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bump while i look for my greentext folder

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all time favorite of mine

>>688912285
lel

anyone got tthat greentext of the guy who put pool balls up his ass and shat them out

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>>688914705
I don't but I want to see this now.

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I can post a lot more, but I wanna know who's actually in here.

>>688914666
worth reading?

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>>688915457
Yes. Good ol' fashioned tard stories. Can't go wrong.

>>688915457
Yes

>>688915457
yup

>>688915775
Always gets me every time

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>>688912323
Meh over rated 2/10was there
>ANYONE HAVE SCAB BROS HOT SAUCE DICK?

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somewhat

just go to the top of r/4chan

>>688916931
Kek level: 110%

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>>688918003
oh i see that anon
and i raise you pic related

>>688917637
oh jesus i hope this is fake

>>688918373
>believing
not sure if bait

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>>688918178
forgot to post the first one first

>>688915457
it worth every letter

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>>688910987
That was pretty cool story op. Thank.

brother was crawling in the ground at this point
> he grabbed my arm and exclaimed you better leave you little shit
> I started screaming at the top of my lungs

Continue fags?

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>>688918656

>>688914453
I CANT BREATHE!

>>688918863
no

>>688918863
no

>>688912285
holy fucking great

>>688919015
Dude this actually made me sad

Mods at sleep guys

>>688919015
He shouldve fucked his mom with pb as lubricant

>>688921255
You cunt. Waste of leman jucir

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>>688921749
god tier

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>>688922205

>>688917268
WTF?

>>688910987
Thats not a swaztika

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>>688917268
the best

>>688917385
Mah sides

>>688924150
>>688921289 (OP) #
>to the tune of the safelite commercials
Toss me a salad captain O'Brain
O toss me a wave
A boatof stoat Mr. Captain
Captain o'brain

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Lets do some real green text.

>Be me.
>Having affair.
>husband works IT at some government agency that doesn't even have a wikipedia page.
>Works a lot but earns shitloads, so much that I don't have to work.
>husband is going to have a really long shift, like 2 days, this is normal for him.
>Invite fuckbro over.
>chillin with Fuckbro
>Fuckbro needs to check email.
>No.
>ButItsImportant.gif
>I hand him an expensive looking laptop husband leaves turned on in the lounge, but never uses ever.
>Fuckbro opens laptop, the desktop looks weird.
>husband is always talking about linux and shit, it's probably that.
>Fuckbro opens chrome incognito tab.
>Signs into gmail.
>It's the one we use to arrange our meetups.
>Fuckbro finishes with email.
>Put laptop back.
>Hour or so later were having fun.
>Massive speakers in lounge start playing,
>I can see for miles.mp3
>WTF.webm
>Fuckbro finds it funny, I never told him my husband does IT.
>Ask Fuckbro to leave.
>Act cool when husband gets home.
>He almost looks ready to cry.
>'Hey Anon... anything interesting happen.'
>'No, nothing. How was work?'
>'Boring, just setting up a new machine nothing interesting'.
>Later I ask about the laptop.
>He keeps it there just so this if someone breaks in they will steal it and not something important.
>After that husband starts drinking spending less time at work.
>He never lets on that he knows.
>Start feeling like a bitch.
>Email Fuckbro and tell him to never speak to me again.
>Husband cheered up after that.
>TFW you're married to a melficent Big Brother.

>>688924580
That's.... Terrifying
Had it coming to you though ya cunt.

>>688917843
shit post is west wing rip

>>688924580
You're a slut.

>>688924580
timestamped tits or it didn't happen

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Does anyone have the rest of this?

This thread

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>>688926135
Nope.

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>>688924580
Honestly kill yourself. Freeloader and a cheater

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Anybody still here or can I abandon thread?

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>>688926135
here you go.

I am here

>>688917505
This is the worst thing ever, even for 4chan, this is the worst thing ever. What the actual fuck

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>>688927620
Try this horror.

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>>688927620

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>>688927620
1

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>>688927620
g

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>>688928302
>folding multi-tool axe head
>mfw

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not really greentext but if anyone is interested have this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oUDKyZqrn4o

>>688927436

thanks, anon

>>688927620
no.

>>688915457
fake n gay

>>688917843
jesus retconned almost all of that.

get your story straight mate,

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Pretty good new one here.

>it was speaking words no meaning though

>>688924580
someone cap this?

>>688932017
already done

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>>688916799
>take it with me

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>>688932017

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Please repost. Thanks

>>688932599
if you try repost it says dupe file you nigger

>>688922874
And you're not a retard.
Both are false statements

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>>688932599
Get off the phone, you faggot.

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>>688933222
>222

>>688933069
I mean someone else

>>688934769
This pisses me off

>>688917185
Haven't seen that one in a couple years. Thank you.

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>>688934769
I just post 'em. Don't gotta agree with 'em.

/r/ing the one about the derka derka on call of duty that ends with

>bad times ahead my friend

>maybe no computer

That one gets the feels going

>>688917843
You can't go off Old Testament. New testament changed a lot of stuff. Just saying.

>>688935835
Yeah and Jesus said keep the old word as you would the new.

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>>688935835
>>688935938
The bible is an mess.

>>688927933
Don't ever post that evil again.

>>688919015
damn instant feels thread

>>688928063
he also rolled 42

>>688935938
He basically meant don't stop reading the old testament because it still has a lot of important stuff. Thats why The Bible has both parts in one.

>>688927620
Nice meme

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>>688935642

>>688921749
good.
fucking.
god.

>>688931329

this one is my favorite

>>688931329
welcome to America

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>>688940542
>>688940544
>>688940671
Glad to see you're enjoying my wares.

>>688918033
kys

>>688924580
When you're on your deathbed feeling guilty because you were fucking some boy while your husband was away working his ass off to keep you fed and housed, I hope your husband laughs.

Honestly like how can you even live with yourself? You'd be nothing but a homeless tramp without your husband.

That's assuming this greentext is real and not one you just made up to feel like you're part of the cool club.

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A thread on /b/ that's lasted almost six hours. Even with the ~two hours of downtime, that's impressive.

>>688940970
This

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>>688941166
We do what we can.

>>688910987
What was >>688888888?

>>688941470
HOLY SHIT

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>>688941950
Gotcha bitch.

>>688914705
Underrated post

>>688942085
you made me cry fuck you

>>688941907
underwhelming

>>688912323
keked to the max

>>688917185
I think it says a lot about this place that the first 2 answers were to rape people.

>>688912285
It's glorious

>>688942085
Fucking dying

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long tard story but worth reading

>>688927436

Is that all of it? I wanna read more.

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Anybody got Fats McGee?

>>688924580
Fucking disgusting piece of shit
You're seriously the worst kind of creature

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>>688944783
I think so, give me a minute to look for it

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>>688944783
boom

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>>688945495
Ha.

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>>688945495
goddammit that's not what I wanted, here it is

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>>688945687
YUSS
Thanks for this

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>>688945980
np anon

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fake as fuck but somehow still makes me chuckle

>>688912285
Sauce on the vid

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>>688921255
Please tell me it dosen't end there.

>>688912285
giv video pls
thx

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>>688947716
Far as I know.

>>688917425
Fucking reddit

>>688913245
could someone please explain this one i dont get it...

>>688924580
tits then kys

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I have a tard story I've only shared once on this site- never saved it so I'll type it out since people seem to enjoy them. You'll understand why I don't often share it
>Be in high school, mopey teen faggot
>kid named Aaron is an absolute shit canoe
>sort of a bully, but not bigger or strong enough to beat the fuck out of me, more of a heckler or shit-talker
>didn't stop him one day from slapping me like a bitch
>don't even remember what he did
>heated altercation with Aaron on 2nd floor of school, I say something, get slapped in face
>more confused and disgusted he touched me than hurt
>he's laughing his high-pitched laugh and walks away to stairs down to 1st floor
>enter Bill
>Bill was an absolute psychopath, he had two huge fucking wranglers
>Bill felt no pain, and had the tard strength of every strong xmen character combined
>I've seen Bill's fist go through lockers not even kidding
>attacked damn near everybody
>one thing I noticed is people gave him commands like a dog
>BILL! /gesture SIT!
>he responded like a well-oiled war machine
>for some horrifying reason Bill was unmonitored that day
>taking a huge fucking risk engaging Bill
>only Bill, me and Aaron in hallway
>Aaron is about to go down the stairs
"BILL"
>his psychotic eyes locked with mine I had a split second to command him or I was fucking dead
>pointed at Aaron
"GET 'IM!"
>Bill saw his new target, let out a shriek that still turns my bowels to water when I think about it and charged Aaron
>what I saw was an actual nightmare
>Bill threw his body into Aaron, perhaps unaware of the staircase
>latched onto Aaron and helped him skip 14 steps
>there wasn't a lot of noise
>I didn't look at what happened
>rumor had it that Bill was taken to the hospital for severe head trauma and a broken leg
>Aaron's neck was broken and he was paralyzed
>Aaron couldn't speak, and the injury was so devastating he just shut the fuck down completely
>Never saw Bill again, still don't know how he escaped his wranglers

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>>688948787
damn, anon

>>688939551
I need more bill murray stories

>>688947249
I lol'd

>>688924580
kill yourself

if my girlfriend would do that I would slap her to death

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>>688949384
I don't think I have any more, sadly.

>>688925552
kek
some people actually feel like this
BWAHAHAHAA

Glad iam chaddo

>>688948787
Needs to be screencaped

>>688944625
>taking not receiving

Last time I played D&D, I was stoned out of my mind and running towards the keep with my 18 inch wang in hand (so I wouldn't have trouble running)

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>>688912285
this is fourchan classic right here kekity kek

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>>688950206
I capped it. It will live on, my /b/rothers!

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>>688950345
kek

>>688917268
.....Holy shit man

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>>688947467
for some reason this completely fucking killed me

>>688914666
OMG BEST SO FAR *CLAP* *CLAP* *CLAP

>>688912285
>finish

forty keks

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>>688913491
Similar story here
>be me
>have 9 year old brother
>buy him a laptop for christmas because he's actually trying really hard in school and getting good grades, and i had started working so I could afford it
>download steam on his computer and give him a 20 dollar gift card
>few days later, hear him yelling
>walk into his room, he is playing dota
>pretty normal, free to play
>ask him what games he got
>"just this one"
>"what did you do with the steam gift card I gave you?"
>"I bought these cool outfits for my favorite character"
>favorite character is pudge
>literally spent 20 dollars on skins
>fast forward a bit, all he plays is pudge
>fast forward to halloween
>parents taking him shopping for a costume
>he didn't buy anything
>"I thought you guys were going shopping for a costume"
>"all he says is that he wants to be pudge"
>they bought him one of those plastic butcher hooks, a butcher knife, an apron, and green hair spray
>he dresses up like pudge and starts talking like him
>I take him trick or treating
>bro runs ahead and jumps behind some bushes
>this fucker is fast and I'm not motivated to catch up to him
>he's just sitting there, not doing anything
>notice some people walking up
>he is getting ready
>ohshit
>too late to stop him
>he yells "GET OVA HERE" and throws the plastic hook
>latches this kid by the neck and yanks him off his feet towards the bushes
>kid falls over, starts screaming and crying
>bro jumps out
>"LOOK WHO'S COMIN FER DINNA"
>run over and grab bro
>don't even say anything just run off with him
>soccer mom is yelling and swearing
>don't tell parents
>never speak of it
>mfw he still plays dota

>>688914666
Anybody have more tard stories?

>>688951660
can someone screen cap?

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>no one has posted this one yet

>>688952012
Doesn't matter, we hit limit.
It's been fun, friends.

>>688912683
is that a fucking vibrator lmao

well done we did it fuckers

>>688944364
everyones already seen neal a million times you fucking newfag

>>688952898
then scroll past it you whiner

>>688951073
was this on /v/?

I want a link to the alpha.

>>688951073
>This actual talent
>Wasting it on lolis
smhfam

bmup

>>688953713
This was on sci

>>688954953
That explains the TeX fonts.

>>688916126
the axis should have won

>>688910987
public schools in charge of not teaching ideologies

>>688913080
You owe me my sides.

>>688947389
what the fuck would make you think any of us knew?

what are we supposed to search for "that 1 creampie vid where the chick ended up getting pregnant", thats fucking retarded.

kys

>>688924580
holy shit u r human shaped garbage
u should leave u after he fucks up ur life

>>688912204
That picture is the cringiest thing I've seen in a fucking long time. Just think of how much time he invested to make everything like that for the picture, his smug face says it all.

>>688914453
There are tears

>>688912285
Oh my god.

>>688912323
>Santa Crust

>>688929258
Yo what in the balls

>>688927436
is there more of this masterpiece?

>>688930558
I've never seen that one before, topkek

>>688910987
that's a shit story. a big big shit story,

OP i assume you're the one who made it and
feel the need to make other anons aware about
your personal shit story