I LIKE CHOCOLATE MILK!

DAMMIT COHAGEN

>>689626510
Well mars sucks, can't breath the air

"Did I shut the garage door?"

>>689626510
I can't wait to be the first person to jerk off on mars.

Take that space niggers.

Ayy lmao niqqurz succ my peaanus :)

Thanks, Lori.

>>689626510
"How the fuck do I get home?"

LEEEEEEEERRROOOOOOOYYYYYYYYYYY

JEEEENNNNKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

That's one dildo in my ass 10 billion more dildos to cum

>>689626510
Han Solo Dies

Traps aren't gay.

first

"Mars is okay. No sand niggers here."

>>689627108
"do I say it now?"

HI MOM

File: 1465622050212.gif (478 KB, 98x146) Image search: [Google]

478 KB, 98x146

I'd send this back too Nasa

>>689626510
"Welcome to mars, boys and girls, here's my tits with timestamp and a sharpie in my pooper"

"Why did i come here in the first place?"

>>689626510

FIRST

>>689627344
Didn't mean to link you, fag.

Mankind has conquered the god of war. Sounds like shit but it should be something like that.

File: kek him.png (129 KB, 300x276) Image search: [Google]

129 KB, 300x276

Kek is everywhere.

Dafuk am I doin' on Mars?

>>689626510
i am t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m and this is my planet XDDD!! *raises spork*

Hope someone TIVO's Another World for us.

>>689626510
Thank god there are no niggers or jews here. We can actually have a perfect world.

File: fMm6hsx.gif (2 MB, 314x222) Image search: [Google]

2 MB, 314x222

>>689626510
Space:
the final frontier.
These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise.
Its five-year mission: to explore strange new worlds,
to seek out new life and new civilizations,
to boldly go where no man has gone before.

Hitler did nothing wrong.

Tits or get the fuck off.

The classic: "Ayyy lmao"

>>689626510
Ayy lamo

>>689626510
"#AllLivesMatter"

"With this first step, we stand here not as divided individuals, but as a lament to what we are and can do as humanity."

Heeeerreeesssss Johnny!

File: 1461949155331.jpg (125 KB, 1920x1200) Image search: [Google]

125 KB, 1920x1200

I've found heaven. Our safe haven. Our new beginning. Our new home. Finally, peace at last.

fuck niggers

>>689626510
>see alien
>i am big cums
>360 and float away

>>689626510
niggers tongue my anus

>>689627709

What about the internet connection?

>>689626510
"Check 'em."

Please someone make a Mars Waifu

Where is my Plutonium P328
the earth is blocking my view of venus

>>689626510
Islam is a religion of peace

fuck 12 nigga

>>689628029
then promptly, and very loudly: "FUCK."

[falls to his knees screaming] YOU MANIACS! YOU BLEW IT UP! AH, DAMN YOU! GOD DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!!!!

Where are you, Terra Formars?

I stand in search of alien memes

Great!! I spent four years in a fucking can to go to the desert...

Fuck me...

Oh?, Hi Jimmy, Emila!

Take a look at the lawman beating up the wrong guy oh man wonder if he'll ever know, he's in the best selling show, is there life on maaaaaaaaaars?

Mars?! I wanted to walk all up and down Uranus.

What the fuck ? Why everything is so orange ? My eyes are starting to hurt

>>689626510
HOLY FUCKING CRAP I'M ON FUCKING MARS BITCHES!!!

File: image.jpg (62 KB, 618x456) Image search: [Google]

62 KB, 618x456

I claim this planet in the name of the earth!

IT'S A TRAP !

>>689628096
I like your style

>>689626510
Well, this ain't the kind of place to raise the kids. In fact, it's cold as Hell. And there's no one there to raise them if you did.

>>689626510
Whatever the hell they had me practice while I was back on Earth before launch, like Armstrong did.

Uncle Martin is right behind us

>>689628096
THERE WAS SUPPOSE TO BE AN EARTH-SHATTERING KABOOM

I hope it was worth it, this place is a shithole.

File: Alli.jpg (28 KB, 215x277) Image search: [Google]

28 KB, 215x277

>>689626510
No one will ever get to Mars. The PC crowd will sent a nigger and sandnigger along, causing the mission will self destruct.
>Alla Akbard--- Boom!

>>689626510
Hey guys! Comedy Shorts gamer here!

>>689628016
seconded

>>689628975
>Alla Akbard
Fucking hell mate.

Doesn't matter what you say, as long as you remember to blame ebaums.

Aww, shit, it's Doctor Manhattan! Wazzup, homie?

One small step for keem, on giant leap for keemkind.

And that kids is how I met your mother.

>>689626510
"Huh, this shit is really red. I want to go back home"

>>689626510
"I didn't know mars had an anus"

>>689627406
Glorious

>>689628975
They'll need women for it to fail, remember the Challenger

>>689626510
All your base are belong to us

>>689626510
ITS FUCJKING

>"THAT'S ONE SMALL STEP FOR AAAAAA MAN, ONE GIANT LEAP FOR MANKIND" the fucking signal stuttered , FUCK WHY DO PEOPLE NOT KNOW THIS, IT WOUDLNT MAKE ANY FUCKING SENSE HE EVEN CONFIRMED IT

>sorry for my autistic rant, im high af so i think thats why

>>689626510
"did someone say... spiderman planet?"

>>689626510
It is actually
"and one giant leap for mankind"
But the com leaked and it wasnt transmitted

>>689630096
Sorry, I know that's what he claimed, but I've listened to it many times, and just can't hear a space for a signal dropout long enough for a word -- or hear one at all.

He just flubbed his line -- probably he was pretty excited and all.

>>689630522
well i just listened to the youtube vid and youre right
hmm just based it off his calim lol
i think i would have been like

>holy FUCK IM ON THE FUCKING MOON

so i dont blame him

>>689629251
aahh thanks for the nostalgia

"At least it wasn't a nigger"

"This is Major Tom to Ground control. You've really made the grade."

>>689630336
That is more plausible, since there is a pause there, but it does not sound like a com dropout -- I suspect he paused when he realized he had dropped the "a" in the first bit.

"I left the keys for the Mars rover on my bedside table. Mummas gonna be pissed."

>>689627929
Was this from somewhere?

"Man that was a loooonnngggg flight. This better be worth it".

>>689626510
How do I sprint?

>"This is the superior planetary federation of mars and we declare war on planet earth"

>>689626510
Snootch to the mother fuckin ooch bitches

I think i just sharted

File: 1406928287020.png (193 KB, 300x343) Image search: [Google]

193 KB, 300x343

First, Mars.

Then, Uranus.

>>689626510
LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEROOOOOOOOOY JEEEEEEEENKIIIINS

ayyy lmao

I wouldn't say anything. Take that society. Also, is no one going to point out the giant butthole?

File: image.jpg (34 KB, 320x320) Image search: [Google]

34 KB, 320x320

>>689627333
>>689627709
>>689627967
>>689628016
>>689628975
>>689630856
This thread is summer incarnate.

Hahaha, nigger faggot nigger nigger jew faggot Trump nigger!

winkey spanker, make me danker

YABBA DABBA DOOOOOO

john madden john madden

File: image.jpg (53 KB, 500x375) Image search: [Google]

53 KB, 500x375

>>689632335
And we have ourselves a winner.

fuck niggers

Probably make a reference or steal a line from RvB

"My life and indeed everything we as humans thought we knew pales into insignificane as I gaze upon what I thought would be an empty planet. Truly, I was wrong. Goodbye."

*stop talking and break all camera equipment whilst making an odd whooping noise*

>>689626510
"ALLE SIE JUDEN MÜSS STERBEN!!!"

Fucking Ping.

File: oshit.png (39 KB, 500x385) Image search: [Google]

39 KB, 500x385

>>689626510
o shit
waddap

You put the fun in funeral

Everything you are now seeing is recorded on a studio set in Bolivia. I'm breaking rank and telling everybody the TRUTH about NASA!

File: 5602160+_e2617f8982e7ec76c36bdce1c5511039.jpg (5 KB, 200x200) Image search: [Google]

5 KB, 200x200

"Apparently we're space niggers, so we crashed on the moon."

>>689628104
Blows up planet

>>689626510
too high to come up with the perfect words but something along this/ same meaning

>Once human beings were vulnerable of their Earth, allowing and nourishing their home; now Humans have a say in it.
or
>We have always looked up in awe and wonder, pondering what is out there; Now we can look ahead, to the beginning of our own Human odyssey.

OR

IN PALPATINES VOICE

> WE ONCE KILLED AND FOUGHT FOR ONE WORLD, NOW WE BEGAN THE SOLAR EMPIREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

"Allahu Akbar!!"
for an explosive start

>>689626510
"One small st- wait. What is that? Ah! It's running for me! Gahk! It's got -!"
Then I'd turn the mic off and kill my crewmates (if any).

File: 1465944761640.jpg (97 KB, 915x960) Image search: [Google]

97 KB, 915x960

>>689626510
Niggers tongue my anus

For the first time in years, I step onto solid ground, over a hundred million miles away from home. Finally, I have peace from my wife's constant nagging, am I right fellas?

>>689626510
4chan is the place to go

Hey whaddya know, it was made from gingerbread the whole time!

>>689626510
What the FUCK is th...

Damn, Earth was so much better than this. Why did I come here again?

>>689627942
LAME
CONSIDERING MARS IS LITERALLY UNHABITABLE UNTIL FULL BRITISH COLONY MODE ON IT

NIGGER

"This is still better than Africa"

File: ayyyyyyy fat.jpg (45 KB, 634x423) Image search: [Google]

45 KB, 634x423

>>689628016
old new meme lad

I claim this planet in the name of Lesotho.

>>689628122
sweet dubs

>>689626510
my balls are about to explode. where are the martian sluts at?!

Oh for fucks sake, the wifi up here is shit, I'm coming back home.

File: crow.jpg (45 KB, 599x518) Image search: [Google]

45 KB, 599x518

>>689632999
fuck your trips you summer bitch

bush did 9/11

>>689626510
ALLAHU AKBAR HOMOS!!!!!!

>>689634448
don't disrespect maggie or i'll tell yves you cocksucker

Well fuck my cunt and call me sally, we're on mars.

um thats a pan

File: 1451903422252.jpg (20 KB, 316x203) Image search: [Google]

20 KB, 316x203

The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start

"This fo' tha fuckin' 816 nigguh!"

Reactions would be great

>>689626510
>"Armstrong said his step on Luna was a giant leap for mankind. This.. *dramatic pause*. This is comparable to getting to the gates of Heaven."
>"Thank Jesus there aren't a lot of bulls here. Poor fella would go mad."
>"I've seen Everest from the top. Can't hold a candle to this thing"
(Olympus)
>"Houston, I think I've gone mad with rage. All I'm seeing is red."

very quietly, and not distinctly:

"move that microphone boom"

Then some sort of inspirational line.

conspiracy theorists will go NUTS for decades after, trying to work out what was said, editing the audio recordings and filtering the channels, and clearing out noise, arguing among themselves about it.

it would be priceless.

I hate niggers

>>689626510
One man has just landed, but we just expanded mankind

>>689626510
"It's beautiful, it really is, but I'm still going to die one day, and in the end it will all be meaningless."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eVTXPUF4Oz4

Hitler did nothing wrong!

Something Cr1tikal has said, like:
"This shit kind of reminds me of Finding Nemo, except instead of finding nemo, I'm trying to figure out wherever the fuck I am."

>>689626510
>Today we prove that man is no longer bound
>by our genes
>by our fate
>by our home.
>Today we prove that mankind can accomplish anything
>through our desire to learn
>through our will to create
>through the joint endeavours of ten thousand generations.

>>689626510
"Luke, i am your father"

File: anti-trump.jpg (134 KB, 768x1024) Image search: [Google]

134 KB, 768x1024

>>689626510
>You just landed on mars and you are about to step foot onto the planet. What would you say to mark such an historic event?

It's one small step for a genderfluid person, it's almost as giant a leap for the world as unisex toilets.

Fuck off space niggers, this solar system is full

>>689627766
who is this bitch?

File: 01153_1829_1200x.jpg (99 KB, 1200x900) Image search: [Google]

99 KB, 1200x900

The Children of Earth now walk upon the Red Planet.

Damn I could go for a suck right now

>>689626510
SCIENCE BITCHES!

Cooperation, has concurred the god of war

>>689626510
Im Oficially the Rocket Man.

>>689626510
if Lenin could see us now

>>689626510
Suck my dick, Mark Watney.

>>689626510
Is there any way to weaponize this?

>>689637771
>689637771
>637771
>7771
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

"Shit, Nigga. It's Red as hell. I repeat, Houston, It's red as hell."

>>689638108
topkek

>>689626510

Can't wait to shitpost this on 4chan

>>689637771
does ANYONE get that reference

>>689626510
"SWEET! I found a quarter."

GIVE ME TITTIES OR GIVE ME DEATH

File: _86898944_lenin.jpg (74 KB, 1024x576) Image search: [Google]

74 KB, 1024x576

>>689637410
Comrade!!!!

>>689634417
>implying the first guy on mars is going to come back to earth...

>>689632999
You remember when saying nigger was funny?

>>689630690
it's not a stutter, it's actually an accent of ohio or wherever he was from. they mush a into words, so the low fidelity just made it sound like man. His accent.

File: Ozzy.jpg (103 KB, 500x324) Image search: [Google]

103 KB, 500x324

>>689626510

NIGGERS TONGUE MY ANUS!

File: pcakehouse.gif (1 MB, 245x165) Image search: [Google]

1 MB, 245x165

>>689626510
Where is pancakes house?

File: fuckthis.gif (650 KB, 350x204) Image search: [Google]

650 KB, 350x204

>>689632999
pull that trigger you waste of matter

>>689626510

我们首先使它

LIFE IS LIKE A NIGGER HERE IN OLD NIGS. I HATE FUCKING NIGGERS, NIGGERS SUCK DICK. THEY'RE ALL POOR LIKE OBAMA. FUCK MICHELLE OBAMA. NIGGERS! I HATE THEM!

>>689627060
>niggers
lost

File: received_232701733783285.jpg (376 KB, 1024x1525) Image search: [Google]

376 KB, 1024x1525

>>689626510

>>689627929
>we stand here not as divided individuals, but as a lament to what we are and can do as humanity.
best so far

>>689631058
nope, because otherwise "Man" in the first half would refer to mankind.

>>689636908
rolling for this!

>>689642907
Sauce?

>>689626510
"Is that Neil Armstrong quote copy righted? Or can I just say Fuck niggers?"

>>689626510
To infinity and beyond!

>>689626510
"That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind."

Now every other planet we land on after that, the first person there has to say that.

Armstrong claimed that he said "One small step for A man" not just "for man". Makes more sense but rewatching the footage you can clearly can't hear him say "A"

>>689626510
Are you sure that's Mars? It looks like a still from a colonoscopy.

>>689645044
Testament to the fact that even a seasoned, stoic test pilot can become overwhelmed by the grandeur of the universe, and blow a prepared line.

>>689626510
FUCK HER RIGHT IN THE PUSSY

>>689646059
Yep, really thinking about it gives me chills. So cool.