Be a girl

>>691071357
Stop being ugly fagit

>>691071461
Good idea. Any real shit?

>>691071357
pretend to be a girl

i actually got way more matches than i did with a guy profile.. then when you meet up the chick thinks " well i already went outside to meet , so might as well go along with it" so it works. make sure you choose a pretty girl pic

>>691071862
By making an entirely new female facebook? Seems tedious

>>691071862
This would only work in your fucked up head, that's autism boy

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>>691071449
Underrated post

>>691071357
Show us the pics you have and we can help to see if they are suitable

>>691072228
i would not be listing it as a viable option if i have not tried it out myself. it works 7/10 times, and it helps to find out what they're comfortable with, e.g. threesomes etc

>>691071357
>can't get matches
kek, you think that is the hard part?

>>691072365
That's called catfishing and you're retarded if you think this is even slightly believable.

have you ever thought that you're just fat and ugly?

>>691071862
This dude's right. Just don't overdo it

>>691072954
Lol

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Here goes nothing. Not fat, I think I look relatively normal

>>691072918
99% of the time this is the reason. Bitches are shallow as fuck

>>691073124
Dude I think max you're a 7. You look like you have confidence issues though

>>691071357
doesn't matter, i have a billion matches, and only two replies. tinder is worthless. girls only use it to feel attractive, not to meet anyone.

>>691073124
well, you are ugly. and you're posting your pic here, so you certainly are retarded.

>>691073269
You aren't off.

>>691073124
you're pretty cute actually, what do you put on your profile?

>>691073592
6'0 (I actually am)

School, workplace, usually a stupid joke or pun

>>691073839
That's kinda simple

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https://imgur.com/a/p1s8d

Bio: Clean cut is my game. Well, most of the time.

<COLLEGE NAME>'20
Business Admin.

I get a decent amount of matches, but barely any replies. Someone help me out?

>>691073910
Bio is more important than you think, I'll upload mine in a minute.

>>691074004
I know that, I figured the simplistic approach was a decent way to go.

>>691073896

I try to change it up frequently when shit doesn't work.

>>691073487
Kek

>>691074087
To what?

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>>691073910
>>691074004
>>691074070
This bio's a really good conversation starter. If a girl messages me first, it's usually telling me that she laughed at it.

>>691073124
1. do as the girls do: make yourself look as good as possible. Good smile, filters, etc. Girls don't like guys bragging with weights and showing their muscles. This picture is horrible for tinder
2. Don't yes-swipe too much. The algoritm will judge you're ugly and a lot of girls you 'yes' won't get tto see you because you're out of their leage. This is why people who only swipe right stil get no matches.
3. Have some patience.

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>>691074455
Damn thats good. Not OP, but maybe ill try smoth like that too

>>691074455
Goddamn that's clever.

Don't mind me, I'm gonna use that. Probably minus the Korean tho lol

>>691074467
>Girls don't like guys bragging with weights and showing their muscles
I guess it depends on the girl, but if you're a good looking guy in the face, showing off your muscles is a guaranteed right-swipe if it wasn't before. Weights aren't necessarily attractive but demonstrate that you take care of your body and attract gymrat girls. As long as you're not writing about how much you can press then there's no harm in putting a gym pic on your profile.

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>>691074709
But the Korean is the best part

>>691075423
Alright, you got me. I'm laughing loudly at 5AM.

Adding now.

>>691075423
Okay, that's clever

>>691073124
Hello zac efron

>>691074455
first line is pretty good.
the review section is a good creative concept but girls probably think it's borderline autistic.

>>691075009
I agree with you. What I meant was that a lot of guys try to act 'fit' on tinder even though they arent. They get tired of it. Just like we get tired of bithes holding a nigger baby in some 3th world country

looks are everything. If you're relly good looking you don't have to do shit. Same for girls: big tits/ass is instaright for most of us.
The thing with being mediocre looking or ugly is to be original in one way or another. And looking at your best possible.

>>691075645
At this point, anything is worth a shot

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>>691075009
>implying dr. swole doesn't crush gym bunnies whilst chugging a protein shake in one hand and curling a buck fiddy in the other then she's telling him how thankful she truly is for giving her a cardio pump

>>691075818
Agreed. We are on Tinder.
Clearly we aren't cutting it in person, so we need a buffer.

Why not get a little original?

>>691075818
well it's better than this

<COLLEGE NAME>'20
Business Admin.

>>691075645
Tell that to 176 matches

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>>691071357
Guys... I need help. I have a girl whos down to come over my place Friday. I live with my sisters and mom. I have 1 day to prepare. What the fuck do i do. Losing my v card. Tips for making it look like only my sisters live there? Plz help. One think i got going, i have Adderal and once it kicks in im basically in the clear. Advice? Also im 25 year old virgin.

>>691071357

Pretend to be someone you aren't. That's what everyone else does.

>>691076285
>Splendid!

No.

>>691076485
WELL FAG IT FUCKING WORKED SOOOOOOO

>>691074455
you just suck at tinder. "eating tacos on the streets and pizza in the sheets, tryin not to get too saucy" is all i have on my profile and I fuckin slang mad dick for some reason. I also have a nice beard.

>>691076371
I'm not a fake ass cuck, minus the stars in my new bio.

>>691076285
I read the past ones, dear god do you sound overexcited.

Fucking CLEAN THE PLACE. HARD.

Make your bio short and sweet. If you have to scroll on your own bio, then it's too long.

Also, the words "future trophy husband" usually gets women to comment on it.

>>691076285
How old are you?

>>691076594
I know.. I know.... nigger im surprised i got it. What excuse should i use to kick my family out?

>>691071357
Its because you're ugly. Use a fake pic of a hot dude and just catfish em since you cant get any pussy.

/thread

>>691076641
25 but im tired as fuck so im not thinking straight. Fucking A

>>691076690
You could be honest.

Like bro, you're a fucking adult, literally go up to your mom and ask if you can use the place for 3 hours.

Shit, she'll probably throw you a goddamn party.

>>691076641
Judging on the Splendid! thing, probably about 15

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>>691076285
If you're on addy you won't be able to pop a boner friendo. Which choice will you make? Faking you don't live with your mother or not disappointing your first potential fug?

I use tinder every day and swipe right on girls who look ok until I run out of swipes for the day because who the fuck uses tinder plus but I have a question what do girls actually think when someone super likes them

>>691076790
My moms under the impression im not a virgin, also dont live with my mom but im visiting to help my sister out with things. Fucking i do sound like an over eager faggot. She could say no still but fuck i gotta go through with it.

>>691077017
Dunno, actually had 1 chick want to hook up to forget her boyfriend, but she likely found someone hotter.

>>691077122
Ask her then. Literally pitch it as a favor, she's your sister, she probably has to have some annoying shit that needs to be done.

Do that in exchange for the place for a few hours.

>>691077017
They typically think it's creepy. But some just pretend like you normally liked them instead.

>>691077237
Same as when they normal swipe anyone. The super-like doesn't change their mind about anything, it just gives you quicker exposure to her.

>>691073910
You have to make an impression, don't just stop at "Hey" You have to start a conversation, the girl won't initiate shit in my experience

>>691077259
thanks mate. FML i want to die, i think she might say no because i was such an over eager cock sucker but im still going to go through with it.

>>691077590
I either throw a pick up line or say, "Hey, I love your profile pic! Very pretty" or something like that, I change it up depending on what their profile pic is.

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>>691071357
Wow, i really blew it quick didnt i. Bitch said i was cute and i fucking blew it. I wasnt thinking lol

>>691077703
I usually go with "Awesome! You go to [college], what's your major?" Just make it an open question to start the ball rolling.

>>691071357
One thing you could do, is to shut off your internet, go outside and start meeting people. The first few months will be disastrous, you'll have major personality identity crisis, and you're most likely going to reform your values and morals, then your looks and your preferences, and then in a few months, when you're starting to see people and make friends, there's a slight chance that somebody will invite you to a party, you'll chat up a girl and maybe get lucky.

The internet is for porn, if you don't want to be a single soldier holding your dick in your hands, get a life without the internet. >win

>>691077997
I suck at talking to women in person, starting conversations and shit.

I'm the guy that they initially find attractive, and then slowly lose interest when they catch on to my weirdness.

>>691077836
15 minutes and no reply, anyway i can salvage this?

>>691077237
>>691077320
Really I was once super liked by this girl but she didn't look good and even though I use my one super like per day it gets accepted sometimes

>>691078608

Not likely

>>691078608
No. Don't send her anything more messages. If she's still interested she'll msg you. You'll come off creepy if you send her multiple messages without a response from her.

Alright fellas.
Got matched with a 9.5 asian chick with a all-star rack.

Bio is this
"Disney super fan who likes to make puns. Former Jersey girl who sings...alot. I'm into old music from the 50s and 70s"

I was gonna ask her if she liked Martin Sexton(Old 70s author) along with complimenting her profile pic

Good opening line or naw?

>>691078804
>>691078818
Ahh fuck thanks. I really liked her tho. She replied quick too. Fuck.

>>691078165
You didn't hear him. Do it and that shit will eventually go away. You will gain confidence. You will learn what to say. And when to say it.

I actually originally was using this formula an anon gave in an old tinder thread but then modified it and now only use the "Hey your adorable" part at the beginning then talk leading into me asking them if they want to smoke

>>691077997
Wow, get out of here.

A couple of months from now and I'll be 21 and still a virgin. I'm decent looking and have had opportunities before but didn't go for it when I could have.

Could someone share success stories?

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>fuck a different girl at least once a week from tinder with this as my 2nd photo

>>691079184
Why is that man naked in a public restroom?

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>Protip: Try getting off the goddamn internet and talking to people irl.

>>691079299
I commute to work on a bike and I change in the bathroom. What's funny is I've never had a female ask me that.

>>691079405
I think they're hoping it isn't public if you catch my drift.

After a match, using "Hey" is usually a killer because most likely she has 50 other matches starting with that. That's boring. Read her bio and make a comment on it. If there is nothing there, use some go to easy ones like saying her name e.g "Sarah!"
If she responds, eventually lead up to asking for her real number so you become real in her mind.

>>691079529
>not stripping naked when you poop

>>691079669
Ps. This generally doesn't matter if you lucked out in the looks/genetics lottery.

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>>691071357
After the Marine Corps I moved out to AZ, with 3 weeks of being in state I fucked 6 different girls, two became a reliable fuck buddy. Your best bet is to make your page both presentable and desirable, make them curious about you right off the bat. This includes your first pic because unlike guys, girls have dozens of matches everyday and take their pick from the best. Even if you aren't interesting you only need to pull this off for the night. Use something witty on your first message, not just hey. Read them, if you think they like funny, make them laugh, if you think they're shallow, make it seem like you're worth more then you actually are. Also you must hit it within about 3 days or they're gonna lose interest.

>>691079139
>One time, I had a sex with this one girl.

>>691079966
Mate, it was fucking sick ayy

>>691077836
Why tf are you blocking her face out? You don't even have their last names. I need to know if you fucked up with a hawt grill.

Virgin who's about to have sex tomarrow. How do i have sex? I jerk off so much i can last a long time, like 30 minutes but idk. Advice? Yes i feel like a loser.

>>691074455
Cringeworthy autistic.

For tinder you dont need anything except a good pic. You look good they talk to you as simple as that.
No one gives a fuck about your bio, but afaik interests matter because the search algorithm will searcj for people with similar interests

>>691079815
Naked bathroom guy here. As soon as I get a match I open with

"You are absolutely gorgeous. Hi."

The majority of females respond to this. Actually fucked a Native American chick who told me she only responded because that was something she hadn't heard before.

Will post a screen of my inbox if interest is expressed

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>>691080185
Post it!

>>691078934
Don't go for an author if she says she likes songs from the 50s and 70s. Do some research. Ask her what she likes like music wise. if she likes jazz, go with Herbie Hancock. Idk man. Maybe go with the Disney super fan thing. Ask her what her favorite movie is. Don't go for complimenting her off the bat. If she's hot, she knows it, shown interest in something other then the boobs thay she already knows are great. Gl faggot.

>>691076285
Shouldnt you have waited to know that you have a free house for yourself first? That will be your main problem

>>691080185
*Interest Expresses*

>>691080158
That bio has gotten me a few matches already.


>>691080185
Was thinking about doing this plus adding
"I read you like 70s music, ever heard of Martin Sexton?"

"You are absolutely gorgeous, I also read that you like 70s music, have you heard of Martin Sexton?"

You're using the wrong app you faggot! Use Grinder

>>691079184
You misspelled "guy" and "grindr"

>>691079700
This guy knows what the fuck is up.

>>691080294
Hmm. Still need a way to phrase it.

Mind helping me flesh out an opening line?

I can handle a convo just fine, just can't start one.

>>691079669
Underated fucking post.
Always go for something based on her profile. It makes it seem like you acrually read it instead of looking at her slooty pictures. Even tho you were.

>>691080158
Then I must be a pretty sexy autist. It gets me laid, so I must be doing something right.

>>691071357
Anyone care to tell me how their "hook ups" went? Kinda curious what to expect, im about to have one soon.

>>691081150
>>691079903

>>691080152
Pro tip: Jacking off is nothing like sex endurance.
For instance,
>was fucking this chick was very drunk and high.
>Couldn't stay hard
>She was cool so I was like hey ima go piss and try to jack off to get hard.
>Accidentally came.
They are nothing alike dude.
Gl faggot.

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>>691080319
For some reason my inbox always hovers around 100~150 matches / messages. I think the older messages auto delete after inactivity.

>>691081312
Pfft. Fuck my life.

>>691080294
Wait. I've got it!

"Am I a beast? Cause you definitely are a beauty."

Disney themed pickup line?

"My name's obviously not Sully, but you can be my boo."

>>691081312
Now I just need to get that lol

>>691080294
OK but how many lines involving her interests this girl has seen before? Disney is the easiest thing to work with so you know she's had at least a dozen convos with guys about the Lion King. Come up with something unexpected that will actually hold her attention.

>>691081420
See above naked bathroom picture and realize all women are shallow cunts when given anonymity

>>691081476
See this

>>691081456

>>691081312
profile pic?

>>691080504
I got you /b/ro.
go to your choice either the music or Disney thing. I think go with music thing.
Just be like literally this, no "hey"
"50s and 70s huh? What kind of music?"
Add her name if you want. Add a compliment if you want. I wouldn't. She gave you enough to work with already. Gl man. Lemme know

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>>691073397
This

Tinder is worthless. I've gone out on dates and fucked a couple but overall worthless

>>691081259
nigger how does that help me? I mean thats cool but it tell me nothing mate, idk what to expect.

>>691081617
Just scroll up it's the only naked bathroom picture in the thread

>>691081823
Swol

>>691081773
match.com is worse

Tinder has made online dating lazy

>>691081476
That's why I suggested the music thing. Any girl can say she likes music but this girl gave a specific and pretty unique time. This is your time to be unique when talking to her. Ask her what kind if music from that Era then look up some, not the one she says, and ask if she likes that. Shows you know something about it as well that isn't what she just said. I.e. Herbie Hancock. I actually like him and I might steal this bitch from you if you fuck up.
>>691081456
Yeah you could go corny Disney pick up lines but make your choice, cuz once you say something you can't take it back.

>>691082109
I bet! When I imagine match.com, I imagine chicks hardly replying.

Okcupid is ok

>>691081312
If you don't fuck Kyra I'll be dissapointed in you anon.

>>691082349
Naked bathroom anon here.

I don't want the aids but I'll message her because you took time out of your day to post.

>>691082501
godspeed naked bathroom man

>>691082343
oh that would imply there is anyone left on it.

in short, my experience, 80% of profiles were inactive/membership had expired - ie they cant read messages
They charge you a lot for an account
They then try and sell you more to effectively pay for others membership

I ended up getting a refund after 2 days on a 6 month subscriptions

3 years ago it was quite different.

Okcupid seems to attract anything but what i look for in a girl

>>691082501
Good. Thank you. Go get that aids naked bathroom anon. You'll always be remembered here.
Your absolutely gorgeous. Hi.
Will be on your gravestone.

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>>691082593

Choose her fate.

Normally tinder breads are all terrible. There is some legitimate advice in here

>>691082343
In my experience, Okcupid seems to attract uglies and nutjobs.

>>691082888
Check'd

>Fuck i want to suck my horses cum out of you.
> do you like horses?

>>691082726
Yeah I figured

>>691082969
So true. I met my crazy ex of 5 months from there.

>>691082969
I did meet one chick on OkCupidthat was pretty down, one night stand wise, 9/10 worked at hooters, low self esteem latina, muy bueno

>>691082888
Fuck that guy, he'll ruin it. I'm the one that wants you to fuck her. Don't ruin it with /b/ advice... ah fuck it I guess this'll be just as good kek

>>691083104
Delivery incoming.

>>691082888
"Hey, I want to have sex with strangers who are also skilled and very intimate in bed? If you are of the same interest like mine, add me on kik to have an intimate and unforgettable experience in bed"

also dubs

>>691081802
what else do you need? follow that advice, the rest is almost completely reliant on you

>>691082888
Fuck I hate niggers

>>691082888
Tell her you ate shrimp rotten bacon spoiled orange juice and cheap beer, next comes the beef and beans. Tell her you want to fart in her mouth until she passes out. Then ask if she trusts you and tell her you love her.

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>>691083104
Verbatim

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>>691083413
My niggas getin laid tonight!

>>691083413
Christ. The fact you have the opportunity to do this

>>691083522
More like my equine

>>691083615
You don't have matches?

>>691083676
Currently, not a one.

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>>691083615>>691083615
I'll round up some more hot girl matches. Best suggestion gets delivery.

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>>691083780
Bruh, where do you live? I literally just moved a week ago and I have multiple dates this weekend

>>691071862
So you can fuck dank boy pussy when you surprise them with your ugly face

>>691083931
SoCal. I know, primo stuck-up bitch territory. But I don't even match with uglies, so what does that say about me?

>>691083918
> you are absolutely gorgeous. Hi.
Broo wtf

>>691084230
What area anon. I live 15 mins away from LA.

>>691084230
I think that you know what it says about you m8.

>>691084230
Nothing. Honestly, I came from so cal like 951 and 323 and I matched a lot. Just post pictures of you doing shit like working out, sight seeing, shit chicks think are fun. Keep your bio straight and short.
> I'm just here looking for cool people for some new experiences

>>691084427
OC

>>691084230
When you do match, I like to start with a like
> Hi, I'm anon. Are you from Riverside?

>>691084477
Heh, seems to work for everyone but myself.

>>691084281
being this beta and not realising that you can go completely direct and drop your guard and it doesn't make girls run a mile

>>691084642
Can't be ugly.

Sorry friendo.

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>>691084730
Every single guy on tinder starts with that shit...
>beta

>>691071751
realistically besides coming up with some good witty openers, being attractive, being interesting, theres nothing we can really tell you.

Even fugly girls will get more matches then they can handle on tinder. most will choose the hottest guys from the thousand matches they have. Others will just go with whoever was the most interesting with their opening.

So sorry to say but since you aren't a model, you're odds are skewed and even if you have a good bio, pics, and a good opener, its simply a roll of the dice if a girl will give you the time of day. You will have better luck by becoming a real smooth talker and just hitting up girls in person.

Go to the park, bar, coffee shop, library, campus, beach, concert. Even if you are average looking, being a smooth talker and approaching grills in person is still the highest payoff for getting your dick wet. It will take time but learning how to be a sociable person not only pays off in the game getting, but all aspects of life. Friends will be more willing to have your back, bosses will give you the raise over the other guy, people will just in general flock to you.

Just remember that practice makes perfect, always spend your time trying to self improve, and most importantly...relax. If you are amped up on how to get matches on tinder then you are doing it wrong. you aren't confident in which case you will never succeed in life. You only have 60 some odd years left on this planet, so just enjoy the ride.

>>691071357
Here's what you do - 1) Change your dp 2) Kill yourself

>>691084897
*sigh* /thread.

>>691075634
Top kek

>>691076935
this. amphetamines makes it fucking hard to get a boner. On the other end, if you do manage to keep it up, you'll last ages

>>691079184
no homo here, but whats with your chest? is it just a bad angle

do you visit fit once in a while?

>>691077836
You fucked it at "WHY DO YOU LOOK SO MAD LOL" or "AYEE IM JUST MESSING LOL!"

You should have been more serious like you're going to punish her, at least then you wouldn't have gone out looking like a bitch.

If a girl says sorry either say "Yeah don't worry about it" or "So you should be" if you want to be a cunt.

Never say "AYEE LMAO I'M JUST MESSING xDDDDDDDD~~" you look like a fucking spastic, at least practice talking like a cunt.

>>691078608
What's worked with me in the past, you can be direct in wanting to get a titpic asap, you don't have long so you want to do it quickly, don't beat around the bush, try to talk then talk about her titties, because that's what you want, seriously pump and dump them, that's how I use to get layed, I work too much and don't give a fuck anymore though, I got this QT asian grill i want to make my GF/wife.

Also try omeegle but watch out for the police on that shit too, ya want to go through a ton of girls, you might have to message 100 before you hit it off or more like 1000 nowadays, but if you stop kidding yourself and only go for the hot girls, you will have a higher chance of fucking hotter girls.

>>691084230
It says you need to put in effort for some pussy.

Work out and get some muscle, this shit fucking WORKS, you will at least fuck anything, hell, I've got laid just by talking about tittys and that I would enjoy them in my mouth .etc