Fuck him in the ass, brutally

>>690743384
Kick him out you beta piece of shit.

AND THIS >>690743555
>>690743555
TRIPS!

Get a new place as soon as you can, obviously do not include him in group purchases anymore if he steals your stuff take legal
Action or just rape him.

>>690743603
>hey landlord my roomate is a piece of shit waaaah

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>>690743555
trips spoken, you rape him in ass

>>690743384
Get a gun and shoot his mom in the face with it. When he asks you why you did it, tell him it is because he took some of your leftover alcohol.

>>690743756
6 more months I guess

>>690743384
That sounds like a regular roommate. Don't you ever eat stuff out of the fridge that doesn't belong to you? Or have done so at your parents house?

>>690743894
Winrar

>>690743555
related story

>at friends house
>sitting on couch with matt
>he tries to cuddle with me
>puts his head on my lap
>I think it's a sarcastic joke so I play along
>put my hand on his chest
>his heart is beating really really fast
>realize that this excites him

>>690744122
Taking alcohol that isn't yours to a party to impress your friends is different than eating food out of the fridge.

We usually split groceries 4 ways.

>>690744539
>taking one thing is different than taking another thing

Thermite works

>buy alcohol
>drink alcohol
>refill bottle with whatever
>wait for him to steal again
You guys are pathetic when it comes to being creative

Piss in a bottle of alcohol, inform everyone but Matt.

>>690744248
That's really cute. Fuck him already, he's clearly into you.

Wait til he sleeps and than burn him easy

>>690745126
I guess the only way to win is to put my cock in his tight man asshole.

>>690743384
Steal some of stuff like food and drinks etc, just keep doing it all the time. If someone took my shit out of the fridge at university I would get super pissed too just like everyone else. Just wind him up back. Small annoyances will build up and drive him crazy, you don't need to do anything extreme.

>>690744933
>refill hard liquor with watered down rubbing alcohol

Put molly in the alchol let him drink it and fuck with him

>>690745256
Post a picture of him. I'm sure you have some of him in his underwear or some such.

>>690744248

Here's another story
>come home one day
>don't think Matts home because he's supposed to be working
>decide to check his room for stuff to steal
>walk in on him masturbating to gay porn
>notice pic on his desk right before doing a 360 and leaving
>find out later pic was me

>>690744222
Fucking winrar.

>>690745600
Oh yeah I forgot to say I'm bi

>>690745600
>(14)
>new IP
Ok """"OP"""".

>>690745746
Obviously I post from two different IPs to thwart the hackers

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>>690743384
have a bottle everyone but him knows is a "landmine" have everyone take turns pissing in the bottle, top off with iced tea so it looks like whiskey or some shit
leave the bottle around, no one ever drinks it but next time he goes to a party he might just grab it
or better yet he may drink it around the house in front of you
the more bottle you can do this too the better
spend a day drinking water, lots of water, at least a gallon through the day
once you start pissin clear, piss into a bottle, try to get as clear as possible, if you can't get a bottle of skyy citrus and piss in that color of the glass will hide it as long as close to clear.
add some lemon juice or lemonade and blam your done

>>690743756
Sometimes he steals weed which is
1. Illegal
2. Fungible

>get tasty food
>put tasty food in Tupperware container
>mix laxatives in with the food
>mix Syrup of ipecac with food
>put food in fridge
>roommate eats tasty food
>roommate vomits and shits uncontrollably

>>690746093
what if he likes the flavour of our urine

1) Get a tub of butter
2) Take butter out
3) Put a shit in tub, careful not to touch edges.
4) Warm butter to go soft and put on shit in tub
5) Tap it to make the soft butter settle back in place
6) Don't eat the shit butter
7) One day, yellow, yellow, brown.

>>690746268
then hes hooked
and you now treat him as a dirty urine hooker
paying to get sips of your urine
3.???
4.profit???

>>690744122
Alcohol is expensove tho

>>690743384
Back in 2002 when I was 19 nd in the army reserves I got invited over to a female friends house for a get together, I had eaten before hand and I brought three new DVDs for us all to watch, about 30 minutes after arriving, some guy I had never met before is asking me for $5 and I ask why, says it's for the movies and pizza he brought, I told him I had eaten and that I also brought movies for people to watch, since he was a poor student, I knew he was trying to capitalise on the situation since he bought about 1 pizza per 3 people and since he was a guild member he got $5 pizzas from dominos.

He got super pissy with me and I just kept drinking my beer and laughed.

I had not been informed of this nor had I agreed to pool money for a group activity.

I was physically stronger than the first year physics student and I had known our common female friend since we were 11, so he was unable to threaten me with physical force or social pressure to cough up $5.

I refused on principle to help pay this cunt so he would make about $7.5 profit on pizzas after accounting for the movies he brought, all of which sucked, fucken Never been kissed and Driving me crazy.

You are a shit cunt Royce.

Heres another story
>me, matt and matts dad are sitting on the couch
>dad in the middle
>were sharing a blanket
>his dad yells "Dutch oven!"
>pulling the blanket over both me and matt
>the smell is inbearable
>feel sick and try to get out
>his dad puts me in a headlock
>pulling me closer to his ass
>"this pie's not ready yet" he says to me as he unleashes hell out of his asshole
>"good one dad"
His dad slept on our couch for three weeks. Some mornings I would find matt sharing the couch with him. Im so sick of his shit guys

>>690745349
You will either put him in hospital or the morgue, wood alcohol is poisonous.

Op here
I did it.....I just kissed matt
Cancel thread folks I got what I really wanted deep down.

>>690747053
good one
his dad left his family when he was 3

>>690747145
That explains why he's such a faggot.

>>690743555
This is the only way yo truly break a man.

Fuck him in the ass, and take photos.

Post on 4chan...for...proof....

>>690743384
Beat the shit out of him, you pussy.

>>690747445
if there were no repercussions I would

Tell him to replace the bottles.

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>>690747145
>were sharing a blanket

well i found your problem
you're a faggot
why are you sharing a blanket with your roommate and his dad at any point in time ever?
do the 3 of you circlejerk it out?
do you guys tells ghost stories with flashlights to eachother?
do you braid eachothers hair?
you sound like gay cousins spending every weekend at your "huggy" uncle's house taking baths together

>>690747650
fml
wrong >>
>>690747053
there we go

>>690745600
> slightly related story be me 2014 friend has party i go because friend since 6th grade - ask him why he is throwing such a big party he says he wants to enjoy a few things before - whatever paid no attention to it later on were both drunk both sleep in his bed big ass cali king so why not - wake up friend gone left note thanking me for comforting him and telling him being gay is ok - wtf - couple days later on friend o is found dead by pills - all makes sense i realized friend said to me he was an heroeing before hand and i had no clue - feels bad man wasen't as good friend as i could have been after all

>>690747591
He will never admit to stealing them. He's slimy, you try to pin something to him and he finds a way to deflect the blame or an excuse that you know is bullshit.

He will find a way to get back at you in the future, probably by stealing from you or maipulating you somehow.

>>690747992
Use Alcohol bottles for your bleach collection
>put label under the bottle

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>>690748199
dubs speak dah true true

>>690743384
can someone explain OP's pic to me?

>>690748313
it's a picture of a photographer who photographed an attack helicopter

>>690743384
>his name is matt
There's your problem OP, all the matt's ive met are scumbags.
If the name is matt,
Get the fuck away from that.

>>690748313
basically matt posts a pic in a group fb of a model he apparently met

he's bragging because he thinks she is going to let him photograph her

>>690748669
Second this
Never trust a Matt

Are you a guy?

Or a girl?

>>690748669
>>690749256
Shit ... I can confirm this

>>690748669
>If the name is matt,
>Get the fuck away from that.
Solid motto right there. Fuck Matt

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>>690749340
You tell me

>>690749609
Looks like yes. Keep posting

>>690749340
Op's a bi dude . But it's pronounced "Faggot"

>>690749608
The very first matt i knew turned out to be a homosexual deviant. Not like homosexuals are bad but like he wanted to have me over to his house so he could tie me up and tickle me. As well as his other friends reported he had molested children.
Second and third matts were retards
Fourth matt is a landwhale.

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>>690749609
so yes?
not only are you a guy
but confirmed for sucking off your roommate and his dad

>>690749847
>The very first matt i knew turned out to be a homosexual deviant. Not like homosexuals are bad but like he wanted to have me over to his house so he could tie me up and tickle me. As well as his other friends reported he had molested children.
Sounds like a bro to me.

>>690749898
Im not OP, im just a random faggot.
Never sucked off anyone. Total virginfag.

>>690749993
Post more pictures you queer

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>>690750073
Who taught you your manners?

>>690744640
>taking a $30 bottle of liquor is the same as taking a $0.10 banana

>>690745696
"Forgot"

>>690743384
grow a pair of balls and make him stop being a douche

>>690746294
Magnificent bastard

>>690744640
Fuck you're retarded

>>690747053
>Im so sick of his shit guys

Haha good one.

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>>690743555