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Nobody is gonna post in this thread but if someone is reading this and you're close to ending it. Please know that you're stronger than it and you will make it. I believe in you

>>689304123
Well at least you're out doing things and have a life.

>>689304707
I'm not doing anything and don't have a life, an empty shell worthless an UN happy

>>689304707
Tell me about it

Im really lonely like i have plenty of people to hang around with but idk i just dont feel dont feel complete one of my bros lets call him john is one of my best friends but idk lately ive been thinking about him and me im not gay (as far as i know never tried anything) but i think i like him and feel like if i told him he wouldnt want to be friends anymore (he dislikes the gays)

What do bros

When I was in high school, I was the biggest loser of all time. I had like 2 friends, wasn't popular and got made fun of all the time. There was a girl who had a locker right next to mine. On the last day before summer, my friends finally made me muster up the courage to ask her out. She was a latina girl and I thought that was super hot. So after going up to her, I'm literally shaking with anxiety and say "Hey-y-y-y, would you-u-u-u like to go out some-some-time."

She started speaking spanish and claiming she didn't speak English and I literally wanted to die.

When I told my friends the girl didn't even speak english,they looked at me like I was fucking stupid.

Turns out she probably knew more english than spanish.

That was probably 8 years ago. I still hate it.

>>689305977
Aw shit. Well I mean you need to really think about if these feelings are real or if it's maybe a passing lust and if they're really then go for it. Do what you need to do to get happiness

>>689306698
Fuck that bitch anon

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>>689306698
Honestly some bitches are just that. Bitches. I'm positive you'll find the perfect girl and when you meet her you'll forget about this for good

>>689306945
Thanks man. I've never written that story out. I'm married now and still, when I think about that day, I get super anxious and want to scream. Felt good to share.

>>689307493
Of course anon. Thats why I made this thread. Because I wanted people to share stuff and release themselves from pain. I'm glad I talked to one person today :)

>>689306815
Honesty wish i could i get along with him so well we like same things and everything last week we made plans to go to the movies and only me and him showed up and we watched me before you and we laughed and joked around abd every once in a while i thoght about us being together

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>>689304123

The outcome is not preordained.

im currently between semesters and i honestly cannot think of a single reason to go on living. i feel like a zombie nowadays, just waking up, eating breakfast, going to work, going to sleep, lather, rinse, repeat. im too lethargic to actually try to kill myself, but i have come to terms with the possibility that i could die at any time, and i honestly look forward to it.

i also feel like my relationship is falling apart. ive been in a lot of abusive relationships, and im afraid that i might be too clingy, but my current boyfriend seems just too okay with not seeing me for weeks at a time. he takes five hours to reply to my texts, occasionally blows off our plans completely, and i genuinely dont know whats going on and it makes me feel so unwanted and unloved. and its not like hes busy because hes also between semesters, doesnt have a job, and doesnt really hang out with many people. i think about breaking up with him literally every single day, but im afraid of what will happen if i do. im afraid of disappointing him, and im afraid of being alone.

A while ago about a year and a half me and some lads went to the mall this girl who i liked at the time went and we were talking as the rest of them were in game stop and i asked her "so do you like any one"( the whole night i was droping suddle hints like buying her a ice cream and eating next to her chating all night.ect...) and she said you promise not to tell and continued by saying it was my best friend (that night i layed in my bed alone till 4 am thinking about my life and if it was still worth it ) i hold nothing against either of them but it hurts somtimes you know because i still like her but i know she doesn't

I posted this in another feels thread about an hour and a half ago, but I'll post again to keep this thread alive.

Long story short, I've known this girl for a long time, and thinking back I've been smitten since I met her, but I only really admitted it to myself about a year and a half ago. And around a year ago I confessed to her. She said she felt the same way. Problem is, we go to different universities and plan(ned) on getting together after graduating. Here's where my heavy heart comes in, I know shes the one for me /b/ros, in my eyes there has never been a more perfect creature to walk to earth. To others she's probably a 7 or 8/10 at best, way I see it shes a fuckin 12. Shes smart, funny, loyal, caring and supportive, shes always there for me and can make even the worst days be like heaven. I love her with everything I am and nothing would make me happier than to wake up every morning next to her. But what has me up at 2 o clock every night or later is the pit in my stomach. I don't think she really feels the same way. Shes always said shes bad at putting the way she feels down in words, but the dynamic between us in that respect has changed. We used to write each other sweet little love letters and tell each other we love them all the time, now after all this time, im the only one who ever writes anything mushy, and it never even elicits a response. And there have been many incidents when I tell her I love her and she blows it off completely.

Tl;dr I've found the love of my.life, but I might not be the love of hers.

Hey man, I lost my girlfriend of 2 years almost a year ago and this week I went on a cruise, really liked this girl and I ended up fingering her twice. Then I found out she did the same with 3 other guys this week. She was so beautiful and funny and smart, I'm not upset as much as I am disappointed.
What I'm saying is, life is depressing. It really fucking sucks man. And the only way to survive it is to embrace it. I smoke weed on the daily and just chill out and embrace being alone. I have feelings and things really do hurt sometimes, but I just keep on keeping on.

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After two fucking years of waiting for her she goes and tells me she used to have feelings for me the first year we meet but now she doesn't.

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>>689304123

>>689309725
I know how you feel (story above you) i really love this girl but she doesnt if it helps after a while you stop caring but once that happens and you dont keep yourself preoccupied the dread sets in and its just soul crushing sadness fall right on you

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Here we go, fam. This may not mean a lot to any of you, but it means a lot to me.
I just found this picture of my old girlfriend (2 years) and I the night we broke up. I had just found out she had been cheating on me, again, so I had no choice but to end it. Broke my heart. Niether of us ever wanted it to be like that, or to even break up, but I just couldn't live like that with that weight. Had to do it. I accidentally took these pictures the night we broke up, about a year ago, and I just found them. Broke my heart, honestly.

Doing a shit job at programming in school. I don't know if I'll be able to even land a job if I make it. The worst part is I love doing it, but i suck ass.

Went to community college this year and I made no friends so after class came home and played video games fell asleep and repeated. Now summer is here and I just got a job that is 9 hours a day 6 days a week and it really tires me out so when I'm off I just want to rest.
So now I'm not hanging with my friends that all came back since I'm always busy/tired.
I honestly feel like killing myself because I barely have any positive social interactions now.
Any advice is appreciated whether its how to solve my problems or how to painlessly kill myself.

>>689308157
If these feelings are real then it's best to talk about them

>>689309100
You just described my relationship. Abusive. She only cared about herself and I always felt less than human. She made me hate myself to the point where if anyone showed me kindness it wasn't normal. I didn't want to leave because I was afraid I'd never be loved again

>>689309356
I know how that feels. To be the friend of the guy all the girls find more attractive than you. You're not alone anon

>>689310624
She said I was a "compulsive dater" and that I would be with any girl that wanted to be with me, and that's what I would do when we broke up. I told her that she would lose herself, as she had been waiting to do for so long. So, naturally. That's what happened. I'm currently dating a woman who I don't love, and the woman I really love is long gone. Adding insult to injury, she's the biggest slut anyone has ever seen. Really hits ya, you know?

>>689304123
I do really well with women im tall and handsome and outgoing but girls only really stick around if i dont care about them if i care i default to nice guy mode and spoil them and they get tired of it and fuck off its like having a buffet but only being able to eat stuff u dont really like so close to quitting alltogether

>>689311624
imo thats one of the worst parts about having been in abusive relationships. when youre so used to being treated like shit, anyone who treats you well makes you feel uncomfortable.

for me, im always expecting what i call The Flip. in my experience, an abuser will typically be incredibly nice. theyll act sweet and thoughtful at first and make you want to be around them 24/7. but then once youre sufficiently hooked on them, they'll turn into a monster. only youre too dependent on them to leave.

and then when im in a healthy relationship i end up ruining because im paranoid that the other person is going to Flip on me.

>>689312048
My ex ran towards the end was doing terrible shit. Running off with people I hate, lying to me, going out with exes and her excuse always was that they made her feel pretty. I called her beautiful every fucking day we were together and she only said that to make me feel bad. She can get anyone she wants and she knows that. So I'm the only one hurting

>>689312333
Same with her. All of a sudden she knows I'm not gonna leave so she does her best to hurt me in every way. Threatening to hurt herself, or cheat, and it broke me. I won't recover from that for a while and I'm so sorry you had to go through it too my heart is with you

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>>689304123
Contributing some of what I've saved. Until I get bored.

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>>689313108

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>>689313179

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>>689313215

TO MY FELLOW DEPRESSED /B/FAGS

I have spent the last year with suicidan thoughts, nightmares, and constant depression ... but it gets better. It really does. Don't give it to suicide. I can't say that I'm over my depression, but you learn to cope and you learn to find solace in places and activities.

>>689310112
She literally goes and talks to one of my friends just because he is "hot". Wow......after all she told me in the first year of meeting each other, after all we've talked about. My problems , her as well and now for nothing.

>>689313848
Why? Why doesn't she like me anymore? I lost weight for her... I waited for her.

>>689314211
Are you drunk bro?

>>689314562
Unfortunately no...

>>689314730
You gotta relax man. Now get it all out, nothing wrong with that, but you sound like you're on the verge of desperation. Find something to distract yourself and dont think about her. Get rid of everything that reminds you of her, stop talking, etc. Because you're this fucked up over her and there's no reconciliation for that. Theres no, let's be friends, at the level you're at.

Find somewhere you can talk to other women. Irl online, wherever. Just talk to other women, completely fresh and no strings attached. Keep it light and friendly. Get some contact with some women you're not trying to fuck and itll help. In time, you'll have moved on and maybe made a friend or two.

It'll get better man

>>689314211
>I waited for her

See, there's your problem

>>689316026
Thank you anon, its bad ever since I had contact with her. I've had dreams where we actually got together but I've had dreams where she has broken my heart. Sometimes I would wake up from the dreams where we got together all happy but just to realize it was only a dream. I guess me and her can't be friends.

>>689316443
Yeah, you need to cut her out of your life. You're obsessed my man. Get some normal, non self destructive contact with women and itll help tremendously, I promise. Don't torture yourself like this anymore bro, she's not worth it

>>689316443
It's funny, I normally come in these threads to tell you guys to nut the fuck up and get on with life, but you legitimately seem like you're on the verge of doing something stupid.

Drunk people talk like you were. Drunk people, and people about to commit suicide/homicide. Don't let your emotions run away with you like that. Call somebody. Dont worry about sounding like a loser or whatever, just talk it out. Know when to get help.

>>689317387
I'm scared talking to my family about it...they will think I am stupid and I don't speak to my father as much and I feel like he will be disappointed in how soft I am. I feel like they will just say to get over it.

its gotten to the point where im dreaming about just laying with a girl. nothing sexual, just getting some human contact.

>>689318489
Talk to a friend then. Or a stranger on the internet. If you dont talk to your dad very often about emotions and shit maybe that'll be a heads up that he needs to listen. I don't talk to my father about feelings and shit ever, but when my nightmares got so bad I was seriously considering suicide he sat down and laid some wisdom on me. We're both macho, manly men, dont talk about that shit. But he listened. He helped.

People might surprise you if you give them a chance.

>>689319165
I will try speaking to my father...I might breakdown in front of him for the first time but hopefully he can help...

I wish I had never told tory koshivas what I did and it's robbed me of my life

>>689321020
Anons of the world, why are we self destructive

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>>689321020
>>689321169
Then she came along. I was so very much in love. She said she loved me. I believed her. I would do anything to be near here. Then, out of nowhere, I wasn't important

>>689320351
At the point you're at you need to swallow your pride. It sounds silly but we're stubborn and try to hold on to it past the point of no return. You gotta get help.

He might tell you to get over it. It's solid advice, despite how callous it might sound. Ask him how. Focus on how to get over it, don't wallow in self pity.

>>689304123
>got a decent job
>good future
>no vices
>girlfriend is loyal
>good friends although not many
But what really gets me
>no one will really love me
>no one will cry over me
>no one will want me
>no one will cling to me
>no one will wish they had me
>I have no one to go to
>no one will ever be wanted by me
>I will never save a life
>I will never live a life
for as short and meaningless life is, I just want that one person who will cling to me, and cry over me, and want me.

But it will never happen. My girlfriend is simply content with me. She doesn't love me, and i don't love her. We're simply fine with being with each other. We're not happy, but we're not unhappy either. We're stagnating.

>>689322029
Find somebody else then nigger. You said yourself life's too short, why waste yours? And you're living life now, welcome to the party, it sucks sometimes.

And wtf is that about saving a life? What does that even mean?

>>689322029

Yeah man I know what you mean. Sometimes I have dreams of this certain female presence which shows me 100% pure love and shit. Makes me want to kill myself knowing I will probably never find such a girl, to feel such genuine things for me. I mean my mother is an amazing woman, but she's just that, a mother.

I need a hug yo

I've taken too much psychedelics and dissociative that it's hard for me to grasp the reality of life anymore, especially the consequences of my actions. For most of my life, I've skirted death and homelessness by sheer luck, and it doesn't seem to be running thin any time soon.
Also I feel like a horrible person for wanting my dad to die. He's done nothing but care, but something about the man makes me want to puke, and I know a great burden would be lifted if he ceased to exist.
Sometimes I want to die, just to see what it's like, but life's been too much fun for me to quit now.

>>689321834
Thank you for the advice anon

Start smoking weed. Probably won't help with your grades but it'll clear up those nightmares.

>>689323006
Grow a pair, faggot. There, I shitposted which was my goal. You'll get better man, I promise. And you're welcome.

I can't believe I'm doing this, as it's very very far out of my norm, but here's an email I have for 4chan, hit me up if you want.

[email protected]

Now excuse me as I brace for the incoming gore, porn and CP that's about to flood my inbox.

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>>689322716
You sound like a giant, massive piece of shit. Next time you have those feelings of wanting to die, give in to them. The world will be a better place.

>>689323766
Lol I will email you anon if i need your help. Is that okay?

>>689324098
What part triggered you in particular?
Sorry I think my brain is damaged to the point where I can't register a blatant insult as particularly meaningful.
.

>>689324190
Sure, why not. It's my birthday so I took the day off, got fuck all to do.

Does anyone know any good sad rap songs?

>>689324324
The part where your brain is so fucked from drugs that you want your father to die because he's some sort of imaginary"burden".

That, and your smug ass attitude and the fact that you probably think you'll live much longer because "lol luck isn't running thin" I know a lot of junkie scumbags like you, you've got about 5 years max before your in a ditch or sucking some cock in a jail cell.

People like you are parasites.

>>689324543
All the Shine - Childish Gambino
Lost Ones - J.Cole
Own It - Drake
Company - Drake
Real Friends - Kanye West
Idk how familiar you are with Rap, but that's just a nice starting set for you if you aren't.

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I'm a bit worried lads. I had asked out a girl I've known since HS a week ago (home for the summer from college) and those plans didn't pan out. I thought she flaked. She exclaimed she had work and had to get her phone fixed, also telling me she would be off Tuesday. I decided to give her a second chance. I also made a mixtape for the hell of it. Today, after I had finished working out, I saw a fresh tweet from her saying she was going to a "Lil Uzi" concert with one of her friends in 2 days. My heart began to panic. Later that night, to be safe, I sent a reminder text about the date. No response. I'm thinking of calling her tomorrow, no fucks given. Should I do it?

>>689324788
Well my dad is a pretty worthless individual. Doesn't take care of himself, lives off his parents, lets his house goes to shit, only has a dog to keep him company because his hygiene is sub-par, let alcohol tear our family apart. Very few redeeming factors about the guy, and the knowledge that I share genetics with what many would classify as a piece of shit doesn't do much for the self-esteem, which would be where the burden stems from. Psychedelics have just made this feeling more pronounced.
Still sort of love him, out of like obligation, but generally I want nothing to do with what could loosely be called a man.
Hm. I think you may have misinterpreted the tone as being smug when it was a rather neutral statement, like I'm surprised I've made it this far, and probably will more-so, but yes I suppose someone like you has to struggle so yeah that is smug and the best you can do is hope I end up in a ditch or sucking a dick, when probably neither will happen.

Are you a business owner?

>>689304123
At least you had a girlfriend.

>>689325149
Also, anyone here that's dealt with this kinda shit?

>>689324098
Well you are a massive piece of shit. Judging others on an anonymous internet image board.

>>689325386
Well, I guess the Apple doesn't fall far from the tree does it shitbag?

And you keep thinking that you can live life like a retard and nothing bad will happen, it's not like millions of other people have thought the same thing and lived the exact life you're living now, right?

Junky assholes like you are all the same. Enjoy Tyrone's cock ravaging your asshole when you get locked up for possession with intent to distribute because you need more and more drugs to get high, I'm sure you'll be really disconnected then.

Seriously though, kill yourself parasite.

>>689324543
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VMYAEHE2GrM

the ultimate in sad rap songs

>>689326094
>oh noes! he invaded my hugbox!
wheredoyouthinkyouare.jpg

>>689325862
Move on to the next, don't live your life waiting for other people. If she was excited for your date shed have texted you back, and shes obviously already planned over top it. Don't call her just go do something else dude.

>>689326234
He was being an asshole for no fucking reason. I know im on /b/ but people dont have to be dicks for no fucking reason just because they can hide behind they computer screen.

>>689325149
You messed up /b/ro, you gotta keep your hands off the wheel.

>>689326157
In some ways, sure. I inherited his predisposition to addiction and eyes, both of which are readily complimented fellow scummy people, and even some envious normies, like you I'm presuming.
You don't sound very adventurous, is this why you flare up on a person that you've hardly met?
I've already overdosed, and been in other perilous situations, but came out relatively okay. I'm sure, maybe, one day I'll slip up, but I'm not going to live my life worrying about it like some kind of coward, like, well, you.

You know prison rapes are largely mythological though. Also, why does he have to be black? And why do you assume I'm white? Are you projecting your cuckold fantasies on me?

I won't, other people would be unfortunately bummed and that tends to outweigh the vehement hatred of someone that's more invested in my the outcome of my life than I am.

>>689326720
How so man? Many people have said that's it's recommended to remind someone of a date, and help ensure that the date is either good to go or rescheduled.

>>689326560
Take it easy man, these threads get trolled to fuck all the time. Hell I've done it before, but that's another story and I was in a much worse place. Dont let your jimmies get rustled

>>689327156
She's not interested bro. I guaran fucking tee it.

>>689327183
Listen to the man, anon.
I'm the dude he's insulting and I'm not even as butthurt as you.

>>689327156
She isn't interested, she just said to give her a second chance to makw you feel good. Fuck that hoe find another one.

Some feelsy music for anyone who wants it
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7kqI5fAlv5E

never had a gf and wont have one until im done with school and have a job that can make me financially stable.

I never understood why fags in middle school, high school even bothered with relationships. even college. unless you are financially stable why even bother looking? just be friends until then. girls are just a distraction from grades and your goals

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>>689327776

here's my story. Don't judge please. I know some of it sounds stupid to an outside perspective.
>Met girl back in December of 2014, sounds stupid but fell in love, absolutely fucking bonkers in love our first conversation.
I could just *feel* it in my... soul? body? spirit? heart? I don't know.. I've been married before (divorced) I've had girlfriends since I was 14 (not a beta faggot, from 14-21 the longest I'd been single or without a few girls was a month or so)
Anyway
>I was blind sided by "her" just.. Her. Everything she is, everything about her, she has her flaws, and I won't lie, I've hit girls before for being rude, for cussing at me, for name calling.
To quote Bill Burr "Don't settle down until you find the right one, you know she makes you wanna slap the shit out of her but you don't, there's just something about them you can't leave"
>We're together for a year, we met shortly before she went into a psych ward for depression, I was the only person who visited her, Her family is hella conservative, and hate me because I'm 7 years older than her, tattoos, long hair, general "bad boy" outside, but I'm self employed, I have two degrees and I'm doing good for myself.
>I catch her lying to me, she has Borderline personality, I know from my marriage that white lies come part in parcel to that, and I over react.
>It gets to the point where she's lied so many times, and I'm still gunshy from my ex-wife, she takes selfies whenever she goes anywhere, not because I distrusted her but because she did damage to the trust.
>We end up getting into fights, she pulls more borderline personality, bipolar shit, starts flirting with other guys behind my back, and we break up (I dumped her)
>fast forward about 3-4 months, I call her drunk on New years that year, I missed her despite it all.
>Make crude, over zealous sexual advances.
>She obviously doesn't like this.
>Admits she's dating one of her ex's.
>Fuck you cunt.
cont

>>689327483
I've sadly been getting that vibe. I thought I would be able to change that due to the past interest we had in HS. I thought she would be enthralled to see me after more than a year of not seeing each other. Time does change a lot I guess. I'm still tempted to call but more of just to get her to confess her true feelings or reason. Feels bad man.

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>>689327183
Yeah but I feel its better to wait till the day of the date. Ive drove too many women away by getting worried about the date and messaging them about it. Dont worry though bro, youll have other chances. This one might not even be over. Give it time /b/ro.

>>689309725
go for it man, worst case scenario is it doesn't work out and you'll either find someone else or work it out with her in the future. I was in the exact same scenario (sans dif schools with something else) and she didn't go for me when I went for her. after two years of trying to get her back I turned my attention to try and heal myself. Year after that, we started talking again, but on good terms. Six months later here I am, having become stronger and realizing that it's not 100% about her but myself as well.

Don't sacrifice parts of yourself for her anon, that's where you start dissolving into nothing.

>>689328443
I may or may not have a good piece of advice but I want other anons to weigh into this piece of advice. If it makes you feel better, confess your feelings but keep in mind she might not have the same feelings and be prepared for it. Hope for the best, expect the worst.

>>689328049
>Drunk me decides to start masturbating and antagonizing her.
>She doesn't hang up, but she gets really upset, naturally.
>Hang up, don't hear anything for a few days.
>Call her back, pretending I don't remember.
>Tells me she miscarried the faggot's child.
>Pretend to be sad for her, inside I'm clicking my heels. Serves her right for going back to that fucking degenerate piece of human garbage. Still though, genuinely empathetic towards her feelings. I lost a son of my own, not a fetus, a real person, so I know what it's like to feel that way.
>Things continue like this, I get looped into the role of half-boyfriend and it's bullshit. I'm not the type to keep quiet about it either, so i tell her, I say "look, I still love you, not going to deny that, and I think you still care for me too, so if you do care about me, don't fucking tell me about him, I'll be here if he hurts you but don't talk to me about it"
>She completely stops talking about him, except when he "fucks up" which doesn't make things much better, funny enough. Still hear about him every few days, because he's a piece of human garbage.
>He ends up cheating on her with some nigger
>She dumps him
>He hits her
>Full on ape rage mode.
>Destroy that little shit

>fast forward
>She's not ready for a relationship.
>Tells me she loves me
>Tells me that she's lucky to have me.
>Tells me she wants to be with me, but just wants to be single after everything that happened.
>Says she wants to be sure.

>Enter conservative fuckcunt parents who hate my guts (She's 18 and I'm... lol not)
>They find out we're talking again.
>Forbid her to speak to me.
>Only hear from her once every day or so for a few minutes.
>Hardly any texts.
>Assures me she loves me
>Says she knows it's hard.
>Can't sleep
>Can't stop missing her.
>I want her back in my arms where she belongs.
>Thinking about showing up and just moving her shit into my house.

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>>689328028
explain how is that autistic?

>be me
>13 yo betafag
>cute goth girl in my class
>get very well along
>start to like her
>never confessed her my feelings
>she was single
>a year later I leave school cuz they caught me carrying a switchblade
>a month after that I look at her pics in FB and see that she have a boyfriend
It's been 7 years and it still hurts.

>>689328950
>>cute goth girl in my class
cute and goth choose one

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>>689327183
Youre right, but the complete lack on empathy on this website just really bothers me sometimes. It makes me wonder how these people really are off this site.

>>689328859
I do feel it'll let my mind be at ease. A final answer. That I really wanted to see her but she only kinda-sorta wanted to see me.

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>>689327776

>>689327468
I just hate to see someone be so uncaring for someone whos been through some shit by all accounts. Its just not fair to you as a person, but like my friend says, fair is a place where you show animals.

>>689329086
Tell her than anon, if it will help your mind ease and ask how she feels but be prepared like I said. It is either she likes you or not. No bullshit like "maybe" or "only a little" thats all kindergarten shit. Also don't get stuck to this girl only.

I'm starting to lose my attraction towards women. I'll still be physically stimulated by their appearance, like if they were to rub my back or get excessively close to me. I simply can't help that, but by and large I find their physique, and all humans to an extent, to be very alien, despite sticking my penis in their vagina plenty of times.
I don't know what's wrong with me. I miss the magic of romance. Now it's just a sterile acknowledgment that other people would find them appealing.

>>689328879
It's only been a week since I've seen her, but it's fucking hard.
Part of me feels like she's not making enough of an effort, the other part of me understands that her father is an abusive shitstain and her mother is a neurotic basket case and I'm sure she'll get beaten or worse if they catch her.
She sent me a bunch of pictures of her trying on dresses the other day.... felt good... She's literally the most beautiful girl I've ever known, inside and out. Despite her flaws.
Maybe it's because I understand her... she's like a reflection of everything I was and I guess broken people deserve broken people, or not "deserve" but we're made for each other.
Like a broken mirror puzzle piece, her jagged edges fit into mine.
Not to sound like an edgy (hurr pun durr) faggot.

I miss her

>>689328517
>>689327156
replied to wrong post.

>>689329390
I have felt this way for about the last year. I thought I was the only one.

>>689329418
You're going to die alone

>>689328928
You said you wanted to be "financially stable" before entering into a relationship with another person. thats weird.

>>689329344
As bleak as it may seem, you get used to the abuse until it's as emotionally-charged as doing the laundry.

>>689329086
Just don't sperg out. Be concise if you're going to do that. Don't write a novella, alright champ?

>>689329348
I'm well prepared for that shit. If she's not in, she's out. I'll go back to college with her in the rear view mirror.

>>689329575
Elaborate, anon. I'm interested in how it developed on your end, and how you've managed it.

>>689329800
That's the spirit anon, good luck.

>>689329583
You say that like it's an insult

>>689328928
I'm not going to explain how something is autistic to an autist. They dont get that it's autistic. That's kinda the main thing with autism.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJJ8hWDXWGs A sort of sad song, for those of us who wants "to bleed it out a little".

>>689329959
In other words I can call anything autistic and get away with it.

>>689329085
Probably half normal, half crazy as shit like most people. You'd be surprised what people will do with anonymity. Well, you're on b, just look around

>>689330097
So you want to find a girlfriend after you're getting $$$? Do you want a loyal girlfriend?

>>689329710
Right. I know what to say, and how little or how much.

>>689329418
You sound like a 12 year old.
>>689329583
Is right.

>>689304123
I try to compartmentalize my emotions otherwise I cannot deal with them all at once. I just seperate. I box them up and don't devote any energy except to one. Then once I'm done, I move on to the next one.

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>>689329688
Nice dubs /b/ro, keep persevering.

>>689330256
Take a look at cringe threads and you'll see why I brought that up. People get diarrhea of the mouth over text, (which is crazy as shit honestly, I mean you have to type that shit out and read it wtf?) and blow shit that didn't need to be blown. Good luck breh

I've lived my entire life with a flat line effect, and just recently it broke because a friend I've known for pretty much since I could remember, is leaving to join the military. It wouldn't bother me if he had gone to a military academy and all that beforehand, but he's going to be the lowest possible rank, so he's going on the front lines.

So basically, I just recently had the ability to truly feel.

>>689330200
I'd imagine he would want to date someone who is making around the same as him because they're both productive adults.
Fuck, you're right, rational lifestyles are SO autistic.

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>>689329959
>>689329672

have fun being cucked to a guy with money fag

>>689330097
No, not understanding a normal part of human development because "lol not financially stable" is autistic as fuck. Literal autism, questioning why middle schoolers have girlfriends because they can't support themselves.

You're on a computer, look this shit up.

>be me
>19 year old kissless virginfag
>diagnosed with autism as a kid
>never let it get to me, was a normal kid apart from bad school attendance
>Skip forward to around a year ago
>Started losing interest in my hobbies
>Slowly descended into spending all my time in my room on my computer
>Started getting weird feeling in my brain
>Constant pressure/itchy feeling in front of brain
>Along with it nothing feels real anymore
>I feel like I live in a video game or tv show or dream
>too depressed and lazy to get help or seek it
>just waiting for my eventual breakdown where i off myself or something
>can't see a future for myself with this feeling in my brain

>>689330782
Oh, didn't see that part. I'm bad about jumping into shit out of context. You're right. That's completely autistic.

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>>689330573
Yes, because he didn't specifically mention high schoolers and middle schoolers. Fuck, its almost like you can't read retard.

>>689330151
I dont know, I like to think most every one is a good person, despite what they do or say on here. I just have to believe people as a whole are better than this other wise I think Id kill myself.

>>689330985
Yeah, my bad. It's late.

>>689330687
I try to give as little of a fuck about money as I can. Money is the root cause of almost all of societies issues and it disgusts me.

>>689330543
Fair enough. Thanks bro.

>>689331028
As a whole? Yes, because we have a society and culture that generally cultivates that. But here? Nah son, people get to let the beast out here.

I refer people to this site when the topic of an apocalypse comes up. Just spend an hour there, I say. It's awful, they reply. Yes. It is. And that's what people are like when the cards are down my friend.

People have it in them to be monsters, don't ever forget it.

>>689331715
I think society makes people into monsters, but unless youre a sociopath or lacking empathy, your a good person deep down. Education also makes people better, more caring people.

You just don't have to give a shit

This happened from about two years ago until now
>theres this girl at school, easy 8/10 qt3,14
>become friends, send each other snaps and texting all day
>be the nice guy. after two months when i really started liking her, she lost interest and friendship vanished.
>almost a year later we came into contact again, exactly the same shit happened because of my lack of confidence and ability to be alpha.
>i told her i really liked her and wanted to date nut nope..
>nocontact.txt
>six months down the line ( last januari) she sees me at work, by now i've learned to grow a pair and try to cut her off.
>makes remarks about how fit i've become (gymfag)
>later that day she starts texting me about how she missed me.
>be a blunt asshole throughout although i wanted to tell her she's the fucking love of my life.
>make her work for meeting up with me.
>get some killer head first time we meet up again.
>ohshitthisisworking.esm
>shes almost begging me to take her as her girlfriend at this point, but i think that would take the fun out of it.
>tl;dr not giving a shit attracts women

>>689332391
Man fuck you. just do it for frustrated guys like me. It will make you happier probably.

>>689309206
tfw name is David
tfw have sister named charlotte

>>689332700
You should try it, i mean what's there to lose?
Women want a man thats sweet at the right times, not all the time

What has helped me to go on through the years:

Realize that life is just us acting on our instincts, behaving like what our brains tell us to do. We are simple organic machines. Life is pointless.
After death, there will be nothing at all. No good, no bad, no boredom.Nothing. You'll be gone.
Your life is irrelevant.

Now, some might get depressed off of this, but for me personally, it helps me feel positive and great.
Worst case, I'm dead and don't care anymore.
So I just live my life, try my best - which turned out great for me now, I'm very successful.
Chase the events that make your brain instinctively reward you.
Don't believe what people/media tell you about what you need to do to live a fulfilled life, do what feels good.

>>689333175
Trust me dude ive been trying, ive had at least 5 good tries over the last year and none of them have worked out. The girls always become disinterested in me after a short while.

>>689330344
Call me when you get married, go through divorce and watch your kid perish.
You're too young to understand, son.

>>689330344
At least he cares about someone.

>>689331233
kek, just because you dont care about money doesnt mean she doesnt

>>689304123

No matter how bad you think things are, the reality is far, far worse.

>>689335764
Im not going to pursue money for some woman, If I have to they probably dont care about me as a person. I want people to love me, not what I have.

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My bf has been using meth and lying about it. Causes him to be emotionless zombie that cant even keep his dick hard for me. He never calls or tries to visit so I kinda lost it the other night and cheated cuase I dont think hes even into the relationship with me at all. I really want to kill myself and sure 98% of b would encourage cuz typical cheating woman etc.

>>689336384
no girl wants to date a broke man. its not because shes a golddigger but because if you have kids you need to be financially stable. Maybe you dont care for that but when i start dating ill always be thinking, hmm is this going to go anywhere or nah

>>689336566
Always hurts when someone cheats. Please dont Kill your self. Someone real close to me shot himself and It really fucked me up finding him, I dont want that to happen to anyone else

>>689336914
im not broke. I have a job a place of my own. You dont need a lot of money to live and have a good time.

I woke up this morning really tired after only five hours of sleep and I can't go back to sleep :(

>>689337490
depends on how much you have. studies show salary and happiness is positively correlated up to when a person's salary is 80k

>>689337732
That only because people let money run their lives. Also money brings with it large amounts of power over other. People like power.

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>>689337170
Im the one that cheated cuz apparently im a disgusting scum. Think you missed a part surely youll change your tune : /

>>689338157
Well, your bf is a junkie now, people who date junkies start to cheat because they know on some level that they want out of that relationship

>>689338157
Does it hurt you?

Coming from someone who was cheated on I know It fucking hurts, I makes you feel like you were not good enough. However in your case hes a meth head who treats you as nothing. I can see a reason to cheat thats valid in your case

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>>689336566
We all fuck up, that's part of being human. If you truly love him with all your heart and soul then the important part is staying with him, owning up to what you have done and working through this hardship between you two and making it work. Love isn't real if it only exists when things are good and the skies are blue, love is being with someone through it all, hell and high water no matter what it takes self sacrifice and all. Don't kill yourself, your life still has purpose, your time is now. Your man needs you more than ever and you should be there for him, through the good and the bad. One last thing as well, /b/ isn't one cold heartless monster, though on the surface it may seem that way it is evident that the feels threads contain our last shreds of humanity, the last bit of heart under all the circuitry and wires. Feels threads our the bare minimum for /b/ and shows somewhat that we still have humanity because we want to help others so they don't become heartless husks like ourselves.

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>>689338745
He never makes an effort to call or visit me, when we do hang out he seems, I dunno, uninterested, distant, lights on but noone home. He will eat me out for as long as i like but he cant even get his dick up for me. I think hes permanently damaged and im prolly wasting my time anyway but man, i feel like shit for what i have done anyway.

>>689339015
look up schizoid personality, sounds like he has it, the zombified drug addict.

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>>689338965
I genuinely do love him but this zombie mode hes in, i dont feel he loves me back. His mind is broken and i dont know how to even help him.

>>689339206
this
>>689339184
meth heads are not zombies they are hyper as fuck.

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>>689339184
Hes an empty shell really, going through the motions, talking marriage, kids, he works but seems emotionless at all times.

>>689339015
Ever hear the saying "Time heals all wounds"

You will feel like shit but thats life, You loved the old him, how he was before becoming a "zombie"

>>689339370
hence schizoid, also the drugs, i have spd and it sounds like he is ill not just an addict, the addiction is a part of the disorder, meth heads are extremely violent and dangerous.

>>689339370
that sucks. i've got a good friend who recently started gettin spun on meth a lot more. i just don't hear from him anymore. he sometimes says he wants to hang out but then flakes out everytime. sometimes i will get a random phone call from him in a frenzy and then he hangs up on me before i can figure out what it was he wanted to begin with. really sucks because i want to go smoke more meth with him, but he is too high and busy to care. i know how you feel.

>>689326942
You sound like a massively edgy faggot though, just chill cunt. Not even the same anon, you're just trying too hard

>>689339513
Schizoid personality disorder is an uncommon condition in which people avoid social activities and consistently shy away from interaction with others. It affects more males than females. If you have schizoid personality disorder, you may be seen as a loner, and you may lack the desire or skill to form close personal relationships.

To others, you may appear somewhat dull or humorless. Because you don't tend to show emotion, you may appear as though you don't care about what's going on around you. Although you may seem aloof, you may actually feel lonely, even if it's hard for you to acknowledge. Or you may feel much more at ease being alone, and feel comfortable with your life. ". Interesting. Thank you for that.

all my friends just stopped talking me for no reason. no one is explaining to me why, or if it's a sick joke. not sure. i feel so damn lonely

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>>689339206
You would have been helping him just by staying close to him. He most certainly still has feelings for you but drugs do damage to people in ways that destroy feeling, lust, love, care for others and ones self. The only way to help him is to make him end his addiction and stay close to him whilst he recovers. If you love someone for real you should understand that just because you aren't getting something out of someone, that doesn't mean you should leave. A lack of displayed love does not mean there is no love.

>>689339922
yer it comes on suddenly in your 20's then just gets worse and worse, but it can be lessen by being more social, its like you suddenly turn inwards and can't stop being so introverted.

>>689340076
also you start to develop drug addictions due to the loneliness of self imposed isolation and introversion.

I have had major depression since the age of 12 (diagnosed by a doctor), and severe anxiety which has led to many panic attacks in my life. My worst slump was when my best friend at the age of 15 OD'd on heroin and died. I had nightmares nearly every night after that, and would wake up screaming, and got very sleep deprived, and started sleeping at school. I missed out on a lot of education at the time, and felt like killing myself, but I always reminded myself that atleast one person in the world, somewhere might miss me, and that was enough to keep me going. The thought of helping someone else, or the thought of bringing someone else pain stopped me from wanting to go the whole way through. I finally got help this year (I'm 18 now), and while everything isn't fine and dandy, I'm slowly getting better, I still have my mood swings now and then, and I need a lot of reassurance from friends. But I haven't quite given up yet. It get's better, be sure you're there to see it

>>689340259
fucking normie you have "friends" oh you poor thing you must be so depressed. fuck off.

>>689340353
>being this edgy

My cat of 20 years just died and my girlfriend of 2 years just disappeared without any explanation or reason why. I had to make my best friends grave-marker on my birthday. I am alone.

Just disowned a lifelong friend. Feeling sad that he has become a whipped bitch for a girl who is using him for his dick and money. I've been trying to help him for months but all he does is insult people and talk about how good he is. I had to take a stand but it feelsbadman

>>689310676
There's a major shortage of coders in the world anon. Keep on doing it, maybe get some extra help with coding, if it's an attention issue get some attention medicine or something, those really helped me

>>689340055
We were neighbors until a week ago. I got scared by his inability to communicate and decided to move a town over with my mother. He has only called me once since i moved so thought that was it. If you guys think we still have a chance ill trust you and start calling him everday and do weekend vists or something.

>>689324543
Eminem- Beautiful

>>689340575
You are never alone anon. Sorry about cat but, 20 years is a good long life for a cat. Anything maybe upset or change in relationship with your gf before she poofed? Also happy birthday I think? (Are you sam?)

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>>689340707
Double 07

>>689340757
Youre scared.

You shouldn't be scared in a relationship

>>689341081
Kek

>>689324543
Hopsin has some good sad themed songs.

Try out ill mind 6 and Tears to Snow, also Heather Nicole.

>>689340987
She was acting completely normal and very happy. I thought she needed time so I gave her a month. Nothing back from her. Never heard from her or never saw her again, despite my hardest attempts. I don't know who Sam is, sorry :/

>>689340692
He'll figure it out anon, be patient, youre the first one hell come running back to begging for forgiveness when he realizes you were right. When he does, slap him on the back and remind him you told him so and then everything should be back to "normal" in no time.

>>689341325
Have you been actually trying to call her, visit her, show up at her work randomly with her favorite lunch and some flowers etc?

>>689341552
I tried showing up at her place a good dozen times. Our timetables never quite matched in that regard. Did all that stupid-lovey dovey stuff like sending chocolate or whatever but still have yet to hear from her.

I held the cat in my arms while he died. I felt his breathing stop and his heart slow. I dont know how I'm gonna tell her and she treated the cat like a child.

Shit sucks, man.

>>689327776
I agree. Sadly I fucked up my future by getting a girlfriend in year 11. I didn't finish year 12 because I was always fucking her. I wish I waited

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Sad one.

My story is surely not as bad as other stories but I felt like sharing anyway.

>be me, have crush on this awesome girl (lets call her Martha) but she has a bf
>hide my feelings for couple months, try going after another girl
>another girl has bf too
>godwhy.jpg
>long story short i have a crush on Martha again
>some time passes by, Martha breaks up with her bf cuz he was being a jerk to her and all that stuff'
>I try going after her, kinda mention I have a crush on her
>stuff is looking good, it feels as if she likes me back
>ask her a couple times she says idk unsure because she just broke up with her bf recently
>some time passes, on a party she tries to kiss me but I refuse because she was drunk, like quite really drunk
>she tries 3 times actually
>i ask her later when she is sober (at least more sober than before) if it meant anything
>"idk"
>she seems a bit awkward and shy, says to message her when I get home from the party, seems like she likes me indeed
>iamhappy.jpg
>next day find out she kissed a guy at the party
>now this guy, lets call him Tommy, is kind of a jerk: 20 (we are just teenagers btw), has a car, etc
>even later I found out he wanted to fuck some girl but she refused so he was like fuck you then I will find someone else
>anyway I ask her about it, ask if she likes him
>"maybe"
>wellfuck.jpg
>stuff ain't going that well after that, I ask out couple times, "idk maybe" followed by 'no sorry"
>she then says she likes me as a friend and all this usual friendzone stuff. Says she really wants to be friends
>I am not exactly happy but oh well
>then she starts ignoring me on snapchat and irl too, says some shit about me, etc
>last Thursday she has fight with her ex, something related to him threatening her to show some guy her nudes
>she screams, cries a lot and all this emotional stuff, I still care about her so I talk to her a little after that
>she says she'd really like to meet up some time in the summer
Will continue

>>689345784
continue now

>>689345784
>I end up asking her out on Friday, she gladly agrees
>before that she always said like idk or some shit like that
>iamsohappy.jpg
>then yesterday on facebook I see she is in relationship with fucking Tommy
>it is 3 am, I feel like shit so I go out for a walk, end up walking 5 hours
>I also ask her if she is with him
here comes the fun/wtf part
>she: "yeah, but idk..."
>I ask her what does she mean
>she: "he forced me kind of..."
>we end up talking about stuff, she apparently thought I talked shit about her that was the reason she started ignoring me
>btw I never did that
>I ask her if she wants to be with Tommy
>"yes"
Now dear anons please correct me if I am wrong but what the fuck where is the logic. He forced her to be with him but she wants to be with him. I mean if she wants to be with him why would he have to force her?
>I don't want to be friends with her because my feelings won't go away and I will suffer around her only
>so I tell her to have fun with her life and so on
>she says don't be like that
>she asks if we can talk irl
>we decide to meet up some time today and I hope I can finally figure all this shit out because I am so fucking lost

Sorry for the long story, and thanks to anyone who read it.

P. S. If anyone is curious (why would anyone care?..) I might later today post how our talk works out.

>>689346342
Also, she is actually a very nice person so I don't even know why she acts like that.

P. S. I asked her if she has any feelings for me yesterday and she did not say no so it makes it even more un-understandable

>>689346342
Me, here, take my email: [email protected]

>>689346754
Aight sure, I think I am also gonna post it as a new thread, or maybe even in this one if this one is still alive by then.

>>689346878
Doubt it. Baww threads tend to die pretty fast, this one is an exception.

>found girl on POF that fucking sets my heart on fire
>Message her
>Go through other girls, hoping she will respond more than anyone
>Weeks later nothing
>Never seen her online
>Don't wanna give up
>Find her Facebook, her profile picture on POF was from like 2 years ago
>She barely ever uses Facebook, last post in February and before that was December, and then June

She posted where she works and all, so I could call and ask but I don't know man.

She absolutely melts my fucking heart, the smile and eyes make me feel like everything is going to be alright. But she's a fucking honor student valedictorian going to school for chemistry and I'm a college drop out about to work on being a EMT.

What do familia?

>>689347606
Sorry to break it to you, but she might have someone else already and she just doesn't want you to feel sad and thus does not respond on POF.

>>689347743
No mention on her Facebook at all, I seriously doubt it.

Also, I spend too much time on POF, she is NEVER online. And if you search users one within the last month she isn't even on it.

>>689310324
got shivers down my spine
almost cried

>>689347872
Well she might not be going on POF because she has a life with someone else already. I am sorry anon.