Eat my poop. Dream of being on display

>>690741703
sauce?

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bump for justice.I'll start.
>be me like 16yo fag
>make my neighbour which was like 13yo or so to give me a handjobs with all kinds of gloves
>satin, latex, etc
>feel super horny
>cum all over his hands/my gloves every time
>nobody knows about that
pic related, his hands in communion girls gloves

>>690741860
duuno, i found that on b

Drive in a potty chair at night and shit in it

Rock myself to sleep every night

>>690742962
(hug)

Watch trains go by and sometimes film them. :/

>>690743040
omg, you freaky weirdo!

Get high and feel horny and dream of a cartoon sun...don't interact at parties

>>690741703
I always count my farts during the day and I will have a certain number of allowed farts each day. In the morning I will decide how many farts I will have for the given day and the number has to be dividable by 5.

Most days I go with 25 cause that's 1/4 of a 100 and I really feel good about that.. I will make sure not to fart too often early on in the day and I may have to hold in a fart and merge several farts into one massive one, but that's kind of a good thing for me.

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>>690743040

>>690743360
winrar

>>690743360
I had smthng similar. When started feel shit want to go out, I decided how many farts I will have till I take a shit, especially when I was on my way home from school.

>>690743360
The Fuck?

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>>690743360

>>690741703

i love the smell of my feet, after i've been on them all day i like to take off my socks when my feet are really sweaty and jam my fingers between my toes and then smell them.

I like to pick up hookers,take them home,where I have an impressive collection of Halloween costumes that we choose from and put on,the I have her lie flat on her stomach,i then proceed too gently spread her butcheeks apart,the I get my face real close to her chocolate starfish and yell "LOOSE AS LIGHT,THUNDER FOR THE STORM,COME AND FIGHT,YOU RECTAL WORM"
last time iwas Peter pan

>>690744762
What

>>690744884
It helps me get through the hard times

>>690744762
this is awesome. what are the girls saying?

>>690745278
How the fuck do you get through good times then?

>>690744762
Brian blessed? Is that you?

I name areas I drive by and events in my life after songs

>>690745571
I do that too but associate chapters of my life with who I've been listening to at the time.

I sometimes have to do things in multiples of 4.

Such as clapping and also if I was to stand on a crack in a pavement, I'd have to do it 3 more times until it's 4.

>>690745312
Its either yelling stuff like wtf,and let go of me,I aint getting paid enough for this and that kinda stuff,just basic streetwalker crap

>>690745506
No my name is Leonard Bravado,butyou can call me The Lenny. .

I dunno if this is weird per se because I'm early 20's, but I tend to work like 70 hours a week for like a year. Maybe 6 months sometimes. Then I take a break and work like 20 hours a week at my night job, and play video games with my friends.

I basically work untill my next 4 month vacation.

I'm conditionally lazy and randomly get bursts of ambition and drive. My mom killed herself 3 weeks ago, so now I've got like 200k and no idea what to do.

>>690745772
That sounds like rape.

I like to cry and be held. Would choose suffering to have this

>>690745444
That is a topic for a different kind of threads..

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>>690744265
>Gif

>>690745966
Sorry about your mum bro. Go take a year off and travel and learn some shit.

>>690746042
Not if you put them in the woodchipper

>>690746072
A ylyl thread?

fap in the forest

>>690745966
Oh. I also lay down on the floor of the bathroom and browse/b/ with the shower running. Usually end up masturbating then showering quickly. My roommate makes me pay extra on the water bill because of my "long ass showers"

>>690741703
Get blowjobs from random celebrities I meet via work

>>690746238
That's not how galaxy s7's were supposed to be used bro.

>>690746191
Sure,ylyl.
Whatever the fuck that is

>>690745966
>dont know what to do
Give half of it to me
@[email protected]

>>690746115
It's all good. I'm thinking about learning how to invest. Im not particularly smart, but I can control my emotions well and I love research. Travelling would be fun but my family has ruined me for travelling. I've been around so much ide rather stay here and fuck around in town.

>>690746257

right...

>>690742399
>cum all over his hands
I was going to say I've done something similar until that happened.

>>690746538
You came in his hands?

>>690746354
I feel bad for any government agency viewing my activities through my camera. For like 30 minutes a day they would see my face, laughing, reading, and then grunting with steam whisping everywhere.

>>690746257
Did you mean give and homeless?

>>690746606
Ylyl threads do have some good porn am I right?

>>690746754
Yeah. One pair of tits and I leave for /gif/

>>690746754
Is ylyl those threads where girls dont have dicks?

>>690746538
so, you make your neighbour give you a handjob without orgasm?

>>690746991
no, ylyl thread are those where horses have the biggest dicks

>>690747107
Hmm that sounds silly,but you say these horses have great big johnnies,ive never yelled up a horses anus before,I wonder if it will echo.

1 or 2 days before every weekend, I stop masturbating so that I get horny enough in the club, to ignore my autism

>>690747486
And I dont own any costumes that fit a horse,but im sure uncle Rusty has something of use..

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I make random dolphin clicking noises when in alone. like that one episode of SpongeBob when he curses.

>>690746354
Nigger shut up he can use the tech he paid for how he wants

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I scratch my balls and sniff them

>>690747665
there is a study that says that the top of your libido is after five days off masturbating

i have a sex doll and i will tape my student's face that i want to smash on the doll

>>690748563
Dad?

>>690744762
>>690743360
I am fucking crying....

>>690741860
It's an album cover

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>>690741860

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>>690747668
UNCLE RUSTY AINT GOT ANYTHING FOR HORSES BOY. TRY YIMMERING YIN WANG DOWN THE STREET. THAT MAN GOT COSTUMES FOR ANYTHING YOU'LL MEET...

>>690750932
You sir,are invited to my very next special costume party,as a token of my gratitude for your kind advice

>>690751432
You are not invited to my special costume party

>>690751598
Well I have a stable to visit
Bye guys

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>>690751378
WELL SHIT SON, AM I GONNA HAVE TO SHAVE MY SHITHOLE? I FEEL PRETTY IN PINK...

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>>690751802
MAKE SURE YOU MAKE THE BUTHOLE WET BEFORE YOUR SCREAM, OTHERWISE IT DOESN'T CLAP RIGHT

>>690743360
Isnt 25 alot?

>>690743360
Found the autist

>>690745768
Sounds like some kind of autism

>>690746362
b8

>>690751820
Im back,nah your furry chocolate starfish
are well received

>>690743360

clear winner

>>690752035
I know how to make em clap,uncle Rusty showed me how,that takes me back too that golden summer of my youth,I was so green back then

>>690750038

this

>>690746238
Same as me. I sometimes have 4-7 showers a day that go for atleast 10-15 minutes. I swear it's an addiction.

i play yugioh competitively for the sole purpose of recreation

>>690753172
So go do that and leave

>>690748195
How do you sniff your own balls?

What are you?

>>690753247
but i browse b for the sole purpose of recreation

The way I crack my fingers. I bend them sideways at the knuckle. I have hyper flexible fingers. I don't crack them anymore because I'm sure it's fucking terrible for the joints but I'll post webm if wanted

>>690753304
Ok,you can stay,for now. .

>>690753341
its actually totally healthy, studies prove it cant do harm to joints.

>>690753412
luv u bby

>>690753483
Then I will hurry up with my webm then

I flash women my ass by "accident". A lot of times I'll pretend to drop something so I can squat or bend showing my entire tan shaved ass that is of Perfeft roundness. 1/10 will comment on it and 3/10 will just look with lust. My favorite is when they tell me to get something else that I dropped so they can get a second look.

Also, I go to my local running trails with a cock ring on and run around flopping at full flop. I love the way the older married women look at my cock flopping.

>>690753590
touch wrist with thumb pls

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pretend i'm not in the house so i can jack off while i listen to my older sis get fucked my her bf

pic related

I get bumps on my scrotum sometimes filled with a pus like material or sometimes just a sac like a cyst, I take a small syringe needle and pop them and squeeze them out, very satisfying. It got a lot harder to do over time though :(

>>690753514
Ok you can also come to my special costume party,but dont come dressed as Aladin,thats what im going to wear

>>690753856 wud bone her till i calcium all over her backbone

>>690742962
I kinda do that i dangle my feet over the end of the bed and shake till i fall sleep

>>690753811
Fuck now I gotta do it again once sec

>>690753856
Normie

>>690742399
>his
Sounded like a vanilla fetish till this very word
Disgusting faggot

Anyone else sit down and not like their balls smashed between their legs so they lift them up close their legs and then let your balls lay on top? Also sleep in odd positions. Sleep on my stomach arms at my sides without pillows head to one side legs together.

But the most comfortable way to sleep is like that but, reacheck down and pull your balls up as far as possible and then lay on them pushing thme on the matress. With your balls up towards your belly button. It's really nice not to have your balls stuck between your thighs and sweaty. It's quite relaxing. Also since I'm not fat laying on them doesn't hurt at all and gives your Gooch breathing room.....

Anyone else ever spread your cheeks towards a fan to air out your sweaty ass? Or is that just me? It's a nice cool rush when the sweat dries off. It feels cool and clean.

>>690743360
>Farting odd numbers
Dude it's must have an even number
Fucking casual

>>690741703
I sing songs with sounds that emulate the rhythm of the words but aren't real words when I'm alone.

>>690754393
yeah do that all the time

>cum on my own face
>leave it on overnight

>>690741703
Masturbate with a tennis ball container full of steel ball bearings and liquid dishing washing detergent lined with a vinyl glove insert.

Pretend im cool online, but in reality I'm average socially

>>690754518
Which part?

>>690754656
i would rub ur bone

>>690754757
1st

>>690754471
Kinky

>>690754771
actually makes skin feel tighter too. try it

>>690754705
Like everybody

>>690754471
Forgot to mention I tend to do this more with music in a foreign language.

>>690754964
o shit nice
your hand tiny tho

>>690743360

Do you have OCD?

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>>690753811
Here's this for now idk why webm conversion is taking so long. I'll see if making it a gif is quicker.

>>690755163
I deleted because I'm shit at cropping.
>>690755224

>>690745966

Go to /biz/ ask for advice

When I drink water and am really thirsty I deliberately let a little bit leak out the side of the glass and drip down my face

Feels weirdly primal

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>>690754025

Got psoriasis, eat my dandruff like chips. Better than making a mess of huge dried skin flakes tbh.

>>690755490
WUD BONE

>>690748563
youre my hero. what level do you teach?

>>690755490
i would love to see more of her. body legs ass and feet look great.

>>690745966
Man, if you've got 200K, start a business. Find something you're really good at, and turn it into a product. You have starting capital, all you need is an idea. If it fails, you've learned how to job hunt from your lifestyle. If you've been in an out of jobs, hitting them hard, you'll have great references, and good work ethic. Go for gold mate.

>>690741703
posting some interesting on 4chan

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>>690756560

Daydream every moment of the day of the day I get to act out my sick fantasies of getting my true corpse husbando:')

I really like pooping next to a warm washing machine

>>690753856
we asked for weird, not normal

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>>690745966
>don't know what to do with 200k

Well, put a down payment on a house bro. Just a decent one, work, take care of it, pay it off, then down the road sell it and profit or rent it out and become a slum lord.

>>690754448
You made me KEK really loud at work.

Something I do is if I see something that has an interesting texture, I will have an extremely strong urge to touch it. No matter the situation I will go for it. One time I pulled over on a highway to touch this charred tree. If I don't touch the thing I want to touch, I'll get really fucking mad and aggressive.

I sleep with a heavy blanket on, no matter the weather. In summer, I'll turn on the aircon full bore. I don't feel safe without it.

I wear my foreskin always retracted. The feel is just god-tier. i started doing this about a month ago and I lost some sensitivity but I at least last longer. Gf likes that too.

>>690757487
wow. ass and feet in this pic. holy fuck. you like that im jerking off to your sister? keep going.

>>690753341
Same, also it doesn't affect joints, that has been disproven

>>690758429
How do you do this? You use tape or something?

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>>690741703
After I take a shit I always wash my asshole with a warm wash cloth. Toilet paper just doesn't cut it. I like a clean asshole. I'm not even a faggot, I just have ocd. This all started after I read in one of these threads that an anon took a shower after every shit. I thought, "fuck that's brilliant, but i hate dry skin so I'll just wash my ass like a champ". I also refuse to use public toilets (for taking shits) unless it's in a doctor's office for some reason (mainly because I have to if I have to leave a "sample"). The thought of sitting on the same toilet seat that a bunch of fat, gay and stinky faggots repulses me to the point of no return. Am I weirdo /b/?

>>690758688
Sometimes there are different methods. You can some elastic plastic if your skin is very loose then you can tug it backwards etc.

Google keeping foreskin behind all the time and you find a lot if things about it. Especially Germans do this for some reason. Dorm mate who is from Germany told me about it they actually do that. Also Japanese wear their skins back too it a tradition there.

Also your body will learn that the skin remains behind and it will be remain there until you pull it forward.

>>690758860
No you're just a muslim

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>>690758429
>tfw ur wishing ur a cutfag

>>690758860
Things that never happened
Season 666 episode 3

>>690759039
Yea I've always thought about it because I want to lose just a little more sensitivity on my head.

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>>690758444
Fucking hell m8, czech'd.

>tfw no newfags Czech triple repeating integers

>>690759102
I don't want be actually. My top fetish is about women want to make me circumcise. Gf loves to play with the skin too chewing on it pulling it force it back etc and fucking love it.

>>690759137
It's true I really do, want a pic of my wash cloth?

>>690759336
Is it dirty?

>>690758806
Sometimes I'll go to the thrift shop and find the strangest glass or bowl and buy it and clean it and drink out of it. Ever since I was young I've basically had a casual lifelong goal of drinking out.of the weirdest thing possible. What are your favorite things to drink out of?

>>690759432
DIRTY WHITE BOI
I AM A DIRTY WHITE BOI

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>>690759315
That's gross and she's gross and you're gross and you should all kill yourselves.

>>690757729
In tn you can buy a house with 200K

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>>690759432
Nah cuz I rinse it off after every use, like I whipe my ass with toilet paper first, so it gets minimal shit on it, then I rinse it off. Sometimes when people I like come over I let them use it as a face wash cloth.

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>>690759550
I'm mexican. And I agree.

>>690743360
25 farts lel

I easily can fart that much in 1hour

>>690741703
I was dieting, but I cheated and ate some chocolate...

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>>690759603
You could buy one here too, but why use your own money when you could use the banks? Just don't be an idiot, and pay your mortgage. I bought my house when I was 21, I'm 30 now almost 31 and I have it half paid off. I got the house for 215k and I put 65k down on it. My mortgage is like 750/mnth plus property taxes and all that awesome stuff. Sometimes I over pay it, that's why I'm so ahead.
>JUST DO IT

>>690742399
Are you fucking gay

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>>690759603
>>690760155
Oh AND I have no room mates, that's by choice because I can afford everything. I've had room mates and grils live with me before but it always turns to shit. People are lazy, unrespectful fucking cunts who always take and never give.

I did all this without my mom dying and leaving me with 200k so this should be easy for you, son.

>>690759765
Youre fucked

>>690759543
>what are your favorite things to drink out of?

lol dude... It's not too weird though.

>>690760636
Thanks buddy ;D

Means a LOT coming from a fellow /b/astard

>>690759580
cutfag found
enjoy having that in common with muslims, faggot
also, enjoy missing some major pleasurable parts of your dick. Idiot

>>690761017
>what are your favorite things to drink out of?

For me it's drinking Bailey's outta a shoe!
>who wants to see my mangina?

When I shower I must pee while showering or it doesn't feel right.
Also when I'm soaping up I use the soap on my butthole, only recently did a friend tell me that's now how you do it, been doing it all my life so won't stop now

>>690761136
>cutfag found
>enjoy having that in common with muslims, faggot
>also, enjoy missing some major pleasurable parts of your dick. Idiot

Blah, blah, blah, blah. Enjoy having a penis that looks like an ant eater with moles all over it. Enjoy all the snickering women behind your back. Well in your case, you're probably a faggot, and fuck dudes so you're alright, actually.

>>690741703
I jerked off on the bus home when I went to highschool, I was the last on the bus and went past 2 schools for girls on the way.
I came on my schoolbook paper and tore it out and stuck it to the bottom of the seats and it held like glue. I miss those days

>>690758860
yes.
>>690759765
that's fucked up. Kill yourself please

>>690761105
>;D

nah seriously, fucking kill yourself, giving your disgusting ass-cloth for people to wash themselves with it... psychopath

I eat my boogers

>>690750932
>>690751378
>>690751598
>>690751820
>>690752745
SUMMERFAGS REEEEEEEE
GET OFF MY FUCKING BOARD

>>690761609
Everyone does that shit. Not even weird.

>>690761319
Wtf is your friend talking about?
How else would you clean your asshole?

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>>690743360
>but that's kind of a good thing for me.

>kind of a good thing

> a good thing for me

>>690759860
That picture is innacurate. She also knows K, F and C.

>>690761726
Apparently you soap up your hands, then then clean your asshole with hand, not the soap bar

When i was 12 or 13 our neighbor with their 2 or 3 year old son visited us at Home. The mother of the child was chatting with my mother in the living room and i was in my room. Suddenly the kid came into my room. I was laying in my bed and out of nowhere i took my cock out of my pants and said: look whats here. The kid Said something i didnt Understand. Then i took my cock in my pants again and the kid left my room. And thats how it Ended. I ask myself today what the fuck was wrong with me that Time

>>690761676
Ok well now that I got that off my chest
*foreshadowing*
I use to let my cat suck my nipples while I jerked off and I let him eat the cum.
Happy?

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>>690750932
>>690751378
>>690751820
>>690752035
Summerfags are already here, damn it.

>>690762031
You literally can't shock anyone on /b/

When i had my first psychosis i went outside naked with a knife and asked people the i saw "was it you?"
and pointed them with the knife. I did it for about 15 minutes and got into mall area where police caught me.
I was sent to a mental hospital for 3 months.

i get high and pump my cock until its a thick as fuk

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>>690761431
oh you mean... like a normal penis, like how it is supposed to look like?

In europe only muslims cut their foreskin off or guys with a dick-problem. My current gf told me her ex had to be circumsised and she's glad she's got a normal dick again. She says the head of an uncircumsized dick is smoother. So yeah Im not even trying to insult you anymore, I mean if it really was "better" I would just do it, man. You on the other hand, can never have your foreskin back. I geniunely feel kinda sorry for you.

Every time I jerk off and slide my foreskin up and down my dickhead I wonder how the fuck do you guys do it? Do you always need lube, wtf?
inb4 faggot because I think of circumsized dicks lol

anyway, peace brah.

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>>690762165
I jerked off to this
Still nothing?

sometimes when i get high i put eggs up my bum, a friend once told me when i was younger that it aids weight lose(i was a fattish kid) even though i know it doesnt help me i cant stop doing it still. but i only do it when im high now.

>>690753856
Hi Eliott

>>690762503
Nope.

I eat my snot

>>690762732
Im a Democrat....

hello from costa rica

>>690763029
Ok now u went too far
Sicko

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>>690761609
I do this constantly.
Love the big stringy ones where you can feel it as you pull it out.
The hard dry ones are good too. Love it when I abstain from picking all day, do it when I get home from work and feel a big dry one. Heaven.

>>690763029
35% of registered voters have that particular defect. Not shocking.

>>690763145
Voting for figueres too?

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Just another casual week day

When I masturbate I rub my dick between my thighs

>>690763280
>heaven
Idk why I love the taste so much, its really fucking weird to me. My mom used to hit me when she saw me do it, only made me better at hiding it though lmao