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nobody would notice but your mom

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>>692588406
Yea, thats one of the two people I would hate to hurt by doing so...

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>>692588569
it gets better

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>>692589147
look at this thriving 22 year old

http://www.strawpoll.me/10644374

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>be me
>be idiot
>ohwell.png
>had gf, now ex
>still hung out tried to be friends
>other friends act like people
>shes just this female person posing as a friend (and is an idiot)
>had bad night for "reasons"
>she,s having bad night because of above reasons
>says she wants to an hero
>I say I wanna an hero too
>she ax,s why
>I tell her truth, that I,ll never have her again, and tgat I,d get over it if she would act like a friend
>she gives up, no fight, not enough of friend to be wirth her time?
>just like when we broke up
>she gets uber
>forgot her pillow
>goodbye
>/happiness

It,s the right thing to do, just feels man.
Ya heard?

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>>692589147
Turning 30 this month.
Same shit as 20...
A decade of the same feels.
Just better at pushing it aside and going "oh well"

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>>692589639

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>>692588267
Depends. What kind of family you got? They'll miss you. Friends, even internet friends?

Also feelsbadman, had a buddy kill himself earlier this year. He was such a memester. I found him kinda annoying because he was always shoving shrek and dewrito memes down my throat but I'll be fucked if I don't miss him. I just wish I could've said goodbye or something, as well.

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>>692589833
Yea I have good friends, decent job, my health, plus this cancerous shithole to call an escape from day to day crap. (Jk luv ya /b/)
Just want that "white picket fence and 1.5 kids" dream...
I learned long ago I can,t kill myself (too vain) but I really would like to not feel this feel anymore.

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>>692589830
Yea thats only slightly more autistic then I act.

http://www.strawpoll.me/10644374

??

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>>692590387
>decent job

can you paypal me some money and see if makes you feel better?

>>692590387
I would say the first step to achieving that nuclear family dream is to take up a hobby. Luckily, 4chan is a great place for hobbies. Check out >>>/ck/ and learn how to cook. If you live in a good state, check out >>>/k/ and take up firearms (my personal favorite.) >>>/o/ can make you feel pretty manly, fixing up your own cars and such. Lifting can help you feel good about yourself too, so maybe hit up >>>/fit/ as well. Read the stickies on each one and become enlightened.

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>>692589327
>>692590789
Demi lovato over Taylor swift
And better mental healthcare for gun violence

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>>692590976
I work out and play music (open mics, and in a band)
Very cathartic.
Got 5 1/2 pack, drive my favorite car, friends are solid, mother is awesome,
Just.... I want a wife... I crave that romantic attention and the possibility of starting a family

>>692591416
Well, do you know any women who you'd be interested in starting a relationship like that with?

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>>692591738
No... not a single one I know (save for some at work but thats not happening)
Is worth it. All just barflys and girls.
I want a woman.
Someone who has their shit together and doesn,t need silly attention all the fug ing time

I want someone to love me like I want to love them. I've got such a big heart on my fucking sleeve and people can't fucking see it, or just choose to ignore it.

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>>692592344
>>692589433
Mah dubs. Little happyness

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>>692592523
Right...

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>>692588267
This is legit. Save it for later when the thread goes down. He replied to me like right away but idk where he lives or his schedule, definitely a cool dude and he's not some edgy asshole or a psychiatrist wanabe.

Worth it in my book bro

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>>692592907
Thanks but I,m the kind of narcissistic asshole who "has it all figured out" and believes I just gotta roll with the punches and move forward without latching onto the past.
Feels so much in the meantime...

>>692593415
I think everyone has those moments when they just have to "let go" and bitch,cry, complain, and throw a tantrum. If you can do that in email form here's this guy... always has advice for me but it's not like, "Hou should do (this) now". He actually has a way to let you figure it out on your own and then pushes you to make a change.

It's how I quit smoking and decided to start going to the gym twice a week, and enroll in college in the fall

Everyday I think about killing myself.
Driving to work I think about just ramming my car into a wall to end it.
Sitting at my desk I think about blowing my brains out.
Laying on my bed i think about hanging myself.
Cant do it anymore /b/

>>692593415
Anyway its ur call mate. Just take it or leave it

>>692588267
Dont you have a family of some kind? I mean im sure someone would care, even people who dont know you that well would care.

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>>692593949
Yea I hear ya. Problem is I have most of my life set. It,s just I cannot find a woman to share it with and move forward together with.

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>>692594041
Ditto man... I just can,t do it.
Nope, can,t pull that trigger, can,t cut deep enough, can,t swerve into death.

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>>692594117
Appreciated. Saved in case I change my mind and try to reach out more.

>>692594708
Everyday I get an inch closer to that fucking wall. But I can never bring myself to do it. Guess im too much of a pussy to end it.

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>>692594242
Yea my Mom is great and always, always there for me.
Have best friend of 25 years who is same.
Just this is a selfish need. They help but I want to escape my need. To not feel it anymore cuz I cannot seem to fix it.

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>>692595068
Same hear. I don,t want to cry for help or be wounded or crippled trying and then be all "I gound a reason to live, but niw have no legs"
Not worth it to "almost". All or nothing.

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>>692595361
I am going to breakdown so badly once I get offline or this thread 404s

>>692595299
Only thing holding me back. I cant be a crippled fuck and im too much of a pussy to pull the trigger. Guess im doomed to be a depressed fag til i grow a pair

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>>692595658
Right?!
High five!
Ouch, it kinda hurts to even fake happy for joke right now.

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>be me
>developing huge crush on chick in class
>she keeps fooling around with me when were drunk, nothing serious though
>roommate apparantely also likes her
>we and her live only a few feet apart
>the three of us watch a few movies yesterday
>i notice hes really trying hard to get into her pants
>gotta get up early so i fuck off at midnight
>its now morning
>hes still not here
>he most likely fucked my crush all night long


fucking hold me, i literally cant deal with these feels. what the fuck is going on with my life

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>>692595299
Yay 3rd dubs for me. Happy stupid pointless numbers of awesome!

>>692595817
Only way to get through the day.
Fake it

>>692595884
I know the same feeling
I know it so well.

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>>692595884
Almost trips.
Yea don,t you hate when you miss out like that?
Fucking makes me feel worthless.
Like why,d I bother to try?

>>692596057
how long until the pain fades?

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>>692596003
I,m so tired of faking it. My soul is stretched thin.
Wish it was done.

>>692596210
The pain never fades.
You learn to ignore it.

>>692595884
Sorry to hear anon keep your head up

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>>692596210
Dude... no one can answer that.
Only you (we, me as well) can affect it.
Either accept it and move on/deal with or... I don,t fucking know..

>>692596414
dude my life was so amazing 5 days ago
and now i feel like dying
i dont want the pain to stay i want it to fade

>>692596462
just fucking kill me

im at that point where people dont talk to me in weeks, and when someone finally does i get surprised and overexcited... prolly gona see it thru for a bit more years. then rip

>>692596282
Feels like it will never be done.
Im gonna go sleep and pretend I don't exist.
Nice chatting with ya.

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>>692589211
fucking sad man

>>692596670
The pain is always there. For me at least. You just learn how to shove it down and hope it never returns.

>>692588267

i would miss calling you a sad little faggot

...oh wait a minute, i can do that when you are not here too. so never mind. feel free to wander off into the woods and kill yourself

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>>692596785
Likewise.
Survive dude. I,ll try and do the same.
Pretend in ur dreams that you are winning. Works for me until I wake up.

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>>692597045
No sweat. I,m exactly that right now.
But hey... to be all super depressive: if I an hero u ll still have plenty of people to call faggots and I won,t be missed.

>>692596210
It won't. Sorry, anon. I might only be 19, but I know that life is full of struggle and pain. This is just one stab wound of many. Eventually, it will heal up, but you won't forget it and you'll always feel it.

I think I have some sort of problem

This may sound really fuckin retarded

>listen to music
>suddenly feel on top of the world, like i can do anything, energetic as all shit
>must move around in any way from the excitement of my dreams and aspirations
>after i tire out i sit back down and sulk in the disappointment from knowing deep down none of this will ever happen
>this happens atleast 5 times a day

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I need someone to talk to. I can't sleep. Oh christ, please.

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>>692597658
Sucks to be alive just enough of the time to be irritating

>>692597943
I'll talk to you fellow faggot

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>>692597933
Checked.
Nah I think thats typical.
Get a little "high" from good thing, then they end, and you remember they didn,t really change anything, just made you forget for a moment....

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>>692597943
Yea Thats why why I,m awake.
Go ahead and rant dude.

>>692598054
Sucks to be alive and watching people squander away everything you've ever wished you had.

>>692588267
Oh, who gives a flying fuck?!?!
Even if you got a kickass wife and badass kids while keeping in touch with friends and your parents, you still have to face the fact that everyone you've ever loved and will ever love will die, many of them during your lifetime.
Face it man, we all die alone in one way or another, and the sooner you accept that the worst will eventually happen, the sooner you can start living in the moment.

Personally, I don't really want people to miss me. I've already lost so many loved ones in my life. I missed every single one of them, and it hurt like hell when they left, even my fucking dog.
Why would I ever wish such pain on someone I cared about?

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>tfw you will never have a gf ever
it sucks missing out on something so big yet so simple about the human experience
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oZunkuitQ3A

>>692599999
Ehneh

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>>692598894
Totally dude. I,ve accepted much but I feel similiar.
Like why bother if it,s gonna end?
I know the answer is "the journey is important, not the destination"
But this trip sucks yo
Lol
Also: only 3 people (changed my mind from the only 2 ppl) would really care for a time.

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>>692599142
my nigga wit that leandoer

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>>692599142
Had one, dumped her, shes dumb but cute, feeling more with dick than head,
But had something, now don,t, fucking highlander movie...

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>>692599481
real shit
have you listened to bladee's latest album?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_T-7IxxLcyY

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>>692599291
I,ll totally feel better if i get those quints

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>mfw I suck it up and smile

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sorry i wasnt good enough

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Quints and I live happily ever after

How do you all handle waking up every day and having to fake not being completely hollow inside?

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>>692599989
Thats close to what I said to her as she left.

>>692599692
no, but i'll check it out, I find him a bit annoying unless he has a banger instrumental behind him and he can deliver some flow

>>692600076
stop faking it like me

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>>692600076
It,s not really a "how do" its just a, either I suffer or die, and I can,t kill mysekf soooooooo I suffer through it.
Plenty of fun times. Just not what I want when I go home alone

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>>692588267
Good you've seen that... Also why are you here... Some kind of Stockholm Syndrome connected to being a psycho or what?

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>>692600322
Checked,
I did that, lost another friend, oh well. Ya can,t handle truth, then fuck off.
Am i rite?

is it too much to ask for if all i want is some kind of response to my text?

texted my ex after 2 years, just something to catch up
that was a week ago, she didnt even read the message
she couldve atleast told me she doesnt want anything to do with me, but nope, blatanlty ignores it

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>>692600518
I,m here cuz it,s entertaining.
Good distraction.

>>692600578
(YOU) better fucking fix this nigger

>>692599330
I know the trip sucks right now, but life has a funny way of changing things without a moment's notice, for better or worse.
And I know, it only seems like things will get worse, but you must have the faith to press on anyway. If you're to have faith in anything at all, let it be this.

One more thing: it doesn't matter what people think about you. They may have money, looks, or fame, but at the bottom of it all, they're just another poor soul working with whatever's available.

>>692600578
i've been doing it and have 0 friends now

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>>692600748
Huh? The nazi imagery or the losing a friend?
A: the pic works, TS on the nazi shit.
B: no, shes not worth it. And even if she was, I,ll never have her again, so wutev

>>692600748
and GTFO ofc

>>692600625
maybe shes just that type who doesn't want you to think that she still cares about you, even to respond to a text

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>>692600906
Ya. Gotta love how that works

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>>692600793
Sure, and I,ll wait and wait until then.
Such joy, much yay...

>>692601039
nah, don't think so
she just might've turned to someone i don't know anymore
but man, i really thought she would've had the balls to atleast be kind of honest after some years
guess i was wrong

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>>692601215
Easier to ignore than to be upfront.
Bitches man...

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>>692601025
>ofc
I wish

>>692601470
sad thing
i was genuinely interested in how things were going for her

>>692601215
don't dwell too much on it man, i've heard people say to do put your mind to things and do things but not care of the outcome. sort of like a bird who sings, it doesn't give a shit if you like its singing or not, but it will keep singing because that's what that bird does.

>>692600008
Almost

>>692597933
What kind of music, anon?

I have bigger problems I'm Catatonic Schizofreniczny right now but my mother said if I'm a guest I should help then help i could receive, peoples star to like me more because I don't ignore the problem and start the fight but I'm trying to solve it...
I feel a lot better but sometimes i have my periods so I'm going to buy CBD oil...
But yet i still know my old way of thinking even if i have difficulties and I'm receiving a lot of help
Even if my English skill is turning shit I get out from the bottom and it feels great there is always sun after the storm

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It doesn't matter if I post here. I type paragraphs and then erase them and then do it all again. I'll always feel this way. Empty. Estranged. Just finding the courage to kill myself now.

>>692601917
i know anon i know
i was really looking forward to this, thinking she might've changed and it looks like she did, but not for the better i guess
ah well

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>>692601979
Story of my life. Ironic Kek

>>692602162
I barely understood this yet I connected somehow...

so uhm guys
i had a thing going on with a girl for about half a year
she then went back to her ex bf
after some months of no contact she texts me how much she missed me in her life
how much she missed sex with me, what kind of feelings i arose in her
yet told me nearly everytime, as if she was reassuring herself, that her ex is her dream guy

a month ago she told me she couldn't handle being in contact, because a text from me would quote "make everything to shit again"
whats up with that?

>>692602407
Feel free to do another meme I don't care
I'm going to deal with that anyway...
You know it's kinda hard when you screwed

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>>692602172
Nice dark souls feels pic.
Good luck either way. Life or death.

>>692602515
she wants to use you again

But only I can deal with it and that makes you son a motherfucker

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Да, хорошо

>>692602632
use me for what?
shes that type of girl which puts a lot of emphasis on sex in a relationship, her words
told me she was pretty disappointed in her sex life with her ex, whom shes back together with now
and told me after that that shes disappointed once again
the hell

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>>692588267
The store you buy lotion from, but nobody else you piece of shit.

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I,m done for now. Gonna go whimper myself to sleep after this last smoke.
Remember: pepe is not dead and there is no such thing as happiness

Haven't lurked, just venting. Here is my feels:
Subhuman faggot married my aunt, or great aunt, or some shit. No worries. Years later, the mother of this aunt (or some shit) has heart problems. Goes to ER (or some shit) and has quad. bypass performed (or some shit), cause her heart is fuckered. This aforementioned subhuman decides to sell her condo out from under her, being the landlord (or some shit), while she is in recovery for 4-37 weeks...
Anyone actually wanna hear this?

Why don't you mention all these peoples that found out the truth about you so you make them public laughing stock slowly dying...
It's just sick man...
You don't even know how many peoples I meet everyday and they consider the truth...
It hurt's man saying to them alt the time i don't know it yet and they need to deal with it on their own...

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>>692602922
Oh well
C,est la vie. I ain,t even motivated to jergens off so even the store could care less.

>>692602948
poooooooooooooosay

I hope you choke on that little hocks bitch

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>>692602991
Oh god. I dunno man. But please get it off chest if needed. Thats why this thread was started.
And that subhuman is a faggot.

>>692603283
hooks

>>692588406
Too bad she's gone too...

>>692588376
These threads are the best part of this board

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>>692603444
Nice trips.

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>>692603195
Thats me: whine like little bitch incorporated.

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>>692603283
>that little hooks?
Fucks that even translate too?

every fucking time I take the truth and put that little hooks to trash you start to screwing with them as i said... They always say shit like how can you be this motherfucker and kill peoples because you just stole something and put is in the bad light even if we trying only to help...
It fucking feels bad when i help them and must say to them I don't know that yet your on your own... And you make from them a public laughing stock lying slowly turning death... You are one sick faggot you know?

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I was taking the train home today after work.

My friend who has severe anxiety talks to me for the first time in a month. Explaining how she misses me and really wants me to not leave her.

I just start breaking down in tears on the train.

It's stupid I know but she actually cares and needs me, she struggles with showing care because of her childhood.

But just knowing she loves and needs me made me sob like a baby on the train.

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Sometimes I wish I would just die in a freak accident so I wouldn't have to feel guilty for the sadness of my loved ones when I inevitably off myself.

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>>692604174
>mfw i read that

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5UqFj-uk78
She have something to say to you
There is a police i think so there will be no problem i think...

thread musik for all my rap friends

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ZqfAJ05WmE

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>>692604406
Yup. This.

>>692603385
All I needed. Was just discussing with fams, so the hate is felt anew. Will kill the hee-haw boosheeit. I was ~12 when my grandma came to "live" with me. The reason she came to live in our house is because she was riddled with cancer. Bone, brain, lung... all of it. It was everywhere. It is what it is. The cancer was discovered after her heart struggle. After her quadruple bypass surgery, they told her they had found numerous spots throughout her body. I guess. I don't know, I wasn't there. I was at home being a kid. Had a 10/10 girly, at least to me. Had just moved into a house house, thanks to my uncle, by marriage, and his wife, my aunt, who were/are (?) realtors...

>>692604406
OR wonder if anyone would come to the hospital

>>692604406
Yeah this

>>692604225
Damn anon it must've felt nice if you cried

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>>692604684
Don,t ruin ur life over it is all I,ll say.
Doubt ur gram would want that.
The subhuman to pay? Yea probably. But not you suffer to make it happen.

Vi chan at lest have only one problem we know but mam you are just subhuman

>>692604684
So. We (my mom and dad and my sibling) moved into this house. Fams totally hooked us up, we thought. Dog I've had since I could form memories is there. Has a backyard to play in, doggie door to the garage. Fuck a doghouse in the snow. He was set. We were set. Life was good. Fast forward a few months... maybe a year? Wasn't long...

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Did this in MS Paint while in a depressed rage 3 almost 3 months ago hoping that I could look back on it when shit changed, but that still hasn't happened.

I'm still in love with a girl I was in love with 2 years ago. I've had girlfriends in between but they are nothing like her and I compared them constantly in my head. I feel like an asshole and I'm so god damn lonely. The girl was a really big downer but we' were so close I liked her family and everything. I just saw her the other day and I had to sit with her and it was terrible. I wonder if she even misses me. She's with another guy who took her virginity because I was too nice and everytime I tried I didn't want to hurt her so I would stop. Everything is so fucked /b/ I'm sorry if this seems like fag or anything I can't get over this girl

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god damn laughtin lie from 16yo with problem got me.

>>692605726
tfw never had a gf so you can't relate

>>692605443
Grandma comes to live with us. Because she is terminal and has nowhere else to go. Fuckboy "uncle" of mine sold her condo while she was recovering from her bypass surgery. Without her knowledge. My aunt has been quoted as saying she would never do something such as that, so long as she lived. Her cuntbile bag of demon shitdicks (my "uncle"... The POS aforementioned a few times) RETIRED as an EMT/Paramedic...

>>692605943
If you ever do get one DONT take advantage of her love. Don't lie to her. Please. I'm a wreck because I know most of the reason the girl of my dreams left me is because I'm an ignorant young fuck. U will get one anon. And when you do please don't take advantage of it like I did idiotically.

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Talked with this girl for a few months, finally met her and everything was amazing, we were supposed to hangout yesterday but I woke up to a text saying she got back with her ex, I've been laying in bed since, hurts more than year long relationships, the feeling of finally having someone like you back then just having it taken away. I've lost motivation to make music and do other things I like, I just want her back /b/

>>692606290
Thank you for the advice anon. I will take this and live by it.

I've been trying to improve myself for a while. Getting a bit better lately, and even getting promoted at work very soon, which is huge to me. Getting in better shape. Back in school and it's going fine.

I got a long fucking road ahead of me though. I'm so unhappy with things. Tired of me and everyone I love living in such fucking complacent mediocrity. A lot of it is my fault because I was raised decent and yet I managed to find drugs as an adult and got hooked on the lifestyle so I spent a few years digging this hole.

Now I'm 28 and my brother is 31 and we live at home with our grandma. That alone isn't SO bad, I think it can be a good thing. But in my years of retardation I let the maintenance around here go and it's not quite caught back up yet. Now I'm going through phases of ups and downs... sometimes I'm super motivated 24/7 and trying to fix shit, sometimes I fall back into depression for a few days and it takes me a little while to get back at it. I wish my brother would see what the fuck is going on though. I don't know how to motivate him besides to just keep doing my own thing and lead by example.

Also quite lonely. Literally in a long distance femdom relationship lol. Somehow, I feel it's the reason I'm actually getting better though. I'm Her "slave" and therefore I feel a purpose in life.

Yeah...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=70S3HywhRzs

>>692606449
That fucking sucks man

I'm going to exercise see ya later faggot

>>692606449
had the same stuff happen to me anon

>>692606449
She missed out on a good anon

>>692588267
Today I was confronted by someone very close to me about my drug problem. They said they can tell when I'm using because I'm mean. It made me feel like a piece of shit which made me want to use even more.

>>692606201
Sorry, it's scattered but I'm writing as best I can.
So chucklefuck somehow signed my grandma's condo away. Must have made sure he had PoA in that matter long ago... wouldn't surprise me now. SO! His wife (my aunt) flips out when she hears this. So much so that her face began sagging over a multi-day period. Her motor skills and speech deteriorated. Her paramedic husband took her in after it was obvious a stroke had irreparably damaged her. That happened. Meanwhile he has the mother fucking GALL to ask his wife's brother, "What are we gonna do with your mom?"...

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>be me
>20 something loser who works at gamestop
>develop crush on chick who works with me
>after a few weeks get brave and ask her out
>bad decision.jpeg
>she turns me down has bf apparently
>oh well
>later her boyfriend catches me after work
>ask me why i was "all over his girl"
>say i didnt even know who he was
>he beats the shit out of me
>end up in hospital
>only 1 person comes
>mom
>i love my mom

>>692606675
What's your story :(

>>692607056
this one >>692602515

>>692606937
Fuck that guy

>>692607141
That's awful, I feel you, she said she was unsure about getting back with her ex when she told me, but I don't want to be a second choice. Even looking at other girls nobody reminds me of her.

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>>692588267
>be me
>loser
>awkward outcast since birth
>literal skeleton
>played bball when i was young but quit to play video games and do other shit because everyone who played around me was too good to deal with a newbie
>puberty hits me hard and fast
>legs become very hairy in middle school, all hope of wanting to try out for track out the window as long with basketball due to lack of any actual commitment nor activeness
>high school me accepts fate and sees unfair ness of life
>being so smart i knew the right things but didn't pursue them
>everyone who has no intelligence or workmanship is suddenly succeeding in some form of way yet im not getting anything
holy shit im half asleep and dont know if any of what i wrote makes sense, ill just 404 my way out into the night

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dating girl i could probably marry but debating breaking up so i can find someone who fits my fetishes better

>>692607378
same thing here man
but tbh getting back with the ex will be their downfall
in a week, a month, a year she will regret that
theres a reason they broke up, no matter how small

>>692607501
That's what I'm counting on too, we can make it together, someday they'll realize, just hard to get out of your head, ya know?

>>692607393
>>everyone who has no intelligence or workmanship is suddenly succeeding in some form of way yet im not getting anything
you're full of yourself for no reason. get rid of your delsusions

>>692607362
Thanks. Sadly, I havent seen my mom in months, i moved out after a bad fight

>>692607645
jup they will
until that day we will try everything to be a better self

>>692606933
No one is reading my spew and I'm fucked up so I'll make it quick:
Being the poorest of all her children, my family takes her in. She lives out her remaining... 6 months? with us aiding her as best we can. Working and going to school. Electricity shut off due to nonpayment multiple times even though she requires 24/7 oxygen. My dog gets out and is hit by a car. Fuckin' dead. Parts of me die. Grandma goes to free hospital to die. Brain is shit. Bounces back. Comes back home. Brain is shit again. Dies in free hospital. Lose house shortly after. Fuckstick planned it. Sold us house with low starting rates so we could house dying granny. WAAY cheaper than a "home". Fuck. FUUUUUUUUUUU-

>>692607658
You guys have been together for years I'm sure there's still love there. Do you think she would forgive you if you were to apologize for the fight?

>Be me
>Hanging out with randos
>Have fun time dicking around
>Apparently I'm the hype master
>Never drunk, they want me to hit them up if I ever decide to
>It's actually the facade of a personality I've built to catch the attention of a girl
>It doesn't work correctly, she's too shy and my newfound personality is too out there

I literally changed my entire personality, learned the virtues of courage, learned to be sociable, gave some advice to people who are still thanking me for it and didn't get the girl.

I've posted some true depression level shit here about my actual life but now my "outside" has managed to make life better for everyone but myself.

>>692607832
Im sure she will. When I get time off from my new job, ill visit her. Thank you

>>692607974
never change

>>692607651
true i spent my time studying so much but i just like its not gonna pay off in the long term as far career choices n shit everyone else seems to be going just fine

>>692605079
This was years ago. I haven't and I wont. But the times I think about it... I wanna catch Fuckstick walking into the office or something. Make it so he doesn't look the same when he is released from the hospital... ya know?

>>692607994
Ur welcome anon. I don't have a very good relationship with my mother so I'm glad to see you do.

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I'm mad in love with my best friend since last summer. Even broke up with my girlfriend because the feelings for my best friend are more than I ever feeled towards anybody else. But she doesn't even know that, she doesn't even see me as potential bf. Loving some one who don't loves you back is the worst pain one can have

>>692608039
No, dude. I made the right choice. I became an infinitely better person. I went through all the shit to get to where I could like my personality, have confidence and see the positive effects it had on other people. But here I am a year later and the one thing I really wanted is farther away than ever

>>692608676
>. I became an infinitely better person
> But here I am a year later and the one thing I really wanted is farther away than ever
never
fucking
change
for anyone except yourself

>>692608676
That fag was right in his own right. But so are you. These boards can be a much needed cathartic reflection. Learn from this. It seems you're aware of your own feels and why it exists. You got this, fag. Anon. You got this.

>be me
>almost 16
>went to tard classes until 8th grade because of depression and anxiety
>I am highly intelligent but the fuckwits decide I should be with kids who throw chairs across the room
>totally segregated from any normal kids
>never learned any social skills
>spend a week in a physc ward at age of 9 because my mom was cheating on my dad and didn't want me to see so she told school I was suicidal and made a huge story up

>don't live near any other kids at all, so can't get any social skills outside school either

>reforms to tard school come, I'm deemed "ready to be mainstream"

In tard school we were not allowed any contact with "normal" kids.

So at the start of high school I am put in all honors classes with normal kids.

Fail it all.

In tard classes work was for tards, so never was a challenge.

Spaghetti out every time I try to make friends. So I give up and be alone all day.

>build PC
>sit in my room all day
>haven't received a text on my phone in months
>my only friend on steam just unfriended me
>I have never talked to anyone out of school except my family and people on the Internet
> I have not left my house other than to go to the store in 7 months

I don't have a job, don't want one as Id just fuck it up. I have no future. Family can't pay for college and will never get scholarship. HOW CAN I EVER SURVIVE AS AN ADULT. I DON'T HAVE ANYONE TO TALK TO. I NEED A DAMN HUG

>>692608896

I just love it when I change to get something I want and don't get it anyway. Perfection

>>692588267
probably no one right now other than family... the thing is that you can change that any time you choose

>>692592523
Just Surrender... It doesn't matter if you love someone or not.

When I feel like an hero I watch this video and it usually cheers me up.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-7558NYtwY

Before thread is kill I just wanna say that all it takes is a mental breath. When the shit is thickest, just take a mental step back and think about your situation. Someone always has it worse. Always. Unless you have it the worst. That's just fucked. Otherwise, you'll be okay. We're all okay. Not great. Just, okay.

>>692596210
Depends on your ability to handle it... Usually a couple of month (2-3) after you won't feel much?

>>692609186
>It seems you're aware of your own feels and why it exists.

You are one of many people to tell me this, be it on 4chan or real life. I've had the strength to be able to see my shortcomings in life whether or not I or anyone was to really blame. It's going to be a sad day when I don't have the mental strength to stare down my problems anymore

>>692610007
Faggot OP is posting on an image board. He has it better than 90% of the people on earth. He is not hungry or oppressed. He knows no major struggles or worries. Fuck OP and his made up problems.

>>692592907
This is the gay.

>>692610552
Sounds like someone just rode up in their cunt car with their cunt self to post a cunt comment.

[spoiler]CUNT[/spoiler]

>>692610523
Haha /b/rother I feel where you're coming from. I guess I'm in the same boat as you. I am the poster you tagged. We can tell ourselves these things but it's always "one day I'll be so deep down that not even I can pull me up". Hell. I've had those days. I know what the barrel of my .45 tastes like. It isn't good hahaha. I think I've finally enabled myself to snap out of that. Do I get sad? FUCK yes. Do I let it ruin me? Not yet. Hopefully you can at least get to where I am. I don't take medication by the way. I deal with me mono-mono.

>>692610552

Life hasn't always been the best. It's not the life I wanted. It's not life I wanted to be born into. But it is the life I have and I feel like that's worth something.

But with that said, it's alright to look around and want what so many people have. No one wants to be alone no matter how rich or poor. This is that fucking thread, the one where people look around and ask for more.

>>692605726
you'll find someone else anon

dont get caught up in thinking that she's "different" from all the other girls

>>692611382
Thanks dude. Looking back, I've had way worse and come out learning something. I'm letting my frustrations get the best of me

>>692610552
fuck off you fucking dumb CUNT

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>>692611978

>>692611382
>>692610523
Also. I'm more of a lurker but I've been here since around '07. It will be okay. Maybe not good and maybe even shitty, but it's all okay. Look at these morose fucks on /b/. They're still here. Being morose fucks. Shit ain't right but it's alright. Keep on /b/reathing if nothing else. We're here. Even when nobody replies. We're lurking. I'm the 'granny/dog dying in my house' guy. Plenty of other shit and more details to that. But it happens. No worries.

Chill and hold still

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LFHeDEsI9NQ

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>tfw NEET
>no motivation
>no people skills
>got back from the mental hospital a few months ago
>don't see the point in anything
>constantly get yelled at to get a job
only things that help are vidya and 4chan.

the worst thing i have ever felt is loneliness, just knowing that no in the whole wide world that not one single person what to just have one tiny chat, this is what gets me the most. i want to hero so badly but im to much off a pussy to do it.

>>692611978
That's all it is, man. Shit happens and we learn. Frustration is always peeping in. Wondering why you're not doing some awesome shit you thought you'd be doing. Be happy that you've made other people's days, as you've said. That in itself is a bona fide Jesus Christ miracle haha. Others feel like you or worse. To connect with that, or assuage it from the outside is precious. I imagine someone has cheered you up on a bad day, if only once, long ago. Never give up /b/ro. We're all in this shithole together.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3YxaaGgTQYM

:'(

>>692609520
I'd hug you, Anon.

Depression

Dead inside
Empty
Purposeless
Ready to go
Empty
Sadness
Shame full
Isolation
Obscurity
Nothingness

>>692612749
You'll do fine in life. Use your feels as a weapon. What bums you out? Pisses you off? Counteract those things. Help others out when you can. Will they come and have sex with you? Prolly not. But that's not why we do it. If they do, that's just awesome. Regardless... I listened to you.

>>692612749

Have strength anon, have the strength to believe in yourself. You are only as alone as you believe yourself to be

>>692613492
in the same boat

>>692609520
You know what to do in your situation? Get an oddjob, something stupid like unloading boxes from a truck like I did for a while.

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>be me
>be 15
>dad was never around so had issues
>never trust anyone other than myself
>meet a wonderful girl who was everything i was looking for but never could find
>start dating girl
>she was at least a 7/10 but was chubby
>she really likes me
>mfw im just using her as an excuse to be not be "alone" or just wanting someone at my side so i dont feel lonely
>we break up and get back together
>do this from middle school to high school
>after awhile i realize i love her
>things are going great and we are having a blast
>i take her virginity and we fuck like rabbits for the next few months
>we start having fights after awhile
>i never fought back and took it because i was scared of losing her so id let her win all the fights
>she leaves me again i think its really over this time or maybe she'll come back
>she tells me that she never wants to be with me ever again
>mfw i never gotten over her and rare talk to her now
>mfw she has gotten alot more boyfriend and flaunts them over facebook
>mfw im still crushed and still love her with all my being

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Autism.. increasing drastically

>>692614488

Anon, no one girl is so special compared to others. There are other you can love, you just have to give it time. You used 7/10 so you wouldn't feel like a lonely loser but over time you became attached. Not because she was super special, but because you had the patience to keep at

Jesus, stop thinking about it that way.
Who's going to remember anybody?
Life is about what you make it.

I broke up with my girlfriend tonight.
I no longer have to support that lazy ass.

>>692615137
Maybe not the best way to view shit but basically, yeah... get your human connection however you can. If it's bad then find a way to make it positive or sever it. It's cliché but you really only need one good friend. Or someone you can tell shit to that's bothering you. At the end of the day; don't take life too seriously. Let the angst go. There are places in this world where you could be homeless and live happier than you are now, if you're that depressed. You got this.

>>692605535
Got me good in the feels.

>>692605726
At least you had a girlfriend and a relationship. I dated my best friend for one day and she turned me down later that day for a stupid reason. Now I can't even look talk to her or look at her. I see her every day and I miss her everday. But now she hates me for something that doesn't matter anymore.

>>692602819
Don't deal with emotionally immature people. Those are the ones that will drag you down.
>use me for what?
You just explained how she emphasizes sex in her relationships. She wants to use you for sex. She wants someone to make her feel like she's worth something. Always seeking acceptance or attention from people. She wants the attention from her current bf but slso wants you to miss her. She seems like a narssicist.. Stay away. She might have "daddy issues" as well which causes a higher level of demand for attention from men.

>>692607645
Was she your first girlfriend?

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I had a dream the other night where I was with her, it felt so real and I got that cliché'd feeling in your chest and it felt amazing. It was the first time I felt happy and not alone. But alas, it was a dream.

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>>692588267
Here's a good ol story for y'all
>be me, about a year ago
>trucker my whole life
>not fat, but not really in shape either
>use computer alot on my free time
>find all these podcaster people on the internet who take callers and such
>give it a try and started my own show
>pretty basic stuff: Chatbar, callers, facetime, paid messages (top priority for business)
>Only get about 20 or so people a night
>fast forward weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks later
>my show is getting 10x amount of people now
>but also some bad news to go with it that destroyed my life
>one day all these new people flocked in, but started writing terrible stuff in the chat and calling in with
>stuff about hatting niggers and anti sematic shit
>next thing you know its just me, 200 assholes, and a feminist, and we're talking about massages and stuff
>imatruckerdamnit.jpeg
>this is supposed to be about trucking
>fastfoward to the worst day of my life
>the day I met bob croft
CONT.

>>692619571
>I'm an hour into the show
>general low lifes with bitch mothers
>feminist bitch there, hiding her bald spot as usual
>she wont stop yelling and talking about massages
>then fucking bob croft comes in
>OHSHIT.png
>im not prepared for this shit
>my show is practically 50% shit i get, 50% me complaining about shit i get
>im representing myself to the fucking ceo of the best fucking truck network in america
>imtruckingfucked.gif
>he sits down at computer currently covered in german gang lingos and "I hate niggers"
>activity on site is now 10x
>he doesnt see any of it
>he forgot his glasses
>im saved, but im dripping sweat
>he hasnt noticed that either
>keeping it cool, trying to hide it and let this end
CONT.

>>692606937
>learn to protect yourself bro

>>692620473
>bitchy bald assistant wont stop giving him apples
>she has an entire fucking baking pan of apple slices, at least 10 apples worth
>wtf just make him a sandwich
>decide not to say that
>Bob Croft still there
>He is frustrated that he cant see anything, tells me to read it
>its all NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA YONUG THUGZ I HATS NIGGERS
>start making stuff up as I go
>"it says that he thankful that your on the show and that your a really nice guy"
>actually beleives it
>the shallow end of the gene pool somehow figured this out too
>they're now posting 10x more offensive stuff in all caps
>he can read all of it now
>imdead.webm

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>>692588267
I would
cause I love you

>>692591416
How old are you? Save your money and come to Japan

>>692621274
>"YOUNG THUG MONEY SHOOT THE WHITEYS SOLAS"? what is this T?"
>"some people say mean stuff ervery now and then"
>mfw when im lying through my teeth to my future boss and I am dripping like a broken radiator
>"h-how about we get to the calls"

>>692621740
>we get to our first caller
>"FUCK MICHIGAN STADIUM"
>hang up
>"what was that T."
>"tha-that was a promo for michigan stadium"
>bullshit my way out
>next caller
>its a soundboard
>it goes "WELL WHAT IF I DONT HAVE A FUCKIN SOUND-"
>I end the call
>I think Bob gets what's going on now
>he may be fucking blind and retarded, but not that retarded
>he's trying to catch the messages on screen now
>most say he shouldnttrust me with specific details
>after reading for a minute, he probably thinks im a psychopath
>Next caller
>"long live the queen"
>hangs up
>fuck
CONT.

i just want a hug

>>692621505
be my waifu save me

>>692610885
Talking about the email not the poem. The fact that someone just opens his life up for anyone who needs a pal

>>692588267
I miss someone Ill never be able to find again. It hurts me so much....

>>692589211
>>692589147
>>692588406
I legit keep my birthday to myself now. Parents forget sometimes they call acouple days late and think that they got the right day though..

>>692622746
>fast forward 15 minutes
>nothing yet about trucking
>all prank calls and NIGGER
>bob's patience is wearing thin
>"my patience is wearing thin T"
>next caller
>"FUCK YOU"
>hangs up
>Bob is now leaving
>im almost in tears
>cmon bob, gimme another chance, three calls in a row that are good ill prove it
>Im practically begging him
>he sits down
>Hereitgoes.mp4
CONT.

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>>692623165

>>692591416
Looks like you only got one thing to complete to live the dream
Be happy about how far you've gotten and let your experiences aid you in the last search for the one waifu

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>>692623221
>ffirst call
>its another sound board
>its my voice
>"BOB CROFT IS A PILE OF SHIT"
>i hang up
>"one down the drain T"
>hes practically standing up
>my trusty truckker glasses and cheap dollar store hat hide my feels
>second call
>ITS A FUCKING SOUND MIxER OF MY VOICE IM FUCKED
>"Bob croft is a pile of shit, and I hope that bob croft sees our transmission on the trucking network, and hes a bitch. Thats what you are Bob croft, a basketball playing bitch. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"
>bob is already gone
>i break down in tears
>scream at everyone
>I deserve to be on trucking network
>IVE BEEN ON THIS SHOW AFTER WEEK AFTER WEEK AFTER WEEK AFTER WEEK AFTER WEEK AFTER WEEK AFTER WEEK AFTER WEEK AFTER WEEK AFTER WEEK AFTER WEEK AFTER WEEK AFTER WEEK AFTER WEEK AFTER WEEK AFTER WEEK
>Im a sad and broken man
>I DRIVE TRUCKS DAMNIT, AND THEY RUINED EVERYTHING
>I knock my camera over and end the show
>still never figured out who they are

It's been six months now and i've still been dealing with the same shit from the people who ruined my life. It's now my main income, and I cant take it anymore. I'm donating my truck to the trucking network right now. I've been considering killing myself for a while and I'm finally doing it. Thanks for being so kind to me bots, so here's a link to my most recent stream. It's my last.

https://twitter.com/T_Rucker1/status/748285996647616512

>>692623041
what's so gay about that? maybe he's just not dead inside like you?