ITT: POST YOUR SECRETS
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
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ITT: POST YOUR SECRETS
No, NSA.
>>689509601
I like country music.
>>689509601
I'm a radical islamist trapped in a gay mans body. Club scene is target rich, if you know what I'm sayin though.
>>689509777
checked.
I'm engaged to be married, and arranging to meet and run away with a married girl in america. I cant bring myself to break off my engagement and she hasn't told her husband.
Flights have been paid for.
I'm gay and I have already had sex but noone in my fundamentalist christian family knows.
I've been dating a wonderful man for three and a half months and I'm already confident I want to marry him and start a family.
>>689510483
well that seems nice, why are you keeping that a secret?
>>689509601
Tripping very thirsty can't figure out which board I'm on...
>>689510676
you're on r9k
I am actually from Finland.
>>689510812
fuck Finland to tho
the majority of all tv I watch is anime
I used to be a manslut on kik.
I'm in a relationship since 4 years and still virgin...
she's afraid of it
>>689510979
put your foot down before you get pussy whiped my man
I am a pretty much everyone's punching bag
I jack off to other girls, while dating one. And lie to my girlfriend when she asks "Are you jacking off to others? Be honest."
>>689510600
It's not a secret to everyone but no one on 4chan knows me so it's a secret to /b/
>>689510979
You must have a monster cock m8
I jack off to my mom panties and i have been doin it since 14.
She's aware of it but it's too embarrased to tell me something.
>>689511021
Awful situation ... hurts bad and relationship suffers
My car's mom tried to finger me in the back of my friend
>>689510979
4 years? I don't know which one of you is worse
>>689511030
hello ked
>>689511040
....
>>689511280
wat
I put whipped creme on my dick and had my dogs lick it up. I was 13. My family and I still live with these dogs. No one knows.
I support Donald trump as the next us pres
Why is this a secret? Because I publicallg support Bernie because I like getting pussy
>>689511280
>my car's mom
>car's mom
>my sides
>>689511231
wish you were right m8
but she's simply afraid of losing her virginity 'cause it hurts to try
I had my first BBC when I was 15. AMA
>>689511321
Who is Ked?
>>689511249
Your both retarded.. I mean 4 years.. That's just ubsurd
>>689509601
One of my best friends little sister has sucked my dick multiple times now in the past couple months. I'm always almost blackout when it happens, and I'm never able to finish. She's not a looker, but fuck I have wanted to just bust all down her throat during those times just once. Sadly, I'll never get to as I had to stop facilitating this when she started saying "if you don't fuck me I'll be disappointed". Bitch started to actually like me and I can't have that.
All my friends are from 4chan
>>689511488
how far advanced is your aids
>>689511473
are you at least getting blowjobs?
>>689511536
I guess it's wasted time to explain
I miss her
>>689511714
getting anything except of sex
>>689511789
Nudes?
>>689511830
OH GOD DUDE THATS SAD
She minds if you would cheat on her?
>>689511675
Don't have aids.
>>689511977
Dubs confirmed
i didn't grow up on a farm :P
>>689509601
I really want to kill myself, nobody but me knows this.
I have an amazing gf, but I think I like one of my classmates in college because she competes with me in everything. That shit is diamonds for me.
>>689511280
My friend's mom tried to finger me in the back of my car?
>>689511830
pretty fucked, bro. No chance of getting her drunk and trying her on small dildos or shit like that?
I'm in an 8-year relationship and I've never seen my gf naked. weird shit happens for all couples.
>>689511830
Life is hard, just buy a fleshlight.
>>689512095
carmom fingerfriend.
I can easily understand the calculus and physics required to finish my degree, but I choose not to go back to school.
I've had sex with a passed out friend.
>>689510979
Anon, let me tell you a story.
I dated a girl for 3 years. We never boned, I was a virgin. After the 3 years I found out that she cheated on me multiple times with different people, all who she let go further than me. Then we just had a friends with benefits deal going on for a while. We took a trip across the country for a week and on day fucking one she decides we can't be fwb anymore. Then when we get back from the trip she tries to make me promise not to date anyone for a year or so because she isn't going to because she's torn up about our shit and how she treated me. She thought maybe later we could get back together. I told her sure, but didn't really care at this point. Within a year she was married.
Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks. Do what you want, but I would advise to start looking elsewhere. Especially if you're around the age of 18-21 or younger.
I once pooped inside of a fountain when i could not find a bathroom. I was 6.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sdeOr5Wr0vY
>>689512108
>never seen naked
WHUT? Explain..
>>689511675
the third trimester :(
I smashed the game and picked the pieces up.
>>689511963
she's the jealousy in person, men
can't even care about a good friend 'cause it's a female
Today i cheated to my gf for the second time, i fucked a friend from school
>>689511356
>>689511356
>>689511469
>>689512095
Missing the joke at the speed of Autism...
My ex girlfriend of a few years ago's younger sister had a sleepover with three of her friends and I got stuck babysitting them because I didn't want to go out with my ex, two of them jerked me off under a blanket while we were watching a movie. I was only with that girl for another two months and on three other occasions they blew me and jerked me off while my gf was asleep. Never told anyone about that.
>>689509601
i'm hitler
>>689512199
that's a story, anon
I'm looking elsewhere, but try to keep her
Yes, 20 ... worst age for this shit
>>689511415
But Trump bitches bathe more, and on average are hotter than Bernie bitches. You're doing it wrong kid.
>>689510772
Glad I'm not on 4cchin
>>689512505
or just their scapegoat
I used to have this huge crush on my 2nd grade teacher. I jacked off during class with her right in front of me (I sat in the front of class kek.) I used to have a shitton of sexual fantisies with her. I'm really surprised no one found out, or I think so.
>>689512214
she's always worn at least one top when every time I can see her for the entire 8 years. even in the shower. usually at least two or three items of clothing, but I can get her down to one when she's drunk.
She hasn't slipped up once. Bad self esteem and body image.
>slept with a married man multiple times
>had sex for money
>had sex for drugs
>lie to my friends and family
>lie to [[[[[[myself]]]]]]
>love diazepam
>hate myself
>tried cleaning up my life dozens of times but i'm a failure
>>689510812
My great-great-grandfather was from Finland.
I accidentally flew my dad's plane into the twin towers...
>>689511789
She gonna be one ugly bitch around 25 years of age, so dont
>>689511789
I grouped her ass at summoners con last year when the hall was packed and I was easily able to get away with it . I've only told my LoL group about it.
Had sex with my french teacher and got good grades without doing shit,
PD: She's 52, married and has 3 kids
>>689512838
She's dead
>>689512690
My mom is that descrption.
Do you have some dream that you want to achieve?
I'm purposely a dick to overweight patients that I deal with
I hate most of the people around me, I'm so bored of their shit.
>>689513033
Same
I've lied to my friends and took their money a lot of times thanks to those lies.
>>689512965
I'm not old enough to be your mom. My dream is to work at a day care or in any way helping children with developmental issues. I'm studying for it now.
>>689509601
I raped and killed my daughter while I might have been possessed.
>>689513102
Even when they were friends of mine. I just can'ts stand what they say or do, that's all bullshit.
I attempted to cheat on my gf with some mid tier 40 year old milf.
Nothing happened, offered her my number, but nothing happened, just talked a bit and fucked off.
I regret trying. My gf is chubby, she's no looker, but i think she genuinely cares for me.
Wish I never tried, just got bored with the sex, but now I'm absolutely terrified of my gf finding out.
Dunno how people live with cheating on their other unless they honestly dislike them.
It's eating me alive man. I feel awful. I hope she never finds out.
>>689512938
Oh? Good then, she will never cuck you with a nigger than
>>689509601
I have spent more than 25 years teaching (Arts subject) in a leading (Russell Group) British university with entirely ficticious "qualifications" (I claim a Ph.D. In fact, I don't even have a single "A" Level.). No-one questions my position. I have been interviewed on tv and radio many times over the years, and was a semi-regular panelist on a radio arts programme until quite recently. I have had papers published in a number of journals. I don't believe I have ever been suspected by anyone, even though my story/chronology would stand up to no analysis at all. Even my wife doesn't know, and I'm fine with that.
I'll retire within the next three years and will never tell anyone aside from "tell us your secrets" boards, which must have some kind of psychological significance.
>>689513285
I suppose
>>689513182
I hope you have success.
Good luck.
I lie a lot about my life and make histories for being more interesting.
>>689513182
that's pretty nice anon. I work at a support organisation for people with intellectual/learning disabilities.
It can be completely fucked but also rewarding.
protip: don't mention the drugs and whoring at the job interview. Drug addictions and self hate are fine as long as you can hide them.
>>689512840
Awe man, that's awesome. I saw her but was to afraid. Guess I'll never get the chance to say hello.
I say to people I drink only at parties. But the truth is that I drink almost daily and I need it in order to be a happy person, otherwise I'm stressed, sad and bored.
>>689511629
Oooh my!
So, we're friends?
>>689512541
Try leaving your mom's basement
>>689513594
friends? you're first in line to be my best man!
are you free next weekend? We need to do the suit fitting soon.
>>689509601
Ten years I broke into Northwestern Lehigh High School and stole 28 laptop computers and a projector.
I did it the night of labor day (I think, maybe memorial day) when all the police were busy, expecting to trip the school's alarm system.
I climbed on top of the roof and entered from the second story window. Using a BB gun, I shot the double pane glass three times in a triangle shape, then smashed through with a mallet.
I kicked out the glass and made my way inside. Down the stairwell. And to the first classroom nearest the back exit of the school.
Using the same mallet, I smashed through the window on the door and unlocked it. The laptops were all on a cart. So I pushed the whole cart outside through the exit.
I chose this exit because it was directly behind the cafeteria. It was where the food deliveries were made. There was a delightful loading Bay all set up. I had already parked my truck here before my stunt. I had covered the license plate with white paper.
I pushed the laptops out, pushed them directly into the back of the truck, and I was gone.
The entire event took approximately 6 minutes.
I wore a second pair of clothes under the ones I intended the camera to see. I chose specific clothing to be filmed. I went to a store called "Against All Odds" and spent $300 on some extremely "ghetto" clothing. Baggy capris were the urban style at the moment, so I paired them with a XXXL Miskeen original t shirt, and an oversized Miskeen zip up, sequined hoodie. I also wore latex gloves with cotton gloves over top.
I hail from an a aristocratic family and hold the highest disdain for representative democracy.
Also, I despise being ridiculed for my social etiquette by commoners.
>>689513430
Thanks
>>689513506
Of course I won't mention it at a job interview...
>>689512199
You're weak.
>>689513506
I remember an anon telling how he had to prevent the retardeds from masturbating.
Bizarre.
>>689513713
I stopped at a horse farm half a mile down the road. I placed the top layer of clothing into a trash bag that already had three bricks and threw it into the watering pond. I then drove the haul to a friend's house where we stashed all the laptops in false bottom dressers in his basement.
The alarms were never tripped because the janitors never set them the night before.
The doors were left wide open for three days (because of holiday) and no one had discovered it until the next school day.
Mfw the newspaper report claimed it was "three black males"
Mfw the governor himself came to the school to speak about the "monster" who did this (the laptops were part of a federal grant to keep public schools "competitive")
I quickly learned that the laptops (MacBook Pros) were worth much more as parts than they were whole computers. So over the course of five months I parted out the laptops and sold them on the Internet via eBay to buyers in China, Russia and France.
I used the profits I made from the sale (approx $72,000) to put myself almost entirely through college.
Another local kid in the area started telling everyone he did it. He was arrested months and months later and sentenced to eighteen months in juvenile detention.
I was never a suspect.
I still have the projector.
I date girls for a long time, even when I don't like them at all, just because they pay my food, clothes, and stuff. I'm basically a parasitic shit.
>>689509601
i'm in love with my best friend and it's fucking me up inside
>>689512690
Hi Anx
>>689513473
I do this too.
I got no good stories to tell so I make shit up, I have a decent imagination so I have a bit of fun with it. Always keep the stories reasonable though, obviously.
Rarely tell people about myself but when I do, it's mostly bullshit aside from music and vidya tastes.
>>689513713
How much did you make from selling them?
27, still a virgin male
>>689513841
Hi stranger.
I am a manager at a major resort and am watching it crash and burn and have to deal with all the guest complaints. I'm extremely good at it but each time I have to fake understanding, concern, and remorse I feel like I am losing a part of myself. I find the personality I use to deal with guests sometimes bleeds into my personal life; treating my family and girlfriend with the same techniques I use on some shithead guest. I am walking this fine line of my own personality and a character I created (Hunter S. Thompson / Duke?). Behind the counter I am vile, and despise you...but I don't think I have ever had a guest leave without thanking me and taking my business card.
>>689513825
Are you both dudes?
>>689513733
the job interview thing was a joke. but don't worry too much about your past, you'll find a lot of people in the social-work area have some shit in their past or personal lives.
>>689513746
I recall that. Other people at work get that regularly but I've avoided it so far.
One time I was over at my girlfriends house. She fell asleep and I was gonna go take a piss. Turns out her mom also came in, and was like "Shit, I'm sorry". We kind of both awkwardly laughed and she left. As I finished and left, she sad "Oh by the way Anon, I wanna show you something. I followed her to her room and she locked the door. I already saw too many movies so I knew what was happening. I mean I was kind of nervous but damn she had a good ass and boobs and looked hella great. She grabbed my cock and put a finger to my mouth. We had sex on her bed and she gave me the best sex I've ever had in my entire life. Better than my girlfriends. It's been about a year and a half since that happened, and my girlfriend still doesn't know. Also, me and her mom still hook up every now and then.
I don't care about anything or anyone, I have nothing to live for, Im often fantasizing about death and what comes after this life. I want to be a great person and have a positive impact on the world. I'm broke, divorced, crippled, have a kid I've not seen in 4 years, I live with my grandparents. I'm 30. I can't kill myself. I haven't left my bedroom in 5 months except to eat, shower, and shit. I'm pretty decent looking, used to date amateur lingerie models. I don't know what happened to my brain, I assume the wreck, but I don't know how to change
>>689513798
I hear that. Only I do it to not feel so lonely.
Ugly chicks are the only females i can relax around.
>>689513988
Anon sincerely find that stuff gross, unless it's my family in the fuckinh help i would do that kind of work.
I sucked the Dick of a buddy of mine when I was 14. I was confused. When I was 17, I called a late night hotline where people meet and this black guy picked me up, sucked my Dick in his car then dropped me back home. Am I bi? Im 22 now, and always have been confused. Nobody knows about this. Mind you, Im a decently attractive guy and have slept with roughly about 20 women since I had a puberty spurt when I turned 18. Advice?
>>689512048
Anon, If you're still lurking, cut bait, and go for her.
I wasted 2 years with a girl when I met Her cause I was already in a relation ship.
Now Her and I are together and it's the best shit ever.
>DOIT.shia labeouf
>>689513795
Your tip has been submitted.
>>689514003
Out of all the things that never happened, this never happened the most.
>>689514101
I'm terrified of girls and a lot of them like me. I suck
>>689513988
Sorry I can be a little autistic sometimes and not catch jokes. Thanks. I hope I'll be able to find my dream job.
>>689513795
Newspaper article
>>689510812
You luck bastard I wanna live there.
>>689514138
How big is your dick?
>>689510291
>She will never leave her husband. You're about to get tricked.
>>689509601
I love dirty interracial
I raped a person
>>689514287
We already knew you were a cuck
>>689509601
I bang and do blow with my stepsister and her friend
I'm 40 they are in their 20's
pic related
>>689514310
it's not the first time I've done this. trust me, she will leave her husband.
so hot
>>689512615
/b/ro.... Goddamn.... I don't know if to cringe or tip my hat....
>>689514235
anytime anx, good luck
>>689510403
yawn
>>689514101
Even when they're beautiful girls I can't feel shit for them but only seeing them as money for living.
>>689514142
Idc, statute of limitations son. It's over.
>>689514296
Average. Only 6 to 6.5 depending how excited I am.
>>689514345
Your wife will worship black dick and ass
i've fapped to pretty much everything, except the bottom line shit
i suffer from anxiety and i regret fapping to everything
other than that my life is pretty good, i want a gf
I support trump
I secretly want to suck another man's fat cock. I would do anything for it.
>>689512875
Umm... From CO by chance... Cause... I know a dude who did that...
>>689514431
There's no statute of limitations when I'm coming after your ass, my friend.
>>689514409
you get used to it. And I've been gradually working her closer and closer to nudity.
At the current rate I'll get her naked around 2020.
I just wanna get high all day and listen to music but my only dealer quit and I have no friends or deep web experience.
I fucking hate doing anything else.
I just wanna be left alone with my worldly pleasures.
One thing I can't have.
>>689511789
who the fuck is this skank?
>>689514442
Sounds nice
>>689513277
Look dude, I got wastey face and got a blowie from some strange while with my EX, it tore me up for months. But I was never more devoted to her than after that. You tried and failed, no harm done. Just learn from it and Life will be good.
>>689514345
I like hairy vaginas because I can lick the hair.
I'm pre-med
>>689514624
No anon you must make french fries for minimum wage for strength and patriotism.
a friend of mine loves foot massages. i give them to her on a regular basis. in return she lets me be her personal footstool while playing videogames.
>>689513320
A winner
>>689514431
There is no statute of limitations on violent, sexual, or federal crimes. Remember that.
One time I put a sandwich baggie in a peanut butter container and then fucked it.
Also, I'm scared to die.
>>689514624
Go steal a pie or something, Woolie.
>>689514419
Oh, sorry, do I know you?
I'm scared od ginger people. I just can't trust them.
>>689513320
Can you send me money on my paypal? I'm serious.
>>689509601
I secretly want to have a threesome with my wife and a curvy tranny well endowed with huge tits, huge ass, and most importantly huge cock. I want to be humiliated for having a comparatively tiny cock and get sloppy seconds after the tranny nuts in her.
>>689514430
Wish I could say the same. I just want a genuine companion.
That said, I definitely get the appeal. I always take the easiest road whenever possible, and I'd be perfectly fine mooching off some chick if I didn't like her at all.
I want to dress up as a sissy, suck a guys dick, and let it be post on a webcam. That would be so fucking hot.
>be me
>15-16
>(year 2000)
>still a virgin
>wake up hard as fuck
>bro in the next bed
>his legs are crossed together and cclose to me
>i wonna see how it feeels to have your cock between shit
>proceed with fucking his thighs for a good 10 second
>he moves
>i shit it
>turn around, perending to be sleeping
>ending up falling asleep
>never really told the story to anyone
>tldr i rubbed my cock on big bro's thighs
>>689514855
nah.
>>689510812
THE KHANATE WILL BE STRONG
a dominatrix fucked me with a 10 inch strap on and now I have a permanent hemmorhoid
>anorexic
>bulimic
>gay
>cut myself
>trump supporter
>not gonna vote tho
I think that's about it lel
>>689514956
Why u don't do it?
I hate 4chan.
>>689514923
are you a woman who's willing to send nudes in exchange for that?
>>689515120
oh I forgot I also got molested by my mom's bf when I was a kid, ew
>>689513277
keeek
>u are scared u cant fidn a replacement.
I'm not anorexic, but I hate to eat because I feel fat.
My weight: 53 lbs.
I was recently diagnosed as a psychopath and I don't know
i met my oncologist in aspen and got bad news. was sure i was going to be fine. i lied to you C. i'm so sorry. you thought i was cheating and i don't blame you. i hope you have an amazing life. we named our kids C. it's the drugs i'm sure but i dream of them and when i wake up their hugs seem so real. i don't have much time left.
>>689515066
Oh okay, sounded like you knew me or something. So what brings you to /secret/?
>>689509601
I was once 'convinced' I had to beat a man near death with a hammer by a 'friend' soon after he convinced another to try to do much the same to me, I never found out why.
>>689515235
wtf anon how tall are you?
I'm anorexic and I'm waaaay fatter than that ahaha I'm 110lb 5'7"
My girl got fucked by a guy during a trip, and asked me if I was ok with it if he didnt use a condom next time. I came buckets and said yes.
>>689515313
Is your friend the Joker?
>>689515297
I'm a regular. I just try to keep a low profile.
It's easy when you have a lot of secrets, you just post a different one each day.
I was raped when I was a kid, family and school involvement, also possible government - MKUltra, blackops, trauma-based mind control. I'm still not talking about it to anyone.
>>689515129
I want to, I just don't know where to find a guy willing to do it.
>>689515232
Maybe.
To me though, I feel bad because she really does care. She doesn't deserve to be hurt like that, she's been nothing but good to me.
The sex gets fucking dull though. She's not adventurous at all. No imagination.
I just want more animalistic sex. It's so goddamn dull sometimes.
I got to know who sexually abused my best friend when she was younger. Now I'm planning to murder those two sick fuckers with ricin
I don't know why, but it turns me the hell on when a girl is wearing a watch during sex.
>>689515582
Tried with /soc/? Or kik?
I got a blow job from my girlfriends sister, she is also the ex of one of my best friend. She is 5 years younger than me. I am 22.
>>689515450
That sounds intriguing. ^^
Slept in a friend's room where his 2 brothers also slept. Had lots of sex before with said friend. Me and the youngest(probably 14? 15?) and the other one were drunk. I laid down between friend and the youngest. Since everybody in the room was drunk and asleep, friend and I jerked each other off and then turned his back to me AFTER he finished. Sucked his sleeping youngest bro then while jerking off. Shit was so cash.
>>689515816
Is your name Mariah?
>>689515364
Sorry, it was a numbers mistake hahaha (Not getting used to not using metric system).
Weight: 96 lbs.
>>689515585
Most murders which do it with poison are femals.
TOGTFO
>>689515895
Nope, but the sound is sort of alike.
>>689509601
My hovercraft is full of eels
>>689515954
This isn't GoT
>>689515775
I have a kik, I just don't know where to meet anyone on it.
>>689515962
Damn, alright.
Not that guy you were talking to, but the way you type kind of reminded me of how an "old friend" did.
>>689515816
It's a lot of questionable life choices and lack of self control, mostly. They add up surprisingly fast.
>>689515954
Lel
>>689516102
where are you from?
I used to masturbate in class in 7th grade. I never actually came anything, just had orgasm. it almost became regular.
>>689516102
>>>/soc/
I hope it helps.
>>689510979
just.what.the.fuck.man? you must be really loving her for staying 4 years and not have fuck her till now cause she's afraid. but let me tell you something. you are gonna regret all this one day. not saying a relationship is only sex but it's a part of it. hope you are not the "free food guy and good company" guy while she's fucking others.
>>689515585
Your tip has been submitted
>>689515899
oh okay lol
>almost reported you for underage b& ;)
>>689516182
>masturbate
Kek, same. But one kid caught me one time and I said I was itching my balls. He believed me
>>689516124
My name is Alina, if it matters. People here call me Anx.
>>689516126
Even more intriguing. Tell me one?
>>689516163
The midwest.
>>689509777
you sick mofo
>>689515815
my ex gfs sister blew me and she was 5 years younger than that
>>689516504
How old were you?
>>689516470
hm, Eurofag here so cant be of any help I guess
>>689516550
26 at the time
I once led a guy on for months so I could fuck his dad.
>>689516635
I once jacked off at school. I win
>>689516454
You seem in a better mood than usual. Good day today?
Here's a mild one: I'm a serial cheater. I need to be in multiple relationships at once, usually at least three.
An open relationship would be great but my kinks make that difficult.
