this is getting old. ever since /diy/ re-wired the house ive been shocked 4 times

>>690102198
I think Im getting arrested today guys dont open the door.

If i dont get 30 (YOU)s im gonna take a shit in the pool

>>690102816
Hey anon, there's someone at the door for you.

>>690103647

Grabs Ak-47

duck

>>690104323
Oh shi-

*ducks*

>>690103228
You better not faggit. I had to clean it last time

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WHO LEFT THEIR FUCKING CUMBOX OUT FOR ME TO STEP IN

If anyone wants any drugs let me know I'm heading out to re-up

>>690105161
i take some date rape and some heroine

>>690105775
Standard Tuesday night then huh?

who the fuck keeps putting the toilet paper roll backwards

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>>690107442
why do you care get out of my bathroom... its not my fault you clogged your toilet

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Hey guys I brought some friends for dinner.

>>690107615
you werent complaining when you ate all my chicken tendies

>>690107805
Welcome friends any friend of anon's is a friend here

>>690102198
WHO THE FUCK ATE MY CHILLI FRIES. my mum made us cupcakes btw

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If anyone needes me I'll be in my room drinking myself to sleep. I'm drinking captain Morgan if anyone is intrested.

>>690109699
Dude fuck that, lets play halo.

Hay Guyz!! please keep your pets in your own rooms. My son was playing by the lagoon and now I cannot find him.

>>690109699
ill be right there anon

>>690109843
You finaly got a second controler ?

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I decided to take over the basement, now turns into a hitler night club. 11 year old is in the kitchen underneath the table.

Why is there a doll head in the kitchen sink?? It freaked out the help she ran out screaming

*knocks over the Chocolate Milk* AS PUNISHMENT FOR YOUR FAGGOTRY, I WILL CRUSH YOUR ONLY HOPE.

>>690107805
mmm good, im hungry, who we cooking first

>>690110089
dude i told you to buy one with anon's mom's credit card.

I just did a poop.

>>690102198
I'm the one who has been drinking the milk straight from the gallon.

I'm walking around naked, deal with it

ALRIGHT, TIME TO PAY THE BILLS FAGGOTS

"oh look ops mom" *gang bang begins*

>>690110679
nah fam, I threatened the landlord and his family, we have some wiggle room

>>690110442
Did you man? Are you sure I wasnt piss poor drunk at the time?

>>690110637
Ive been cumming it it daily

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>>690110684
happening

>>690110933
looks like we both benefited.

Who the fuck spilled goddamn lucky charms all over the floor again? That shit's expensive, quit wasting it.

If anyone wants me then I'll be curled up on my bed, in the fetal position, sobbing to myself softly

Anyone gonna eat the rest of that ?
-points at 11 year old-

>>690111014
I gotta sift through all that shit grain to find MAH MARSHMELLOWS

Holy fuck its my diploma, not fucking toilet paper. Anon go fuck yourself. AND YOU'RE CLEANING IT UP

>>690111079
DON'T TOUCH MY FOOD YOU NIGGER!

>>690111224
I licked it! Its mine now!

I GOT NETFLIX LET'S WATCH HOUSE OF CARDS LETS GOOOOOOO.

>>690111058
shut your door this time last time i cringed so hard it took a week to get the look off my face

>>690111326
Do you want some bbq sauce with her then? We could share...

>>690111058
*masturbates calmly in the corner*

>>690111710
*Looks slowly up at you and masturbates back, only more furiously*

I see some negros next door I am PISSED

>>690111859
*makes prolonged eye contact*

>>690111990
GET ME MAH SHOTGUN

>>690111990
Take my shotgun and take em out my g

>>690111561
Its fine man i just ordered a fresh one.

I think tumblr sent us some pizzas bros

>>690112068
*Stares back, waiting for your next move, hand still cupping my nuts*

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This guy is wandering around the house, asking everyone to rate him

>>690112202
Cheers, I hope you ordered only white 7 years olds mang, we don't need niggers and spics as food

>>690111101
If you want mini marshmallows so bad just buy mini fucking marshmallows. You are TEARING THIS FAMILY APART, ANON

>>690112542
STOP YELLING YOU FAGGOT NOW EAT A FUCKING INFANT INSTEAD OF FUCKING MARSHMALLOWS.

>>690112542
stop yelling at him!!!!! I cant take this marshmallow fight every night its the same...Im g

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OH SHIT GUYS, UMM.... THE HOUSE IS ON FUCKING FIRE!!! I JUST WANTED TO MAKR SOME SOUP!

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GUYS Im moving to the netherlands. i heard weed is legal there.

>>690111710
>>690111859
>>690112068
FAGGOTS!!

>>690112688
good i had evidence of a serious crime in that wing

>>690112688
Hey, atleast we won't need to pay for heating

>>690112396
*moves over and stands next to bed*

I'm jacking off on everything I want. Starting with neckbeard's gaming computer.

>>690112887
*Leans in to whisper distance*

>>690112416
White 10 year old girl for me but i got a chubby 8 yr old boy for anon

rollin a fat blunt by the pool, who's matching?
also someone please grab my cigs from the kitchen ty

>>690112975
*cums on your face, runs out laughing*

>>690112687
I can't take this shit, anon. He lives under our roof and all he does is jack off to anime and spill out cereal. Anon needs to get his life together or I will kick him out by the end of the month.

We have enough autists living with us as is.

>>690113061
fuck you anon you shouldn't have shot the fucking maid enjoy getting your own shit

>>690112688
>john's pouring jagermeister on the fire
why do we let this guy sleep here

>>690113054
Eh, they ran out of 7 year old girls again? Fine, who's up for some kung pao chicken ? I'll use the boy instead of chicken tho

Anybody want to help me murder our slavic neighbors? All I have is a plastic toothbrush that has the handle sharpened into a shank

>>690113161
*Cries even more*

>>690112396
Walk in on you guys and stares furiously between the two

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OH SHIT GUYS!!! THE FUCKING COPS ARE HERE AT OUR FRONT DOOR, GET RID OF ALL OUR ILLEGAL SHIT AND DRUGS!

>>690112973
D:

>>690113349
If the cops come by again I'm tossing you out the fucking window.

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>>690111710
>>690111859
>>690112068

>>690113412
HE CAME ON ME!

>>690113474
LOAD EM UP BOYS, WE HAVE A WAR ON OUR HANDS

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>>690113474
Fuck that fam, who's up for a great prank?

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Knock all u want fgts I'm not done til I'm done.

Gonna go smoke some PCP with the dead bitch in the basement... Anyone up for some heroin and watching?

>>690113621
fuck I told you not to open the door today.... ok i got attic windows covered..just need to get that fat fuck brian out of there

>>690113351
sorry anon, it was just a prank /b/ro

>>690102198

>Updown court, windlesham, surrey – $ 139 million (€ 103 million)
This is a huge, California-style mansion located in the village of Windlesham, Surrey, just 40 minutes away from London. It consists of 4 floors, decorated with 24 carat gold leaf tiles. It has 2 guest houses with nine bedroom suites and nine bathrooms. This gigantic mansion is larger than the two royal residences the Hampton Court Palace and Buckingham Palace put together.

Nice pick anon.

>>690113790
:'( I'm moving!!

>>690113759
Could be fun, but lemme finish cooking the 8 y/o kid, yea?

>>690113412
hope you weren't in the firing line

>>690113825
at least someone in the house thanked me

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everyone died the end

>>690113825
God knows we'd destroy it in a day.

>>690113474
>throws pocket sand
RUN GUYS ILL HOLD THEM OFF!!!

>>690113948
Hey I cooked crystal Meth and kung pao 8 year old to thank you

>>690113919
I'm sorry, dont leave, ill let you suck me off

>>690104323
Grabs doritos and a montain dew

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>>690113474
IM NOT TRAPPED IN A HOUSE FULL OF COPS, YOU ARE ALL TRAPPED IN HERE WITH ME.

Why does it look like our house is surrounded by the projects, and our pool is very small

>>690114136
Ok so it was you who laced the 8yr old with meth? I havnt slept in days...

>>690113825
It's only problem is that it's in Britain

>>690113942
yeah man, save me a bit of thigh, I'm always hungry after PCP. Maybe some 2CI to balance shit out, whatever's going really.

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Anon can I use your dragon dildo to get anon's instrument off of me?!?!

I dare someone to do a running jump off the roof into the pool. Its safe dont worry.

>>690114163
IT'S TOO LATE!

>>690105161
Lets drop some acid and hang out at the pool

>>690114271
No, I cooked the kid about two minutes ago, didn't feed him Meth tho...I did feed Meth to the 7 year old Girl till someone ate her anon..

>>690114454
*cries*

someone move their white rape van.. its makes us all look sketchy....

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>>690113948

Yeah but we really need to renovate the kitchen. Mine is very similar except for the crown moldings. You couldn't cook for all these anons in this ordinary smallish room.

I've seen more lavish kitchens in tract homes.

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>>690111859
>>690111710

Guys, the alarm in my room just went off

>>690114314
Yea sure fam, I cooked alot so we all can eat. So, pass me the sryinge

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>>690102198
Don't throw that corpse out, that's Christina Grimmie. I'm still eating/fucking that body.

>>690105161
You got any gorilla glue? some acid would be nice too

We are using the attic in the north wing of the mansion for a Christian prayer group. Please do not disturb from 8 till 9.

>>690114683
Thats prob a kitchen in our guest house...we let reddit fags stay sometimes and then gas them....

>>690111162
Your diploma only gave more shit anon it did not work well

>>690105161
Get two phones man. One for the plug and one for the load.

>>690114797
Duuude, I left my 4 y/o Girl there, they won't fuck her right?

>>690109316
Coo man, coo. I'm ready for your mom and the cupcakes

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>>690114859

That's awesome. Meanwhile I'll be having an orgy in this bathroom. Any anon with decent looks is welcome to partake in my harem.

>>690114952
wholly shit there's a 4 year old? I guess I'm going to a christian prayer group!

Ok,Guys, I'm leaving my hydrochloridric acid in the alcohol cabinet (it has to stay away from light)
DON'T DRINK IT, I draw a skull on the bottle

>>690114952
I certainly hope they'll fuck her right, they get enough practice.

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Hey Anon, I dropped my phone can you grab that for me? Did it survive a 3 story drop onto marble?

>>690115143
*chugs down the acid* well shit I'm dead. I gotta go, I have shit to do in hell.

>>690115128
DON'T TOUCH MY GOD DAMN 4 y/o!>>690115156
Dude.. she's training for my cock on Meth..

QUICK!!! WHO CHANGED THE WYFI PASSWORD!! Yumblood666 isnt working

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>>690115486

Sorry Anon, I threw your router in the pool cause fuck you.

>>690115291
Damn son, it made it. Otter box case op

>>690113825
who lives there you limey toad

>>690115486
Chill mang, it's m00tisafaggot22

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>>690102198
Guys seriously start pulling your own fucking weight. I'll I've been doing since I got here was clean and this place is even shittier than when I started.

I've had to dispose of a dead 11 year old, clean some faggot's shit out of the pool, unclog the toilet, clean all the empty captain morgan bottles out of anon's room, mop up spilled chocolate milk, throw away some dude's disgusting cumbox he left on the floor, sweep up an entire box of lucky charms, and attempt to scrub cumstains of of fucking EVERYTHING. And the place is still trashed.

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>>690115646

We all do, faggot.

Who's seen my copy of battletoads?

>>690115359
Great, now I have to get more acid
Well done anon, I'll just dump your body in some perchloric acid

>>690114624
*rubs your back* I'm sorry boo xx

>>690115778
Sorry mang, I'll clean up my bottles..

>>690115778
I'm investing in fast food companies as the house kitchens slowly descend into disfunctionality and anons rely on pizza to survive

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We really need stop hiring mexicans

>>690115872
I sold it to gamestop bro. They gave me 15 dollers got some beer and ciggs going to my room to watch some netflix

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>>690115778

Looks clean to me faggot, why don't you let us worry about clean up and chill out with us you god damn nigger.

>>690115778
someones keeping track dont forget you got us swatted last week....

>>690116053
Nah man, The one on right is Alfredo, he's an old friend of mine from the Cartel

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>>690115778
That was Christina Grimmie faggot! I can't just get another body like that.

>>690116053
Who the fuck would hire mexicans...all they do is try to fuck with my Meth Lab

>>690116161
WTF anon, that coast me like 7billion

>>690116288
As I said,
>Alfredo was in the cartel

>>690116331
no wonder i got over9k laughs from the kid buying it... oh well want a budlight??

>>690115922
*fells better* wanna halves on some hookas and blow?

>>690116331
Stop fucking paying for shit with your Zimbabwe dollars then nigger.

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>>690102198
Open up, it's the police

>>690102198
im jason t-t-he maid

>>690116442
ahs shit! gonna need more then one tho

>>690116411
Just make them leave please. They keep shouting in their spic Language and trying to stop me from cooking

>>690116580
who's the fag who ordered the pizza

>>690116580
Piss off, we already killed the SWAT units...

>>690116562
But Robert is the greatest, maybe he can make america great again?!?!

>>690116449
*Pulls out a gram and cuts two lines* fucking right friendo

>>690116622
Sigh
Fine, but only because you got triple dubs

Alfredo, tiempo de salir de aqui, hermano!

Op here. Tomorrow we have to do a" tour of homes " for the town ...all new to the house we do it once a year so comb your hair and look like gentleman....... IT is only a hour of acting normal if we can get threw this the board of health gives us a break.

>>690116952
*happy dance/calls bitches on speed dial* lets party bro

>>690116580
I want to feel that blonde cops pussy.

>>690117040
What? No way, tomorrow I have to host a party
There'll be a lot of alcohol I already bought

>>690117098
Ermm... We should probably get some clothes on first

WHO DITCHED THEIR METH IN MY BED

>>690113061
Front me this one, I'm reuping saturday

>>690117040
Fuck that fam, I'll be in my room with the child slaves and my Meth Lab.
>>690117026
Thannks fam, I'll give you a pound of Meth for your troubles

>>690112412
who let our dinner wander around the house do i need to stab that faget with a toothpick

>>690116931
Holy shit a double dose of king nigger wasn't enough you want to go for trips?

>>690117040
An hour? A whole fucking HOUR of acting normal? Dude that is SO unreasonable! How the fuck do you expect anyone to go without jacking off that long?

>>690117314
hmm, will have to go shopping all my stuff burned in the great fire of 2016

>>690117319
those are Legos sempai

>>690117364
Nah Man, we're cool
Now, get back to your meth, and let me know if some other mexicans are bothering you

>>690117555
Awwh fuck, NEKKID HOUSE PATRAAY

>>690117464
Vote Mugabe 2016. Still a better president the Trump will ever be!

Hey anon, if you get a package from Amazon, don't open it.

>>690117894
Whoop, whoop. plus cant fuck the bitches with clothes on!

>>690117958
why? whats in it?

>>690117836
Alright fam, no-one besides him and my child labour have tried to stop me from cooking

Hey guys, I'm back from the bar and... hic... I think I drank too much
Can someone park my car straight? I crashed it in Chad's front door hehe

>>690118194
Good fam

>>690118063
It'll either be a parcel bomb or the Black Destroyer I ordered.

>>690118369
I ordered 5 gallons of lube, let me know if it arrives

You guys wanna head to the club. I know a great one called The Pulse

>>690118497
heard they give out free shots

>>690117664
o-oh.. alright.. i must be on something then

>>690118592
>>690118497
/thread

>>690118497
I heard they let muslims in there. I like my body in one piece.

>>690118592
When you realize we had 49 posters at this time

>>690118497
We're gonna party till we die

>>690118369
well, ok then i hope you choose to shove both up your ass fegget.

Fam... some tumblr feminist are pickiting outside our sweet home.... what should we doo... Ill grab the harpoons

*turns into nigger dragon*

I TOLD YOU BITCH ASS MUTHAFUCKAS I'D BE BACK IN THIS BITCH YALL DUN FUCKED UP NOW YOU CRACKER ASS HONKEY'S IM FREE AND I'M GOING TO ROAST AND RAPE ALL OF YOUR WOMEN AND CONTINUE SPILLING MY LAVA SEMEN DOWN DEH WHITE WOMENZ THROAT UNTIL SHE GIVES ME SOME FUCKING NIGGA DRAGON BABIES SO FUCKING EAT MY SHIT YOU PECKERWOODZ CUZ SH!TS BOUTA GET HAWT UP IN CHEAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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>>690119333
release the hounds

>>690119333
Use your trips to scare them
>We could threat to rape them

>>690119333
Fuck... start showing your pay checks! Remind them!

Hey guys im home........WHERE THE FUCK IS MY 11 YEAR OLD???

>>690120031
Ones for dinner and the other got thrown out by some retard "tidying up", not sure which was yours but either way you gotta go out again.

>>690119774
Yeah anon, we can see you, no need to take photos
You realize we let you live here only because you buy alcohol for us all right?

>>690120031
We ate her, sorry fam

>>690120294
Fuck sake! Well no problem i have one in the trunk of my care, ill go get her now.

everyone stop peeing in the pool its like a weird yellow greenish with blood clots......... im getting worried.

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anybody ready to play the bball outside?

>>690120406
OK im getting really pissed now, who the fuck borrowed my car???

>>690120573
Anon take it because he needed a ride for his bank robbery

>>690120573
dont go in there....its a crime scene... I used it to bait , and things got messy....

>>690120700
But the girl is in the trunk man!!

>>690120749
that would explain the screaming.

>>690120749
Well, I guess that if anon gets caught he will have something to explain
Don't worry, he'll be right back, the idiot forgot his gun here

>>690120749
Hey bro, here's the keys. WERE RICH FELLAS!

>>690102198

Hi guys back from the store with cleaning supplies and a pet alligator. Time to get rid of this body

>>690120937
Well, how did you do it without a gun?
I'm impressed

>>690121013
That fake sucide vest method works mang

>>690102198
so guys, i got coke... theres tons of it. what are we doing tonight?

>>690120937
Hey thx man, next time fucking ask before you take something........HOLY SHIT, SHES GONE. Guys help me find her!!

>>690121259
God damn It, didn't you install a tracking chip into her spine?

>>690121259
WHAT DO SHE LOOKS LIKE?>>690121185
Well, Good job fam

Cool ranch and barbeque

>>690121497
IDK man, short, brown hair, no tits, no ass. ITS A FUCKING KID, HOW HARD CAN IT BE

>>690121497
Thannks fam, it wasnt easy tho

>>690121444
Do you know how much that shit costs man?? i cant aford that shit

>>690121214
it's fucking friday, we'll be injecting all kind of shit in our blood so your coke is more than welcome bro

>>690121797
My friend is a fucking surgeon who could do that for 5 bucks mang

>>690122007
Well why didnt you fucking tell me anything, now we got a loose 11 year old running around,,,,damn

DAMN IT ANON, YOU CAN'T GET A JOB, BUT YOU CAN FIND A MILLION AND ONE WAYS TO MAKE PEANUT BUTTER SEXUAL.

>>690122220
Oh fuck, if she uses my Meth I'll beat the living hell out of her

>>690122281
How is that bad, exactly?

hi

>>690122390
I thought it was pop rocks...my bad she asked

>>690122567
Well shit fam, I'm guessing she's in my room then, trying to get more. I'll go get her

>>690122567
DUDE, WHY DIDNT U CATCH HER, WHERE DID SHE GO????

IM FUCKING SERIOUS who the hell is bleeding all over the floors.... Shit stains and we all dont have jobs

>>690122737
Hurry man!

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yo this stupid bitch just fucking od'ed on my bed if any1 is interested

>>690122808
Hah, here she is, she's a bit shaky tho...

>>690122819
na looks like you already gave her herpes

>>690122750
She went to anons room... said they had some sort of business deal i dunno

>>690122819
kek you have girly pillowcases you fag no wonder your giving her up

>>690122897
Phew, thx man. Help me get het to the attic

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OKAY WHO FUCKING PISSED ON THE RUG?

I WANT NAMES!

>>690123124
God damn it Hillary!

>>690122775
We dont need jobs, obvs we all anonomouse leet heckers

>>690123008
Yea yea, not my first time moving Kids to the attic, just as long nobody touches my 4 y/o...

>>690122913
faggot

>>690123248
You got any spare ropes or chains, i need to tie this bitch up

>>690123466
Yea, rope is in the attic, otherwise my kid would have ran away by now

HOLY SHIT SOMEONE CALLED THE POLICE, HIDE THE FUCKING WEED

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>>690123248
yeah about that...

>>690123683
Not this shit again man...

>>690123683
we already killed the SWAT im not scared