>>690562726
i once ate a whole pizza in one sitting

>>690562919
/thread

When I was 15 I masturbated 24 times in a 24 hour period to win a competition.

I can masturbate without any physical stimulus

I've divided by zero

>>690562726
I'm MooT.

>>690562726
op is a fag

My first lay was a pornstar-quality prostitute and cost $1000 for 2 hours.

I've only ever cheated in a webbrowser game to win a GOTY of a real game that is worth around ~60 bucks

i once fingered a girl in a sousaphone case in highschool

I'm Bill Murray.

I'm getting a blowjob right now.

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Every girl I've ever played the guitar for (except family of course) fucked me the very same day.

At least 10 in college so far, many others from high school.

Best skill choice I've ever made.

I´m not a virgin

I once had sex with a Korean newly Wed on a flight between Seoul and Sydney, without speaking one word to her before, during or after. I didn't even know her name. And her new husband was sitting next to her, asleep.

I worship the sun.

>>690563026
You think you did but you actually didn't.

>>690563206
Timestamp pic faggot.

I met a girl on /b/ in 09 when they still had contact threads on here for aim,3 years later when she was 18 I flew to cali and fucked her in her room while her parents slept lol

>>690562726
Adolf Hitler wanted international war criminal (death penalty) is currently living in Queensland Australia & using australian military intelligence grade weaponry of elecetromagnetics to harrass me daily for 3 years straight now (been stalking me for a decade before that, im his biological son) through criminal assault; violence.

the old cracker has psychosis, schizophrenia, egocentrism, dyslexia, neurosis, permanently disabled. senicide

>>690563348
we are anonymous

we are virgins

Every night i regret all the decisions i made that brought me where i am today

i lost my virginity to my father.

>>690562987
and did you win?

>>690563340
Im learning guitar

>got a blowjob from 2 sisters
>one was 14 and the other was my age, 17
Almost told the older sis when i was on a good one, shouldve done it

>>690562726
Before I post ultra nationalist and white wing posts on /pol/ I usually fap to gay furry porn

>>690563206
i believe u old fart

I've never drunk chocolate milk in my entire life and I have no desire to do so.

>>690563340
Nigguh. This is the main reason Ive been thinking about picking up the guitar lately. I played it for 5 years and forgot everything, should probably start relearning.

I raped my sister in law when she was blacked out drunk

>>690563450
The most romantic thing ive ever heard

>>690563340
>call prostitute

>hey baby lemme play u stairway 2 heaven b4 we get to the main attraction

>>690563542
U give us true neo-nazis a bad name.

>>690563537

how far along are you?

>i can help you cut the learning curve.

>>690562726
Had a 3some and didn't even cum

>>690563533
I did.

>>690563573
Totally normal outside of the US.

>>690563625
Stairway to Heaven won't get you far but learn to play like this and women melt like butter. No joke.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9r9ghRna95I

>>690563677
Nowhere really, im really bad

>>690563518
Tell us about it

I'm moot.

I have half a million dollars and im unhappy

>>690563197
Kek

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>>690563687

>>690563784
See
>>690563447

>>690563479
at a rate of 500-1000 times EVERY SINGLE DAY NOT ONE BEAT MISSED IRRELEVENT OF ACTIVITY FOR THREE YEARS STRAIGHT THE GUYS INSANE

i dont talk to it i dont communicate with it i dont work with nor against it yet it persists and remains, mentally carstrated

>>690563755

not a lot to tell. molested since 9. had sex when i was 14. i've made threads before and posted pics. he's dead now, so i dont mind talking about it.

>>690562919
you cant sit once

>>690563609
Yeah it was I loved her to hell and back can't believe this shithole got me laid

>>690563953

Did you kill him with your anus ?

>>690563733
>some faggy whitebread shit

nah m8

latin is the way to keep them coming back

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qr12M8Ua_iA

>t. full time jazz guitarist

I met Stevie Ray Vaughan about 6 months before he died

>>690563789
>excess money
>unhappy
>"ridiculous"

nothing new

>>690563976
Lucky fucker

>>690563789
Can I have a few hundred bucks so I can get an apartment?

>>690564014

is this the part where im asked to post pictures of my breasts? (again.)

>>690562726
I suck at life.

>>690563479
>>690563950
stfu and take your thorazine

I once fucked a mango. It was meh.

>>690564100

Shit I assumed you were a dude.

But ok. Send us pics of the breasts that were so irresistible to her father.

Maybe you're my ex

>>690563953
I dont know the story, so tell it again for those like me, guy or girl?

I suffer from crippling depression and lonliness

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>>690564061
Pic related

>>690562726
Ive 2 scars on my loins and one scar on my balls.

>>690564069
boring

>>690563102

Probably true.

>>690563789
You obviously need to unload some of that to a poorfag, gives you an altruistic sense of self-worth. FI7139390054369483

>>690562987
low... i did that for no reason, at same age... just because i was horny... thanks premature erection

>>690563340
Let me guess, the only song you know is "Wonderwall" ? I did the same thing

>>690563677
Seriously any help would be brilliant

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>>690563413
Sol invictus

>>690564100
>I like this attention I'm getting
>I'll mention I'm a girl so that I get more of it

I make $900 a week not working a legitimate job

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I ate a thurmanator in eight minutes.

Pic related,

Also subbed chips for bacon cheddar fries

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>>690563413
>I worship the sun
MAH. NIGGA. Thought I was the only one.

I walked 16 miles in 'round 100 degree weather to Lil Caesars to get some pizza.

>>690564255
Well give me kike 100000 so I can say fuck life and travel everywhere

>>690564216
Aweee bastard, shes gorgeous anon, and i assume seeing as how you mer her on /b/ shes great

>>690562919
Hey, Americunt, they said ridiculous claims.

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>>690562726
I'm probably the most famous person on this entire website.

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I masturbate so much that my penis is now deformed and I'm balding at 24 from excess testosterone.

>>690564365
Tits or gtfo

>>690564295
Nah that's the thing, if you play that soft bitch shit they know you're a dime a dozen.

If you can truly shred they will fuck you just for being articulate and great with your hands.

>>690564365
>inb4 (((she))) posts only clevage with timestamp or stock image tits w/o timestamp

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I once fucked 3 girls at once, my ex insisting on us bringing girls to our bed on a regular basis, this resutling in me having had a ton of threesomes and the one foursome. Which is awesome.

Yes this is true.

>>690564426
She was rad but also fucked up as hell (go figures) we broke up after she went full blown heroin junkie I still randomly get texts from her though

>>690564485
Help me bro

>>690563789

As someone who works in an industry that serves wealthy populations, I can vouch for this guy. Fully 80% of rich people are MISERABLE AS SHIT. (The other 20% seem perfectly well-adjusted.)

>>690564485
>any half decent guitarist
>unironically using the term "shred"

gtfo poser

>>690564460
I'm a dog

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>>690564464