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I guess this thread isn't going as well as your other ones? All the masochists must be out tonight or something.

I lost at life and can't find a job.

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>>690720331
>can't find a job
How long you been looking for a job?

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>>690719297
Are you sailor jupiter?

I'm a faggot.

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>>690720685

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I get called Scarface at my college because I have scars all over my face that also includes a forced smile like the joker. When I was young a man broke in my house and sat in my room doing shit to my face, he drugged me. I sometimes wanna kill myself because of it.

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>>690721047
I wish I had a fallout action figure :(

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>>690719297
My life is a train wreck, I'm:

>uneducated
>unemployed
>uninsured

That's just the beginning.

>>690721047
Embrace it.

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>>690721047
>I get called Scarface at my college because I have scars all over my face that also includes a forced smile like the joker. When I was young a man broke in my house and sat in my room doing shit to my face, he drugged me. I sometimes wanna kill myself because of it.
Well then. You certainly won't win any beauty contests looking like that, now will you? At least you can make a good Joker for Halloween. After all, why so serious?

I hope you tipped the man after he drugged you. Drugs aren't cheap, you know.

>>690721328
Fuck off lying jew

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>>690721328
You're just un-everything.

No education? As in, no college? Why no job, though? You look that ignorant to bosses with judge of character?

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My problem is that I hate being a fucking normie.

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>>690721449
>tfw when you aren't lying.

>uneducated (HS dropout no GED)
>unemployed (Lazy piece of shit)
>uninsured (debt collector's or harassing me)
>Living with grandmother (75 y/o)
>Never met my biological father (ran away)
>Mother is severe alcoholic
>Mother has severe mental heath problem's
>brother's optic nerve is deteriorating (blind)
>All my true friend's split off (I'm alone)
>No girlfriend (I'm on 4chan, need I say more?)
>Health problems (aortic stenosis)
>Possibly need heart valve transplant in future
>Possibly need heart transplant in future

So..so, much more...

I have a small weenie

I'm not Ed Miliband.

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I'm on a shitty board that was once known for being the worst shit on the fucking internet.
It slowly became more edgy, and less intense. and now I roam the tame wastes of the random board, hoping to one day find something that truly disgusts me.

I want to kill myself

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>>690722288
Trips of truth

I have an unhealthy internet obsession and I hide behind multiple layers of ironic humor to masquerade the fact that I have crippling depression.

>>690721328
It because your jewish

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>>690722140
Doesn't sound like you'll be getting a girlfriend anytime soon, anon. You're not a catch. At all. I certainly would not date a guy with no job who lives with his grandmother.

They say a healthy heart equals a healthy dick. So you're boy parts probably don't work very well, either.

Sucks to be you.

>>690722378
Yeah sure thing Ed.

>>690722522
That's not how trips work you motherfucking summerfag.

I'm literally fucking dead inside and I hope it to spread outside too.

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I spend all of my money on keyboards

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>>690722486
I'd never consider committing suicide, despite my life being so fucked up I understand that there's always other alternatives.

Surprisingly enough I haven't used drugs or alcohol as a cooping method. I've locked myself away from society, sitting in my room all day like the beta faggot I am.

>>690722652
I'm actually an agnostic atheist, always have been - my entire family is catholic though.

>>690722798
I need some aloe vera, consider myself burned.

Thanks for acknowledging my sad existence for that I call life.

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>>690721047
post a pic of your face you disfigured faggot

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>>690723339
Agnostic with Catholic parents? So when you die, you're either gonna burn in Hell, or cease to exist. Your future is looking bright, anon.

Better use that aloe vera to soothe your tiny little dick. Cause no girl is gonna be doing so anytime soon.

>>690719297
I love you.

No, that's my problem.

Please make fun of it.

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>>690724168
>I love you.
You don't even know me. That desperate, huh?

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>>690723818
When I die I'll slowly decompose, rotting away. Eventually my organic matter will break down and form fossil fuels thriving generations to come. If not, at least I'll be compost for vegetation...

As of now, getting laid or even a relationship isn't on the top of my priority list: personal health/hygiene, family, education, and financials.

I've been without a social life for almost a decade, it can wait.

If it wasn't for you ridiculing me your pathetic thread would've 404'd by now.

I'm 24 and I've been a NEET for five years so far with no hope in sight.

>>690724979
>your pathetic thread would've 404'd by now
(Then why did you post here? That was the point.)

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i fucking hate my useless self

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I can't catch a fucking break when it comes to relationships

>Got dumped by long-distance ex in mid-November
>She got a new boyfriend two weeks after
>Never got to meet her in person before the break-up
>Can't entirely get over it due to lack of sexual and romantic satisfaction since break-up
>Rarely meet girls I have genuine feelings for
>Can't even fucking get laid
>Finally have a crush on this one gorgeous girl with a lot of the same interests
>Just found out from an offhand comment on an Instagram post that she started dating a girl that's a mutual friend of us both
>Had absolutely no clue about it until now
>No fucking idea crush wasn't straight
>All hope of me having a relationship anytime soon is gone

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>>690725228
I understand that's the point of the thread, essentially a roast. I was board and had nothing better to do.

Thought others may find laughter in another's suffering.

>>690719297
I am a kissless virgin and neet

>>690725602
>girlfriend
>never met

Surely I'm being tricked

>>690719297
im fat, jobless, and i hate going into public because i think people judge me. i'm not amerifat whale level of fat, but still fat. i have a crushing self doubt that i'm not good enough for the people around me and i'm miles above them if i just took the effort to do actually do what i know i should but i don't due to being lazy(?) i'm not really motivated by anything besides what's new and i can't perform well unless i'm motivated to do so. sometimes i don't even get out of bed.

>>690725839
I've only been in a few relationships, and unfortunately they've all been long-distance. It's like every girl who feels something for me or wants to fuck me lives in another state. I feel fucking pathetic about it. I know it's because I don't put myself out there enough locally, but I'm too lazy to go out to parties or most social gatherings.

Also I know for a fact that I wasn't getting catfished or some shit because we had webcam calls on Skype and we were on snapchat together all the time

I'm not an assertive person at all. In fact, I'm very passive. People walk all over me and I don't want that anymore. In fact, I have an ex that cheated on me and she manipulated me ao much and I forgave her every time. Recently I told her boyfriend that she sent some really provocative photos and now I'M the one that's sorry for some godforsaken reason.

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>>690726047
There is no need for doubt ur a loser and u will always remain one lmfaooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

I told this girl im seeing friday i have an 8 inch wazoo but only have 6 inch pecker halp

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CVE6JKNJlbs

>>690726317
Like she'll actually measure it

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>>690726279
if u say so baka.

I know no one to do anything fun with and each day just passes by meaninglessly.

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>>690725602
>"Long distance"

Long distance relationships never work, they lack intimacy, she'll grow tired and eventually find it in someone else - curbing her desires.

I'm assuming it isn't your fault, you most likely tried everything within your power to stay in touch.

Communication and trust is the foundation to a healthy and progressive relationship.

>Can't get laid

I may sound delusional when saying this, I don't understand why people find that as the crowning achievement in life or corner stone of a relationship.

It's about forming long lasting memories and bonds, forming a family and settling down.

>Inb4: Normie

Everybody is different though, whatever floats your boat.

>>690727176
I completely agree with what you're saying about getting laid and forming long lasting bonds being what's most important.

However, like I said, I've been sexually deprived ever since the break-up. Sex is, at least how I see it, easier to find than love. Since I never had actual, physical sex with my ex and I've been without any kind of sexual interaction with anyone for so long, I've sought out sex as a way to numb the pain. Fill the void. And I haven't had any luck.

Not that it would help at all. It might help. It might just make me feel worse. I don't even know.