>ctrl f 'greentext'
>no greentext thread
>greentext thread
bump while i look for my greentext folder
all time favorite of mine
>>688912285
lel
anyone got tthat greentext of the guy who put pool balls up his ass and shat them out
>>688914705
I don't but I want to see this now.
I can post a lot more, but I wanna know who's actually in here.
>>688914666
worth reading?
>>688915457
Yes. Good ol' fashioned tard stories. Can't go wrong.
>>688915457
Yes
>>688915457
yup
>>688915775
Always gets me every time
>>688912323
Meh over rated 2/10was there
>ANYONE HAVE SCAB BROS HOT SAUCE DICK?
somewhat
just go to the top of r/4chan
>>688916931
Kek level: 110%
>>688918003
oh i see that anon
and i raise you pic related
>>688917637
oh jesus i hope this is fake
>>688918373
>believing
not sure if bait
>>688918178
forgot to post the first one first
>>688915457
it worth every letter
>>688910987
That was pretty cool story op. Thank.
brother was crawling in the ground at this point
> he grabbed my arm and exclaimed you better leave you little shit
> I started screaming at the top of my lungs
Continue fags?
>>688914453
I CANT BREATHE!
>>688912285
holy fucking great
>>688919015
Dude this actually made me sad
Mods at sleep guys
>>688919015
He shouldve fucked his mom with pb as lubricant
>>688921255
You cunt. Waste of leman jucir
>>688921749
god tier
>>688922205
>>688917268
WTF?
>>688910987
Thats not a swaztika
>>688917268
the best
>>688917385
Mah sides
>>688924150
>>688921289 (OP) #
>to the tune of the safelite commercials
Toss me a salad captain O'Brain
O toss me a wave
A boatof stoat Mr. Captain
Captain o'brain
Lets do some real green text.
>Be me.
>Having affair.
>husband works IT at some government agency that doesn't even have a wikipedia page.
>Works a lot but earns shitloads, so much that I don't have to work.
>husband is going to have a really long shift, like 2 days, this is normal for him.
>Invite fuckbro over.
>chillin with Fuckbro
>Fuckbro needs to check email.
>No.
>ButItsImportant.gif
>I hand him an expensive looking laptop husband leaves turned on in the lounge, but never uses ever.
>Fuckbro opens laptop, the desktop looks weird.
>husband is always talking about linux and shit, it's probably that.
>Fuckbro opens chrome incognito tab.
>Signs into gmail.
>It's the one we use to arrange our meetups.
>Fuckbro finishes with email.
>Put laptop back.
>Hour or so later were having fun.
>Massive speakers in lounge start playing,
>I can see for miles.mp3
>WTF.webm
>Fuckbro finds it funny, I never told him my husband does IT.
>Ask Fuckbro to leave.
>Act cool when husband gets home.
>He almost looks ready to cry.
>'Hey Anon... anything interesting happen.'
>'No, nothing. How was work?'
>'Boring, just setting up a new machine nothing interesting'.
>Later I ask about the laptop.
>He keeps it there just so this if someone breaks in they will steal it and not something important.
>After that husband starts drinking spending less time at work.
>He never lets on that he knows.
>Start feeling like a bitch.
>Email Fuckbro and tell him to never speak to me again.
>Husband cheered up after that.
>TFW you're married to a melficent Big Brother.
>>688924580
That's.... Terrifying
Had it coming to you though ya cunt.
>>688917843
shit post is west wing rip
>>688924580
You're a slut.
>>688924580
timestamped tits or it didn't happen
Does anyone have the rest of this?
This thread
>>688924580
Honestly kill yourself. Freeloader and a cheater
Anybody still here or can I abandon thread?
>>688926135
here you go.
I am here
>>688917505
This is the worst thing ever, even for 4chan, this is the worst thing ever. What the actual fuck
>>688927620
Try this horror.
>>688928302
>folding multi-tool axe head
>mfw
not really greentext but if anyone is interested have this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oUDKyZqrn4o
>>688927436
thanks, anon
>>688927620
no.
>>688915457
fake n gay
>>688917843
jesus retconned almost all of that.
get your story straight mate,
Pretty good new one here.
>it was speaking words no meaning though
>>688924580
someone cap this?
>>688932017
already done
>>688916799
>take it with me
Please repost. Thanks
>>688932599
if you try repost it says dupe file you nigger
>>688922874
And you're not a retard.
Both are false statements
>>688932599
Get off the phone, you faggot.
>>688933069
I mean someone else
>>688934769
This pisses me off
>>688917185
Haven't seen that one in a couple years. Thank you.
>>688934769
I just post 'em. Don't gotta agree with 'em.
/r/ing the one about the derka derka on call of duty that ends with
>bad times ahead my friend
>maybe no computer
That one gets the feels going
>>688917843
You can't go off Old Testament. New testament changed a lot of stuff. Just saying.
>>688935835
Yeah and Jesus said keep the old word as you would the new.
>>688935835
>>688935938
The bible is an mess.
>>688927933
Don't ever post that evil again.
>>688919015
damn instant feels thread
>>688928063
he also rolled 42
>>688935938
He basically meant don't stop reading the old testament because it still has a lot of important stuff. Thats why The Bible has both parts in one.
>>688927620
Nice meme
>>688921749
good.
fucking.
god.
>>688931329
this one is my favorite
>>688931329
welcome to America
>>688940542
>>688940544
>>688940671
Glad to see you're enjoying my wares.
>>688918033
kys
>>688924580
When you're on your deathbed feeling guilty because you were fucking some boy while your husband was away working his ass off to keep you fed and housed, I hope your husband laughs.
Honestly like how can you even live with yourself? You'd be nothing but a homeless tramp without your husband.
That's assuming this greentext is real and not one you just made up to feel like you're part of the cool club.
A thread on /b/ that's lasted almost six hours. Even with the ~two hours of downtime, that's impressive.
>>688940970
This
>>688941166
We do what we can.
>>688910987
What was >>688888888?
>>688941470
HOLY SHIT
>>688941950
Gotcha bitch.
>>688914705
Underrated post
>>688942085
you made me cry fuck you
>>688941907
underwhelming
>>688912323
keked to the max
>>688917185
I think it says a lot about this place that the first 2 answers were to rape people.
>>688912285
It's glorious
>>688942085
Fucking dying
long tard story but worth reading
>>688927436
Is that all of it? I wanna read more.
Anybody got Fats McGee?
>>688924580
Fucking disgusting piece of shit
You're seriously the worst kind of creature
>>688944783
I think so, give me a minute to look for it
>>688945495
goddammit that's not what I wanted, here it is
>>688945687
YUSS
Thanks for this
>>688945980
np anon
fake as fuck but somehow still makes me chuckle
>>688912285
Sauce on the vid
>>688921255
Please tell me it dosen't end there.
>>688912285
giv video pls
thx
>>688947716
Far as I know.
>>688917425
Fucking reddit
>>688913245
could someone please explain this one i dont get it...
>>688924580
tits then kys
I have a tard story I've only shared once on this site- never saved it so I'll type it out since people seem to enjoy them. You'll understand why I don't often share it
>Be in high school, mopey teen faggot
>kid named Aaron is an absolute shit canoe
>sort of a bully, but not bigger or strong enough to beat the fuck out of me, more of a heckler or shit-talker
>didn't stop him one day from slapping me like a bitch
>don't even remember what he did
>heated altercation with Aaron on 2nd floor of school, I say something, get slapped in face
>more confused and disgusted he touched me than hurt
>he's laughing his high-pitched laugh and walks away to stairs down to 1st floor
>enter Bill
>Bill was an absolute psychopath, he had two huge fucking wranglers
>Bill felt no pain, and had the tard strength of every strong xmen character combined
>I've seen Bill's fist go through lockers not even kidding
>attacked damn near everybody
>one thing I noticed is people gave him commands like a dog
>BILL! /gesture SIT!
>he responded like a well-oiled war machine
>for some horrifying reason Bill was unmonitored that day
>taking a huge fucking risk engaging Bill
>only Bill, me and Aaron in hallway
>Aaron is about to go down the stairs
"BILL"
>his psychotic eyes locked with mine I had a split second to command him or I was fucking dead
>pointed at Aaron
"GET 'IM!"
>Bill saw his new target, let out a shriek that still turns my bowels to water when I think about it and charged Aaron
>what I saw was an actual nightmare
>Bill threw his body into Aaron, perhaps unaware of the staircase
>latched onto Aaron and helped him skip 14 steps
>there wasn't a lot of noise
>I didn't look at what happened
>rumor had it that Bill was taken to the hospital for severe head trauma and a broken leg
>Aaron's neck was broken and he was paralyzed
>Aaron couldn't speak, and the injury was so devastating he just shut the fuck down completely
>Never saw Bill again, still don't know how he escaped his wranglers
>>688948787
damn, anon
>>688939551
I need more bill murray stories
>>688947249
I lol'd
>>688924580
kill yourself
if my girlfriend would do that I would slap her to death
>>688949384
I don't think I have any more, sadly.
>>688925552
kek
some people actually feel like this
BWAHAHAHAA
Glad iam chaddo
>>688948787
Needs to be screencaped
>>688944625
>taking not receiving
Last time I played D&D, I was stoned out of my mind and running towards the keep with my 18 inch wang in hand (so I wouldn't have trouble running)
>>688912285
this is fourchan classic right here kekity kek
>>688950206
I capped it. It will live on, my /b/rothers!
>>688917268
.....Holy shit man
>>688947467
for some reason this completely fucking killed me
>>688914666
OMG BEST SO FAR *CLAP* *CLAP* *CLAP
>>688912285
>finish
forty keks
>>688913491
Similar story here
>be me
>have 9 year old brother
>buy him a laptop for christmas because he's actually trying really hard in school and getting good grades, and i had started working so I could afford it
>download steam on his computer and give him a 20 dollar gift card
>few days later, hear him yelling
>walk into his room, he is playing dota
>pretty normal, free to play
>ask him what games he got
>"just this one"
>"what did you do with the steam gift card I gave you?"
>"I bought these cool outfits for my favorite character"
>favorite character is pudge
>literally spent 20 dollars on skins
>fast forward a bit, all he plays is pudge
>fast forward to halloween
>parents taking him shopping for a costume
>he didn't buy anything
>"I thought you guys were going shopping for a costume"
>"all he says is that he wants to be pudge"
>they bought him one of those plastic butcher hooks, a butcher knife, an apron, and green hair spray
>he dresses up like pudge and starts talking like him
>I take him trick or treating
>bro runs ahead and jumps behind some bushes
>this fucker is fast and I'm not motivated to catch up to him
>he's just sitting there, not doing anything
>notice some people walking up
>he is getting ready
>ohshit
>too late to stop him
>he yells "GET OVA HERE" and throws the plastic hook
>latches this kid by the neck and yanks him off his feet towards the bushes
>kid falls over, starts screaming and crying
>bro jumps out
>"LOOK WHO'S COMIN FER DINNA"
>run over and grab bro
>don't even say anything just run off with him
>soccer mom is yelling and swearing
>don't tell parents
>never speak of it
>mfw he still plays dota
>>688914666
Anybody have more tard stories?
>>688951660
can someone screen cap?
>no one has posted this one yet
>>688952012
Doesn't matter, we hit limit.
It's been fun, friends.
>>688912683
is that a fucking vibrator lmao
well done we did it fuckers
>>688944364
everyones already seen neal a million times you fucking newfag
>>688952898
then scroll past it you whiner
>>688951073
was this on /v/?
I want a link to the alpha.
>>688951073
>This actual talent
>Wasting it on lolis
smhfam
bmup
>>688953713
This was on sci
>>688954953
That explains the TeX fonts.
>>688916126
the axis should have won
>>688910987
public schools in charge of not teaching ideologies
>>688913080
You owe me my sides.
>>688947389
what the fuck would make you think any of us knew?
what are we supposed to search for "that 1 creampie vid where the chick ended up getting pregnant", thats fucking retarded.
kys
>>688924580
holy shit u r human shaped garbage
u should leave u after he fucks up ur life
>>688912204
That picture is the cringiest thing I've seen in a fucking long time. Just think of how much time he invested to make everything like that for the picture, his smug face says it all.
>>688914453
There are tears
>>688912285
Oh my god.
>>688912323
>Santa Crust
>>688929258
Yo what in the balls
>>688927436
is there more of this masterpiece?
>>688930558
I've never seen that one before, topkek
>>688910987
that's a shit story. a big big shit story,
OP i assume you're the one who made it and
feel the need to make other anons aware about
your personal shit story
>>688932388
Well that was fast
>>688910987
boring garbage story
>>688919015
Wait a sec, let me get this straight. He went to his room, waited for 5 hours, then a month, then 3 months, then years, then had his own family.
HOW THE FUCK DOES ONE DO THAT WITHOUT LEAVING THE ROOM???!!!!
I've been going through this thread on and off for like four hours, it's not often I finish a green text thread before 404. Fucking great.
>>688912879
Alright
I´m not gonna be doing Anal anytime soon
>>688924580
>huge salary
>spends two days "setting up a machine".
>works for an agency no ones herd of.
>practical and effective approach to computer security.
>wizard class computer skills
is that cunt running the NSA or some shit
>>688943847
WHAT THE FUCK
WAS THIS GUY EVER CAUGHT
>>688961943
Try harder.
>>688917041
Lel wat
>>688917505
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>688921749
I thought I felt embarassed when my parents found my french class workbook and saw how shit I was at writing french when it had been my mother tongue
I can't even conceive of what this dude must have been feeling
like fucking honestly
8 hour thread lol
>>688916931
I can vouch for this one.
>>688964525
Let's make it nine.
>>688966337
bump 4 immortal thread
>>688917268
Because they actually ate it.Fake and Gay.
>>688950786
lets go with sth better than just bill
how about mad dog bill?
>>688948485
breaking bad
>>688968063
checked
>>688916799
Fuck very rarely do I actually laugh out loud at this stupid shit but for some reason I fucking lost to this
>>688952137
we rnt strong enough to my friend
https://youtu.be/k1UimrLqRKc
>>688912879
holy moly
https://youtu.be/aUl_o3lwCdA
because fuck contributing.
