That's a scorpion you silly faggot.

what your wife's going to be if you keep holding that.

Pretty sure that's the red hourglass spindler of kazakhstan

it's a bulldog

That's a red back, or a black widow

you an ausfag?

>>692490117
Spider /b/ro let him bite you. Super powers await

>>692490117
If it bites you, you get super powers.

>>692490117
aint and spider sir, is a kind of lizard from australia they call it the lagartija negra

>>692490117
8 legged fat time telling spider

>>692490337
That would only make sense if she intended to kill him

black window

>>692490117
It's an edible one.

>>692490447
Rolling for this

>>692490117
Its actually a tiny lizard

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>>692490117
It's a fucking cracker

Brown window

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>>692490598
i told him is a lizard call the lagartija negra

>>692490117

Kick-it Kenny

retarded bowtie spider

>>692490117

It's just a common garden spider

>>692490598
>>692490476
Wtf you beat me to it. I'm embarrassed so I'm going to leave this thread and never come back.

Three striped mud turtle

EAT IT EAT IT EAT IT!!!!!

>>692490117
An hourglass spider

Clean your finger nails, you dirty fuck

OP fucking throw that shit away is a frigging black widow, is really dangerous, throw that shit and kill it

>>692490117
Let it bite you OP. Then wait a few days. You will turn into spiderman.

Source: I watched the spiderman movie when it released in like 2002 and a spider bit him and he turned to spiderman

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put it back where i found it by mr spider

>>692490940
What for? OP is kill.

Build a fire and throw your house on it. Burn your car and clothes... burn your wife. Then run the fuck away.

It's a new technological advancement, a machine that can tell you how much will you live, on its backside, using an hourglass sprite

Nice frog

>>692490117

I do not know the scientific name for it but the common name is the "penis kissing" spider.... just put it on the head of your dick and it will "kiss" it.

Its an ant with a red bowtie

>>692490117
Aussie shitposting spider, mate you better cut the Internet

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it bit me hurts and turing red cant be that bad

Reck it randall

im totally sure this is from spiderman :V

single black female.

>>692491456
Just a flesh wound.

>>692490117
Timespider. If you let it bite you, it gives your body the ability to stop time.

Bye op, you lived a good one.

>>692491456
Ops image is crystal clear HD, this image is shit tier qualit which looks like a shitty iPhone. I'm calling bs and this isn't op

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>>692491456
you fucking dead fam

>>692491086
U should kill it m8 that shit can cause lots if pain

>>692491505
kek

>>692490337
>black
>widow

Oh, I get it! She'll be a widow if anon gets bitten.

But it won't be so bad for her, cause she'll be sucking black cocks all day!

>>692491456
Rip op

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>>692491456
that's a lizard bite dude! not bad, you could use the sun to warm your blood in some hours x_x

>>692491456
put it on your penis!!!!

have spiders ever been into space?

>>692490117

SHIT. BLACK WIDOW. KILL THAT THING.

>>692490117
>>692491086
>>692491456

Time stamp, prove it.

>>692490117

The female black widow spider is considered the most venomous spider in North America. The venom of the black widow spider is 15 times as toxic as the venom of the prairie rattlesnake.

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spider is doing nothing now

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rip op

>>692490117
Kidney Huntsman Spider.
When bitten, they plant a neuro-tracker in you that allows them to know your bodily functions for 24 hours. When asleep, they use their razor sharp incisors to cut open your skin and eat your kidneys. Only protection is a shovel. You're lucky though. That's a baby that has not yet learned the location of your kidneys.

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finger is swelling and turning red

Stop reply him. He is already dead.

>>692491456
Congrats you are the Spider Man now!

>>692492143
who's the other person with you?

>>692492143
Put spider on cock.

>>692491456
tis but a scratch

>>692492143

slap spider with your dick

>>692492226
hammertoe mcgillicutty

im gonna jizz on the spider

>>692490117
We have those in Michigan. The red hourglass on the belly means it's a black widow. They're extremely poisonous and can kill you. Put it down now and smash it. If it bites you, seek medical help immediately or you could die.

>>692490117
It's not a spider, it's a politician!

>>692492085

Just like me, because I haven't seen a timestamp so far. You post a picture where you put it back, but that picture is taken before you hold it (IMG_1269 -> IMG_1268).

But to be totally fair OP, I didn't believe you from post #1

>>692490117
No one had died from a Black Widow bite in U.S. in 10 years. They usually don't inject venom. You're fine.

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>>692492143
SO FUCKING DED LOL

>>692490117

Jam up your left nostril

>>692492143
The new spiderman is coming :v

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>>692492424
8/10 post anon

>>692492085
thats one pregnant ass spider

>>6924901777
Daddy Long Legs

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2 EZ

>>692490117
That's a plastic black widow, a tiny replica of the world's most deadly (to humans) venomous spider

Put it in your pooper

>>692492711
black mamba spider is way more venomous

>>692492490
>>>692490117 (OP)
>No one had died from a Black Widow bite in U.S. in 10 years
That's because most people are smart enough to go to a hospital after being bitten. Judging by past posts here, /b/ is not smart enough to seek medical care when injured.

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proof for yall

op get to a hospital now. if you've been bit by a black widow you have about 2 hours. you may feel nausea sweating and vomiting in 30-40mins

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>>692492887
Do you have Parkinsons? You write like you do.

>>692492996
>op get to a hospital now. if you've been bit by a black widow you have about 2 hours. you may feel nausea sweating and vomiting in 30-40mins

No... live stream on Youtube.
You could win today's Darwin Award!

>>692492711
If you knew shit you'd know the brown recluse is way more dangerous to humans

>>692492887
That's not the same spider

>>692492841
Thats also true, but like I said, they usually don't inject venom. BUT, because it looks pregnant as fuck, it would be best for him to go and seek wedical attention due to the fact its going to try to protect the babies.

>>692492887
jerk the poison out of you. its the only way

>>692493206
This

>>692493206
Rolling for it

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Take a better quality pic of the 'bite' and you should be safe

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>>692493337
so close /b/ro

>>692490117
it's the arachno spider

>>692492887
Uh oh, I hope that this is fake, with your finger and everything. If not and you're bit by black widow, you need to go to hospital now.

Don't worry OP, Piss on the spider bite. Urine is a natural disinfectant. Your welcome.

>>692493436
My roll almost won the day...
I must try once more...

FOR THE THREAD!!!!

>>692490117
take a bath you fucking skank

>>692490117
sup travis

>>692493831
omg wtf??!

It's a black widow. They're not really dangerous unless you're really old, really young, allergic, or really sick. Typically they won't even bite you, and even if they do, they're unlikely to even hospitalize you. You'll feel like you have the flu for a day and that's usually it.

>>692493831
im on my feet alot what do u want from me lol

>>692493952
>omg wtf??!
Holy hell. You need to be 18 to be on this site, shitface.

>>692493831
IDK what's going on in this picture, it's feet and ground, with a picture token from screenshot and not camera?

>>692492417
They're venemous, not poisonous. They're not really all that dangerous.

>>692494344
triggered, was easier than expected

I think op died

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>>692494523

>>692494704
There are worse ways to go. Granted, not many, but there are.

>>692494433
yes, they are very dangerous

>>692492143
ur friends toes look like small dick

>>692490117
Is a Scarjo spider

>>692492458
what if he took a picture before picking up the spider??.... OMFG NO WAY!!!! THAT IS NOT POSSIBLE!!!!

>>692494433
>>>692492417 (You)
>They're not really all that dangerous
I was bitten on my forehead by one when I was 7 years old. In a drawer somewhere I have pictures of the purple and yellow bruise that developed around the bite. They're very dangerous, and if I was born 100 years earlier I'd have died. Modern medicine is the only thing that can help OP is he was bitten and injected. Stop being such a retard.

>>692494082
no. You'll feel like you're dying for a few days. their venom causes your muscle to spasm, giving you muscle cramps that spread. you probably won't die, but you're supposed to goto the hospital because if the venom makes its way to your heart somehow, it will spasm as well.

pssssst OP IS A FAGGOT

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>>692490117
Lick it

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missed the spider

>>692493154
a brown recluse will fuck your shit up.

>>692495285
If you were born 100 years earlier you would have been dead by now anyway

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poked it

>>692495417

Shoot it with your AR15

>>692490297
a scorpion does not have 8 legs dumb fuck

>>692490117
Its probably a wolf-spider
note that they are venomous

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>>692490337
Thank you for that sensible chuckle.

>>692495526
twas not a poke faggot

>>692495526
is there a way to resize your penis, put it in your pants, let her bite you, in 2 hours you will get your penis bigger than ever, trust me already made that once in Australia

>>692495771
they call it the black viagra! tru dat

>>692495612
But they do.

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>>692495526
>>692495417
Op still alive.....and poking the spider

>>692495493
Infallible logic

>>692495526
please show timestamp of finger with spider on it

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>>692490337
BLACKED
Widow

Smoke the venom it gets you high. Not even joking.

>>692494373
Its cuz that persons' toes are spaced out

>>692496089
Le ebin cuck meme

Granddaddy Long Legs. Harmless. Keep as pet.

>>692495417
kek. try try again!

>>692490337
adolfed

>>692495771
trust this guy OP , telling the true about it

>>692495493
>being this fucking dense
Damn bro, neutron stars having nothing on you.

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Should I shoot it

>>692490117
Hey OP, it's my birthday. Can you please write "Happy Birthday Matt" on your spider?

>>692491860
>>692493952
>>692495363
>>692490892

Sure is summer in here

>>692496658
RECORD IT IN VIDEO

>>692496514
Thanks. My mom says I'm a star, too.

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>>692496658
With an airsoft gun?

>>692495612
Scorpions are arachnids, therefore they have eight legs. This I learned in grade four.

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I wanna shoot it

>>692496875
It dindu nuffin

>>692496875
Do it

>>692496658
nah spideys cool. maybe space program?
>webm very related
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Qc4gYY4ozs&feature=youtu.be

>>692496875
not even the same spider from OP
fake and gay

i think that's a black widow because of that red hourglass on the back. that's one of the deadliest spiders in Western U.S.

>>692491356
kek

>>692496862
They've changed it since then.

I'm a biologian.

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>>692496823
Your mind truly is infinitely small and infinitely dense.

>>692496875
Send him into space program

>>692490565
widow

hold on...

IS THAT GOOD SUCC IN THE BACKGROUND???

>>692497170
Mmhmm. My neurons are pretty tight. I'm like a computer.

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>>692495991
>>692496862

>falling for the bait

>>692497049
yes it is you fucking twat
the red hourglass is on the bottom

>>692497422
no its not, if OP had been bitten he would've been fucking dead by now

but you still see him shitpostin here with his damn airgun pistol?

>>692496658
100% kill that nigga

Is op kill?

>>692497532
A black widow bite isn't instadeath, even though OP is full of shit

>>692497167
You're a Biology?
I think you mean biologist idiot.

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>>692490117
Contrary to what the average person would conclude, that isn't a Black Widow. It's actually a spider that is colloquially titled the "Mimic". Because it lacks a venomous gland it has developed a near identical appearance to the Widow as a defense mechanism. If you look closely you will see that the part of the hourglass nearest the thorax is actually wider than the other end by a fraction. That is a common tell tale difference. It's completely harmless OP, and actually quite rare. Congrats on your find!

>>692497739
No, I'm a biological theologian at Liberty University.

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>>692497532
OP is the main character of this thread, so of course he won't die from it. Ever heard of plot armor?

>>692491701
>fam

Found the wigger

>>692495526
what is wrong with you OP? you want to die?

>>692497946
>wigger

Found the stormfag

>>692490117
It is your chance to become Spiderman, anon

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Holy shit, nigga! You better be goku, because there's only one kinda place a pattern like that comes from!

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Spider is in my gun

>>692498392
>Dr Gero spider confirmed
OP you better fucking run

>>692498529
Shoot it faggot

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>>692498529
ABANDON THREAD!

Make him a house to live in and keep him as your pet.

Call him Dennis

>>692498673
Noo, shoot someone else with it!

>>692498529
Give the spider the gun

>>692498963
Also, trade lives with it

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>>692498529

i gotta see this

>>692497883
The why didn't you say that in the first place?

>>692496862
Just in case this isn't bait, I can't resist dropping facts. Scorpions have six legs, and instead of another pair they have their snippy snippers. I'm not a scientist or anything but I live in NM, so I see the little shits all over.

>>692495493
If I ever had a debate team, you would be on it

>>692498529
Put gun in pants
Go to school
Shoot all gays

>>692499395
You are correct. Their pincers are counted in terms of appendages and so they are are arachnids.

>>692499395
Wow , I'm impressed by your amount of stupidity

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>>692499395
>snippy snippers
fun to say out loud.

>>692490117
Its a harmless Cunt Spider, You put that in your woman pussy and when you feed her pussy any semen that spider will eat all up. Honestly more people should be using more of them they make excellent prophylactics.

>>692498529

cum on it

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Elise feel and died good bye spider

>>692499728
RIP in peace

>>692499728
Rip in pepperoni

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>>692499395
>>692499675
>>692499641
>Kingdom: Animalia
>Phylum: Arthropoda
>Subphylum: Chelicerata
>Class: Arachnida

OP
how bold does it feel to hold in hand the worlds second most poisons spider?
stupid as fuck but great iron balls on OP

>>692500074
>>>692499395
>>>692499675 (You)
>>>692499641
>>Kingdom: Animalia
>>Phylum: Arthropoda
>>Subphylum: Chelicerata
>>Class: Arachnida
Actual biologist here.

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>>692499728
>RIP spider and RIP OP

>>692490429
Its a black widow... they have them in the US you faggot

>>692490117
That's a turtle, kiss it

>>692490117
I salute you OP.

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>>692490117

>>692492143
if this is not bait
I'd call an ambulance before you start going into cardiac arrest

>>692490429
That's a common black widow. Literally everywhere.

>>692501032
nah im fine i knew what it was the whole time it hurts but it wont killl me lol

>>692490117
spider is kill already go find one alive, i double dare you op

>>692501836
no, it will soon.
call fast

>>692502366
Throw it in the trash, anon.

>>692490684
wtf is that some kind of autism in-joke?

More pics op

>>692490521
or miss him

>>692490117
the Negress Relict

>>692490337
bond burgered ?

>>692490117
If it bit you,you're gonna be cancer-man

>>692503338
FUCK YOU CUNT FUCK FSCE

>>692490117

> Being this new
>Not recognizing the 8 legged pandora's box

shove your car key in the red keyhole to uncover the rarest memes

>>692491937
you never heard of the spiders from Mars?

>>692491456
Rip op

>>692491340
Kek. Underrated post

>>692498063
>stormfag
found the cancer

>>692503338
"oh...i was so scared *clap* " awesome... fucking idiot.... i don't know who can fall for this kind of stupid sheettt,

>>692497167
>biologian

Top bur. Fuck I laugh at stupid shit now.

R.I.P OP </3

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I want to be on the screencap :^)

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>>692505412
Me too pls

>>692502833

get in
>>692502833

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please let me be on screencap you cockgobbler

>>692506174
Fuck off

>>692492817
kek

>>692493482
Kill your fucking self.

>>692493952
Please leave.

>>692503260
Now clap your hands

Op, get to the hospital now. The others are fucking with you but believe me when I say that this is an extremely dangerous spider. You will die in hours if left untreated. All these idiots on 4 chan aren't helping at all. Op please go to the hospital, I don't want you to die.

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Oh yeah that's a Black Widow, we get them here all the time in Australia as well as Redbacks.

>>692490117
I think that's an AR-15

>>692500305
Regnum:Animalia and also Classis:Arachnida

FTFY, also a biologist here

>>692490117
its a black window

That must be one of those fully automatic assault spiders I'm afraid of constantly

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>>692490337
spicy & underated post but you have my appreciation.

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>>692503506
Underated post.