Don't have to worry about shit.
The second word gets out that there is a zombie outbreak, every tard with a fasination with zombies will walk, drive, hop, skip, and jump their way to the location and go crazy killing zombies and civilians alike.
>never worry about zombie outbreak, worry for the zombies instead.

>>690512540
stay inside

>>690512797
This, actually.

>>690512540
stay inside

>>690512540
save the thumbnail

Thread is dead. Was really looking forward to hearing what people said.

>>690512540
realistically, the majority of people would be fucked. anyone living in a city is done because humans are assholes. youd have to be more worried about the fucking asshole people than the zombies. people would just use it as an excuse to murder other people cuz 'protectin ma familiez'. noone would have a large enough source of water and food stored up to hide and wait it out, so if people didnt kill you, starvation/dehydration would. you wouldnt even be able to make it out of cities

>>690512540

Take over the alligator farm in my city. I'll be just fine.

>>690513829
>he doesn't have a secret cache of supplies in hiding

heres hoping that if I don't use it someone finds it and does

>>690514227
you can keep a cache but realistically youd need months of supplies. going outside would result in sure fire death. after about a month it would probably be alot safer to go outside, but where are you gonna go? you need to go to a safe source of food/water, and there wont be any

>>690514487
At that point just leave the city. Live in the wild. Kill the occasional stray zombie. Eat plants and shit if necessary. Animals stay away from people for the most part so hunting would probably be okay. Find a river. Go camping basically.

>>690512797
this except with racial minorites after trump is elected

>>690514487
its called keeping a low profile

i've got more than enough anyway

>>690512540
I don't understand how zombie outbreaks are considered scary. Especially in the U.S. where there are more guns than people, it seems like it would be pretty easy to stop it. The only thing that would have me worried is an airborne virus spreading rapidly through multiple large cities. If they have to bite you to transfer the virus then it would be no big deal, sure a lot would die in the initial panic but it could be taken care of quickly. Also, a resident evil type virus would be scary, with actual monsters not just zombies.

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>>690514910
What a dream that would be.

>>690514844
at this point, is it ok to kidnap and rape women?

i mean its fair trade. you keep them alive, they provide sex

>>690515141
1)people are sheep and have horrible reflexes. they would just stand there and let them bite them
2)if they run fast like in 28days later/world war z, escaping a horde would require some mad acrobat skills, stamina, and speed to escape. most people in america are fat and lazy and would die fast thus turning into more zombies and making shit worse.

>>690515202
>camping
>raping
I see no correlation between this other than the ing at the end of the words. At this point you can rape a zombie if you want to.

>>690512540
>grab axe
>pack bag full of canned food
>grab a few spare bags
>run to car
>drive to supermarket
>grab as much canned food and other long lasting food as possible
>axe to the head for any zombie/ person who comes near me
>drive to friends house who was once under16's archery champion of QLD (ausfag here)
>make sure he not a zombie
>he has a lot of land on a hill, hos house is at the top (good vantage spot)
>go into his shed full of all sorts of bows/ xbows / literally thousands of arrows.
>hold up in his house
>take turns sleeping/ keeping look out
>bow snipe anyone or anythinf that enters his property.
>get him to teach me how to shoot in down time
>not kiddin, this nigga had life sized stuffed target practice animals, he could eyeshot a squirrel from about 150 meters away.
>live there for as long as i could
>got his own large pond/ tiny lake in his property, learn to filter water so its edible
>live is ausland on rural property so there are possums/ wild boar/ wild goats/ birds/ bats all over the place.
>hunt them for food
>survive for ever.

Did i do good?

>>690515520
oh sry. i meant is it ok to kidnap and keep a woman at your camp lol

>>690515616
>drive to supermarket
first mistake
last mistake

>find zoo
>kill animals in one of those cages with the pits
>live
>???
>profit

don't attract their attention, go to basement, put boards over the steps so it looks kinda floor like. Zombies probably won't figure out that a floor could be opened, they're not very bright. I'd wait until they go elsewhere then collect the now stray dogs for protection and possable food source if it comes to that.

>>690515738
You forget im in rural australia,
On an incredibly busy day thered be about 15 people in the supermarket at once.

>>690515685
If you mean repopulation than i say no. People only slow you down in these scenario. If you find someone with skills, maybe. A big maybe too. At best you'd make an amish village somewhere with survivors. At worst, pitch a tent and hope for no zombear. Unless they can pick up the pace and give ample support they're useless.
>I'm looking at you pregnancy test double positive.

The whole zombie thing is a deceased nag, flogged to a gluey pulp.

It was never more than a cheap premise for a crap movie or TV show, and there's been enough zombie garbage produced to last a couple zillion lifetimes.

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>>690515890
In the case of diseased animals. Good Luck.

>>690516061
its a zombie apocalypses the very first thing everyone will do is go to the supermarket

>>690512797

The last part you said is fucking retarded

You should off yourself asap

>>690516345
And that will make it a zombie hotzone. Peace the scene and never look back.

>>690516345
Yeah i know but im serious, i live in the middle of nowhere.
QLD is about the same size as europe but has less people than england alone.
There really arent that many people here, id also imagine that if they were zombies then they would be slow and stupid,
I ised to work there, i could sneak in/out through the back door where the delivary truck would go.

You guys realize there is actually a zombie virus right? Enhanced Rabies Virus, thanks to humans. It is kept in a lab along with all the other horrible diseases engineered in the name of "science"...

>>690516631
see
>>690515439

If they aren't slow zombies then what?

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well it really depends

>Slow dumb zombies
probably can be dealt with if they only can turn you from contact

>fast smart zombies
probably fucked

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>>690512540
Fucking poorfags having to fight zombies on street level LOL

>close up my house
>sit back and enjoy thousands of movies I have on hard drive in my in-home theater
>go to cellar and grab some 50 year old wine, sit back and enjoy in the library with portrait of Hitler on the wall
>listening to Bach
>also have 100 years worth of non-perishable food
>check radio every morning for signs zombie apocalypse is over
>swim in pool

>>690515202
It becomes as ok as murder would, meaning still not ok but nobody will stop you.
besides anyone who would want to play vigilante

>>690516814
I imagine it would be like 'dying light'
People who recently turned would be fast and smart and strong but the longer they are infected the more the virus or whatever would just destroy them from the inside until they are physically no longer even able to function.

>survibe the first few months and you are basically safe, as long as you arent stupid

>>690516291
new plan
>find jail
>get arrested
>be surrounded by trigger happy assholes with guns while in steel cage
>live

>>690516865
Then there's this asshole.
>Wait out the apocalypse.
I respect it. I can dig it. But I don't have to like it.

>>690516865
I'm coming for you the second there's an outbreak

Here is what you should do in the case of a zombie outbreak. If you're actually worried about it you should do it before it actually happens. Go buy a small water filtration system capable of filtering salt water into drinkable water, and parts to maintain it. Go buy a boat. Pay to dock boat. Rent apartment near boat. Buy guns. Stock boat with canned food and filtration system and parts, tools. Buy radio. Buy fishing poles, commercial use, not chinese shit. When zombie attack happens, run to boat and stay in the water. The government will put down the threat. Trust me they have a theoretical military exercise and excuse for every single thing you could possibly ever think of, conspiracies even, and the things you can't think of. You just have to wait in a safe place

>>690517084
Mix in some Last of Us awareness to sound.

>>690517099
Check'd.
I agree also. Most criminals have skills that they can put to use during the outbreak. Hell anyone that isn't pushing pencils and pens into their ass probably has useful skills.

I say criminals but there could be some innocent men/women in there. There could also be some fucked up people in there to so.
>Flip a fuckin coin I guess.

>grab machete
>go outside knowing I live in a village with a population of 400 so I would only ever see like 6 at a time max
>find the cute zombie girls
>remove head
>necrophilia

>>690512540
Tell them to check their zombie privilege and wait for them to leave in my safe space.

>>690517099
Who's gonna feed you retard

Hah look at all you fucking civilians. Dead meat all of you.

Navy fag here, id just sit back in my destroyer just of the coast.
Totally safe and zombie free, any fags try to come near then we would just bomb the fucking shot out of you.

We would send fully armed and weel trained navy seals ashore every now and then in planned, strategic missions to collect food and supplies.

>>690512540
Simple. Very simple. Wait. Theres a few flaws to the zombie apocalypse scenario.

First, zombies would be easy prey for predatory animals. They're like humans except less intelligent and without weapons.

Second, freezerburn in the winter.

Third, simple injurys would add up to create huge problems. Small cuts and scrapes may not seem like much, but they would never heal. Now you got a place for bacteria and shit to go and do its thing. That shit would add up fast, considering zombies aren't exactly careful.

>>690517747
>Bitch and moan on zomblr about how a living human male told them to check their privilege.

>>690515439
>most people in america are fat and lazy
No worries then, the zombies would be slow af too

>>690517177
>implying you wouldn't die within the first few days

>>690516865
Too bad you don't actually live there.

The zombies will be eating your brain in under 5 minutes flat.

Honestly I'd stay in my house. Everyone's first instinct is to run. Start building OBSCURE defenses, from the inside of windows etc. Build up resources from what wasn't taken from surrounding houses and keep quiet and under the radar. If you dusguise it right youd be fine. Most people now live in cookiecutter housing neighborhoods where one looks just like the next one over, the chances someone would break into your exact house aren't impossible, but somewhat unlikely. I think TV etc exaggerates how many people would die, at least how quickly they would anyway.

>>690517985
Nigga you best be trolling.

>>690518019
Check your life privilege

>>690517982
Lol navy shore here, how's that boat life?

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I would probably lurk somewhere untill I'll see a nice girl to save.
She will fall in love with me and I'll let her taking my virginity

>>690518338
This.

Also build a rain catcher. Not a steady source of water but may come in handy. And a condensation tank. Collect morning dew too. Every bit of water counts.

>>690518338
99% of people in suburban areas would doe within the first 48 hours after an outbreak.

You underestimate how quickly people fall the panic and chaos.
Also the crime rates would skyrocket.
Youd have more chance of being killed by a civilian than a zombie.
There would be mad max style gans of people who are heavily armed, just going round and capping everyone and everything they see, just for the fun of it.
They would be going from door to door, neighborhood to neighborhood in search of supplies.
In a zombie outbreak, the first and biggest thread is other survivors.
Look at dayz

>>690518932
Survival of the depraved

>>690518563
>Life privilege
>Zombie
Bruh. you got me fucked up fam. Do I LOOK ALIVE TO YOU! I WILL RUIN YOU IF YOU EVER CALL ME ALIVE AGAIN. I WILL FIND YOU'RE TWATTER AND HAVE MY ZOMBROS AND ZOMBSIS' FROM ZOMBLR SPAM YOU INTO SUBMISSION. NEVER CALL ME ALIVE AGAIN, HEARTBEATER!!!~!!!

>>690517866
hes gonna suck black dick for nutrients.

>>690512540

fap

>>690518932
Yea I suppose I wasn't thinking about other people. Still, for the first couple of days it's best to wait it out before leaving, let people do their thing and increase your odds. Also you have a defined area to protect, you'd wouldn't have the risk of crossing paths of other people without some warning

>>690519214

This man has his priorities straight.

>>690518932
This.
>oh you are safe because you have a gun for protection and a survival plan?
>that jut means somebody with a bigger gun will kill your for your gun

>>690519214
You will go down a hero.
>But your dick will raise as a champion.

>>690516865
Good luck with all that when the power stops coming.

>get my hand bit
>become zombie
>zombie bros
>qt zombie gf
>zombie dog

sounds pretty good.

>>690519508
solar.

>get my hand bit
>become zombie
>zombie bros
>qt zombie gf
>zombie dog

i would prolly be happier than i am now.

>>690519508
>Implying no generators.
>Implying no solar power.
There are many self sufficient sources of power.

>>690519531
>>690519621

dble postin with lag, fuck me.

This thread is dildos. Stupid humans would do far more damage than the zombies ever would. You're better off waiting until the zombies kill all the assholes then getting supplies after. Zombies are far more predictable than people are.

>>690519621
>>690519531
All is forgiven. The numbers align perfectly. You will be a very happy zombie

>>690519688
Yup. Got a nuclear reactor in my basement.

>implying that a blood crazed beast without morals wouldnt attack other zombies

They would kill themselves out faster than they would spread.
The start of the zombie outbreak would be the end of the zombie outbreak

>>690519870
see
>>690512797

>>690515616
No women, so you guys end up blowing and having sex with each other

>>690520053
You won't be a zombie then.
You'll just end up a Fallout ghoul within your own home.

>>690512540
zombies aren't nearly as deadly to the human race than feminism.

>>690519688
>implying he has solar dishes
>implying he can maintain than with damages
>implying the "perfect" setup will be perfect.

kys

Pack shit for hygiene and canned food. Get some window covers for your car so u can sleep peacefully at night. Drive north til you found a RV that works. Go farther north into woods 20 miles from town in canada. Live out there for 10 years. Zombies freeze in winter.

>>690519688
>>690519611
These things require maintenance and that means training and parts down the line. Those doors will need grease, those power cells will need replacements, and sooner or later you'll have to go outside.

http://www.strawpoll.me/10128089

vote!

>>690519496
>>690519214


He will be the hero the stragglers need but definitely not the one they want.

All will bow down as he starts a colony because everyone was to afraid of killing him in fear of getting cum shot at them.

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>>690520053
>>690520228

>>690520339
VVV
>>690517747
>>690518019
>>690518563
>>690519060

>>690520042
>You will be a very happy

thats all i ever wanted anon. gl in your survival or embrace of the zombies

>>690520339
Hey man, we're trying to have a mature conversation about flesh eating mutants and depraved people killing each other, fuck off with your anti-feminism propaganda.

>>690520077
I agree with this.
Everybody always assumes that zombies would team up.
They are just mindless animals at this point who want nothing but to eat flesh.
Other zombies are made of the same felsh that you and i are made of.
Not only would the military be fucking them up, but they would also be fucking eachother up.

>>690520454
True. But how much later would it be compared to those who don't have that. I'm not against you. More against the idea of thinking there is such thing as a perfect base/defense.

>>690512540
stay inside and fap

>>690518717
To /r9k/ with you.

>>690519214

>be me
>zombie apocalypse
>Fighting my way thru hordes of zombies
>Fending off other survivors
>See a man in the middle of an intersection in the distance
>Naked
>Boombox blaring drop it remix
>Notice hes fapping wildly
>Go to defend him in his time of need
>Others do to
>Fap party breaks out

>>690512540
Fuck one of them

>>690519060
"Bitch I'm transdead"

>>690512540

If there was a Zombie outbreak they would be gunned down by SWAT, FBI, CIA, NSA, USAF, USN, SEALS, NYPD, LAPD, LL Cool J, USMC, etc. so fast they wouldn't have enough time to spread. Even if the zombies were like World War Z and could run extremely fast for corpses and behave as if they were mentally connected, they would be AC130'd, Cruise Missiled, Drone Striked, Carpet Bombed, Napalmed, JDAM'ed, Nuked, Orbital Kinetic Drop Rodded so fast they wouldn't muster up a force large enough to stampede a shopping mall. They have no vehicles or methods of defence consisting of a range greater than that particular zombies reach at the time of engagement.

Zombies, as impossible as they are to happen, are just as unlikely to assume control over a village, let alone a town, city, county, region, state, nation or continent. Even back in Roman times, they would have been manhandled as if they were frenzied barbarians with no weapons and Triplex Acied straight back into Viralhood.

>>690520454
>implying I don't have the money to have asians figure all this out for me

I can handle solar no problem, I'm almost an EE.

Screw the doors

Why would I need to go outside? And even if did I would have zombie sensing cameras and guns

>>690520955
>fuck one of them
>become zombie

>>690521069

Don't ever talk to me or my zombie child ever again.

>>690516631

That's not only some terrible geographical knowledge by way of Europe and England but also of your own country, too.

>>690520955
good luck with zombie aids

>>690516415
If we don't step up to save the zombies then who will?

Become zombie

And with this, we not only created a zombie culture, race and subrace.
>I'm looking at you radioactive ghoul
We've found several ways to off them early, too.

to be honest I doubt it would last long or even be that huge a problem if they were slow shambling zombies, but if they were lie powerful resident evil style ones that'd be fucked

>live in america
>literally 90% of everyone i know owns guns

I wouldn't sweat it.

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>>690520589

>live in fattest state in Union
>mfw 90% of the people I see on a daily basis struggle to even move under their own body weight
>mfw if a zombie apocalypse breaks out I'd be fine as rain due to the fact that most of the zombies would have to roll at me
>kill the fit ones and leave the rest rip
>rolling in peace

I'd have to watch out for the scooter zombies though

I've never been to 2016. How primitive are their weapons?

Are the zombies like the ones from 2058, or like the ones from 2089?