Tell her about your sexual fantasy involving 2 cucumbers and an irishman wearing a kilt.

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wtf someone stole the toilet seat!

Ask her out

get her horny, and then tell her your fantasy of using a double dildo with her

>>691500144
I'd like to eat you out ;)

send a dickpick

Tell her about your mental disorder :^)

>>691500144
Wanna come over , little bitch?

>>691500588
O nice start>>691500588

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Dubs still decided next

And I would like to fuck you like I fuck my dog

I bet you're a wet little slut

I wanna fuck you like one of my whores ;)

>>691500747
i meant take you out to eat haha

>>691500539
rollin

>>691500969
Sorry I meant I want to fuck you in your sweet little ass

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Number 8 decides

how often do you meet cucks like me?>>691500144

>>691500747
Let's use spagetti as lube

>>691500747
Wanna see me roll my dick inside out and finger my urethra like a red, quivering flesh donut?

>>691501033
this op

You won't be laughing when I'm balls deep in your tight pussy

Do you know the bean boy

>>691501067
What's it take to see a sexy girl like you naked

I identify as a Cup of Ramen and my pronouns are Slurp/Slurp'm

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LMAO now 8 decides

>>691501216
roll

So, when my niece gets naked and sits in my lap, is it an invitation? She is really wet for a 6 year old so I assume it is.

>>691501067
Your ass will be a limp spagetti O when I'm done with you

would you consider 3 inches to be big?>>691500144

>>691501262
Based OP

>>691501325
R O L L

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>>691501262
This thread is a good thread.

>>691501262
Then you can get the dildo from your room and fuck me like the slut I am

>>691501325
Roll

I'm sorry that was a little too far. But I'd love to you see you undressed

>>691501363
roll

where do you get your clown makeup from?>>691500144

>>691501262
Nigger me up the ass with a hotdog

>>691501262
I've gotten pretty good at it, but sometimes it rolls back up over my hand, and my dick looks like a stretched balloon

I WANT TO FUCK YOU LIKE AN ANIMAL!

>>691501325
This

>>691501594
roll

>>691500539
This

>>691501262
dont' lol me again on, girl, i'm serious. i already started cutting.

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>>691500144

They call me the pussy destroyer. Fear the might of my 4 inch cock!

>>691501678
Again

>>691501262
If you say lol one more time I won't show my my secret trick

Haha Op here keep the great comments coming

Ever seen cakefarts.com?

I really want you to fart on a cake for me

>>691501479
Does chicken flavor ramen count as lube?

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>>691501714
is that duncan from yogscast?

>>691501811
8 or dubs?

>>691501622
This, please, to continue coherent replies.

>>691501840
Roll

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I'm loving it

>>691501840
This

>>691501714
why did he even video this?
genuinely curious

Have you ever licked a peepee while another peepee chummed in between your butt cheeks?

>>691501994
YEAHHUHHH OP THAT'S THE STUFF

>>691502123
Strolling

>>691502123
ROLLING

Hi, I'm posting our conversation on 4chan

>>691502123
Restroll

>>691501994
My urethra looks like a goose when I think of you

I once had a threesome with my mom and dog
id like to have a threesome with you too, you can play the dog (winky face emoji)

My stepdad taught me how to get three fingers in an ass without scratching

>>691500539
Roll

>>691502123
Stroll

>>691502463
Mighty

How much do I need to pay for 2hours?

>>691501994
Can I see how many peanut butter crackers can fit in your asshole?

>>691502114
Think he said it was for a girl

Come on, someone get dubs again

>>691502374
Your heart's in the right place, but check these dubs and words.
"Lately, putting my phone on vibrate in my gaping urethra has been the thing for me. I'm just waiting for another message from you, babe. ;)"

>>691501994
>>691502420
>420
op has to send it

>>691502754
Off by one. Oh well, reroll.

>>691501930
kekekek

>>691502794
OP do it
>420 you niggers

I don't think she's gonna respond again give me some kik names and I'll try again

I'm a nice 5 inch but I can fuck you with a strap on if that's not big enough for your nigger cunt

>>691501994
>>691503088
OP DO IT

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Done

I got a bowl of shrimp ramen at my place and some netflix, wanna goose?

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Done done

>>691503052
AshestoAshes678

>>691503236
Let's rp, I'll start.
It's dead of winter, you're stuck in a cabin, and sweet grandma philnut is getting in a spicy irish-mexican gangbang. What do you do?

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Donarino

>>691503236
Shit I am so sorry, my friend got a hold of my phone. He's got mental issues, he's autistic and also a jew.

Tell her to send nudes

>>691503543
This

>>691503543
Nice excuse
>gypsy jews always stealing phone

>>691503481
Do it OP

>>691503633
And post them here

>>691503543
rolling for this

>>691503499
I'm sorry for being weird, I'm just trying to tell you the hard stuff now so it doesn't get in the way of our love later. I'd let you do urethral suff to me any day.

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Perfect timing too lmao she just read them all

>>691503929
OH SHIT FREAKJEW IS FIGHTIDWJL EM

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She's so turned on she doesn't know what to say

>>691503929
Excellent

>>691504054
This, please.

>>691504095
Kek

>>691504187
ROLLERINO

>>691504054
rollerino

>>691504095
You've clearly never met a jew in life

>>691504095
>Be me, texting friend
>all of a sudden talking about shrimp ramen and threesomes with dogs
>wat

The strap on idea doesn't sound too bad though I must admit

>>691504095
Hey fair lady would you please ignore all those mgtow comments previously posted, im the kind of guy that will be in the kitchen for you.

wanna see some child porn ?

>>691504095
I DO like the urethra stuff, though. No idea how he knew about that.

>>691504095
I just burned the annoying jew

this girl is not worth chatting with
stupid ass one word responses
also it looks like a trap

>>691501033
Baosss

*unsheathes katana* You sir, have just unleashed the anger that has been building within me for the last ten years of rejection, sexual frustration and loneliness as I've lurked in the darkness. I am about to turn into a monster that will ravage your body and defile your corpse.... You will feel unimaginable pain *growls*. Are you prepared to die? Too bad, because your time is up.

>>691504422
Ayy lmao

>>691504095
Let's rp, I'll start
It's dead of winter, you're stuck in a cabin, and sweet grandma philnut is getting in a spicy irish-mexican gangbang. What do you do?
10/10 would send OP

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Keep them coming

>>691504422
KEK

>>691504590
Roll

>>691504095
omg im am SO SORRY, but if you wouldnt mind the urethral play then.....

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>>691504422

>>691504422
double dubs, winrar

>>691504590
Roll

>>691504606
OP please do

Can you send me a pic of your big fat tits to make up for this

>>691504590
Reroll

>>691504590
Rolling

>>691504477

>>691504646
I've gotten it stretched up to normal size dildos, so we can use yours if you'd like.

>>691504609
Let's rp, I'll start
It's dead of winter, you're stuck in a cabin, and sweet grandma philnut is getting in a spicy irish-mexican gangbang. What do you do?

>>691504646
>>691504798
These two, together, please.

>>691504609
That will be in the kitchen on you. Sorry I misspelled. I couldn't really pick up on where we're at in terms of my mom and dog participating. You might've missed that part but I really value my family and their participation. We'll never work if you won't fuck my dog.

My father still beats me even tho I am 40 :(

>>691504422
winrar

>>691504882
Reroll

nigger cunt LOL

>>691501325
Roll

You have a strong jawline. I hope a dick doesn't come with that

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>>691504422
Op will surely deliver.

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Dubs gets next comment

I accidentally fucked ur dad

Let's rp, I'll start
It's dead of winter, you're stuck in a cabin, and sweet grandma philnut is getting in a spicy irish-mexican gangbang. What do you do?

>>691504422
OP YOU MUST

I shove Pokemon figures up my ass and pretend I'm catching them all

>>691505096
Roll

>>691505068
>>691504977

>>691505059
I hope so

>>691505181
Roll

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Haha dubs

>>691504422
OP DELIVER

Can you reply with more than 2 words you fucking bitch I'm trying to get my dick wet here and you're not helping

>>691505096
Roll.

>>691505068
>>691504422

>>691504422
deliver OP

JK I'm so alfa you'll have hard time staying concious while i slide my gigantic cock inside your nosdrils wanna come over?

My ass is so dry I want you to piss in it

>>691504422
Double dubs op you must deilver

>>691505335
Roll

>>691505096
roll..

>>691505335
Reroll

Op here, trying to get a nice story going. Give me another kik account and I'll ask them if they want to see some child porn

>>691504422
Reroll

>>691505096
Roll...

>>691505285
Roll

>>691505489
Op kys you must deliver....

>>691505533
OP double dubs rolling on double dubs you must deliver

>>691505533
>>691504422
FUCKING TWICE
HURRY UP OP

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Lol fuck it

would you fuck my goldfish? his name is sheldon

ISAW A FUCKIN JIGABOO BIG BALOON AN IT ATTAK MY MOMM I NERLY DIED HOLDY FUC WHAT THE HEL R AR WE GON DO BOUT YHIS SHIT YA FEAR

>>691505489
LittleMsMelanie OP

>>691505266
Baby please I just want some puntang and you are being really difficult after all this effort I put in. You won't even have to move or anything. I just want to empty my babybatter inside you. Just be cool and fulfill your purpose in life as a baby factory.

>>691505096
Reroll

>>691505693
YES OP!!!

>>691500144
Prove this isn't fake, OP

>>691505693
and that was when op was arrested

>>691505738
Reroll

>>691505727
Roll

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

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I got a kinky one here

>>691505693
5555 TOP KEKS

>>691505693
KEKEKEK

never mind i can shit on your face if you like

>>691505839
HOLY SHIT OP KEK

>>691505693
PLEASE CURE MY AUTISM WITH YOUR SWEET TITS

>>691505738
Rerolling

>>691505839
ABORT

>>691505839
Wtf

>>691505693
S A V A G E
A
V
A
G
E

would you stab me in the pee pee

>>691505738
Rerolllll

I'd show you some if you show me some

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>>691505693
Just for that OP ill leak my ex gf nudes

>>691505839
send her this OP https://uloz.to/live/!ef5ehB2g/zachod-zesileny-avi

>>691505096
Reroll.

>>691505737
Not op but I can message her. what should i say?

>>691505738
Rerolll

>>691505999
WINRAR! Trips decided!

Send a dick pic

>>691505839
then cum over and look at muh dick

I'm sorry for all the things I said, I was having suicidal thoughts for over a month and this is a part of my theraphy. So will you fuck my dog while I suck on your titties?

I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I’m fucking retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you to call me “Apache” and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can’t accept me you’re a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.

>>691505999
DELIVER ON TRIPS

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>>691505839
"here ya go"

>>691505738
Plzzz reroll right this time.

>>691506069
Scared to click

>>691506069
polak spotted

>>691506074
Anything dude

I would berry my dick so far in your ass whoever pulls it out would be crowned King Arthur

>>691506069
rolling for this

>>691505096
Rerolll

>>691505999
Trips

>>691506154
Rolling for this

>>691505693
Fuck my damn schizophrenic dad keeps typing this shit while im in the kitchen cooking steak, im watching him for the weekend. Sorry let me make it up to you by taking you to dinner.

>>691505738
Rerollll

>>691506194
czech actually

Let's rp, I'll start.
It's dead of winter, you're stuck in a cabin, and sweet grandma philnut is getting in a spicy irish-mexican gangbang. What do you do?

>>691506154
Reroll

>>691506154
reroll

OH HELL NAW TRY GOT FLYIN GODDAMN BANCU NUC HEIR OH SHIT WE GON DIE TONITE

>>691506319
Not dubs but I'm doing it

>>691505738
Rerollllll

>>691501714
that looks like The Amazing Atheist a few years ago... Is it him?

>>691506174
fag

>>691506368
Rerollll

I really like granny tits

>>691505738
Rerolllllll

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>>691506069

>>691506361
same shit

Send her screenshot of conversation and text "I'm watching you"

>>691506115
Roll

send her moon man song as she is a nigga
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vYAxkRAQ_CQ

>>691506368
Rerolllll

You guys are utterly fucking stupid. She isn't even remotely into it; she doesn't give a fuck about you, OP.

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Keep it going

>>691506500
checked

I need nudes

>>691506586
no shit

>>691506550
WINRAR

>>691506626
Let's rp, I'll start..
It's dead of winter, you're stuck in a cabin, and sweet grandma philnut is getting in a spicy irish-mexican gangbang. What do you do?

>>691506586
white knight detected.

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>>691506586
Fuck off

>>691506154
Rerolll

>>691506733
Dubs, post OP

>>691506782
what's cx?

op you gotta win this girl over and get the nudes. for /b/

>>691501122
I wana paint your face with my cum despenser

>>691506788
^ OP ^

>>691506733
Dubs nigga

>>691506154
Roll

>>691506550
Send her link op

>>691506926
same as :), but it involves sex