fff--fffuuucckkk uuggghhhhhhhhh

i make the chewbacca sound, gets laughs every time

>>690428135
Thanks Dad

>>690428135
Zimbabwe!

HENSHIN A-GO-GO, BABY!

Normally I apologise and just cry myself to sleep

>>690428135
And boom goes the dynamite

Immmmmm HAVVVINGGGG ONEEEEE

WWWRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

>>690428135
I like to go mid 90's Keith Olberman. "From way downtown....Bang!

I used to say nothing, but now I go RYUU GA WAGA TEKI WO KURAU. Gets funny looks

BAZINGA

>>690428135
Llllleeeerrrroooyyyyy. Jjjeeennnnkkkkiiinnnsss!

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>>690428370
kek

>>690428135
Yahtzee!!!

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Ryuu-ga, Wa-ga-te-ki-wo, Ku-ra-u

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>>690428852
kek

I make zerg hydralisk sounds

Help me Mr. Wizard.

Every day, every fucking day I crave for the dame of my dreams. I want to feel her loving embrace, her warm lips pressed against mine, and her gorgeous curvature. Her breasts are that of a ripe fruit, succulent and radiant under the rays of the glistening sun. Whenever she walks by, her perfume fills the air; beneath that camouflage lies a sweet womanly scent that compliments her choice of fragrance. Her pussy... So tempting... Just when I thought my urge to bone couldn't grow anymore; I heard it. A sound of beauty. A sound of tranquility. I heard the shlicking of her wet cunt from the next apartment over, her moans rattled through my erect cock; but, that wasn't what got me horny. It was what she masturbated to. It took me so long to find it. Every night for the past two weeks, she watched this video...

>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ooDcstIm6Qc

I scream trumps name

>>690428135
don't worry. it is nearly over.

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>>690428967
see
>>690428852

>>690428135

>Thar she blows! He, he, he.

>>690428852
Fuck you beat me to it lol lol

Aaaand we're done here.

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Jet fuel can't melt steel beams

>>690428135
Oh, mommy!

>>690428135
Shit, fuck, I'm Cumming. Or nothing

When fucking my girlfriend I usually make her beg for daddy's cum. (She used to refer to her actual Dad as Daddy, and I love making her call me Daddy because I see the need to please me but also the disgust she has because I definitely see it in her eyes that she is picturing her Dad fucking her for a second.)

HORK! HORK! HORK!

"Hitler did nothing wrong!"

Take it all, and you better not spill a drop because it took me all day to make that you filthy bitch.

Boris Becker

>>690428135
"UUURRRNNNGGG watchyrhaircloseyreyes"

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH[spoiler]and boom goes the dynamite[/spoiler]

recently been saying ryūjin no ken wo kurae

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*exhale 5 times as strongly as possible*

CATCH!

good job angel, you know how to make daddy so happy

>>690428135
Yabba Danna doo!!!

>>690428135
"Oh shit I'm about to become an uncle"

>>690428135
HHHHNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGod's not dead

I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time... like tears in rain... Time to cum.

>>690428135
I call out my mothers name and beg for her forgiveness.

>>690428135
Get up here and open wide

Whatever you do, don't tell your parents about this.

ALLAHUACKBAR!!!!

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>>690428489

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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGHHHHHHH AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHWWWWWWW

SHAAZZZAAMM!!!

>>690429224
Hot.

I hold her down so she can't move, and then I put my mouth next to her ear, and yell as loud as I can "RAVIOLI RAVIOLI GIVE ME THE FORMUOLI"

Bazinga!!

>>690428992
LOL, so much this.
Seriously, I do make feral growling noises - very much involuntarily - and only when I'm cumming. Kind of embarrassing the first time my GF heard it she laughed and said "What the fuck was that, your wolf man impersonation?!" - but that was years ago and now she's my wife so it's all good. She does tease me tho; will laugh and make growling noises when we're out shopping and she sees a big boobed chick she thinks I'm checking out (or likely to), etc.

Under budget and ahead of schedule!

Hodor!

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"please Mommy may I...please...PLEASE....ahhhhh.....UGHHHHH THANK YOU MOMMY!!!!"

NO SHIT. she owns my ass

>>690428135

Ooooooooooooooooh SHIT! OOOOOOOOOOOOH SHIT! AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHGH! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

The missile knows where it is at all times. It knows this because it knows where it isn't!

By subtracting where it is from where it isn't, or where it isn't from where it is ( whichever is greater), it obtains a difference or deviation.

The guidance system uses deviations to generate corrective commands to drive the missile from a position where it wasn't to where it now is. Consequently, the position where it was is now the position where it isn't.

In the event that the position where it is now is not the position where it wasn't, the system has acquired a variation (variations are caused by external factors, and the discussions of these factors is not considered to be within the scope of this report). The variation being the difference between where the missile is and where the missile wasn't. If variations are considered to be a significant factor, it, too, may be corrected for by the use of another system. However, for this to take place, the missile must know where it was, also.

The "thought process" of the missile is as follows: because a variation has modified some of the information which the missile has obtained, it is not sure where it is. However, it is sure where it isn't! (within reason) and it knows damn sure where it was and also where it wasn't. It now subtracts where it should be from from where it wasn't (or vice versa) and by differentiating this with the algebraic difference between where it shouldn't be and where it was , it is able to obtain the difference between its deviastions and its variations, which is called the ERROR SIGNAL

"You're welcum."

>>690428135
Yabba dabba doo

>>690428135
Oh fuck me baby

"So should I leave the money on the dresser on the way out?"

I once said "ta dah" like a magician while busting on a friend that I hooked up with. No idea why.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH DIETER

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>>690428135
HMPF!

>>690428135
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lIf3X403kH0

>>690430360
DETLEF!

bush did 911

>>690428135
"And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is The Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8BvSY7jQ-jk

Is this all there truly is to my existance?

>>690429717
Before she can cum she has to call herself "Daddy's Little Whore" or "Daddy's Little Cumslut" and thats another moment where I see it in her eyes that she's picturing getting fucked by her dad. There's always a brief silence and pauses when she asks to cum that I can see her eyes gloss over for a second as she thinks about it.

Also, if she doesn't, she gets like 5 or 6 good hard slaps across her face

>>690428135
"I'm vegan."

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Just before I'm about to cum I picture Nigel Farage and I instantly stand up, salute & shout "RULE BRITANNIA" whilst I blow my load.

>>690428135
Excelsior!!!!!

>>690430754
Top fucking kek

Shia LaBeouf

>inb4 navy seals copypasta

>>690428135
"niggers"

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>>690428135
>What do you say when you're ejaculating?
HODOR

GoooooOoooOooooOooOoooogle!

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I like making girls uncomfortable. I use a weird voice and say "MY STOOCH, I'M POPPING MY STOOCH" of course I only do this with girls with no self esteem that don't look the best.

>>690428135
MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAINNN!!!

ARE YA READY KIDS?!?

"Wait, wait, don't move, shit."

HuuuuuUuuuUuuUuuuuuluuuuuu

Fire in the hole!

>>690428135
Hold this for a second please, officer.

Nothing

If you tell your mom I will take away all your toysssssssss

I lied, I only go a $20, what do you needed $10 for anyway?

What did you say to me you little gorilla warfare

>>690430696
>Also, if she doesn't, she gets like 5 or 6 good hard slaps across her face
That is no way to treat you 6 you daughter/GF.
What is the weather like in Mississippi these day?

>>690428135
Oh shit waddup

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>>690428135
Hitler did nothing wrong

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WOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

Then I crab walk out of the room with my slowly deflating erection

>>690430434
who is this?

>>690429815
same, good times

>>690428135
FUCKIN NOSCOPED BITCH. GET REKT!!!!!

>>690431598
> anon has never heard of dd/lg

Her sister's name.

>>690428135
you dont want the gut so imma shoot it in ur butt.

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>>690428135
"Gotta blast!"

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>>690431759

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>>690428135
Go go gadet: yogurt squirter

>>690428135
"BAN ALL HIGH POWERED ASSAULT RIFLES!"

Sometimes when I can, I hold in a fart until i'm about to come. Then when I come I yell "MAMBO NUMBER 5" and fart with everything I have. During the anus contractions of orgasm my fart sounds like a trumpet.

I once shit myself doing this.

It was 40$ right?

USE HYDRO PUMP

Thank's mom's OP

I yell "ORDER IN THE COURT" then slap her ass with my cock

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>>690433794

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>>690428135

This

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=40kvaRggBvc

Also check my music

soundcloud.com/ronniescholarship
Follow and comment

>>690428135
It's your host, Killer Keeeemstaaaarrr. Let's get riiiiiight to the nut!

>>690429836
top lel

THANKS LORI!

Oh what a lovely tea party!

911 was an inside job

LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOY JJEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINS

REEEEEEEE NORMIIEEEESSSS

FIYAH!

YAAARGH, SHIVER ME TIMBERS

>>690433995
Hahaha I love that episode
Nice tunes too

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I'M COMING FOR YOU JESUS, TAKE MY SEED YOU DIRTY GOD-WHORE

>>690431139
Thé uncanny Halley is strong on this one

>>690428135
You're a doing me a jizzun!

Winner! I am first again!

CRUMPETS!

here come dat boi

"Take that fucking hot load in your cunt you fat worthless bitch. When I'm done with you I'm sneaking into your little sister's room to fill her with cock better than her faggot ass boyfriend ever could."

ALL HAIL GODZILLA KING OF THE MONSTUUUUUUUUUURS!!!!

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>>690428135
NYEEEEES

"I'm so sorry."

>>690428135
BAZOOPER

>>690428135
The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.

>>690428135
incommmmmmmming....

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>>690428135
ka-me-ha-me-HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!

>>690428780
DIOOOOOOOOOO

"Check 'em!"

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KRAKATAUR

i always tell my girlfriend that i'm going to make her pregnant and keep that shit up as i come inside her. she loves it. she's on the pill thankfully

>>690428992
Kek

>>690436503
ZA WARUDO!

>>690428135
GOOGLEDIE!

ALLAHU AKBAR

make a 360 and walk on out

WHY IS THERE SO MUCH BLOOD

>>690428135
nothing or uuuh after fapping.

>>690429412
underrated post

I usually don't say anything when I cum, only when I dismount, when I almost always say "alley oop."

awesome

>>690428135
Am I beautiful now dad??

Kawabungaa!

>>690428354
They're laughing because fucking you is a joke you jackass

>>690428135
"DROPPING FUCKING LOADS, RIGHT IN YOUR MOUTH"