>>689715496
Termites?

>>689715496

call the police for
- meth lab,
- drug dealing,
- 30 chinese sewing tshirts,
- 6yo rape,
- strange rotten smell,
- people praying in arabic,

be creative

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>>689716060

>- 30 chinese sewing tshirts,
Kek

OP leave something in the apartment and after you move out call him every day to see if he's found it and can get it back to you. Just leave messages and call at random times asking for whatever it was.

You can also ask for reference letters. Even if he doesn't want to give one you can call and ask.

Dead fish under floorboards

Topdeck

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=topdeck

Take a shit in the attic or something

>>689715716
Bingo , find a log with termites and place it near the house , let nature do the work for you

Give me his email
I know a good spammer for it
I mean, you could do it yourself
But I really want to

>>689717157
place it in the attic, keks when the house gets completely disintegrated

stop being a faggot. either leave the guy alone or tell him what you really think about his bullshit

>>689717293
boring

Cut his brake line, I'll bet that gives him a headache

>>689715496
Till up the front yard and plant some corn.

Mail bait is a good website
If you give us his email we can fill it with all sorts of shit
Then again we probably have a few whiteknights

>>689715716
I was thinking that or bed bugs but I dunno how to do that without bringing them to my next spot.

>>689716060
Fuck I don't wanna swat them, tho they deserve it.

>>689716597
Good idea.

>>689716934
Yeah, I was thinking food in the outlets.

Keep em coming this is great.

Put a bucket of water above the door so when he walks in it falls on his head xDD

>>689716934
Fish and termites under house?

>>689717458
if you can find a store the sells vape flavors, buy chicken and waffle, its the most putrid smell your ever smell just bomb his house with a few of those, and the house will be condemned within the week.

Take a big fat shit and put it in the fireplace

Not sure where you live op, but if you can trap a large rodent of sorts, generally of a vicious nature, keep it in there with some food and water so it has plenty of energy when dude shows up. I recommend a family of raccoons. If you're out west, I've heard armadillos are nasty little fuckers

>>689717740
this

termites definitely or spider eggs etc anything that multiplies really quick

mustard gas

> plant illigal drugs
> call police
> gets arrested
> jailtime
> profit

Make a few holes in the walls, place raw eggs in them, seal, paint. Traditional polish trick if the contractor fucks with the workers. Stinks really badly after a few weeks, and nobody knows what it is.

>>689715496
Kill him. It's only illegal if you kill a human landlords are not human

Put a cow in the ceilling. It usually takes a crane to get It out

>>689715496
Get into the plumbing and loosen something up behind a wall just enough so that it will drip just enough to puddle but not be noticed. Some years later he will have to replace the rotted wood and treat the area for mold and what ever else

>>689717901
Termites,eggs,and fish come on guys we need to unite

Say he is housing radical islams at half what you paid!

>>689717458
www.mailbait.info

>>689715496
curtain pole, put something rotten in there
or put something under floorboards etc, something that will start to give a stench in a few days, when you're gone

gradually flush clumps of plaster down the toilet, will clog badly eventually requiring him to spend thousands having the yard dug up to replace the pipes

>>689718216
i do like that one, did it to my last house with a cunt landlord

>>689717901

This muthafucka knows how to lay to waste

>>689715496
Get some termites and place them in the walls and under the floor boards. Maybe drill a hole some where and pour them in. Unscrew a power outlet (turn off the power first) and pour the termites into the wall cavity. He probably wont know for ages and the damage would cost a fortune to repair. He can't prove it was you who introduced the termites.

>>689717916
Not true despite your bad experiences. My landlord is actually a pretty cool dude. Doesn't give us any shit, only charges us late fee if we're over a week late on rent, never bothers us, maintains property on regular basis in summer months, rent is cheap with lawn care included. I got fucking lucky.

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leave little bowls or cups of rotting fruit with a bit of wine or juice in it around the basement or attic and clog all the sink drains with scraps of food then watch as the house gets infested with fruit flies and the bugs that like to eat them.

>>689718171
Is there an equivalent for postal junk mail?

Will a landscaping service dump a metric fuckton of dirt in a driveway if I pay for it by credit card?

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Rape your landlord

>>689715496
If there are any crawl spaces place shit that will smell foul in them, milk, cream cheese, fish etc, ontop of cupboards will work to,

This >>689717980

Flush a block of sodium down the toilet, explode the sewer pipes

>>689718407
Great idea, just go by the termite store this afternoon.

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>>689715496
House or apartment?

>>689718510
Just look through your magazines or look in the lobbies of random places. Ask if you can take the subscription card. They probably won't give a flying fuck. Now they're a member of home contractors weekly and parenthood tips from people who aren't actually fucking parents and should die in a fucking fire.

Two words: hidden cumjars

Wasps are never a bad idea, op. They love small enclosed areas to make their nests, any hole in wood or anything is perfect

>>689718608
if you have woods nearby go for a stroll into them, look around fallen trees and you should see some nests

>>689715496
Honey in corners and edges of the room, insects will swarm

>>689718608
My local national park has lots of termites. Just lift some old logs and look inside old tree stumps and you can find a fuck ton. You won't need many. They'll breed while chomping away at the wood in the walls.

>>689718660
House. I am renting a room.

>>689718807
LOL does he own the rest of the house?? If so, I think termites is our answer.

Op here. The ideas are great. The termite thing won't work, he just had the house fumigated and its under warranty for years.

take some potato and cut a wedge out of it then put some dirt in the opening and push the wedge back in.

Next take that potato and put in in a jar with water then seal the jar airtight. In 2-3 weeks you will have butric acid.

Pour the jar somewhere where it can soak in like a wooden surface. This will make the apartment smell so bad that no one will want to move in till the sprayed surface has been removed.

>>689715496
You are a fucking deadbeat. Broke ass cunt's like you complain about not having reasonable places to rent but then you abuse utilities if they are included and you're late with the rent on a regular basis, and trash the fucking place that the landlord has to pay to fix up. Get a fucking life you lazy fuck, maybe if you paid attention in school you wouldn't be working at the jack in the box now.

Live racoon in the room.

If you have any handyman skills you can unbolt the toilet, raise it slightly and destroy the wax seal. Toilet water will start slowly leaking out into the flooring around the toilet and cause mold. Depending on how it leaks and how fast, if it's slow enough you won't even notice. The toilet will just start smelling like shit and no1 will know why until the floor is completely fucked.

Also a week before you leave start pouring grease from fried food down his sinks and the tub without running the water. It'll flow down and start congregating in flat spots and eventually plug it. The store bought unplugger chemicals don't work very good on it so he will have to take the pipes out and scrape them clean or replace them, and it'll stink like ass if theirs rotting food stuck in the grease.

>>689719055
U mad bruh? Landlord/idf

find an empty cavity and put seaford / fish in it. it will stink out house and be hard to locate.

good places include: inside hollow curtain rails and top of blinds, under floor, wall cavity etc

i know people who have done this and if you are clever were you hide will be hard to located and even harder to rent out

Scrimps are nettet than fish and smaller so easier to hide.

>>689719204
Yeah because I actually work for a living, not like you fucking lazy entitled millennials that want everything handed to them in a silver platter. You would never think twice about how much it costs to run a home: mortgage, taxes, insurance, utilities, maintenance. All you do is whine about how much it costs YOU. Don't wanna rent, then get your lazy ass to work.

>>689719055
You've never been completely fucked by a landlord have you? I talked to a woman at my work yesterday who fixed up a bunch of stuff in her rental property and made a verbal agreement with the landlord that because she did $x worth of maint that she didn't have to pay rent for June. He then evicted her a week into June for not paying. It was stupid of this woman to not get this agreement in signed writing, but I do customer service for a very large car dealer, and I hear 'landlord from hell' sob stories on the reg. It disgusts me the kind of things these people will do.

>>689719396
That's brilliant. I think frozen food so it doesn't stinkat first is a good idea.

buy some habernero peppers at the grocery store and dice them up or put them in the blender. wipe down all the toilet seats/shower handles/window sills/ cabinet handles/ doorknobs with them

Guys we need something that will wreck this shithole house

>>689719582
Boomer detected. Look if the guy hadn't fucked me outta money I wouldn't care.

>>689715496
Nothing, you loser faggot. Tell us the whole story, bitch

>>689719582
Oh and if you think all landlords do the 'maintenence' part of it, you're dead fucking wrong. Last place I lived, it took this lazy motherfucker 14 phone calls and 6 fucking months to fix my air conditioning. SUMMER WAS FUCKING OVER BY THE TIME HE GOT THERE.

put fish and prawns and shit in the vents/curtain rods/floorboards/just anywhere he cant see. will work a treat

>>689719698

do this, but with ghost peppers.

Also, juice them, put juice on toilet paper.

Put a live nigger in the room.. Let it chimp out when it can't find the fried chicken and watermelon.

>>689715496
Dude hide some fresh fish in thr ceiling or in the walls, behind electrical sockets and shit. By the time your gone it will be nice and ripe smelling and a bitch to locate

Open 20 cans of tuna and put them in the attic and closets and wait for them to spoil

Go by the animal shelter and tell them you want about six feral barn cats. They'll usually adopt them out to farmers and landowners for vermin control since no one else can adopt them. Ask for the ones with the shittiest attitude. Drop them at the house and give them tuna, top shelf cat food, etc. Leave them access to inside the house. Buy some ammonia from the store and put it everywhere. It smells just like cat piss. The place will be overrun with cats, piss smell, fleas, etc. Call the city and health department. Cat infestation in a residential neighborhood is a big deal and could get the place condemned.

Open the panel box. Shut breakers off. Cut half of the wires to where they enter the box so they can't be spliced. Or put a lot of sheet metal behind the breakers so when they flip the main breaker, they shit themselves.

>>689719644
The process to get an eviction going is lengthy. So if is the case, she didn't know anything about renting

>>689720601
Bullshit. A 3 day pay or quit is easy as fuck to do. Then its enforced by sheriffs.

>>689720601
Yup this is bullshit. All they have to do is slap it on your door and that's it. You have 3 days to pack your shit and get the hell out.

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>>689718530
This guy

>>689719055
kek, landlord spotted

Fish and fruit OP I think are ur best choices..

>>689722467
Op here, agreed. Thanks for all the ideas.

>>689717386
Among other things

Brake fluid and pile of pool shock
Pour brake fluid on pile.
Leave

>>689717947
+10 for being an oldfag.

>>689715496

not recommending any of these, but i have heard these things are crazy to do:

>get locks changed
>super glue all windows shut
>paint the mirrors with liquid clear paint mixed with a very small amount of pthalo blue (Bob Ross style)
>for 3 straight days pee in the corner of the biggest carpeted room, let it dry completely, smell will never go away; bonus points for eating loads of asparagus along the way

Buy as much frozen fish as you can and hide them throughout the house.
>in the walls
>basement
>inside the toilet tank
>above the cupboards
The place will smell like hell and get infested with bugs. Plus they might have some seagull visitors on the roof.

>>689722741
Can't speak to your experience, OP, but I've had good and bad landlords - either way, I recommend walking away. Leaving things in the place with the intention to cause damage or disruption could very well land you in small claims court, and could also end up on a background check if he presses charges. Fish or shrimp or any other stinky material in any place it shouldn't be is going to be obviously intentional. And I'm guessing you'd really rather forget about him than keep getting dragged into this.

That said, if you're hell-bent on going that route, you're gonna want to make it less obvious. Pieces of shrimp or fish are going to look like dried out shrimp or fish when they finally are discovered. However, a nice paste or slurry created by a quick trip through the blender might not be so obvious. And with a little karo syrup mixed, it'll probably stick to the walls of air ducts and the like. Not that I condone such action.

>>689717386
you've seen too many movies, this shit doesn't work