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It's me OP

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Op here

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OP still here

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Last one I have.

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>>691555815
Want me to do some bumping?

>>691556213
Yes please.

I don't have anything to contribute here on my phone, but I'll bump. Just took one of my SSRI's, so this is perfect.

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Btw OP, whats up with you tonight?

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Btw, some pics have names that are important to the feels. Not all though.

>>691556511
OP here. I grew to attached to someone that never really loved me in the first place. Now I sit and hope for somethings that isn't going to happen to happen.

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>>691556828
Bro, just gonna let you know you arent alone. Shes the first pic in my folder, and you fags will never see her.

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This is very common on feels threads, but i love it. Worth reading.

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Sorry for the delay gentlemen

OP here. It's kinda funny tho. I live in a 2 story house, and The more I just sit around in a big house the more lonley i feel.

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>>691556828
So, wanna vent about this, or you just need a distraction tonight?

Not op here but today is the anniversary of the day my love killed himself. I can't bring myself to do anything besides be sad and avoid people this day every year

>>691557605
"hitting me up anymore"
was this written by DeShawn, fucking nigger talk.

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>>691557792
Shit, sorry.

>>691557096
That picture describes my life basically

>>691558056
I just wish I could have done something:(

>>691556213
never thought i'd feel sorry for machinery.

>>691556104
That one was pretty edgy

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>>691558262
Cant really say anything without knowing what happened, but I'm sure you did what you could at the time

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I sit here at night and I hate myself. I fucked up and now she doesnt want me anymore. Im 34 and Im back to living with my parents. I feel like there is nothing in life to look forward to. The horizon is bleak and its all the worse because I know its my own damn fault for what I have done. I just wish she would call me and say she wants to try again. I would explode with happiness. But I know she wont no matter what I do or say. It hurts.

>>691557761
Vent

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>>691558262
Anyways...

>>691557792
Strangers of all stories are welcome here. Don't worry.

Ive been waiting for the same girl for almost 3 years now.. Its unworldly what happened. It still gets me thinking back to those days.. I even drink to forget but it never helps

>>691555815
The only semblance of contact i have with other people is the worlds i create in my imagination with people i can actually stand and the perfect partner that i can think of for me.

Every few months i lose it because i have to confront the fact that the only people who actually care about me are fictional creations i made up because no one else gives a shit.

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>>691558784

>>691557605
OP here. This image describes my whole life.

>>691559190
unless they're a psychopath.

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My car was broken into just last night. Lost my camera. Had that DSLR for years. With it, I took phots of my 2 exes, my late mother, late grandmother, my current gf (going to break up any day now).
It was with me through some of the worse days of my life, and now it's gone.

>>691558644
>>691558846
He killed himself because his Religious parents freaked the fuck out about him not being straight. He mentioned it in his suicide note :(. Alternate feelings from extremely depressed to extremely pissed on This day.

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>>691559337
Unless you're a psychopath

>>691559086
That sounds like it sucks, Don't you have family?

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>>691559471
Fuck. Well then, its on them, not you. Did he write anything directly to you in his note?

>>691559751
Fuck the lot of them. I'm not spending the rest of my life being their bitch because they can't deal with the fact that my father was a child rapist that targeted his daughter and i look and share several character traits with him.

I'm not going to let them make me think it was my fault. Not again.

me and my girlfriend of over a year broke up recently. i've been distracting myself by hanging out near-constantly with others, but it isn't enough. the emptiness is still there. whenever I'm alone, all i think about is the mistakes i've made and how i could've saved the relationship.

>>691559645
i'm not. i'm actually very emotional. so emotional that i've been diagnosed with PTSD in the past, same with depression and anxiety. right now i have schizotypal, which is social anxiety, psychosis and paranoia. so no, i'm not.

>>691560089
Jesus, have you tried getting help? I'm sure there are some people out there who can make things seem better for you.

And even if there aren't any out there. We're still here for you.

>>691560110
Same here

>>691560063
That he was sorry for leaving me:,( I still can't fucking bring myself to look for Anyone else

>>691560328
Thx but right now, what i need is to just get away from them.

Hopefully my life will get back on track when i move out on Friday.

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>>691560110
Don't kill yourself over it. Relationships take 2, and she could've tried to save it too.

>>691560501
Well, at least you're getting away from a situation that is bad for your health.

I hope things do get better for you.

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>>691560416
You don't have to, but I'm pretty sure he wouldnt want this to be how you live the rest of your life. Remember him, remember what he meant to you, but do what it takes to be happy.

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I'm an attention seeking little bitch and this is what my life has come down to.

I need help.

At least i can hold a conversation with my self.

>>691560883
That's just it he's the only thing that ever made me happy.. That why I'm so fucking lost now :.(

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Gonna go get a charger and some booze, be back in a sec

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quick bump

>>691560144
>PTSD
>out of nowhere

Hi tumblr

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Where were we...

>>691561071
Why did this fox bring me to the verge of tears?

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Not over yet niggers

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>>691561797
Now you may cry

I'm sick of no one taking me seriously. Not a single person takes my problems seriously, despite having a long history of mental illness. I hate life and everything such. Fuck my life. I've tried to kill myself so much in the past, and it's never worked. God help me. I need a gun to take my own miserable, abhorrent life.

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Soooo, i may be losing it.
>off my rocker
>losing my marbles per say
Almost got institutionalized, in the mental place variety.
I spoke too much, said it too loudly.
Now the eyes are watching me.

My question though...how do i finish off the job?
If i AM going to be luney, how can i further the process, i dont want that uncomfortable in-between nonsense, where i lose my sense, per say.

>>691560975
This is my only response to you I'm giving, I'm bad at remembering things.

I hope you do ok. You are good enough, Anon. Even if no one else can see it yet. You can be loved.

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>>691561999
Guns are for pussys. My plan

I met this girl online and we were together for two years. Things weren't perfect and it was long distance, she broke up with me when I visited her for a role she was born for and always wanted. Then I spent a year coming back and leaving randomly because I wasn't happy with her. She never lost faith in me but it didn't last and now she has moved on and so have I. It just bothers me sometimes what might have happened if I stayed with her. I've moved on but I still wonder.

>>691561999
There is no worse feeling than when nobody takes you seriously, I know that feeling.

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>>691562107
Fry brain with drugs. I recomend lots of acid

>>691559190
It true

>>691560063
Birds hit me in the feels so hard, because I remember my cockatiels.

>>691562165
bad plan
back in the day before they did this they had one of their boys stand behind them with a pole axe to end their suffering
side note: fucking weeb

>>691562128
I just wish the ones that currently do didn't currently reside in my imagination.

But again, at least they make for great conversation.

>>691562165
have fun that pain, guns arent a pussy way to go out, its a quick and easy way to go out

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Glad to see my folder is appreciated. Spent a lot of long nights building this up.

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>>691562331
The thing bees that i can't find the legendary chem.
Ive gone through resources, and only get poisoned with RC's, which i believe it may be part of the problem, honestly ha....
>*sigh*

>>691562585
This.

Only an idiot forces himself to deal with needless pain for no reason.

Which is why most of us here are downright retarded.

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This is my head, but in slow motion.

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>>691562740
Idk then man. But for real, you shoukd just go in and get some help.

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>>691563000
Listen to my trips

GF broke up with me about a month ago. Said that she would always love me and we'd still be friends and we might end up back together but we both needed to work on things. We still hang out but everything seems awkward and she seems distant.

She ended up telling me that she felt that she wasn't good enough for me and that her trying to deal with all of her shit would just drag me down and she didn't want to do that to me. She's always had self-confidence issues.

The 20th would have been our 2 year anniversary and I asked her if she wanted to do something. She ended up canceling and when I told her it would have been silly anyway she said she forgot that it was our anniversary.

She told me to request off on the 29th for my birthday and she did and then ended up taking on overtime. We were talking about our work schedule and asked me why I had Wednesday off. She forgot.

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Feelhammer time

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>>691560975
hang in there anon, you want someone to talk to? i'm not the best company though

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>>691563388
Just tell her you want to be back together if that is actually what you want. She has issues with not being good enough, so make her realise she is.

>>691563694
I've had every conversation that i could ever have with anyone.

Just with myself.

At this point, nothing you could say would make me feel better cause they've already tried.

and they know me better than anyone does.

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>>691563000
>>691563124
I respect the trips anon.

Honestly, ive thought about it. When i was in the hospital, in the er unwillingly, i felt extremely judged.
Afterwards, i felt i shouldve used the time to ask questions, maybe get options.
The problem is it took this long to get even close to some results, and that required that i was taken to the hospital, physically into the car mind you, and stripped of everything.
I'm getting closer, to what? I'm not sure.
Its either really good, or extremely bad.
>it's exciting

>>691558784
So kill yourself worthless faggot.

>>691562107
Brain damage, pretty much, drugs, head trauma, oxygen deprivation...

I've had couple of really scary "losing it" phases in the past due to drugs. A couple of weeks of slowly diminishing disorganized shizo behavior (walking into a room, forgetting why I was there, losing my thoughts in the middle of sentences all the time, chaining my sentences together in a really weird disorganized way) from 4-ho-met.

Half an hour of word salad from a bad batch of MXE. Having everything that you and other people are saying suddenly replaced with random words is pretty bad. Thankfully whatever that was just went away.

A few months of bad bouts of nausea and dizziness and trouble concentrating, and some strange right-side localized head pain from stimulant use. Probably I overdid it and damaged myself there.

Fainting spells and seizures from standing up sometimes when I was a kid, due to inhalant use. It's kind of surprising that my mind is more or less whole, even I after I quit doing that stuff.

Even just paranoia/depersonalization from too much weed/cannabinoid use. Nothing I ever experienced on "that side of the fence" has ever been worth having. It's all, categorically, just bad, like nightmarishly bad some days, the kind where you seriously think about killing yourself, just to make it stop.

A few people who have "lost it" or have one kind of damage or another (notably synaesthetics, though there are downsides for most of them, too) are able to enjoy aspects of it. Most are the other kind. Try to get better, not worse. There is nothing at the end of what you're looking for that anyone would ever want.

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How can you be sad when Trump is going to be POTUS?

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>>691564105
Since you've been there, what should I expect if I go? Honestly, I'm more fucked up than I seem. Tried starving myself to death and made it 15 days without food before being put into a situation where I couldn't eat without raising questions.

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Holy Fucking Balls do i want another GodDamn Beer.
>i think i may need those AA meetings afterall

>>691563788
I wish it was that easy.

I've made my intentions clear and have tried to make her realize it's all in her head, but it feels like I'm just banging my head against a brick wall.

I'll gladly keep doing it until we end up back together or she decides to move on, but it fucking hurts.

>>691556104
Jesus fuck off to facebook

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>>691564564
I hear you. 18 and nursing straight crown right now.

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Ok. You wanna talk about utterly fucked? I cannot make this shit up.
>me, 3 years ago, junior in hs
>never had a gf before, virgin, whatever man don't need it
>by that i mean I'm lonely as hell
>start talking to this girl, become friends
>one day she admits having crush on me
>ohhellyeh.jpg
>start dating, movies, dinner, textbook shit
>this starts in December btw
>happiest I've ever been
>so happy I'm ignoring the signs
>so she's a fuckin weaboo
>like hardcore, practically fluent in Japanese
>think "alright cool, bilingual gf"
>no. Not cool. At all.
>realize it's been a month and we haven't kissed
>wouldn't mind much, maybe she's just taking it slow
>but thing is, she's recoiling like a triggered rape victim every time I peck her cheek
Cont.

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i just graduated and everyday is blending into one another. i go to bed at 8 am and hate going outside. i idolize girls who would puke at the thought of fucking me. i have no friends. my passion for video games is dying. im a fuck up and my parents dont like me. the list goes on. sometimes nothing goes wrong at work and i come home and still hate myself. pic related.

i thought about going to my doctor about having depression but im not sure if i really have it or if im just a pussy. i know im more than this, i used to be happy... what the fuck happened?

someone help me.

>>691564833
she will scream rape once you kiss her js
just break up with her before its too late

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>>691563911
it's no fun talking to yourself, but if you ever just want company you can add me on skype; eibonie

am i being too easy? to be swayed by an attention whore? probably

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>>691562607
I have the same hoodie
Now I want to wear it in the middle of the night, in my house

Gonna pause my image dump for a bit.

>>691564541
Well, you def need to understand its different with every place
and
that i was EXTREMELY off-the-wall drunk.
Here's my experience
>short story to this point, depressed for long time, drugs/alchaol. Been probably 3-4 years.
>told mom what was what.
>issues with society, mental health aka delusions, drinking problems
>blah blah blah
>3 days later, really off my face drunk
>text mom that i need to talk to her
>expecting to speak with her when i sobered up
>NOPE
>shows up with my brother, they said "we're leaving" and grabbed me
>to drunk to know i even left the house till 5-10 mins go by
>"whe...where are we???"
>Nurse walks up, tells me to come in back, and take off my clothes
>male dude reaches into pocket, takes knife
>i'm now freezing ass off, in paperthin bright blue """clothes""" <---ha!!
to be continued

Cont. from >>691564833
>one day ask her what's up
>dramatically makes worried face
>"anon, I'm... I'm... Asexual........."
>what.jpg
>actually say "you reproduce by splitting in half?"
>doesn't find it funny, tears up and walks off
>Google asexual while shitting later bc why not?
>turns out some people claim they feel no sexual desire or pleasure, and she has it bad
>apologize to her (fuckin idiot) and ask her what boundaries are.
>says she can't handle kissing like at all
>tells story about blacking out last time a guy did
>I go along and just cater to her ass like the beta bitch I am bc first girlfriend it HAS to work out
>continue this weird ass game of red-light, green-light affection until February
>one day, parents catch me fappin up a storm to /b, take my phone away
>feel terrible, gf notices, asks what's up
>tell her everything expecting support and reassurance and stuff I've never experienced from a gf
>hahanope
>she freaks out, dumps me on the spot, says she knew it'd be like this what with her a sexuality and all
>blame myself and go into this super dark place for weeks
Cont.

>>691556213
This one gets me feeling so much more than any human-based feels.jpg....

You're not forgotten, brave rover! <3

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>>691565779
Again, glad my collection is appreciated

>>691564564
I could probably help you find an AA meeting on google

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You fags better not keep making me bump this fucking thread. Over half these pics are mine already.

>>691566029
god almighty, please tell me thats a stuffed animal.
My heart just fucking dropped.

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Keep this thread alive. On phone so I have fuck all to contribute, so keep this shit going

>>691565624
>now the fun begins
>hear people screaming in rooms down hall
>i'm placed on futon/chair/couch/bed thing, and told to make no sudden movements, unless i want "attention"
>i have a nurse literally, no exaggeration, staring at me none. fucking. stop.
>beg for blankets, freezing
>get A blanket
>listen to black dude mumbling about shit that no one undertood
>drifting in and out at this point
>5 hours go by, testing inbetween
>veins in arm hurt at this point, please have mercy and switch fucking arms lady!!!
>move to another location
>more quiet, more privacy
>look up at posters/info sheets/ sign over door...
>emergency holding center for psychologically dangerous
>Oh Motherfuckin Boy
to be continued

>>691566559
What a pussy.

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>>691557096
The worst isn't even that; the worst is knowing that you've met so very many people in your lifetime, yet less than eight will ever remember you until your obituary hits the local paper.....

>pic unrelated

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Feel like this one is in every thread, but still love it

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>>691566312
i have the resources, just not the patience.

But seriously, i want to go back to the store, pack up on beer, and get to the level that i was on at >>691565624
It HURTS to not be drinking more right now
Already had a good strong beer, but that only goes soo far...

>>691565120
Good Night.

Cont. from >>691565755
Also I forgot to mention her weird tendencies to make murder jokes. Like yeah I'll say some dark shit and lol it off but it was like a constant thing with her. And always a kitchen knife. And she's sing about Japanese serial killers. Again, blind af at the time bc I just wanted a gf
>I get over it, feel alright again
>months later overhear something about her going out with Ash, a mutual female friend of ours.
>ask classmate "wait what how when this happen?"
>she goes "ummm... She made me promise not to tell you..."
>FUCKINTELLMEWOMAN
>"Ok ok! She... And ash have been... They've been flirting since January..."
>wait I got dumped in February...
>OHHHHH BITCH GONNA DIE
>start shaking down anyone who even knows ex's name to for information
>boy did I get some results
>ex and ash had been doing graphic text message based sexual role plays as anime characters
>sometimes while I was right there with her
>so many people knew about it and I didn't.
>pissed but not wanting to do anything rash, need solid evidence
>fuckin ask and receive, see them straight up making out in courtyard one morning
>flip them both off and say "you deserve each other" or some weak shit like that
>to this day, the sound of anime voices makes my skin crawl
>mfw I was the guy who made her go from asexual to lesbian
>never trust asexuals

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On the off chance someone has it, anybody have the girl in the hot air balloon comic? Wanna add it to my collection

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Forgot what this one is. Maybe Craig? Idk, on my phone.

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>>691567769
Best guess NA

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>>691566802
>it gets kinda calm at this point
>nurses/docs keep asking me if i still want to hurt myself(dont recall ever saying that i did?!?!)
>drifting, drifting, drifting
>apparently my blood-to-alcohol level gets to a point they can actually "speak" to me, i guess on a legal sense, idk
>they say im on a dangerous path, that i should be committed for atleast a couple days.
>beg for reconsideration, knowing that once i was in, its all downhill from there...
>talk, and talk, say how i was just having it rough
>they say they will let me go from here, but they are "concerned for the safety"
>"concerned for the safety..." thats fucking vague
>get released 4 hours later, with a huge fucking hangover
>brother gets into accident outside of hospital coming to pick me up
>now i have to loan out my second car
>now ii have a bunch of concerned people sending motivational shit throughout the day
>now i fear for myself
>Now i ask myself daily, should i try again??!?

The End

What's always depressed me is watching people spontaneously start discussions in class, make friends, get approached by the opposite sex, etc... never happens to me. No matter where I live or what I'm doing, people somehow collectively know not to include me. I'm not being dramatic about it; my life is okay.

Just something missing there. I've always been somehow out of step with everyone.

>>691565105
Yeah little late there anon but you're right. Fuckin psychopath consumed a whole semester of my life

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>>691568165
So what I'm hearing is it will only help if I want it to. I can totally manipulate the system to get out if I feel like it. Btw, been drunk literally all day.

Been kinda depressed after hearing a childhood friend of mine got busted for child porn.

>>691568325

I feel you man. I feel like maybe I missed out on something that made me unable to do what other people do

>>691566657
I wish I knew what that felt like......

But I have no world to fall apart; I'm 30, single, and have nothing to show for my past 30 years on this earth.....

>>691564517

Not a fucking chance, kiddo. Cute that you think that though.

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>>691564422
But is it completely crazy(haha, puns) that i want to skip the middle part, and go straight to the issue, if thats my destiny?
I feel very uncomfortable now, and i dont want it to get worse as i fall of the cliff, persay, i just want to hit the ground right away, if that makes sense..

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This pic makes me cry every-time, reminds me of my dad, hold me /b/

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K5lka5fgAu0
sad music for a sad day, crywank get to me every time

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>>691566745
Does it look stuffed to you?

>>691568068

Good on, Anon.

I have a license plate frame that reads, "Starstuff at the wheel".

>>691561628
PTSD in itself doesn't mean Tumblr you insensitive fuck.

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder can come from a range of things, experiencing war, losing a loved one, seeing someone killed in front of you, etc etc

Its a real illness anon, it can fuck you up.

>>691561628

You can't fucking be this stupid. Please tell me you know that PTSD is real and has nothing to do with TUMBLR. I need to know this, Anon.

>>691569397
exactly. anon who said i used to have PTSD here.
i had it when i was really young, according to my therapist. like 5-10 young. that's part of the reason i'm so fucked up today.
i guess considering all is anonymous here, i can say why i had it. i used to see my father beat up my mum when i was little. then i saw him try to choke her at one point.

Today is my 22nd birthday. I have no education, no girlfriend, and I work at a fast food "restaurant". My roommate decided to go home this weekend so he could work on his new truck, so I've been alone for the past 2 days.

I can't help but feel like a useless faggot who is truly contributing nothing to the world right now, and sometimes I feel worse because I feel like it's wrong that I've begun to think that's ok.

All I've got to look forward to right now is another year at a shitty job, just so I can "celebrate" my 23rd birthday, all alone again.

>>691569163
god damn lmao

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Alright /b/ros, I'm gonna finish my Crown then try to sleep. Good night, and someone please step up and bump in my absence.

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i saw pictures on facebook from a beach trip a couple of friends took today. they didn't even ask if id like to tag along. it feels like they're avoiding me, and with all the stress ive been under lately between work and some personal stuff, i would have loved to have gone and just relaxed.

i just feel like im a space filler and they don't really care about me. nobody seems to ever want to hang out with me. maybe im too annoying.

>>691568790
This is me....

Except that I use games, movies, etc. internet, to escape from that reality for a brief moment..... And it's moderately effective.....

Unfortunately, though, I'll probably die a sad lonely loser because of it...

Don't know what this thread makes me feel. But it's like amongst all the waifu-claiming, cp Loli, and general dogs hit that is /b, every now and then a thread like this happens, and I'm able to see the goodness in humanity again

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>>691568592
I wouldnt depend on it really.
Once youre in there, especially involuntary, its all up in the air.
I spent every single second in the er thinking i was gonna be placed into some kind of car, and shipped to the looney bin.
Regardless of whether i need it or not, i rather not go.
That being said, if you need help, you need help.
I know thats crazy(puns, lol....*sigh*) after typing out what happened to me, but i wouldnt recommend it.
I've gotten worse every day since, nowing that i barely escaped last time, knowing that i probably needed to be there, and its just gonna be the next "event" that throws me off the cliff.
>legit just had a "bug crawling on you skin" thing. it may have been real, may not. But i swear i felt it, saw it out of corner of eye. ive been having shivers for mins now...
take the easy way, even if it doesnt seem like it, and i dont mean an hero..

Get Help, For the Both of Us..

>>691569816
where do you live, 22y/o anon?

>>691569816

Happy Birthday, Anon.

Most knowledge is free, anon.

If you want it badly enough, you can gain the skills necessary for a new career path.

Stop feeling sorry for yourself and make something of your situation.

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thefeelsarereals

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>>691567281
lol faggot, if that is as bad as your life gets, deal with it.
Fucking pussy

Happy birthday

>>691555815
Will post OC greentext if anons can keep bumping.

>>691570228
Alberta right now. My family all lives in Ontario.

>>691570411
I know that I can do something about my situation, which makes it extra shitty, because I know there's literally no one to blame except for myself. It's like a bad wake up call to life

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>>691569887
No you will not :)

While we're here i just thought i'd ask, Has /b/ ever been in love? I mean really truly in love with another person? I have been twice in my life. And both times i got my heart broken. The first after two years together got "drunk" and fucked my best friend on new years eve in my house after a party while i was asleep upstairs after we had fallen asleep together. The second(not totally her fault) moved for a new job and we tried to long distance thing, didn't work, now she's fucking an actual scuba instructor.

>>691567281
Just move on. Sounds like you have a lot of your life ahead of you.

For all of this bullshit about having a gf, you faggots are all missing the point. Infatuation is temporary. Learn to enjoy the experience of it and find your sense of self.

>>691568325
>out of step
thats a good album by Minor Threat, listen you might feel a connection

>>691568697
>child porn.
i just reported this, have fun in the pokey, faggot

>>691568927
Probably a lot of people with Alzheimer's feel that way. I guess they have awhile before it gets really bad when they're more aware of what they're losing.

I don't know what your issues are, when you're not blackout drunk. You mentioned "delusions." I don't know where you're at, really, so I can't say whether your ideation makes sense to me.

I did experience some paranoia, a lot of depersonalization/derealization, trouble concentrating, depression - nuisance symptoms, I guess - in my early twenties. Mostly a bad mix of ganja, some hard isolation, and being a guy in my early twenties. Went the psychiatrist route, didn't help so I quit; everything slowly just stabilized over the years.

I never hallucinated, except for thinking I saw snatches of movement out of the corner of my eye, that kind of thing. Insofar as I can relate, aside from the crazy drug-related things, I guess that's the closest to messed up I've felt just in day-to-day life.

>>691556410 band of brothers.

>>691571809
What? You reported it why? This anon didn't have child porn, his friend did, and he was already busted

>>691571105
I've only been with one person I met online. This was over a year ago. I still think about her constantly. I stopped talking to her because it's what she wanted. Sure I wouldn't know if I truly love her since it was one experience. But I feel like putting her wants over mine means something.

>>691571809

Anon who originally posted that here, did you not read it carefully enough?

>>691572052

I guess he misread my sentence.

pt 1: Tales from a high school beta turned pessimist

>Be me
>Be 16 and sophomore in high school at the time
>Beta AF
>Everyone starting to get GFs, people start to question why I don't have one
>I initially write it off to them as not wanting one but that is total bullshit
>A month or so later everyone knows me as that one really quiet weird kid
>Snicker at me behind my back
>feelsbad.zip
>A month or so later my family begins to tear apart
>Mom and Dad were fighting almost every damn day, made it really hard for a smart fag like me to do my work
>Grades start to drop
>Now even my teachers were noticing something
>One of them, I forget his name pulls me aside after class
>Says that he knows what I'm going through and offers advice
>Would later turn out to be the only thing that kept me sane at home
>finals week rolls around, which for us at our school, was the week before winter break
>Everyone was hyped AF but also tired from studying
>One of my finals has a lab component
>Get assigned to random lab groups to make it fair
>That's when I met her...

>>691558784 Kill yourself, I mean kill your old self. Change now, take a new step in your life by just not giving a fuck about what other people think, get any job that you can start making some money, study again and grow, growing is a slow process but it's better than crying and wasting your time thinking about your past or things you can do...just move, move and never look back, and don't give a shit about other, Im not telling you to become a rude person, only to become yourself.

>>691559384
Search for Corey Wayne book and find your life a new purpose. Im not spamming, it's just a book that helped me to get my life back.

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>>691572470
>>691572052

>>691572799

I'm just confused.

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>>691568826

>>691571105

Couple of times. A really good friendship is the same way, too. It's crazy how you can both feel the same way, even talk about it openly. Once I get to that point, I basically feel that way about that person forever. Other people are not like that.

Mostly they all seem a lot more casual about things. "True love" or "perfect friendship" can pretty much turn on a dime from the smallest incident. Suddenly they're out of your life and you're just asking, "Why? Didn't this mean anything at all to you? Why would you do this?"

And you keep caring about the person, and it just tears you up for years before it even starts to fade, because when you love someone, you mean it, and you can't just take that back.

Other people...? I can't figure it out. They seem earnest enough in the moment, just a lot more willing to drop everything, move on, and not look back. I think you ought to keep the people you really care about in your life, unless they turn into axe murderers or something.

No one I've met - outside of family - seems to believe that. Their relationships have the same honest intensity, they just somehow quit caring and move on to the next, and the next, and the next...

wtf

>>691572563
Ego death ain't easy bruh. You must break down and understand every facet of your self before you can start to live again. If you're not thorough, you will only end up where you began.

It's all a cacophony of boorishness and mindfulness. A difficult line to walk.

>>691557761
That's a quote from Doug Dtanhope

>>691572963

I can't wait to watch all you retards crying.

It's just like when you all thought Romney was going to win and then he got his ass handed to him.

>>691572886
he (the guy who 'reported' you) is either retarded are baiting

>>691572521
>Lab groups are assigned 3 people each
>Group is me, my friend at the time, let's call him Joey and her
>qt3.14 1/2 nip girl, let's call her Jenny all the good traits of both the Asian and White race
>Slightly slanted inquisitive looking green eyes
>heartthrob.bmp
>Be fucking beta so don't talk except when we have to do crap for the lab
>Class ends
>Winter break
>Parents full on WWIII
>itshappening.rar
>Flies for divorce 3 days after Christmas that year
>Think of her all the time despite what just went down
>My only solace is playing Halo 3 which I got for Christmas with Joey
>Joey urges me to hit on this girl and make my move
>Too much of an autist at the time to work up the balls to do it
>this would bite me in the ass later

>>691574172

Alright then.

>>691561994
Goddamn man.

>>691572563
Not that poster, but someone who's trying to do that. Just planning/taking that first step, and those first few weeks... it's hard to crawl up out of that pit.

It's really best to leave town for somewhere new where you also have some chance at growth, but also depressing to leave what little you have/care about behind. And you're a loser, so you probably have a sketchy education/employment history, and some issues relating to others. Inertia.

Focusing on a job/career that doesn't care much about your history - that's all about just showing raw capability for the task at hand - that's helped. Just doing some menial night work in the meantime helped, too, because you're forced to socialize with those people, and it rubs off some of the hard edges.

>>691574209
Hard to write this shit /b/, not only because I'm tanked as hell but also because of the memories it brings up. If no anons care I'll just stop.

Have some feels music for the feels thread

https://youtu.be/n5g-91mwiNs

https://youtu.be/jH3C8FyHsIk

https://youtu.be/4-liyr-Xq3E

https://youtu.be/JTeKpWp8Psw

https://youtu.be/8goKJebNlGk

https://youtu.be/ssdgFoHLwnk

https://youtu.be/v8TlgTYWOn8

(original)
https://youtu.be/aUea0h4DZTs
(cover)
https://youtu.be/O43qWdxlGYw

https://youtu.be/juvwlEO-x2o

https://youtu.be/LAriDxTeed8

https://youtu.be/7DlWyTpD3hM

https://youtu.be/z4rnD3628N4

https://youtu.be/qkNa5xzOe5U

https://youtu.be/ohgr51CqliY

https://youtu.be/vHEJ8TH_XRM

>>691574759
no, go on. if it helps to vent. plus i'm intrigued.

>>691573958
Yeah, Hillary really isn't an ideal leader, either, though. It just kills me that even when THIS is what's on the table, the media - and anyone else you talk to - won't discuss and probably can't even name a third candidate.

It's all, "Oh, well, which version of dysfunctional tragedy are we going to settle for?" Makes me grind my teeth.

holy shit I have no friends.

>>691569866
update. one of said friends got on my case because i shared a post about some goldfish thing and she got upset because the fish was in a small bowl. now she's sharing links to articles about why tiny goldfish bowls are bad. she rarely if ever interacts with me of her own volition but she went out of her way with this. i'd hazard to guess she hates me.

>>691570835
Yeah, I probably will... I've come to terms with it, though.... Sometimes I wish I could just immaterialize and leave no trace, not even a memory, so as to not burden my mom and my sister....

>>691562165
Why would you need to protect your hand? You're going to fucking die anyway

>>691574759
Keep going dude

>>691575213
Strangers will validate you on an anonymous image board.

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>>691557761

>>691559198
What's worse is when you do and you get replaced by someone else.

Happened to be 3 times already

>>691575738
are you saying the only thing I need from friends is validation?

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>>691571105
>See qt3.14 in Theater Class.
>Crap she's not at auditions.
>Turns out she rescheduled an audition.
>We familiarize ourselves during rehearsals.
>After the play I find out she lives for Pokemon and Nintendo, loves memes.
>We're talking about anime instead of working on our final.
>Winter break comes and I watch as much anime as I can.
>I buy a gingerbread flavored chocolate bar.
>I look for where she works all over town (relatively small town).
>Walk into last resort and there she is, dumbfounded.
>I hear from her co workers she's single.
>I give her the chocolate one day with my number on the wrapper.
My only ex just happened to be dining there that day. I didn't give a single notice or fuck.
>qt3.14 tells me she got a WiiU with Splatoon for Christmas.
>Hype.
She never calls or texts.
>Fuck it - this is silly
I grow out my beard and hair and pick up smoking again. Stopped working out.
See her only once since then as we pass in the library.
She looks surprised and says"Hey" like she wants to talk
I just nod and keep walking

>>691575521
...it's a sword. You know, sharp. You run the risk of botching the cuts, either because you cut a tendon or something, or just because the hand pain causes some involuntary movement.

It's not about avoiding pain. It's about making sure you get the job done. Honorably, I guess. It's kind of the last chance you're going to have to get something right.

I just want to be afraid of death again.

>>691575141
You asked for it anon

>Get back to school the day after New Year's
>Walk into first period chemistry, the class we did the lab together in
>See Jenny sitting there, waiting for the class to start
>Joey points to me and then to her, expecting me to do something
>So being the beta that I was back then I meekly shuffled over to where she was sitting
>She was half Jap half Euro, or at least I think it was Japanese but I for sure know her father was white
>I'd find that out a bit later in a very hard and cringey way
>Back to the topic at hand
>Go over to her and manage to mumble out some compliment along the lines of "You're so smart I wish I was as smart as you"
>She meekly accepts the compliment
>But she accepted it and was about as shy as I was
>feelsgoodman.ogg
>Begin to build confidence by doing this every day, talking to her during passing periods and stuf
>We did not have many of the same classes
>My dad at the time was the cooler one in the relationship so I went to him for advice
>Of course he was for lack of a better term salty due to recent divorce
>Said to me that its a trap and high school relationships don't mean anything
>Says one thing that would stick with me for a while
>"Fairytale love does not exist"
>Shatters my understanding of love completely
>Redpillrage.webm
>Decide to disobey advice
>I've never been so wrong....

>>691573958
I knew Romney wasn't going to make it..... The last three Presidents have all served both terms.... The corruption in DC isn't just obvious; it's BLATANT....

And Hillary will be our LAST President, if she's elected....

>>691575369
Well, for one, she's making an effort to talk to you. That's a connection. Use it. She probably cares about the poor fish, too. Some people (me) are like that. Empathize. Talk to her about it, f**king get her opinion on fish bowls and rocks and shit, whatever. This kind of stupid shit is how friendships start. Just something mutual to talk about.

>>691557761
I kind of feel for the poor plant. He's trying so hard.

>>691576110
Nah
Friends are people who you share a mutual trust.

Turned 22, 50 minutes ago. Spending my birthday alone again.

>>691576493
:(

ok now im interested, you've left a lot of cliff hangers

>>691577181
PST, me too.

Happy birthday anon. I love you too.

>>691576322
...yeah, in my experience, once it's an actual immanent prospect, there's nothing worthwhile about it. Just a lot of animal terror and regret about how stupid you were. Even as an abstract concept, I don't see anything worthwhile about it.

Cry some more Pussies, While I fuck yo Bitches. Cry me a river.

>>691577983
But I like guys too anon. Are you telling me you're a faggot and fucking guys?

>>691576493
>Continue my little beta routine for a few weeks
>Begin to get more comfortable talking to her and her with me
>Confidence was starting to build and for the first time I got a taste of what being an alpha was like
>We would walk and talk 4 times a day for around 5 minutes each
>During the period of time before chem began
>Passing period from chem to US history
>Gym class before being segregated into locker rooms
>And leaving school for the bus
>Start feeling like I want to ask her out or at least ask for her phone number
>She was so cute anons, I just can't explain it
>Not a slut like all the others, that kind of attractive that made your heart melt instead of your dick
>Long flowing chestnut colored hair and the smoothest skin imaginable
>But her eyes
>Her eyes were something else
>That slight slant from the Jap in her gave them a very intellectual and inquisitive look about them yet at the same time looked warm and playful
>Emerald green to
>European looking facial structure with developed cheekbones, not those wide ass ones that most nips have
>Her personality was enough to seal the deal but her attractiveness made it all the better
>Be about end of January
>School dance where girls ask out guys was coming up
>Thought it would be my chance
>You probably know where things go from here...

>>691555815
Let me tell you people a story
>me a softmore
>i never had a gf and was a virgin
>meet this girl named well lets just say june
>she was in my home ec
>My friend tell her about me
>was very anti social
>me and her started talking
>we start dating
>after high school i move to go to ny
>lived in texas
>we talk
>2 yr l8ter get phone call
>its her mother
>ohhshit.png
>was told she killed herself
>till this day i thought it was me
>never got a gf after to scared
>to today im all alone
>stare at a spray paint smile for company
>try's suicide multiple times

i still think it was my falt for moveing

>>691577535
It's useful for remembering to eat sleep or see a physician every once in a while.
That's what I miss. That desire to keep myself alive. Addiction is a whore.

>>691577181
I spent my 27th birthday alone in a hospital, suffering from internal bleeding due to a nasty infection. It was sort of excruciating, especially two hours after a morphine shot - when the painkiller was seriously wearing off - but still two hours short of getting another one.

I did have friends/family at the time, who did come see me over the next few days. It seems kind of hollow to say, "well, this one time, I had it worse." I dunno. That's all I've got.

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/b/ros I have no idea what's going on with me. I went to my cousins graduation party. I used to know these niggas ever since I was a wee lad. All of us would hangout and eveything do crazy shit and just be kids. Now when I go visit them they've just changed. None of us have nothing in common and we barley talk even though I try to start a conversation. My family is the same way. They love to talk and hangout with everyone else in my family and have get togethers and apparently forget to invite me. I feel like I'm not even appart of the family anymore.Maybe it's just me. I wish I had more in common with my family so that I could actually communicate with them. I don't know does anyone else feel this way?

>>691578587
I've got that distance with my family. It fucking burns.

>>691578271
Allow me to reassure you: it wasn't you. I mean sure, you abandoned your gf and moved for what reason I cannot even fathom, but I'm pretty sure she wasn't holding on to that feeling for two years. She probably sucked a lot of dick between the time you left and when she died.

>>691578819
Yea it does man. I just want to be a kid again.

>>691578829
no we talked for the 2 yrs she was changing i never noticed

>>691577329
Happy birthday to you too anon!

>>691578531
It's good to have perspective. Even if today isn't the way I want it to be, I have my health, so I have tomorrow.

>>691578106
>Week before dance rolls around
>Parents finally sorted out the housing and custody situation, giving me some manner of peace
>Everyone in the whole goddamn school was hyped as fuck
>Girls were asking out the guys left and right
>By the time Wednesday rolled around I got nervous
>Maybe she didn't like me
>Decide to put these thoughts to the back of my head and focus on school
>My whole world was about to be turned upside down
>Be member of after school activity on Thursday evening
>Runs from when school let out to 6:15
>She was also doing an activity that day but a different one than me
>Didn't run as late so I decided I would sneak away and she what was going on
>Then I see it
>She was asking out another guy
>The same dude who I work with in my after school activity
>He had left the wood shop and not returned so I thought nothing of it
>My heart sank
>I thought she liked me, I was doing good by my standards then
>This dude was also my friend a while back in Middle school but this blew it out of the water
>He comes into the shop again with a shit eating grin on his face
>Wanted to clock him so hard but didn't do it because beta
>Tell instructor that I didn't feel quite well
>Dad picks me up from school
>Tell him what happened
>Looks at me straight in the eyes before driving the car off in the icy air and tells me
>"I told you so"
>The rest of the ride home was silent
>When I got there I just immersed myself in my schoolwork and tried no to think about it
>More shit would go down after the dance

>>691576626
we had things to talk about already- hell, we have similar tattoos. im pretty sure she's just nice to me out of necessity at this point, seeing as we work together.

>>691578587
yea i do.
a member of my extended family owns a lake cottage not far from my workplace. various members of my family come to town during the summer to use it, and of course i work in a nice grocery store so they all shop there. it's pretty miserable seeing them given that they're all college educated and im working a wageslave job for just above peanuts with no real prospect and no real life. not to mention we have nothing in common.

>Be 18
>Graduate HS
>lose all of my friends because they either movie or back stab me
>completely alone
>all I do is play video games to hide from facing reality
>fast forward a couple months
>get really tired of playing video games
>want a nice cute caring gf like everyone else, but feel as if there is no purpose in life
>start questioning my existence, read the entire bible front to back.
>fast forward 1 yr later, be 19
>find my own purpose for living
>2 yrs later, be 21
>in college, 3.5GPA, join honors program
>lost a ton of weight, did MMA, tried to adequately educate myself
>bust my ass off and I finally get my first gf
>feel ontop of the world at this point, all of my hardwork felt like it was paying off
>fast forward 2 weeks later gf dad doesn't want us together
>"sorry but I can't change his mind, goodbye".
>lose first gf and soon a domino affect occurred
>confidence plummets
>women pretended to like me, but just plaid mind games with me
>literally every woman after gf
>women from the past came back to taunt me
>new social I created with new friends deteriorates
>two friends left, but eventually I was either replaced or they left
>drop out of college, hygiene is going to shit
>exhaustively trying to build my investment portfolio in order to get wealthy
>I don't feel anything anymore, all I care and want is revenge for all the bullshit I get put through
>everything is 10x harder then other people because my family's poor as fuck and don't really have jobs
>childhood dog is dying
>dad already go admitted to the ER twice for heart failure
>parents almost 60 and no retirement funds whatsoever
>sister is moving with her bf and doesn't really give a shit
>literally full with nothing but pure emptiness and hatred

Just remember anons, it can always get worse.

>School dance proceeds
>Thank god this all happened before social media because that would have tormented me
>Keep coming to school depressed every morning
>Become addicted and I mean hardcore addicted to caffeine
>Would drink 3 espressos every morning and 3 when I got back home
>The days just melted together
>Watching them be happy together while I was depressed
>Find out the next day that that bastard, let's call him Ben, had 5 GFs in the last 6 months
>He was using her
>Found her attractive for nothing but her body
>Professor father's words echoed: Fairy tale love does not exist
>Start spiraling down until I hit rock bottom around early March
>Winter is depressing enough up here but this
>Rumor gets out that Ben made her give him a BJ
>Believe it because everyone I talk to says the same thing
>Same teacher notices my depression and my B's turning into C's
>Takes me aside again, this time in class
>Puts me in the hallway and tells me to take as much time as I need
>That teacher was my bro, based history teacher to
>Begin to think that they may break up soon as his last relationship last 3 weeks
>Hopedawns.png

>>691580290
Shall I continue anons, the last few parts are really hard for me?

>>691580378
sure

>>691580378

Finish your story

>>691580378
dont half ass this man

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sDondcmvKE8

this fucking song man

>>691557605
To be honest its like this for everyone. People look for benefits. Even when you just hangout with someone, it comes with benefits.

People stay "friends" as long as they are classmates, work at the same place, shit like that. Or, if they wanna fuck. Then either people get together or just stop talking.

- Yours sincery,
Cpt. Obvious

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ti2Am51U-L4

>>691580517
Fuck I'm gonna have to do it

>Sure enough their relationship ends
>Still like her despite everything
>My dad's advice had not quite taken root so me and my naivete chased after her again
>Be around early April now more after school activities taking place
>figure after school would be the best time to ask for her number
>Wait for a few weeks because don't want to seem too creepy
>Decide to do it
>We're both waiting to be picked up by our parents in this tiny cold vestibule
>Both are parents are late so I take this as a sign
>Little beta me decides to work up the courage to do it after 10 minutes
>Still remember what I said
>"You're really fun to talk to and I want to get to know you better can I have your number please?"
>At the time it seemed good but looking back at beta me...
>CRINGE AF
>She responds with "I don't know my number and my phone's almost dead"
>Redflag.jpg
>Just then my mom pulls in
>Have to go but I can see her out of the corner of my eye
>Staring at me
>Decide not to tell my mom because it would be the scoop of the whole family
>Call my friends later that day
>They say there's still hope
>Theyweresowrong.bat

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>>691555815
This is a great picture.

Some cutie pie sits right next to me in my Music class. A summer music class... with only four people in the class...
Announces first day of class that she's a serious science geek. Mentions her boyfriend and how they go to church together.

But she's hitting on me in class the next day, veeeeery awkwardly. (FEELS GUD MAYNE)
Last class she sits alone on her phone. Probably trying to get a hold of her boyfriend. And all I do is walk out the door right past her.
But I can't wait until next class period that I get to see her again. I can tell she's starting to understand the feelings we're expressing here tonight. And it's hurting her deeply. And she thinks I might have the answers. And I know I do. But I can't push myself to care enough because we'll most likely end up seriously talking and I'll end up with some easy-prep copy pasta feel thread story. I don't need any more reasons to drink before I turn 21 by the end of Summer.

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>>691574905
Great song for feels threads
https://soundcloud.com/spaceboyneil/apathy

>>691571105
Of course i've been, for the past three years, but i couldn't do anything about it, she loved someone else. I rejected so many girls because i couldn't stop thinking about her.

We are one for the other, we like the same thigs, she likes guys like me, but she only wants me as a friend. I would love to not be so attched to her, but i can't even do that, because i love her.

>>691581569
There anymore?

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I dont get it /b/. Once i was like these People in the Comics. Depressed, alone and full of hate. But after realising that i can do something against this, i have put my shit together and did something. Now i have a GF, i am not Depressed anymore (because of Antidepressants) and my Anxiety is totally gone.

You always can do something about your Situation!

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>>691569163

>>691581569

>End of year time
>No contact with Jenny for about a week or so
>Friends all say that there is still hope
>Joey, whom is one of the only friends from HS that I still keep in touch with today tells me something
>He can get her number from the after school activity that he's in
>They publish a list for all the members so everyone can keep in touch
>I think it's a bad idea because my dad's advice kicked in
>Lo and behold that day I get a text in class from Joey that's a phone number
>Start asking him what to do
>I know what my dad's going to say so I don't ask
>Everyone, even people I don't know are urging me to do it
>Wrestle with the thought for a while
>Then Joey comes over to stay the night to play Halo the weekend before finals
>Convinces me to text her saying I need help with studying and that Joey referred me to her
>Thought it was a bad idea but did it anyway because peer pressure
>No response for quite some time
>2 hours
>I still remember where I was when it happened
>We were watching the shitty Flash Gordon Movie from the 70's
>Right as Flash is going to get gassed I feel it
>VMMMMMMP
>Heartdrop.exe

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>>691580260
That sucks.
But I would kill for a chance at a 3.5GPA
Fuck hygiene nigga.
You'll find friends who actually listen to you and care one way or another, no matter what. You really believe you won't find a bro out there just like yourself??? ;)

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>>691564578
All alone, or in two's,
The ones who really love you
Walk up and down outside the wall.
Some hand in hand
And some gathered together in bands.
The bleeding hearts and artists
Make their stand.

And when they've given you their all
Some stagger and fall, after all it's not easy
Banging your heart against some mad bugger's wall.

>>691582415
MY shrink wanted to put me on antidepresants but i flat out refused because i don't want to be fixed with drugs.

How has your experience with them been?

You all are fucking me up. Shouldn't have lurked here tonight...

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bump

>>691583447
This thread is waaaay past the bump limit, newfriend.

>>691582566
>Get text
>Not from who I think it is
>It's her father
>In all caps there it is
>"DON'T EVER TEXT MY DAUGHTER AGAIN!"
>Close the phone
>Throw it across room and put hole through wall
>Dad gets pissed and sends Joey home
>Sends me to room
>Feelsbadman.wmv
>How could I have fucked up so many times
>Why did I not listen to my dad
>I thought it was her number for sure but maybe it was her dad's
>Something along the lines of "Hey jenny"
>Maybe the number Joey got was wrong
>It wasn't
>Had friend of hers confirm it and gather intel about the whole situation
>The whole time she thought I was a creepy basement dweller and laughed at me behind her back
>Explain situation to dad
>Calls her a cunt and asks me to get in his car
>Drives me to nearest gas station and tells me to wait
>Comes out with a bag and tosses a beer into my hands
>"What'd I tell you son but what the hell, you've been through enough this year"
>Never saw her again after that

Now I'm a bitter biomed engy student at UNI with a single dorm, when I'm not studying I'm playing vidya or on here looking for these threads to vent. I've never attempted to pick up girls at my UNI in following of my dad's advice. None of them were like her, even after all she put me through I still have dreams of her face from time to time. They torment me but this whole ordeal has made me stronger and I am thankful for it in the long-run because it redpilled me earlier than most.