if i told you it wouldn't be a secret

I have raped two women, once when I was 16 and again at 23.

I might do it again, who knows what life brings you.

One time I didn't say bless you when someone sneezed.

>>690196590
You cheeky cunt

>>690196664
Sick fuck. I bet you have sex in the missionary position.

Had sex with a newly13 year old. was pretty good bois

I maintain a facade of being a normie by coming onto 4chan during the summer and venting my autism in the form of false reddit and 9gag trolling.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=gMUEFZXkmDA

>>690196862
How old were you?

>>690196967
>not posting the best version

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fq3abPnEEGE

>>690196417
I fucked my first cousin in the dark after i found out she drunkenly thought I was someone else.

File: C__Data_Users_DefApps_AppData_INTERNETEXPLORER_Temp_Saved Images_6c29b9bd7c41ca6002481de72f85072e.jpg (36 KB, 680x578) Image search: [Google]

36 KB, 680x578

I watched my dad have a heart attack in his sleep when I was 13. He was a workaholic/alcoholic who liked to drag me outside by the collar and threaten to end me so when it happened I just let it. Didn't tell anyone.

My parents were divorced so the next day I woke up and called 911. Whole nine yards.

Everyone thinks I slept through the attack.

>>690197279
Dude...

I have a voice in my head I like to talk to and she even has her own personality.

>>690196967
that game was trying way too hard>>690197039
16

File: 1453445664201.jpg (17 KB, 277x283) Image search: [Google]

17 KB, 277x283

>>690197279
>>690197279
>>690197279
>>690197279
>>690197279
Dude...

>>690197279
This sounds like it really happened. Do you regret not doing anything?

>>690197279
Woah man that's fucked, do you regret it or whatever?

>>690197366
Story any good?

>>690197505
>>690197507

I'm 26 now and looking back I probably would have done something but when you're an edgy/angsty 13-year-old and your dad is a bastard you kind of don't think ahead.

Then again he probably would have died anyway. Literally worked days and weekends, smoked and drank nonstop, was a rageaholic. Died before he hit 50. What could have stopped it?

>>690196417
>>690196862

No you didn't.

Im a 30 year old doctor from a respectable medical school that really wants to fuck one of my 18 year old patients

also im exactly this >>690196871 except i do it all year round

>>690197588
oh god dated for 7 months, so immature couldn't believe my eyes. broke up cause never texted her back to busy playin games and tired of drama, she cut communication off and was then regretted it shortly after, loved her a lot. fucked me up for good 3+ years. her dad shot himself, her mom goes to dive bars every weekend. shes a solid 8/10 now. my motivation to work out every weekend. she is now dating the son of the father who owns a multi million dollar food company and funds his racing hobby. wont name company you might know it, its a food company.

>>690197195
I'll elaborate a little. I invited her to a party and we all got completely wasted. I've always wanted to fuck her, but I could never come up with the courage to do anything. She got way too drunk and needed to lay down in my buddies room. A couple hours later he's like " Alright I'm going to bed." Out of an honest feeling of protection I told him no way. He had ten years on her and I knew she'd probably fuck him if he went in there. So I went in with the intention of just sleeping next to her and not doing anything. We had done shit like that before, so it wasn't a big deal. Cont?

>>690198008
every week' not weekend

>>690198102
Yes

>>690196600
How did you rape a women at 16. You're weak faggot that would whine after lifting anything heavier than a playgirl journal.

Got the head of my dick sucked by a 3 month old. Good shit. Tried a 1 month but all I got was my foreskin suckled.

>>690196417
Why did you use SLJ's yearbook photo for this thread?

>>690196417
Wait a fucking second...

is that samuel Jackson? from that movie Deep Blue Sea?

>>690198452
The ones with the giant squids.

>>690198579
NO, that one rapper nignog was in it and climbed into an oven to escape the shark

I get hard 99% of the time when I see a video of dogs humping women.

>>690198102
So the room is completely dark, I'm fucking hammered, laying there next to her fully clothed. Shes apparently knocked the fuck out. Drunken thoughts start coming into my head. Shes so hot and I just want to touch her. I think shes blacked out and she wont notice if I just cop a feel, thats all. So I start grabbing her ass. Then i get a little more bold and reach over her bra and grab a tit. My dick was so hard, but there was still a small voice saying dont go any further. Then she woke up. I practically died, i ripped my hands off of her about to shit myself. Then she leans over, starts feeling for my face and kisses me. She tasted like vomit, but I was so stunned I didnt give a fuck.

File: ff9dc100-9f54-0132-44ec-0ebc4eccb42f.gif (876 KB, 500x250) Image search: [Google]

876 KB, 500x250

>>690196417
I'm gonna try being bi, because i keep getting hit on by gay men irl. Maybe Im actually gay and just dont know it because Ive never tried. Or I dont know.... On the other side my sexual fantasies are always of domination over the female type. I dont know man, im so fucking confused

File: [Twotgirls] Korra Del Rio, Casey Sparkles - Online Friends Meet to Fuck (16 Jun 2016) 1080p rq_0000757391.jpg (138 KB, 1920x1088) Image search: [Google]

138 KB, 1920x1088

Just whacked off

>>690198452

>Samuel L. Jackson

ever notice how the "L" is always included when you spell his name, but never pronounced when you say it? It's bizarre. I get that it rolls off the tongue better, but then why write the L in the first place?

i lost my virginity at 28 but i lied to everyone, friends, family etc that i lost it since i was 16 cause i was really embaresed...and i lost it with a prostitude, i am currenly 33 and i had sex for the third time this past week with my current girlfriend and it was awesome

File: 1464341801265s.jpg (3 KB, 125x125) Image search: [Google]

3 KB, 125x125

>>690196417
although shit secret, I jerked it to a german chick getting fucked by a dog.

>>690197279
Holy shit this is actually a belivue story on b outside of a feels thread...

File: images.jpg (9 KB, 203x248) Image search: [Google]

9 KB, 203x248

I'm an officially ordained Dudeist Minister.

>>690199021
your right you know

I kind of raped a male friend when I was like 7 or 8.

>>690196417
I am actually Killroy

>>690196417
>Everyone has them. Almost no one shares.
psst! let me tell you a secret: that's why they're secrets, dipshit.

File: ADGIF - Copy - Copy - Copy (3).webm (1 MB, 1074x576) Image search: [Google]

1 MB, 1074x576

I rubbed my brothers toothbrush all over my butthole for like 5 years until I moved out.

ADDY IN IMAGE!!

Movies with Chat 24/7 MOSTLY HORROR with some Sci-fi/Gore/Cult/80s/Weird Films

Now Playing: RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD

This movie channel doesn't play everything under the sun. You won't have to sit through pablum like Avengers 2 or Batman movies. There are no cartoons, no musicals, no music videos, no TV shows... just movies. Specifically, It's mostly horror movies. Tons of stuff you have never heard of or seen. There are some sci-fi movies, 80s movies, cult movies, and just bizarre off the wall crazy shit like you have never seen, all mixed in to the horror movies. Over 700 movies that play randomly. None of that polling/voteskip shit, that shit doesn't work - because democracy doesn't work. No safe spaces here either. You can make rape jokes and insult minorities until you run out of racially charged things to say if you want. The admins only police things that actually matter. Filmclub isn't here to have broad appeal or as many viewers as possible. It's here as an alternative to all the tired repetitive BS you get from the average stream. 24/7/365 movies most other streams won't play. Even classic XXX. Check it out.

ADDY IN IMAGE!!!

>>690199089
Ditto

File: 1442215433858.gif (2 MB, 295x218) Image search: [Google]

2 MB, 295x218

>>690196417
Your secret is that you're Samuel L. Jackson...?

>>690197349
Any details anon?

>Stick dick into food
>Give it to dog
>Felt...ok ?

>>690199287
Rejoice brother. Praise to the latter day dude.

File: gRqI0.jpg (133 KB, 1280x960) Image search: [Google]

133 KB, 1280x960

fuck it
>be me
>8-10
>dont fuckin remember
>have friend
>also 8-10
>we used to take our shirts off
>no ac
>living in trailer park
>summer
>h o t
>in room just me and him
>idk where the fuck my parents were
>we got into our underwear
>eventually completeley naked
>dare eachother to lick eachothers buttholes
>this is probably why im bi

My wife operates a daycare out of our house, and we often get kids staying for days at a time because reasons, and I often cum on their faces and bodies while they sleep at night.

WHen i was like 7 i stuck a pencil up a cats ass

Wasn't like full on... cat jumped ran off, made a noise

>>690199412
Venerate the Dude-Emperor.

>>690197767
What could have stopped it? I don't know, how about calling an ambulance?!

>federal witness protection

this is one of the few sites they let me use.
been missing for 7 fucking years indoors
living vicariously thru /out/
fml

>>690198008
hormel

>>690199570
The Dude abides always

>>690199206

And this causes people to say "Sam-you-elle", instead of "Samuel"

The pronunciation of his first name changes and nobody notices

I swear this guy is fucking with us

>>690196600
How was it?

>>690199759

Maybe if they were down the street. Nearest town was 25 miles away.

it used to just be "I put my nose to the grindstone and keep it there" but i've kinda been in a slump as of late, anyone else feel the same?

wat the fuck

>>690196600
Thats a federal Misdemeanor

>>690199845
Hell yeah!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDqP7kcr-sc

I jerk off in my cousins used underwear

Have been for years different ones each time


Also jerk off anytime I go to a new house i feel a sense of satisfaction Cumming on a flpot I've never been on

>>690200000
>>690199999

File: 1464062312978.jpg (163 KB, 439x454) Image search: [Google]

163 KB, 439x454

I'm dating a girl just bcs she has money

>>690197895
Second women I raped was a co-worker of mine. She had a second job at a gym that was near my house. I was coming home from work to the wife at 2 and I saw her tossing trash into a dumpster at other job. She went back inside and I pulled a u turn and parked in front of a shop a few doors down, got out and lit a cig. after a few minutes she came back out with another load of trash and that's when it was show time. The streestreetlights out and an industrial ac unit in the alley it was easy to walk up on her. After she tossed the gargabe in the dumpster she pulled out her phone, that's when i grabbed her by the hair and smashfucked her face into the side of the dumpster. She went pretty limp but I held up pulled her ass out to me. My coworker has a great ass, she's worked at this gym for a long time and could do some squats. I pulled down her leggings keeping her faced the other way and hotdogged her until I was hard. So far she'd been real quite, and I didn't have a condom so I wasn't about to creampie her. So I dipped my knob into her pussy and got a bit more wet than I was expecting. I pulled her cheek apart and pushed my head against her asshole. That's when she started whimppering and started to struggle. I kept her in place and tried to sheath my sword as hard as I could but missed and bent my dick pretty hard. I eased in her a bit before I started fucking her, shed gotten quiet again. It was fucking raw and unco.fortabke but fuck it After I came in her I let go of her hair and before she could look I grabbed her by the waist and flipped her into the dumpster which I locked. After that I went home, showed, played vidyahs with my wife and slept well.

She didn't show up for work for about a week saying she was sick. When she did come back she had a bruise on her cheek and I saw she had pepper spray on her key chain. Later that week we practiced shooting people in the face with it on soda cans.

I dont have any friends
Not real friends that i can hangout with and depend on
So i made up a personality that i talk to when im alone

>>690197767
Is/was your life better after he died?

>>690199802

Care to share? Sounds like a pretty good and interesting story.

>>690198282
>>690199918
First one was just as easy as the second. Got away Scott free both times. Was kinda wanting a third.

>>690200200
Great story haha

I've always wondered what it was like to rape someone

That emotion you would feel before during and after


What you would do after the incident if it would eat at you or you just go on like it was nothing


The fact that you worked with her was a bounce


ANY other crazy stories?

>>690199860
Insight

As somebody who says Sam-you-ell, i can say I'm definitely attempting to say Samuel L. It becomes awkward if you put to much effort into pronouncing everything, IMO.

Tl;dr I'm pretty sure Sam-you-ell is just a half assedd attempt at actually saying the L

I've jerked off almost every place I've spent considerable time at and had sex in a few strange places as well. Some notable locations are below.

• Middle school bathroom
• Middle school library
• High school bathroom
• High school behind bleachers during gym class
• High school closet
• High school stairwell
• High school auditorium during assembly
• High school drama classroom
• Work cubicle
• Work bathroom
• Work office
• Bosses office
• Many different bathrooms of many friends
• Friends grandmas chair
• Friends car
• Many friends bedrooms
• Many vehicles

In certain situations there were people as near as five feet. One time was even while watching a movie with my two little brothers. I now have a lot of alone time so I don't have to jerk off outside of my own home too often anymore. Some of my fondest memories of jerking off were spent peeping at my brothers' ex girlfriends through a hole in my bathroom door when I was about 18. God, that was good. I actually had sex with them both. I couldn't help myself. My brother always dated really slutty gangster Latina girls and I couldn't resist. They'd break up with him and get drunk and I'd fuck them 20 feet from him in my room. He told me once he knew and the second girl of his I fucked told me that he said I fucked the last one but I never admitted it. I made out with one his exes mom's too. Tried to fuck one of my exes mom one night. Fucked one exes little sister as soon as she turned 18. I think she was waiting for it too, because the first time I got drunk around legal her she spent the night chatting me up. I think I'm a sex addict. I'm not claiming all of the women I've done stuff with were attractive but a handful were. I'm pretty charismatic and it's easy for me to flirt and when I get drunk I'll fuck near any woman. I jerk off 5-6 times a day and fuck my married ex and my friends ex.

>>690200673
The rush is insane, I've been in combat but it doesn't compare.

I've stolen about 3 grand from bride/bridesmaids from a wedding.

>>690200699

I didn't think about a few locations and ran out of characters. Add 3 parks, 1 zoo, the drive in theatre, the normal walk in theatre, 4 bar bathrooms, 1 bar booth, 1 time in a cow field, 1 time on a steamroller, once on the side of the road near a middle school (was a summer night with an of age woman)

>>690200200
not even joking if i knew you in real life....
10/10 would put you in a wheel chair for the rest of your life

>>690200699
I think you might be a sex addict

>>690201189
Woo nelly

File: FAP.jpg (4 KB, 225x225) Image search: [Google]

4 KB, 225x225

>Be me, 16
>masturbate with pic related thing cause fapping with your hand is too hard
>extra religious 9/10 girl next to me, cause family friends and shit
>I just came while looking at her boobs, being 2 feet away from her, and she still didn't notice a thing
>was a pain to clean myself

File: 1465792056646.jpg (419 KB, 2720x2040) Image search: [Google]

419 KB, 2720x2040

>>690201398
>yfw nobody notices you

I fucked my best friend at the time's ex who he was still madly in love with many, many times. I fucked her once while he was texting her trying to get her back. If he knew, he might literally try to kill me.

Fortunately, even if he did, he's a little beta manlet and I'd just stomp his ass.

>>690201398

It's exciting, isn't it? The thought that you can get caught at any time. I remember thinking that while jerking off behind the bleachers watching the volleyball team practice in high school.

>>690196417
I desire a police state

>>690201628
Daaaamn
>>690201635
Yea, you can easily get hooked to this thing

>>690200088
Haha thanks brother.

>>690200200

thats fucked up, and I hate women and love rape porn

How do you actually do that shit and feel okay with yourself? I want to try my best to sympathize with whatever motivation you have

I've had sex with my current girlfriends mom multiple times now and feel guilty after every time but it's fucking awesome. Trying to stop but she's the antagonizer and I can't turn down pussy

>>690202042
>hate women
why

>>690201189
Alright I'll tell you the first one too. I was at school after-hours with my girlfriend, some battle of the bands type shit. I went out to the car for a smoke. After a few minutes this girl came out balling her eyes out. Skirt, boots, bobi cut, my type of thing. She walked over to a car adjacent to mine and tried to open the door but it was locked. She squatted down and was crying so I made my move, walked up behind her, put my arm around her neck and pushed her face down on the ground. I kept her oinned and whipped out my wallet condom and wrapped up my Jimmy, by then I was already diamonds. I fucked her on the ground and between two cars for what felt like forever. After I came I pulled her by her hair to the edge of the parking lot and pushed her into a dich. Never ran as fast as I did back to the gym. I went to the bathroom, flushed the condom, then went back to the show.>>690201227

>>690202189
how old r u?

>>690196417
My knees buckle upon climax. It is unavoidable now i cant stand while cumming its impossible i always fall its rather annoying.

>>690198927
As long as it doesn't make you feel uncomfortable as hell you shouldn't think too much of it. As you said, you might just have to try and when you see that a gay man touching you is not what you want at all, then you're not a faggot.

>>690202042
I felt bad for a while but I've never felt so alive. It's not like I plan to go out and rape someone, it's a spur of the moment thing.

>>690202267

several reasons, i just hate them as a concept

i dont hate any particular woman though, except for a couple i know that seem to embody that concept that i hate so much

>>690202521
>spur of the moment
kek, thats why I kill people too, I just get that feelin u know. gotta walk in a club and start unloading

>>690196808
What a slut

>>690202521

interesting. Are you a guy that would have alot to lose if you were caught as a rapist? Like that Stanford kid?

>>690199089
>>690199287
Make it 3

Almost cheated gf with bestfriend. The boobs are a trap, they look good, they feel good, but they'll get you in alot of trouble.

>>690199802
FBI confirmed for monitoring /b/. Why else would they allow witness protection faggots on here?

>>690199992

been "working only when my budget needs it" for almost 3 years now, tbqh haven't been sober enough to fix this problem for just as long

I suck, get out of that rut and make something of yourself

>>690202934
Cause FBI are faggots

>>690202521

Dude...I'm the sex addict guy and I've never raped anyone. Next time you get the urge just try to fuck them the right way. Get drunk and hit on them, get turned down, and fuck their less hot friend instead. Works like a charm. I empathize though, I mean I jerk off so fucking much it's not like I don't get similar strong urges.

sometimes i go on chaturbate or omegle and bounce on a dildo

>>690202783
I have a wife and son. Going to work at a good company and I'm still going to school, so yeah I have a lot to lose.

Guys, can you keep a secret?

>>690200200
No one saw these digits?

>>690202355
I'm 19 and my girlfriends 17. Been dating her for two years but shit with her mom just started recently, like 2-3 months ago. Relationship is turning to shit but I'm in deep, details on her mom are good though

>mom used to get beaten up by my father
>everytime i tried to step in he would beat me up also
>one day she was fired for not going to work because her face was a fucking mess
>my dad tried to beat her again because he thought it was her falt
>tried to figure out a way of kiling him with poison cause i'm a pussy
>my mom found out and kicked me out of the house, saying it's for my protection

6 months later, i'm living with my grandma

>dad died
>mom doesn't look very sad
>suddenly mom knows a lot of stuff about chemistry

5 years later

>mom dies from lung cancer, she was a smoker since she was 12
>the house is mine, i'm 23 (25 now)
>goes thru her stuff cause i wanted to sell her jewery
>finds suicide letter saying SHE DID IT
>Grandma always knew it

she didn't killed herself after but fuck i'm glad she fuckin did it. She lived a very happy and cheerful life after my fucking asshole father died.

>>690203119
Where's the fun in that? Already done that plenty of times and still do that with my wife.

I lie to everyone I know and haven't been able to fully trust anyone. Even my parents.

>>690203155

I'm kind of torn between thinking of you as this fucked up sociopath and you as this normal guy that has a rape fetish and is just bold enough to act on it.

i'd say its split 70/30, majority evil

>>690202503
that's some good advice. didn't see that coming from here.

>>690197404
fuck that idiot

>>690196417
I have a few:

1. I hate niggers... I always have and I hate having to pretend to NOT be racist when I am in fact VERY racist. While I am racist, I have this WEIRD deep down sick fucking faggot thought process that makes me want to be dominated by niggers and even put down for being white. It ANGERS me that I this sick lust within me. I feel like it's justified due to how much I actually HATE niggers. Like if I let them dominate me, it makes up for how racist I am.

2. I have hate towards faggots, but if I am being honest I think it's BECAUSE of the bi-thoughts that have plagued me since I was a young teen. I've only ever been with women, but I fantasize about sucking cock.

3. I have a deep anger towards women because I have been fucked over by them my ENTIRE goddamn life. Women have done nothing but belittle me, put me down, cheat on me, lie to me, use me, and replace me with someone else when they tire of me. I love pussy, I am OBSESSED with tits, but at the same time... I hate women!!! Their sense of entitlement.. their OVERLY smart mouth fucking opinions about EVERY goddamn thing.. they are always so combative, argumentative, and ALWAYS have to be right!! Most are so stuck on themselves, thinking their pussy is made of fucking gold... when in reality their pussy isn't worth shit because so many men have had it!! Most women are whores, very few are ever honest about ANYTHING. I have a love/hate thing with women... yet I am a glutton for punishment.. I keep coming back every time.. and NEVER learn my fucking lesson.

4. I hate my life... I do nothing but exist day after day in a situation that I have no power to change... and rather than an hero I just continue to exist in my shithole of a life. I'm terrified of death, yet I hate life.... I have been clinically depressed since the 4th grade.. and I am now 37 years old... so that tells you how long I have hated my life. It's just gotten worse the older I get.

File: michael-jackson-mugshot.jpg (94 KB, 618x867) Image search: [Google]

94 KB, 618x867

I was born black

I'm a closeted racist with a black gf
I love my gf but I'd gas every other black

>>690196417
nigger

File: 1456341987026.jpg (71 KB, 400x388) Image search: [Google]

71 KB, 400x388

Everyone thinks I'm happy.

I'm only happy when I'm around people. As soon as I'm alone I'm sad as fuck.

>>690199226
Josh? Is that you?

>>690201787

Hello FBI

File: 1465350618231.jpg (8 KB, 259x194) Image search: [Google]

8 KB, 259x194

>>690203695
Then just suck cock, and fuck women. What's the big deal?

fapped straight into a trash can / toilet literally dozens if not hundreds of times. drugs are involved

>>690204275

hate to break it to ya but if you're in an angelo state you're in one

my secret is im the devil on earth

I have only ever dated women in my life, only ever been attracted to women, only ever fucked women.... but I don't know if I am a closet faggot that is so far in denial that I just can't accept reality, or if I am bi-curious or what... but I think about cock 24 hours a day.. the thing is.. I am not attracted to men even a little bit. Masculinity turns me off. I could never cuddle with a guy or be romantic with a guy in anyway but I think about sucking cock all the fucking time. And it seems the HORNIER I get? The more gay my thoughts get.. like I start thinking about being fucked in the ass, and used by men. I think about them humiliating me and putting me down and being their fucktoy. I can't be gay though because i'm NOT attracted to men. I think the internet as ruined me.....

didnt wipe my ass for months when i was maybe 4 or 5 years old. i forget exactly. all i know was i didnt like looking at poopy toilet paper so i'd just clench my ass cheeks tight after a shit, pull up my pants and then have a shitty asshole for the rest of the day

my mom found shitty underwear frequently in my hamper and threatened to take me to the doctor, dunno what the fuck that would have done but i guess i was scared of the doctor so i started wiping my ass again

also basically from the ages of 6 on i've fucked my bed on a nightly basis. i had my first boner and pseudo-masterbation after i woke up from a dream where i was rubbing my dick on snow white from the disney movie. and, well, i woke up humping my bed in reality. i didnt know what the fuck i was doing for years until i figured out jacking off proper. but yeah, even with the convenience of cock in hand, i would still just fuck my blankets and pillows. this was always to completion mind you, cumming in pants every night... basically every day until my late teens when i started jacking off like a normal person

i still hump my bed occasionally, but not very often

>>690204472

oh yeah and im 28 now LOL

>>690204343
Honestly? I don't know any guys I would trust enough to do that with. STD's are fucking dangerous these days... that, and who can you REALLY trust anymore? I have the fantasy of sucking cock, but I doubt i'll ever act on it due to fear. I always wished I had like a bi friend and he could come over when my girlfriend was at work and I could blow him. That way I get both of my needs met, but the reality of that ever happening is slim to none.

>>690204407

Cops answer to people, too

>>690204411
Bullshit. If you're the real Devil... what is my name and how old am I? The Devil would know the answer to that question..........

>>690204399

dozen if not hundreds you say???

i will shoot my load into my waste paper basket 100 times in less than a month

I was molested when I was younger by someone of the same sex and I think I might be partially lesbian because although I was like 6 I enjoyed it

>>690199802
Are you Michael Jackson?

>>690204680
Nice try Dan Schneider, we know you're everywhere.

>>690200699

I do the same thing. When ever I visit a new place, I find my self a corner to jerk off. Strangest place to jerk of was in a car with my friend and his family. It was the slowest fap I've ever done but so intense.

>>690196417
Alright full truth time, Im 21 now but when I was 15, Working at a dairy farm. One night I had smoked like 8 bowls before I came to work and straight up fucked a cow at like 11 at night then finished work. LMFAO

>>690204472
If you actually managed to lose your virginity I bet you wondered about how hard it was to come, you could basically fuck for hours right?

fun side effect of fucking your pillow for years on end you little turd

>>690204642

>NSA, ACTA, the recent EU """"hate speech"""" censorship are all shadows of your cognitive dissonance

push black holes through your bitch ass decor

I have a technical job where I interact with actual aliens from other planets on a daily basis. I have a sweet deal with the government and all I have to do is keep my mouth shut and I get lots of money for easy work and great job security.

>>690205183
>had

File: 1465682403061.webm (2 MB, 480x852) Image search: [Google]

2 MB, 480x852

I befriend traps on the Internet and buy them clothes and toys in exchange for pics and vids, this is the closest thing I've had to a relationship with someone. I'm 36.

>>690205183
Your life isn't that exciting. Shut the fuck up, basement dweller. Aliens aren't real, and even if by some loophole your story has any truth to it? They'd never let you on a website like this. Kill yourself, you fucking lying sack of shit.

my friend and i sucked each other off in middle school.

>>690204680
Im the Devil, not a magician. I cant know your name or your age if I never met you.
The only thing I can tell to you is to be cool with all people you know and help all bro ans sis who need it

Me and like 10 friends were trying a ouija board for the first time, and I moved the pointer to spell my friends name. He was so terrified but I never told him

I've only ever dated women but I fucked a guy in the ass when I was in my young 20's. Never done another gay thing like that in my life ever since. I'm in my late 30's now. No one that knows me knows I did that.

>>690204975
Shit nigga...

my father got my pregnant once.

>no breasts, sorry. you always ask for more. always.

>>690205277
>>690205343

its no big deal, I did the same thing last year and nobody noticed. The government is pretty incompetent

>my life
>exciting

My job is to deliver food to their rooms/enclosures or whatever. It was exciting for like 2 days honestly

>>690205699

really that's quite normal with millennials

RIP with the fact that earlier generations are gayer than you

>>690204428
I feel the same about everything you wrote
Except for the being a fucktoy part

File: captain bobby.jpg (143 KB, 1080x1080) Image search: [Google]

143 KB, 1080x1080

i enjoy watching tv

>>690205508
The Devil has the power of God. He knows all of mankind. So I don't buy your story, but I will humor you out of sheer boredom.

What's the deal with you and God? I get that you hate mankind, and God asked you to love us more than you love him and you refused so he cast you out of Heaven.. and it's been a giant childish game of chess ever since... you both vying for souls... What's the fucking point? You corrupt mankind, we go to Hell when we die, you torture us for the rest of eternity... While the "good ones" go to Heaven and have everlasting bliss for all time. But why? What's the point of that stupid shit? I never did understand the point of that. Care to elaborate?

I used to masturbate to MLP porn and claimed Twilight Sparkle as my waifu. I then realized I was an autistic fuck and nearly killed myself.

>>690206050
you are everything that is fucking wrong with the world.

Next you will tell us that you are voting for Hillary

i really like my best mates sister. want to get together with her, and always think about her.

I once got a super cute, little dancer bodied blonde, blue eyed 7 year old girl to jerk me off.

She was my neighbors daughter, I was 23, her mom had kind of a crush on me, she was always flirtatious with me, anyway.
It was on a really hot Saturday in July 2011, her kid Alondra "Londie" was hovering around like she always does while I was cleaning my Python enclosure (no pun intended) she was wearing little dance girl booty shorts, she kept bending down to help me and I saw those smooth glistening little butt cheeks peekin out from under her shorts, I asked her to come for a walk to the dried Crerk bed behind the house. I had a plan, she always wears such skimpy stuff (Arizone heat) I always jacked it to her Dance studio (YouTube dance studio111) but my lust pent up and I hatched a plan. We went on down to the creek, I was shirtless and being a jock and at the time I worked out every day almost, I was shredded, so I pretended to have to go take a piss.
I then screamed and told her a bee stung my private, I had a dead bee in my hand, I then began to act worried and scared because I was allergic to bee stings and I could die, I told her my winky would swell up and Id have to rub suntan lotion to get the swelling to stop. When I pulled out my dick, the look on her face was epic, she couldn't take her eyes off my dick it was soooo fuckin awesome and my cock was rock solid from the adrenaline I was feeling, Befote I could ask her to rub it she asked if she could touch it, I grabbed her hand and wrapped it around my thick monster, I was totally naked and I know she was turned on by the wet spot in her little shorts, I'm ashamed to say I lasted maybe 3 minutes max before my cock exploded with more can than I have ever gushed before or since, I told her the bee venom had out and everything was cool. I wish I had video recorded it, fap material for years, but I have been worried shirtless ever since that she would rat, she used to smile at me a lot with a coy side -eye,

I have been fantasizing about having my best friend being my fuck buddy
We are both males and i consider myself straight but i just want the emotional intimacy that girls feel wheh they are bicurious

File: runforrestrun.jpg (65 KB, 720x540) Image search: [Google]

65 KB, 720x540

>>690206642
>>690206975
Pretty intense story, but if I was you? I'd move the fuck OUT of state. All it takes is for her to say something and your life is over. Be it from her parents killing you, or the cops arresting you and you being assfucked to death in prison. My advice?

>Pic related.

>>690206119
I dont torture any people. All people in hell are really bad and dangerous and my role is to keep them out of nice people like you and died people.

Im not bad, I will never be mad with anyone cause its not my role. God and me dont have mankind whe are not magician I repeat.
God and me, we are really good friends. thats just stupid shit you read about us, in a stupid book.

>>690203156
Spit it out faggot-kun

>>690196417
my brother converted to Judaism and I resent him for it.

I'm a guy and I'm a closest bi-sexual but I never act on the gay part. I come off as straight, I act straight, I only fuck women, but I fantasize about sucking dick and being fucked in the ass.

File: gas-yourself-kike.jpg (19 KB, 400x400) Image search: [Google]

19 KB, 400x400

>>690208041
Call him a fucking no good dirty kike to his face, then email him this picture:

>Pic related.

>>690197279
Ryan???????

>>690199021
I've never heard someone say "Samuel Jackson"

File: 1453145562748.jpg (64 KB, 1280x720) Image search: [Google]

64 KB, 1280x720

I'M GAY.

>>690196600
How did you get away with it

>>690198874
and????? you fucking idiot

File: 2653776.jpg (46 KB, 400x312) Image search: [Google]

46 KB, 400x312

I have a thing for bald guys and my friend just shaved his head.

H-hold me anons

I'm an african american film star who is well known and liked among white audiences, but I hate white people.

>>690196417
let a dude suck me off, felt shame for a couple of years, been married and 2 kids since, divorced new girlfriend is beautiful and a fire cracker in bed, no homo

File: large.jpg (23 KB, 450x635) Image search: [Google]

23 KB, 450x635

>>690207486
Im an animal, just an animal you never see on heart, I have to hide my self by transformation. But I give you this pic of my original form, Im the one in the mirror. Thats the only pic of me on web. I do that cause I need money for food. Im the devil but I have to eat everyday like you.

>>690209023
>>690199021
>>690208386
!!!

File: anne frank.jpg (61 KB, 807x1024) Image search: [Google]

61 KB, 807x1024

I have a fantasy that I am a nazi officer in Belsen, I shoot Anne Frank right between her pretty little eyes.
I would visit her decaying body everyday on the other side of the fence.
I'd love watching the maggots feast on her perky budding breasts.

File: fuck-you-nigger.jpg (38 KB, 600x600) Image search: [Google]

38 KB, 600x600

>>690209023
It's ok, we hate you too, nigger.

File: ihateniggers-sign.jpg (39 KB, 1000x1000) Image search: [Google]

39 KB, 1000x1000

>>690196417
I'm a closet racist. I hate niggers with a passion. But I pretend to tolerate them. It's exhausting... Every nigger I see in public.. I INSTANTLY look at them and think to myself "Fuck you, nigger".. but I never say a word. I would come out openly and admit it, but if you dare speak badly against a black, it makes world news and your life is over... Look at people like Paula Dean and Hulk Hogan. You make ONE tiny remark.. and BAM!!! Your life is fucked... so it's just not worth it.. so I remain a closet racist.

>>690209182
>b
>detroit of 4chan

>>690204059
Holy shit my life

File: 1444832139524.gif (879 KB, 245x245) Image search: [Google]

879 KB, 245x245

>>690200694
Sam-you-elle-elle-jack-sonne?

>>690205850
That's fycking hot did you abort

>>690209063
Yes homo

File: fetus.jpg (14 KB, 351x242) Image search: [Google]

14 KB, 351x242

>>690211019
no i a- ernie'd

>>690196417
I have a crush on my cousin. She's not interested. Still have feelings for her. Not sure what to do.
>inb4 rape

>>690209182
Lol

I enjoy spanking naughty girls and boys.

File: 1466190864873.jpg (7 KB, 200x200) Image search: [Google]

7 KB, 200x200

>>690200088
THESE NUMBERS

>>690211157
Lol wtf

>>690196417
ME AND MY BROS TOUCHED WEINERS ONCE, WOULDNT DO AGAIN.

>>690197349
Isn't that a tulpa?

let a male friend jerk me off when we were 15, it was fucking awful. now I'm 18 he keeps texting and asking to suck my cock, should I do it?

File: 5096191__f4a1dfd9be5ad3c245c8fc187d4bbf92.png (257 KB, 2262x1596) Image search: [Google]

257 KB, 2262x1596

>Be me 15, Jew
>Men come into my house and take me and parents to camp
>camp has awesome showers some people dont even want to go out
>Ceo of camp is really popular
>Family get to go to showers without me.. all alone
>Finally get to see the man behind the business has a baller ass moustache
>20 years later find out it was a war and not a camp for fun but for Jews like me
>Find out ceo was Hitler who only killed 6 million Jews
>Hitler did nothing wrong, just bad showers

>>690211366
Steal clothes/shoes to jerk off on? Have lunch at her house, while she's in the bathroom, dip your dick and balls in her drink? Be creative.

>>690213848
So you're the person who gave the Fuhrer only one star on Trip Advisor?

File: 1463442653616.gif (317 KB, 283x375) Image search: [Google]

317 KB, 283x375

>>690203271
Bro..

File: Yelp_1star.jpg (5 KB, 166x45) Image search: [Google]

5 KB, 166x45

>>690214619
Ya I never got chocolate on my pillow

>>690214814
At least it wasn't cyanide. The maid must've made a mistake.

>>690213848
wait you're a jew?

File: nazi_domain.jpg (54 KB, 300x347) Image search: [Google]

54 KB, 300x347

>>690214939
Ya I know but I mean at least the guards at good fashion and you know they did also take us on a free ride to the place on a nice train but it was a bit cramped and they lost my luggage

>>690215236
Lucky you had your striped PJs to keep you warm.

File: Jesuspimp+rolls+81+roll+dubs+for+sponge+bob+_379759beec5955ae16c3c044c27ecbeb.gif (219 KB, 299x198) Image search: [Google]

219 KB, 299x198

>>690211999
WAT

File: Self-Harmmale1.png (329 KB, 1000x600) Image search: [Google]

329 KB, 1000x600

>>690215085
Its ok i self harm and bleed out my Jewish blood and replace it with trumps blood type

>>690197279
Good for you anon. He might have been your father but he was also abusive and those people don't deserve to be on this planet. I hope your life got better after that and I hope you heal.

I was raped by my sister when i was a little kid, for a coupe of years. I've developed a lot of.. weird thoughts, i had incestous wishes for years, i raped my cousin who's disabled, i "touched" my grandmother, i "touched" my sister in her sleep and got caight, i got caught a couple of months ago spying on my mom. I feel like the worst person in the world, i've tried to kill myself why, but i've never told anybody about this, specially about my cousin and grandmother. I'm just 18, and i have done all that, i've been trying to convince myself that i can leave all that behind, that i'm too young, that it was my sister fault but i can come up after that. I'm a virgin, i have no friends, i'm really awkward and sometimes i have fear of what i could do if i just lose control like i've done all the time. I used to masturbate excessively. I once made my dog lick my dick, i drink since i'm like 14 or 15 every day or 2 days. I'm afraid and ashamed to get help, to say what happened when i was aa kid, but what i've done haunts me. I've done shit worse than a ot of criminals while i was just a kid. I try and try to get better but i just can't forget about all i've done previously. Can i possibly overcome this without other's people help?

>>690196600
Found the nigger

>>690213652
Why not?

File: 23t32g6-jpg.jpg (37 KB, 628x330) Image search: [Google]

37 KB, 628x330

>>690215465
Ya and it was right next to a forest so it was really beautiful. And they even had special badges that we got to wear

I shot a man in Reno.

I was born with Spina Bifida and basically hate everything because of it

File: 1466044453886.jpg (11 KB, 284x284) Image search: [Google]

11 KB, 284x284

>>690215511
Anybody seeing this?

My secret is that i want to torture people. I have tortured a duck once when i was 12 but the rush wasnt that great. Me torturing a real human would probably feel great.

>>690196417
I left my wallet in El Segundo.

File: image.jpg (15 KB, 200x195) Image search: [Google]

15 KB, 200x195

>>690198307
Story? This is some sick shit. Implying not b8.

>>690202906
Trouble is right. Been banging my gfs best friend for 3 years. Was supposed to leave me gf for her 6 months ago but bottled it. Now gf pregnant with a kid I don't want and I suspect her friend has been seeing someone else and lying about it. Meeting her this afternoon for some answers. Love her like crazy but there's too much happened and I fucked up. Big time.

>>690197279
damn man thats tough beyond tough

I vape

Years ago, my dad was a part of MC. One day, over a drug dispute, he and a few other guys arranged for this one guy to be killed. It was set up so that he would be in my yard when it happened. He was killed, it was covered up, my dad died a few years later, and the dude who killed him has recently been arrested for another murder. so, karma?

>>690218315
gary

>>690203695
You sound like me 3-5 years ago before I got on medication. Do you have any diagnosis?

>>690215847
Possible but it would be really hard to.

I believe that the retarded and people with debilitating genetic deseases should be sterilized. Autism gone, depression/anxitiy gone. Countless disorders gone if people with them would quit fucking. This includes myself btw. Depression anxiety here, my dad had it and it drove him to alcholoism. If i were a parent and watched me grow up I would blame myself for cursing a poor child to grow up bound to his room by his own disorder.

>>690200200
toplel

you anon are a true actor and i really belive we need more of you in the world

>>690199434
moar

>>690196417
Once a 21 year old man and his son were beating up my 13 year old buddy.
They both got brain damage because i chose to slam their heads against the ground once they were both down.
They speak like Walter Jr now.
And i don't feel any guilt, even today.

>>690218763
are you retarded? that's not how this works.