Do robots masturbate?

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>>688177466
absolutely

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>>688176787
Bump

>>688176787
How to stop being sissy bitch when someone insults me or trying to bully me ?

Like , how do I develop the tough guy mentality , what habits , rules , etc...

i literally start tearing when i get in a fight with someone , verbally or physically , im too soft you know? how to fix it?

>inb4 faggot

>>688178862
Be a man

>>688178862
Hang out with some tough mother fuckers. Drink and fight your tough mother fucker friends. Helps ease you in to the mindset.

>>688178862
Learn the art of not giving a fuck.
Start with smaller things and just make it spin upwards. You'll realize quick that people don't push if they can't get a reaction.

And as for when you actually respond, you'll not care enough to become even the slightest flustered or upset etc.

Works pretty well but takes a good amount of practice to get comfortable with.

>>688179184
This is also good advice. You form yourself after those you hang out with. You'll become hardened even if you don't want to.

should I go to college or learn a trade skill? i want to be able to independently support myself.

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>>688178862
I'm the same way anon. It's all about self confidence. If you have a positive outlook on yourself nothing anyone says will ever bother you because you KNOW it's not true. Confidence in yourself doesn't come overnight. Its a life long process. Just keep telling yourself that you are bigger than those who insult you. You have people you think youre a swell guy so whatever these things these shitty people are saying are not true.

>>688176787
What is your view on non-abusing(only views sears catalog level pictures from the internet and videos from mtv),non-exclusive pedophiles.

lol, r u dutch?

>>688180354
By far the most postive speech i seen here
Well done

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>>688180159
Do you have anything specific in mind? If you want a higher income after a longer amount of time and work I recommend going to college for STEM. If you dont have that type of goal in mind go to a trade school and get a job faster but with probably less pay. I personally go to college (criminal justice) because that's my passionate i can make good money from it. All depends on what you want. Both paths are good in their own ways.
>>688180430
My thesis is on sex offenders and I want to study pedophiles. There is something called escalation. If you (collective you not pointing fingers here) are looking at that stuff alone its ok. But if you start craving something more after the sears catalog doesn't satiate your curiosity enough then it is a problem.
>>688180492
What lol
>>688180646
thank you friend. I just want everyone to feel good about themselves. Always work on yourself first, that's my answer to anything

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Self bump

>>688181859
xj9 is so hot

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>>688182225
I know right

>>688179048
>>688179184
>>688179455
>>688180354

ty for advice

>>688183361
more pls

>>688178862

Get a gun and shoot him. Shoot the whole school while you're at it as well.

>>688183361
OP here I do appreciate Jenny bumps

>>688183731
thats edgy

How do I get my wife to be more sexually adventurous? She was up for almost anything before but once we had a kid she's never up for anything apart from vanilla sex

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>>688184386
This is gonna sound like shitty advice but have you tried asking her about it? Also how long has it been since you had the kid? If it was fairly recently (like less than 5 years) it could be that shes stressed and focused on the child. Also there is hormone imbalance during and after the birth of a child in a woman so theirs that. How about trying to surprise her with something different. Take her off guard (like in a nice way kinda thing). Do something completely romantic and unlike you that may turn her on. It's normal for sex to die down a bit after the first kid so dont worry.

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>no usb port

I build a robot.
and he's cool and all, but he don't really cooperate on helping me to build more.
What can i do ?

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>>688185944
Press down on spring loaded crotch to reveal usb port. Hidden to protect the insides from dust and debre. Leaving you with a pristine puss
>>688186206
Im sorry what

>>688185560
Totally tried taking to her about it. It pretty much comes down to the fact that she doesn't think it's something appropriate for a mother to do. I'm aware that sex drops off for a bit after the kids born (it's been 3 years) and I can get her easily on the mood for sex but she just never wants to try anything different

>>688186442
My robot is connected on the internet.
Since i pluged him into it he don't really work with me anymore.
I hoped he get smarter with it, but it seems he just watches vids all day and shit.
He works on swarm intelligence his 'brain' just chooses the usefull informations from the internet.
But i wont work i need help!

How do i get the girl that just left me back?

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>>688186533
Its her first kid so its understandable. I can see myself acting the same way after a kid. Just feels kind of wrong to suck cock when my child is two doors down. I think she will warm up to it after a while. She needs to have sexy lady talk with her mama friends. Someone needs to tell her that its okay and she doesn't have to dial it back just cuz of the kid. Thats not something you can fix. Its a her thing.
>>688186945
I think that's called the teenage rebellious stage. Like when your kid doesnt want to talk to you or hang out with you anymore because they think memes are cool. Can't help you their. That's gotta work itself out.
>>688186980
Gonna need some more info. When did she leave? Why did she leave? Was it a bad or ok break up? Why do you want her back?

>>688176787
I met a girl on my vacation and we really got along. She is funny and we have a lot in common, but she is a 6/10 at best and lives pretty far away from me. Please dont tell me that looks doesnt matter, cause thats bullshit. Oh, and she is really into me
What to do?

>>688187348
Just left me 1 hr ago. Cause shes not sure about our future, im leaving for 1 month to travel europe in 3 weeks. Ok i guess (devastating for me). Because i fucking love her, weve only been 5 moths together but i already love her more than most people i have known since childhood

do big sneks have big dicks

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>>688187991
I think 6/10 seems pretty good. But... why go for someone if you're not sexually attracted to them. I admit that there has to be a balance between sexual and intellectual attraction. My ex was ugly as balls, I liked them for their personality. Then they became abusive and I was like "nigga wasnt even hot." If youre not sexually attracted dont do it. You can totally find a 8/10 girl who has the same interests as you.

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>>688188418
Im sorry but youre going to have to hear me out when I say just fucking dont. Give her a week she may change her mind. She really might. It's only been an hour. Dont think about it. Go get a drink, hang out with friends. Just dont be alone.
>>688189029
I dont think so. Sorry friend. But a big snek looks like a big dick

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Ex /r/FA and /r9k/ here. I need to build social skills. At 25 my conversations are embarrassing. Sometimes I talk too little and lose others interest. And to fight that introvert shit I try to talk a lot in detail. I still fuck up even when I talk a lot and still got mocked by the way I talk.


A woman yesterday gave me a sarcastic comment about the way I talked like a pastor, really messed with me because I knew she was going to talk about me when I left.

I am trying hard to build social skills, but failing hard. What should I do?

>>688189392
Too late for getting a drink where i live, and i've already been crying mu eyeballs off since i came back home.

Brainwash yourselves with malarky from The Red Pill

Are you a psycho killer fafafafafa?

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>>688189721
I recommend my advice here >>688180354
It's all about personal growth
>>688189729
Its going to be okay. I promise.
>>688190607
no

>>688189039
Ive never met a girl like her before. Her personality is almost perfect for my taste, but her looks and the distance makes it really difficult.

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I don't need any advice just wanted to say hi

>>688191413
Stupid sexy smug animes

>>688178862
Why the fuck are you on /b/ if you can't handle
being called a nigger loving faggot kike?

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>>688191387
Never do long distance. It doesn't work. Didn't work for me, rarely works for anyone else.
>>688191413
Hi bb <3

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>>688193226
>>688193654
>>688193654
>>688193859
>>688193980
>>688194132
>>688194218
>>688194351
>>688194514
thank you lovely

what's your fav robo-copulation position?

Neet normie fag here, how the fuck do I deal with racisim towards my gf? Whenever I'm around people will make comments but not really act and when I'm not around people basically bully her. We're 23 and 24 how is this highschool level bullshit still happening?

Do I have to fuck a nigger up or is there a better way.

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>>688195730
reverse cowbot
>>688196297
What do you mean by racism? Are people blatantly attacking her and bullying her because you are an interracial couple?

Hey op.
I have a really deep voice, do girls find that attractive? I sometimes mix my words up and fuck up sentences. Tips on how to talk better?

Guys, it`s a robot, it`s not sexy
Fuck you all

>>688197249
There's a difference between retarded deep and sexy deep. Is it more gravelly or just flat?

My bf has a deep gravelly voice and I really like it but if he drinks milk he just sounds like a neanderthal lel

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>>688197249
yes that is extremely attractive. just make sure to talk slower. Think about what you're going to say before you say it. Always try and talk just a little slower. and this >>688197542
>>688197288
bb no robuts are sexy

>>688197542
It's more flat than gravelly. I sometimes get gravelly, like if im serious or kinda quiet.

WHY did ever delete my XJ-9 folder? Whelp, rebuilding it now

I have seen the fattest girl in school. She is SUPER hawt. (Hair dyed either red or black, almost 7 ft tall and as wide as I can stretch my arms out.)
> Btw dont hate on my likes, just picture if you had the perfect girl.

We have NOTHING in common, I want to get to know her a bit better.
Anything that are general things most people might like, and any ways to find more stuff she might like?

> Old enough to drink but still in HS. >.>

>>688198022
Take up chainsmoking maybe. Or just drink a lot of coke or something, flat deep voices usually just sound weird tbqhwy

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>>688198121
Im here for you boo
>>688198178
not judging here. Good for you that you found a potential lady. I recommend starting with possibly classes, academic stuff. Then like tv shows and stuff.
>>688198022
I personally think thats hot

Freaking out about graduating at art school soon. keep asking myself why I decided to to go for such a dead-end degree in the first place. (my social / economic / political views have changed dramatically, especially against the modern art culture ) Will be in serious debt if I don't finish, so i'm trying to stay positive and finish but the graduation exam is so subjective and elitist the pressure is killing me.

>wat do?

>>688199324
Draw furry porn. You have no idea how much people are willing to pay for commissions.

>>688199324
You could go into graphic design or marketing. In this cucky sjw artists are probably in demand. Also you can get a job not involved with art but you have that college degree elitism. That will absolutely come in hand

>>688198617
If only Jenny were here for me life would be complete. But srly, appreciate all the pics you & others have dumped.

>>688180646
Being this new

>>688200574
You could just kill yourself and hope some cosmic being hears your wish.

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>>688200574

>>688200272
>>688199834
You two make a good point. I have more practical skills than all of my professors combined. They mostly consist of failed artists or commercial dinosaurs. This is in part what has bothered me so much about my work being subject to people controlling my graduation who can't actually make what I can make.

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>>688201661
hey you can totally become an art professor/ teacher!

>>688201603
<3

>>688201820
I've been thinking about it. There is only one professor in particular whom I really respect because he teaches part-time next to his regulair job and is actually talented at what he does. Unfortunately he's not part of the graduation committee.

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>>688202324
you should still talk to him about it. It's always good to have connections

>>688191707
You know damn well being insulted anonymously is nothing like in person.

>>688202688
Thank so much for this. As self-evident as your advice may seem, it really helps me getting some much needed perspective during this stressful time.

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>>688203464
of course, anytime friend. I wish you the best of luck in life!

>>688176787
>A copy of Alice's Advice Thread

>>688204602
do you want advice or not love? there aint no monopoly on advice

>>688204703
I really don't care either way sense I can gain my own knowledge by myself. Also never said there was a monopoly on advice. Was saying that Alice is the one known for doing these kinds of threads the most.

>>688204602
>Alice finally trying to ditch the Alice persona

>>688205150
aight. no worries its cool. I know Alice does it. I didnt see any threads on it and i had time to spare to share some advice

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>>688205519

>>688205501
i dont know who alice is honestly i know that the same person kinda does these types of threads tho

>>688205519
woaa

>>688205657
You can be whatever you want to, man

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>>688205647

>>688205560
Don't blame you then XJ9, keep up your good work anyways. I'll just guard your threads or watch-over them from time to time.

>>688205898
mind telling me who alice is? Im curious now
>>688206004
oh ok thank you

So I have sex on a regular basis but I still enjoy fapping. I'm looking to up my fapping game to the next level as i really can't bust a nut without a pussy. Any suggestions?

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>>688206134
I recommend toys like oni holes or whatever they're called.

>>688178862
If somebody calls me an idiot,, i inquire. If they don't have any logical reason to call me an idiot, then there's no real reason to be bad, is there? If they DO have a logical reason to cal me an idiot, then i can't complain, can i?
Why would you be affected by verbal confrontation? You should really just not care. I used to start tearing up whenever i got into an argument but with time, and the right mentality it goes away.
Also do Brazilian Jiu Jitsu.

>>688206099
Alice makes threads where all the 'advice' consists of "seek prufesunal help" and "taek durgs". Also various other faggotries but I don't know the extent of those.

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>>688205931

>>688206423
To be fair, those 2 things are all you need to be a psychologist.

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>>688206438

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>>688206875

>>688206415
Why you gotta take the fun out of calling you a faggot?

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>>688206423
oh ok. I try not to recommend that. I went though the whole cycle of drugs, therapy, more drugs, more therapy, feel worse type of deal. It didnt work for me. It actually made me feel a lot worse. Im not saying those things dont help some people but for most its all about forcing yourself out of a rut through pure will and the help of others. At least that's what i think

>>688206438
>>688206875
>>688207002
these are all super cool thank you

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>>688207002
>I'm not a robot
The truth hurts.

>>688178862
You aren't a man. Men feel fear, men are brave. It's time you learned what it means to be a man.

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>>688207147
Welcome.

>>688207222
Trips of sad truth.

>>688176787
Youre literally a faggot and should kill yourself immediately

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>>688207551

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>>688207886

1. XJ9, how do I motivate myself? I know what to do and I have the ability to achieve it, but I have a hard time getting started.
2. I fucked up in college and got low grades, is there anyway for me to recover and get a high paying job? It sucks because people I knew in the past who were never as capable as I am are getting ahead because they worked hard and I'm stuck in a rut. How do I become the man I know I can be? How do I fix my mistakes?

>>688207222
Checked
>>688207029
If you can avoid being a medical industry shill I may just troll your threads a bit less.

So are you still deciding on a persona? You didn't use one last night and if I'm not mistaken you posted as Ran a few days ago.

>>688176787
>>688178862
Sameanon

>>688208321
XJ9 anon does not need a persona unlike Alice. Better to be yourself then some image board personality.

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>>688208321
last night i didnt use a persona. and i didnt post anything a few days ago. I just started last night. I think im gonna stick with XJ9. Mostly because I have a lot of pictures of her saved for art refs. What to you think? Ill prbably just join in other advice threads from time to time as jenny. and liking this >>688209000

>>688208172
These are tough questions I will be honest with you. I empathize with you greatly. What I do to stay motivated is make lists. Hundreds of lists. Stuff i have to do that day or years from now. And i look at those lists and I take pride in what i have crossed off, what i have accomplished on my own. It's like tracking my life, showing me that I have really done something. I want you to know that you are not the only person that fucked up in college. but you have your degree, you compeleted a difficult part in your life. You can make your way out of your hole by just climbing, slowly to the top.
>>688208833
sorry no

>>688178862
Experience. Fight for your fucking self and if you cry afterwards, meh. It's the adrenalin rush that makes it happen. It stops eventually once you get used to holding your own in a fight

I (24 M) had a benefits relationship with my best friend (23 F), now since xmas Ive been having strong feelings for her even though we havent done much in the past 3 months. I've kept it bottled up but She went on a data with a guy after she moved back home. Right now I'm after texting my best mate's ex (had feelings for her before) and asked her out. How messed up is that. Any advice?

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>>688209577
I think youre just really confused and trying to sort of bandage a wound in a way. try the date with this girl. if your FWB is with someone else, respect her decision but you can hold out waiting for her if you wish. If you best mate okay with this? does he know? How would he react? If it doesnt look good then i recommend calling the date off and looking elsewhere. somewhere outside of your social group for love.

>>688178862
Know this;
>LIFE IS BUT A DREAM

>>688210003

He doesn't know. Due to my job I dont get much time to socialize with new people. Sucks so much

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>>688206099
*If she decides to follow her schedule one of her threads should appear in something like 2 hours, i suggest you to come and make your own impression, just do not expect much from her threads or you might easily get disappointed.*

>>688211078
>her
lol

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>>688211175
*There are still not enough proofs to prove that she is not a female, nor enough to prove that she is a female.*

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>>688210655
Looks good so far. Sorry im not an expert on beards but id recommend rubbing some essential oils in in. natural stuff
>>688210680
im sorry friend. try with his old girl and see how it works out. maybe talk to him about it.
>>688211078
ok ill pop in possibly! thank you so much for the heads up!
>>688211593
lol i assume if you state your name is alice on 4chan youre just some fat shmuck with a small dick

>>688212047
Tnx

>>688211593
That's faggot talk

I would love to see a thread like this soon again, but timezones won't let me. I am involved in a storm of melatonin in my brain, which is rapidly lowering my will to remain in my current state of conciousness, aware.
But again. It would require a boot in mental activities to get me to ignore that drowsy feeling, but caffeine isn't an option for me now. Not really having easy access to water on this place, so. It'd be a waste of important body resources to dose myself with caffeine.

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>>688212047
*In fact that is probably the case, but you never know.*

>>688176787
Anon, how can I get out of here? I'm not talking about this thread or this site, but I mean to leave it all and other people for good?

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>>688209238
Stick with her, she's gorgeous

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>>688212475

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>>688212852

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>>688206099
https://encyclopediadramatica.se/Alice_Margatroid
Little outdated, dunno exactly what's written there.

I do not know when exactly this started as I only started using 4chan in 2012 but it must have been around 2007 or so.
Alice was a guy who roleplayed and avatarfagged as alice margatroid from touhou.
He would stutter and be all about roleplaying giving anons hugs and kisses.
He started giving advice to anons and gained a small cult following.

He stopped, some other anon replaced him (alice2) to do the same thing (roleplay, stutter, advice).
He stopped too, the alice3 came in.

I think one of the alices is still active in some chatroom but in recent years I've only rarely seen alice posts.

No idea who the person lately making threads as alice is but it doesn't really matter.

Been in a relationship for 4 years is it too soon to get married?

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>>688213001
Vega because why not

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>>688213446

>>688212386
Oh I thought those were quote marks at first. Hi asterix.

The reality doesn't matter because I find the person despicable. If it were insulting to do so I'd call them female. The internet has no need for genders in the first place. It's just a faggot's way of getting other faggots to come to their defense.

Also, bringing up Alice is the most effective way to derail one of these threads. Nothing but drama.

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>>688213594

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>>688213755

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>>688213022
*The last one was made by a user claiming to be Alice3 and that Alice2 left, now the point is that said person was probably just trolling, the previous Alice was way too prideful to accept her errors, which that user did, also said person was not using avatars. In my opinion someone noticed that Alice was absent and had the idea to play a joke on "her" by trying to impersonate an hypothetical heir.*

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>>688213947

>>688213989
Still can't rule out the possibility of OP being Alice, trying to start fresh.

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>>688214153

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>>688214429

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>>688213648
*It is exactly what happened, so i guess i should leave now. Just one last thing, remind yourself that "she" indeed managed to have a small circle of helpers always ready to pick her defense, even when she is clearly wrong, so it truly is a stupid way to get allies but it totally works.*

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>>688214523

>>688213989
The most recent thread was made by someone who was just messing around, no avatar as you say.
http://archived.moe/b/thread/687964502/

But before that, someone had regularly been making alice threads, who's that?
http://archived.moe/b/thread/687446887/

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>>688212184
ill make another soon just for you friend.
>>688212446
I recommend moving. Like psychically moving
away.
>>688213423
How old are both of you?
>>688214290
>>688213022
>>688214550
this is all really interesting. Sorry to say that im not alice. I guess you'll see when that person makes another thread or whatever. I just always felt really uncomfortable in those advice threads so i just wanted to make one of my own. im noone important just a bored person who wants to help others kinda

>>688214941
to add to this sorry im slow im making dinner

>>688214941
She's 20 I'm 22 we have steady jobs and such just don't know if it's the right time

>>688214941
How can I >>688212446 do that? Would it be worth it?

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>>688214941
*No, i am the one that should apologize to you, i came here and messed up your thread and i am sorry for that, i'll just give those users a quick reply then i'll leave to avoid bothering.*

>>688214921
*All the threads previous to the one that we saw the last day are supposedly created by Alice2 herself.*

>>688214290
*You are right, either thatvperson was her, even if she had no motivations to degrade herself in such way or someone that knew better how she writes her replies and that has followed for a long time her threads.*

>>688214941
>psychically moving

PK FIRE!

>>688215848
Bump

Please answer, OP.

>>688214941
You know, last night I tried fucking up the thread but some people I felt deserved some serious replies and I put some effort into it. I still didn't do it with good person intentions, but I can see how these threads can be enjoyable. You seemed to have disappeared halfway through the thread, though.

>>688217003
>>688215014
I tink OP is ze cookings

>>688216408
>>688217003
Bump

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>>688215244
4 years is pretty long. If you feel she's the one i think you should go for it.
>>688215848
Its worth it. wherever you live move a few towns over. or some place new. save up some money
>>688216049
its ok friend!
>>688216408
haha sorry
>>688217626
i appreciate your honesty. sorry i was making dinner

>>688218028
You heard OP! You gotta move psychically.

WITH YOUR MIND

>>688215848
Also, that can't work alone for long. An actual departure from certain people and surrounding circumstances along with a change in mindset has to happen for it to work, too, right, OP?

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>>688218474
absolutely! but that takes time. i think its a step forward removing yourself from a negative place and starting new. symbolic kinda

>>688218295
I mean last night, pretty sure you weren't there at the end of it.

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>>688218750
oh no i fell asleep. it was 4:30 am

>>688218969
I felt like I ran you off and stole your thread

Giving myself too much credit but it felt like I took something I didn't actually want, and then found out it wasn't so bad after all.

>>688218735
It sounds as if you're stalling and stringing one along, OP

>>688219404
>>688218474
It sounds like you're answering your own question, anon

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>>688219356
dont worry. all that matters is that people are being helped.
>>688219404
what

>>688220094
Whether or not they were helped depends on what results of their decisions. The advice I gave could very well result in someone's family members dying, or a man losing his girlfriend/worse. Advice is a tricky thing, and I find that oftentimes people only seek advice in order to spread the blame.

>>688220762
I never really thought of it that way. You have to remember that its the person's choice to take your advice or not.

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>>688221073

>>688219470
Bump

>>688220094
>>688219470
I meant that what else can one do if the physical changes are too long in coming along? What if hope is all lost? (Note: Hope alone is not a strategy.)

>>688215848
To be honest, I thought this post was asking how to an hero.

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>>688222424
Im gonna be honest. I dont know how to help you there

>>688223022
Although this is the infamous 4chan, what kind of advice-bot are you, then? You should be shut down, if not upgraded so that you're worth a damn.

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>>688223249
lo siento broham

>>688222726
I'm sure you've helped to ruin many a life by thinking like that, anon.

>>688223343
Are you genitalically capable?