Stopped at a pedestrian lane.

>>690172521
Posting on this thread

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Drove 36Mph in a 35Mph zone, i know complete madman amiright?

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Trying to make this a meme

>>690172879
How dare u

Trespassing.

>>690172996
trespassing where ?

>>690172521
Raped your mother to conceive you

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>>690172942
This niggas messed with the wrong motherfucker

When I was 10 I played Disney Channel online without a parent's permission

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>>690172521

Stole $850 worth of fireworks from a stand at night with them sleeping in it.

>>690173068
Abandoned mental hospital.

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>>690172521
weed out the stupid

god speed

Broke into a house.

>>690172521
Driving while heavily intoxicated

>>690172521
why has this stupid picture became so famous all of sudden?

Stolded a lots of ROBOTUSSIN

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>>690173235
Fucking kek. Good job, anon!

Stole a bottle of poweraid

Transported an oz of shatter across multiple state lines

>>690172521
I play illegally downloaded games on an emulator

poured a bunch of soap and salt into my ex-roomies milk, and pissed on their toothbrushes

murder

Bought a Class 2 drug illegally

>>690173257
Any story?

I snuck into a concert once and a dealer was asking my friend if he wanted to buy some ecstasy. So I snuck up behind him and took his bum bag and fucking booked it out of the concert because it was shitty anyway. I don't know drugs well but i'm pretty sure I had over $500 worth of drugs in there. Plus the money he already made.

Attempted murder. Multiple counts, actually. When I was in primary school, I used to take my fights too far. Like one time, I was sitting on the guy's chest and choking him.
Another time, I had a boy up against the fence and wouldn't stop punching his skull. He had a concussion, but didn't need to go to the hospital.

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>>690174148
I actually did the latter part once to someone I didn't like.
I rubbed the bristles all over my sweaty nuts, then I picked the pubes out to not be noticeable, and pee'd on the bristles after.
Then to top off the situation, I pissed in their mouthwash as well.
Glad to see I'm not the only one to have done that to someone.

>be me
>vacation in ohio (my family lives there, because who vacations in ohio?)
>be 13
>go with aunt to some generic ass store
>see precious riinngsss
>pop pop pop (sound of the rings snapping the wires that connected them to the pillow thing)
>just stole 3 rings, feel like a fucking heist master badass

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Getaway driver for a robbery.

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>>690174678

>>690173777
MOODS MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODS

>>690173257
EDGY
D
G
Y

>>690174837
How much did you get?

I used to strangle my cat, that fits right in the animal abuse category.

>>690174837

Also drove 120mph on a freeway.

>>690175031
Fucking madman

>>690174966

Wasn't much, sadly.

>>690172521
Doing/selling Coca, aalot of Cola

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>be me, 4 years ago
>14 years old, think I'm superior because I don't own an iPod and listen to records

I realize now I was just a hipster faggot

>go to record store
>pick out 2 or 3 things
>Total comes up to $22.57
>I give the guy $22.50

I hired a hitman and killed a cyber bully over the deep web.

>>690172942
There is potential with that one sneaky white dude who is ever so slightly hidden

>>690175523
Story?

>>690174592
>elementary school badass

Once I took a dump in a public toilet and didn't flush.

>>690175523
Sure you did

Took a police officers taser

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>>690172521
I have downloaded more then 7 TB of illigal games,movies and tv shows.

Lit a couch on fire in the middle of the street
Made the 11 o'clock news

stole brothers credit card for $100 worth of tf2 cosmetics

>>690174148
Illigal not sick.

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stabbed a guy in the stomach during a fight

friends don't let friends get jumped

>>690172521
Shot up a gay club in Orlando

>>690176390
same here /b/ro, spent $150 on that stupid simspons tapped out game when they were having a sale.

>>690176461
It could be illegal if the person transmitted a disease because of the piss, but that's very unlikely.

>>690173257
Are you in Wellington?

sex in public

>>690172521
smoked weed, stolen some shit from a kmart a few years back.

>>690173257
OK randall

>>690176649
Im always glad I got out of those "free to play/pay to win" games before I had any money. I played the Hobbit and that shit was pretty addicting.

Go on the roof of my school. Explode some axe cans by puting them in a fire near a river.

>>690172521
Stealing a corpse.

I did salvia, jwh-018, weed in a huge bong with a butane torch, while I was on 25i-nBome

BAD IDEA

I did meet the friendly solar system entity though, (s?)he took me on a thrilling journey.

Apparently I was lay on the couch laughing my head off for 15 minutes

I came back to reality outside 30 minutes later puking my guts up with my girlfriend consoling me lmao.

>>690175480
Underage b&

Jesus you kids are lame. Go commit some crimes for the glory. YOLO

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>>690177082
You what

>>690175632
>be me
>talked to this guy on steam for like 8 months
>his friend sends me a message saying do you like my pic
>he put his pic to a person it was small so i thought it was him
>i clicked on his profile
>it was me
>this fucker decides to go to my facebook with his friend and stalk me and shit
>he keeps putting pics of me on his profiles on websites
>he keeps spreading them
>i dont know what i did
>literally sending chat logs to my family members of me talking about CP
>its time to stop this madness
>after days of searching i found a hitman service that had good reviews
>i remember one time he sent me his address for some fucking reason
>remember that shit
>there was a one time free thing that if the hitman was in the same country you could warn the person
>i unblocked him to make him to see if he was gonna say sorry
>he said your brother doesnt scare me
>what.jpeg
>i can stop this madness right now
>payed for the hitman
>he got killed point blank range by a silenced m1911
>his friend didn't believe me
>he got scared
>never got cyber bullied again

>>690175523
Any hitmen you find are honeypots so you're most likely lieing

>>690177229
>yolo
kys

>>690177103
Why if you had weed would you actually attempt to smoke a synthetic? That shit will literally kill you.

>>690173068
Into my anus

Back in 9th grade I went carhopping with my buddy and stole some shit like a fucking nigger.

>>690172521
i pooped in my neighbours bird bath once.

i also lied about it being once.

Went to a pizza place /bar for lunch with the gf one time. We walked in, and NO one was there. I mean not even staff. We sat down and waited for someone to come out of the kitchen for 10 min.

At the end of the 10 min we got up, reached over the bar, grabbed a bottle of jack (me) and svedka ( her) and walked right it the door with them.

>>690177216
In case you failed 2nd grade math, 14+4=18.

>>690173199
I think you win

>>690177485
mine too

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Stold from my former Employer Multiples times. I'd say Around more than $3000 in merchandise.

>>690172521
Tore the "do not remove" tag off my mattress.
?
Profit!

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>>690177216
4+4=18

>>690177522
Summerfag kek
>baited this hard

I threw a brick at a car on the highway and blamed it on my friend i got away scot free!!!

Got away with murder. A few times actually. Poison. Random targets.

>>690177629
You are the reason my local grocery store tries to put those big fucking stickers on everything...

>>690175622
kek

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>>690177268

You know those do not rip off signs that are on some mattresses, i shoved it up my ass

>>690177764
No one cares

Grabbed a girls tits without asking

One time there was a sign that read "keep off the grass" and i was like whatever your a sign what are you gonna do so I went on the grass.

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>>690177902

>>690178087
I did this once, but karma kicked in and I stepped in dog shit

>>690177629
>Around more than $3000 in merchandise
3000 worth in cash or cost for employer?

>>690177382
Basically because I was an idiot at the time surrounded by what I can only describe as "wreckheads" ... But don't worry I knew that the stuff was dangerous as hell and so used very minimal amounts (I saw a friend have a seizure from smoking a single small pipe worth of the stuff, it was packed but... the difference between having fun, being off your face worried, and having a seizure / major trip was very visible to me (not so much my friends)

I probably had about 50-100mg of the stuff (it was called atomic bomb) mixed in with the rest :)

I'm clean now though, only stuff I'll do is weed or shrooms.

Don't even drink :)

>>690178133
So far i felt my liver quiver

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>>690177872
>Reading all that shit

Who´s the bait here?

>>690174269
really?

Photoshopped better grades onto my college transcripts to get the good student discount on my car insurance

>>690172521
I HAD a collection of cp

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Downloaded and distributed loads of this shit.

>>690178752
I did it for the keks

>>690178414
>wreckheads
>atomic bomb
>:)
Underage b&. Reported.

>>690173257
Is that what your family made you believe?

>>690176591
KEK

Theft and graffiti, same day too.

>>690177268
you are so goddamned stupid. fucking go kys

>>690179355
Also, check em

>>690173463
Because it's funny?

>>690179065
Girls holding pizza? Chuckie cheese?

Why

>>690172521
When I was 17 at my first job charging people at a night club, me and the bouncer would let pass about 30 people a day hiding the tickets and made more than 2x our salary that way, for about 4 years. No one noticed except maybe my parents because I'd frequently buy shit like a new TV, a new iPhone etc.

>>690174542
nice

>>690178952
>had
you mean have

>>690178407
Worth in Cash, probably not much for the employer since it was a Big retail chain company. That's why I did it. Fucking clothes are way too overpriced

>>690179187
Nice try bad guy

>>690177268
pics or it didn't happen

>>690177232
Three friends and me stole a dead body.

>>690172521
>got really really drunk
>with my girlfriend and her lesbian sports friends
>I'm the only male and it's making me really nervous and threatening my masculinity
>see a motorbike
>they dare me to steal it
>I say no
>they call me a pussy
>fuck you skanks
>I steal the bike
>wake up the next morning and realise I'm fucked
>ring my mum and tell her I've done a really bad thing
>5 years later it's still sitting in my garage

>>690172521
Went on slash b when the government told me not to

Shoplifted some shit

>>690179865
three friends and I, you mongoloid

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>>690177268

>>690172521
accidentally stole a slushie from a convenience store
cashier was an idiot, i guess

>>690172521
Be a non trips faggot

>>690172521
Spray painted a hitler symbol on my neighbors fence

>>690180434
>hitler symbol
kek

>>690176782
wut why

>>690172521
I was born in Mexico

>>690180507
you gonna get raped.

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>>690180089

Killed myself

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>>690179525
To be honest, I use to post the real stuff on /b/ almost daily, change my IP in my router, and reposted again without any regards that I was using my real IP and didn't have a care in the world about using some proxy or vpn. The sole reason I stopped was because a few others and myself were posting what everyone wanted and no one would give back anything in return. Eventually this is why cheese pizza is no longer posted. Not because of moralfags who think they're making a difference by reporting things, it was simply out of the lack of contribution. Everyone wanted, but no one wanted to give.

This is the result and everyone is to blame, except for the contributors who were the only ones contributing. Still...there's websites that go unnoticed where it's still distributed and you don't even need to go to the deep web to find it. It's on the surface and it's not hard to find.

Sell heroin

Being black

>>690177675
go back to fucking tumblr

>>690180749
Prove it, how do i find such sites and how do i know its not the fbi trying get some pedos

I killed 50 people in a fagclub at Orlando and framed some fag towel head.

Shit was cash.

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>>690179319

Climbed a high school and vandalized the shit outa the roof.

>>690172521
I stole a slushy when I was 8.

>>690180749
Anon, take a break, your high as fuck.
You are talking about pictures with pizza as if is an illegal art

infidelity in military, gets you kicked out, of course didnt get caught, but I did get out anyways

>>690181224
On a similar note, me friend and I graffitied the main hall of my high school. Never found out it was us.

You don't know my level of highness

>>690180648
??

Doing drugs, driving on alcohol, drinking before legal age
Meh, pretty average.

>>690172521
almost beat a guy to death
sold fake weed to 15 tennagers

>>690179889
Do you drive it?

>>690181466
Is it a cover for childporn?

>>690173104
XDDDD

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>>690172521
I killed my friend accidentally negligent homicide its purdy sad story ^_^

>>690172942
Black screen with vevo in the corner?

>>690181525
>driving on alcohol
Kek

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>>690175446

I committed domestic terrorism once. Made cayyene pepper smoke bombs,dropped em at a police station

>>690180749
I'm interested in these surface level sites.

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>>690177268
If you could just stay at your current location for 25 minutes that would be great.

>>690172521
pulled the sear out of an sks and slammed out some rounds full auto well I guess it was super full auto since you could't stop it

Letsssss seeeeeee
Have ing 4 grams of drugs, four hits of other drugs, a handle of Morgan, and 700 grams of flash powder all In a car at once, getting pulled the fuck over, sharing a taco with the officer getting us a free pass, the spray paint cool shit on top of my school. Now that was a fucking night.

ran a 2way stop one time going about 50mph cuz i was feeling lucky.

>>690181743
WHAT IS HE TALKING ABOUT?>>690180749

I took my father's 2013 suped up mustang for a joy ride and hit at least 160mph

>>690173389
its a shame you didnt die.

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>>690172521
Niggas....all y'all lame...shit.
Worst I did was break into my school theater at night, stole a projector, sword, bow,map to Narnia with a buddy then proceeded to raid a mother building of if I recall 23 12 packs of coke. With some shitty small travel bottles of wine. Drank near the river and still passed my cal II test that next day

Bottle for refrence

>>690182084
Cheese pizza, isnt it obvious from the pics?

>>690177633
You sick fuck. There is no redemption for your kind.

>>690177911
second.

>>690182243
Lmfao, just needed confirmation

>>690182084
fucking summerfaggotniggershittumblrwhore

my momma always told me

Helped steal an expensive camera, apple keyboard, and an expensive microphone from our high school.
School thought camera was misplaced and bought a new one.
Keyboard and microphone went unnoticed. Still have the keyboard, but the camera we broke while fucking around and we lost the microphone.

Hit and run on a parked car in the lot of a movie theater. I was broke at the time and knew I couldn't pay their repairs so I parked on the other side of the lot and went in and saw the movie.

The car was fucked and my front right bumper was as well. When I came out of the movie there were two cops near the car and another roaming the lot. I booked it. I think about this frequently - maybe the other stranger was broke too. Could've gone to jail for a month if I was caught.

>>690182623
be careful what you do

>>690182738
don't go around breaking young girls hearts

>>690172521
Rape

I put a catheter in backwards

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>>690181743
>>690182084
papajohns dot com

>be me
>be around 11
>me, my brother, and all of our friends would walk to this old persons home about a half mile away from our home
>we just fucking stole a bunch of soda and chips, etc.
>we did this for like 6 months

>>690182950
Jesus anon
Greentext?

Hacked an underage high school girls email and Facebook. Found nude selfies in the email and posted them to her Facebook for all friends and family to see.

>>690180638
Get off our american website pls

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i got out of a DUI high on suboxone (with no tolerance, not an /opi/ fag), tripping on lsd, after throwing a bag of coke out the window when i saw the lights.
>failed field sobriety
> cuffed for a dui
>threaten to kill cop multiple times
>pass a breathilizer by 7 .points
>get sent to hospital for behavior
> L rage
> get told to piss in cup
> piss all over it, walk out naked, hand it to nurse
>take a nap in hospital
>wake up to middle aged woman
>psychologist
>berate her with disgusting assumptions of her home life and ensure her shes projecting on me.
>sleep more
>wake up, where the fuck am i.
>make a call, go home.
>case gets thrown out in court

>>690183007
Kek

>>690183007
Lol nope not searching that link. Somebody else search it and report it back to us.

>>690172521
Accidentally came across non-intercourse child porn.
Actually looked up bestiality porn.

I moved from Indiana to Colorado. I brought my guns. I have 12 30rd Mags for AR. Mag limit is like 10 or 15.
SHALL NOT BE INFRINGED.

>>690183223

It's literally the website for papa john's fucktard

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>>690180638

Watched this girl park near her apartment while I was out walking around. I lived in the same complex. She's a cute little college girl. Gets out and grabs a big box from the backseat and leaves the doors open while she walks up to her apartment on the third floor. I stroll over to the car and see her purse and phone sitting on the console. I grab the whole thing and shove it under my shirt and walk back to my apartment with it.

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>>690172521
Mine aren't that interesting, sell drugs, stole several mailboxes in my neighborhood as a kid and probly the best stole my entire neighborhoods pumpkins in October with 4 friends
> be us
> I drove a 1992 jeep Cherokee back then so plenty of room
> we would cruise the neighborhood until a pumpkin was spotted
> spotter fucking yelled "pumpkin!"
> I hit the brakes and everyone would jump out and grab a pumpkin off a porch
> eventually gathered 40-50 pumpkins
> proceed to throw them at everything in sight,
> actually break a Lexus window with two thrown out the car at the same time as I sped by
> mfw my families house was the last on the block with pumpkins

>>690183519
thx captain obvious

>>690183519
How to ruin a joke 101

Crossing the us border

>>690183113
Listen nigger, I'm already breaking the law. You want your face to be next?

>>690181004
sorry tumblr hosts images?

get over yourself

>>690183607
No señor, le construyó otra torre?
Deme trabajo, mis hijos quieren comer.

>>690183851
Whoa take it easy internet tough guy

>>690181057
There's nothing I can tell you to convince you there was nothing to ever be paranoid about. So, better if I don't say and make you think, rather than risk getting one of my precious sites shut down just to prove a point and assert that you don't believe me. Choices choices...

>>690181743
I understand that, but.../b/ no longer deserves anything that's actually good anymore. So find your own way. If you have a willing mind to commit and devote the time exercising your brain, you're bound to find it.

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>>690183851
bring it, pendejo

>>690184102
Get out of here with that beanspeak

>>690173199
Alpha as fuck!

>>690183851
better hope
>>690183113
isnt
>>690177268
if so, you're fucked

>>690184111
Your trips saved you this time, bub.
But next time will be different.

>>690172521
Stole a powder blue 60s era mustang

>>690184363
Thanks baby

I doubt anyone is reading these posts anyway

>be like 15
>going on a coal mine tour (thanks PA)
>see some nice mineral things or whatever, the shiny geode
>put one in my fist, turn fist over, let it slip into my sleeve
>proceed with three more

I mean, I'm kinda impressed I got away with it.

>>690184404
I like the cut of your gib.

>>690184200
Orale vato, come on holmes.
Swing, I wish you would.
I'll take you dignity and yo papers

>>690184511
BTW this was in the souvenir shop, not the actual mine

one time i broke the law

>>690184250
Por favor no me corra, mis hijos tienen hambre

>>690184325
Um what? Looks this pendejo,hoping I break his face. Pinche bolillo

I killed and ate around 20 people

>>690184433
Oh shit double dubs, I'm sorry.
Yo, you need your lawn cut sir?
I'll do it quick, my cousins all have their own machines

>>690172521
Nice try FBI.

>>690184727
Go back to tacoland

Stole an old lady's car

>>690173235
How lol

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>>690184610

Drive drunk as the fuck, without license.

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>>690185027
cant beat even beat Cho's highscore

>>690172521
browse 4chan

>>690185202
I'm getting a job at your new taco stand!?
Gracias señor.
I'll work right away. Where are the tortillas?

>>690185174
>implying the fbi even knows about this site

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I didnt pay for WINRAR

Poop in a shoe

>>690172521
I shot up a gay club and blamed it on a Muslim

>>690172521
drank alcohol when I was only 20

>>690185703
Yeah its in mexico where you belong

>>690172521
I lied in court so technically that's perjury

>>690185895
reported

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>>690185786

>>690185773
...really? really, huh. really.

>>690185982
you're going to hell

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>>690185381
Ira bois, he tryna fight.
We may in the wrong country Nigga, but yous in our hood. Ain't that right essays?

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MY MOM!

>>690186239
XD

>>690172521
Meth, a newborn and genocide.

>>690172521

running frrom the police

>>690185923
Nuevo Mexico??
Wow thank you boss.
I didn't think I'd get a vacation too

Every gril in class was asking me for gum that was annoying so i decided to jizz on the gum and prepare it so it looks original again. One girl said thats salty. I cracked up.

>>690185202
Imagine that! The land of tacos...it's like a mexican amusement park, except with rides, you have fiestas, pinatas, and so many varieties of Mexican foods than you could have ever imagined. Ah yes...latin flavor has never tasted so good.

And then in the alley, there's latina prostitutes who will suck your dick for $20. I don't think you'll have such a better time on a cheap dollar.

>>690172879
2edgy5me

Stole from a corner store after High School with the lads a few times like a madman.

Actually though it's probably being a fan of Loli on prison island.

>be me
>in CVS with family for some stuff i forget.
>5 at the time. Still didn't understand the concept of money.
>saw some silly string i kind of wanted.
>i didn't understand the concept of money. But i did understand you had to steal shit you didn't put up on the counter or register.
>slide silly string into my shorts.
>walk out of store with family.
>use silly string that day. Family had no idea i stole it for some reason.
>Go back there a few days later.
>a worker there is watching me and staring at me every few minutes.
>was a little creeped out and scared but didn't think it was about the silly string.

I now realize they saw me but let me off the hook and just sent someone to watch me.

>>690172521
Assumed blacks were bad because they commit >20X the violent crimes per capital as whites

Does fapping to cheesy porn count?
If not scamming people I guess

I put the wrong birthday into my register to sell spray paint to a friend.

>>690172521
Posting on here when I'm really 17 and 3 quarters.

Statutory, various drug, vandalism, also theft, but I don't know how severe it was. Basically my friends and I used to do this thing where you park on a road and check to see which cars are unlocked and if they have anything of value in them.
A lot of people leave money in the car without locking it. Deserve to have it stolen, imo.

>>690186674
it's not racism if you're quoting statistics

>>690186436
Brilliant, if can't find a way to pollinate , spread your seed in gum to populate

Paid a woman less because she worked fewer hours and had less experience

murder.

>>690186888

>>690172521
watched porn before I was 18