>>689461341
Anyone else have to role play when eating?

>>689461341

this isn't weird, it's autistic

>>689461518
Really ?

>>689461470
I do that sometimes, but I'll pretend I'm like a Note or a viking

I still run up the stairs on all fours

>>689461518
My parents say it's different but nothing wrong

>>689461341
Your autism level is too high. May I suggest the following to remedy the situation:

1. An hero.
2. Commit sudoku
3. Eat your penis like an orc.

i play chess with myself and laugh out loud when i trick mysef.

>>689462007
How do you even trick yourself?

>>689461988
Fuck off summer fag

The kid needs help

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I post really really really funny bananas on /b/

>>689462092
That's why it's funny

Gets me everytime

I have put so many household objects from myums house up my ass the call my rectum ikea, I'm not even joking it must be the risk factor or something that just gets the juices flowing

I use Q Tips to clean my nose, I like to ride quads (four wheelers) and bugs and dirt and shit get in my nose, I blow my nose but it doesnt get all that shit out. So I use q tips and my family thinks its gross af.

I often scratch my dick with my nails when masturbating

>>689462470
Literally lol'd

I go to bed with a loaded gun in my mouth hoping if i kill myself in my dreams i can do it in the real world too.

>>689462873
That's not right

You need help

>>689462827
Check mate

Lol!!!

I take that Hershey's chocolate spread shit, and put it on one piece of bread, then put peanut butter on another, and put them together. It's fucking amazing.

I chase my cats around the house pretending to be a monster

I blow into glasses before putting something to drink in them to get the microscopic dusties out

>>689462007
ive done this before so dont worry man your not alone

I masterbate to mine craft porn

>>689462984
Summerfag falling for some low ass, middle eastern looking, hipster typed, cancer riddled, salmonella infested, dick sucking, gay b8

I buy chocolate marshmallow ice cream to eat the marshmallow and throw the rest away

>>689462092
you know how to willingly come to /b/ for whatever reason?
>like that

>>689463333
.......

>>689463333
You're the one who got bated retard

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>>689463333
I refuse to achknolwedge your subs on the terms of you being gay

I suck my own dick but hate homos

I pick my nose and eat it

But coming in this thread it no longer seems that bad

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>>689463951
Well then how about you acknowledge these then fagarot!

while playing games if the character eats to heal i'll get a snack like chips or somethign and eat whenever the character eats

>>689462984
But i bet no other anon does it.

I do my dishes in the bathtub. I live in the attic of a really nice house and I mostly have a kitchen but the only sink is in the bathroom. This was the best way.

I also go everywhere baked.

>>689461341
>Only shower when I go to work or have to go somewhere with people
>If oily, I rub my fingers behind my ears and smell

I mean I'm not dirty, but greasy for sure

>>689461341
when I walk into my room, I pretend that I'm some sort of super secret agent/soldier on a mission to get to my desk/bed.
>Door is open. Clear.
>Scanning room.Clear.
>Turning on the lights. Advice.
>Your Clear to move.
>Copy that.
>Take Cover and move shoulder to the wall.
Autistic as fuck I know, but its fun to do shit like that when no one is watching.

>>689464652
I have a trip wire system of where when a intruder comes through my door they will activate the trip wire causing the shotgun hanging above my bed to shoot me in the head. Is that a bit similar?

>>689463951
>subs

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>>689465157
reminds me of

>>689465327
You know what I mean dick for brain

I meant shauds

>>689465195
Not quite. Too complicated imo.
>tfw noone even wants to rob you

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I eat everything with a spoon

Everything

>>689465870
how

>>689465195
This is the best way I have ever heard of to avoid getting v& and/or to permanently scar your parents when they wake you up in the morning

>>689466006
I just soo dick wad

I can't cum if there is tits in porn

Clothes/top on only

The idea of breasts disgusts me.. Milk being in there

I can't drink milk either

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>>689466143
>mfw I just soo

>>689466409
Get out

>>689466610
What are you the fuxking typo policg

i suck my thumb and have a little blanket i need to fall asleep with, and i like it when the blanket is nice and cold, rubbing it on my face and shit

look in a magnifying mirror with a pimple/black head removal tool and go at it for 30 minutes straight, then instant regret

>>689463118
Filthy animal.

>>689466100
No no no you see my parents are dead lol.

>>689467365
Don't make fun of others weird things friend. I'm sure you got something too. Come on out with it friend, we are all here to support you.

>>689463325
underrated post of the century

>>689467745
I suck dick to pay rent and in a 45 year old straight virgin man

i jerk off in bed, cum on my stomach, then eat it. Every time

I sometimes spy on myself when I take a shower.

When I brush my teeth I sit at my computer. I end up holding my toothbrush in my mouth for up to about 20 minutes while doing stuff on the computer before finally going back to the sink.

>>689467745
My dogs sleep in my bed
I don't moan/groan when im cumming
There, happy, you animal?

>>689469251
Ninja cum

I sing songs about killing myself while I get ready for work every morning.

>>689470907
Hah.

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I use my precum as lube to put things in my hole and then fap, I shoot faster and harder and make more trajectory by doing this

>>689461341
I wear a lab coat around the house.

If something stupid happens I turn my head like on those single camera comedies where they look into the camera.

Every time I hear a car door outside, I check the peephole to be sure the fuzz haven't found me

>>689461341
I chew the inside of my mouth.
I make random noises like beep bop boop
I say thank you to ATMs

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I very rarely make eye contact.
I have full conversations with people whilst barely looking at them, and even if I do I stare at their nose or mouth or something.
Looking someone in the eye while talking is an intimate thing for me I only do it with certain people at/or certain times

>>689461341
WHAT IF YOU ATE CANDY

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>>689461341
I wash myself in vinegar.

>>689473811
I never know what eye to look at. Biggest problem in my life

>>689462007
Kek'd

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Thanks Lori

>>689472055
Sounds severely autistic

>>689461809
I do this at my parents' house if no one is looking. 1, they're kind of steep. 2, it's comforting

>>689474150
This, cant make eye contact for this very reason

Sometimes, I get in the shower, pee on my face and in my mouth, then I use my urine for lube and proceed to jerk off until I chum in my hand. Then I eat it.

It's the cats pajamas!

Oh, wait, you said "weird things". Nevermind.

>>689462635
Jesus, wear a fucking helmet or handkerchief or something

>>689474380
Fuck off, it's comfy.

>>689474690
>>689474150

look at the space between their eyes, they can't tell you're not looking them in the eye

>>689473811
I'm not as bad as you, but I'm like >>689474150
If I pick one both of my eyes are focused on that one, and they see that. But If I focus in between I can't see their eyes and It looks like I'm looking at the bridge of their nose. I end up looking past people sometimes. And when I look into a girl's eyes I start feeling something I can't explain and I keep staring.

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>>689461341

I lube up my feet, cup them together, and fuck them. After cumming in my foot cup, I plant my face in it and lick it up while rubbing my face in it.

>>689462873
This is not a bad idea. I think I'm too much of a pussy to put it in in the first place though

>>689475090
>If I pick one both of my eyes are focused on that one, and they see that

No, they don't.

>>689475090
Haha welcome to my life. I would give anything to be able to have normal eye contact

When you plop pie plums up yer bum are you a hobbot?

>>689463184
Instead of just rinsing them out?

>>689475283
How are you sure

>>689475432
Would you give up... your eyes?

>>689461871
your parents tell you you're not autistic so they're not embarrassed.

I watch Icarly episodes and then memorize the entire script. I then act out all the lines, but since I have to do it by myself I jump around different sections of my room to signify character change.

>>689463325
I've done this a couple of times. Not an every day thing tho

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>>689462007
Geri you have alzheimers.

>>689475514
I've thought about it. Almost worse having them

>>689475061
I just cant. I start focusing on their face, I stop blinking then I have to pretend im trying to find something i lost to break the face to face shit. Autism.

>>689463756
Is he? Or are you.... or am I?????????

>>689475283
But what if they do notice? I sure as hell don't. So now I gotta keep switching between eyes or looking into their 3rd fucking eye until I find the sweet spot. Then there's the problem of me focusing too hard on them and forgetting to blink. Holy shit I have problems. Why don't they teach you these things in school?

I blow my load into the toilet when I jerk off so I don't have to clean up.

>>689475721
I don't want to live like this anymore

>>689463184
I do that too.

>>689466610
Underrated post

>>689470907
Literally lol"d

>>689475797
I wish I could see you face to face irl. Maybe we could solve it

>>689464360
Same.

>>689461518
Fuck you, thats cool, Role play when eating

>>689475721
This happens to me too. Why does interacting with people need to be such an awkward experience?

>>689463325
Got any links?

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>>689475797
The same reason they don't teach you not tweak your prostate in class. The curriculum isn't geared towards fags line you

>>689461341
i go outside sometimes

When I'm home alone I like to chant "fist my pussy" in this particular sing-song style I saw once in a Max Hardcore video. There was this girl who was on drugs and singing "fist my pusseeeeaaah, fist my pussseeeeeah" as she got fisted. If anyone knows where I can find the video I will pay you money.

>>689461341
I take off all my clothes when I shit. Been doing it since I was a little kid.

>>689461988
GTFO summerfag

I take a shower after every shit unless I can't. my ass hair traps too much shit particles and I feel gross. Unless I know I'm getting a clean wipe.

>>689476051
im 27yo and it also happens when i talk to family members.

>>689461470
I think I'm a tiger eating the insides of a zebra or deer.

>>689476302
I don't take a shower after every shit but I always get shit stuck in my ass hair too. It's such a fucking awful feeling like what the fuck

>>689463148
ME TOO

>>689465116
Same. Some days I can roll my fingers on my neck and shoulders and make little spools of dead skin, old sweat, and dirt. I live alone and I am always naked at home. It's probably how they will find me.

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>>689476005
Oh golly anon, so soon? We just met...

>>689463325
You should be very proud

>>689465157
How old are you Kid ?

sometimes my internet friends joke around and tell me to kill myself

>>689463148
>pretending
You ARE a monster, anon.

>>689462007
had a good kek

>>689463333
dayum

I do not say a persons name unless I am 100% sure that is their name. Only call close friends and and family by their names

>>689466409
Hly sht. Sounds like me with pussies. I love tits, ass, feet, legs, female faces, but vaginas are disgusting. Close ups and insertion shots ruin porn for me. Skinemax and jav are the absolute best

>>689464652
You would lose the bet I sleep with my Ruger in my mouth.
>>689465195
Pretty much yes.

>>689465393
Haha, thats interesting

I pretend I'm Naruto when I eat ramen

I pretend I'm a cat with my cats

I stick my underwear up my ass, clench then pull it out

>>689476690
Getting a new acquaintance's name wrong happens. Actually it's to be expected. Don't feel bad giving it a shot.

I start singing Pretty Women whenever I go to the barber.

Only some will know wtf i'm talking about.

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>>689462369
>>689476284
There.
Is.
No.
Such.
Thing.
As.
A.
SUMMERFAG!
Bruh, you Newfriends need to learn traffic on 4Chan goes --->DOWN<--- during the fucking summer you ignorant flaming faggot.
Don't believe me?
Ask on the next Q&A.

>>689462809
My ex used to do that shit feels good man

>>689470907
Do you happen to work at convergys?

>>689475569
Are u a femanon?

>>689464908
muh nigga, I go everywhere baked too. Currently baked.

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>>689477053

>>689465116
Same, except smell hair, feet, junk. Have to try out ears. I sometimes don't bathe even for work. Stupid fag here working for Captain ds

>>689464599
I like this!

>>689477053
This is an example of summerfag

I like to scratch clothing tags, idk what it is but like I scrape my fingers along almost all clothing tags to feel them and if I like them I cut them off and keep them... Is this weird or is it just like a tactile thing?

I pick my boogers and eat them; it's delicious.

>>689462007
Dude I love playing chess by myself. And I think it's funny when I see a mistake I made.

I have to tap my plate in multiples of three. So it I clang the spoon on the plate I have to do it 2 more times. If I do this too many times in a meal I have to pop my fingers to build it back up.Its hard to describe but if I let it get too low, the rest of the day seems wrong

>>689473022
Awowo

>>689477164
No.

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>>689475617
Nice reference

>>689461341
when i listen to music on my phone i feel the need to get up and walk around my house, parents don't say anything just go with it.

>>689463148
who doesn't?

>>689476904
I wont even call my coworkers by their names (been working there for 2 1/2 years) unless i see their name tag

>>689461809
yhep

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>>689477199
Durr hurr this guy told me i was wrong when i was wrong durr hurr this guy. What the fuck are you even posting? Get off my 4Chan.
Fucking 12 year olds, what're we gunnuh do.

>>689477411
Omfg I do the exact same thing with tags with my nail beds I thought I was the only one! Been doing it since I can remember.

>>689463118
Omg, ur so weird, teehee

>>689476242
i didnt think anyone else did that

>>689477482
You have ocd you fuxking cuck

>>689467106
>overdoing it

>>689475721
You have to enjoy talking to people. Try having interest in what they are saying. Look in their eyes for 10 seconds, then look somewhere else for 10. Repeat as you keep interested in learning more about them.

>>689468021
holy shit! inside a 45 yo straight virgin man!? now that's some dick sucking.

If someone else is driving me somewhere (rarely happens) whenever we pass an intersecting road I will imagine the car jumping into the air until we makr it to the other side so the wheels clear the area of road intersection, as if it were a chasm. I think I've done it my whole life

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>>689477598

>>689477629
No frickin way! I never thought that someone else does that

>>689468021
Straight... right.

>>689476242
I always take off my shirt when I shit. Just in case.

>>689476791
Im a s&w man myself, but nice choice. Fingers crossed that tonights the night. Goodnight /b/ros.

>>689476242
Only reason I don't do this at work is the fucking gaps in bathroom stalls

>>689463184
>spitting in a glass to get dust out

what

>>689477919
Lol me either I allways thought I was weird as shit for it

One time I turned the water to the toilet off.. So after my mum shat.. She couldn't flush and went to call Plummer.. I stole some of her poo quickly and masterbated using it

>>689477998
this. this is why i almost never poop in public

>>689478088
>spitting when he said blowing
Can you read, anon?

>>689473811
Look at theirs eyes for a second or two then look away and eventually come back to their eyes. Especially when they're talking or when you're trying to get across an important point. I have an anxiety disorder, but I found this method to work best for me. Try it next time. Takes some practice, but gets easier with time.

>>689462873
Knowing my luck I'd wake up without a dick

>>689473811
That's called assburger's. You have assburger's. More common than u think

>>689478171
Ah, yes. We've all been there. Hehehe.......

I spit on my carpet

>>689473811
Practice staring into your own eyes. You probably can't right now because you hate yourself and I'm sorry for that. Once you conquer looking at yourself, it'll be easier for others.

>>689461341
at the end of a shower I turn the coldest water on and just BLAST my asshole with it. Like 2 inches away, flip the switch to get that pulsating rotational bullshit goin, and powerwash my whole crack.

It's like I sat on a pack of 5 gum.

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Total summerfag

I shit out back

>>689478574
I'm glad you survived the shooting to post that, anon.

>>689477482
I used to have to do things like this in 2's. If one side of my body did something I didn't expect(hand brushes against wall) I would need to do it with the other side. It wouldn't ruin my day if I didn't though- Id just keep thinking about it until something else grabbed my attention. Grew out of it sometime in high school tho

>>689477747
>You have to enjoy talking to people
Not him but I just can't deal with small talk. What do I talk about? Even with my friends when things go quiet I don't know what to talk about.

>>689461341
>if nobody else is home, walk around naked
>if it's just family, boxers only
>after reading a study on oxytocin, give hugs lasting longer than ten seconds
>make everyone really uncomfortable at first, then slowly people get used to it and start doing the same thing to people they know
>commandeer classrooms
>meaning: talk to kids before professor/doctor/whatever shows up, get them comfortable with each other, and be the first one to speak on any subject
>get them all comfortable enough by day five that nobody's afraid to speak out and ask questions
>teachers are baffled, but thrilled
>ask parents every two hours if they need me to do anything
>usual crap like empty the sink, put the dishes away, pull weeds, or do the laundry
>most of the time they tell me to chill
>work out with my grandfather on and off
>he shames me every day by lifting twice whatever I do and flirting with every chick above nineteen who walks by
>love that old bastard

Jesus fuck, I feel like a normalfag.

>>689477482
You have ocd

I sleep with my calculator underneath my pillow.

Sometimes there are some fucking problems i cannot solve and haunt me at night.

>>689477053
Don't you have some novels to read for next year's eng class?

>>689461341
Artist/Sauce?

>>689473022
I beep and boop. We might be robots.

>>689479022
Op here

I drew it

It's a self portrait but I weight much more

>>689479377
Dubs don't lie

Nice work op

>>689464360
eww thats gross

My favourite colour is green

I still use MySpace

I hate South Africans

>>689477011
ha

>>689476242
I too do this but only in Private. My family knows but I just tell them it's because I'm going to "take a shower" not sure if they know otherwise

>>689478809
This,when people start small talking im like, dude stfu if u dont have anything better to say and enjoy the silence . please.

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My ass is often itchy even when I wash it and leave it alone or put lotion on it I still manage to itch it some, it's annoying.

Also I use my own pee to masturbate and lay down on my sides some times when jerking off.

Why do I see op everywhere?

What does this mean?

Like operation Or somethin?

>>689476443
I shave my crack to solve this, it stops itching after like the third time.

>>689478171
Dude I think you just won

>>689476690
I always just ask like a blatant retard, somehow people don't take too much offense if you're up front.

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>>689463148
ayyyyyyy
straight connected in a thread

>>689478247
>you being retarded enough to think that spit doesn't come out when you blow

>>689477426
same here family knows about it, when they insult me about it I wipe it on em

>>689477998
Kek...in case of what?

>>689477053
>dat meme
what is this, 2008???

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>>689478812
All these underage retards. I hope you like your ban you underage faggot. I bet everyone hates you. You beta cuck.

>>689467110
>i suck my thumb

you are a disgusting person

>>689477053
lol wtf you can't ask questions and answers questions expecting answers to your questions, the questions and answers section has a disposition usually, derived from the more generally asked questions and answers.

Litterally all same fag

I can't belief you put all this time j writing 200+ posts

Kys

>>689469251
i never make any sounds when i masturbate, i dont even want to moan because ive supressed doing that for so long.

>>689477164
And you?

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>>689479560
You must be retarded.

>>689480637
Yes quite

Are you gentleman?

>>689480706
You fell for his b8 m8

Jokes on you you fuxking cuck

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>>689465157
>stripped from parents as a child
>endure a lifetime of training
>gentleman's etiquette
>fluent in 19 languages
>can kill with bare hands in a crowded room without suspicion
> still cant distinguish homonyms

i regularly deepthroat my dildo, having something in my throat just makes me really hard.

>>689480632
same, not even a peep

I stand above my fan on my floor to air out my balls and ass cheeks.

Also I imagine myself in really long stores with my past and current friends. Ive been on my current one for about 3 months now and I think of progress every night before I go to bed and every morning when I wake up.

>>689461341
i do something similar, where when I'm drinking from a mug I pretend it's like from the elder scrolls and i'm drinking mead or something

>>689477482
What do you mean by "it" when you say "I have pop my fingers to build it back up." and "if I let it get too low..."?

>>689473811
whenever i talk to someone i end up staring at inanimate objects cause i can bring myself to look the person in the eyes

>>689480637
Is that u MC?

>>689473811
i dont talk to people ever. when i do, i never know how long to look at them without pausing to look away. too long and its weird, not long enough and you're weird

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>>689480242
>underage faggot
>beta cuck
>enjoy your ban

I wonder what it is with fourteen year olds and 4chan in the summer.

>>689469251
i didnt know ppl normally make noise. i just assumed everyone was silent and was prolly cumming all the time

>>689480596
>99 posters
>231 replies

>>689478247
Actually he said shitting in the glass

>>689481249
Stories*? If so, me too. Mine nvr really end. I'm always the reluctant hero and I ignore the perfect girl but get her anyway

>>689476302
have you ever thought about just cutting off/shaving your ass hairs

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fukn ausfag tranny here

>I have a shower after I shit so I can clean my arsehole, like even if it's a clean wipe, you still got a shitty arsehole.

>When no ones home I put the heater on and get naked, but I'm not a nudist because that's for hippies.

>In summer it gets really hot so I throw eggs on the road and kick them around to make scrambled eggs for the animals or something.

>If I know someone is foreign irl I step my shit posting game up and use more obscure aus slang.

>I unironically enjoy infomercials and the infomercial channel, I make fun of their accents if they're new zealand.

>I make about 10 copies of several shitty aus commercials that I like, and I mix them into my music playlist so they come up heaps.

>Whenever I save a picture from 4chan, I do a set of leg exercises, needless to say with lack of OC recently I'm becoming unfit :^).

When I was in high school my girlfriend and I had two teddy bears and we gave them names and they talked to us and we talked to them and were there parents. We broke up but I still talk to my bear years later.

>>689465195
Post picture of trip wire set up

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>constantly picking my teeth with my pinky
>standing on step stool when doing dishes (im fucking 6'3)
>Go down into kitchen, forget what I'm doing, lean forehead on fridge and blank out for a few minutes
>wrap myself in a blanket like a burrito, even during the hot summer days
>Refuse to drink out of a cup at home. Only drink out of a reused soda bottle, often for months at a time

am i beyond salvation

>>689461341
I eat my spaghetti straight from the can and put ketchup in my mac and cheese

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ITT: Socially retarded wildebeests.

You all should be somewhat ashamed of yourselves.

>>689466409
i cant stand when they show close up of some cunt. most boobs disgust me too along with most porn stars. when someone looks fake its just a huge turnoff for me

>>689478809
You don't have to talk to people if you don't want to. Your life will be easier if you are polite, but you don't owe anyone anything. Only make small talk if it furthers your goals. If they are talking about boring shit, then fuck 'em.

>>689481970
>wrap myself in a blanket like a burrito, even during the hot summer days
i do that. blankets just make me comfy to be honest. i can never fall asleep without one

>>689481791
3 and 4 are pretty cool

>>689481970
nah ur just a goof that aint even bad

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>>689479022
Kaneoya sachiko

>>689480794
No! Only gentel part

>>689461341
I have serious debates with myself in my head and sometimes I "talk" to a neutral voice to see which side is correct. I usually give each one a different voice.

I like to pretend that people can hear my thoughts so I think of all the racial slurs that I can as loudly that I can.

I also enjoy dance walking to get things from around my house. Fucking full on walts, strut, and twurk when I pick up stuff.

>>689481022
Kill? Ewwwee that's gross!

>>689481988
Was there supposed to be a brand name there or do you only eat canned spaghetti? Top kek either way

>>689474435
Lol o you darn loveable neckbeard

>>689481459
SURE IS SUMMER IN HERE!

>>689461341
I check out weird threads like this one on 4chan

>>689482640
You have ocd