Where's your peepee?

Use a pair of pliers and a screwdriver. Also get drunk as fuck so there is no pain.

Niggers and twigs

>>690570292
just punch it back in place and then wrap a load of duck tape around your waist. Leave for six days. Problem solved.

ur gonna die op.

Can we have your stuff?

File: image-203611-topicsmall-zomr-203611.jpg (12 KB, 304x228) Image search: [Google]

12 KB, 304x228

>>690570292
Don't worry, Dr. Mengele will take care of you.

>>690570383
In your mum's asshole.
>>690570419
I don't feel like dying fam

Where is your Johnson bro?

>>690570292

Well, I had major jaw surgery a while back, and I did OK. If you're nervous before the surgery they might medicate you.

This kind of crap is rarely as bad as it sounds.

>>690570450
I was stupid enough to actually try that in high school(I've had the motherfucker that long because no insurance up until now). All it got me was a lot of painful shitting.

File: ds00096_im02496_r7_rubberbandthu_jpg.jpg (15 KB, 400x246) Image search: [Google]

15 KB, 400x246

>>690570292
Aren't medical problems fun?
>sitting on the shitter with a purple vein balloon lodged halfway out my asshole
>as soon as I go to wipe, it's gonna bleed like all hell

>>690570556
I've heard the mesh ones can hurt like a bitch because your nerves are wrapping around the plastic mesh. What kind of surgery did you have?

Had it done. No drama Op. Laptop is fine. Some minor discomfort but nothing major. After a week I was good as gold.

>>690570565
you obviously didn't use enough tape

>>690570607
HOLY FUCK
Dude, I'm getting queasy just thinking about that shit. Good luck, anon.

>>690570633
Thank you, based anon. This is what I came to hear and how I hope it goes for me. Now if somebody who had it go horribly wrong could chime in so I know what to expect if my surgeon is a dipshit...

>>690570292
I've had two different hernia surgeries, no big deal. The pain isn't really all that bad, and how off your ass you get all depends on what kinds of meds they give you.

Just do what they tell you to do afterwards, don't do anything stupid, and take it easy.

>>690570292
Pop a couple of valium before surgery. You'll be right as rain mate.

1 time i got herna surgy. Doctor said, you are kill
>>no

>>690570292
I had this done a couple years ago. I l stayed in bed for like 3 days afterwards but I wasn't in pain, just completely out of it on the painkillers they gave me. I stopped taking them after a week because they made me nauseous and it didn't hurt at all. Walking was a bit awkward for the firs week or two. It really wasn't as big a deal as I expected it to be. Going into the surgery was scary because I have anxiety but they gave me a xanax or something ahead of time to help me out. I didn't know they could do that.

You'll feel a lot better after having it done.

>>690570765
Thanks. The wife says she'll handle the kids while I'm on the med, so as long as I can use my laptop, I should be fine.
>>690570799
A surgeon will operate on a patient in that state? As far as I was aware, you had to be clean to go under.

File: scarpic.jpg (65 KB, 800x742) Image search: [Google]

65 KB, 800x742

See the scar in this pic?

Emergency splenectomy, lost a lot of blood, 9 days in the hospital.

At least I got a lot of good painkillers, dilatid, morphine, and loratabs, all at the same time.

>>690570903
I'm hearing a lot of positive experiences in this thread, so it's easing my mind a bit. Thanks for contributing, anon.

>>690570292
>>690570799
dont do this, just ask for anastheisa, if they give you anasthesia without your knowledge and you have already taken something, shit could get fucked up

>>690570967
holy shit m8, the recovery must have been fucking brutal

File: fe1b368e241ac85c37486d7809d8bae9.jpg (17 KB, 300x300) Image search: [Google]

17 KB, 300x300

>>690570662
Eat your recommended daily amounts of fiber. Stay hydrated (especially while drinking alcohol), don't strain during a bowel movement, and don't linger on the toilet overly long.

Also? 40% of people get them at some point. Enjoy.

>images are for when they've prolapsed (popped out while you're shitting). They can go back up if you wiggle a lot.
>got all my grade 3s banded. Still got 1 grade 2 left.

>>690570619
>>690570765

Both of mine are mesh, no issue.

>>690570619
Orthognathic.

I guess yours is a bit worse as they will be cutting through a bunch of muscle, etc.

>>690571052
That's what I had been told when I contacted an out of pocket clinic once. They also said they would dope me up when they started seeing signs of the anasthesia wearing off. Not sure if that's legit or not...

>>690571076
Well they gave me a lot of painkillers to take home, the only part that really sucked was a catheter being put back in after I failed to urinate by myself on the 6th or 7th day, that and them making me walk about 10 minutes 3 times a day until I could walk without much pain.

Catheters don't hurt as much as people say, but it is a pretty sharp stingin sensation for a minute.

>>690571141
>>690571145
I've also heard the mesh can be tough to recover from if you're out of shape. I'm not egg-shaped or anything, but 5'8" 280lbs is nothing good either. By chance, are any mesh anons here fat or were fat when they went under? I've been losing weight from exercise and a special diet leading up to the surgery, but it hasn't been a whole lot.

>>690570733
The one thing I do remember is being scared of taking a dump because you don't go for a solid 3 days or so afterwards because of the painkillers so have plenty of fibre around the time of the op and after

>>690570835
you just became an artform

>>690571346
2 hernia guy here. I'm a fat fuck and both of mine are mesh. Only had a small complication on the second one, but that wasn't due to the mesh. A small pocket left behind after the repair filled with fluid and had to be fixed. Didn't get charged anything for that.

>>690571423
They gave me stool softeners, so it wasn't horrible or anything.

I've been under and had bowel surgery twice for fucked up lower intestine / ileum. If you can afford to take time off it's really not too bad.
>lay down, have needle poked in arm
>fall asleep instantly, never remember doing so
>wake up high as fuck, taxi home
>be high as fuck on pain meds and play video games for a week or two
> eat delicious mush food for a month

i had one inguinal, with mesh. I thought I'd be on my feet the next day, but I was wrong. It wasn't awfully painful, but I couldn't do much except lie around for a day or two. Then for a week or two I had to be pretty careful.

Balls and dick got black and blue. That was kinda neat.

>>690571644
Oh, good. I was worried, a doc had told me once that fatasses usually have problems. Thanks.
>>690571908
Doesn't sound half bad, but I have to work. My laptop does gaymen pretty well, so I have downtime covered at least.

I'm recommending weed for a few days right after.
Some quiet time with family and friends and video games.
You're fucked up on meds for the first 2 weeks anyway.

>>690570967
Hot man with scar!

>>690572260
>gaymen

Did you meaning gaming Op. Damn autocorrect

>>690570292
I had this operation done when I was around 10 years old. General anesthesia. Woke up and had a reaction to the anesthesia and stayed in the hospital overnight puking. Took about a week until I was on my feet and normal again but I was a pussy 10 year old. Probs 3-5 days friendo. Pain isnt bad at all.

>>690572250
How was sex after that? Any notable change?

>>690570292
I'd get that missing penis checked out first m8

>>690572995
Yes, meant gaming. My keyboard picked up on a retarded /g/ meme that I sometimes use when I'm over there because God forbid a gamer also be a tech aficianado, right?

>>690573028
Sounds like fun.

First 2 days are no fun at all. You'll be good after a week. The left nut will hang lower after its done.

File: image.jpg (30 KB, 400x300) Image search: [Google]

30 KB, 400x300

>>690573255

>>690570765
Same here. Never had any problems. Can't do any lifting for a few days. Strangest part is the numbness around that area after the surgery (forever) since they cut nerves.

>>690571346
Also a two-mesh guy but I'm pretty fit so no problems in terms of weight.

They will also move around the vein that allows semen to flow into the testes. After 4 yrs years that still kinda feels wierd.

>>690571715
This. If you're going to take pain killers you HAVE to take a stool softener or else it will feel like you're shitting a bowling ball when you finally do take a dump.

I've had it, sucks dick. You're going to be flat on your back for two or three days after the surgery. Sitting up, walking, etc will hurt too bad. Make sure your bedroom is stocked with food, gatorade/water (stay hydrated), etc so you don't have to shuffle your ass all the way into the kitchen and/or carry things around.

Like, when you're just laying down and not doing anything it isn't too bad, but any movement that contracts your abs is going to put pressure on your belly and cause that bitch to sing.

>>690574262
How should I approach the stool softeners? High-grade? Gentle? Obviously no laxatives, though, right?

Good luck anon what they dont tell you is they do like 100 surgerys like this a day and about 23% pull through and live a happy fullfilled life with no pain about 69% live the rest of there life in pain when they bend over and the remaining 8% die on the hospital table but dont worry if your that 8% you wint even know you just fall asleep and never wake up :)

>>690570292
I had one a few yesrs ago. Its only bad like the first few days after surgery. But yeah take stool softeners i didn shit for like 8 days and when i did it tore my ass from being so stopped up lol it was fucking bad. Its hard to piss too

Finished 10 weeks of a general surgical rotation just under a month ago, and inguinal hernia repairs were by far the most common procedure we did. 99% of patients went home on day 1 post op and about 80% didn't need anything stronger than acetaminophen +/- ibuprofen for pain relief (I didn't even write them up for any opioids unless they specifically asked after not getting enough relief from the above. Most never asked).

Standard post op orders were follow up in 2 weeks (at which stage wounds were fully healed and basically everyone said their pain resolved after the first week), with no heavy lifting over 5kg (~12 pounds?) for 4-6 weeks to allow the inner layers of abdominal wall to heal properly. I was generally happy for people to return to light exercise and normal duties at work (provided they had no heavy lifting) after 2 weeks.

It's a really straightforward operation and recovery is pretty quick, whether open or laparoscopic (keyhole surgery). Open tends to be technically a much easier procedure, but that matters more for the surgeon, less for you.

>>690574312
Getting up and walking around after surgery is best. Helps to heal and gets your bowels moving. It sucks but it's not awful
>surgery 2007 for knee
>surgery 2013 gall bladder removal and gall stone from bile duct removed
>emergency D&C 2014
>appendectomy 2015

Don't over exert yourself. Drink lots of water. Eat lightly for quite some time. Get up and walk

>>690574412
Same medical anon as >>690575030 here.

Macrogol (Movicol, and a few other brand names I can't remember) and lactulose are osmotic laxatives which are completely safe to take for as long as you want, since all they do is draw water into the bowel. Lactulose makes you fart more, but otherwise they work the same way. Docusate (Coloxyl) as a stool softener is also safe, and acts to mix water into stools themselves. Don't take senna, domperidone, or any other stimulant laxatives though, since they cause dependence with repeated use.

>>690575030
>>690575429
Good to hear from the other side of the fence. And thanks for the med list, anon. I'll be keeping that just in case.

I had an ingual hernia, they fixed it with keyhole surgery, no problems, came back a year or so later, had to open me up second time around (not a big cut) but the second surgery caused a leaking hydrocele, (my left nutsack filled with fluid and got really big, so surgery number 3 gave me a 1" scar on my sack, so they could fix that shit, worst case scenario though, all good now, just gets a bit hangy on the sack when the old balls get warm, all of the surgeries were a piece of piss, seriously anon fuck what these other dickheads say, just get it done pain ain't real bad

>>690575679
That's pretty much the conclusion I'm coming to from this thread so far, with a few exceptions. I have two kids, so it's not like I can chicken out and just continue living with it, but I wanted to get some questions answered and ease my mind a bit.

>>690575635
No problem. In terms of pain relief, it's a matter of "if you need it, you need it". I tended to avoid stronger painkillers like Endone if I could, just because the possible side effects of constipation, drowsiness, nausea, etc. was often not worth it if it wasn't necessary. But if someone wasn't responding to simple pain relief, and they needed something more, I had no issues with charting it and giving them some to go home with on discharge. Basically my criteria for discharging an elective surgical patient were 1) Mobilising, 2) pain under control with an appropriate amount of painkillers, 3) Eating/drinking, 4) Urinating.

>>690575972
You'll be glad when it's fixed,the pain of having it is worse than the pain of having it fixed

>>690570292
Dont worry OP, I had that shit when I was like 7, was np, they put me under fully and when I woke up it was all good. I had to stay in bed for a few hours but later I got up and played table-football np.

TL:DR; You'll be fine stop being a pussy.

OP here, I think my questions have all been answered and I'm a lot less nervous now. Thanks to all the anons the posted here. OP out.