I'm wearing three pairs of underwear right now

I get too lazy to get out of bed for tissues and just cum in my underwear.

I hide razor blades in my ass

My mom's friend tried to finger me in the back of my mom's car.

i'm not a black nigger

I use a different username and password for every website.

I lied about me failing college and now I'm going to kill myself...waiting till next week for losing my virginity to a hooker
Fml

I never carry cash and I always lock doors and put up trigger traps so I know if someone has been through.

I don't trust anyone and I don't believe any big story that hits the news.

>>689332940
I'm glad I'm not the only one. I just wash my underwear later

I like to read spy novels and I study intelligence agency operations that become public.

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>>689332630
I slept with my best friend's girlfriend. I actually told him several years ago and we went our separate ways.
I betrayed him and don't deserve to be his friend.
My secret is my parents are polar opposites -- family therapist and air force general, and neither of them would understand the weird situation I'm in. One of them is morally pure and would never understand. The other will do anything for power and will never understand. My middle position where I know I'll just have to suffer and learn confuses both of them.
As a result I can't ever tell them the truth and have to live with my shitty self with no support.

I've read all the Snowden leaks

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I have been collecting all the cum from my fap sessions and mixing it with mayonnaise for the last 6 months.... the jar is almost full, once it its im putting it in the refrigerator.

I cucked OP's mom

>>689333060
not something that requires an hero, unless you are from an asian family

>>689333246
maybe you shouldn't have been a cunt

>>689333124
I always carry cash, never card. If I need to pay with a card I use cash to buy single-use credit cards.

I don't have much to hide (aside from a few affairs), I just feel better about it.

>>689333313
Not when you're 21 and failed 3 times the first year...

>>689333282
What does it smell like?

>>689333023
You're a white nigger? You really should be ashamed and consider suicide. You had a choice you stupid piece of shit.

Found out I was gambled away as a baby for 2k to a Filipino family. Long story short, hopefully I will post the story one of these days. I was pretty much raised to ne polite and husband material to marry the youngest. Haven't met her yet either... Idk wtf to expect or even do.

>>689333370
so what you're saying is you're incredibly stupid and naive.

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I used to work at a shelter for abused girls (aged 16-25)

During my time there I learned that young girls who've gone through genuine abuse are always a lost cause and gravitate towards older, aggressive men.

Ever since I quit working there I've started hanging around these shelters and making moves on these girls whenever they leave the premises.

For three years now I've had a rotating harem of teenage girls and young adult women who willingly allow themselves to be in an abusive relationship with me in exchange for "affection". Sometimes if they start to smarten up I can bribe them with cash that they use for drugs and booze.

I get sex when I want, and if a girl gets bitchy with me I threaten to leave her for another one. They don't leave when I hit them, they willingly give themselves up for money and booze. Life is great but I live in constant fear of how family and friends would react if they ever found out.

I can feel electrical fields and ac current going though cords.

>>689333350
I know, and I agree. Shame one bad decision destroyed my entire life.
What I'm suggesting is that I'd like to apply what I've learned and be a better person, and I'm still sad.

Seriously.. when your in HS.. HS matters.. when your in College .. it matters..... plenty of graduates burn out.. plenty of drop outs get rich.. if your failing realise its because your not meant to be there.. find another way to get rich and have 20 YO bimbos suck your dick. PS be careful with the hooker.. i suggest all over body condom

I'm voting for trump

>>689333652
wanna talk about it

>>689333563
I understand it makes little practical difference. cash transactions can be tracked, common purchase histories can be linked, and I'm on camera everywhere.

but the same reason I use multiple VPN accounts for browsing, one of which is only from a clean linux VM. I used to work in big data collection, and I feel they should work for it.

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i know a girl who loves footmassages. i give them to her on a regular basis. in return she allows me to be her personal footstool while she watches tv

Face it your a piece of shit.... i don't say this regularly... but go head but a freight train... or jump into the alligator enclosure in the zoo you piece of shit.

>>689333770
Well I tried and anon was a dick. Plus I have to be up in 5 hours.

Even so, thanks for the offer, I genuinely appreciate it. I hope you have a good evening/morning anon. Thanks!

>>689333857
Who?

>>689333940
well that anon was me but ok.
http://prntscr.com/bfrg2y

I'm one and i Live in infinite. Again

>>689332630
according to omegle, i'm a really convincing trap.

I cheated on my bf because his meth use has made him completely unable to have erections anymore. Kill me.

>>689334022
Well why were you so unkind and then offer to talk about it? I don't expect anyone to be kind, so why would you switch it up so suddenly?

i went to aspen to check out a house I inherited. i wasn't cheating on you C. please text me. i'm sorry i suck at surprises.

>>689333282
Proof

>>689332940
I blow my load into my foreskin, top that

I use to really want to be a trap. I was super feminine looking when I was a teenager, and I was openly bisexual so I didn't mind guys also looking at me. But, I was extremely shy, so I never went with it, and I also lived in a highly religious household. Now I'm older and look less feminine now, so it's too late.

>>689333313
Fuck the social norms.

> dying from genetic disorder
> used to be religious as a child until I realized what kind of God would do this to a kid
> prove no good exists
> pray every night to let me pass in my sleep
> tired of fighting just to do normal activity
> tired of hospitals and meds
> stopped taking meds Jan 1st
> stopped going to doctor
> told friends and family I'm on new experimental drug
> any changes I have are just side effects
> can't look them in the eye anymore

>>689334150
I liked the way you reacted, therefore, I changed my attitude. But to be honest, I was never really angry at you for it to begin with.

>>689334160
I never liked you anyways fag, kill yourself.

lost my virginity to my female doberman

I'm fat

>>689334285
I see. Well, thanks for being a cool guy. I wish could talk but I really can't. I have a job interview as an important place in the morning. Even so, thanks for being nice suddenly, I really appreciate it. I needed the 'faith in humanity' boost. I wish you the best friend.

>>689334362

will do.

>>689334461
Sure thing. Leave a burner email if you want to talk later.

>>689334225
I blow it into my mouth, ahahah now im the edgelord.

>>689333792
>doubling down on that naivety

nobody cares about your pathetic attempt to fill your life with sex. grow a clue.

>I used to work in big data

LMAO

>>689332630
my sister molested me for years on end as a child

my gf left me for a backpacking trip and she fucked over ten guys already and I fucking love it.

>>689333629
It's for the best. You could combine with at least a psuedo-therapy, even if you do it as cover.

>>689334225
It should just drip out

My sister played a hand in my molestation as a child.

>>689334653
How did she do it?

>>689334225
same here, cleanest way to fap

just did that in my office with the door closed. no mess, no fuss.

>>689333333

Just a little while ago(30min-ish), I let my 7yo nephew shower with me and my gf. I've showered with just him many times, no big deal, but was 1st time with her also. His parents are conservative godfags and he is pretty sheltered so i highly doubt they would be ok with it, would freak the fuck out.

>>689334521
please feel free friend [email protected]

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>>689332630
I'm a faggot and have a crush on fictional men

I have intrusive thoughts about raping/killing family members that I don't even announce to my psychiatrist or therapist.

>>689333224

do you think kalugin was a cia double like the russians said? i do.

I have over 10,000 cataloged photos of naked women on my computer that my girlfriend of 1.5 years has yet to find even though she regularly uses it

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I am genuinely in love with Anne Frank. She was beautiful, witty, and graceful young woman who light was snuffed out far too early.

I frequently fantasize about being Peter van Pels hiding with her.

Oh god, just imagine deflowering that sweet girl on a lazy Amsterdam afternoon, lying and learn what each other's bodies were for.

Now imagine nine months later, she's got a massive bulging stomach from carrying your child inside of her and it seems like she’s gonna pop any moment now. Her popped belly button makes it look like she's got a giant third boob where her stomach once was. She waddles around and can barely move half of the time. She's developed an insatiable craving for your dick and you've likewise developed a taste for her pussy. You’re both cooped up in an attic all day have nothing better to do besides fuck like an unsustainable third world population. You lie down on your back, she strips off her far too small clothes and kneels on top of you. She grabs a hold of your rock hard cock, inserts it deep inside of her, and begins to ride you like a stallion. You feel the pressure from her incredible weight and huge round belly bearing down on you but the indescribable pleasure of her tight pussy throbbing on you cock negates any discomfort. You sink into her beautiful soul, into that secret place where no one dares to go. After 30 minutes, you and her are both moaning with ever greater intensity, you know it won't be long now. Suddenly, you feel your cock shaking like a V-2 rocket and the orgasm reaches it's climax as your cum literally explodes like an 88mm AT round inside her Sherman tank, blowing the turret right off. You and her both join as one, souls screaming from the sheer ecstasy. As the elation wears off, she lies next to you. Too exhausted to do anything else, you hold her in your embrace. In that moment, there is no family squabbles, no Nazis, no war. Just you and her, watching the sky turn pink with the setting sun.

Happy Birthday Anne.

>>689334064
Pics or it didn't happen

>>689332630

I carry a weapon in a country that does not issue CCW. I've never commited a crime except for this one.

I've got a couple.
1. I used to let dogs fuck me in the ass when I was 12.
2. I've texted my cousin pretending to be someone else to get nudes from her-shit works and I'd totally recommend it.
3. Used to grab said cousins tits and play with them when I was 18
4. Used to spy on my mom when she was getting dressed/undressed
5. Did the same to my brothers wife
6. Bought a sex doll under false pretenses and it looks like a big titted lol due to size and it's hot as fuck!
7. Used to play with my grandma's tits when she was asleep

>>689335001
same

>>689335001
Fuck, someone screencap

>>689333856
That sounds nice :)

i had an affair with my wife's friend and got her pregnant. now she's letting her boyfriend raise my kid, and we all still hang out.

>>689335178
now it can stay legendary
http://prntscr.com/bfrkyf

>>689335158
same here with the dogs when I was around 13

>>689332630
I think bastion needs to be buffed

>>689334916
Yeah don't tell anyone that put you in a cage.

>>689334225
that shit would leak out in 5 seconds

>>689332630
I cant stop smelling my fingers. I like the smell I get under my nails, its a musky sweet smell. Hell I like to smell my balls even. I know its weird as fuck and no one out side of my family knows about it.

I enjoy to hurt people I usually carry around 4-5 different tools just incase I feel like a little fun. Tools: 14inch spanner,steel hammer,18inch crowbar,various screwdrivers,small axe, other weapons:a wood bat with bikechain wrapped around it 4-6inch padlocks to throw, I don't think I have a problem I just enjoy the simple things. Anyone else?

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>>689335001

>>689335573
Natural male instinct to smell his balls. Fingers are a little weird though

>>689333060
Bro calm down, life will give you a second chance. You have so much to live for. Im sure you have a family and friends that care deeply about you. Dont think about suicide because you messed up. People make mistakes.

>>689333856
I give my aunt foot massages regularly and it turns me on. When she's drunk I don't think she notices me rubbing her feet on my cock through the pants>>689333856

>>689334916
do you suffer from anxiety, anon?

these types of disturbing thoughts are genuinely considered normal, under the circumstances of anxiety. I used to deal with it too, and all I can tell you is that those thoughts do not represent you, and they can be obsessive. Just remember that the only way to counteract them is let them in, and remind yourself that it's an unfortunate result of your anxiety. You will eventually feel better. My thoughts were based on some of the bullying I used to recieve, and awful shit I've seen floating around on the chan. Stay strong, /b/rother.

I eat my own cum quite often and by gf doesnt know...

i fuck with dogs

>>689334827
You've posted this every fucking time this thread occurs. Fuck off.

>>689335590
Im crazy and you sound like fun (pain turns me on wtf)

>>689332630
i have dreams of fucking my girlfriend sister almost 4 times a week. been with gf for 8 years

>>689334246
I hope you find peace, Anon.

>>689335325
Nigger I will cut you.

Secret:

I love guys who are 300+lbs

I've cheated on everyone I've ever dated with escorts

>>689333857
thanks you too

>>689335791
I eat my cum. My gf knows. She fuckin loves it

>>689333400
Who cares, college isnt for every one. Wasnt for me. Going to college doesnt automatically make you better than everyone else. Being a good person does. As long as youre a good person, youre golden.

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>>689335852
you get what you pay for.

>>689332940
is this not normal? I usually do this and just wash throw my underwear in washer when i shower later

>>689332630
I once made sex with inflatable lawn chair. It did not end well.

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what about moot ducks

I fucked my wifes sister after we broke up. Just because I wanted to be evil. I've still not told her and have tons of evidence including video. (will not post yet)

>>689333282
>i have been keeping a jar of mayonnaise outside of the fridge for six months
jesus dude

>watched road trip as a kid, heard the line "it's not cheating to put peanut butter on testicles and let dog lick off." So, I did this as a 8 yearold with my huskey. Did that till I was 10.

>started jerking off when I was 7 because a girl who was sexually molested taught me about it.

>same girl told me to stick my penis in her and shoot sperm. Had no idea what that meant, I essentially got a boner as a 7 yearold, stuck it in another 7 yearold and pissed in her vagina.

>be 13 y/o me, skip school for the first time with a girl who lives across the hallway from me in my apartment, she's a 14 and in the 8th grade, I'm 13 in 7th. Broke into an apartment with a butterknife. Her and I ate most of the food in there, and she passed out on the couch. I felt her up and fingered her pussy. She never knew I did this. Woke her up at 11 am and we ran out. Says "Anon did you touch me?" and I go "gross no."

>Last year working at a call center. It's fucking 4th of july, office is dead, calls are dead. Slutty fucking co-worker hitting on me. mind you, I'm engaged at this point in my life. (married now) and this bitch is just jamming to really shitty, trash music. I throw a pen at her, she turns around to my cock being whipped out. Idk what possessed me to do this, but I was super horny and her and I's pings would be about sex all day. She comes over to my desk and sucks my dick, I pull her skirt down and fuck her, dump a load off in her and send her back to her desk. Cheated on my soon to be wife with some gutter trash, mid 30's slut, who I came in, could have got pregnant.

> I'm 25 now, met a girl on fetlife who I regularly fuck because my wife is piece of shit who doesn't get horny. Girl has nice tits, and everything but she's seriously fucked in the head. She said she loves me, and I stopped talking to her lol.

Basically, I'm a fucked up sex-a-holic.

I've done more fucked up shit, but that's most of the secrets no one knows about.

>>689336012

yeah but being a good person means having a good income and college can really help with that

>>689333282
OH OKAY....

>>689333629
Dont you feel bad for taking advantage of people who arent necessarily in the best place in their life?

>>689333660
nothing wrong there

>>689334148

Does he know?

Kinda hot tbh

>>689336018
fight me irl faggot

>>689335239
>>689335239

Pics of said friend?

>>689332630

we planned and schemed the orlando shooting for trumps campaign

>>689336269
my dad can beat up your dad

>>689334900
Me too. I wanna suck Archie's pecs.

>>689333629
Kill yourself.

Or get therapy.

>>689334754
forced oral sex, manipulation, lots of pain. She used to try to cut shit off down there with scissors

>>689335001
yeah she's a cutie.

>>689336349
my dad molesters me

>>689334376
Details?

>>689336400
tell your family and then punch her. seriously.

it will help you. trust me. whether you know it now or not.

>>689332630
gonna be called edgy or someshit but im too smart for my own good. Currently studying chemical and biomolecular engineering and acing all my classes with ease to boredom. I would honestly rather major in something like philosophy or go prelaw but my family is poor so might as well sacrifice my life to let my family be happy :/

>>689332970
My mom's back tried to car me in the friend of my finger

>>689336562
but who was car??

>>689332630
Many times that I go for a walk with my dog, if nobody can see me I like to take with a plastic bag the poo of my dog and smear it inside the door latch of my neighbour's car.
I love to hear him screaming when he tryes to open it to go to work....

>>689335915
we love you too

>>689335981
So how your sex/cumming looks like? You share or what?

>>689334246
dude please start taking weed or psychodelics

Im a addicted to masturbating. I mainly masturbate to chikan or just reg porn. I sometimes get very very very small urges to chikan a stranger in a bus or supermarket for my pleasure. To help me with this I went cold turkey. So far its been a week and 3 days, and the urges are dying down.

>>689335647
Well at least its only a little weird, seeing someone say that makes me feel a little better for some reason.

>>689332630
>be me
>18
>have 19 year old gf whom I've been dating for 3 years
>been friends with her since I was 12
>she has a little sister
>little sister turning 15
>starting to fill out nicely
>she's awesome all around
>killer personality
>always talk to her
>gf hates her sister, her and i get along great
>constantly making her laugh, talk about random shit
>she even games
>start to notice how bossy my gf is
>start to notice how bitchy she is
>start to notice that she likes to "playfully" hit me if I say basically anything to her that she doesn't like
>go over to gf's house to pick her up one day, she's not there
>her sister is there alone play GTA:V
>invites me in to play
>surewhynot.jpg
>sitting on her couch watching her playing and talking about random shit
>can't remember exactly how but we end up sitting really close together
>I mean really close
>practically attached
>she leans over
>"have you ever thought about me?"
>"like how"
>she says nothing
>few moments pass and she asks "have you ever thought about fucking me?"
>ohshitwhatthefuck.png
>have no idea what the fuck to say so I say the first thing that i think of
>"no, but I don't think about that kind of stuff, I just act on it"
>she puts the controller down
>heart is fucking racing
>she puts her hand on my leg
>look right into her eye, leaning closer
>instant boner
>kisses me, very gently
>her lips, soft as fuck
>she stands up and asks me to come with her
>leads me into her room, this shit is getting heated
>asks me to pull down my pants
>pull down everything, exposing my hard on
>shit was awkward, she just starred for a few minutes and then came over and started touching me
>touched my cock for a good 5 minutes before stopping
>we went back into the living room and played more GTA:V
Weirdest experience of my life. GF doesn't know, and her sister and I have done more since then.

>>689336548
She's been in prison for years now. Molested a minor, ironically enough. My family knows. They accused me of lying. I don't talk to me family anymore.

>>689336841
>chikan
>cold turkey

sounds like a fowl habit to me anon

I had my first BBC at 15 AMA.

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>>689335001
>>689335178
>>689336487

Definitely fap-worthy

Hopefully Rule 34 sees this and we get some decent pregnant Anne Frank smut.

>>689336102
Being a good person has nothing to do with your income. By that logic every person in the lower class is a bad person. People with the highest incomes are some of the worst people in the world. If any thing Id say a high income makes you a worse person. You need to stop listening to this capitalist bullshit.

>>689332630
Has anyone really been far even as decided to use Even go want to do look more like?

>>689334246

underrated post

>>689336841
You and the rest of 4chan

>>689332630

I'm happy Orlando happened, and I have to go to a vigil on Monday and pretend I'm not. I think seeing the Special Snowflakes fucking wrecked is one of the purest forms of happiness for me. I want the gays to bomb a mosque in retaliation.

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>>689334246

>Squandering what precious little time you have left on this earth on the literal asshole of the internet

>>689337336
Same

I've never came from sex. I'm a dude.
Don't circumcise your kids /b/ it can cause nerve damage that doesn't get realized until it counts.

Had my girlfriend of 4 years leave because of a combination of this and her antidepressant induced sexual dysfunction.

Feels bad man

>>689336610
Phone was car

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My best friend has flirted with me numerous times but she has a bf and I have a gf and we'll probably never fuck and it kills me.

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>>689337336

Truly the greatest day in Floridian history since Trayboon Martin got made good

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sbM1c4H_pOg

>>689336700
Whenever we can. She's on a trip rn, so haven't in about two weeks

>>689336636

did kek you sad bastard

>>689332630
I was drinking for two days and pissed myself in public

>>689334246
Whatever comes after, I just hope its peaceful

I've raped most of my friends

>>689332630
My last 3 exs have all been fucked by my friends dog

>>689337613

I think Pride Parades are just a bunch of people being attention whores and literally the whole gay issue would become moot if everyone just ignored it. You aren't a special snowflake because you are attracted to your own sex, just accept it and live your life. If No one fucking cared about being gay, or telling everyone they are gay, or taking some absurd pride in it, this probably wouldn't have happened.

>>689336538
>be 13
>constantly watching disgusting porn
>stumble upon bestiality
>find vids of guys fucking dogs
>masturbate for a while until i decide to try it
>start with just getting licked for a few months
>finally decide to take the plunge
>try to fit in her pussy
>not in heat doesnt work to well
>idea pops in head why not anal
>lube up with spit and get balls deep
>pound away for like 30 seconds
> bust a huge load in her ass
>start to constantly fuck my dogs ass on the reg
>still do it to this day

>>689334916
Browsing /pol/ is catharsis for these. No sarcasm.

>>689335001
fuck is wrong with you

>>689337520
Dude you could be a fucken hero.. I fucken blow over the place.

I love to fap to the thought that my gf gets beaten up by one girl or a group of girls. She's really self confident and dominant, so this situation of changed roles makes me rock solid. Her crying, asking them to stop, peeing her pants, maybe getting her skirt pulled down and disgraced.
Am I normal for /b/ proportions?

I join dating websites to make female friends. I don't want sex or interested in an romantic relationship. I do want cuddles, though.

>>689332630
I am a pacifist, but only because I have horrendously violent nightmares. If not for that I might be an entirely different person.
But I don't want to go get help, it doesn't seem right.

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>>689338025
This^

/pol/ is one of the few escapes from the endless sea of SJW bullshit.

I'm a fairly well liked, socially competent and friendly person wherever I go, but the fucking long greasy haired ex weeb in me still carries a huge god damned knife in my backpack just in case of some shitpocalypse.

It'll never happen but that embarrassing part of me still believes a disaster is possible and doesn't want to be without protection, and every day I risk losing what I've finally succeeded in obtaining

>>689338171
i want to see this happen to most women

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this is 10/10 for me

>>689332630
I self harm. I cut up my legs, it started as a way to cope with negative emotion, but I don't even know why I do it anymore.
I stopped for a few months, and took all the sharp things out of my home. Bought a paring knife the other day, I told myself it was because I needed to cut food but that's a damn lie.
I knew what I would end up doing.

I cant find the login on 4chan

I hate being married

>>689332769
and I'm wearing none. also my pants being torn, my ball can be seen, but I don't wear these pants outside

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>>689338386
always carry a knife on you. always.

>>689338556

Elaborate

>>689336241
No he doesnt know. Cuz he never makes an effort to even talk to me. Cheated on him with a tiny dick asian.... Add insult to injury i know but fuck. Just kill me. Mhmm

Accidantally killed somebody in a fight and left him there

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>>689338062

This is the result of listening to Neutral Milk Hotel and playing World of Tanks WAY TOO MUCH

Plus a pretty serious case of maiesiophilia.

>>689338600
She never wants sex anymore, she's always sick, she tries to change me now, and I support us both

>>689338716

Please post tits and timestamp. I think cheatings kinda hot.

How long have you been with him?

>>689338761

Do you have children?

Do you have a prenup?

>>689337969
How did she take to it? Did she instanly like it or did it take a while?

>>689338812
No to both but I love her

>>689338761
...Dad?

>>689337969
damn for real? why?

>>689338876
Sorry kid, I'm not a dad

>>689338836
took a while i was just a horny kid trying to bust a nut but she eventually was fine with it

A little like ammonia.. but sweeter

>>689337694
I am interested because I have this fantasy that she would jack me off to her hand and then feed me my cum...idk why but its hot as fuck to me...

>>689338872
That's an abusive relationship, anon. Quit using love to justify it.

Take the stuff that is most dear to you, and slowly move it to a friend's house. She won't notice if it disappears over time.

Then, get a lawyer. If they say that you'll lose your house and car, then quietly put them both in her name, including the payments. Get your name off that shit.

Then, separate. Have your pad ready to go when the separation papers are served on her.

Time to cut your losses anon.

>>689338872

Marriage is not meant to be easy. You will eventually lose that hot, sex appeal and attraction to each other, sex will die down, you'll both get tempted to cheat and one of you might. But this is the nature of monogamy and long human relationships. Personally, I think you should divorce her while you still can. If you have kids it becomes a lot more complicated. If you've been married for less than 5 years and this is already going on, just save yourself the trouble. Single life is where it's at, at least for me.