My car's mom tried to finger me in the back of my friend

I paid for two hookers in Asia last year. I came in the first 5 minutes. There goes 100 bucks.

>>690014575
This isn't a secret. Everybody can tell.

>>690014575
>I'm 35, never had sex, your point?

I want to kill my family.

I paid this really fat girl to stick a tube up my ass and stick the other end up her ass and rip a huge fart. She held it in for like a few hours before releasing it so it was really long and had a lot of pressure and volume.
10/10 would do again

Recently spoke to an ex from 10 years ago. I haven't had sex with anyone since. She still remembers my tiny dick.

>>690014575
Sauce on picture?

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I recently found out the wrestler Paige lost a baby when she was in her teens.

It was my baby :(

>>690014575
I constantly complain about how my life sucks in every way, know how to fix it, but can't bring myself to do it.

Every post in this thread was made by me.

>>690016348
Wait, are you me???

Middle school teacher here, and one of my female students sucked my cock in the gym equipment room. Nobody knows about this except for you, my fellow /b/tards.

I constantly cheat on my long-term girlfriend with multiple women. To keep them off-balance I have to always be pushing the girls away or drawing them in.

I think I'll crash and burn soon.

>>690017368
greentext that shit

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My sister and I made out once when I played truth or dare with her friends. Made me cum and I still fap to that thought to this day. I wanna fuck her so bad now. Pic related.

>>690017368
nigga u kno we want a greentext

>>690017690
More of sister please

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>>690017862

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>>690017947

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>>690018014

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>>690018071

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>>690018141

>>690017857
Bump

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>>690018209

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>>690018278

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>>690018340

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>>690018398

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>>690018453

>>690014575
Ah, you made it to wizard, good lad

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>>690018501

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>>690014575
once I voted for trump

>>690014575
why are you still a virgin?
ugly, micro penis, antisocial?

I am very unsure of myself

>>690014575
Your magic is potent, a great wizard. Lichdom is imminent.

I hold imaginary conversations with people I know in my head whenever I'm alone. I feel like it's my brains way of working out the kinks that come with having another organism complete with its own unique pattern of behavior infect your psyche.

>>690014575
I'm a sissy

>>690018793
Yea dude, me too.

>>690018550
i just jerked off to your sister...... shhh dont tell your

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I am a camgirl

>>690019030
That's comforting.

Lurking, don't have any interesting secrets

I don't have a drivers license because I failed the driving test three times and I can't afford to retake it right now. I'm 30 years old.

>>690017368

i remember you, you're the track guy? or some samefagging b8

>>690019096
Love when other men want her

>>690017653
>>690017857

Greentext is gonna be boring but here we go.

>be gym teacher
>one female student in my class (I realized that in a lot of places gym classes have a same sex teacher, but it's not always the case) was having troubles with her fitness test
>wants her to succeed like a good teacher, encourages her to join running club and train after school
>she trains super hard for months, is now the fastest runner in her grade
>we spend a lot of time together, she has feelings for me
>oblivious idiot that I am, didn't catch on early enough
>just over a month ago had running session, but no one else but her showed up
>one thing lead to another, got my balls drained in equipment room
>regrets afterwards, considered turning myself in, actually came to /b/ for advice
>/b/ said to not confess my crimes and deny everything
>obeys /b/'s advice, talked to her in private a few days later
>told her I was horrible, and didn't want to hurt her, we can't do that thing again, and we can tell the principal together if she wanted to
>she didn't want to get me in trouble
>we'll hang out in the summer together to re-establish our relationship, her idea
>I really think sometime in the summer, we're going to fuck

That's about it so far.

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hey op I got a cool secret for you
in Zelda 1 there's this secret room where you get items from Ganon's minions

don't tell it's a secret to everyone

>>690019557
Cant teach speed
fake and gay

>>690019412
I'm 31 without my license. I've had driving practice but I never took the test because I'm afraid of failure.

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>>690014575

Twitter is more like shitter.

Pro tip is in green text.

> Faggots in pic related insult 4chan and Anonymous.

>>690018793
>>690019030

Everyone has those, stop trying to make it seem like you're some multi-conscious being.

>>690019829
You can in long distance running.

>>690019557
pics or it didn't happen

>>690019858
30 here, took my practical test a few months ago and passed.

I was the same as you but finally just had to do it. it was embarrassing but got through it.

>>690019699
WHATS THE FIRST RULE MOTHERFUCKER?

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>>690019881

Who in the fuck used Twitter to insult Anonymous and 4chan? I say we hack and dox the fags when we get pissed.

>>690019978
So everyone's talking to someone that isn't there whenever they're driving down the road?

>>690020041
It wasn't premeditated. I was getting ready for a run with my students that day, not to get my dick wet.

>>690020250
lollerskates

>married 15 years
>have 4 kids
>JW elder
>cheat on my wife all the time

My brother in law used to touch my ass when I was sleeping as a rock noticed only twice, didnt know how to react as I'm a dude, were the same age then, he's married now

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>>690015800

>>690019980
eh ill give you that. even sprinting you can teach speed. but i remember growing up coaches always saying you can teach everything but speed. in reality proper form can shed even a few tenths of a second off a 40 yard dash

>>690020288
riiiiiiiiiight
;)

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>>690019699

I remember that. That'd be breaking the 4th wall if that'd happen, grenade those fags who do.

Death to 4th wall breakers!

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>>690015237
did you fart it back out or did you "inhale" it?

>>690019881


what the fuck is this faggot russian bullshit

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OP, my secret is that *I* was the one who sneaked into your bedroom that night and molested you when you were 7. I apologize for not using a condom.

>>690014679

Kek

I was promised off in a poker game to a Filipino family when I was 5 yrs old. This whole time I was growing up I had a fiance. My Dad's moved out (who lost me in the game) and my mother swore on her life she would make me "husband material." I'm turning 20 real soon and we are appointed to meet this year. I don't know what to think, I never had a girlfriend before. I'm not interested in getting one either, all I want to do is graduate college and fund for a new home. Seems like this year I have to leave school for a year to go meet her family and stuff. What do you guys think about this? Am I screwed? Have an idea on how I can get out of this mess?

>>690015230
>Edgy teen who didn't get an iphone6 for their birthday spotted

>>690018141
bruh what in the fuck is this hobgoblin?

I had a license but lost it because I was having issues convincing myself to open mail. Missed jury duty too. Mail phobic?

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My bike stalled in front of a gang of nice girls. I have never felt so embarrassed.

I once fucked a guy with a micropenis.

I recently bought an anime body pillow case for no reason. (I don't know what to do with my money).

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When I was 16, I fucked my science teacher. I'm now 24 and still talk to her on occasion. She is also my aunt.
>plot twist

>>690021398
>fucked a guy
>with a micropenis
is that even possible, would it even go in

>>690021554
Pics?

I work for a major bank. I completely falsified my resume and I guess no one ever bothered to check.

Fantasizing about torturing people is the only way I can get to sleep. I don't know why. Generally I'm pretty personable and like people.

>>690021671
Hold on lemme find her on facebook. I'll also post me when i was 16 and now, for reasons.

>>690020926
>free pussy
I don't see your problem.

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>>690021777
nice trips. also, wtf m9er.

>>690021798
K

>>690021652
Just enough for him to cum before I even realized it was "in"

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>>690021671

>>690021671
I'm actually not gonna post me.

>>690021960
Oh yeah, thanks. Idk man. Yesterday I put a cigarette out on a worm to see if I was really a sociopath, but seeing it leap around in pain just made me feel horrible, so I know I'll never act on those impulses. I just have no idea why they manifest into fantasy in the first place.

>>690016348
Same

I've been skimming thousands from work for the past 4 years.

When I was 8 my aunt's great Dane decided to hump my back, instead of stopping it, my parents filmed it on their camcorder, and now it gets spliced into EVERY home movie compilation my dad makes

>>690022168
Noice
>>690022313
Is k

I have been having my little cousin suck my dick for the past 10 or 11 years... I'm married 7 years 27yr old my cousin is now 16... Do math

>>690020809
I farted it back out all day for hours. I had to inhale it, the smell filled the room. I had really bad gas pain the entire day. This girl was like three time my size, she pumped a lot of gas out of her butthole.

>>690020491
No worries. I was more desperate a month ago for someone to believe I needed help. I think I'm okay now, and whether you believe it or not, I want to thank you for being there for me, /b/.

>>690020505
Remember, when people are in middle school, training up endurance alone could shave off a ton of time. She's fast because she trains while other people fucking try to cheat on their fitness tests. She's still not fast at a competitive level, but I think she wants to get there.

>>690020566
I swear to God aside from this, I'm an excellent teacher.

>>690021827
I don't even know the girl, for all I know she could be fat, or ugly. Maybe have stds or someshit.

>>690022453
I fucked her at her house on the last day of sophomore year. Haven't had since but plan on it soon, I'll film and post to 4chan one day.

I have a moderately successful career and an outwardly attractive girlfriend I live with in a trendy downtown apartment. I'm miserable because my dream career doesn't exist anymore. I think as a coping device I've explored my curiosity for crossdressing recently, buying clothes on Amazon and hiding them from my g/f in a lock box I tell her has my passport in it. I've been curious about cross dressing since I was five, but I'm not gay or trans. I really wish I was because then I'd have a community to support me and make me feel less alone. Instead I'm just some guy too curious about too many things for his own good.

When I try to tell my friends how I feel, they say I'm successful and stable and reasonably attractive, so what do I have to be sad about?

>>690014575
I let the corner bar sitting old gay guy at my local blow me. For free beer. Lots of it.

>>690014575
I've shoved, kicked, punched, and tripped cops at major protests over the last 30 years and never been arrested for it successfully. I was actually arrested once for jumping a cop, but I got de-arrested by the crowd before I could be cuffed. I once hit a riot cop in the head with a wooden stick so many times that he drew his gun and pointed it in my face, screaming, "BACK OFF OR I'LL SHOOT YOU." I melted back into the crowd and took off my balaclava before I could be arrested.

>>690020809
Some of it probably got absorbed by my body or something because it felt like every inch of my whole body was filling up with gas when she released it.

When I was 12, I killed a whole liter of kittens that I had found in a barn. Drowned one in a bowl of milk, strangled the rest.

>>690022372
Get a therapist to be sure, but violent fantasies could be a symptom of OCD. Do you have any other OCD-like symptoms?

I want to have my mom and aunt as sex slaves

>>690022372
I feel nothing when it comes to harming living beings or people.
>inb4 edgelord teenager

>>690022500
story time?

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>>690023245

>>690015230
SHUT UP MOM I HATE YOU UGH

My aunt molested me as a young girl and I repressed it until her funeral

>>690022500
Cousin a girl or boy? Greentext it you cunt.

>>690023587
how has it affected you anon?

>>690023587
>as a young girl
So you identify as something you're not too?

I can never be with a girl for a long term relationship. Always wind up fucking it up early on and ending it.

Ive stolen lots of money

Im a sociopath and live my life accordingly. I fucked my best friends little sister just because when I was 16.. she was 12. I goad people into doing bad shit just to see their reaction. I really dont have any feelings or empathy. I got a girl to attempt suicide twice. I just ruin things.

>>690023874
Same but I get bored, I just don't like people.

>>690023150
I have one, but I never disclose the more vital aspects my ailments, mainly because I lack the ability to explain them and I don't want to be locked up.
Not really. I mean I have a preference for abstract concepts that often results in physical and social neglect, but I wouldn't characterize that as being obsessive-compulsive.

>>690023423
Eh, it comes in waves. Some days I'm extremely insensitive and others I get overwhelmed by the intricacy of people's emotions. It's exhausting.
Today's kind of the former. Just lit a junebug on fire, but it already had a broken leg so I felt it was just.
Besides, I don't even have an instinctual disposition to empathize with non-mammalian creatures.

>>690023623
Girl and I don't know how green text :(

>>690024034
Put up the ">" sign before you type your line

>like this

I have considered shooting up a school

>>690023922
greentext story about the 12 yo?

>>690023773
Honestly it explained a lot about how my life had gone up to that point. Got lots of counciling, and now I'm pretty normal tbh
>>690023774
Are you implying I'm not female? Or that I wasn't molested?

>>690024034
Just put a ">" newfag

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>>690023874
>be me
>9th grade
>talking to a girl way out of my league
>she looks amazing
>she sits on my lap
>I say "wow you're heavy"
>whydidijustsaythat.exe
>she wasn't even heavy at all, just had self-esteem issues
>FML

>>690024034
It doesn't have to be greentext, if the story is interesting enough it doesn't matter

>>690016348
same

>>690024209
>thanks

>>690024034
newfag

I'm in love with a girl that I know and have been for years, despite having been engaged during that time, and I want to tell her how I feel but she's taken and been with the guy for three years and I hell like I don't stand a chance.

I have to beat up my dad to get even... but I did beat him up but I just didnt feel it... he still seems confident and yet I have to get even AGAIN!!!


oh the pain .. fuck this shit

I fucked my best friend's girlfriend and been doing it for a while, think my gf knows but I made sure that my best friend seems disgusting and just an asshole for her just in case she decides to get revenge, she used to know he got the hots for her

>>690020926
Girl is most likely a 2/10 pr potato. If youre legally an adult and the local government isn't a bunch of cunts, just take some money and leave. Or, if you do happen to be in the Philippines, I know a guy who sells RPKs. It's your choice, fam. If she turns out to be not a bitch, go for it. She may not he very happy tho.

>>690024633
I know the feeling, anon, It's really shitty. Just meet someone and your feelings for her will go away.

>>690014575

My wife went away for a month just a couple of weeks ago and in the 4 weeks she was away I sucked off 27 different guys and got my ass fucked 8 times.

For some reason I'm almost exclusively attracted to rape. Consensual sex just doesn't interest me and I've got some fairly harsh fantasies.

It's one of the main reasons I dont actually pursue relationships or sex with women. I really dont trust myself to be in an an intimate situation with someone.

>>690024881

I was with a girl for four years, was engaged, it persisted through all that...

>>690025030
Maybe just kill yourself then, idk.

>>690014575

My mother was a pill head all throughout growing up. She would regularly pass out dead cold for hours on end. I mean so out you we once poured a pot of water on her to try to wake her up and nothing.
Naturally I was a curious young boy to the female anatomy, and tbh, my mom was pretty good looking - so from about 6-9 years old I'd take her clothes off and touch her. I've stuck my fingers in her pussy, played with her tits, and touched her asshole. My brother 'technically' lost his virginity to her. I watched my brother, 11yo get on top of my mother and stick his dick in her.
A few times she did wake up, and I'd have to quickly cover her back up, or run out of the room.
I've always wondered if she ever knew what I was doing to her, or if she was just so fucked up coming out of a drugged induced stupor that she wouldn't have remembered what she woke up to happening to her.

Shes dead now though, overdose, go figure, so I'll never know if she knew or not. I tell yah what though, I have a dark feeling tattooed on my soul prob forever for all that.

>>690017690
don't blame you anon or make judgements, she's en fuego

My 17yo make cousin has been letting me blow him ever since his dad died. I'm 30. He's starting to get needy and wanting me to let him fuck me and show up in his backyard at night and shit. I just wanted a dick every once in a while but now he's acting like he's addicted and I'm worried if I don't do what he tells me to, he'll get mad and say some shit that'll put me in jail eek

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>>690024034
It's summertime, and the living's easy.
Also tits or gtfo

>>690014575

I've had a very private yet controlled meth habit since december. It is masked by a rather successful career and the positivity bullshit I'm always spewing.

>>690024457
>like that

>>690025109
That's pretty fucked dude.

>>690025248
Stop before shit gets out of hand, I've seen what meth does to people long term, and it's more fucked up than I think you realize.

She tells me she loves me. I like her a lot, but I feel like I don't love her back. At least not yet.

I've been stealing my moms prescriptions meds for the last few months and have panic attacks without them now

>>690014575
I've been fucking this girl my brother has the hots for, and yet hates at the same time.

I gouged someone's eye with a broken glass in a bar in europe once.

Cocaine has run my life for two years.

>>690021724
nice

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>>690025109

Every night before bed I go for a walk around the neighborhood.

At least 3 or 4 times a week I'll hook up with guys I chatted with on squirt dot org and suck them off in the park down the street from my house.

In the past year I have hooked up with well over 30 different guys and given well over 100 blowjobs to those 30+ guys.

My wife does not suspect a thing.

>>690025109

I know dude. I lived a pretty fucked up life tbh.

>>690025109
God damn, anon.

>>690021724
wtf, what did you put on it?

>>690025445
>>690025781

Meant the above for you, anon.

I killed my dog in cold blood.

>>690025751
Sweet setup bruv, did she sign a prenup?

Some well barely teenagers (13-14) where having a hot tub party in the house behind mine you could only really see them from my baby sons room and I could see them all with with who evers mother it was and I just fapped away as they splashed around so many tight tiny bikinis preteen camel toe looks amazing

>>690025926
Why was your blood so cold? Are you a snowman?

>>690022870
he should have shot you

Im pretty sure im a psychopath and atleast a scociapth

>>690025751

Well she's not technically my wife. She's my baby's mama that I live with but the gubment don't know we live together

>>690022870
thats fucking sweet.

>>690024244
Not much to tell really
>I started subtlety being more affectionate towards her to see if I could get a reaction
>women are retarded and will follow their feelings over everything else if you push the right buttons
>I told her she was really mature for her age and stuff just buttering her up
>one night at my friends house he fell asleep early so I watched tv in the living room
>she came in there and just sat next too me and we talked for awhile
>she was having a rough time with her boys at her school
>fucking jackpot
>I talked her into letting me kiss her and the rest was gravy
>I was her first kiss as well as everything else thats gonna happen
>we kissed a couple more times before things got heated and we started making out
>I traced her body with my hands and she didn't stop me so I pushed harder
>I was groping that ass and eventually tits
>she didn't know much about the male body
>she wanted to see what a dick looked like and I showed her
>she grabbed it so I told her how to jack me off
>I told her I wanted to make her feel good and she let me
>I went down on her
>a fucking perfect innie with a little pubes
>I ate her out and fingerblasted her till she melted into the couch
>instinct took over and I lined my dick up with her snatch and I just worked my way in
>she cried a little bit but she embraced me and well
>I popped that cherry
>she had a vice grip on my dick and I loved it
>I worked in and out slowly
>she got a little more relaxed after a bit and I sped up
>Im pretty sure she came because her pussy got so tight it actually hurt
>I pulled out and jacked off onto her little pink nips
>she was flat as a washboard but thats how I like it
>we cleaned up and she went to bed and so did i
we ended up having sex every chance we had until me and my friend had a falling out.

>>690023922
why do you live?

>>690019205
Tits or GTFO.

>>690014575
I hate amerifags and all things they do or say ill be very happy if russians drop a nuclear bomb there.

my lil' cousin and I have the same humour, she touched my penis while I was asleep in family trip and some other stuff, she's 12 I'm 21

>>690026421
I dont really know. I like causing other people pain.

>>690026421
to post dank maymays and epic GETs on 4chan.com slash bee slash Xd

>>690025029
keep it that way

>>690026705
I just got cancer from that post.

>>690014575
I never had a secret until a couple months ago. After watching interracial poem for so long, I'm pretty much addicted and think about myself being an actual cuck, and thinking how I'd keep it a secret from everyone.

I watch the hardcore subliminal messaging/brainwashing kind, and I can tell that my mind has changed over time. So I can't say what will happen in the future, I think.

Also, I had sex for like 15 seconds, felt it, meh, I could go for a doll. You ain't missing much.

>>690019412
Chillout SpongeBob

I'm into interracial gangbang rape porn where the white woman is a person of authority, like a police officer or an office manager.

>>690026849
>implying the guy I was talking about does anything but those things and isn't a massive edgy faggot.
Thanks, Lori

>>690026879
This one guy had a cuck fetish and he let his wife fuck another man, and realised his fetish wasn't to be the cuck, but to be the guy fucking the fucks wife, his wife really enjoyed the other man, and now he has severe depression.

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>>690014575
/B/, I have a crippling addiction to marijuana; am I kill?

>>690027062
>this post
>/b/
It all checks out.
K Y S
Y
S

>>690024867
Yeah, thats what I was thinking too but my mom has a lot of pride it'll ruin her if she found out I ran away. Also I don't want to spend the rest of my life with a person I only meet once. Thanks anon I'll figure something out.

>>690026417
gotmehard/10

>>690027062
So is everyone, they just don't admit it.

>>690026417
I love shit this this.