>Cut into pieces
>put on batter
>fry til crispy
>enjoy

https://www.washingtonpost.com/national/man-dies-after-falling-into-yellowstone-spring/2016/06/09/4255c6de-2d1c-11e6-9b37-42985f6a265c_story.html

>>689377274
The principles of deep frying do not change no matter what the object you are frying, all that changes is the scale. Based on the history of cannibalism I would say you treat human flesh like pork, hypothetically speaking of course, and go with a dredge instead of a batter.

>hypothetically

>>689377408

Or

> Buy wood logs
> Buy a heat resistant barrel
> Cut her up a bit so she fits
> Find a way to hang the barrel above the fire
> fill with oil
> Dump her in
> Don't forget some kind of hook to grab her, turn her. Heat resistant gloves, apron an protection from possible oil burns.

>>689377274
they deep friend a cow that was injected with cheese on aqua teen, so I assume the same hypothetical situation would support a human

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>>689377408
>>689377727
>>689377847
>>689377989
How much supplies would I need?

>>689378163


Cut her in strips, dip in beaten eggs, dredge in flour with a little salt and pepper and throw in the fryer

That's all you need

>>689378163
I think it's a bit fucking obvious, but go out at night and be sure to bring a gun with you, go deep into the woods with the materials and then do the deed.

Also Make sure to burn the victims belongings and clothes found on the body in the fire, then collect the ashes, cut up the bones and chuck them in a bin (hiding your face) and just pour the ashes out the window while driving.

This is all hypothetical, of course; hopefully you will hypothetically get away with it too ;D

>>689378902

Hypothetically, throwing anything into a bin is a mistake. People expect to find things people want to get rid off into bins. In case something goes wrong, this is where they will look.

Burry it somewhere else is better imo.

Also, phones really fuck you up, don't turn it off but leave it at home.

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Hypothetically, any suggestions on what she could be seasoned with?

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>>689379404
Look I'm not saying anymore you know the drill

>>689379404
This is what I like to use to season mine:
2 tablespoons paprika
1 tablespoon onion salt
1 teaspoon celery salt
1 teaspoon rubbed sage
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1 teaspoon ground allspice
1 teaspoon ground oregano
1 teaspoon chili powder
1 teaspoon black pepper
1 teaspoon basil leaves, crushed
1 teaspoon marjoram leaves, crushed finely

Hope this helps :D... hypothetically...

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>>689379973
You sure the measurements are correct?

>>689380239
Okay I would maybe times that by 15-17, depending on how much you are hypothetically planning on eating, I usually eat a piece at a time, hypothetically.

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Anyone else do this?

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>>689377274
I know nothing about hypothetical deep frying. To ACTUALLY deep fry someone depends on if they're live or dead first. You'll need splash guards if they're live; hot oil goes everywhere as they struggle.

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>>689381154
Live may be easier. Any further information if the subject is living

>>689381317
Hypothetically sedate her then.

>>689381317
well theyll die either way may as well just do it first

post more redhead

>>689379267
And keep it turned on. Also but bones and teeth in bottled cokes, burry them elsewhere

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>>689381687
Would the sedatives carry over to her meat, hypothetically. And it would take a while to cover her in the breading, batter, and seasoning

>>689381317
Dont do it while they are conscious. You shouldnt risk someone hearing their screams. And use a boltcutter to remove fingertips. Theyare hard to eat and easy to identify. The goal isnt only to avoid being identified but also to keep the body unidentifiable, so they cant trace her steps before the grill party

>>689382460
Use strong opioids in small doses, often redosing instead of having to risk to start over the seasoning

>>689382040
>>689382494
>>689382621
Also you should come up with something to get rid of the leftovers

>>689382460
So that's why I would shoot her in the head with a shotgun, hypothetically, and then do this to her corpse; but if you don't have access to a shotgun, just do your best to murder her and then deep fry her, otherwise she could escape, or she could fight back. the sedatives should be fairly dead when you deep fry her hypothetically.

>>689382852
If no shotgun, sedatives and bag on head. Shotun tends to get messy, and eating the opiates especially after fried wont hurt you.

>>689383011
That's why I usually tie them up hypothetically and then take them deep into the forest and hypothetically shoot them in the head.

>>689383166
I never liked leaving shit behind. Also to OP: youll need about 400 kgs of wood tp burn the remains if you are planning on that

>>689383306
*Hypothetically

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I really hypothetically want to do this with her sedated just to see what it would be like now

>>689377274
Would you hypotheticallybe willing to share the finished product?

>>689383454
If my methods werent good enough id use "hypothetically" too

>>689383589
Conscious or unconscious?

>>689380239
lol'd

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>>689383730
How would I prep her and cook if she's awake? This is an honest question

>>689384065
Simply fucking don't keep her alive, don't stress her either because it will toughen the meat, You need to gut her and burn the guts, make sure there is no shit in there either because that would hypothetically fucking disgusting and if you went to the doctor (which you would have to) they would detect human flesh in your pee.

>>689377274
For gingers just put in sunlight without sunscreen. Crispy

>>689377274
>deep fry a Person
>posts pic of a ginger
Kek

>>689384065
With ebough painkillers to ease the pain but stay conscious

This is such a fucking stupid thread. Cringy ass edge lords

>>689385186
Hence your presence

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>>689385107
How do I get them to her?

Go ask ISIS or Hannibal Lecter.

god she looks delicious. jacking off atm. i would rape her before cooking her because the cum would season the meat, internally

>>689385850
pics?

>>689385107
There arent enough painkillers in the world to make a person not feel being fucking deep fried yet stay awake.

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Anyone have more hypothetical suggestions?

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Nigger what

>>689377274
Literally how you would deep fry an entire cow.

See: http://fmobserver.com/fargo-man-arrested-for-flash-frying-entire-cow/

>>689385370
Shut up boy