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>>690475641
>bump
'op can't bump posts newfag
back to iFunny

>>690475485
Shit I'm not dumb enough to admit to on the internet.

>>690475485
its a kinder egg how is that illegal?

>>690477988
It's b& in the US

>>690475485
selling weed, was a nice part time job

>>690475485
Drugs

>>690478240
*and selling said drugs

>>690475485
How did you smuggle it in? I am looking to bring some back after my visit to Ireland. Am I going to have to shove them up my ass?

>>690478196
Dealer here. Tell me about your clientelle

>>690478364
Hide it in your ak47.theyll never find it

>>690478129
really? I never knew that.. its kind of stupid when you think about it but I guess that is another reason why its a good thing I don't live in the US

raped my sister

>>690475485
I really want to find someone that can smuggle those in for me....

>>690478129
It isn't. I saw it in a candy store today

>>690478673
All food with a toy in it is b& because the kids might eat the toy and play with the chocolate by mistake.

>>690478673
Its because our children have reached a level of autism where there is a risk they will doe from eating it

>>690478717
Greentext?

>>690478934
>>690478934
http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2016/01/26/kinder-surprise-usa_n_9081286.html

Are you sure you aren't Canadian?

>>690479364
>be me
>rape sister

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Spammed my affiliate link on a stupid thread Or you can stand on your own two feet and get with the most reputable Cloud Mining Company to date https://www.genesis-mining.com/a/273275 3% of off promo code woJXzj want to check their reputation yourself? http://www.badbitcoin.org/safelist/index.htm

I raped 3 different girls on separate occasions while they were intoxicated. One knows but never did anything about it.

Having your way with a passed out girl is fucking amazing...

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Its truth

>>690480974
Also, my GF now drinks heavily and doesn't care if I fuck her when she's passed out.

>>690476328
OP can bump twice dumbass

>>690479082
>>690479077
yeah, happened again a few weeks ago

>>690481132
reference nigger. stop making stand alone comments

>>690480974
Only pussies rape girls who cant fight back. No joke if your going to do it can you at least grow some balls and not be a bitch?

>2006
>was fapster

>>690475485
have a folder with 2 GB of cp

>>690481629
All 3 came home with me to "crash" or I drove them home and stayed over. They were asking for it.

>>690481907
prove it

>>690475485
I was arrested for threatening some one's life. That's about it.

>>690482312
What were you charged with? menacing?
Was threat made in person? phone? online?

shoplifting

>>690481287
Do you play with her asshole?

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>>690483864
Play yes, but she wakes up if I fuck her ass

Selling shrooms and LSD probably. I'm pretty sure selling either one is more than half a life sentence.

>>690484657
I heard it's an attempted murder charge

>>690479671
Wonderful

>>690484877
Nah that's a myth I looked it up and for LSD the first offense for selling is between 5 and 40 years

getaway driver for a robbery

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>>690475485
A friend of mines mother was being abused by her second hubby. We took care of him.

>>690480974
>>690481287
>>690482044
Kill yourself you piece of garbage. Niggers like you should be exterminated.

>>690485132
Lol, 5 - 40 YEARS? Sounds less like a myth now...

"First-degree attempted murder carries greater penalties and often means a life sentence with the possibility of parole. Offenders typically spend at least 10 years in prison, although mandatory minimum sentences for attempting to murder a public official may be 10 to 15 years."

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>>690478934
It was probably the version with the plastic edges exposed. Kinder eggs are banned because it has inedible parts fully enclosed in an edible product.

>>690478129
why is it band here?

>>690485608
I fucking know right and 5-40 is first offense for less than 9 grams, first offense for more than 9 grams is 10 to life, I'd rather get caught trying to murder someone.

>>690485931
Some kids choked to death.

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>>690485777

Like avacados, peaches, plums... only in Murica, folks.

Also, checked!

>>690485587
You forgot this one:>>690484569

Why do you think they never reported it? They knew it was their fault. I used a condom. "Niggers" don't have that decency

>>690486224
Technically you can see the top of the pit, but I think they only care about manmade products.

>>690485952
And that includes the weight of the blotter paper in most cases so selling 18 tabs of LSD could get you life in prison. Good old American "justice".

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Extracted active ingredient in Alprazolam (Xanax) and diluted into Everclear to make a 1mL. to 1 mg. solution in large quantites and sold in bulk to numerous consumers. I never knew, but assumed that one of them could have potentially drugged someone with it, but the taste is incredibly aweful actually.

Synthesized LSD using Ergotamine Tartarate as a side project in the lab. Also synthesized 5-MAPB, and numerous other MDMA analogs.

>>690486490
3 drops of that shit in a girls drink would have her on the floor, congrats on distributing date rape juice /b/ro

>>690487097
More like 10 drops

>>690487097
>>690486490
cool samefag /b/ro

Sold drugs.

Snorted a line of snow white on the head of Thierry Henry's statue at the Emirates Stadium

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most illegal thing i have done was probably go to wal mart with my friend and steal a bunch of yu gi oh and pokemon cards when we were into them. i remember this giant box set for pokemon and i literally put that shit between the lining of my pants over my sweater so it held and just walked out. we did this like 10 other times in a row and called it the luxord game.

another time me and that same friend made friends with somebody who just moved in, and we met on the bus but apparently he lived by us so we chilled. i was playing smash bros with him while my friend went off to the bathroom but was really stealing all of his shit. so while he looked at the tv, he'd slip me some of his games like it was weed, and we went into his house another time while people were upstairs, but the door on the bottom was open, and stole more shit. i think he moved afterwards

>>690487543
How does it feel to hate yourself?

>>690475485
jaywalking

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>>690485931
Retarded amerifats (especially children) see candy and go into a crazed state of needing to devour it. They don't bother reading that the wrapper says there's a toy in the candy and don't bother chewing the candy they just swallow it whole. Eugenics is usually frowned upon by society so American children were pretty much faced the threat of mass genocide if it wasn't banned.

>>690487941
Travis or Wyatt or Jeff?

>>690475485

Your mom. Prostitution is illegal here.

>>690488252
I loved the use of exaggeration and trying to be funny. You are incredibly intelligent. "tips fedora".

>>690488145
I would imagine it being decremental to your social and economic growth, then impeding the natural progression of life, and ultimately beginning your demise. But that's just a theory, and end game theory.

>>690488779
Deep son

Dealing with you. Drugs are illegal here

I beat two guys within inches of death (and I'm not really sure if they actually did survive) when I stopped a rape from happening.

>>690488252
Weed out the weak is what I have always said. But I always wondered why Eurocunts have such bad teeth?

>>690489352
Lol, sounds like you jacked them off to completion so they didn't take your sweet ass

>>690486224
Because milk chocolate grows on bushes and shit

>>690479671
Noice

Murder.

>>690488252
Even when I was a child, I still read that there was a toy in there. Maybe this generation it's true but my generation I'm not too sure.

>>690479671
Story?

a lot of graffiti. very serious in the graff game

mailed a TV celeb who lives in my county dog shit

broke windows and smashed pipes in a mansion that was being constructed at night

>>690476745
/thread