The first step.
Knowing that to get everything I want in life, it will take hard work and stress and that I'm cozier and safer without taking risks and just playing videogames all day.

I just dont give a shit. I wish I did. I want to want to do things.

>>688375616
This, 100% this

Meh a lot of thing, hard to even stand being in public around other people without thinking i'm surrounded by animals, can't get back into my art from my depression, maybe i'm lazy, maybe daddy should of hit me more.
Either way, if I'm posting on /b/ about it I'm pretty much begging for help, as are all of you looking at this thread, so come on, let's try and help each other.

>>688375963
>help each other
How?

very contagious face herpes

Oh boy where to start
No dad
Alcoholic mother
crippling depression and anxiety since 14-15 im 18 atm
lack of confidence

>>688376113
cp

>>688376349
working out helps your confidence, helped me anyways

Motivation. I get no plesure in work.

>>688375491
I think I'm genuinely out of fucks

>>688375491
I would not be here if I knew.

>>688376619
>>688376558
Also this, when I think about it.

>>688375491
Money

i can never bring myself to actually do anything new
it sucks

>>688376558
No one has motivation, usually by the time you turn 20 you realize that that's simply not how the world works.

Look at all of the most successful people today, it wasn't 'motivation' that fueled them. They had determination even when they completely fucking demotivated.

>>688376884
Determination to do what exactly ?

>>688377209
succeed

>>688377209
Make money, leave their mark, that sort of thing. Determination to matter, basically.

>>688376884
agree
motivation is bs , all that matters is commitment to the action not the goal.

>>688377351
>heatdeath of the universe

what a mark

>>688377351
Ok let's assume for a moment that I have both. What the fuck am I supposed to work for ?

We all cease to exist quickly, we will never get immortal and travel to the stars.

We are meat.

>>688376113
That's honestly a good question, I don't know, but I'd like to think all of us are broken in different ways, with overlapping similirarities, so maybe if we talk about our problem, and the collective responds about an area they excel at, and give constructive criticism to facilitate change, and then they make their post, and they get help from the rest of the collective, like some kind of emotional communism? I'll start, and see if anyone has any advice
>19
>never had a job
>mom was a cunt, dad is good man but dumb
>always been an artist, last 2 years I haven't been able to paint/draw, with a few exceptions that make me hate myself even more
>last 2 years, got into drugs heavy, started dealing heavy, had a crib where i could do anything anytime, probably burnt through 30k plus to fuel my habits just from dealing profits
>recently got busted, felony dropped but it made me really quit everything, other than the odd glass of wine with dinner, instead of smoking 50 dollars plus of THC a day in whatever form, plus the extra money for all the real shit
>I take care of my grandma, visit the other in nursing home every week, almost break down when I leave everytime
>Starting college in fall
>Have a small circle, but they're the kind of people that are known and 'popular' in all circles, so basically I only associate with thoroughbred warhorses
>half of them are sometimes there for my depression
>other half are only there when resources are abundant, but as I've been progressing spiritually I'm trying to be less of a predator and more of a Buddha, love they neighbor, do no harm, golden rule, all that, but I don't like being walked over
Honestly guys, just looking for some general wisdom on this crazy trip we're all going through called life. I don't want to derive my happiness from others, I used to be a leader not a pussy ass follower. Help me if you can, and I'll sure as fuck do my part and see what I can help you with.

>>688375616
>>688375731
>>688375963
>>688376558
>>688376619
this.

>>688377728
>What the fuck am I supposed to work for ?
this is your own damn question to answer you stupid, fake, finicky fuck

>>688377748
So what do you do with your days now, anon? Where are you going to college? Nearby home? Out of state?

>>688378648
Chill out man, not everyone finds their passion early in life. One of my heroes realized that his life's passion was to be a teacher at 40 years old.

>>688379340
Dump

my story so far

>childhood was good
>got guitar at age 15
>got really good real quick
>want to be rockstar
>get camera, start filming goof movies with friends (pretty good shit sometimes, avgn kinda quality)
>want to be filmmaker
>year later I'm smart enough to know it's never gonna happen
>still wanna be some kind of 'artist', it's the only thing that gives me real pleasure
>fast forward to age 21
>rent forces me to work shitty job
>depression

I'm 22 now. Sometimes feel like I shouldve done more partying, doing normal teenager stuff instead of learning how to Adobe After Effects and stuff like that. At least I would've experienced having a gf. Or maybe I shouldve spent my time learning for school, so I'd have a better job by now.

>>688375491
motivation

I havent wanted to live since I was like 8 years old. THere's no point in life man, it's just a sand box. i'm a very purpose driven person so the ultimatum of life seems like my only option. I've had my high school dream girl, a car, more money than I can spend.
it's all so boring. So I need to go inna sandbox and see what it's like to fear for your life. because frankly I havent felt a value for my life in a long time. it's not like I'm lathargic but why try to win when you dont even care to play the sport.

I've always been the only thing holding me back. My own inhibitions, laziness, depression, apathy, and fear have been what's holding me back. I used to be a good student, friend, son, and boyfriend. Now I'm just stuck and wasting my life.

>>688380530
>more money than I can spend

give me some pls
I have less money than I need

>>688380685
I agree with this guy

>>688380685
budget more homo

>>688378672
honestly, wake up, eithe read, try to discover new music, new movies, and just, learn. I try not give into self pleasure, but I'm only human. I'm pretty scholarly and worldy as I've been told, but solitude has it's obvious negative.
And I'm going to art school at this community college locally, for what I estimate to be a year to year and a half so I can fix my shitty highschool grades, then I'm going to transfer to Columbia to continue pursuing art.
Don't know if this help, but I've always been a "smartest person in the room" kind of guy, wouldn't call my self an autistic neckbeard, I'm njot bad looking, I'm not boring, I just feel burnt out and can not talk about dumb bullshit with stoner anymore, and I just want to find fullfilment for myself instead of seeking it out in other people.

>>688380193
I'd say keep looking for projects to work on. Write music, make movies, do all of that shit. Whether or not you make it big with any of it, you'll at least be producing something you're proud of. If you ever meet someone who could get you a good job doing something you'd love, you'd want something to show them.

>>688381161
Oh man yeah sounds kind of familiar. I'd say you already know what the problem is here. It sounds like you should spend more time with real people rather than just spending time online. There are more people in your town than just stoners I'm sure. Going to college is going to be really helpful socially, but until then, go out and talk to people. Spend some time sharing yourself. All of that knowledge and information is useless if you never get to share it.

>>688381511
pretty much what I keep telling myself

fomo is still strong tho

>>688380530
It's time to take some psychedelics.

The fact that after my death I won't have the consciousness to appreciate what I achieved and what I didn't scares me. So I don't even try. It doesn't matter anyway. Does anyone else feel that way?
The only thing that keeps me going on my journey to become a doctor is the small assumption that there exists an after world where I live forever and am given priority according to my actions

>>688381511
That's all I ever wanted, was just to be somewhat proud of my own art, to express myself, suck cocks etc. Thank you for this, writing it down on list.

>>688382536
suck my cocks pls

>>688382231
Seriously. Being online all the time feels so comfortable and easy. A constant flow of information is like an intravenous drip of dull pleasure. It's addictive and depressing.

Do you hang out with people much? Social life?

>>688382056
I agree, I feel like I do already know it, but should I cut off the people I care about? I know all good things come to an end but even if we had good times, they're not good for me anymore, are they? I don't want to spend summer sulking, I want to be productive.

>>688382303
I tried shrooms once I really liked it wand when I woke up I felt safe but then I saw my girlfriend and it all went away.
WEre done now but I thnk I need a proper woman. Not some 19 year old whore who doesnt know anything about herself. (sucks cuz im 18) Why are all women so reclusive? So many be talking that shit about "I'm an open book" No your not you just have nothing to share so it's wasy to share. Are woman actually jst stupid? I mean my Mom is really chill but she's had 45 years to chill. Does every woman need this time? I doont see why everyone is so hyped about sex it's not that great.

>>688382410
why would an afterworld make things you've done earlier more important?

I mean it's just adding time, right? In reality it seems like things only matter for a short amount of time anyway. Nobody cares about what you did 30 years ago.

>>688375491
Y'all are faggots. Grow up, be a man.

>>688382410
Used to feel like that. Friendship and occasional psychedelics helped..

>>688383092
wow such importance

>>688382795
I force myself to do stuff with ppl and I secretely hope they take me to some places and 'teach' me how to do normie stuff.

also, yeah, that's quite a good description of the internet

>>688375491
i really want to read this book

also i dont care about my life and how i waste it. My soul is immortal and there will be another life and after that too. Enjoy it with the thought of not caring if you waste it? besides that our era is shit, nothing to explore, neither earth or space. Id rather go exploring new lands or new stars than life on this boring planet my entire life.

>>688382800
Thats tough. Spending less time with people doesn't mean you don't care about them. Since I got to college I haven't seen my old friends as much, but it's made me realize who was really there for me and who was just there. Yknow? Don't let anything stop you from being productive and don't think that you're only allowed to be friends with people you already know.

>>688383550
>my soul is immortal
>there will be another life
>our era is shit
>this boring planet

I disagree on almost everything you say

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16 KB, 320x180

>>688375491
thisfuckingplace

>>688383818
me too but I think the thought of travel is mundane because you dont gain anything. it's known ya feel?
Like youll never go into a strange land with strange people you know nothing about and get paid to do it

I need 50k to make my pilot licence.. And Im a poorfag.