Met a guy on CL. Went to his place, drank and smoked it up for a bit. Let him bemd me over and use my ass for a bit, then he had his dog mount and fuck me while I sucked him to completion. Left and had dinner with my family.

>>692251134
is that a real flamingo

>>692251630
Similar to anon, I allowed my dog to fuck me when I was like 13. I was horny and experimental.

>>692251730
No

>>692251730
Yes :(

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I was putting some cold shawerma left overs in my microwave when i noticed a wasp was in there so i closed it out of panic and turned the micro on out of curiosty only to hear a small poof and finding it half melted on the side of it still remember it till this day

>>692251134
that is one cool bird you've got there

>>692251730
Of course it is dumb ass

>>692251134
Your mother

>>692251134
Molested step sister. Starting when I was 13, she was 8. I just started tapping

>>692252407
That's fucked up

>>692251630
Well you got me beat. Though I don't feel so bad about that actually lol

>>692251134
Pissed all over someone's brand new Jeep while I was drinking in Seattle.

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>>692252407
m-more info pls

>>692251134
Discovery of/b/

Me and my foster sister were the same age. We had a sexual relationship untill we moved apart

>>692252871
Kill yourself samefag pedophile

>>692251134
I have to get this off my chest again

> be hanging out with a group of dumb freshmen
> Little middle school kid we'll call Greg
> Nobody wants to admit it but we keep Greg around for pity
> One day we're all at friend with rich parents house
> Have a shock collar
> Do dumb things with it
> Peer pressure poor Greg to put it on
> Max voltage
> Door closed so he cant get out of range
> They're not giving Greg a break we're all laughing
> Kids crying on the floor hes not getting used to it
> they give him 3 seconds in between to try and fight back
> Just shock him again
> After a bit Greg gives up and lays on floor
> Let him out and he never came back again

I'd fucking shoot me and everyone in that room if I could.

>>692252871
She was blonde , skinny cutie with chipmunk
Cheeks. Parents would leave us home alone while they went to work. I watched porn with her and basically talked her into letting me finger her while giving me a hand job. Blew multiple leads on her chest/fafe

>>692253201
was she hot? if so lucky dog living my fantasy

Microwaved a live lizard and then fed it to my dog, fapped while wearing my mom's stolen panties and pantyhose, and stole a guy's wallet from his shopping cart. This was all when I was a kid, I don't go out of my room enough to do fucked up stuff these days.

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>>692253220
Kys failed samefag police

>>692253246
ive seen this in a different thread

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Too true.....

>>692253246
Poor Greg ;(

>>692251134
My girlfriend and I tried pegging and we bought a dildo thinking it would be "bigger than me but not too big." 2 inches wide seemed alright.

I took all 10"x2" of that giant black dildo and I liked it.

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>>692251134
When I was a teenager I used to vent my frustration with my useless club-bunny power slut mom by molesting her whenever shed pass out drunk/high at home.

Pic unrelated.

>>692253484
>reddit tabs

Dumped sugar in my asshole neighbors gas tank on his 2002 chevy cavalier..... he was poor as fuck and couldnt go on his hour long commute for the next week and a half and put him out of about 4 grand

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>Be me, 5 year old autistic faggot
>Outside with friend, have this fucking huge Tupperware box.
>Don't even know why we had it.
>Large rabbit that came out from the bushes
>Friend grabs rabbit and throws it in container
>Friend asks if he wants to see something cool.
>Whynot.jpg
>Friend goes to get lighter and jerry can from garage.
>Should of mentioned he's 14, oh well.
>Fills up container with gasoline.
>Sets container on fire.
>Rabbit won't stop fucking screaming while flailing around.
>I grab a stick that was lying around and begin to whack the rabbit.
>I eventually impale it on the stick.
>Rabbit Marshmallow.
>Rabbit keeps flailing as its roasted on the fire.
>Eventually stops moving.
>Friend disembowls it and throws guts into the almost melted Tupperware container.
>Friend tears out eyes and shoves it up the rabbit's no charred shithole.
>mfw I tortured and roasted a rabbit.
>mfw it probably had a family.

>>692253246
It's never too late faggot

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Brainwashed the ex to love being a cock hungry slut. Two and a half years later and she has two nigger babies.

>>692252407
eeeeeyyyyyy, same. Except no tapping. Would use her hand to jack me off when she slept. Licked her puss once.

>>692253540
Well i've posted about two other times, 1 in random 1 in advice. Makes me mad thinking about it.

>>692253844
What are tabs meme for 300 alex

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I've been with and manipulated 33 different girls over the past 9 years and purposely got them pregnant by any means necessary including making them miss their birth control pills, poking holes in condoms etc and made them have abortions. 26 of them were virgins too.

>>692253246
Right your wrongs, Anon

I fapped while in a car with both my parents and my younger brother

>>692253993
Supposed to say fapping. I used to do that too. She would wake up and pretend to be asleep

>>692253246
You're a weak shit. Crying on 4chan won't get you pity

>>692253337
more?

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Nostalgia tiem

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>>692254072
>implying u ever got laid

>>692254072
If this is true then I respect you. A real alpha passing his genes along any way he can.

>>692253859
duuuude thats edgy

>>692251134
My fleshlight

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>>692253550
>shilling this hard

>>692254208
story?

>>692254072
You don't have to lie just because it's the Internet and you're anonymous.

>>692254366
No one gets laid on 4chan. Let's just say I wasn't lying and 12 of them had 2 or more abortions.

>>692254323
I talked her into everything. She seemed to like fooling around for the most part, just seemed sort of timid at the same time. Had to be sorta coercive to her. She had the softest and tightest pussy I've ever felt. Ever.

Okay, this was about 8-9 years ago, I have never told anyone this before, not my family, my friends, my girlfriend. I just kept in inside.
>First year in University, meet this girl named Meghan.
>We begin to talk, she seems like my soul mate, we have everything in common and become good friends
>She was a Classics Major, I was in Poli Sci, but I took a lot of history/classics to fill out required courses for my degree.
> One day man up and ask her on a date, she seems thrilled and super excited to go
>Go to a movie, she grabs my hand, leans on my shoulder, etc, going well
>Afterwards we go for coffee and small talk, and out of nowhere she shuts down emotionally when I ask her, "So how was that book you were reading?"
>No idea what happened, she mentioned it before and it was just some trashy paperback, but everything changed after that moment
>Doesn't return my calls, stops showing up for our group projects, she'll sit next to me at the start of a lecture but outside a hello and a smile, doesn't talk to me and just run out of the door when it's done to avoid talking to me
>Finals roll around and it wasn't a course I was particularly interested in, so I didn't do all that well, but she aces it, I know this because of what happened next.
>Spoke to our other friend after the exam was done and went over answers, both written and mc
>I got maybe 70% on it, want to go ask the professor if maybe there was some way I could do an additional assignment or discuss my grade so my average doesn't drop.
>Go to his office, walking down the hall towards it, see he is on the phone
>Something must have happened because he seem a little panicked and got up to leave his office but shut the door and didn't lock it.
>This was like 9 pm at night, and no one was in the classics building because all the TAs had their own exams.
>He exits through the side hall and I go to his office door, it's unlocked and I go in.
>All exams right there on the table.
1/2

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>>692254395
I think you missed the part where

>abortion

was applied

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>>692254572
dont u lie to me pinhead larry

>12
>divorced parents
> living with mum
>she is a alcoholic and bipolar, mixes meds
>basically no adult supervision
>didn't go to school and had access to farm chemicals and the internet
>grew up fucking around with chemistry
>watch an episode of Simpson with chloroform in it, the one with the trash wall
>decide thats cool as fuck lets make it.
>didn't know it needed an ice bath as the reaction is exothermic
>everything goes bad, reaction goes out of control, get a huge breath of chloride gas/brown gas to the throat.
>in hospital for a month with blistered throat.

mfw i gassed myself

Mfw i can now scull alcohol without the burn because i don't have nerve endings in my throat.

>>692251134
When I was a kid I did a lot of fucked up stuff with animals. Me and my friends were really big into WWE at the time, so we caught a frog and choke slammed if on concrete.

>>692254208
I have done same

>>692254765
hurry up kiddo

>>692254338
Is this where the mudkips saying came from?

>>692255266
Me too, except it was my mom , stepdad, and step sis

When I was 14, my family let my mentally challenged cousin stay over for Christmas. He shared my room and I let him use my bed while I crashed on the floor. One night I wake up to him groping my ass. I roll over and he panics thinking I was gonna freak out, but I decided to just go with it. Pulled my cock out and had him suck it for a half hour. Came in his mouth and he swallowed no questions asked.

>>692255308
right here with ya

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>>692255335
Indeed it is newfriend

>>692254765
2/2
>I grab a spare exam booklet and testing sheet and write out perfect answers and a perfect test sheet
>Maybe took me 30 minutes, I was terrified but figured I could lie to anyone and say I was a TA marking if they came in
>Stuff the old exam/sheet in my backpack and prepare to leave, but then look down and see Meghan's exam maybe five from the top.
>Meghan was there on an academic bursary
>Take her exam, look at her answers, nearly perfect
Now, let me say here, Meghan did not have very good writing skills generally. and her actual hand writing is very easy to duplicate, like, near a high schoolers
>rage fills inside me, take the next two hours carefully writing out bullshit answers in a near flawless copy of her hand writing, completely bomb the mc section
>Slide her tests back into the pile with mine in random spots. walk out the door and be sure to push the lock on the way out
>A few weeks pass, she failed the exam, lost her bursary and Dean's list
>Forced to drop out because of her flunking, tries to argue that it wasn't her exam but the writing looks the same and the Professor practically explodes at the idea that she thinks HE changed her test and keeps saying it was her own fault etc etc.
>Next semester, see she isn't in any classes, had to leave school to work and save to try and get back into university.
And that is the shittiest thing I have ever done, ruined someone's life and academic career because she snubbed me. It feels really good to get this off my chest.

>>692251630
Male?

>>692255308
>>692255743
Sorry I didn't pre type this.

>>692255876
Yeah, I was like 19 at the time.

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>>692253859

>>69225587

I'm calling bullshit. I highly doubt her entire academic career was ruined because of that one test. She would've had to have failed a lot more work in that class.

>>692255872
Bitch was probably mental at that point

>>692255872
go do some charity work man. that is terrifyingly horrendous

>>692255872
so what book was she reading?

>be me, 3rd year of nursing school. Still working Two jobs and taking 24 credits that semester.
> have 8am practical study until about 4. Still living at home with an
>hour commute. Sisters cat is crying at the window well because she used to sneak it inside. Cat would
>meow every 4 minutes or so. Just enter enough so that I couldn't sleep. Walked to the window with my
>pistol. Opened it up and shot the cat in the head. Got up in the morning and threw it in a river on my
>way to class. Then helped her put up signs looking for it.

>>692256253
It was one of the courses that only had two exams for 30 % midterm and final for 70%, on the first one she didn't do great, maybe a B, so when she literally ended with something around 10-15% on the final, she failed it hardcore. I don't know how it works where you live, but at the university we went too, flunking a course when you were on bursary meant you were done.
>>692256490
I don't remember the name, I do remember it was a harlequin romance novel and it was part of a series she was reading, she loved that kind of stuff

>>692256799
fake, how could the cats head not explode, let alone not let any blood splatter, how did you clean it up?

>>692253679
Wait... I know you.

>>692251134

Man, where to begin.

I've spent the last year trying to stretch my back enough so I can suck my own cock. Still can't reach, but can lick the head.

I've let a snail crawl across my dick.

I've let an old friend come over to my work and stick a cucumber in my ass.

When I was a little younger, I had a neighbor friend I hung out with. We used to lock his bedroom door and 69 each other, and then I'd go home like nothing ever happened.

I've let 4 different male dogs have sex with me.

>>692256799
I spot the american redneck

>>692257156
There's no mistaking, you're a wanted man.

>>692256253
I agree. Failing 1 test may drop the class grade to maybe a C or D at the worst if she was a good student. That may drop the semester GPA to like 2.6-3.0. Usually you have another semester to make up for scholarships if you drop below the GPA needed and from my experience there are full rides that only require 3.0s

>>692257244
Someone post the "Lord of the Snails" Greentext

>>692257156
Most likely.

>>692255872
Why'd you think she started avoiding you after asking about the book?

>>692254072
Have fun wit dat child support, mane.

I was a catfish online for 2 years dating emo chicks when I was in school. I had social anxiety and depression and no self confidence to do anything myself. No solid relationship ever but I still feel pretty bad about it to this day.

>>692256799
>>692255872
Fuck you both, die slow motherfuckers

>>692257095
It is only a .22 basically made a small hole. The cat coiled in a circle for a few seconds and then stopped.

>>692257554
Lmafo, beta faggot

>>692256799
Why the fuck are you greentexting like that you faggot?

>>692257893
Very true.

>>692257316
It wasn't a matter of her GPA dropping so much as it was if you failed a course, and you were on an academic bursary you lost it. I have no doubts she could have retaken the class and brought her marks back up or taken a summer course, but because she lost her assistance she couldn't afford to go. She was denied financial aid and her family wasn't well off, so that was her only way of paying to go to school.
>>692257517
I've been thinking about that for years. If it's any consultation to everyone, about four years later she went back and finished her degree. I replay it over in my head from time to time, wondering if I said something wrong or insulting, but literally we had a nice date up to that moment, and it wasn't like she got up and left after that, just decidedly had a different emotional tone. We still talked for maybe an hour and a half over coffee than another hour at our cars before we drove off, but you could tell something else was on her mind. I still don't know, I wish I could ask her but obviously we have long since lost contact.

>>692251134

I once walked through a guys backyard UNINVITED

>>692257774
I'm gonna pray that someone leaves a small hole in your head. Motherfucking bitch nigger

>>692257156
Which thread were you in?

>>692257156
I'm with the guild

>>692253951
How did you brainwash her?

>>692258086
Holy fucking shit how did you get away with it?

>>692257955
Newbie, had to watch a YouTube video to see how to green text

>>692257156
I'm the Jarl's thane, I demand you release me at once!

Also is that LSA?

>>692257279
That's probably fair, as much as I hate it.

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>>692251958
Hey, that's pretty good

>>692258309
Dark clothes at midnight

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Need to get this off my chest

Around the age of 2nd grade me and my younger cousin experimented and she was a little younger than me. We did oral to eachother and we never had intercourse we would just rub up on one another. I did try to put it in her ass one time i remember being a little horny bastard. She then eventually told my aunt and my aunt confronted me about it, on my older cousins birthday. Never got to see him for a long time, but now that we are older we hangout and shit. The family is fucked up over it still.

I've done sexual things with my female dogs in the past. Never intercourse, but rubbing and oral, sometimes was able to get my whole dick in their mouths. Always fantasized about intercourse with one of them but I never did it.

Sometimes if i'm tired of using my hand to jerk off, i'll go fill up a plastic bag with conditioner from my shower, and a little bit of water. I place it between two pillows and i fuck it while i watch porn. It's weird because i get laid quite a bit too so i figure it's kind of creative.

All of this is crazy because in real life if people knew these things I would be a completely different person in a completely different place.

tldr; I had a fucking weird childhood

When I was about 5 years old all the way up to about 8 I would look for dead animals and get the family pets to go outside and act lost so they killed any animal nearby (we had a few cats that caught birds if they got out and a few pits and one black lab). I'd let a cat out if I wanted to mess with a bird carcass and a dog if I wanted to mess with something bigger. Never got found out but I stopped when I let my favorite kitten out on accident. It got too close to the neighbor's dog and in the night I saw the neighbor walk over and put a pop-tart box in our trashcan. I opened the trashcan and opened the box and saw maggots and a ripped open kitten.

And even today I don't like cats or dogs anymore, I just never want them again

>>692257289
>>692258211
Kek

>>692258168
The one about the dude with two sisters and a mom slut and he'd molest her and stuff. I think it was either yesterday or the day before that.

>>692251630
Faggot

>>692258530
Gotta remember that conditioner trick...thanks anon

>>692258149
It's happened before. Will probably happen again.

>>692258623
Anons Ina thread last night actually convinced him to call his mom. He reported in on things earlier today.

>>692253402
how much of that is fabricated?

>>692254512
Here you go:
>on a roadtrip from Las Vegas to San Fransisco
>bored af
>say fuck it and decide to fap
>both parents + brother in the car
>take a hoodie and put it over my dick
>slowly fap until I cum
>fast forward 3 months
>having a party at my house
>a bat takes a shit on a girl's shirt
>she asks me to give her something to wear
>give her the hoodie I came in
>still haven't cleaned it
>wears it for the entire party
>doesn't have a change of clothes so she takes it home
>Tell her she can keep it when she tries to return it
To this day I've seen her using it a couple of times and everytime I do I laugh hard without her knowing why. This week I saw a snap of one of her friends wearing it

>>692256799
Good man. An animal is only as tolerable as it is quiet.

>>692251134
Is that a real giraffee?

>>692256799
Learn to greentext you phaggit

>>692259429
Yes

I wait for natural distasters to happen in 3rd world countries so i can go there and fuck young girls for little money.
Haiti was the best BY FAR.

In junior high school, we had a pay phone on campus. Between classes I would pass by it and call Love Line or random 900 numbers and laugh. One day I get it in my stupid adolescent brain that it would be funny if I called 9-1-1 and leave the receiver hanging. I did. And when the police arrived, another student had picked up the phone to see if someone was on the other end. She got blamed and banned from that school district. As well as having to go to a course that taught to not abuse 9-1-1. I hope I didn't totally fuck up her life. (Sorry for the wall of text, hard to do paragraphs on mobile.

I sometimes visit /pol/

When I was in middle school I found my dads fleshlight and used it repeatedly

>>692259429
No, dipshit. That's obviously a donkey. Fuckin newfag

I picked up a chick yesterday to drink and hangout in my car. Got drunk, she sucked me off and fucked. My car turned off and wouldn't turn on... Stole $60 out of her wallet and used it to call a towtruck to jump start me, parked my car at home and made her cab it home lol.

>>692259254
>a bat takes a shit on a girl's shirt
Do you live in a fucking cave?

>>692259254
Thats not evil, thats being a fucking champ

>>692259938
Eww.

>>692260136
Nope, the neighborhood just fills up with bats past 8pm

>>692257520
>abortions
It's like you people don't read before posting.

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>>692259254

>>692258796
wot. How did that go? Screencaps?

>>692253951
Your nigger babies?

If not it kind of backfired on you

>>692260876
It says its his ex. Not his current gf

>>692260821
I didn't bother screen capping any of it but some godlike grizzled oldfags came in and dropped some wisdom about life and getting past guilt on him. He then just called his mom. (Okay well technically he called her disconnected phone then called his grandfather to get her number THEN he called her). They had lunch today. He said he was going to hang out with his sisters tonight. Movie night I think. Turns out his mom pretty much always knew.

>>692260821
Okay well I'm (story OP) actually back now, so if you have questions feel free to ask.

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>>692254072
This dosen't make any scense
why bother imprego when you are making them get aborto anyway?
If you put "for the lulz" you are just a dumb fuck

>be me
>14 y/o
>older sisters bf is living with us
>he's 17
>we are very mischevious when together and bored
>looking for something to do one night
>tired of smashing windows and shit
>looking in the garage for anything that will spark an idea
>find jug of gas
>bingo
>carry gas through backyards to get to local park
>douse jungle gym
>light em up
>run like hell with jug back home

I did a lot of dumb shit in middle school

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>>692257377

>>692251134
Dated a girl all through highschool. Really loved her. Then one day she had to go and get brain cancer, and I dropped her faster than you can say chemo therapy.

>>692262629
thank you anon

>>692258546
You ever tell your parents about your neighbor and the cat?

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>>692262629

>>692253246
You still can!

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>>692255398
Faggot
you're more of a mental case than your cuz

>>692253246
It's never too late anon. We believe in you.

>>692261560
She knew about every time?

>>692261334
Thanks, anon.

When I was in 9th grade I was hanging around this girl all day thinkin imma get that pussy, she clearly wants me but her god damn little step sister she hated (kid was maybe 11 or 12) wouldn't leave us alone so we ended up leading her out into the woods behind their house. My girl slapped around and humiliated her then we raped her.

At the time I just kinda went along with it because a super hot tblond chick wanted me to do sexy things, but when I got home I threw up thinking about it.

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>>692261561
Because I wanted to. I did not enjoy being with any of them on any sort of emotional level.

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>>692264126
Not exactly but she had a pretty solid idea.she knew I hated her guts and she knew that she was unconcious and vulnerable around me all the time, so she'd always assumed, but she really only had confirmation from a few half remembered times and the time we actually had sex.

Pic totally unrelated.

>>692264445
Holy shit. Where do you live?

i downloaded a movie ILLEGALY

Jerked off in mom's panties this morning

>>692258634
Well, yeah. What led.you to that? The dog fucking me or me sucking the dude off?

Cheated on my girlfriend by having sex with a 6/10 girl in her pool at a party. We were hammered so it was bound to happen.

>>692251134
Helped my sister get nudes off a rival girl's phone and computer and spread them around. Her popularity Plummetted and most of her friends quit talking to her. It was supposed to be revenge for this girl bullying my sister but what I didn't know was that this girls family was super religious. They kicked her out of the house. Her entire life had basically gone to shit. I elt so guilty that I stopped to talk to her one day and found out she'd attempted suicide twice since we'd outed her. She had no more friends or other family either so out of guilt my sister and I let her stay with us. She ended up going to the same college as my sister and we've all been good friends since. I actually started dating her about a year ago. Every now and then she'll still break down and cry, thanking my sister and I for being there when her real family wouldn't.

>>692254724
well she was underage as fuck so there that, faggot

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>>692257244
>>692257377
>>692262629

>be 14
>out fucking around with a couple friends
>pass elementary school i used to go to
>decide to break into portable
>completely trash portable
>break stuff
>throw everything around
>smash television
>piss everywhere
>wipe our asses with random papers
>leave portable
>smash a few windows on the schools main building
>all go back to friends house and play xbox

>>692256799
You are a fucking douchebag

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>>692257554

>>692264662
so youre retarded or what?

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>>692266229
>be 14
>out fucking around with a couple friends
>pass elementary school i used to go to
>decide to break into portable
>completely trash portable
>break stuff
>throw everything around
>smash television
>piss everywhere
>wipe our asses with random papers

>>692264729
post pic of her. how did lunch go?

>>692265802
She ever find out?

>>692266590
Ive done alot of other stupid shit when i was a kid

>>692251134
I shot my new pet kitten with a .22 handgun, it twitched for like 5 minutes after the headshot. Left it to drown. Fucked me up, anon. Fucked me up.

>>692266697
I am not putting pictures of my mom on 4chan. Literally no one has ever done that.

>Lunch
Fine. Surprisingly chill, all things considered. SUPER awkward and quiet at first but once we got talking it was fine. Finally got talking after we left the restaurant and went to go walk around a park for a bit to keep talking. That's when she told me she'd pretty much always known, told me why shed always been such a cold distant bitch, told me how my sisters had been handling things. She real casually complimented my cock, which was weird.

>>692266739
Nope. Never. Can't imagine Wed ever tell her either.

>>692267133
Kys

>>692267156
so you going to try to fuck her again? does she still look good? because from what i remembered you stated she was a smoke show

>>692267245
You have to tell her. You're carrying a ghost on your shoulders. It will haunt you after you guys stop seeing each other.

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>>692259254
3 months without washing cum out
I'm surprised it didn't grow mushrooms

>>692267649
i agree with this anon. Itll probably be the reason it doesnt work out. better to tell her now and deal with it now.

>>692267420
>Going to fuck her again
Not a chance. Right now we're just hoping we can get things patched up enough that we can be a somewhat normal family again. As good as both of our poker faces were I could tell that conversation had a hell of a lot of live wires we could have tripped to set things off. It'll probably be touch and go for a bit even if we are both trying to be civil.

>Looks good
God yes. I was doing my best not to notice but she looks great. She wears her hair longer than she used to and it got maybe half a shade lighter too, putting it somewhere just in this side of literally white-blonde. Also more toned than she ever used to be. Not like muscle girl or anything, but even through her clothes i could tell her stomach was more toned than it used to be and her ass looks better, though to fat loss from exercise means her breasts might be a bit smaller.

Plus she just looks great. Happy. Healthy. Not as stressed as I'm used to seeing her. Hell, she smiled at me more in This one day than my entire freaking life before today.

>>692259829
Enjoy your AIDS

>>692267649
>>692267815
Honestly I'm not sure if we will ever stop dating. She's my sisters best friend, our parents like her, and I lover her more than any girl I've ever been with. I can't jeopardize that by telling her.

>>692268286
well even if you two grow up to be with each other, youd have to tell her someday, her reaction could be that she dumps you and never talk to you and hate you, but at least youd get it of your chest for good.

>>692265802
Nah niggah

Used to blackmail my neighbor with some nudes of hers. Got blowjobs by not sending the pictures to her father. Ended up blackmailing her to get even more incriminating pics which I just used to blackmail her some more.

>>692268656
>youd have to tell her someday
False.

>>692253679
Oh hey! I remember you! What's up LSA?

Killed a guy to escape after I stole from him, turns out he was fairly suicidal. Which was something I could relate to, I had stolen his entore savings which he kept in a suitcase... and a picture of a little girl who I only asummed was his dead daughter.

>>692268656
I think it's funny how you think getting a little guilt off his chest is totally worth losing the love of his life.

>>692251134
My friends and I used to jump and beat up the occasional homeless person like it was The Purge or clockwork orange or some shit.

Tried to go for old people or women when we could, that's what was safest plus they were the most fun.

Only stopped when one of our group got killed doing this.

>>692269496
i just want this nigga to stop being a lil bitch and tell her already, and him losing the love of his life is a good punishment for what he did to the love of his life.

>>692255108
My god! Hes on top of the ladderCHOKE SLAM!

>>692269860
great fucking movie
clockwork orange not the purge

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>>692269321
Well thats just...

>>692269862
Look, when it comes down to it I can either keep my mouth shut and by doing so preserve the happiness of my girlfriend, my sister, and my family, or I can risk all that just to clear the air. Yeah thanks but I'll just live with a little guilt.

>>692251958
Thats not fucked up, that makes sense. Fucker needed to die

>>692251134
Raped my little sister.

No big greentext or story.

I was 17 she was 14.

Just came home drunk from a party one day. I thought she was being a bitch and she looked cute in those pajamas so I held her down and fucked her.

Only happened once and we never spoke about it ever again.

>>692270183
i just hate it when people lie to themselves, but tbh, id probably do the same. call me hypcrite wooptiefuckingdoo

>>692251134
Jerked a horse once best experience ever!

>>692254971
That's not bad, just monumentally stupid

>>692251134
I saw a naked girl on the internet one time

On holiday once i caught a cockroach in a glass (brit so not used to them), wasnt sure what to do so slid paper under glass and carefully lifted and then placed it on top of electric stove and removed the paper. Turned on the heat and watched it run around until it stopped. Lasted longer than expected

>>692270694
How is he lying to himself? He's lying to HER. Get the story straight anon, you seem confused.

>>692270724
it was for science and science paid up

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>>692270828
That's pretty fucked up.
Now that you're a serial killer, how do you kill people?

>>692271054
sorry im tired just out of work, im done for tonight since you metioned it fucker

Used to kick the shit out of my girlfriend's retarded brother because i hated how he took up all her time. he couldn't speak well enough to tell anyone so I never got caught though. People assumed the bruises were his own doing because the tard was always running in to shit or falling down.

>>692270724
>>692271067
tbh since then, i have actually studied chemistry and proper lab safety standards and accomplished far greater and challenging feats then just making a simple solvent completely safely.

I once got drunk and removed a pound of flesh from my body, mostly from my thighs and a toe. I also made a video of it and uploaded it to the internet. I regret both of these things. I think I was upset about Obama or something; I don't even remember anymore.

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>>692265802
>>692269860
>>692270679
That's some messed up shit right there.

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...this thread makes me happy...

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I once set my flat on fire with my flat mates still asleep in there. But only a little bit, they could put out the flames by themselves after they woke up from the smoke.

Another time I'd break into unoccupied houses and just sleep in there overnight. One time I was somehow getting the keys to a flat with a chick asleep in there. I think I kinda wanted to rape her, but she woke up and we talked and I gave her the keys to her flat back, and leave her alone.

>>692271083
Ive stuck to insects, i just dont like them. Yesterday it was a spider that i blowtorched from the ceiling. I dont think its psycho though, insects are gross

>>692270679
That doesn't get awkward at family dinners?

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>>692271987
Oh okay.
I know from experience that carburetor cleaner spray works pretty good as flamethrower fuel on spiders...

>>692272209
I used insecticide spray, start with that and as they get a little weaker add the flame to the stream to finish them off. Dont wanna get near the buggers

>>692272204
Not really. She forgave me for it years ago. Still think about it every time I see her.

>>692266531
Fantastic retort, you come up with that all by your self?

>>692272584
yourself*

>>692271554
>Americans are so fucking retarded.

>>692253679
Hey, aren't you the anon who convinced your mother that you were another guy and got a blowjob from her at 17?

>>692271396
wow youre a dick. made me lost though so i take it back

>>692251958
FUCK WASPS

I write fake greentext stories on the chan.

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>>692272750
Classic.

>>692271554
are you talking about this?
www.bestgore.com/extreme-body-mods/desperate-american-cutoff-pound-own-flesh-offer-obama/

>>692254570
Would someone really do that? Would someone lie on the Internet?

>>692257618
>Wake me up
>Can't wake up

>>692251134
>Have fat-faced faggot of a Filipino roommate
>Manager at same fast food restaurant I work at
>he tries to fuck me over constantly
>In 2013, have heart issue and go live with parents for a bit
>come back, and he's fucked over my friends.
>He moves out, still acts like a dick
>Fucker forgets to change his fucking mailing address
>start grabbing his mail and tossing it
>Barely catches on. The one time I goof, he practically does nothing about it.
>Just glares at me
>Keep doing it, because fuck him. Try to get me fired, you bitch? No? I'm good with the head manager? Fuck you, flip. Oops. There goes another credit card bill you never paid, fucking idiot.
>One day something real important comes in. Wonder what it is? Guess I'll actually hold on to it and give it to him if he asks.
>IF he asks
>At some point, notice goes up that he's "going on vacation" and needs somebody to cover for him while he's gone
>Dense motherfucker I am, and because fuck yeah, he's fucking off for a while, I never ask what's up.
>Last day I see this dumb fuck, he's helping another Filipino roommate I had no qualms with fix a door.
>With a knife.
>because what are tools?
>What does he do?
>mock stabs at me with the knife
>Get angry, and leave house because I was heading out to do some shit, forget to mention mail.
>A month or two later, I find out he had to go back to his shithole country because his immigration papers never showed.
>Could it be?
> Commit a felony and open that shit. Yep.
>Guess I just found some toilet paper, son!
>flush that shit... and the evidence
>continue to toss his mail in the dumpster at work and lie about not seeing anything for him come in.
>Go through hoops to make sure I get a hold of the mail, a task made easier by the mail service deciding to deliver mail to only communal mailboxes.
>I get the only key, and continue to toss his final notices until I move out.
>A year later, the town and my old house burn down
Everything worked out better than expected!

>>692272853
Among other this, yes. For continued events on that story see
>>692258796
>>692261334
>>692264729
>>692268044

>>692269496
And destroying her life again. He really shouldn't tell her

>>692254279
Are you greg? :(

>>692273337
the fucking town burned down?

>>692273874
Yup. Sorta.

There was a huge forest fire that kinda... spread... For about a month.

i would catch whatever i could whether it be a small dog cat or frog whatever and i would kill it and shove it into a near by mail box

>>692272993
>>692271554


I need to know it it's you!!! And I need a pic of your leg right now. This disturbs me on so many levels

>>692253859
gummo up in here

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>>692269056
dat's some hentai-plot right there mah nig

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>>692253859
>Should of mentioned he's 14, oh well.
>should of
>should of
>should of
kys

>>692269862
>punishment
Christfag spotted.

>>692273401
Huh, nice to know that you two are trying to be on good terms.

>>692274420
im an edgelord athiest actually

>>692271554
dude you're metal as fuck
mostly just stupid but also pretty metal

>>692274410
You want you hentai plot? See >>692253679

>>692270090
WAIT THE PURGE ISN'T A GOOD MOVIE

>>692274729
b8?
anyhow
>not the purge

>>692267133
You should consider offing yourself realistically

>>692251134
My first and last time with a shemale was with a very beautiful shemale... more beautiful then my current gf.

>>692253679
lsa?

>>692274935
not b8 just sarcasm
don't know if you can tell by the all caps but I tried my best

>>692258516
fag

I held a kid underwater for pretty long. freaked em out. felt terrible about it

>>692260275
are you from queensland?

>>692275526
the caps made me think it was an unarage b& b8r

>>692275651
lol nah
CO is sick tho. Kubrick is the best director of all time imo

>>692251134
In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max’s toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog…When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I went nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out…But the worst thing I ever done — I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa — and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.

>>692275747
i remember watching that after an acid trip and goddamn it was one of the best narrative movies ive ever seen if not thee

>>692275778
god tier prank tbh

>>692276018
yo at least you didn't watch it while on acid lol that shit would be too crazy

>>692251134
Put peanut butter on my balls and let my dog lick it off....felt shame, never did it again

Recently I was really drunk at a friends house, his parents were having some neighborhood party, some girl passed out upstairs, I went in there to get my phone I had left charging in the room she passed out in, I started testing her consciousness, kinda talking to her to see if she responded. Nothing. I took off her socks...nothing...sucked on her toes (i has that fetish) nothing. Rubbed my dick on her face, nothing...kinda felt her up....then just left. Shameful. She was a 6/10 I'd say.