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>>689519023
What's small and gay all over?

Op dick

>>689519115
The weak should fear the strong

>>689519115
don't post answer faggot

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>>689519115

what has 31 different names but only consists of 2 shapes?

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>>689519271

>>689519302
Snow?

>>689519302
Black baby daddies

>>689519302
A shapeshifting jew

>>689519302
your mom

>>689519417
*mum

>>689519302
Can it be more than 31? Or exacrly 31?

Two bodies have I, though both joined in one. The more I stand the faster I run.

What am I?

>>689519468
Catdog

If the Abrahamic God is Omnipotent and Omnipresent; can he create a being more knowledgeable or powerful?

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>>689519302
OP

knock knock

>>689519302
Baskin Robbins ice cream cone

>>689519552
Who's there

>>689519552
Come in

>>689519618
50 dead faggots

>>689519647
no

>>689519023
So, what am I?

>>689519302
A cock

A penis has 2 shapes (boner/floppy) and at least 31 names

>>689519654
50 dead faggots who

>>689519726
Exactly

>>689519726
50 dead faggots who went clubbing in Florida

alone I fall but in numbers I fly

>>689519712
this comes somewhat closer to the answer, but nope

>>689520022
Sjw mods?

>>689520223
Fuck I should have seen that coming but no.

>>689520022
Threads on /b/

>>689519302
Gender?

>>689521089
yup

Hour glass, gg ez

What costs nothing, but is worth everything. Weighs nothing, but lasts a lifetime. That one person can't own, but two can share?

>>689521706
Friendship

>>689521706
Happiness or love or some stupid sentimental emoticon.

>>689520022
Yea

>>689521968
I dunno

>>689521706
First trimester abortion

You can waste it, but you can't taste it.
You can give it and you can take it.
You can kill it, but its not alive.

>>689519302
Tits

>>689522062
Time

>>689522010
Correct

Say you're a ship captain in the far away time of before refrigeration. You want to eat lamb meat at sea, fresh, but it spoils after like a day or whatever, and I'd you drag it behind the ship in the water to keep it cold motherfucking sharks eat it. So what do you do?

>>689520022
Hint: I smell like shit when you burn me

>>689520022
feathers

>>689522156
Bring a lamb on the ship with you.

There are three men an a boat with a pack of cigarettes and no matches. How did they manage to smoke?

>>689522269
Ding ding

>>689520022
a jet engine

>>689522281
Lightning

>>689519949
only 49 faggots... One was an hero that killed 49 faggots.

These are three requirements to be President:

1. Be over 35.
2. Be a resident of the United States for 14 years.
3. Be a natural-born citizen.

But there's one more. What is it?

>>689522281
they have a lighter or some shit that isn't fucking matches

>>689522280
Yeppers

A man has 5 children.
Half of them are boys.
How can this be?

>>689522429
>>689522494
No. Do you not have access to a search engine?

>>689522461
Did you know our first president was not a natural born citizen?

>>689522548
I don't want to cheat, cheating is for niggers

>>689522503
His kids are a rounding error.

Or one is adopted. Or uh, maybe they are all boys so half of them is boys. Oh maybe dad counts in the group so there's six and he has two daughter s.

>>689522503
All boys

>>689522557
Do you know I don't give a fuck?

>>689522281
They smoke each other's dicks? Shit i don't know

>>689522461
Be elected, by the electoral college, but electorates always vote how they pledge so the system is transparent to the voter and it's like the people vote directly for the president.

>>689522785
I know the answer and it's fuxking stupid don't even bother.

>>689521706
A donated, carbon-fiber, double-ended dildo.

>>689522785
Correct!

What animal eats with its tail?

It can be hot, it can be cold.
It can be young, but rarely old.
Its often bad but never good.
What is it?

>>689522860
That's the one, although I don't know what the lecture was for. It's funnier when people just say:

Get elected.

>>689522930
Asians

>>689522959
A muslem exploding?

>>689522930
bad-dragon customers

>>689522930
I'd reckon any animal with a tail, unless they're able to remove it whenever they eat, which doesn't seem possible. But hey, I haven't seen every animal so fuck if I know.

>>689522729
#rekt

>>689523087
Yippers

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>>689521706
dank mem

>>689521875
Yes

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>>689523250

>>689522503
Them refers to the man + the children

a man 2 boys and 3 girls

>>689522959
revenge

Two men walk into a bar, and order the same drink. The drinks are made identically, each containing the same amount of ice and liquid, from the same source. One man finishes his drink quickly and leaves, at home he experiences some mild discomfort. The other man lingers, drinking his beverage slowly before he returns home, and dies. Why did one man survive and the other die?

>>689523464
i was thinking blood but this seems more likely

>>689519468
A dam

>>689523502
It was a gay bar. A Muslim entered after the first guy left.

>>689523502
The ice had poison and didn't melt properly cuz he drank it quick

>>689523502
Poison in ice cubes

>>689523645
He went home. This automatically s
precludes that from being the answer.

>>689523660
>>689523677
Damnit. Apparently everyone knows that one

>>689519468
Shadow

If you pick an answer for this question randomly, what is the propability of being right?
A.) 25%
B.) 0%
C.) 50%
D.) 25%

Some cukcs from a country are defending the use of guns while being shot by everyone.

who dat ?

>>689519501
x does not equal negative x

>>689523859
If all flims are flams and all flams are flues then how many dildoes can I fit in my ass before my rectum prolapses?

>>689523859
gorramit

>>689523859
None of the above?

>>689523859
Zero

There is no right answer, hence you'll always be wrong.

>>689524135
Ya dingus.

>>689522959
'Cause you're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in then you're out
You're up then you're down

>>689522281
>>689522429
>>689522494
>>689522785


They throw a cigarette off the boat, so it becomes a cigarette lighter.

>>689523502
Second man was drunk while he was driving home.

>>689524536
Yes.

If you know the answer don't post it, let someone else. I don't know what autistic amusement levels you can get from the intellectual equivalent of round peg in round hole anyway. We're strangers, you aren't going to look smart.

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>>689519487
Kek

>>689524907
Is this a riddle?

>>689524261
Explain how im wrong

>>689524819
>>689524536
K, but HOW DID THEY MANAGE TO SMOKE?

>>689525041
They are in a river of flames and simply light the cigs with the flames around them

Two babies are born on the same day of the same month of the same year from the same biological mother but they aren't twins. Why?

>>689525249
The two babies have different fathers

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Ah a riddle thread how wonderful. You do realize what time it is?

>>689525152
¿
With that logic you could also just say that one of them can breathe fire.

>>689525249
>from the same biological mother
Please clarify exactly what this means.

>>689525382
wellfare

>>689525249
They are puppies or kittens

>>689525249
The babies mothers are twins.

>>689525452
Who's to say they can't

Can you prove none of them can breathe fire?

>>689525605
Would those not be paternal twins?

>>689525488
The two babies came from the same vagina

>>689525724
fak, i mean fraternal

liek the luke and leia

>>689525736
I know the answer to this one! It's no.

>>689522038
Kek

>>689525724
No, that's not how they are categorized in animals

>>689522062
Cum

>>689525724
No, that's not how they are categorized in the animal kingdom

>>689525605
Nope, the babies are human

>>689525249
Triplets

>>689526030
Winner

>>689519468
Its an hourglass filthy casuals

>>689526008
>>689526008
Should of been in the riddle. lack of info invalidates your riddle

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Spiderman

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>>689526255

>>689522959
Death?

>>689522959
A thread on /b/

>>689526030
>>689526096
Twins is a subset of triplets. If one died, would you call the remaining two "the Fuckface triplets"?

>>689522281
That's a stupid one.
They threw one cigarette overboard and made the boat a cigarette lighter.

>>689526695
Wouldn't that mean they all get incinerated?

>>689526753
No, because almost no one dies in the television adaptation of silver age Batman.

>>689522875
my sides

He is our hero.
We must get rid of him.
He must be stepped on.
We love him.

Who is he?

>>689526753
The riddle never said they were "on" the boat

>>689519023
Why is a raven like a writing desk?

>>689522503
trap

Those who start it don't participate, those participating have no say in it, the only real winners say they don't participate at all and everyone say they hate it.

What am I talking about?

>>689527233
War

>>689527343
yay

I am tasty but also a lie.

What am I?

>>689519468
A nigger

>>689527644
No.

A homeless man wins the lottery. He buys food for his dog, some new clothes and a decent meal. He smokes a cigarette and walks up to the nearest pretty lady he can see and asks for her number. As he gets her number a new chapter in his life begins. A life of happiness and joy. To top the night off he strolls downtown and walks into a bar.

Why did the story end?

>>689527644
freedom

>>689527899
It was a dream or le orlando edgy shitpost

>>689528064
Nope

>>689527899
He died of his head injury when he walked into that "bar"

>>689528237
Would've been ok with knocked out, but yes.

>>689527644
Wow. Really is summer if no one can answer this one...

A newlywed couple is driving down an old country lane when their automobile runs out of petroleum. The husband decides to trek to the gas station, an hour's walk down the road to acquire fuel for their car. He tells his wife before he departs: Lock the doors, roll up the windows, and don't permit anyone entry while I am away. With that, he departs, empty fuel canister in hand. When he returns, two hours later, he finds the car doors still locked, and the windows unshattered. Despite this, the wife is dead and a stranger is in the car. Who is the stranger and how did the wife die?

>>689528402
I know it, but I'm not telling anyone.

>>689528402
We can but choose not to. Puzzle game from 2007.

>>689528407
Shotgun wedding, stranger is baby, wife died in childbirth

>>689528751
Wrong.

Lights out
Silence
Dreams

I sense you
See you

Dreaming
Awestruck

Bewildering
Or is it just me?
Many tell me I'm crazy
But what am I trying to tell you?

>>689519487
i fucking love you

>>689525025
you did that yourself

I am a biggest lie in human history, made up by fucking jews, what am i?

>>689529036
that you forgot how to get to tumblr

what glides though the sky but stands still when up high

>>689528407
Easy, the vagina troll killed her. Everyone knows that the vagina troll awakens upon marriage and kills the woman if her hymen has been broken and it is able to escape.

>>689529397
a satellite? In geostationary orbit (which is high) they are still relative to the ground.

>>689529339
Try again

>>689529423
Not exactly wrong, but not the answer I seek.

I'm light as a feather, but even the strongest can't hold me for long.

A hobo can create one whole cigarette from 7 cigarette butts. If this hobo finds 49 cigarette butts, how many cigarettes can he make?

>>689529724
A feather!

>>689528407

the stranger is the baby
the wife died and became a mother

>>689522729
You need a little less edge on that.

>>689529909
Wrong.

>>689529724
A breath.