In math I sat next to a guy called Mark. We got on pretty well, in a completely heterosexual manner.

Once I dropped my pen under the desk so I went down to get it, and the teacher asked me what I was doing under the desk.

I don't know why, but I replied without thinking "pleasuring Mark" in a sarcastic tone.

The best part was that our school had a policy of filling out a form when a student misbehaved and the first question on it was 'what was the student doing'. Teacher wrote "Jikarta was pleasuring mark under the desk in math class".

That was fun to explain to the parents. 2 day suspension.

>>690583369
we need gun control so perfectly adjusted, nice boys like this don't shoot up schools

>>690583369
a friend of mine got in trouble for having a deathnote.
he got the idea from the anime but the school took it as a hit list basically.
he was expelled for the year

selling weed to kids and shooting in the bathroom I was 16

Got expelled sophmore year for having weed

>>690584310
>how cool

>>690584384
Who are you quoting? You're trying too hard qt.

Molesting a girl when I was 17, they didnt even have any witnesses though

>>690584706
bullshit
story

>>690583369
Started a Jewish gang as a joke and it grew into a huge cancerous regime of "Hebrew hustlaz" terrorizing the school and tagging stars of David on the walls

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>>690584638
I was just in awe of how cool you were to get kicked out for bringing weed to school.

>>690583369
A bunch of jocks were hanging out being dicks like jocks do. I had a large ball bearing from shop class. From about 50 yards away i threw it hard against the concrete. Bounced up and shattered the star QB's knee. Someone saw me. Was hated in my town for years.

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>>690585099
i think this is complete bullshit, but i kek'd so hard that i almost pissed myself scrolling the first page
all i read while quickly scrolling "started a jewish gang"

>>690585436
>From about 50 yards away i threw it hard against the concrete
>Bounced up and shattered the star QB's knee
Today on Things That Never Happened

>>690583369
Punched a faggot in the face and got suspended for 3 days

Suspended for 5 days for going balls deep in my gf(now wife's) throat under the staircase, and leaving tons of cum stains on the wall/floor in that area. (we used that area a lot)

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>>690585643
No dude it's not a joke. I swear on my life I made this is 06'

>>690583369
I got kicked out of high school because I pointed out a mistake from one of my teachers. I was actually very calm, I waited for the class to over and then told my teacher in private about his mistake. He was really mad and ended up making a huge deal of it, what really pisses me off is that he was kind of important to the school and the principal kicked me out instead of dealing with the teacher. That's one of the things I hate about my country, no one gives a fuck about what's right or wrong.

>>690583369
I was almost out-schooled for a few days for protesting the school's decision to fire our librarian Ms.Neilson due to budget cuts, but then a shit ton of other people joined in to skip class and there was too many people to punish them all.

I absolutely loved her, she was like this little blond 30 year old woman. She was actually so tiny and cute for someone twice my age. Incredibly kind as well.

>>690586610
Which country?
Also that's rough buddy.

>>690583511
Damn gay ass nigga

kicked out of school many times for many things

drinking when i was 13, saying suck it bitch to a teacher when i proved her wrong after calling me out on shit, 'strangling and suffocating' someone and when i was real young smacking a special kid who was hassling me

many stupid things but least shit doesnt get real when youre young, so might as well

>>690586408
That is fucking amazing. Please, story?

>>690583369
got into a fight with 2 guys. jumped me on some bleachers. i had pulled a knife on them previously. wasnt in trouble but didnt want me fucking up more kids so they suspended me 2 weeks before end of year and froze my grades so i passed. best school year imo.

>>690586882
Exactly. I was a terrorist the public school era.

> be me
> hate school
> loner, work as early oyster picker from early on
> each day, jacob would harass me on the way to school "i walk"
> one day, i had enough of his bullshit
> jacob is a jock, never gets in trouble for his actions
> today i put a medium rock in my bag
> he goes to shove me
> swing bag off shoulder
> underhand swing into his shin
> he hits the ground
> i have been working all year
> far stronger than any kid my age
> hide it under sweatshirts and sweatpants
> drop to a knee and rearrange his face with many fists
> he isnt moving
> his friends got really quiet
> walk to school
> eventually cops arrive
not the end, will continue.

>>690583369
Got kicked out for fighting two years in a row.
For some reason people just though I was an easy target to bully until I beat them up.

>>690586990

anyone who wasnt had a boring ass childhood.

trolling irl was the best. didnt include bc didnt get kicked out of school for, but sometime in HS i stole double sided tape, and proceeded to tape all of the teachers stuff to annoying places when they were out of the room or doing something. taped half their shit to a blind and rolled that shit up, funny as fuck

</reminiscence>

>>690586706
Yeah, It was pretty shitty. I live in Mexico.

got suspended for ditching school too many days in a row before i dropped out. "yeah lets teach him not to ditch school be letting him ditch more!" schools are stupid dudes.

Some friends and I jacked off on each other during class. Shit was so cash. We're straight tho

I never have, but at my last school, when I was 6th form, there was this kid me and my younger brother knew for years - he disappeared for a few years, because his dad used to beat the absolute shit out of him and his two younger brothers (all 3 were between the ages of 3-8).
Anyway, he bought this fucking massive gardening machete off my brother, must have been well over 20 inches long, probably originally belonged to the council and chased the headmaster all over the school with it, I missed it, I only saw the aftermath and unsurprisingly he got kicked out for that.

>>690587075
Please don't

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>>690586921
>with friend in school
>holocaust history blah
>make a Jew hat out of paper
>him too
>wear them everyday
>other kids join in on the trend
>make a hand shake
>J-4-L (Jewish for life)
>Hebrew hustlaz was the gang
>more kids join in
>school staff starts flipping out
>get into debate with Muslim science teacher
>"you just failed me because I'm Jewish"
>cops take me to room
>call my mom and tell her
>she laughs hysterically
>so do I
After that every Jew tag and event involving Judaism was blamed on me
>expelled

Twice, because I skipped too much class, never participated, never made homework or brought books, etc.

>>690587601
That's pretty fucking great. One time I stole an entire box of burger king crowns (I don't even work there I just wanted them) from under the cabinet and gave them out during school. Everyone was wearing them that day, but I never thought to start a club out of it

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>Be me in Grade 10
>Likes to fuck with school computers
>Attempts to delete multiple programs on computer
>We have a substitute teacher
>Catches me deleting programs
>oshitwadupboi.jpg I'm caught
>Sub teacher loses his shit
>I call him a fucking joke
>Sends me to the office
>I deny everything
>Principal sends IT worker to classroom
>IT comes back saying some programs were missing
>I get suspended for 3 days, and banned from using computers for remainder of year
>Topkek was worth it

>>690587915
hardcore man, crazy shit deleting programs on a computer

damn how do you sleep at night

>>690587201
I hear rarely hear about the corruption on your country, but I know it's something that goes on, like with the missing college students from a few years ago.
I really take living somewhere like Canada for granted too much.
What other kind of shitty things happen there in regards to the education system if you do t mind me asking.

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>ITT:
Thing I wish I did in school but was too much of a loser to do it

I bought a metal lighter during the DC trip. I didn't smoke, I just wanted it because it had a badass skull on it.

Apparently the people working the monument didn't think it was cool and I forgot it was in my pocket. The principal of the school didn't find it cool either and gave me a 2 week vacation from school.

Everyone's parents were just kind of like "why?" It was fine with me.

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>>690587859
To this day I'm still in the gang task force as a radical religious gang leader
Funny thing is that im Mexican

>>690587075
> my grandma fucking babysat the cops that are bringing me in
> im like 13 or something, jacobs friends collaborated that i was instagating
> cop, lets call him smith
> smith asks for story
> tell him exactly what happned
> he silently nods
> i enjoy the ride, joke etc.
> my mom (actually grandma, bio mom is drug dealer, long story.)
> as i exit the cop car, i am laughing, so is smith and his partner, mom is confused
> smith gets call from the physical therapy clinic near school
(i beat jacobs face in right next to it, they have huge windows)
> i have about 20 witnesses who saw whole thing
> it didnt take place on school grounds
> not expelled, theres nothing they can do
> smith thinks it over and calls a powow, tries to get to the bottom of this
> jacobs father is literally just as dickish as jacob is
(wonder where he gets it)
> screaming at cops, acting like a buffoon
> threatens my mother (grandma)
> smith activates nope.exe
> smith arrests him, for a bunch of shit, finds booze in his car
> next day
> his best jock buddy confronts me
> here we go again
> prepare to swing bag, rock still inside.
> tell him "i fucked your mother last night" like a prick
> his mother is dead
> get expelled...thats the end

Sent gay porn using the school's intranet platform, i was 13.

2 day suspension

>>690588034
No, if you had any brains as a kid you would've realized that teachers really don't give a shit and you can pretty much do whatever you want. At least that was my experience.

>>690586408
Explain further this sounds like gold

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>>690583644
Dubs!

We don't just need gun control we need to ABOLISH the 2nd Amendment altogether. It is useless. Join the fight now!

>>690588264
I literally explained it already

>>690588166
we used to set all the computers to go straight to gay porn, changed the admin password (admin was an asshat, never set a hard one) took them like 2 days to get it undone, never got caught

>>690588302
you are an idiot. go preach to /pol/

>>690588356
Listen here you GOD DAMN MOTHERFUCKING CRAZY PSYCHO RETARD IDIOT. If you are going to slander and bash my name to everyone on this GOD DAMN FUCKING planet then you need to consider and seeing me face-face with SEVERAL FUCKING consequences. I am well aware that I am a Sex Offender and on the Judici and disclosure websites from my child molestation cases and other things but do you you think I am going to stop with what I am doing now with kids? Your FUCKING high because I will NEVER FUCKING stop. I have molested a 7 year old girl and couldn't be more proud of my self for that. I go for young girls under ages 13 considering that they are way more mature then most CRAZY PSYCHOPATHS like you are. I basically go for young girls so I can manipulate to them, take advantage of them, abuse them, sell them drugs, make them believe every lie I tell them, steal from them, sell their bodies for prostituation, molest them, strangle then burn them alive. That literally is my life. Being a 32 year old sex offender is nothing wrong what do ever with that situation at all. Little girls are my life and ALWAYS FUCKING will be. I'm not going to lie I love molesting them then I bang them so hard until they puke out of their GOD DAMN stomaches. Like I mentioned there is nothing wrong what so ever with older men like me loving young girls.

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>>690588302
>We don't just need gun control we need to ABOLISH the 2nd Amendment altogether.
YES! Then the 1st, 4th, 6th, 7th, 13th etc.

>>690587263
here in germany the parents have to pay a fine and police shows up every morning to escort you to the school.

>in middle school
>am band fag
>dickhead is bullying my friend
>I throw my saxophone at him
>shatters dickhead's knee
>get suspended
>but dickhead gets suspended too and remains a band fag 4 lyf

>>690588546
Nice to know.

>>690588546
failpasta

>>690588670
Plus I love toddlers and newborn little girls. Everyone agrees to that being a pedophile is a great naturally life which in my circumstances it is. I don't give a RATS FLYING FUCK what any of you MOTHER FUCKERS think. LITTLE GIRLS are my life and ALWAYS FUCKING will be including me molesting them. FYI I have more then one Facebook account and this is one of my accounts that I use. I literally get sick of all 3 of my GOD DAMN FUCKING ex wives telling everyone about my FUCKING life so I threatening their life. That's why I have several OP's on me thru Richland & Lawrence Counties. I suggest you stop slandering and bashing my name to everyone about my sex convictions. I will start off by ripping your genitals, off (if you even have one)with a rusty, serrated, blood stained knife. Then I will fill it up with horse semen, shove it up into that filthy equestrian ass of yours. After violating your dignity, I will rip off the genitals, coat them in lead, and shove it deep into your throat, thus causing blood poisoning. When I'm done with those two, I will sever your knees, which means you are forced to crawl. After that, I will stab you with a utility knife a.k.a. a cutter, you simpleton. I will stab you in places where you'll feel very uncomfortable. Then, I will impale rusty needles into your blood-stained skin, which means, more blood poisoning. Next, I will shove large amounts of laxative, emptying your digestive system completely, and fill up a basin with your shit.

>>690585099
Were they stealing people's money?

>>690588806
I did steal shit with a few friends in the gym lockers yes like iPods and phones etc.

>>690588802
the fuck you derailing the thread for faggot? dumbass fail pastas

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>wrote my name on my desk with a green sharpie in 4th grade
>suspended for 1 day because "vandalism"

>>690588239
maybe they gave up hope on you and concentrated on the students they thought had some potential? or they're only teachers for the summer break.

>>690588931
When that is done, I'll shove a gag ball into that filthy mouth, rip your anus with a saw, and expose your intestines. When that's over, I'll pull of your skin into strips, put shit into them, take off the bloody gag ball, and force down the shit into your mouth. But I will make it an endless loop by stapling your intestines around your filthy gums. When that's all over, I'll snap your neck and pummel you with a sledge hammer like you're some filthy animal that seemed to be an accidental child, birthed by a prostitute. But I won't stop, even when you're dead. I'll keep on pummeling you until you're a bloody, mutilated mass of flesh, bone, shit, and HORSE semen. Then I'll put your remains in a plastic bag, put it in a blender, and throw it into the sewage.

>>690583369
smoking herb off campus during school hours

>>690588802
>i will stab you in places where you'll feel uncomfortable

my fucking sides

>>690589015
kys fag

yes when i was 14 my and my friend poisoned our class :--)

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>Be me in grade 11
>Selling small amount of pot (6 - 8 grams a day)
>Been selling pot for a few weeks and everything's going well, making decent chunk change
>Gets offered to sell White Ice (mixture of MDMA, and Methamphetamine in a pill form) by dealer for him
>fuckitwhynot.jpg I'll look cool and will be known around school for supplying
>Selling weed, and pills for weeks without feeling any heat from school staff
>Sitting in English class with 8 grams of dank weed which everyone can smell, while I'm high on two pills of white ice
>nofucksgiven.jpg
>School supervisor comes into class and asks me to bring my stuff and come to principals office
>oshitwaddupboi.jpg I know I'm fucked now
>Follows supervisor down to office, and walks in to have the principal greeting me
>Principal claims that I smell like marijuana, and asks to search me
>ofucktriggered.jpg I refuse the search
>School councilor walks in, and says my eyes are red
>I tell him that his eyes look red as well
>We argue about whether or not I'm high in which I deny (even though I'm peaking on a mixture of meth and mdma
>I decide to get up and fucking run because fuck getting charged for intent to distribute
>Picks backpack up and runs straight out of office door and past school resource police officer who is talking to secretary at desk
>School resource officer screams for me to stop running
>He begins a pursuit on my ass
>I run down parking lot towards the smoking pit, I'm skinny so I'm a fast runner
>Police officer gets winded, and decides to get in his police SUV
>I have about 30 seconds to stop and figure out a plan
>School is 30 - 45 minute walk outside of town
>I see a friend who is a female down at the smoking pit
>I give her my weed and pills to stuff in her purse to hold for me.
>I dive in bushes and hide.
>School police officer drives past me
>topkek.jpg dumb ass didn't spot me
>I get up and run back to the school's bus loop.
>Get on bus and get a drive home
.... Continue?

>>690588968
No, I was still a good kid. As and Bs. I mean the teachers aren't going to get you for being high in class cause they either don't know or don't care. And like eating food in class, or dicking around on your phone, or just skipping class, no one truly cares. I feel I got lucky in my case though because I was still a good kid but I had a shit ton of absences

>>690583369
Yeah few times. Starting in kindergarten. Actually got sent to the principal on the first day, as I recall, I was doing nothing. Had a radfem teacher who would blame me for other boys' shit without even turning around to see who actually did it. Later on other students told me they noticed it back then.
I did throw a crayon into her bra, however. Tried throwing it at my friend and missed = go home early.
In 3rd grade I was kicked out of class for calling my friend "dude" too much and talking about the teacher behind her back, talking about how ridiculous it was I couldn't say "dude".
In 4th grade I was sent to the office because I told my teacher that I liked the substitute better.
In 5th grade I asked the teacher all year to help deal with some kids who consistently bullied me, she did nothing and even laughed in my face, and to the class about it.
I don't remember 6-8th grade.
When I got to high school, I didn't talk to girls or women unless necessary and kept the school out of my life. Kept me out of trouble, turns out, girls bring drama.
In 10th I voluntarily left a lot because I couldn't stand the environment.
In 11th I was 2 day suspended for punching a boy who hit me first, I split his lip and he got stitches. Got off easy on this one, really. No police involvement.
Then I cruised through 12th just to graduate and never step foot inside the school or a school function again. I hated it so much.

>>690584638
>thread is about why u kicked out
>HAHA HE GOT KICKED OUT
wat

>>690589262
yes

>>690589262
moar

>>690589262
Yeah, fuck it, you've got my interest. Please continue.

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>>690589262
>chunk change

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>>690589262
>The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
>Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

>>690588302
Go fuck yourself. Now.

>>690589597
WOW you HUGANTIC FAGGOT, MAYBE works of FICTION are nice to READ TO?

>>690589283
idk guess it depends on the teacher. some get really mad because they take it personally when you use a phone or come to late. i was for one year in the US and it was really strict there. like they were putting down wether you are in class or not on the internet so parents could always check on you.

>>690589597
>>690589754
Gonna have to agree with BarelyEnglish over here, fact or fiction I just want to read a funny story.

>>690583369
Kid named Michael Bertolino was dryhumping the floor in 3rd grade. I said, "hey look! Michael is doing it with the floor!"

Some pussy bitch overheard me and told the teacher. I met with like every school official and ended up getting a referral/suspension (yeah in the 3rd grade). My dad thought that was dumb and pulled me out of that school.

It's odd because I've never been a troublemaker...never got a tardy in high school, never been drunk, never smoked, finished college in 3 years etc. I was a pretty quiet and content kid but for some reason that one comment was a big fucking deal.

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>>690589924
>Gonna have to agree with BarelyEnglish over here

>>690589924
seconded
im invested in johnny sells some drugz

Almost suspended and arrested for morphine tablets, I lamenated over a antibiotic bottle of mine and photo shopped a fake script for it. Total fuckig cash

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>>690590077
Looks like you got a taste of how shitty school's can be sometimes. Glad to hear the rest went ok

>>690590317
damn bro
that's some anarchist cookbook shit
good shit man

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>>690589262
>On drive home friends are patting me on the back, all kek'ing
>Get off the bus and I'm sure that the school must of called my father and told him what happened
>Father is a 220 pound bodybuilder and would woop my ass if he found out I was selling weed, and pills, or even got in trouble at school for a matter of fact
>I take my time walking home, dreading an asswhooping from my old man
>I open the door, to find my father in the living room, he doesn't say a word
>thefuck?.jpg School must of not of called
>I grab a drink of milk before I bounce because the school must be calling soon to inform him
>I go to my drug suppliers house, and tell him what happened
>He's impressed that I didn't get caught, and still managed to keep his shit secure (as I spotted the weed and pills from him)
>We go to another friends house, and retrieve the drugs, without any of it missing
>Drug supplier gives me $50 and 4 free pills for being solid throughout the whole ordeal
>Later that night I go home, and father still doesn't know what happened
>I figure the school must of forgot to call
>I skip school for the next 8 days in a row because I assume that I was probably suspended
>After the 8th day of skipping, that school calls my father and tells him that I was skipping school. They don't even mention what happened when they wanted to search me
>My father loses his shit, and freaks out on me for skipping
>whatthefuck.jpg? I surely thought I was suspended
>Oh well, I'd rather get in trouble for skipping opposed to selling weed and pills
>Returns to school the next day, and the incident is ignored
>owellfuckit.jpg

Legit story fam, I've graduated from high school two years ago

>>690589924
haha

>>690590386
>can be
>sometimes
school system employee detected

>>690589015
You're either a moron, or English isn't your first language. If you're going to try to derail this thread by pretending to be anything other than the pasty loser you are, at least do it eloquently.

>>690590386
I appreciate that /b/ro! Wtf is going on in schools today...can't have a pop-tart shaped like a gun, calling your lunch a "Brown Bag" lunch is a no no. I hope I never have to send my kids to an educational institution that follows idiotic protocol blindly.

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>>690590503
>Drug supplier gives me $50 and 4 free pills for being solid throughout the whole ordeal
topkek

>>690590588
I mean, sometimes it sucks more than other times. Like getting to use the weight room was cool as shit. But getting in trouble for getting mad at your track coach and flushing his gloves down the toilet sucks

Ths Orlando shootings is fake

>>690590432
Thanks they didn't even tell me if they thought it was legit for two weeks, ruined my junior year I was so nervous and paranoid in there all the way till graduation

>>690585010
>We both had to do a test we missed in a room elsewhere from class
>Were both done at the same time, grope her ass on the way back cause theres noone on the hallway and why not
>she panics slightly, runs to tell teacher
>Daddys girl, also talks to her parents
>Feminist school principle, she tries really hard to make me confess
>i wont admit it
>She's like "yeah we can't be 100% sure", still decides to write it down in my student file

Actually i wasnt kicked out, and the girl was very disappointed at that. Almost happened though

>>690588546
>your FUCKING high

-Generally being late as fuck

-Smoking at school's area

-Got drunk at balls and ceremonies

-Got into 3 fights in 5 years


-Helped a friend rob a locker room after a basketball game because we just watched The Basketball Diaries. This marked the beginning of my "misguided writing kid who gets into trouble" persona I've fortunately lost. I had my first hearing in front of the "teacher's court" after this. Basically you have to defend yourself in front of a court of teachers and you can decide whether you're expelled or not. I wasn't. I told them I was smoking in the bathroom and didn't know about any kind of robbery.

-Climbed on top of the school building and broke a tile to keep as a souvenir. I was caught because the gap was noticed and I left the tile on my bag in the locker room. Trip to court #2

-Got a blowjob in the men's restroom, zipper down, dick out, girl on her knees. Girl's ex waltzed in and knocked me the fuck down with my dick still out, she screamed and a teacher came in to see her weeping, her ex standing above me, while I was trying to drunkenly put my dick back in my pants. Trip to court #3, was spared because it happened before my graduation ceremony.

-Made a move on my young lit teacher my senior year. Pulled the shittiest pick up attempt by spelling out her name like Humbert does with Lolita in Nabokov's book. No punishment, just a very awkward conversation and a bit of teasing. "A few years later, maybe". Nothing has happened between us since then, she might have been lying.

I was "kept" because I excelled in lit (writing, analyzing, etc.) and language classes and dominated competitions in those subjects, putting a science and trade school's name on a list full of art & humanities schools. I was also always respectful when talking to teachers so they had a good opinion of me I guess, despite all the shit I did. I'm still proud of this, if it wasn't for my shitty interests I'd be homeless without a HS diploma.

>>690586882
kek, my teacher once told me I would never pass finals, I told her "Oh yeah? Watch me go you fucking bitch" and I got kicked out of the classroom. No suspension, no detention, nothing.

>>690587915
Haha a kid in my school did this too.
There was another time someone took control of a teachers computer from somewhere in the school and looked up "ass" or "porn" in google images while he was teaching. I'm not sure if it was him, but everyone assumed as much.

Your name doesn't start with m does it?

>>690591018
this was a shit story
you molested her feelings anon. nothing of interest here.

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>>690583511
Your name is jikarta.

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>>690583511
Your name is jikarta

>>690586990

Fail reference

Low attendance, poor grades. I refused to quit so they gave me free ged classes and vocational school. Got my ged before my class graduated. Was for the best I suppose