>>690555741

>exist

life with a warrant

>>690555741

shoplift

Made a personal garden

>Live in new zealand
http://thespinoff.co.nz/media/18-06-2016/new-zealands-absurd-gardening-ban-once-again-makes-us-the-laughing-stock-of-the-internet-2/

Get soda in a water cup

Took a right on red without coming to a complete stop first.

Steal 100 out of my momms perse

i committed mass voter fraud to assure that hillary beat bernie in CA

>>690555741
Explored an old abandoned paper mill

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>>690556193
reported

>MOMS GONNA FREAK

Stole my sisters panties

>>690555741
nice try faggot

Came on this website

I rode my bicycle at night without lights

speeding, also without seatbelt. ( im bad, REAL bad, i know )

>>690556412
underage b&

Put a RAT on my sisters computer.

marijuana.

public peeing is not a crime!

>>690556435
Go back to sleep, chuck

>>690555741
Speeding

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>>690555741
Drove 105km/h in a 70 zone

>>690556568
nice which one?

>>690555741
Bought weed

>>690556568
>[

what does it do

Rode my motorcycle at 80mph in a 30 zone. Oops

Stole a 750 euro bike

I was stealing clothes today

>>690556568
Nice one, that's a felony.

>>690555741
bought a gram of hash

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Do it. Pull the trigger. Do it.

raped a woman with my eyes I didn't know the pictures were stolen but I looked anyway and she was naked and now I have raped her :(

Stole a 2 liter of mtn dew from circle k

Graffiti.

>>690556998
well that is worth getting arrested for

I spent a counterfeit 5 pound note in a club.

Smoked weed.

Drinking beer in a public place (illegal in my country)

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>>690556640
agreed

>>690557100
shit is that still illegal?

I put a rat on my laptop and let my sister borrow it **;)**

Didnt flush toilet

nigger

Illegally downloaded a game, I guess.

I have a big load of plants in my garage just waiting to be harvested and smoked

>>690557182
shot up a gay club

>>690557140
It is very illegal where I live.

Smoked weed, underage drinking

Dropped a US flag on the ground and didnt pick it up

>>690555741
Dui

bombed some civilians ( Drone pilot )

Sniffed illegal powder up my nose

>>690555999
Nobody going to mention the double trips?

>>690557340
Yea me too ( liar )

Exist

>My parents are cousins

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[spoiler][/spoiler]

>>690556721
Drove 2km/h in a 70 zone.

I'm a crisis actor AMA

>>690557631
Why did you leave Reddit?

>>690557218


I hate niggers, that i do

I hate niggers, so should you

They run, they jump, they steal and fight

But they cant seem to do any other things right

no books, no school, no education

a blight, a plague upon our national

a nigger dying makes me smile with glee

abortions for niggers should be for free

So lets all come together today

and execute all niggers in the USA

>t. Dylan Roof

Does 4chan have a secret santa gift exchange like reddit?

>>690557870
Nicely put together faggot

>>690557877
yeah post your email with #secretsanta in the thread

>>690557877
yeah but we use social security numbers

if you type them in options field it registers as a unique ID

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CjlQ4mxlUEI
highjacking this thread to watchyoutube videos that force you to sign in

k thanks

>>690557631
> Implying the shootings weren't real
>>690557768
Top kek

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I bought a butterfly knife on holiday (illegal in my country) and smuggled it home through two airports

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>>690557411

i didnt want to toot my own horn.

pic is a 16 year old i fucked

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>>690557411

also good job on dubs lol

>>690558165

this is another 16 y/o i fucked lol....

>>690558151

how

>>690555741
Pissed in a cop car after leaving the club. Got 50 bucks out of it.

>>690556193
Im not surprised that you are the type of person to do this, not surprised at all.
You want to know what gave it away?
The fact that you cant even spell a 5 letter word.
Thats what gave it away.
Stop stealing and go back to school you fucking CUNT.

>>690555741
immigrated

>>690558360
>Im not surprised that you are the type of person to do this, not surprised at all.
>You want to know what gave it away?
>The fact that you cant even spell a 5 letter word.
>Thats what gave it away.
>Stop stealing and go back to school you fucking CUNT.
LOL U MAD BRO

>>690555741
I suppose it must be illegal somewhere to jerk off to cartoon depictions of little girls being fucked viciously. Not in my state luckily.

Fired a gun inside city limits, "poaching". Racoon kept getting into my trashcans, so I popped him with a .22 sub about 2 hours ago, and left him in the trash he was always getting into. Seemed like poetic justice.

>>690555999
Turn yourself in pussy ass faggot.

>>690558165
Pic is from 2014

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>>690558331
Stuck her in a bag inside a cigarette tin, put a hipflask on top and hoped like hell

Smoke some weed out of an Arizona can.

smoked weed, drank, and fucked in my friends car.

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literally OP

>>690558610
Why did you greentext that? And why did you greentext every line individually?
Also

>LOL U MAD BRO
seriously? Wtf, are you 10?

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>>690557870
kek

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>>690557623
Fuck you, asshole!!

>>690558724
Drain bamage

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never a frown with golden brown.

>>690555741
Credit card fraud and made a CP folder worth 40 years in prison.

>>690559123
obviously lieing. no1 admits that shit.

posted itt

>>690557221
Most believable response here

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>>690557133

Pirated Death Parade

My tears are punishment enough, series was not what I was expecting.

>>690555741
Exceeded the posted speed limit and didn't signal my turn

>>690559203
>lieing
Its LYING you faggot
Go to school

>>690557182
Roses are red and violets are blue,
And niggers are black.
You know thats true.
But they dont mind, cause What the heck
You gotta be black to get a welfare check

>>690559123

>read your post
>say in my head "wouldnt the amount of time in prison be depdendant on the state you live in?"
>come to realization some states are more ok with cp than others
kek.jpg

>>690555741

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>>690555741

>>690559436
>mad he got called out as a lier
>bullshitting to cover
lol faggot

>>690559471
You care that much about a word... Clearly biggest faggot alive.

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got inside a club without paying the ticket

Pirated Wasteland 2 last week

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>>690559619
what word?

>>690559123
>CP folder worth 40 years in prison
that's like 15 images. try harder.

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>>690559777
Lieing just to bother the fuck out of you.

This happened years ago now. I knocked a guy over in a hit and run. Really it was his fault, he just walked out in front of me. I had been drinking though so I just took off.

He was ok. Fractures but no serious, permanent injury. it was on local news but I was never even a suspect.

I felt bad about the whole thing for a while but not anymore.

>>690555741
I killed someone in cold blood.

>>690560021
>Lieing

is that some kind of chink name?

>55 in 54

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>>690560160

>>690559581
I am not samefag

>>690560188
>posting within 10 seconds

damn

whats got you upset lad?

>>690555741
Six hours ago
>Jump on a cop car cause we won the nba finals
>get drunk
>fall asleep on the roof of a shopping center.

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>>690560344

>>690560310
Boredom has got me. and the only thing that can fix it is posting shit talk to other faggots. Yeah admitted faggot. Are you man enough to admit?

>>690560344
Its sad you like watching millionares chasing around a bag of air in their pj's

>>690560446
wew i feel that you fucking cock sucker

im bored out of my mind talking to your faggot ass you DOUBLE NIGGER

>>690555741
Download Game of Thrones SE06EP09

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>>690560641
Whitest nigger i know. Gosh i just love being a nigger.

>>690555741
>forged a signature
Nothing major,just to sell a car.

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>>690556332

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>>690560789
u wish u were 3/5th the nigger i am

i was drunk and it was in the middle of the night when i broke off an obituary notice from the church wall... later when was i was in police car they found this note in my pocket becouse i kept it out of stupidity... they ask why i did it and i said i don't know... policeman laughed that no one will now come to the old ladys funeral becouse of me no one will now that 97years old granny died... i was lucky becouse i just get to pay a rather big fine and not going to court

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>>690555741
had this bad a face.

>>690558852
Being trolled this hard

>>690561092
whats up with the gay pin on lapel?

>>690555741
did 50km/h in a 40 zone

>>690561070
True. I'm go buy some dank nugs.. Thats the most illegal thing i do. Brb 30 minutes.*gets back is shit weed* oh well maybe i can get high.

>>690556234
move on with Trump's assesination then, Bill

The weed

Drove 120km/h in my little van.
National speed limit is 80km/h.
Couldn't go faster because I ran out of road. (Lamest thing I've ever done)

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>>690561398
im busy hanging with my bro epstein

smoke a joint (its my birthday today so wish me a good one)

>>690559003
Explain. I have smoked weed off a can or folium for o15 years now.

j-walking

I stole gummy bears when i was 5. Watched porn under 18. All the bullshit

Ate some mushrooms and watched CP

smoked weed.
im also about to buy a Q.
sydney nsw ftw

>>690562275
this

>>690561900
have a good one cunt.
how old are ya?

Smoked some weed. I'm hardcore like that.

>>690555741
Watched a movie I'd downloaded of the internet.

>>690560176
most underrated post to date.

>>690560459
>team work
>skill
>hard work
fuck you faggot, team sports are amazing feats of human strenght.

>>690562645
How much you buy Qs for?

>>690562973
$90 ausfag

I candyflipped, it was cool.

got dubs

>>690562973
>How much you buy Qs for?
you???

drove without a license

>>690555741
Got a fraudulent inspection sticker put on my car, paid for in drugs. I'm turning into white trash...

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>>690559027
Nice box logo you edgy faggot

>>690561070
I thought was Victor Wooten for a sec

Threatened my old boss and then threatened his lawyer to pay the fuck up. Pretty sure it could be considered extortion, but it worked. His lawyer was a dick lol

>>690563900
Oh yeah and then I gambled and bought drugs with the money like a fucking degenerate, so it was a two-fer I guess

LOOOL

Smoked a cigarette at 15 years old. Illegal af

>>690556568
I prefer mice to rats

>>690564636
That's not illegal though

>>690564687
U have to be 16 to smoke in my date

>>690557218
Hello my nigger
Lovely to see you today
My friend forever

Took a left at a "No Left Turn" sign :^)

Switch the price tag on a $50 playstation game so i culd get it for $20.

>>690555741
Weed

I've been driving a bright yellow muscle car across the country without a licence plate or registration with a loaded double barrel sawed of shotgun.

>>690568059
Im finna tell on you

When i was 16 years old ( 2 years ago ) i used my moms credit card online to tip a twitch streamer

Got drunk and ripped the wing mirrors off someone's car. Still have the mirror itself somewhere.

>>690568924
You are a piece of shit

>>690555741
stole earphones and usb charger from supermarket because they were overpriced

>>690568977
Haha. I felt bad too. He was a cunt drunk though. Would sit in his car drinking and throw his empties all over the place and any rubbish in general.

>>690556083
this

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>>690568977

>>690562564
Lol why?

Jacked it inna car because 13.5 hour shift

Sold weed to a 13 year old

>>690556301
Deutsch ?

Downloaded zomboy discog

>>690556193
Go to your room and wait for me.

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>>690560459
I'm not even a fan of the ol sportsball. But Cleveland hasn't won a single professional sports championship in over half a decade. This city has a reputation for being one of the worst in America. The fact that the people who script these sports gave us a chance in the first place gives me hope for the future

on some real nigga shit doe, yall niggaz aint never hit no llicks. foh

>>690569583
Also it was the only excuse I'll ever have outside of a fucking zombie outbreak to fucking DANCE ON A PATROL CAR

>>690555741
Downloaded the hit 2009 film "Rango"

Did coke friday and saturday. Sped to work today.

/edge

have been downloading CP on my brother in law's laptop over the last few months and saving it in an innocuous folder he'd never look in.

soon it'll be time to report him to law enforcement.

then who'll be a useless waster, danny?

Lame as fuck but I bought and smoked weed. Steady on.

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>>690569831

>>690569831

...why?

>>690555741
public urination on a playground.

>>690569831
Sounds like you're salty because your a worthless piece of shit and he's banging your sister.

>>690555741
Broke into a house with no one home and smoke weed with two friends (in the house btw)

>>690555741
Shot Heroin 10 mins ago

I slapped my sisters ass, Im 14 and shes 19, but she liked it. The next day I grabbed it really tight and she didnt complain. Is that still illegal tho?

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I stop at a gas station on my way to work every morning, this morning I didn't wear my seatbelt between my house and there.

>>690570768
No. Your sister needs her ass slapped on a regular basis. All girls do.

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Shot up a black church

>>690555741
I smoked weed in a public parc and am currently participating in a class in college while high

>>690571207
>Parc

>>690570646
Hell yeah

>>690571467
*park sorry, fucked up english, in my language it's park, but english sounds more like a C to ne

>>690571620
>ne

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Was a student that also worked part time IT on university campus. Would intentionally fuck up computers, to later report the situation and make more money "fixing" them. pretended it was a reoccurring issue and probably tripled my salary so I had more money for beer on the weekends.

skipped leg day

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>>690555741
Made this my pc wallpaper

>>690571810
Basically every school IT 'expert' ever.

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>>690570768
keep grabbing her ass.. after you grab it show her your cock, if you're lucky you will get some head or you might get to fuck and cum in your sis's sweet tight pussy! ;)

>>690556193
Fuckin niggas gonna nig

Seeding toreent. Ive been an outlaw for most of my life...

Either torrenting the latest GoT episode or speeding.

Raped a passed out girl in a party

Don't even know the owner of the house we were in

No one suspects a thing and it was the best night of my life

>>690573730
>Being a fucking rapist.

Saunat poikki ja munan taa perkele!

The next illegal thing I would want to do is to beat your sorry ass to bits. Would be the best night of my life.

>>690558899
Ayy nice vlad reaction pic

>>690574004
Your mom would love to take it aswell faggot ill even make you watch and then cum in your faggot mouth tehee

>>690555741
I steal regularly from my job as a self serv machine cashier. People leave the change behind because they're too fucking stupid to look down at where the beeping and flashing lights are coming from and leave their notes behind. So I pocket them and then go put it in my jacket in the back later on. One night I had $20 and spent it on a video game from the store on my break.

People are really fucking dumb though, there's the already mentioned flashing light/beeping coming from the area where the notes are dispensed, then the voice tells you where it is, and the animation on the screen shows you where it is.

>>690556673
Kek, nice reference

>>690574500
Well, if you would manage to get trough me first I guess you would deserve the chance to try. However, that would be the last mistake you would do while still having your balls attached, co's knowing what my mother can do and is cabable of, she would make a sissy little faggot to eat them after she had ripped them clean off.

>>690555741
STARTED A RACEWAR IN MY TOWN! All you need to do is have a population of negroids, and get some brown spray paint go out while no-one can see you and spray racist ogga booga shit around town. The monkeys will do the rest.

>>690575137
I guess she ripped your balls off already faggot, also that was stupid as fuck you're retarded lmao

Smoked weed

>>690555741
when im out of cash i sell weed and speed to the kids.

>>690575163
Kek, projecting much?

Fucking kids I tell ya. You are one fine example why parents should be allowed to beat those little shits a bit more.

underaged drinking ayyy

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Have all my ex GF pin codes
Phone bank everything
>went to bar sat out back and used wifi
>Went into her web interface for her cellphone
>Changed her cellphone number
>Changed her passcode for phone
>went to her hotmail and reset password
>went into her gmail and reset password
>went into her facebook and reset password
>went into bank and reset password
>went to gov webside and reported all her gov id missing
>turned on call and text forwarding to her new boyfriend so he can see the other guys texts to her and see what a hoe she is
>with no phone to contact to get the reset code she lost it all, no access to emails facebook or phone

the fallout is a lovely thing to watch
she calls guys ad has them call her back and they get her new BF on the phone
she trying to borrow money ......
the stress she's feeling, can cut it with a knife

>>690576092
in my defense she did rat me out on a couple of things when we broke up

>>690555741
Set a tree on fire at a heritage site

>>690576189
No need for that bro, most of us can relate and all is good.

>>690559619
NIGGER detected >>690559619

Set a heritage on tree at a fire site

>>690556721
drove 190kmh in a 90 zone, i never got caught but now im in a wheelchair

>>690576614
Well, atleast you arent speeding any more so win-win.

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I fucked a young nigger coming straight from the underground...

>>690556988
Was she a feminist by any chance?

I steal a bottle of vodka from supermarket once. It was like 10 years ago, so I'm legally clean right now

Took $20 out of someone's wallet.

Stole three pieces of candy when I was six or seven years old.

>>690555741
stunt driving- charged

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>>690577887
You're a fucking monster.

I fucked one of my mares last night.

I shot a bound and gagged rapist (who forcibly sodomized a 4 year old with a broom handle, causing massive internal injuries which resulted in a partial colonectomy and colostomy bag) who had been abducted the previous night, in the face from point-blank range. 3 rounds; he was dead before his carcass hit the tarp covered ground behind him.

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>>690578041
greentext events leading up to it.

kill a crow

>>690578151
>went out to where my favorite mare was.
>rubbed her vag
>pulled out my cock

Buying and having xanax in my posession

>>690555741
I fucked your mom
>I'm an underage b& so she's going to jail.

Cocaine, and stole a shoe at my work

>>690555999
Witnessed

>>690576092
nice work bud

>>690576092
Defense?!?! You're doing GOD'S WORK, Anon.

> Truly

>>690556716
This.
Fuck, there's barely a moment I'm within the speed limit.

>>690557218
nigger nigger on the wall
with 7 legs and one ball
one could easily say
he was having a bad day

>>690578441
MODS MODS MODS