haven't in a week.

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>>693191054

>>693196080
>high school

>>693196230
Not too much at all. To get that, all you need is to be social and handle rejection with grace. It's that old rule, ask a thousand girls to sleep with you and at least one will say yes.

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>>693195493
You really think you can get a tranny like that as a committed girlfriend? Jesus stop talking dude

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Latina or black

Short

Thick with wide hips, big tits, and a nice juicy ass

Smart and interested in learning

Can teach me things I do not know

Glasses

Nerdy, into retro shit like me

Kind, loving, and also a good person

Rich as fuck or has a good job

>Anorexic
>Quiet
>Scientist
>Hates herself so much she literally lets me do whatever I want to her in bed
>Anything
>Quite mentally unstable, but out bursts are rare af fam
>Gives me free weed all the time
>Thinks my bass playing is hot
>Lets me keep things casual
>Eats my narcisism up like crazy
I think I actually love her

>>693196459
>pursuing phd
I'm only a high schooler in terms of maturity, not age. Which may or may not be more pathetic.

Any of you guys who want rich women are not real men.

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>>693194763
Life is all about compromises. She compromises with you. You comprise with her. And both of you don't fuck around. Now stop being so damn picky or you will all die alone. I'm going to go masturbate.

>>693195476
yeah but she fell in love with a somewhat less shitty version of me that I constructed for her.

>>693196080
chin up, it'll happen lad. the best advice i can give is to not actively seek it out. focus on other areas of your life, improve yourself, commit to hobbies and interests, maybe your job if it is something that fulfils you.

when you meet someone who you want to date, don't jump the gun, don't go crazy. be her friend first, and be comfortable with the fact that you might never be more than friends. the friend zone doesn't exist.

do not enter into a relationship if it makes you feel any sort of anxiety. do not enter into a relationship where you aren't 100% confident in yourself and your ability to be an attractive partner. it will be an unhealthy relationship, and it will not end well.

>>693196654
I guess you're describing a real person, then?

>>693196483
Yeah but the only friends I have are from HS, the kind that you hang out with intermittently, I don't have any connection and walking up to girls alone seems desperate and makes me feel self conscious and like i'm disturbing them...

>>693191936
thats me but im a guy :(
looking for the same m8

>>693196848
Yeah I just wish she had a feminine penis

>>693196654
That's a pussy ass white boy fantasy. Bunch of bitch's.

>>693195806
>truthhurts.png

>>693196812
I'm 99% with you. But the friendzone does exist. I've been there with a girl I knew for eight years. I appreciate the tips. Self-improvement is a valuable tool.

>>693195635
Sex isn't evil. Sexualization is.

>White
That's it

>>693197098
topkek

>>693190954
>White
That's it

>>693197194
Hang yourself nigger

one that requires no maintenance, no attention, cares for self, exists when i want and sleeps in my bed, also maybe kind of chubby and kinky

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>>693197502
So you'd be totally okay with this?

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This, my god this.

>>693197502
>>693197792
I'm waiting.

>>693196678
>high school
was meant for
>>693195893

>>693198186
trigglypuff is thicc

>>693198272
Gotcha. However, I don't seem to remember having that arrangement in High School. I guess good for you if you did.

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>>693191710
What the actual fuck is this sentence?

>>693198289
kek no shit

>>693198505
I was wondering that too. Something tells me it's either sloppy copypasta or bait.

>>693194953
underrated

>>693198728
The black nailpolish must be in short supply in their area.

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>>693198448
that's okay. we all can't be perfect. ;^)

>>693194953
>faygo
you disgust me, faggot

>>693198505
Has anyone even been as far as decided to even want to look more like?

>>693198989
I know you are but what am I?

>>693199061
Kind of hot. But those soulless eyes.

>>693191054
>>693191106
I didn't come here to feel. Dammit, all I can think about is my ex since she started talking to me again, didn't sleep last night either. Trying to not be beta about wanting to work things out between us.

>>693199238
id marry

>>693199473
nah man have a wank.

>>693199473
Keep trying Anon, don't give up until she wants to be yours again because you deserve her.

>>693199473
Tbh, if it didn't work out it will never. I know it's hard but move on, set your eyes on a new woman.

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>>693196599
>Transsexual
>Committed Girlfriend

At this point you are not listening so I'm not gonna try to share my personal experience.

Mercurial
Tomboyish
Loyal
Tough
...I think I may want a lesbian.

My straight best friend who has a nice body

>>693200102
Tried that, a lesbian is a lesbian, no dicks considered.

>wavy ginger hair
>ivory skin
>amber eyes
>well placed freckles
>4'11"
>100 lbs
>b-cups
>jiggly round ass with thighs to match
>9" flaccid
>uncut
>pouty lips
>no tattoos
>pierced ears, septum, and belly button
>ticklish

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>>693199760
that's not how you keep a girl.

>>693199473
be more confident. say what you have to say (negative) to her and don't contact her until she contacts you with the intention of getting you back. If she responds by bitching don't do anything. just wait until she's done trying to cut your balls off.
Trust me I'm a frenchfag

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>>693199368
>>693200048
>>693200442

>>693199759
Did that
>>693199760
I'm trying
>>693199795
I'm almost 30 anon, if it don't work out with this one, I'll probably resign myself to being a recluse.

>>693200315
...
...
9" uncut
...

>>693190954
the most sexually desirable female on earth

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>>693196812
Thank you anon
I am not the one you posted to, but hearing this made me feel much better about my current situation

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>>693200798

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>>693200833
>wanting a mutilated gf

>>693200515
I've been confident and I'm in the middle of doing exactly that. We've already hashed out most of the negative, I'm just waiting for her to come around.

>>693201144
gj m8

>>693190954
>>693191054
>>693191106
Forget the infidel women. Fornication is a sin in Islam. Confess your sins and come to the eid 2016 thread.
>>693200319

>>693199795
>qt gf dumped me
>cried like a little girl begging her to stay with me
>she did actually

10 years later and second child on the way so it depends sorry for being vague btw

>>693201497
1 in a 1000th. Well played.

>>693201497
Oh I think the whole story is a lot more complicated than that.
Well done keeping her anyway, I couldn't.But now I'm banging way hotter chicks. I feel so empty.

>>693192890
Notice how the black guy knocked her up then isn't in the picture. Either ran off, or in prison.

>niggers

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Something like her. Cute.

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A picture is worth....a lot of words.

>>693202797
WHOS THIS

Cute, adventurous, affectionate, thoughtful, goal oriented, clean and at least slightly organized, loyal, and honest.

geeky/nerdy, at least slightly outdoorsy (walks, swimming, cycling, horseback riding, camping, something...), likes to travel.

Has similar tastes in music, movies, games, and foods, but willing to try more. Preferably no bible thumpers.

Submissive, and kinky are bonuses, but at least the willingness to try things is a must. Sassy is fun too! Someone who can at least come close to my sex drive and stamina would be a must. That 10-20 minute sex thing once or twice a week doesn't cut it.

Romantic. Cuddles would have to be a must.

Everything else is negotiable.

No fatties, as i enjoy my exercise, but petite - curvy is all good.

>>693203001
I wish I would know that too.

>>693192862
Nobody wants golem, Fuck off

>>693191106
Fuck I feel this. Been about 5 months for me and I'm just truly starting to feel the needed separation from my ex. I know she isn't right for me after all the shit that has happened but your brain still wants to make that crap work after so much. Got your back /b/ro. Shit ain't fun.

>>693191106
>Anon posts this and gets all the support from /b/
>I post this and get roasted like never before
Fuck you /b/