>>688914897
Used to be a hardcore pyro would light shit on fire all the time. Then one day i lit a pen on fire and lets just say burning plastic and ink hurts like a mother fucker.

Used to think that vaginas only had one hole. Women pissed and sex from the same one

>>688914897
That gif makes me uncomfortable for some reason

>>688915324
My dad explained to me that the pussy and asshole were at the same place, so for years I thought the pussy and asshole were one in the same and that babies came out of the ass. Luckily I was corrected soon after and didn't hit puberty in the age of pornhub. I would have been sooo confused

>>688914897
I used to think all races were equal.

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>>688914897
God

>>688915324
also believed this. in addition, i assumed the vagina was physiologically in the same place as the penis, as in up and pointing out of the crotch.

so in a way the opposite of
>>688915324

>>688916226
found the edgelord

chocolate milk came from brown cows and veal grew on trees

>>688916057
when I was like 3 or 4 and my mom got pregnant, I took it upon myself to get everyone in the house to "vote" for whether or not the baby would be white or black. i grew up on a military base where all of the blacks I encountered were decent human beings, which sorta explained my naiveté

>>688914897
I use to believe in santa

use to believe the world was a good place

>Stupid shit you did
I drew a penis on a girls cast in permanent marker, she had to wear it for 3 months but she put tape over it after about a week

>>688916504
Nah; he's right here
>>688915004

>>688915004
this so many holes burned in shirts

>>688916982
kek, I bet your dad thought this was hilarious
>or maybe not

>>688916863
brown eggs come from brown chicken
and white eggs come from white chicken.

and ananas/pineapple grows on trees...

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I used to think that the cartoons that I watched lived inside my tv and one day I almost broke the tv screen trying to set spongebob free.

>>688914897
when I was 7 i used to believe that money literally grew on trees. this lasted for 2 weeks until someone corrected me.

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When I heard about this thing called the "Super Nintendo" that was going to come out in a year or so, I thought that you would be able to put NES games into it and it would magically make the graphics better.

>>688917861
Did you try to pay for shit with leaves.

>>688916226
same

>>688914897
that i could gain the power to read minds or look through things.

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That women pee from where you fuck them.

>>688918079
kek

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>we convinced my 7 year old sister she was chinese

there are 5 of us in our family. she read somewhere in a book that every 4th kid born in the world was chinese. she was the 4th kid. she believed it for about 2 months until she went to summer camp and was made fun of.

>>688918318
kek

I thought we are all somehow connected to each and every species alive on the planet. When each organism corresponding to your existence died, then you died. It didn't last long, because a day later I realized how many species are endangered.

When I was really young, I heard the word "Breadfruit" but had never seen one.. somehow I began to believe that bananas were members of the breadfruit family and that they were really made out of soggy bread.

Was terrified of the color green because I associated it with aliens and had a crippling fear of aliens.

Also had this weird tic where I would have to put equal amounts of food on both sides of my mouth.

Also also if I was watching something scary, I had to exhale all my breath and not be touching anything when I looked away from the screen, so the "evil" wouldn't come to the real world.

None of this was triggered by anything as a kid, I just did and believed weird things and was super scared of shit. It was really hard to break the habit of exhaling, & I still do it by accident sometimes. I got over being scared of everything at least?

Don't know if any of you fags ever did light as a feather, stiff as a board but I believed it back then and I still believe it.

>>688918318
That reminds me in gradeschool I moved to a different town for a little bit, I told all the kids who were awestruck by the new kid that I knew how to write Japanese. I literally just drew a bunch of lines that intersected and made it look oriental. Those fucks never found out. After I did that the same day, I shit you not one of the 8/10's broke up with her boyfriend and asked me out. Bitch liked my scribbles I guess.

someone called me a fag and it was very hurtful

>>688918685
Dude fuck Aliens they still scare me.

When the Looney Tunes would be holding a large stack of items, and then added a feather to overcome the threshold of what the person carrying could hold, i would think they had really heavy feathers and didn't get the comedy behind it

>>688915004
pyro kid reporting in, 20 years ago, I almost burn my house. also used to set the dry stuff near the beach house of my grand father, let the fire spread a bit and then rushed to put it out with my brother, then set on fire a new spot.

Was little kid in new school decide im gonna be a hoss and sit by myself during lunch. Didn't know about assigned tables get bitched out by kitchen lady for breaking the rules.

I would hold my breath around retards because I thought it was contagious

FBI here: keep this shit coming. i need to whack my donkey

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was told at a young age the old adage that a tornado "sound like train."

every time I heard a train whistle, I would run to my mom and hold her until the train noise passed.

>>688914897

i truly believed that the pokemon in my pokemon red game for original game boy were alive , same with tamagochis, digimon, all that shit

For the first 13-14 years of life I didn't realize cum had a smell. I would just jack off, wipe that shit off on something and go about my day. Turns out everyone used to think I smell like cum.

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>>688919250
You get it

>>688919386
kek. i also had a bunch of "cartoons are real" beliefs.

Was doin a project onetime in 7th grade with gorilla glue, the little jar , at my house I pulled the cap off that has the brush connected to cap and for some stupid fucking reason I lit some that was oozing off the brush and it lit and I panicked and dropped it and it went into the jar and it lit floor on fire everyone in my house was freaking out. Such kek

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>>688919851
shut up

i did the same

When I was 10 I was ultra introverted and socially awkward and had a friend who was even more so. Everyday on the playground we'd talk and eventually we talked about our experiences discovering sex and porn. We'd always talk about it in full detail and I'd always get a boner just thinking about it. We talked for a while about blowjobs and wanting to see what they were like. We joked about sucking each others dicks a few times and then we actually started to consider it. Finally, one day I'm over at his house which is close to the school playground. We both ride our bikes there and walk over to a sort of "room" underneath the playground. We both pull down each others pants. One of his balls was bigger than the other which was weird but whatever.Before I know it I'm sucking his cock. Then he sucks my cock. We both agree that it feels good. This isn't the last time. We do it several other times in his room and I even try to put it in his ass one time but he stops me. Soon after that I moved several states away and never saw him again. We used to talk on the phone a lot but we haven't talked in ages. This really did happen. I'm much older now and I can confirm that I'm definitely not gay. That was just an experimental thing at the time and we didn't really know any better. Do I regret it? partially yes but I'm also kind of glad it happened.

>>688914897
I actually thought I could fly, this is because I had a dream about me flying that felt so real that I actually believed it. Then when I tried it "again" I just couldn't fly again so I thought maybe my powers need to recharge. Maybe they are still recharging and it all wasn't a dream afterall, I don't know man.

I thought I could get cancer if I jizzed and didn't clean my dick right

>>688919250
You aren't prepared for the staged invasion coming soon then(;

>>688920349
>sucked cock
>"I'm not gay guys"

Makes sense.

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>>688914897
Believed:
>Pokemon are real, as evidenced by how many animals are in the world
>Mortal Kombat is Chinese history
>If you're nice to women, they'll like you
>Every man *should* be open to dating fat women
>You should try to make friends and be social
>Christianity is truth
>McDonald's actually has good food
>Thunder is angels in heaven moving furniture around
>Africa's a pretty great place
>Hollywood Video and Blockbuster will always be there
>My family actually loves me
>I'll get married and have kids someday
>being an adult will be great!
>The sky is actually the roof of a shoe-box, and the stars are holes in said shoe-box
>BLOODY MARY, BLOODY MARY, BLOODY MARY
>Atlanta's a wonderful city to live in
>"rape" means getting stabbed

>>688920572
Yeah I know that's sound like total bullshit but it was experimental. And I didn't have any friends who were girls at the time so that was the next best thing.

>>688920502
Nah i dont give a shit about an invasion because thats not how it would go down. You think we are even gonna have a fight? They would just glass us from orbit or gas the whole planet. An Alien encounter would be a sudden terrifying happening.

>>688920963
Yeah I'm messing with you. I have had almost the exact same experience and I'm straight.

>>688914897
Used to think my heart would stop if I fell asleep with my hand on my chest. Don't know why

>>688920963
You sucked a dick and liked it. Your gay m8

>>688919901
Remember back when you first started jacking it and not even cum would out. I thought cum was supposed to be clear and that all porn was just stupidly fake.

>>688920818
>angels moving furniture
>sky shoe box
This is cute. Might pass that to my kids.

Fucking thunderstorms would scare the shit out of me would hide in the basement and turn up the TV real loud to block out the thunder. Now i love storms.

>>688921518
pls don't

>>688921637
Oh dont give me that shit. Its people like you who suck the fun out of things let me guess your not gonna tell your kids Santa's real to.

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>>688921834
I've already decided that I'm not having kids, kek. Getting a vasectomy the first chance I get...might have to go to Thailand for it though.

If I were to have kids or even nephews/nieces who asked me about it, I'd absolutely tell them Santa doesn't exist. I'd be that "one uncle" relatives don't want their kids around, because I tell it like it is.

>My mom says the Easter Bunny hides candies in eggs!
>Listen here, you little shit...

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>>688920818
>Johnny frantically runs a couple blocks home with tears running down his face
>He bursts open the door as his mother and father sit on the couch watching television
>"MOM, DAD, I GOT RAPED."
>his father replies "WHAT THE FUCK, AND YOU'RE BLEEDING TOO?"
>"YEAH LOOK I GOT RAPED." Said johnny pointing to a stab wound on his arm.
>Still frustrated, but now puzzled his father asks "What exactly happened?"
>"I was at the playground, I fell down and this big stick raped me!"
>His father sternly looks at him "Do you mean someone put that stick in you?"
>"No I told you I fell on it!"
>"Johnny."
>"Yes?"
>"Fucking kill yourself you little faggot."

>>688914897
I was standing on a rope trying to lift myself up so that i could fly.. fucking genius.

>>688916374
Same... actually

>>688922052
Why though what pleasure do you get from being an asshole?

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>>688922104
Fucking kek, lmao. But yeah, that's what I was originally told. In fact, an aunt of mine referred to sex as "sticking" a girl.

>I miss the 90s.

>>688922228
No pleasure, I just feel the next generation(s) should be more informed and better suited for the real world than the current and previous ones. Each generation is meant to be an improvement on the other, and we can't do that if we have future generations believing in fairy tales.

>>688921054
I said it's going to be staged. It Isint going to be real lol holographic or someshit.

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>>688922104

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My grandfather used to make clocks and watches as a pastime and I was always intrigued by the noises of the gears, especially when they were first being fit and tested before he applied proper amounts of oil, sometimes they would squeak or squeal so when I was a child the plumbing used to make these odd noises when the boiler would kick on, and the only thing I had seen that made those types of noises were the gears in my grandfathers shed, aka papa's workshop (also his secret stash of scotch was there, tell no one) so I used to imagine the walls were filled with clockwork gears, I used to believe other peoples houses whose walls didn't make noises like that had better oiled gears. I was 10 when they re insulated my room and I found it it was just pipes, my dad ruined a perfectly good imaginary world.

>Pic related.

>>688914897
islam

>>688915917
i was the exact same lol

>I believed all adults were mature and knew a lot, i was retarded as a kid apparently.

>>688922371
Its those beliefs that create joy though. Why rob a child of that fun until they grow older and grow out of it. Santa, the tooth fairy all create happiness in kids lives.

>>688921156
Huh
Imagine if you were the person I was talking about
Yeah. That'd be weird...

>>688918685
hey you actually sound like you have OCD compulsions that comes on with anxiety.

>>688919250
Same, I quit a job where I worked night shifts alone because I was too scared of aliens attacking me.
I'm am idiot.

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>>688922680
They create a headache for the parent(s), especially Santa. Every year, I'd have to compete with some bearded fatass for the appreciation of my kids, with me going out to Toys R Us or wherever, and buying some expensive gift so they won't start killing cats and such throughout the rest of the year. Fuck that! My kids are going to know right from the start that all that is fluff, and that they should have more faith in science, not pixie dust.

That is of course, if I were to have kids...which I won't.

>>688914897
I use to think I was gonna be a super hero when I was older

>>688920355
Bro, me too, and in the dreams i kept needing to jump to fly, like i kept needing to get a running jump to take off, start doing it IRL, probably looled like a fucking tard... shit was weird

As a kid, for some reason, I thought the tooth fairy would take my arms if I put them under the pillow. I don't know what made me think this, since I slept with my arms under my pillow pretty much all the time. I just somehow convinced myself that if I slept with my head resting on my arms with my pillow over them, I would wake up in the morning with bloody stumps.

>>688923030
I used to think the same thing...What the hell happened to you man, I had such high hopes for you...Fuck.

>>688914897
>My name is Jacob Lawrence
>HIck dad
>speaks Really fast
>I hear Jacobblawrence
>Get to Kindergarten
>Talking about Middle names
>say my middle name is "Blawrence"
>get into an argument with the teacher
>keeps saying no honey its probably "Lawrence"
>I had a major meltdown
>Mom has to come to school and sit down and explain that my name is lawrence

When I was a kid, I used to randomly see this guy in a trench coat and a hat (possibly fedora) walking around my house from time to time. I could never fully make out his appearance, just a silhouette.

>>688916226
E U P H O R I C

>>688923275
He gave me candy and when I woke up my butt hurt.

>>688922929
Great so where is your kid gonna get his moral compass from? Whats stopping him from killing cats when he realizes the world sucks?

>>688917681
kek same here

That the races were equal and blacks really were just victims of racism and oppression.

>>688923219
lol that teacher saved you from sounding like a hick for the rest of your life though.

>>688923433
why stop at cats?

>>688923394
Kek

I believed that Jerusalem was at the centre of the world, like in the south Atlantic, for absolutely no founded reason

>>688919522
Holy shit I'm that kid
I still do it though

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>>688923433
From me. I will teach him/her the right way to live, based on morals and ethics, by exposing them to various forms of philosophy (Greek, Buddhism, etc). Of course, as an adult, they'll do whatever, but I can only trust that they won't go on a shooting rampage. Not that they'd need to, since I would ensure that they'd be living good futures, having great grades, getting into the best schools, and having skills/goals. I'd be like a Tiger Dad, with of course, a Tiger Mom.

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This is the info of a rapist douche
>>688918302
Let's raid him

bbbbb

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I used to binge on dragonball z back when it was on cartoon network, and no, not that faggot "kai" shit. The original, and I had this friend of mine where we would frequently discuss how a human being could make a kamehameha one time in their life and immediately die afterwards. Unfortunately I never made that happen, but used to flex and cup hands trying my fucking damndest to make it happen. Cringing so hard at myself.

I used to believe in the Lechuza

>>688915324
I also thought this. Never knew

I believed that one ball hung lower than the other one because I jerked off, I thought I had messed up my balls and I couldn't even tell anyone because masturbation was a sin. Guess I just assumed they were supposed to be equal and extrapolated from there

>>688916057
>>688916982
I thought all white men were aryan... but then i saw some weired shit... and i also thought that a ll black men were niggers... but that wasnt true.

But i still get the slight genetic differences but its nothing drastic.

a bit of humanity and lots of science helps. and never forget to add a bit of experience

>>688914897
Believed :
Honour was real
People actually cared
Innovation could change the world for the better

>>688923723
That thread is pure cancer

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>>688923875
>Blacks are the Klingons of Earth.

>>688914897
i used to think girls had testicules too.

>>688923187
we never got a bite from a super spider and got powers sadly.

>>688917861
Kinda similar. I thought the ATM was a money machine. You could just go to it and get amy amount of money any time you wanted.

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My dad told me if I sleep without a blanket covering me a witch would come and make me levitate in the air

>>688923875
>i also thought that a ll black men were niggers... but that wasnt true.

The only difference between a black and a nigger is their proximity to other niggers

The smartest 'black guy' you know will instantly be reduced to 'sheeeeiiiit muhfugga' if he gets around a pack of dindus

>>688914897
Used to believe that the spiderman web shooter toys would work like spiderman's actual web powers. Like I'd be able to swing and pull things and what not. Then when I got em and found out it was just silly string I got extremely upset.

I didn't know that women's periods were a constant bleeding over a week. I always thought they had cunt cramps and then bled a fuck ton all at once at the end of the week.

>>688914897
My grandparents always told me the story of La Llorona. I never went outside after dark until I was 9

>>688923719
Philosophy will just teach him one extreme then.
What are you gonna teach him Bentham? your just gonna turn the kid into a unfeeling machine. Marx turns him into a commie. Descartes makes him question who he is. At that age the kid does not have the cognitive ability to truly understand philosophy.

>>688914897
socialism isn't all that bad

I used to think that when i eat food, it falls down to my feet and it would fill up all the way until i go to the bathroom

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>>688924147
absolutely false...

i dont know why, but you guys in america gave birth to all types of shitty families.

I'm from canada and black folks are some of the more cultured and well respected.

and your stupid nigger culture is slowly spreading to my country and i dont like it... its already started in toronto with the black lives matter.

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>>688914897
I once believed that /b/ was an epic place.

>>688924147
The smartest black guy would not surround himself with dindus. Unless they're an activist telling them to stop beating the shit out of each other and breaking the city for no reason.

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>>688924438
That's why I'll do it gradually, over time, rather than all at once. Up until about age 10, I'd have them learning things like calculus, computer science, geology, astronomy, literature, etc. I'd teach them everything they need to know, so that school will be no challenge to them. Real-world stuff too, but I will HARP academia like there's no tomorrow. I wouldn't repeat the same mistakes of the previous generation before mine. I don't care how it would make them "feel;" they need to know from the start that the world is not a pretty place.

This is all, again, *if* I were to have children.

>>688924609
He'd get called an Uncle Tom for not living on welfare and smoking crack

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once upon a time......bozongo

>>688914897
i believed that OP isn't a faggot

>>688914897
Once heard that during the WWII cavalry was in use. I associated that with horses, but knew very little more, so I believed in knights charging on tanks. For a month or so.

Women orgasm from sex.

My wife use to think that sex was putting it
in your belly button when she was a kid.. to this day I will not let her live it down.

>>688924987
they orgasm from your tears money and dreams

>>688924751
So the then you give him no social skills and cripple him.

>>688914897
Thought niggas were people

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>>688914897

I always thought euthanasia meant young people living in Asia (youth-in-asia)

>>688924108
Lol the trauma

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>>688925251
Who needs friends when you have accolades?

>'Friendship' is only worthwhile so long as you're getting something in return.
Such has been the case since antiquity. It's part of how the world works, you know.

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>>688914897
That my dad wouldn't blow his brains out on father's day

>>688918685
A also did the food thing. Still do to this day. Used to also split the food up equally on my plate but I've gotten to where i just keep track once it's already in my mouth.

I use to believe that if I couldn't see or hear it, it didn't exist. Mommy went to the store? For about 20 minutes mommy didn't exist.

>>688919522
>>688923689
me too

>>688914897
I used to think there were monster in my closet and under my bed.

Then I learned they were inside me.

>>688917585
lol dutchfag

>>688925726
Almost all other languages uses ananas as a synonym for pineapples.

i was molested when i was nine

>>688922646
i still do that. even if i shoulda know it better

>>688926013
jk it was consensual

Stupidest shit I ever believed in was;
"Race doesn't matter in the USA."
"White people have ethics."
"Equality is for everybody."
"Honestly is the best policy."
"Love isn't a competition."

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>believed my parents were abducted and replaced by aliens (wearing their bodies as disguises etc.)
>girls had balls but no dicks, too young to understand what sex was
>black people's hair smell really bad because they have wool for hair like sheep and it traps all the bacteria
>girls can get pregnant from kissing
>I could send messages to dead relatives or pets through concentrating really hard

>cashiers give free money to grown-ups

>>688926733
honestly what, faggot?

>>688922707
Nah, I think I just had weird tic as a kid. I don't have anything associated with OCD nowadays & stifled the shit out of my weird kid behaviors.
Anxiety & depression, yeah. Been told I might be ADD but I haven't talked to anyone about it so no care.

>>688926788
>>believed my parents were abducted and replaced by aliens (wearing their bodies as disguises etc.)
I think that's capgras.

>>688925446
How are you gonna get those accolades if you cant make friends and converse with people?

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>>688916863
thought black dudes had brown cum...still on emission to find out. So far my findings indicate my hypothesis is wrong.

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>>688927150
By doing exceedingly well in school, hence all the pushing I would be doing in my children's academics.

I used to think a yeast infection was an infection on your feet. Then they used that to make bread. Didn't realize its pussy leakage.

>>688925517
I've managed to pretty much totally stop it. Only thing I have issues with is the exhaling thing, but that's just when I'm tired.

Me and a friend would have energy battles, like cops and robbers but with energy. We would shoot energy at each other and climb over shit and just be so goofy. His name was Joseph, pretty cool guy

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>>688927216
>

Black people have purple blood.

thought my parents loved me

>>688922529
haha, cute, like the (tell no one )
>>688922929
*Fedora tipping intensely*
>>688923219
I LOLLED HARD! HAHAHAHA! The hick accent and how u said he talked so fast, I can imagine it haha.

>>688927310
You can get yeast infections in your mouth too.

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>>688927400

I thought that the fire station was where they made fire. I also thought a small local school was the fire station and I screamed "FIRE!" whenever we drove past it.

>>688927290
What you gonna be there his whole life? Controlling his every move? He is gonna resent the shit out of you and turn into a drug addict.

I used to love the feeling of running around naked outside and howling. Was a pretty freeing feeling.

>mom tells me that birds will think its a worm
>cookout with family
>decide to run outside anyways
>get out of pool and leave trunks behind so body dries off faster
>people start to laugh
>bunch of birds around because food everywhere
>tell mom the birds aren't doing anything
>cousin punches me for a laugh
>thats when I stopped doing that for the rest of my life
>always am nervous going skinny dipping that some kind of consequence will be had.

>>688924432
In dutch we got "Head-Hunters" really failed attempt by my mom to not make me go outside at night, Instead, I constantly went outside at night to encounter one, Im probably gonna tell my kids straight that if they go outside at night they gonna get raped.

>>688927577
>You can get yeast infections in your mouth too
only if your more degenerate than a vagoo

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>>688927800
Resentment is irrelevant. Their FEELINGS are irrelevant. They must learn everything my parents failed to teach me in order to be sufficient, and I cannot allow myself to make the same mistakes as those who came before me.

Besides, those children won't be so resentful when they become wealthy, well-educated engineers, doctors, business owners, or w/e the hell and see all those others they tried to socialize with working at Moonbucks and WcDonald's for the rest of their miserable, irrelevant lives. My children will be the best children EVER.

But of course, this is if I were to have children, which I likely won't.

>>688919769
Me too! When I was little my older sister said that tornadoes sound like trains. We lived near a railroad track. I'd freak out when a train came through. I figured it out after a while. To this day I dont think she realizes what she did.

>>688914897
you know those big stacks that billow out plumes of VERY white smoke?

I used to think that is how clouds were made

>truth be told, i still don't know exactly what those are

>>688928086
Why aren't you gonna have kids?

>>688927998

Non-degenerate vaginas can get yeast infections. Especially if vagina owner is taking antibiotics

>>688927998
Or old as dirt
So many old people come into the office I work at with yeast infections

Unrelated but old people are sluts

>>688925446
Middle School was rough on you aye?

>>688928278
Evaporation and cooling.

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>>688928282
>Children are expensive
>Women/baby mothers are fucking nuts
>World has enough people as it is
>I generally don't like children
Pretty much those reasons.

>>688928356
No. Why do you say that?

>>688927378
see this>>688927216

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>>688927400

>>688928316
Knew somebody that never had a yeast infection in her life until after she had an abortion, then she had them monthly right before her rag

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>>688920963
mfw next best thing to being straight is being gay

I used to think that the flashing lights on a airplanes and helicopters would flash green if things were going well on the aircraft and would flash red is something was going wrong. I remember it being about 50/50 red and green so half the times I saw an aircraft I would freak out and try to get people to "help the plane."

>>688928571
no it's being bi-sexual

>>688914897
horses were the boys and cows were the girls

as in cows and horses were the same species, and the males had horse physiology, and the females had cattle.

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>>688928282
>>688928439
>finding some to fuck him
The real issue.

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>>688929415
I'm not a virgin, if that's what you're implying.

>>688929045
What were bulls

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>>688916226

There was this glass coffee table in my living room and I decided it would be fun to jump off of it when I was about seven, the glass shattered.

When I was 10 playing football I decided it would be funny to hit my friend in the pads with that sand pylon by the end zone, I missed the pads and hit him straight in the gut. All the coaches started yelling at me.

When I was in like sixth grade there was this like etiquette class's where you learn manners and how to waltz and stuff. Most of my class's at school went to it and we would go eat at a restraunt afterwards. My friend hit my face into the syrup of the pancakes I was eating, I got up to wash my face and he ran to the bathroom. He ran to the stall to hide, I wanted to scare him and so I kicked the stall a few times then the door broke. I just washed my face as everyone ran in and looked at it.

>>688914897
I though people lived where they worked.

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>Affluent suburbs were suburbs where people had afros

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>>688914897
>Stupid shit I did
One time I thought it would be fucking hilarious to pull the chair out from underneath a really pretty girl in my class. Nobody laughed and I got chewed the fuck out by the teacher. Somehow didn't get a detention out of it.

>Stupid shit I believed
Was convinced by some fucktard at school that PokeRUS in Pokemon was something in the game that would slowly kill off my Pokemon and I would see a cutscene where I would lay my fallen party to rest. I didn't want to lose my party nor did I want to start a new game so I didn't play my Pokemon game for three months. Didn't find out he was full of shit until I looked it up when I was in high school.

>>688914897
i believed life would get better

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>>688923394
>06/10/16(Fri)21:31:26 No.688923394

Government has your best interest at heart. Democracy is a great form of government. Gun control stops gun violence. (Cringing at self)

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>>688914897
I thought that a vagina was like a ballsack that the woman would swing back and forth as it makes contact with the man's penis. I was pleased to find out this wasn't how it actually is. In most cases.

You were not alone

>>688931540
... who? what?

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>>688931197

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>>688914897
When I was like 10 I confessed to the school reverend that I had diddled around with a classmate because back then I feared that not confessing a deadly sin (lust) would mean I'd go to hell.

he probably told my parents.

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I guess...all in all, I do kind of miss the road-trips my relatives would force me to go on. At least, then, I wasn't always alone.

>>688918847
GOD TIER

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>>688914897
I called the cops on Angelica Pickles for being a cunt.

>>688922371
You sound like Dwight Schrute. Thats a sure sign to end your life.

>>688914897
I used to believe that sucking off my brother would make my dick bigger. Lying fucker.

As a kid, I thought that souls looked like depleted uranium rods (like in the simpsons)

>>688933088
It would if you let him suck your dick.

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>>688933081
Don't know who he is, but maybe he had the right idea.

>>688924147
This is exactly the type of shit a white guy would day if he had no experience with black people.

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>>688933243
It still looks shit turned around.

>>688924590
At least you don't live in brampton

>>688933243
i'd still fuck her rough doggy style

>>688918061
I still have my NES. I play ninja turtles and the goonies with my buddy every now and then

>>688925696
Exit light

>>688934348
Enter night

>>688933088
Did you swallow or did you actually think your dick would grow by blowing him?

I used to believe that if you say "hell", satan would take me

I used to believe that the parks didn't open until the garbage truck came by to pick up the trash. No idea why I thought that.
>>688919851
but they are.

>>688934437
Swallow. He used to just jizz on my face because I hated having it in my mouth, but he eventually told me that lie to get me to swallow.

>>688927800
I think he's going to turn him into sherlock Holmes or Moriarty

>>688935116
Kek. Dumbass.

>>688914897
Muslims are people too.

>>688935361
`\/(°~°)\/`

Everyone had an inherent purpose that could be unearthed through the process of self-discovery and proper alignment with the circumstances of one's birth.
Gradually replaced it with a much more grisly, nihilistic view point where everyone and everything is knocking against each other haphazardly and somehow everything manages to barely function.

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>>688915004
>>688917427
>>688919475

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mz4Qb1OhkEQ

My mom tells this story anytime she wants to humiliate me

>be 5 or 6
>watched Ace Ventura pet detective
>the part where he bends over and talks out of his ass was favorite part
Seewherethisisgoing.gif
> at doctors office bored out of mind remember movie
>run up to older man present my underage ass to man open cheeks and start talking like video in link
https://youtu.be/6DrRE1LDY_U
>old man is visually shocked and kinda panics
>mom just laughs to herself as I apparently go through the whole skit and even come up with some original lines
>guy becomes panicked and just leaves I go and find a new victim

A nurse had to ask my mother to put a stop to it after a bit

when i was a kid, i never knew about santa or any of that, my dad told me like it was. never treated me like a kid either. my mom was always at work, so my dad would take me with to do concrete work, have me wash tools, bring him stuff, ect. my santa was aliens, ghosts, and bigfoot.

>>688937235
sad

>>688914897
I thought niggers had birthmarks everywhere

>>688937533
eh, wasnt too bad. other than never seeing my mom and having a horrible relationship with her now, since shes pretty much a stranger, it was probably better than most peoples childhoods

>>688937235

The point of Santa and all that other stuff is so that your kid will have a childhood that isn't cold and bland you want them to think of the world in a fantastical way to believe there is more to life than the grind of everyday monotony. You want them to look at the world with wonder and hope something you clearly provided yourself with believing in aliens and bigfoot.