OR NOT

I spent my twenties working for a retail operation. I stole thousands of dollars of merch, food, and cash during my time there.

>>692154846
I want to die

>>692155463
good work. coolest/most expensive thing u stole?

>>692155742
DVD box sets. During my final years there one of my responsibilities involved shipping orders to customers so it was incredibly easy to ship myself a full box of product and alter the shipping records.

I fapped watching White Chicks at 12 yrs old.

>>692155594
that's just good sense

>>692155935
nice. do you currently work at mcdonalds and steal chicken nuggets?

>>692155977
To the wayans?

Molested by the back of my car in my mom's uncle.

>>692156517
Got. Go into detail?

i videotape by wife masturbating and i let a friend of mine watch one of the videos recently.

>>692156517
How did a car molest you in the back of your uncle?

>>692156759
Does she know you tape her/share it?

>>692156129
All I steal from my current employer is time, I'm logged in and should be working but I've spent all day on 4chan and watching youtube. I've done maybe four hours of work in the entire month.

I repeatedly fap on a handmade "cushion" candle that is on the toilet at work, nobody suspects a thing, I love fapping at weird places aswell, We got an upstairs for example, Where nobody comes, just an entire empty upper floor full with old stuff ( it used to be a youth activity centre) i have came on alot of stuffed animals, Came inside a Guess Who? board game aswell.

>>692156787
his mom's uncle anon

I like to lie on my back and cum on my face

I have only one testicale

I have been s!eeping with my sister in law for 20 years. Now she is widowed my wife thinks I do gardening for her

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>>692154846
when i bartended, i would lick the rims of glasses of assholes and bad tippers...i have mouth herpes. ill never forget the time a hipster nu-male with a styled moustached yelled at me for not putting enough bitters in his hold fashioned...i hope hes enjoying the "cold sores"

Fucked my cousin when I was 16. She was 38.

this was long ago but when I was 17 I took the v of my sister's 12yo best friend. we both agreed to keep it secret, ive never told anyone except anonymously here. Dk if she ever told anyone or not, this was 7+ years ago. we also fucked quite a few other times

Got a girl I know 1200 miles away from me to fall for me (we fell for each other really) and now I'm looking for someone else. Not too bad of a secret, just makes me feel like an asshole

>>692157201
Paedo

I'm planning on burning myself alive within the next couple years or so.

>>692156872
"Secrets" fucking idiot

>>692157121
Go on. Why do you do it? Not even sex from wife or just thrills. How/when did it start?

>>692157353
i said 12, not 2

>>692154846
you don't say

I constantly steal panties from friends when given the chance. They're some of the best orgasms i've ever had with them.

Work on hotel reception > charge parking fees > cheat on report > profit 150 €/day > do It for 25 days/month > be There 8 months > open myself bizz due to quick money > Rich As Fuck today > true story > fur fan btw....

Every few weeks i go on a slut-binge and have all kinds of risky gay sex with strangers from the internet. I have untreated STD's and i never tell my partners. I particularly love sucking cocks at gloryholes or in public restrooms.

Once i got pissed my ex didnt wanted to fuck but shr wanted to have me cook dinner so i cooked the god damn thing extra creamy if u know what i mean it was strange as tho doing wrong was sexually arousing to cum all over her omelette. Funny thing is that i asked her if she liked it n she said it taste great only to later fuck in the evening lol

>>692154846
I'm zoophile.

And nobody in my familly seem to care about it.

>>692157891
I think you just discovered the secret to making her horny. Feed her cum.

I'm a furry.

But it could be worse.

Could be a brony.

>>692157420
I met her in a pub, we clicked and became sex buddies. I met her sister and ended up marrying her. My wife doesn't know that I knew her sister before her. The 2 sisters came to my place of work so I started chatting both of them up pretending I had never met the married one.

>>692157363
What

I'm terrified of being sick and it embarrasses me so much that I'm so scared of something natural. I've not spewed in at least 8 years.

IM VOTING TRUMP

>>692157716
I do that just can't help myself

I fap to the thought of my grandma shitting herself.

>>692157639
> green text
> learn it

>>692158259
not trying to moral-fag but your sister in law is cold blooded.

I want to leave everything and move to Germany but i don't have the courage to do that.

>>692158027
You just might be on to something there mate

>>692158324
Gonna put on some music, take some drugs, lay back somewhere where i can look up at the stars, cover myself in some accelerant of some sort & just let it happen. That's the basic plan, still working on the details though.

I hate my gf's roommate--she's this mouthy know-it-all ugly bitch--but I started getting blowjobs from her and i think I'm addicted.

I used to work as overnight security at a university dorm with 70% female student occupancy. Students age ranged from 17-20.

I often went into each of the hot girl's rooms while they were out or away to sniff their dirty panties and socks. I would put their panties on my face as a mask, and put their sock over my dick like a condom and fap until I blew a load into their socks.

No one ever found out.

When I was a teenager every time I took my dog for a walk I would let him fuck me

>>692154846
I look at young girls

>>692154846
my secret is......
ALLAHU AKABAR !!!!!

>>692154846
I try my best to be a good person but deep down I really do hate blacks and muslims. I just can't help it I hate them so god damn much and I don't know why. I act like I don't like trump's idea to ship off the Muslims off when it comes up at work but deep down I want him to do it so bad. I seriously wish I could join the KKK but I don't want to risk being outed as a racist and get fired from work.

>>692158990
how young

>>692157138
you do know 90% of the population already has mouth herpes, its not like you gave him aids you fag

>>692158817
why to germany?

>>692158948
That is some ultra cringe shit right there

>>692158703
Sex is great think her kids are mine

I hate my life

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I Put 2 loads of cum in my bosses tube of Summers Eve Anti-itch cream that she keeps under the sink in the office restroom.

They wouldnt be very secret if they were posted, would they be?

>>692156759

that's fucking hot.

>>692158944
awesome! got any pics off the wicked witch who's sucking you off?

>>692159186
I really love this country, it seems like the best place to live in Europe these days.

>>692159335
SUPER HOT SUPER HOT SUPER HOT
IT WAS A TRAP

>>692154846
One time i was at work eating lunch and I took a slice of pizza in the bathroom with me, came on it and then ate it. I don't even know why I did it.

>>692159240
This is your boss!! I am six weeks pregnant. You'll notice that your check is 63% less than normal, thats for the child support for the next 18 YEARS!!!

>>692156872
no
>>692159335
that's what he said

> Be me
> Talking to gfs sisters bf
> hes drunk
> He lets slip she has a disgusting fantasy
> She wants to be fucked by a fog
> mfw seeing a hot girl fucked by a dog is my fantasy
> "yeah bro thats gross"
> Keep it a secret
> Love my girl but shes never willing to try anything new in the bed
> Really close to her sister
> I get the feeling if it was ok with my gf her sister would be up for anything
> Also know her sis would never ever go behind gfs back
> Tfw no way to ever make it happen
> So close yet so far

>>692158598
thats fucked up anon

>>692159715
??

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I am incredibly racist but only between 1-2 o clock in the morning
Also Don't know why

>>692159676
Sorry but my bosses had her tubes burned so no more kids for her.

>>692159218
Is your wife a bitch or do you just get kicks out of it?
>sorry for overcuriousity. Virgin, you know

Raped 3 previous gf's in their sleep, i guess 1 of them doesnt count as rape as she consented beforehand and I got to use her sleeping 17yo pussy errynight.

>>692159450
where are you from?

>>692156363
Yes

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>>692159342
like i said, ugly

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>>692158598

Walmart fag here. I found a credit card once. Used it to get $250 on steam. Still have like $75 left.

My sister is pregnant and it might be mine.

>>692160310
Hot af

Watching murders turns me on. I don't even fucking know why. Even animals killing animals for food turns me fucking on.

>>692160275
Did you keep the card
If so post it

I fantasize about making convincing fakes of my onnocent virgin gf in party gangbang porn or with old guys and dogs
> anonymously sending them to her father
>over time send enough that he starts wanting her
> set up hidden cam in her room
> when i think the magic has worked get her drunk and slip her some sleeping pills
> spread the video

>>692157142
lucky!!!

>>692159793
That sucks

I just want to fuck my cousin

>>692156959
The /b/tard lyfe

>>692160047
Israel, what an irony... :)

>>692160464
I did this, but with this bitch I worked with. Found a girl who looked eerily similar, edited it enough to fix the differences, and emailed them to people at work. Also mailed copies to her family. She quit a couple months later.

>>692157201
Paedophile

I identify as an attack helicopter.

>>692160632
sand nigger or different?

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19 y/o ladies and gents
pic says it all

>>692160596
I could've fucked my cousin but was too much of a bitch to do it. Her eyes used to light up everytime I came around but I was too much of a retard to pick up on the Please-Fuck-Me face she always gave me. She's overseas and married now.

>>692160310
"might" Be?

>>692158948

pics or it didn't happen

>>692160457
I deleted the pics in fear someone would wonder why I had them. And no, I chopped it up and threw it away. I've never told anyone about it.

>>692157363
Plan something else, why do you want to go with so much pain when you can have an easy death, but then again why have a death at all

>>692160812
nahhhh, a regular kike.

>>692160118
then why do you fuck with her?

>>692158951

story

>>692160690
Hot. I'd just do it to her father, something turns me on about him going from raging thinking his virgin daughters a slut to eventually craving the next picture until pictures aren't enough and he needs to try her himself - then getting it all on cam and sending it everywhere

>>692155977
Awesome I lost my virginity with it in the background

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>>692154846
No one can beat me in Haxball

>this happened (came to an end today)
>be me
>be some 6/10 dude finish school next year
>shy.java
>like some girl
>for like half a year
>really did
>she slightly overweight but 10/10 face
>smart, funny, sort of likes my jokes
>imighthaveachance.exe
>wanted to wait till bmi hits 19 and i have a car n shit. (plan is/was working)
>really thought i could have her as gf one day. im patiently
>a few weeks ago when i was with her and her friends on campus . she talks about a guy
>listencarefully.exe
>just some dude
>it s ok np
> days later she like: My dad doesnt like the fact he s coming over that much.
>i never went out anywhere with her
>cant do shit . she doesnt know
>im a fuck
>today: we are a couple
>wanna degrade my face from this existance
Never wait guys

>>692156959
Where do you work? & do they ever get suspicious

I give my mom sleeping pills a few times a week and fuck her

>>692160932
First time it happened I didn't know it was her. Gf and I had been fucking at her place and in the middle of the night I went to get a glass of water. I'm in the dark, drinking at the sink when I feel her press up behind me and slip her hand in my boxers and I assumed it was my girl. She gets me hard, pulls my boxers down, and turns me around to blow me. By the time I realize it's not my girl I was already too far gone.

>>692160860
Yeah I actually could have with a fat cousin on my mother's side of the family but never liked the idea. I did get her to show me her vag but that's it. But then a few years later I met my younger cousin on my dads side who is hot as fuck. Would love a chance at her

I cheated on every 11th grade math test I ever took

>>692161133
Wait what? You never went out anywhere with her but you're a couple? And what do you mean you'll degrade your face?

I' m a lazy fuck who masturbate twice a day

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gr8

>>692161096
She's your gf, right? Would you stay with her through all of this? Take advantage of her?

I am Moot.

Dubscheckem

i am eating my nails which is fucking disgusting, but i cant stop

I found sextape of my brother and sister in law on her computer and fapped when she was sucking his dick

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Last year I lost my virginity at the age of 26 to an asian mtf trans/trap I meet while gaming online.

>>692161500
her and the other dude are a couple

I shot the sheriff

>>692161202
No, I'm very very good at hiding it. I work somewhere very liberal minded. Idk how I ended up there it just sort of happened as my career progressed.

>>692157142
story?

>>692161500
tf ? she s got another dude. She said: we are a couple. I lost .is that so hard to get?

>>692160889
She was at a party, drunk. Some guys fucked her. Her friend called me to come get her. I picked her up, drove away, and used her. Took her home and put her in bed. Now she's five months along.

>>692161384
Well, I was so retarded I was at my cousin's home alone with her. We were lying on the bed and I started rubbing her back. She looked up at me. I stopped because I thought she was weirded out. She asked, "Why'd you stop?" So I continued, even touching her ass. She didn't protest one bit.
>GOD! I GETTING PISSED AT MY RETARD VIRGIN SELF JUST WRITING THIS.
Anyway, I didn't do shit. I left after some talking and went home.

>>692161729
so penetrated her/him anal?
hole is hole. the one getting fucked is gay.
the one fucking is just a weirdo.

>>692156959
at least do something productive for yourself. write a blog or some shit

I wanna fuck this girl i havent seen in over 3 years but she might have a bf

I am LITERALLY a fapoholic.
I started when I was 9 and now ove a decade later I am still trying to quit.
I used to do it for 10+ hours a day, then around 20 a day at certain times.

I have now almost quit.

>>692161824
Learn to write. Should have said THEY are a couple.

From the ages of 9-13, I got fucked in the ass every weekend by my older cousins. I call myself straight, but I miss sucking cock.

>>692161666
Checked, i do it too and i hate it

>>692160924
Nah, this is how i want to go out. See >>692158907 . I'm a failure in every sense of the word and i blame myself entirely. But aside from that, my life can be summed up into four words: Slowly disintegrating spinal column. Spinal cord trauma is the biggest bitch. My pain will only get worse and i see nothing on the horizon worth living for.

I also plan on taping it and writing a script to upload the video to whatever site shortly after the deed is done. Sort of like a last 'Fuck You' to this world. I'm sure you fuckheads will enjoy that, so, you're welcome<3

these sickos dreading stds on purpose need help

When my wife gets drunk she passes out and I show her naked body to my friends and neighbors. She has no idea

>>692162077
ur gay

>>692162047
it should be clear outof the context

i fuck a 16 year old girl regularly and cum into her. i am 21.

>>692154846
I'm currently having relations with my girfriends younger cousin

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>>692161729
>>692161901
Yeah, I did the penetrating, though I did some sucking too, I know I'm at least partially bisexual for being into the dick like that.

>>692162077
i miss sanity

>>692154846

>i worked in a retail super market for 9 years
>spent the entire time eating for free(everyone at store level did it including managers)
>had sex with other employees on the clock multiple times
>had one blonde in particular who had just turned legal taking my dick at least once a week in a back room with no cameras
>loosely implied i would start telling people we fucked and share her nudes unless she let me fuck her ass... it worked
>made same blonde suck my dick after i had hooked up with a redhead who worked at the store as well
>made same blonde do A2M on several occasions
>she was basically a sex slave of mine, never put up a fuss about any of it
>im a sick fuck

>>692162142
so hot...anyone touch?

When I'm alone I jerk off with lava

>>692159091
That is not that uncommon... I fucking hate muslims so much, but pretend at work that they are my good friends

>>692154846
I want to be fucked silly in my ass.

I secretly wish to be a girl, but I would be so fucked if one day my parents see me with a skirt... I'll probably try something like be a trap when I move out to another country.

The only girl I ever actually liked was one I have not seen in nearly 9 years.

RACIST

>>692154846
I was really fucked up a while back and ended up in a homeless shelter. Anyway I kept telling this guy with schizophrenia that ''they were coming to get him'' and he later jumped out of a second story window with a sheet wrapped around his neck naked. Not sure if I had any influence on that.
>ps they got him

>>692159218
More of this story please

>>692162271
Yes just last week I let my old neighbor rub my wife's naked ass. He even fingered her before I stopped him from fucking her

Maybe not a secret but a very autistic thing to do...I give myself a little slap whenever I take a shit in the mornings so I know I'm really awake..wouldn't want to wake up to realized I shit my pants.

U probably didn't have much of an influence he needed medication schizophrenia is dangerous if untreated

>>692162430
Oh shit! My doppelganger!

>>692159115
pubescent

>>692154846
I'm 22 yo and I play Action Man since i'm maybe 6yo. I'm addicted to it and don't want to stop, I play maybe only 10 minutes per day in average. It's really fun, I use only one articulate toy to play. It help me imagine fighting scene and it's really cool and quite intense. Of course, only me know this secret

>>692161322
OK so why not stop

>>692162264

pics or didn't happen

>>692162146
No u

>>692162238
i had a thing with my cousin when he as 11, i was 13. we touched each others dick and masturbated and licked them. it was pretty interesting and not a bad experience. i did not even turned into a gay.

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I've been fucking my best friend's girlfriend for the past 2 years, to make a long story short...

>She tells me that she's unhappy with her sex life
>Says that my friend is really bad in bed
>That he has problems keeping hard and has a small penis
>Tells me that she needs sex badly
>So badly that she's going to cheat on him
>Convince her not to do it with a complete stranger
>We end up fucking nearly every weekend

I mean, it's better she's with someone who isn't a complete stranger, right?

The worst part is, she told me recently that if I ever told him about this or stopped giving her sex, she would ruin my life by telling my friend that I raped her and blackmailed her or some shit, bitch is insane BUT also insanely hot, so I dunno.

>>692161696
Nice, did you keep it?

>>692161830
jesus, dude

This dude needs to stop letting dudes molest and rape his wife it's just too kinky

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>>692154846
Have a gf i love
Few days ago met my ex (we broke up 6 years ago. Apparently I still love her and she seems to feel the same way)
Feeling fucked up..

>>692162679
It's good to let out your inner kid every so often, but damn, every day?

I'd figure that as more of a once per weekend thing.

i work in a old people home where are also some people who suffer from dementia.

sometimes when we have to wash them i grab their boobs and stuff

>>692162719

you wont believe this but im telling you the truth. about 2 years ago my hard drive asploded and the great nude collection was lost.

>>692162679
I can't found the one I use on google, maybe it's too old but most action man I see seems to be rigid as fuck

>>692154846
i use 4chan

>>692154846
I've been with my girlfriend for over a year, yet see prostitutes far more attractive than her from time to time. Once or twice a month.

STOP MOLESTING PENSIONERS

>>692162858
Well it's only 10 minutes, and not really every day. But at some point I need to do it, like jerking off

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I know someone with a child porn collection.

I enjoy 9gag

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>>692156982
>Came inside a Guess Who? board game aswell.

>>692163093
you sick fuck. get out of here

Makes sense

>>692162560
You think you'll let someone go that far?

>>692156982
Kek!

>>692163093
End your life

>>692154846
I'm a closet sissy who once drove to a craigslist dude's house for anonymous, unprotected sex. I just might do it again, too (though not the unprotected part; that was sort of an accident)

BRO CHILL OUT ON THE KIDDY SHIT THATS STRAIT UP NASTY slap ur friend

>>692163093
You're a special kind of fag

>>692162715
Cuz her mouth is just too damn good.

>>692163084
Blackmail them

>>692163093

Disgusting.

I want to fuck my ex's old friend

>>692163174
Probably. This old guy was close as it was. She can't stand him and he really wants to fuck her

I am certain I won´t make 22 alive. Whether accident or suicide, I´ll be dead by then.

>>692163325
>not knowing how to reply

>>692163337
Do you ever consider trying to three way that shit?

>>692159793
I also have the fetish of getting fucked by some fog, is it really that wierd tho?

I wanna fuck a robot tranny

Im secretly a gay monkey

>>692163093
I'm not saying to kill yourself but if you turned up dead the world would loose nothing

>>692163462
Christ that's hot.

>>692157201
lucky you

>>692161635
Probably. The weird thing is I do really care about her, and in truth I couldn't stand to see her with another guy. But I constantly fantasize about her getting dragged into the bushes and raped by dirty homeless guys, or gangraped at a party, or by her family or even tied down and forced to fuck a dog.

Always really degrading shit. Maybe because she's so innocent

I work as a small time drug dealer at my uni. Mostly sell to friends or friends of friends. Family don't suspect a thing despite hiding something like 200 pills in my stuff.

Once dropped a baggie in my lecture with a shit load of pills in.

>>692162908

dude..

>>692163462
What does close imply?

>>692162120
Oh yeah spinal cord trauma can be really painful, have you tried some alternate medicine or something... I too had a life threatening intestinal disease... started taking treatment in Chinese medicine, never been much better.

>>692163664

do you get any ass

>>692163486
29 is my cutoff. Fuck this gay world.

I once dated a chick who was like a 4 and I didn't even notice untell I looked after we broke up :(

>>692154846

when I was younger, like from 9-13 and was just learning about porn and sex and stuff I didnt have access to girls.

>best friend of the time and i start playing game
>take turns sucking each other off
>could orgasm but not actually cum
>went on for years
>every day we would hang out we would go to my basement or his and "tell scary stories" with the lights off
>usually involved us looking at porno mags stolen from his grandpa
>would then take turns sucking each other off for as long as we wanted
>eventually once we were a little older and could cum began fucking
>technically lost my virginity being gay

take that to my grave

i browse /b/ for the banana threads

I'm gay.

>>692163495
No, my GF would freak out at the idea. And if I were to talk her into a threeway, it wouldn't be iwth her roommate.

Dubs or higher and ill start up the KKK in my neighborhood

>>692154846
sometimes i think people can hear my thoughts
also i might be bi

I regularly pee in the sink.

I do not have a job.. University drop out. I don't intend on getting a job ever and I would prefer to be homeless. I am on disability pension (don't ask me why)

>>692163788
Out of curiosity, how old are you?

>>692163845

Kill yourself.

>>692163358
I don't need anything from him and i'm not 100% sure he isn't fucking with me (more like 80% sure)

>>692162743
>I mean, it's better she's with someone who isn't a complete stranger, right?

I guess, but dude it's your best friend, my advice is just keep fucking her and making sure she's not fucking random dudes, not much more you can really do.

>>692163662
I'm the same way, dude, I get it.

BRO im all for the rainbow movement but that's just too gay

>>692162679
For this other "secret", I'm pretty sur I'm not the only one : I talk a lot when i'm alone. But I said anything that go trough my mind, really anything. So I tell me stories, imitate some character I invented to make me laugh, and sometimes I can just repeat random sentence without any sense because I want to do it

>>692163852
Fair enough

I work for VAC and ban randomly people for fun

>>692162743
you are not his best friend hehe

I fuck my six year old brother when I'm horny.
>this is fake but pretend that it's not. What would you think of that?

>>692163908
Rollin

>>692164077
bullshit.

>>692163908
rolling,

>>692164144
Pics?

>>692163710
She was on her side naked, he was running her ass. I went to take a piss and come back to him with three fingers in and his old cock out and hard. I sorta freaked or might have let it go down

>>692163807

>take that to my grave

well not anymore

>>692163908
rolling for kkk guy

When I was in 8th grade a crazy hot 7th grader who looked 19 had a crush on me and sent me nudes but I did nothing cuz I was scared of being a pedo

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>>692164264

>>692162743
How the fuck do you live with this? My friend's girlfriend gave me a handjob at Halloween party years ago and I still feel guilt every single fucking day, but you've been doing this shit for years?!

>>692158415
YOU RASCAL!

>>692164177
Double 77 replies to a double 77. Thats pretty dope man

>>692164077
VAC isn't a place to work for you fucking idiot.

Nice try, though.

>>692163631
yeah, she was an awesome little fuck toy, especially when she got on bc so we didnt have to use a condom

>>692158951
Go on

>>692164444
and quads are king

fucked my first cousin

>>692164444
Quads check'd

File: Check em'.jpg (7 KB, 250x184) Image search: [Google]

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>>692164444
Check em'

>>692154846
I'm not a pedophile, but I fap to CP. For real, I have a small laptop (like 15" monitor) covered in childish stickers saying some edgy stuff (e.g. "dangerous", "top secret", "pedophile", "illegal stuff" etc. etc.). On this laptop I have my Linux and Tails installed. I have a Tor Browser, I2P and Freenet there. I keep my CP stash on pendrives - there's around 100 GB of it. I also have a lot of CP printed on paper. In my country, possession of CP isn't illegal. I agree with it - you don't do anything evil unless you actually rape a child or support active pedophiles financially.

>>692158206
It's cool dude I'm not a furry or anything but do what ever makes you happy!

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>>692154846
Cock Tributes are the best pics

>>692164077
>>692164177
>>692164444

WHAT THE FUCK

>>692163717
Even if it were an option, i just don't care enough about my existence to justify the energy expenditure. I'm just going to keep doing whatever drugs come my way and letting myself decline until i can finally carry this last act out. I don't belong here and the world will not miss me.

inB4 Do it faggot. Don't rush me, this will be my last, and only, work of art.

>>692164432

well maybe your friend is not good at receiving handjobs