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>>690686327

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>>690686503

>>690686820

Just insane.

https://youtu.be/7KVFKnjVuCg

Music anon from last thread. I'll be going now though. Love every single fucking one of you, to the moon and back. It's 5:19am, goodnight. Hope you all enjoy the rest of your lives, make the most of them, hope that last thread changed your perspective on things, it sure did for me - and if not, I'll be seeing you all next week.

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bump

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always gets me

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=xJrEvz6nbv8
Posted this in the other thread but I don't know if anyone listened to it. So here it is again.

everything's just becoming so dull. friends are getting further, family not caring, activities becoming bland. and i'm not the only one who noticed this. they few friends that still talk to me noticed the same thing.

>>690686327
Guys I have a question. Does depression ever end? Ive had mine for a while and meds are helping keep me alive but itsbsummer and last summer I wen to the hospital and im just scared for my life. I mean I have a good family with good money im social when I feel like it but I just dont know. I just dont know anymore

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I know I've had a ton of anons say they didn't get this but it just hits me right in the feels for so many reasons
1/3

>>690687246
Well eventually you die. I imagine it ends then.

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>>690687342
2/3

>>690687246

No. It your companion for life. It will always be there, sitting in a chair smiling at you, from the corner of your mind.

Waiting.

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>>690687392
3/3

>>690687246

Yeah. It does. Hobbies are important. Friends are important too.

I have a girlfriend now who has some serious post-partum depression, and we're working through it together.

>>690687246
One anon answered me something like this right before the last thread ended.
I'd been talking about how now I'm content with life but the thoughts still come, almost daily. Out of nowhere.
They said it never stops.
I don't think it does either. Even if you get better, you're never fully there.

>>690687494

It will never leave her either.

Now you get to share her.

>>690687651

I think that was me.

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>>690687658

I beat it.

Don't die on me. I'm just silently watching.

>>690687348
>>690687430
>>690687494
>>690687651
Thanks for answering guys at least I got that out of the way. I love all of you and wish you guys a good day tomorrow. Good night, sleep well, and sweet dreams

>>690687874

Stop lying to yourself. You just ignore the lurid glances it keeps giving you from its dark little corner.

That doesn't mean it's not there.

>>690687246
Yes, it does. It doesn't end forever. But you can never ever ever stop fighting. If your meds aren't working talk to a doctor about changing to something different. If you're a shut-in and have abandoned or dissolved your relationships you NEED therapy. Simply talking about your problems will make you feel better, even if you don't come up with a solution. Exercise is the number one hack to make you feel better. It is the hardest thing in the world for a depressed person to exercise, but get a bike because it's amazingly fun to ride one, and make your heart rate peak, sweat like hell, even if it's only for 10 minutes, and your body will be like "wow thank you!" It may only last for an hour afterward, but it is an absolute and immediate relief, I can guarantee it. Diet is also important. Eat a balanced diet. If you eat well your low days will be "sad" but they won't be soul-crushing. MOVE AROUND. Don't be in the same place for too long. Changing your perspective can sometimes immediately lift your mood. You need something to look forward to, and you need to know that your situation will change. Sunlight heals you. Don't stare at your computer all day. Whenever you wake up just sit outside in the sun when you can, 10 to 15 minutes, get that natural vitamin D and alert your body to natural light. It will respond with good feels.

Depression is an absolute mental war and you have to do these things to fight it, don't just try. Go full scale blitzkrieg on that shit, change your whole lifestyle, and you will see an improvement.

>>690688318
>Stop lying to yourself.
Fuck this got me. Fucking hell man.

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Gonna keep this thread alive.

>>690689070
Please do.

>>690689070
love that movie

I can't talk to you anymore because all I want to do is tell you I love you.

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>>690686327
The triphone doesn't take that long. Especially no bueno

>>690687651
Everyone has thoughts in their head. There are two types.

inner dialogue, and direct thoughts.

Dialogue could be anything from "shit this sucks I wanna go home" to "damn she's hot." Direct thoughts are "You fucked up," "You're a failure" etc etc. Direct thoughts are common in many people. We all judge ourselves mentally. But if you are constantly being verbally attacked by your brain, because that's exactly what happened, you need to recognize what is happening. The very first line of defense is simply acknowledging these voices and separate from you. Do not fight these voices. Simply observe them. Figure out where, emotionally, they are coming from. Give all your negative thoughts a name, do de-personalize yourself from negativity, because those thoughts aren't YOU! "Why do you even try anymore" - "I try because I know that one day I will get better, despite what you have to say"

If your thoughts are angry, violent, or so obtrusive that you cannot function, you need to see a physician -- you might be dealing with an onset of schizophrenia, which is a totally manageable disorder. Good luck.

>>690689070
dam, you found the right spot to hit, anon

Ugh Bros.

I feel depressed lately.
I'm seeing my girlfriend tomorrow for dinner. I'm actually getting anxious because we've been on strange terms lately. Like things have got rough and we've been on a break technically the past few weeks

I pushed her to this though. It's because I'm a fucking ambitionless failure. I haven't done shit with my life and recently just applied to college and got my drivers liscense when I should've had this done ages ago and had my life together sooner and I think that's what is pushing her away cause I was just so damn childish.
Anyways, we have seen eachother off and on a few days like fot dinner and stuff but things seemed more tense lately and she wants to have dinner tomorrow to "talk" and figure out what's happening with us.

I'm really anxious and scared she's finally made the decision to break up with me and found someone better or just wants to live without me dragging her down.

>>690689729
How old are you two?

Guys the girl I've been into has been ignoring me lately.. I texted her on messenger 10 hours ago but she hasn't replied and it says she's active now I feel like I fucked up

>>690689541
Oh yes, I mean I've been dealing with it for quite a while now.
It's just little thoughts that will come out of nowhere. A random "I want to die" thought.
I'll be laying down for sleep and as soon as i close my eyes I'm crowded with thoughts of putting a gun to my head, that thought repeating multiple times.
And as i said in the other thread, today I was driving home from work on the lake and just had the thought of just jumping off the bridge and into the lake and how peaceful it would be to just sink (even though i know in reality that is not so)
As for the "i'm worthless" thoughts, I'm constantly battling that with knowing that I'm not in fact worthless.
It just sucks that the thoughts never go away.

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My dad died when I was little never really knew who he was. I now have kids of my own and I'm scared shitless of failing them.

>>690687437
Yeah I don't get it

>>690690084
It's happened to me, man. In fact a couple of days ago, this chick I've been heavily talking to for I don't know how long just stopped texting. I was busy, but she never sent a text. Never. Even my fucking ex sends texts when she has a question (we're on decent terms, and by question, I mean like "how do I check my oil in my car"; and stuff. Also she did not have a car while we were dating, in case you were wondering.)

>>690686327
No one's been to the moon and back since 1972.

>>690690446
Did she ever text you back.. I can't let this girl go

>>690690084
>>690690446
I'm going through something similar with my best friend (I'm a guy, she's a grill) we were supposed to go out and smoke some weed 2 saturdays ago, and I texted her that day to check if we were gonna do it, and she hasn't replied ever since

>>690690648
Yo mamma been to dis dick and back 1972 times

>>690690736
don't be needy or pushy, anon, with girls it's a thing of balancing between going after her, but letting her seek you back too

>>690690736
Nope, I texted her once more and she did text back. But I've accepted that nothing is gonna happen between us. Which, I'm fine with, but it's still irritating, you know? Like you do put however much time and effort into the person and can't even be bothered for a similar amount.

>>690690925
I just don't want her to fade away I haven't ever been in a relationship and if this happens again I wouldn't be able to handle it.. I feel like it's my fault

>>690690192
Well the first step is separating yourself from those thoughts. Those are simply thoughts made by your brain, and even though it feels like it, you are not your brain. Try this exercise:

Don't think about ANYTHING for 10 seconds. No pictures, no words, no colors, absolutely nothing. 10 seconds. Do it now before you read the next paragraph.

Did it work? FUCK NO IT DIDN'T. Because thinking, as humans, evolved as a tool. We were present with only intake of mental stimuli. We observed and reacted. Critical thinking evolved as we became smarter, and this inner dialogue was used as a tool. Unfortunately, everyone uses this tool all the time. These voices are not you, they are tools your brain uses to adapt to the environment around you. Observe them when they happen, do not immediately accept them, because that is your brain using a tool to associate you with something that is completely unrealistic. Observe the thought, recognize the thought, acknowledge the thought, and simply respond mentally with "That's not me speaking." Make this a habit, and you will diminish these thoughts gradually by separating yourself from them and you will, in an inception-like way, make your brain realize those thoughts are your brain.

If these thoughts are deep and pressing, you may have an underlying depression that you have repressed. It could be that these thoughts of imminent death are your repressed depression bubbling over, no longer able to be ignored. If you are truly clinically depressed there is always an option to see a doctor, but I have found that a therapist is an incredible way to dig out a deep-seeded depression that you never knew you had.

>>690690925
>going after her, but letting her seek you back too
Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck

Not that anon but you got me

This girl and I have been chasing each other for years. She got married when I was single, I met someone when she got divorced, she met someone when I split with the other

We've talked about being together and thinking about that takes away all the things that clog my head up.

She just got divorced

Things are complicated with my current

Fuck

>>690691270
thank you.
I've been to a therapist before, though I didn't feel that it helped as much as I thought it would. I also didn't really get into my worst problems, but the therapist always asked about things that really didnt matter. i did take some things away from her though. And like I said, I am fairly better now than I was before. It's just back of the mind thoughts that occur. More of a nuisance than a problem I suppose.
I will practice more with separating my thoughts. Thank you again, anon.

>>690686776
This picture scares me in a very very deep and unnerving way. It's one thing to expose the fallacies we face in every day life, but to expose a deep rooted flaw per se embedded in the human genome that is purely a survival mechanism which influences every action and thought we have is extremely unsettling.

>>690686327
This hits me right in the feels.

>>690691198
I've never been in a relationship neither, anon, but I've failed so many times that now, just now, I'm starting to (maybe) get how some girls work, but there's something I can tell you for sure, if one girl goes away, it's just a matter of time until you find another one, just don't overthink too much ! it's not (all?) your fault!

>>690691717
lol dude that sounds like a fucking movie... if you both know whats going on, just get together ffs!

>>690690259
Being a parent is the hardest thing you will ever have to do, and not having a father figure will be a blessing and a curse. What do you wish you could have learned from him? Teach that to your kids. Every child is different and do your best to instill good values in them. Make them aware of good and bad, and how you should always be good. The tough lesson is that the good guys don't always win, but that comes later. Teach them honesty, respect for others, the value of hard work, and when life gets hard give them lessons on how hard life truly is. You will be winging it from now until they are 30, I guarantee it, you will never truly figure out a magic formula for your child, and depending on their personality and their environment, they may turn out completely different from what you intended them to. Never blame yourself if your child turns out different from the way you had hoped. If you do the best you can, feed them, clothe them, teach them right and wrong, good and bad, and prepare them for how difficult life can be physically and emotionally, you have done your job. Do not place such a burden on yourself to never fail them; no parent is perfect but do the best you can and life will take care of the rest.

>>690689360

Your love never meant anything and neither do you. Embrace the void.

>>690692301
you're welcome, I wish you luck. Not every therapist is a good fit for you. Some are amazingly awesome people that you will feel like you can tell anything to. Some are simply working a job. Keep trying to see a different one if you feel like you're really struggling, but for now separation of direct thought is a good exercise. Good luck, I believe in you anon.

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>>690691818

>>690692580

I love how you give him false hope.

He's gonna be fuckin' unrecognizable as a human being after hitting bottom from a fall that high, you know. PULP.

hey guys... so, this is my story:
the girl I've loved for about 3 years now (even tho this last year I didn't feel like I still 100% loved her) has got her first boyfriend... and I don't know why I'm taking it so bad...

we've been good friends for 4 years, and, as I previously said, I've had feelings for her for about 3 years by now

obviously she sees me only as a friend, and I thought I actually stopped loving her when I got strong feelings for other girl (that's another (sad) story ), but I feel so frustrated...

when we got into different universities, I knew that one day was gonna come when she'd get a bf, and I thought I would be ok with that, given that, apparently, I had "forgotten" her, but it didn't turn out that way, and now the only solution I can think about, to spare me from suffering, is just cutting all contact with her, but I don't know if

A) I should do it, and get her out of my life
and/or
B) I should let her know what I think/feel

what to do, /b/ros?

>>690693764

Cut all contact. There is only pain left for you there.

>>690693170
;_;

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>>690693170

>>690693450
I'm not giving him hope. I'm giving him a solution. It may or may not work, but I genuinely care about this persons well-being, and I speak from experience. I have seen your posts deliberately trying to tear people down. I won't have any of it.

>>690693952
I know, but it's gonna be hard and awkward with all our friends in common, like, what if I run into her at a party or what if my friends see me as an asshole for doing it

>>690689541
It's not just manageable, it's defeatable in a way. It's not something to be feared, but embraced. A tool to be used in a sense. It has been a couple of years since I recovered from schizophrenia. The key is not in medication, but understanding that it will always be a part of yourself, two or more mental alters that you have to merge. Set notes from one mental state to the other and start slowly linking them into the same state of mind. You will never get rid of the seasonal changes, so just use them. I can try to clarify but I'm not sure it would make sense to someone who doesn't have the disorder. It's an entirely different ball game.

>>690694382

I've generally found that people with hero-complexes are secretly some of the most narcissistic assholes on the planet. I don't have to tear anyone down. The universe and all-devouring time do it naturally. I watch and laugh.

>>690694847
*tips*

>>690694621
I feel you on that. I read an article that mentioned that schizophrenic patients who -- instead of trying to shut out their voices forcibly -- embraced them as a separate part of them, and there was a merging of sorts that helped them recover greatly.

>>690694926

OK, now you're just outright lying. That's some Three Faces of Eve bullshit right there.

>>690694904

*jerking off motions*

>>690694847
stop projecting, I have no hero complex. I respect you for being a nihilist, but you're projecting an image of me that simply isn't realistic. I have been to the darkest depths of my mental state and I have risen from those depths many times. Nothing I say will cure anyone from any ailment, but simply talking and connecting with someone in pain is enough to at least help you sleep that night.

Again, your nonsense doesn't apply to me or anyone in this thread.

>>690694847
>taunts narcissists
>Begins each sentence with I
>FEDORA INTESIFIES

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I had been dating a girl for almost 4 years and I like to say I was madly in love with her. One day her best friend sent me some texts she was sent her saying she had cheated on me. fucking killed me dude. I wanted to marry her. haven't had a serious relationship since.

>inb4 fag

>>690695085
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/8232555.stm

>>690693764
I've experienced the that you have before for me to forget about her it was hard but I had to cut all contact with her. A year later I'm perfectly fine and doing think anything about her anymore. After the deed is done you'll be much happier.

>>690695372

That's a fine bunch of crazy you got going there. I don't think I'm in the market today though, sadly.

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>tfw you realise you will never be or do anything that will make a difference to the world or mankind

>tfw you know you are nothing more than a worker drone and will be useless and forgotton

>>690695620
>I've experienced the that you have before for me to forget about her it was hard but I had to cut all contact with her. A year later I'm perfectly fine and doing think anything about her anymore. After the deed is done you'll be much happier.

What the hell does that even say

>>690693450
Thank you for your input, but I don't see it as false hope.
I'm a fairly realistic person. You're an asshole for telling everyone "it only gets worse" basically.
While I know I can't completely get rid of all of my problems, I know there is in fact steps I can take to help myself.
From this thread alone, you sound like you need someone to talk to.

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>>690694316

>>690696405
Oh fuck man. That hit me real hard for some reason...

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>>690686327

>>690686327
I used to go to the same horseback riding place for years. The pwner'shuand left and she just completely lost her shit.
She'd shoot sick horse and drag them to the pasture to bury them.
For some backstory, I was there eleven years. The first horse I cared for was named Megan. I loved her, and saw her weekly.
I was away for a few weeks and when I came back I learned that she was pregnant, and had died.
My interests moved on to a pony named Lightning who'd adopted the newborn.
I loved him, and a few years later he died of kidney failure.
So I sort of adopted Megan's child as my favorite.
She had the stubborn spirit of a pony, and the grace of her mother.
I loved her more than anything, but as the instructor's state decayed my mom pulled me out of the program.
I've had nightmares about that for the last four years.
Of me trying to find the little one, and watching that place decay and horses starve stuffed into stalls. I dream of loving that place and not being able to find the horse I love.
It's been four years and that place still haunts me.

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Guys i have mental disorders (i dont like to specify) since i was a teenager, my life was pretty normal the symptoms wasnt dangerous, but since a few months i hear those voices in my head, and see things, my memory its fading away, every day its more difficult to write, nobody knows about this, and i know my hallucinations arent real, but im just falling out in myself, i just wanted to write it, live your lifes while you can bros.

does anyone have that story of the loli girl with the frilly dresses? and she's bullied and stuff. and anon is friends with jacob? it was posted in a feels bread yesterday. i really want to read it again thanks

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>>690696405

Guys please help me out I'm a man and i'm in love with my best friend who is also a man and the thing is i'm not even gay he is the only man that I love. I've known him for 10 years and I've always been susp that he was gay because he has never been in a relationship and never really talks about women. I love him so much and would do anything for him he is my world and theres a chance he loves me but i just don't know. And its not really an easy subject to bring up because I don't want to ruin our relationship. I need some serious advice on what to do and I truly feel for anyone who is also in my positions it really is terrible.

>>690697082
To add to this, my sister told me recently that the things I have nightmares about are actually happening.
Horses are being doubled up in stalls, some are just being left on crosstown all night,
When I found this out I cried for a solid half hour.

>>690697408
Same anon, this shit keeps me from sleeping.
There's so much guilt, wondering how I could have changed things.
These dreams make me seriously consider killing myself.

>tfw when you're manlet and you want to be a fighter

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>>690698212

jet or hand to hand?

In case it latter,

As sun zu said,

"something about knowing your enemy and yourself, bam, win every battle"

incredibly drunk right now.

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>>690697331

>>690697377
What is his name

>>690697377
>Hey bro, are you gay?
How is this hard again?

Haven't been in one of these threads in a while now. I'm 18 and recently took up drinking to cope with my shit. Any reason I should stop, or should I just roll with it while it works?

>>690698541

Hand to hand

>>690699202
it just seems like a really personal and random question. Plus it would just be really awkward

>>690699030
his name is Jordan btw

>>690697230
anyone? the anon telling the story was molested by his older brother too, if that helps anyone find it.

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>>690699013
My girlfriends' cat just had to get put down.

She was super old - 19. She was also the best fucking cat I ever knew.

>>690699473
If he's been your friend for 10 years and he even remotely values the friendship, I'm sure he won't overreact if he's not gay. Worse case scenario; couple awkward silences now and again, but at least you know.

>>690697082
>>690697408
>>690697888
I would greatly appreciate some advice on this. I have a lot of nightmares but this is the most reoccurring one.
It's been more than five years since I was there, how can I make this shit go away?

feels r 4 f4gs

grow a set bitch boys

>>690699562
Phew
Sounded like you could be my roommate for a second. I love the dude, just not like that.

>>690699473
>>690699812
This.
10 years is too long for that conversation to be "too personal".

>>690699212
Alcoholism is something that you will always have once you develop it, and you will never be able to cure yourself from it. The cravings will always be there, this is an absolute guarantee. Stop drinking before you become dependent. That means binge drinking too. It will only make things worse in the long run and destroy your life, and your liver at that. You will look like a fat balding fuck with pasty skin and dark circles under your eyes by the time you're 22. I'm telling you, not worth it.

>>690699660
I'm sorry, living till 19 means she had a really good life.

>>690700203
Anything you can think of that I can replace it with? Also, I'm not really worried about cravings for shit. If I had enough willpower to not eat for 15 days, I can keep myself from drinking.

>>690700099
>>690699812
you all are right and he does value it a lot. I mean I guess it is the only way to know for sure so its what I'll have to do

>>690699855
For some reason animals in distress really mess with human emotions, especially when you have an absolute fondness for them. If these horses are dying due to mistreatment or abuse, contact a local animal authority to inspect their property. If the living conditions are as bad as they really are, there will be action taken against the owner.

For now, you can't place all the burden on yourself. This is a situation that is out of your control, and as much as you love the horses, they are animals. Perhaps one day you can own your own and give them the life they always wanted. But none of this is your fault.

>>690687074
Man, I would friend the fuck out of that guy, even invite him some beer, fucking shit, bro tier friendship I tell you.

>>690687437

Thank you for this, anon.

>>690700380
Absolutely right. I'm just surprised how much I'm missing that annoying fuzzball walking all over my face at three in the morning. It's weird little things that seem to bother me.

Thanks anon, that was good to hear.

>>690700522
life weights and/or do martial arts, both will make you feel like a badass and will allow you to escape reality for a little while, if you do bodyweight training you can also do pretty good shit that will impress most people.

>>690700653
They did die. The owner would shoot the ones she thought were too sick and drag them down the pasture with a tractor and bury them there. There were plenty of people two tried to take legal action, but she has a really good lawyer.
I just blame myself so much for not being able to help. I think if I was there I could do so much more, but my dumb ass moved across the country where I'm of no use.
She bred the horse that I loved, her name was Miracle. Because it was a miracle she survived,
I feel so guilty for leaving that poor thing behind, maybe that's why I'm always trying to find her in the dreams.

>>690700972
Ok. Worth a shot at least.

>>690700522
You are too young to understand, but alcohol surpasses any mental willpower you might perceive to have. You can say that now because you aren't dependent on it. Believe me when I say: People who have been to AA meetings and gotten clean can only stay that way because they know if they drink again they will literally die from it. And they still crave it just as hard as their last drink.

Don't fuck with alcohol unless it's social, and even then don't get drunk. Match the amount of everyone around you if you have to drink, no more. You can't replace your coping mechanisms for substance abuse, man. You will only end up addicted, and then all of your problems will be getting your next fix. Life is a fucking horrible thing to go through, but you can't just tune it out by getting fucked up. You'll just end up a fuck-up, and then your biggest problem will be having no money, no job, no education, dependent on drugs and alcohol, and no one will have pity for you since EVERYONE UNIVERSALLY DESPISES DRUGGIES. Don't look for something to cope. Look for someone or something. Talk to someone. Find a hobby, a reason to get up in the morning. It's stupid and shallow advice but if you take anything from this don't fuck with drugs to cope, you will end up with worse problems than you have now. You're 18, you're a baby, man, you can get right and life can change at any moment.

>>690701108
You loved miracle, and she felt that love. Despite what happened to her, you gave her your deepest love imaginable. There are animals all over the world that suffered great injustices, and many would call us shallow and naiive for caring so much about an animal, but I understand your pain. You loved her, all of them, and they knew the difference before they died. They knew love, and they knew pain. Most animals only know survival, and then pain. You gave her that precious gift and you need to sleep well knowing that you did EVERYTHING, by simply loving her.

You are very passionate about horses, I think one day you'll have many beautiful ones of your own and they will love you back just as much as you loved miracle. take solace in that. You did good kid, and they loved you back.

>>690702084
Thought I found the person who would make me happy. She's going out of state for college next year, and I haven't seen her in a month. Honestly, I'm glad I'm even trying to cope right now. Got really close to dying 3 weeks ago.

>>690699013

I fucking lose it every time on this one.

>>690702668
And before you give me that shit about how I'm too young to know what I'm talking about, she's the first person I told about my depression. She stopped me from dying the day before I turned 18. She means a lot to me. So right now I'm in a bad place.

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I love you Abigail, you will never be forgotten I promise. RIP

>>690702633
But how could I leave like that? How could I leave her to the mercy of a mental unstable woman who bred her only because there was no other alternative? I left an animal that I care so much about in such a terrible place.
I honestly don't even like horses that much, I just loved her. The way she always looked so innocent but was always mischevous, and a little mean spirited.
I just feel like I failed so terribly. I told myself I'd try to buy her from the owner of the stable, but I was just a stupid kid, and I left her behind.
I really do thank you for trying to make me feel better about it, but I feel like this is going to haunt me forever.

>>690687043
Does nothing.
I only find this creature cute because it's vaguely similar to human offspring, so I'm biologically inclined to support it since it's not a threat to my way of life.
It doesn't change the fact that I can't have even have human friends because the selfish gene prevails. In order to get ahead, I have to cut down everyone around me, and that's a miserable way to live.

>>690697125
With all the wishes of my heart I hope you get well, and hope that the things in your head dissapear.

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>>690702668
Like I said, you are a baby. If you free yourself from pain, you will meet all kinds of girls. Shit! I'm telling you, if there's any advice I can give you, don't put all your chips on one girl. When you're young, you are so ready to love, and love HARD, and when it fails it hurts so badly that sometimes the pain of "that girl" will last years. Don't just get fucked up because of a girl. Face the feeling you have right now and grit your teeth, accept your pain for what it is, but let yourself heal. Time will heal you if you allow. The funny thing about girls -- you can be absolutely destroyed over one, and then some new girl comes along that gives you that fluttery feeling in your stomach, and you wonder why you were even crying over that other girl in the first place. Things change like *snap*. Don't hurt yourself long-term for pain that is only temporary, especially if it's love. Love hurts, man. That's part of the game. But it's also the most incredible feeling you can ever have. You just have to know that you will probably experience the good and the bad; accept that for what it is, because the good is so good, and when you're on your death bed that shit is all that matters. You can say "I was a good man, and I loved her with all my heart, even if she broke it. I'm glad we watched the stars that night."

>>690701479
me

>>690703006
You're not too young to feel love. Love is as powerful at 18 as it is when you're 30. I know, I've felt it, there's no difference. I won't ever undermine how much you feel for this girl simply because you're young.

>>690703684
Its not even about losing her in that way anymore. I've gotten over it. But it hurts when the one person who cared enough to notice when I was getting really bad doesn't care enough to call me anymore. Like I said, she saved me. I can't forget that no matter how hard I try.

>>690703339
You were a kid. You don't have any power to do anything but love or be loved, and you did both. You left, and what is done is done. But you have to allow yourself to move on. They will always be with you and you have to remember them as fondly as the day you were with them. What happened to them was terrible, but it's not your fault. It never was. We can all think of things we'd like to go back and change, but eventually you have to accept that what is done is done. Time waits for no man, and accepting that we cannot change the past is part of coping with your pain. The other part is knowing that you loved them dearly and they got to feel that from you. Remember, you cannot change the past, and it was never your fault what happened.

I've always wanted to wite a long greentext about my love, in fact I got halfway through it but then I lost it because it was on an unreliable online notepad but long, long, longggg story short, she dies. And I can't ever recover.

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I don't even know why I came to a feels bread. I usually ignore them.

Maybe it's because, I don't know, I was hoping to feel something?

The past year has been rough on me. Lost a few close to me. Been screwed over hardcore by others. And something inside just...turned off, you know?

It's only been in the past week that I started to realize it fully. Over the past six months or so, I've estranged myself from just about everyone. It started with excuses like "I don't feel good" or "I have a lot to do," when the truth was that I just couldn't take being around people anymore. I felt black and white in a color world.

My friends stopped even trying to get me to do anything. I noticed that I hadn't even logged onto facebook in months. I've lost about 20 pounds (down to 155) since I last weighed myself. I just don't find pleasure in anything anymore.

I know everyone posts an hero threads. While I wouldn't call myself suicidal, I just don't think I'll be around much longer. I've never had depression and was usually known as the hard-working, funny guy. Now, I just work and go home. That's it. Soon, I'll probably stop doing that.

But, I did feel something. I have been doing something still; what I've been doing since about 2007.
Coming to /b/.

So, thank you /b/ros and femanons. Thank you for being there when I wasn't even there for myself.

>>690690934
Despite rumor, Death isn't cruel--merely terribly, terribly good at his job

- Terry Pratchett, Sourcery

>>690704879
I don't know man. Everything you say makes sense, rationally I know that there's nothing I could have done.
Sometimes I think about going back and making her an offer on Miracle, taking her away from that awful place.
For a person who believes strongly on fate I resist this portion of it for some reason.
I am a serial abandoner of things I love, maybe it's just meant to be.
For real thought,'I very much appreciate what you said. I think it's things I already knew and just don't want to accept, maybe that's the source of the nightmares.

>>690704646
I know that exact feeling. Someone saved me once, too, and she never really knew it. She's married and has kids now. She skipped town and left without a trace for 15 years. Not a call, no social media, she was a ghost. Eventually she showed up at my doorstep, in our old neighborhood. It fucked me up in more ways than I can admit. The point is, she saved you, but she's not the only one that can save you. You might not ever have as deep of a connection with another as you did with her, but you have to try to move on nonetheless, as harsh as it sounds.

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This one messed with my head

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Alright time to post the ones I have.

>>690705739
I'm still trying, but its hard. That's why I took up the booze. Needed some way to make the thoughts go away so I could sleep. Used to smoke pot for the same reason, but when I talked to her about that she told me she didn't like it when guys smoke, and now smoking just fucks me up worse because I feel guilty about it.

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>>690686327

>>690706183
Fuck man. This hits hard.

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>>690706183

>>690705124
You are depressed my friend, plain and simple. Some people can be clinically depressed, and this can be triggered by a traumatic event. I let myself be in a comatose state for 10 years and went nowhere, did nothing, and lost everyone around me because of it. But I rallied one day and said "NO! THIS ISN'T HOW I GO OUT!" You don't have to be anyone important or do anything special to have value or worth, because you have it. You can give it to anyone and those who are worth it will accept that. You are in the darkest part of your life, and it only seems like nothing will dig you out of this hole, but you have to start with WANTING to live. MOVE. Change your scenery. Get a hobby. Exercise. Find a club. You have to physically fight your depression, that is step number two. But step one is realizing that you have a serious mental illness happening, and that isn't how you will feel for the rest of your life. It will only be that way if you allow it.

>>690706408
It hit me hard too.

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>>690706445

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>>690706593

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>>690706736

>>690705711
You knew it, sometimes you just need to hear it from someone else. Your pain is so strong that you won't allow yourself to see that it simply wasn't your fault because you loved her so much. Don't let that consume you. You were a good person and you did everything right. Let go of that pain.

>>690690364
He gets left behind

Fox is left behind

Both die alone.

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>>690706919

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>>690686327

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>>690707050

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>>690707156

>>690706929
Thank you anon, I really appreciate that. Until she's in a safe place I don't know if I'll ever truly forgive myself, but I'll try to.
I just hope the nightmares go away someday.
Really though, thanks man. That makes me feel better about the situation than I have in five years.

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>>690707318

>>690706212
You're living for her, and not for you, and you will end up disappointed. You can't bend to her, there are only two tragic outcomes: She comes back and you constantly walk on eggshells to keep her from leaving, or she couldn't care less about what you do as you painstakingly assess how she will feel about your every action. It will crush you. You are building your actions and self worth on her approval, and from what I know, she is gone, and nothing you do is going to dramatically change that. You have to start living for you, and being you, without ever caring about what she thinks. Impossible to be said, but women are weird and as soon as you stop giving a fuck about them they seem to notice you again. Try that, at least. But don't mold yourself to her approval.

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>>690707433

>>690707401
You're welcome, I hope you find some peace with time. Cheers.

>>690707459
I am trying that. Its been a month.

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Gonna post a comic

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>>690707510

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>>690707803

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Does anyone else feel like they always have to start a conversation to talk to someone. No one ever send me the first message, or approaches me first

>>690707156
Fuck man. I was just watching this.

Fuck...

>>690707661
You are truly a lovely human being. It there's any help I can offer you in return I will happily do so, being an emotional sponge is never any fun.

>>690707713
Good, man. Make it a month more. And then another.

If anything, send her a text if you have to and tell her how much you care about her, and how you're kind of hurt over how much she just left you in the dust. But nevertheless, if she ever needed you, you'd be there. Leave it at that . Let her know "yeah you fucked me over, but I'll always be here for you. See you if I see you."

You'll get through this, time will heal, but you must allow yourself to accept your pain and want to move on from it. I believe in you bro.

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>>690707898

>>690707898
>29 retweets, 96 favorites
I don't know why but that just sickens me

>>690708000
110% my man, I have over 50+ fiends on Facebook maybe 100 on my phone but no one ever texts me. If i ever text them I get that feeling that im annoying them aswell.

>>690707433
the one celebrity death that really shook me.. feels bad man

>>690708037
I have been to really bad times in my life where a lot of the people around me were afraid to talk to me because I was too emotional, and I couldn't afford to go to a therapist. It gives me great joy to talk with people about things that ail them. That's all we really need is people to talk with us and understand how much we are in pain. We all feel it but for some reason we all ignore each other. Much love to you, I will always be spongey!

>>690698159
Nah

Some people feed off that feeling

They put themselves below other people and enjoy it

They enjoy being the victims, the martyrs and the ones who sacrifice

>>690690364
Wtf's not to get?

>>690693764
Tell her how you feel
It goes well - congrats
It doesn't - cut all contact

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>>690706508
I'm actually sobbing right now. Fuck you. I have 2 adopted dogs and now I need to get another one. Jesus. People are so fucked. I can't believe the shelter system is how it is. I don't even want to say what I'm talking about. Actually crying about a 4chan post though. fuck

>>690708467
You are really an exceptional human being.
Like for real, you are the kind of person I aspire to be, in case you ever need any help my email is [email protected].
I would very much like to return the favor should you ever need it.
All the love in this world to you, I hope life goes eternally in your favor my friend, you deserve it.

>>690708166
Thats it folks, hope you enjoyed, im trying to build more up.

So the way I see it...
Depression is basically

Poopoo peepee then the butterflies

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>>690709221
Ill see if i can help you

i hate you and the way you sweep my feelings under the fucking rug

fuck you and the way you don't want me

just fucking leave me you weak shit

>>690708996
Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I will email you if I ever need someone to talk to. If you get anything recent I'm sure there will be trolls, so don't expect anything immediate. Goodnight, and dream sweetly, you deserve it.

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>>690709375
Havent renamed some of these apparently

>>690706508
This hit me so fucking hard. I miss my dog so fucking much

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>>690709516

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>>690709638

>>690705316
That's just an alpha/beta thing

Don't enjoy staying back
Don't "sacrifice" yourself by staying back and letting them talk

You can't talk with people if you're far away from them
No one is going to walk you into a conversation
This whole post is beta bullshit

>feeds their ego by constantly being the victim
>doesn't actually like being the victim
Choose

>>690690934
The Death books in Terry Pratchett's Discworld are definitely worth a read. The whole thing is, as far as I've gotten, but Reaper Man is more poignant than most of them.

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>>690686327
Do you guys ever have those thoughts? You know the ones.

The ones that start out so small and innocent, but start to grow and grow and grow, until it's not just a thought anymore? It turns into an urge, a desire, a little tick that makes your hand lunge out in a primal attempt to grab something that's not even there.
It was so small and innocent. I wondered if I could even kill at all, then if I could get away with murder. I would play out scenarios in my head. Just small things, like shoot them in the street with a gun from someone else's house. Slit a throat in an alley. Grab them from behind and snap their neck. Common, everyone's thought of those kinds of things before. But lately it's getting worse. On the drive back to my house, I had a much clearer thought.
Grab 'em behind a building, toss 'em a trunk, drive out to an old abandoned farm, tie 'em up to an X of wood and chains, dance as I cut a thousand little slices into them as they cry and listen to whatever's on the radio, the swipes following the beats.
Cont.

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>>690708922
>I'm actually sobbing right now

As cringy as tumblr
>and OH MY GOD I CANT BREATHE

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>>690709746

>>690709483
I will definitely keep an eye out, I feel that anything from you will be fairly recognizable.
I appreciate the kind words, It really means a lot. Have a wonderful night my friend.

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>>690709825
I get these ticks, my hand flying out, and my thoughts are getting worse about other things. When I was a kid I would talk to myself so I wouldn't be lonely, nowadays I can't tell if the voice is still under my control or if it's talking by itself. Sometimes I'll say something aloud or in my head to piss about, a little "Put down the food, fatass", or a "You're fucking insane, mate". But I say those things of my own volition. Sometimes I'll think and say aloud "Who would catch you." and "Just give in." I'm not making those thoughts happen like the former, they come out of nowhere.

I know I'll never kill though. I swore to myself a long time ago, at the first hint of these desires, that I would rather kill myself. Not to avoid the voices, or the pain. I can deal with those. Hell, I even love my voices and pain, makes me feel more than just myself, makes me feel alive. No, I would kill myself just to keep someone else from getting hurt. That being said, someone tries to rob me, break in, or hurt someone close to me. Bet your ass I'll take my time, smiling and savoring it all under the guise of self-defense and a panicked mind.
So if the day I kill myself comes, I'll be sure to pay back my debt to this site. I'll set up the stream, set the lights, and leave the method up to all of you. You all get to choose the cuts I make, small and painful, or large and fatal.

tl;dr
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Thanks for reading this faggot's ramblings. Any questions?

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>>690709883

>>690708000
chekd, and yes.

>>690692046
I feel like I'm being Rorschach'd - what's this?

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>>690710229

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>>690710317
Last one worth posting.

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>>690686327
I think I'm depressed, but there's no reason. I smile, I laugh, but none of it feels genuine or anything more than slight. I have no girlfriend and that's not a problem. I have the money I need, I have a promising future and my current situation is generally enjoyable. Anyone else suffer from melancholy?

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>>690692181
I've always been sort of jealous of the kind of person who can have that "plenty of fish in the sea" mentality. I guess it's largely because of how isolated I am, and feel, and how few people I actually meet, and how few of those give me the time of day, and how few of--- okay, it's getting depressingly Drake equation-y in here.

Anyway, it reminds me of this, though it's probably intended to be funny, it's always struck slightly too close to home.

This post will be the last thing I ever write. It was very nice to share these many years with you all, comrades. I wish you all the best of luck in succeeding where I have failed.

>>690710933
Goodbye /b/ro.

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>>690709980
I know the voices are mine, but they're not me. They're different, all of em.

Nothing to do but keep it to myself and wait until they take over one day.

>>690710933
Whatever you believe, whatever life you have lived, may God have mercy and compassion on your soul.
To Valhalla.

>>690710317
Saved.

>>690710933
wish you the best anon, be happy, im sure, renember thats is not just the sun that makes the grass to grow....

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>>690710933

I'm sorry.

>>690711142
What are you doing about it? We all cope somehow, what's your method?

>>690710933
Save some seats for us, okay?

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>>690710933
Stay Strong Brother.

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>>690711299

>>690711338
Smoke until I pass out.
Drink until my face is numb.
Cry it out in a corner.
Distract myself with nature shows.
Occasionally vent here.

>>690687074
fuck, that got me

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>>690710933
Feel like I need to post this. He died 4 days ago.

>>690702893
I know, right. Fucking baww just from the thumbnail.

>>690711142
It's almost funny. I was at my Grandmother's house, helping with work, when one of my voices spoke up. No exactly how the conversation went, but heres something close.
>Hey man. Haven't talked to you in a while.
Hey.
>What are you doing?
Just working.
>To help?
Just to pass time.
>Don't you have friends for that?
They all forgot me.
>...
It's fine though, I'm sure they're busy.
>Well, you have us!
Yup, all 20something of you.
>You can't remember how many you have?
Sorry, just a lot of you.
>What's my name?
I don't remember. Sorry.
>Didn't you name us?

I swear my mind went blank and I felt empty and cold. I can't even describe what I felt, but I haven't heard that voice since.

>>690711671
Did he kill himself? And we're you his friend or a gf?
And if he did why would you kill yourself too? Do you think he'd want that? Just because he couldn't handle life doesn't mean he wanted you to end yours.

>>690711563
Do whatever you want with the time you have before you lose control. I know how hard it is to wait, so fill the time with the things you want to be doing instead of just trying to make time continue without you.

>>690711925
Im just passing it along secondhand. Joni was his friend, right to the end. Was a hard night.

Fuck guys, I fucking love you all. I can actually talk about my problems here. Sometimes I may not get replies, sometimes I get people shitting on me. Rarely I get the one's that can relate or try to help.
I appreciate them all. The lurkers that took the time to read my stories, the trolls that took the time to give me little hits of anger and pain, the /b/ros that make me see the sun the next day.
You guys will always be here, right?