>>690354006
Become a good christian man, stop being an edgy, whiny faggot with no moral standards.

>>690354006
shoot the place up

>>690354006
rape someone
in the cafeteria
during lunch

>>690354006
Yell hail Satan

>>690354006
Get caught masterbating or devil worshiping. Most Christian bootcamps are borderline mindwashing monotony. I can understand your distaste in it, though I have nothing against religion myself.

Take a rock and carve pentagrams

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>>690354006
>My mom

>>690354261
>implying worshipping a supposed being that advocated genocide and forced mutilation is going to give you moral standards

>>690354598

Then why are you acting like a little bitch?

>>690354006
bring a knife and cellphone

Lock the doors during lunch and start a grease fire in the kitchen.

>>690354777
Holy trips don't lie

Op is probably underage.

Jack off to a pic of jesus and wipe cum with bible pages

shit in the bible

>>690354006
Underage b&

>>690354777
Do it op!

Bring a dildo. When caught, say it wasn't a banned item. Or just try and meet a hot christian chick.

>>690354006
Kiss another boy. Don't kiss a priest, though, because they like that.

>>690354006
Read up on the Epic of Gilgamesh and the Sumerian tablets (find the oxford translations, not Sitchin's bastardized 'ancient ayy lmaos' version), then proceed to educate everyone on how they were written more than 1000 years before Genesis, and that Moses is a dirty, plagiarizing Jew.

Also, go to evilbible.com. Educate them on how they are all worshiping a blatantly evil, lovecraftian horrorterror that condones rape and slavery, kills babies, and demands animal and human sacrifice (yes, that is all in the fucking bible.)

call them christcucks
get offended when someone refers to Jesus dying as "good news"
>How is the torture and execution of an innocent person as a human sacrifice GOOD NEWS YOU FUCKING MONSTERS?!

putting the 10th plague in perspective pisses them off too.
>so unless you ritualistically kill a lamb and paint your doorway in it's blood, god would kill your first born for something pharaoh did? Those kids had no control over that guy's actions!

>tl;dr, piss of christians with facts and truth
>inb4 fedora tipping, not even atheist

>>690354006
Publick masturbation in the middlenof the camp while reading gay magazine and screaming Allahu Akbar! And looking angry at those who will be walking around you, sometimes you bark on someone esspecially if he is trying to stop you or is simply approaching you ;)

Go to the bathroom, bring some matches it's a must, light up all the matches, then throw them all in the garbage can and sneak out and to make sure they're no witnesses.

>>690355000
Trips have spoken

>>690354261
>good
>christian
>morals

~one of these things is not like the other, one of these things doesn't belong...~

>>690354006
Get caught sucking some dick.

>>690354006
bring the satanic bible, and ask other bootcamp fags if they want to participate in your ritual.

>>690354006
Don't get kicked out. It'll only lead to more problems with your mom. It is wiser to just not succumb to the camp's brainwashing techniques while you're there, then come back unchanged. Your mother will see that it was ineffective. (Unless you two are currently engaged in a power struggle. If you feel that by conceding to her, you surrender power to her, then don't do this. If you really want a way to get kicked out, repeatedly break the rules they have there without breaking the law. That'll get you kicked out real quick.)

>>690355668
>Trying to get kicked out
>no witnesses
How does this help

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>>690354006
Tell them Jesus says you should hate your family, and you think that's not very nice.
Luke 14: 20 something

>>690355982
not him, but I assume they may call the whole thing off early for everyone if one of their buildings gets arson-ed.

anonymous bomb threat prior to leaving, from a throw away phone

>>690355978
We're trying to have fun here anon, go back to /r/takeadvicepoststooseriously

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>>690354006
>they do not allow knives, or cellphones

<--bring this

>>690354006
Continually insist that there is no god but allah. Be deliberately disruptive. Whenever the teacher talks about god, interrupt him/her and assert that his name is allah. When you are in the cafeteria during lunch, shout "ALLAHU ACKBAR" at the top of your lungs.

>>690354006
>moon man time

>>690354006
dumbfuck underage cant see the bigger picture

deal with it for a week and it goes away

or

get kicked out and your mom feels even more need to "help and save" you and you deal with even more shit

>>690354904
/thread

Blow some random dude or masterbate in public, you'll get out of it but you might end up some where else, or maybe talk about there is no such thing as god or that he Hitler killed God stuff like that

>>690354885
>>690355758

*tips fedora*

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You deserve to suffer a bit for your casual racism and that thing you did when you were eleven. But while you're there, look up all the sexeh parts of the Bible and read them as if by accident when you're supposed to be talking about Jesus.

>>690354006
I went to a Christian retreat for a week once; it was an enlightening experience. I took a homemade carrot cake and it was delicious even though I left off the icing for fear of melting and the raisins simply because I don't care for them. I spent most of that week giving out my recipe.
tl;dr Just go, dude; enjoy it. Make a carrot cake.

>>690357478
>implying anyone not christian is by default an atheist
Take your false dichotomy and shove it up your ass while you felch your father's asshole, you uneducated faggot.

>inb4 u mad?
Yes, it pisses me off that people as retarded as you haven't been euthanized.

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Look around the Indian grocery stores and pick up one of these. Wear it!

>>690357787
Post recipe faggit

>>690354006
smoke big blunts everytime pastor talks

When asked to read a verse, read exodus 31:14 or just fucking run. They can't leagly keep you there unless you're underage then go.

>>690357870
>Being this euphoric

Bring a fucking knife and a cellphone

>>690358525
>still thinks I'm an atheist
You really missed the point there. I'm guessing you might be legit autistic.

>>690355664
This. All of this.

Have some Darkmatter.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uNtBkOXItqw

>>690357478
Christians have no defense to their factually incorrect bible so all they can say is shitty memes

>>690358876
>plz respond

>>690358957
>factually incorrect bible

Well yes, it's not a science book

>>690354006
Dude, those Christian camps are like weeklong orgies. Those hot nubile chicks are so frustrated, they'll even fuck a loser like you.

Just play innocent games, like truth or dare (always take the dare), spin the bottle, and twister, and you'll end up playing hide the salami - probably with more than one chick.

They usually have lesbian leanings. Encourage them. Tell them love s what jesus was all about, and he wants them to know joy. Then tell them your cock is named joy.

>>690354006
Fuck the camp organizers daughter fucker good

>>690354006

Listen up OP, this is some advice from an old anon.

There's plenty of bullshit you're going to have to deal with in life. Sometimes, it's just easier to wear a fake face and deal. You know yourself, and if you don't engage, interact, or buy into anything they tell you, you're golden.

What should you do? Be an alpha amongst the sheep. Plant seeds of doubt amongst the innocent and how cool it is to be bad. I used to go to things like this, Christian kids are usually fucked up with a lot of pent up anger and anti-authority issues. Encourage them, ever so slightly, to question their values. Go home a better man.

>>690359619
this. fuck her right in the pussy!

>>690354006
>My mom is forcing me


MODS underage b&

>>690359831
This anon speaks the truth, but christian camps is literally pussy heaven, almost every christian camp expects the best of you so they won't expect you fucking a girl that was forced to go there too.

>>690354006
get caught masturbating. But plan it so the RA or whatever who catches you is a hot female, and time it so you bust right when your eyes meet

>>690354777
deus vault!

>>690360628
except thats exactly why you are there m8 because of such impure thoughts

>>690354904
this answer is way too far down the thread

Wear a star of David armband, and a yarmulke, and bring a copy of the Torah and the Talmud to study while the goy are studying their Bible.

>>690356241
more like a massive investigation will ensue

>>690354885
Nice one

>>690356241
that building will just be another martyr

>>690354006
Just be as disruptive as possible around the other kids. If the other retards cannot learn because you're barking like a dog constantly, then they'll boot you out.

>>690354006
Stfu and go through it like a man. You might actually learn something.

>>690354006
Bring knives and cellphones to the camp...

>>690359386
Kek

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>>690354904
that would be dumb, the staff notices it they'd take them but wouldnt kick out OP

>>690354006
Take some pot brownies with you. Distribute them among your fellow campers. Record results. You won't get into trouble, they will think it's the holy spirit taking hold of them.

>>690354006
Just tough it out ya little underaged faggot. It's one week, make your mom happy rather than making her dissapointed. It might build character and benefit you in the long run, who knows,. Not a Christian myself but I do like the concept of having a good sense of morality that can come with it

>>690362076
>do it and learn to be an obedient little bitch to our blood god!
kill yourself, christcuck

>>690363488
How's 8th grade going for you?

>>690363787
How's being an uneducated, gullible pleb going for you?

>>690354777
>>690355000
Trips don't lie. Also, take a shit on the floor in the middle of lunch. Wipe on another kid.

>>690364111
Trips speak truth!
Anon is an uneducated gullible and a fag

>>690364111
Leave him alone, he still thinks the earth is 6000 yrs old

>>690364111
>uneducated, gullible pleb
>implying you're smart and informed

Don't make me laugh, you atheist idiot. I'm not even a christian.

>>690354006
have gay relationships with the other 12 yo boys.

Piss in the tables scrambled eggs while speaking in tongues.

>>690355177
kiss kys

>>690354006
Well OP, here's the real issue here.
Either you're way too fucking old to be living with your parents and don't have the sack to move out of the house, or the more likely option is you're just not old enough to be on this site.

That or you're just taking the piss, but I doubt it.

>>690364569
Not implying shit, nigger. Pick up a book for once in your life.
>I'm not even christian.
could have fooled me with your adamant defense of it.
>you atheist idiot
Not even an atheist, you presumptuous fucktard. But go ahead, keep making assumptions about people based on false dichotomies. All you're doing is making yourself look even stupider and giving me a laugh.

>>690354777
holy trips, you have to at least do this now OP

for bonus points so other blatantly Satanic shit. study up a bit on Goetic magick and do it in obvious places all the time and let an official catch you doing it

or shit make some shit up that looks like your doing witchcraft and let them catch you evoking Satan himself

summon shrek

>>690354006
bring a copy of the ars goetia literally just a book about summoning demons

>>690354006
make a satanic summinig circle and start chantimg verses from the devils bible. im a christian, this will get you kicked out.

>>690366073
>presumptuous fucktard

But that's you, the enlightened basement pachyderm :^)

You need to do something with you life. Try to make friends, get out of your mom's house... Or don't. It's funny to read your rage posting, while you gulp for air and saturate the atmosphere with fat and adhd.

>>690354006

how fucking old are you anyway?

buy a Richard Dawkins book

>>690366937
>hurr I know u r but wut am i?
Please, keep going. It's fucking gold seeing how off base you can get while pulling your little bitch fit.

>>690354006
try and suck the scout leaders dick or whoever is in charge, bonus points if you secretly film it then extort them for cash.

A week? Jesus Christ, dude (hehe, see what I did there?), just tough it out. Be the best damn good little Christian boy you can be. Stop being so edgy around your parents. Do your chores. Say please and thank you. Get good grades. Then you can do whatever you want.

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>>690354777
Trips don't lie. Do it OP!

>inb4 op was sent to camp for being a massive fag.

>>690354777
>>690355000
Do it both.

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>>690354006
>OP's being sent to a pray the gay away bootcamp

>>690367479
You're just paraphrasing my lines like a parrot. That how they teach you to socialize at fat camp?

>>690364111
>>690363787
Your argument is invalid. He got Trips.

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>>690354006
>My mom
underage

Scream allahu akbar! Hitler did nothing wrong.

Throw rocks at people

And scream AAAAAAAAANIIIIIIIIMAAAAAAAAAAA all night

>>690354886
I dont think youd be saying that if you went to one of these. They make you feel like your very thoughts are immoral and that you have to believe everything they say or your a bad person. But your a big strong macho man right? Go back to masturbating to tranny porn, your wasting your time here.

>>690371385
Being 12 in 2016 must be great

>>690371227
>You're just paraphrasing my lines like a parrot.
>>But that's you

It doesn't take half a brain to call out a 3rd grade tier "comeback" lol. I wouldn't know what they teach at fat camp. If they do teach socialization skills, maybe you should check it out. Maybe everyone you speak to wouldn't want you to choke to death on cocks anymore. Maybe.

>>690354006
fuck all the bitches