>>687970508
shut up faggot

OP presents, The faggoty story that never happened

Thee stories and information posted here are autistic works of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

>>687970508
Here's another one.

>Go to Tiny Moving Parts (punk/emo) concert
>After seeing the openers, three girls come and stand in front of me, facing the stage
>The one on the left keeps stealing glances at me, I pretend not to notice
>She gradually pushes her friend over so that she could be in front of me
>This can't actually be happening
>TMP finally come on, the place is packed, everybody's touching and I'm pretty much grinding on this girl
>Copped a few feels, held her hips a bit, she didn't seem to mind, she even leaned into me
>Crowd got so rowdy that now her girl friend was in between us and in front of me
>She LITERALLY dragged her friend from behind her to her side just to get grinded on by me

Feels good mang.

Happened when I was in 9th grade.

Felt good man.

>>687971275

kill yourself for quoting that stupid quote fucking newfag

>Be me
>Be in line for food stamps with my dog (she's behind me)
>I can feel another dog checking me out on line, I pretend not to notice (the line is in a Zig zag)
>My dog stands even closer to me, to the point where she pisses on me, to "mark her territory" so to speak.

>>687970508
You're a faggot.

>>687970508
>hang out with girl i met through friend
>she's hot, funny etc. but is in a relationship
>whatever; i didn't fall in love, but i hung out with her and we flirted from time to time
>one of her friends is fucking amazing. The girl of my dreams
>we get together eventually
>Their friendship falls apart
>I had no idea why; was to stupid to make a connection
>Gf tells me 3 years later, that the other girl was actually totally in love with me, but said she never would have left her bf, yet she doesn't want her friend to date me and me to be happy with her

I'm stunned in retrospect how i was so blind and how bitchy women can be

>be me
>be OP
>Feel the need for attention
>post a thread on /b/ with my wildest fantasies.
>chicks fighting over me.
>feel proud.
>replies start to flood in.
>everyone thinks i am faggot.
>everyone is quoting my thread.
>not what i was aiming for but, meh.
>start pissing my pants and dancing to Micheal Jackson songs.
>feel sweaty.
>arms are weak
>moms spaghetti.
>dog knotting my butt hole.
>wake up.
>mfw it was just a dream
>mfw i am cereal

>Be me (not you)
>ultra handsome to the point that I frequently give women instant orgasm just by tipping my hat in their direction and winking
>waiting in line for the new Pokemon promo code whilst flexing my big muscles
>I can feel all the ladies in the shop staring at me and my hot body
>at the checkout I also pick up a 10 pack of energy drinks and pull a roll of $100s out of my fannypack
>"keep the change"
>the cashier wants me so much, I can tell
>says she really wants to sex me but knows I am out of her league (she's a 10/10 btw)
>I chuckle and agree
>she says the pokemon promotion ended yesterday and I get really mad
>I unsheath my sword that I always carry on my back and skillfully slice a nearby display stand into a million pieces and walk away as it burns
>also I set it on fire btw
>I'm outside and the cashier comes out and says that my masculine alphaness really turned her on
>she sucks my 10" cock in broad daylight whilst I browse facebook on my iPhone
>also I own like a dozen supercars and I drove off in a Ferrari

>10th grade
>Dated qt Mexican girl that was a year younger than me
>End of school year
>my ex gf had a friend who was into me lets call her M
>she invites me to a tiny kickback with her and her friends but my ex gf wasn't gonna be there
>surewhynot.jpg
>Free weed and alcohol
>M got way too drunk and wanted to fuck
>Didn't fap for 2 weeks and was horny af so why not
>We end up fucking
>Week later my ex gf finds out and breaks up with me
>She went and fucked up M too in front of the whole school
>Her friends told her than M and I fucked in the bathroom

>>687971441

You sound upset.

>>687971623
this.

>>687972618

Who names their kid 'M'?! Sheesh!

>>687970508
>"mark her territory"
kek

>>687973077

back to 9gag you unfunny faggot

>>687971441
Are you allright le fellow 9gagger :) :) ?

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Only legit greentext you would read so far.
>be me
>like a girl, she doesnt know but caught me looking at her a lot of times
>never said anything to eachother
>we dont even study the same thing
>see her a lot of times
>never says anything
>one day she saw me with a 8/10 that friendzoned me
>she started saying hi when we crossed from then
>sees me rolling a cigarette
>says hi and has a curious look different from the other times

it ends there cause i finished, wont see her next year cause is my last one.

>>687972618
>my ex gf breaks up with me

Try keeping one grammatical tense through your story you iliterate mongiloid.

>>687973790
why so angry?
Last time you had sex [when you exited your mothers vagina]

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>>687972605
I enjoyed this, thanks

>I am realy cool and girls have sex with me so many times every week
>super hot bicth comes up to me and begs me to impregmate her with my supirior seed
>I say no because she is poor and also not a brony

Fuck yeah

>>687970508
yeah i been boob touched oddly manytimes too and am now doubting if they werent accidental

>>687973921
Just giving you some constructive criticism, least you can do is thank me.

>>687970508

I'll bite. I dont like greentexting so enjoy the block o text.

When i was 17 i was dating a girl who had told me she was bi. I never thought much of it because we were dating. A few months in she wants to have a threesome with a girl friend of hers and planned out like a whole night. We find a secluded place outdoors and I'm like a fuckin kid on Christmas. Her friend after the fact gets my number and starts sending me videos and pictures. My (now ex)girlfriend says it was a good time but now she knows she doesnt want anyone touching me. Her friend tries to coax me to end the relationship. Had i known a few months later she would have ended it, i may have taken her friends offer.

Ive got more stories with other girls if anyone is interested.

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this thread is gay so i wont greentext it, but my (now) girlfriend and one of her freinds wanted my dick pretty much simultaniously...

>>687974109
>be at a concert with my gf, I'm standing behind her with my arms around her waist
>a random girl comes from behind and stands so close that the whole back of my arm is literally stuffed between her boobs
>it's not even that packed for her to stand so close to me

Oh it definitely doesn't happen by accident.

>sorry I am not using English always. This is my book.
>I am walking inside a road and it is look at me
>my hand pulls over my head and I am cold to look for
>it moves for me and is smiles at myself
>her speak is "hello today I am happy for saw your muscle"
>it has a grand breath and look at me for twice
>my penis wants for it and it want it also
>my telephone is now on paper to it and one back
>smiling makes a blink once and sex also
>I behind it go for street of back for building and the two bump
>other month it is fat by baby and tells father for me
>I get in boat and go also country and not father
>I am have sex not have baby in me

I have alpha

>>687974160
>>687973790

I don't need to thank you stupid fucking virgin nerd

>>687974932

Your welcome :)

>>687974333

I'll share another to help bump. I'm on a tablet so this is going a little slower than id like. Also FYI when reading this, Im not anytying special so I dont even understand why these things ever happen to me.

About a year later im hooking up with another girl i met in school, trying to get as much left out of highschool before leaving for college. We just stay friends with benefits because shes a sloo and would prefer to keep it that way. She randomly decides were done hooking up so i start dating another girl the summer into my freshman year of college. So sloo mcgee comes back around once i have a girlfriend and wants to hook up. I give her one last go for jealousy sake then go along my merry way.

>>687970508

went through the red light district in Amsterdam, don;t think my gf has ever clung on to me as much.
It's funny they don't even realise they're doing it.

>>687975242

Kill yourself

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>>687974932
Pic related
>>687975242 fuck you you're not me

>>687974333
>>687975337

Last one for now.

A year or so after story #2 and im living single college life. I met a girl through work that really whored her way into my phone (she fucking looked up my number in the system and contacted me). We start hooking up literally the day after she texts me. Ive never had a girl come after me this aggressively and i liked it. I was telling a friend of mine about this (we fucked once before sometime before story 1 when i was with that girlfriend). She made it a point to come over and we end up fucking again.

I dont understand, its like when chicks know youre happy and are looking to commit they just go into a frenzy.

>>687975337
>Im not anytying special so I dont even understand why these things ever happen to me.

Good, so we're on the same page.

Only difference is that you got laid a lot in hs. For me it was college.

>>687975841

>Trying this hard

Kill yourself

>be you

>>687976359

It was a little mix of both for me. Although i met my current girlfriend in college and its been locked down for 5 years. College seems to be the big time for most people.

>>687972021
this is why they shouldn't be allowed to vote

>>687977251

Ill also add that my currrent girlfriend has heard these stories out of her own curiosity and it has inadvertantly made her jealous and a little crazy. So everything has come full circle

I think the only actual time was in WoW. Either way, 2 chicks were at war over me and it made me feel nice lol.

>>687970508
i used to go collage with a little fat turd of a girl who hated me because i was thin and had long legs

>>687970508

This is the most faggy story I have ever heard in my life

Congratulations, I'm guessing you just started having sex?

>>687976027
>aggressive girls

Fuck I love girls like this. I had a redhead with the fattest ass I've ever seen be interested in me just because she thought I looked like Kid Cudi. Needless to say shit was cash, we fucked on her car and in my dorm's lounge. Fun shit.

>I dont understand, its like when chicks know youre happy and are looking to commit they just go into a frenzy.
Kek, you might be on to something there.

>Had a gf and a fwb at the time, I'm on Winter break
>Had a huge fight with my gf
>Tell my fwb about it
>My gf sends me nudes to make up for it
>Tell my fwb
>She sends nudes too later on

Kek.

>>687973790
>mongiloid

It's mongoloid, you stupid faggot. Go back to the third grade, where they can teach you how to spell your name correctly.

>>687970508
>go out with gf
>didn't know fuck all people, moved to a city from a coastal town
>she sees some of her girlfriends and goes over to have a chat
>a guy from a 'brother' school of her former all girls school says hi to her, out with a group of his friends
>the two groups merge and i sit there pretending to be interested in school reminiscing stories
>try to join in, girlfriend turns her chair away and continues laughing with everyone else and basically ignores me
>go get a drink and play pool with some random dude and his girlfriend
>pretty cool people, introduce me to their friends
>two of them are fairly attractive, half drunk and hitting on me hard
>tell them Im here with my girlfriend
>look around and catch my girlfriends eye, suddenly she;s interested in what I'm doing
>wave at her, motion her over
>she storms out of the place
>I say sorry I better leave my girlfriend is pissed
>two other girls follow
>see girlfriend get on train, pissed, yell out to her to wait for me, she doesn't, just make the last carriage
>turn around and the two girls are behind me
>explain to them I have a girlfriend and I better go find her
>they offer to help
>find girlfriend, two other girls sit behind us telling her not to be mad and how lucky she is to be with me
>they follow us home, girlfriend walks quickly and tells me I better get rid of them or it's over
>turn around and ask them politely to get the next train home
>they follow us home
>invite them in, brother lived with me at the time and thought I could hook him up
>they ignore him and keep telling my girlfriend how lucky she is
>she goes to bed crying
>plead with them to leave and this isn't normal
>they're actually really nice and I end up talking to them both all night
>bro goes to bed

pretty funny night looking back at it now, girlfriend ended up cheating on me anyways a couple of years later ha

>>687976469
Trying hard at what?

>>687978268

See what i mean? They wait to strike until the right moment. I feel like if half the perma virgins on here just made up a girlfriend and told another chick friend about them, theyd end up getting laid om principle alone.

>>687974705
>>687979771
>girls actively trying to steal a dude right in front of his girlfriend

Is this a thing??? Can we make it a thing? Because this is my new favorite thing.

>>687970508
That's pretty cute actually. Not in a sexual way just a kid way
>inb4 pedos saying why not both

its a little weird but my wife mentioned to me she used to suck some guy off and he was 9inchs and she has cell phone pics but she wont show me im dying to see the pics but cant find her old phone

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>>687972021

When it comes to men, women are fedora-tier. I have never met a woman who wasn't on that shit. It's kind of funny because women have much easier access to men they're after, men don't and we tend to pull that shit farrrrrr less.

Previously on things that never happened

>>687982212
kill yourself you filthy cuck

>Be at beach festival with girlfriend
>drunk and on lad
>gf is super hot and leading me around by the hand while I'm just wasted
>my Girl is a 9.5, suddenly an 11 crosses our path
>she is getting lead around by the hand by her bf as well
>meet eyes with 11, we gaze at each other both agape, our eyes both filled with lust and I know we both considered walking off from our partners for a second
>never see her again. Was it just me? She was staring at me so deeply

>>687970508
>I went to a store
>took some things with me
>go to the cash register
>a qt 3.14 comes from other direction, go to the cash register too
>I was faster
>not being a gentleman, I didn't let her go before me
>that look on her face
>mfw

>>687970508
on line for food, ON line for food...

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>start fucking qt1.42 who starts acting couple-y
>ice-cold.png
>come clean with her
>"this is just sex to me"
>she's obviously a bit hurt but wants to stick with it
>tells me all the other girls are asking how big my dick is
>I'm sizeable - not porn star but I need magnums
>she tells me "you're slightly above average"
>not validated by my dick size so I don't really care
>time passes
>eventually admits that it's big
>she just didn't want other chicks finding out and going into frenzy
>mfw
>cumdumpsters_do_the_darndest_things.webm

in all honesty I feel pretty weird when girls who are in company of their bf's look at me.
it's different with guys, we are horny all the time.

>>687970508
You’re girlfriend, sisters, auntie, all of your friend’s girlfriends, all of your crushes, exes and your mom were all fighting over my cock when they were sucking me off in a massive orgy

>>687971623
bwaha

>>687971623
for some reason. top kek.

>Be me
>have 30 yo girlfriend, 6 years older than me
>still in uni, finishing my master's degree and working
>have to share an apartment with a girl, hardly a 6/10
>gf is cool with it at first, but as time goes by she gets more and more paranoid
>gets gelous everytime i even mention roomate
>goes through my phone everytime she has a chance
>eventually even stops saying hello to roomate when she comes visit me
>roomate is cool, minds her own business and actually has a boyfriend she seems really in love with
>this does not change gf's mind in the slightest
>she's firmly convinced that roomate is developing some kind of plan to take me away from her
>after some time decide to do something about it, since the situation has become so tense between me and gf that I can't even get her to have sex with me when we're in my apartment
>i don't care if she's outright crazy at this point, I don't want to lose the sex and perks that come with this relationship
>mind that gf is pretty wealthy both from her family's money and the fact that she has a well paying job
>think of the best way out of this situation
>roomate's gotta go
>plus there's no way i'm moving out of my apartment just to make gf happy
>the hard part is to make roomate leave and not be blamed for it
>figure out a plan to make roomate's life hell so she has to leave
>first of all, the love life
>make catfish account on facebook using pictures i found on a fb exposed thread on /b/
>i'm now a 20 yo redhead
>start adding as much people as i can to make the profile believable
>add all of roomate's bf's friends so he will think i'm legit
>finally add him and start chatting
>he's fallen for it
>exchange kik profiles and start chatting there
>start sending him the nsfw pictures
>after a few days of this, he tells me he's not going to be reachable during the weekend
>figure out he's coming to visit roomate and he doesnt' wanna tell me he's got a girlfriend
>youresofucked.jpg
continue?

>started using left hand to fap one night
>right hand wanted none of that and took over
>shit was so cash

>>687975653

Why so mean? :'(

>>687970664
this mygod

>>687979896

Pretending you're not a samefag, kys.

>>687985993
underrated

>>687986256
This is 4chan.

Don't like it? Get out faggot.

>>687974784

I read this in an Eastern European accent

>>687986600

Wanna talk about it champ? Sounds like your butthurt comes from possibly being molested as a child. It's okay, no one's judging you.

>>687985638
ok

>>687986887
Well the guy guy double dubs so he must know what he's talking about

>>687986887
How was my statement butthurt?
I merely told him that this is normal, and if he didn't like it he should leave.

You seem to be self projecting there, btw.

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>>687986887
edgy

>>687987188
This fucking guy and his dubs

Ok faggots, let me tell you about my day:
Woke up this morning 5:30 sharp with a blowjob from two bitches, one was trying to fit my humongous 3 pound balls in her mouth while the other was choking halfway on my 18 and 3\8 inch dick. Must have came about a quart of sperm. They wanted more, cockslapped them unconcious, I had to hit the gym. Frontflipped from my 14th floor loft into my valet parked 2012 Ferrari (I got connexions) and gave the valet 3000$ in loose change. Pushed my shit to about 4 hundo (mph, mind you) and I was at the gym in no time. When I entered, the room scent suddently changed from sweat to wet pussy. That;s just the effect I have on hoes. Did my usual relax routine, 6000 push-ups, 8500 crunches, bench pressed 30 plates, etc. etc. you know the drill. After doing my shit in 16 minutes, my super strong senses got in action, I was smelling pussy. I looked up, and sure enough this fly honey was coming towards me. When i say fly, I mean that bitch was fine as a fucking umbrella. 18 years old, 44DD titties on a tight fucking frame. I mean a real skinny bitch, the type you losers jack off to, she didnt weigh more than 5 pounds. Took out my trouser monster and she started to squirt hard, she was convulsing and having 6 orgasms at the same time. Then I gave it to her while all the guys were giving me high fives and all the hoes were on the floor squirting like motherfucking fountains. Made the slut beg for my cum, but I didnt give it to her to prove a point, I still came but only compressed air came out, imagine your best orgasm, then multiply it by 35. Didnt say nothing, hopped back in the Lambo and went back home. Now I'm sitting here, drinking 15 000$ champagne and eating gold plated sushis made by the 2 bitches from earlier. Its only 6:30 and I did more in 1 hour than you faggots will do your whole life. Enjoy jacking off to stupid drawn pictures.

>>687985638
continue

i would like that... yes

>>687987644
>2012 Ferrari
>Lambo

Get your story straight.
All other things you mentioned sound very reasonable to me tbh.

>>687985638
cont.
>roomate and bf go to her room and shut the door
>after a few minutes hear the usual laughters and imagine that sexy time has started
>wait until i hear her moan through the thin walls
>go to my room, take phone out and send him a pussy pic on kik saying "i wish you were here"
>then send some other text to make sure they ear the phone ring
>noises suddenly stop
>the whole apartment is quiet for a minute
>then hell breaks loose
>hear roomate screaming, cursing at him
>go to the kitchen near her room to behold the disaster i created
>roomate storms out of her room
>bf runs after her half naked, dick still hard and all
>tries to explain this shit like it's not a big deal and redhead is just someone he met online
>she's crying in her rage at this point
>i intervene as a proper whiteknight and ask her if there's a problem
>she apologizes to me about this mess and wants to kick him out of the apartment
>he's not going anywhere so i escort him out, again trying to be the reasonable one
>the next two hours it's roomate crying herself to sleep and me laughing my ass off in my room
>phase one has been a success

>>687978268
>she thought I looked like Kid Cudi
Gtfo nigger

My fucking wife thinks I'm cheating on her when I scratch my own back when it itches.

>>687988340
Feel bad for your roomate but still laughing my ass off

>Are you allright le fellow 9gagger :) :) ?
>fellow 9gagger
Kys faggot

>>687971623
KEK

>at the club
>Was hanging out with friends
>One is girl who likes me
>Proceed to get completely smashed
>Start making out with random girl
>Girl who likes me goes up to my best bud
>"Hey, where's anon? Do you think he likes me"
>Friend points over to me making out
>"Huh, I don't know"

She got upset and left.

>>687983477
Not just you, shit like this happens a lot

>>687972360
You, good sir, have climbed to the pinnacle of kek mountain.

>>687988340
continues

>be me 17, into older girls
>be dating 27 year old I met at work
>in weird phase, dye my hair strange colors. Purple, teal, etc
>at mall with girlfriend
>2 girls my age come up to me
>OMG I love your hair! Where did you get that color?
>I can start to feel girlfriends anger as the conversation continues
>they look at my girlfriend and say "it's so cool you let him do that, I wish my mom was that awesome!
>one gives me her number and then leaves
>me and girlfriend leave immediately and fight all the way back to my house

>>687973790
>illiterate
>misspells mongoloid
Topkek

>>687988340
cont.
>start to think about phase 2
>seeing her love life crumble, she needs a crying shoulder to lean on.
>must make her despise men and being around them.
>knock on her door in the morning
>ask if she needed anything.
>she apologizes once more saying she never expected him to cheat on her.
>hold her and tell her she deserves better.
>she looks at me saying, if only i could find someone like you anon.
>smile politely telling her she can even do better.
>she puts her head back on my shoulder, her hans wrapped around me.
>start playing with her hair, gently kissing his forehead saying, its all going to be OK.
>feel her hands moving on back.
>move my hands on hers.
>looks at me with her puppy puffy eyes saying, i need a new sponsor, will you be my new sponsor anon?
>ask her if she is sure she needs one
>she says yes.
>i hold her tight, my lips are against hers, my chest pressing against hers.
>look deep in her eyes
>she looks deeply into mine
>i want you. i tell her.
>i want you too, she tells me.
>i want you to defecate on my body.
>WHAT. she screams
>thats what i want, i say calmly.
>WHAT WHAT WHAT
>take clothes off. lay on the ground rubbing myself
>shit on me ...shit on me now i scream.
>she tells me i am sick and need to get help, grabs her coat and storms out of the apartment.

continue?

>Im a solid 8/10
>crush super hard on friend
>being pathetic about it drops me to a 3/10
>b-b-but I love you!
>drop to 1/10
>decide to move on, go on a date with 8/10 hottie
>friend finds out, asks to meet up with us for drinks
>no thats okay...
>she shows up anyway, sits in my lap, grinds on me
>apologises to my date...as she gives me a lap dance
>Date asks to be taken home...fml
>date fucks me senseless
>friend comes over a few nights later and fucks me senseless
>they both later confess theu jumped on me out because of the other.
Ended up with a totally different girl that isnt retarded.

>>687971441
newfag is mad. y u so mad doe?

why the fuck was the line in a zig zag

>>687988340
cont.
>it's been a week since roomate and bf broke up
>she's been depressed the whole time, even went home for like 4 days to clear her thoughts
>gf comes visit me during the week
>try to make the best of the days when we're alone in the apartment
>first two days we have sex in nearly every room of the flat except for roomate's bedroom
>life is good, but it can be better
>last day before roomate comes back from her parent's house i tell my gf the reason she left
>at first she's mad that i brought roomate up in our convo
>then i see this subtle, almost unnoticeable smile in her lips
>fuck, gf is rejoicing at roomate's misfortunes
>i guess i'm in love with a psycho
>next day roomate returns, still a bit bummed down but much more positive
>gf hears her open the front door and goes back to being angry and nervous
>i gotta do this, for the greater good
>roomate's gotta go

>>687970508
>checking me out on line,
>on line
god i fucking hate you north eastern idiots. its IN LINE YA FUCKS

>>687974784
This. So much this.

>>687989320
LMAO yeah keep going as long as this doesn't end in dinosaur

>>687971623
topkek

>>687975653
Your summer is showing fam

>>687972360
Fucking kek

>be me
>It was a hot summer day and I was in my workout room benching 1200 pounds
>My abs were flexing and girls within a 10 mile radius were getting wet
>Once I was done with my daily 32 hour workout I called one of the bitches I know, Jessica. She is really damn hot and looks like a supermodel
> got into my Lamborghini Gallardo and reved it up to 40,000 RPM (this is an Italian import with special engine system)
> I got onto the freeway near my house and threw it into 8th gear, I hit about 600 mph and I could hear the sonic boom as I broke the sound barrier. As I was flooring it on the freeway like a badass, Jessica called me and said she wanted me to fuck her. So be it.

> I came to a full stop from 700 mph in front of her house. These Ferrari’s have top notch brakes, you know..
>So she gets out of the house and walks up to my Bugatti and starts eyeballing my dick. I could tell she was staring at it because when I looked at her I noticed she was looking at my dick
> Flash forward 10 minutes later. My 30 inch dick is going inside of her vagina, hitting them walls
>I’m holding her entire body up with my left pinky as I’m fucking her and she has 30,000 orgasms
> She looks me in the eyes and she says “harder.” V-TEC just kicked in, yo. I blow my load so hard she falls off my dick
>There had to have been about two pints of cum everywhere. People say I cum like a pornstar, I wouldn’t disagree with them
> I throw her a towel so she can clean herself up then I do a triple backflip into my Maserati and drive home
the end.

>>687989320
LE TOP KEK

>>687971024
newfag detected

>>687970508

>be last night
>in gay club with girl that I have massive crush on
>get attention from guys more than girls
>this always happens when I go there
>girl still looks at me and stands by me really close
>laugh and daydream

>>687970508

Cool story, bro.

>>687981094
I wish

>>687971623
underrated post

>>687979771
this story is so bullshit

>>687983921
Pic?

>Girl I was trying to get with and I hadn't seen in over a month invites me to a concert with her friends
>Have a great time talking to strangers cause I feel awkward and lonely with them
>Sell pot to one of the band members
>Hit it off with one of her lady friends
>She is especially touchy on the way back
>Tells me she doesn't want anything romantically a few days later
>Momentarily feel bad then feel nothing as I realize I don't feel love anymore
What now /b/?

>>687982865
Topkek

>>687990693
sell me some weed, faggot

i need a front though

>>687985993
Kek!

>>687990810
Where do you live?

>>687990919
Vegas

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>>687979771
FUCKING SUMMERFAGS and your made up nonsense. You're a terrible writer.

>>687990919
FL 850

>>687991016
Not happening, nigger.

>>687985993
KEK

>>687989535
FINISH THE FUCKING STORY MAN

>>687987644
Dubs say it is so

>>687973921
Why the fuck are there so many newfags today? Gtfo

>>687991016
>>687991080
that guy isn't me. just another faggot trying to bite my steez

>>687990283

>in gay club
>get attention from guys more than girls
>this always happens when I go there

Umm...

>>687989535
cont.
>after a few weeks of indecision on my part, finally figure out the next move
>me and roomate go to the same uni and we have classes in the same building
>one saturday, since i don't have to work, wake up early and head to said building
>go to the men's bathrooms as soon as the uni opens, just to be sure no one will see me
>write her number on the walls of a couple of toilets
>write stuff like horny whore, slut (sincerely i don't remember)
>return home, stop at a bakery near my house and pick some sweets
>enter the apartment just as roomate is waking up, say goodmorning and tell her i picked up breakfast for the both of us
>thanks anon, you're so kind!
>the next monday she comes home from uni looking worried
>ask her what's wrong, she says it's nothing
>hope she got her first fan calls
>but later that night while we're having dinner, phone rings
>anonymous number
>she furiously picks up and screams
>LEAVE ME ALONE ASSHOLE! and hangs up
>she burst into tears
>then tells me the story of how people have been calling her this whole week saying she's a whore and asking her for sex
>the best part is that she suspects her ex bf to be behind this

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>>687982212
pic related

>>687991465
Fuck off faggot, hope a hurricane takes you.

>>687974784

Kek

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>>687988391
No.

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>>687972360

>>687990509
THANK YOU

>>687971888
Suck my dick!

>>687973790
Newfag gonna try to call you out, but you're right.

>>687992015
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R2Z0T_VnPJg

Key to female jealousy...

Women and men both want what they can't have. If you are anything but a total reject, another woman taking you off the market triggers some insane spot in a woman's head and raises your value way above what you are worth. If you spread it around work that you are thinking of popping the question, you are going to have a line of girls giving you attention as their jealous-brain starts yelling "losing potential mate! Losing potential mate!"

>>687991636
keep it going

>be me
>19
>looks 6-7/10
>party
>go to the dance floor
>dj sucks so much ass, i literally feel like throwing up
>go tell my wingman bro that we should prolly leave, had this sports event next day
>he's like yeah, soon
>while standing next to him an almost stranger girl starts talking to kinda flirty
>1min later starts grinding hardcore
>then my bro tells me that he's leaving
>one split-second choice and I leave with him
>as I go outside, a random girl from the same party starts chatting with me
>tell her I'm heading back to the campus
>she says she's coming there for the afterparty
>exchange numbers
>later she messages me, but I was too tired, so I just denied her

University life 5/5

>>687991636
>>687992456
i'm finishing the story, i'm not an english speaker so it's a little hard for me. but brace yourselves for the finale

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>>687981094
>>687990463
>>687991033
>hurr durr "summerfags"
>falling for the bait

>>687992656
braced and ready

>>687992657
Stop pretending you were baiting. You suck at writing

>>687989372
TOP FUCKING KEK

>>687971308
>stealing glances

>>687970508
> never

Well. That was rather anticlimactic.

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>>687985638
doing a masters and can't spell jealous

>>687991716
suck a dick, bitch. we haven't had a proper hurrican here in over a decade.

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>>687971441

>>687971441

high levels of salt and faggotry detected.

>>687972605

only believable story so far!

>>687971441
Newfag detected kys

>>687993049
>implying that i wrote it

>>687974784
I feel ya, buddy.

>>687991636
>>687992656
cont.
>at this point i'm starting to have second thoughts about what i'm doing
>roomate's really depressed and sad the whole time
>i'm living in this fucked up enviroment where my roomate is constantly sad, and my gf is either angry at me for no reason or laughing her ass off at roomate's condition
>but i see the light at the end of the tunnel
>one more little bad deed and this will all be over
>and the sooner, the better
>i have to do this, i repeat myself
>roomate's gotta go
>now i was running out of options for what to do
>i wanted to ruin her friendships, but it turned out to be too complicated
>anyway she only had a couple of friends who anyway weren't so close to her
>i haven't mentioned to you guys that roomate had two pets
>specifically she had two pet hamsters
>you're getting where i'm going with this
>she was very attached to the little fucks, gave the names etc
>turns out that in the middle of all this shitstorm that had fell upon her, the hamsters had given her some comfort
>they were male and female apparently, since a little one was born just when i needed it
>a little pink hamster, blind and with no hair
>i had to do this guys
>having had hamsters myself when i was in middle school, i knew that this animals can sometimes turn on their own babies
>it's an innate thing. The mother basically doesn't recognize the son's smell and kills him
>again, i had no choice guys
>i went in her room one day while she wasn't home
>took the little fuck from the cage
>sprayed him with my deodorant
>i figured out that if this wouldn't do the trick, the mother would do the rest
>and i shit you not, she fucking ate him
>there was only half of him left, the bottom half
>roomate came home that evening, discovered what had happened
>was incredulous
>i tried to confort her and even googled this shit with her
>after this, it was all downhill
>she gained a few kg, started neglecting the studies
>and finally moved out of the apartment and returned home

>>687973585
Quick, grab her contact

>>687993222
Trips of truth.

>>687994200
Dubs confirm it

I'll go again.
My current girlfriend met as a hookup from online. I'm not a 10, but in bed I'm a 15/10. Almost every girl is almost ruined for other men. They tell me how incredible it is, best sex of their lives, big cock. Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying I'm a 10/10. I'm older, kids, anxiety. But I'm worth keeping around.

So the hookup keeps getting more and more serious. I try keeping her from getting attached. More I make her work for it, the more she wants me. Begs me to enslave her. I'm even worse on her as a test before I let her be my slave.

Starts out with her not being jealous. We have threesomes. She knows I fuck other girls. But now she's sad a lot when I see her. She says she knows I still fuck other girls and can't stop thinking about it. She says she's sorry because she knew I would and she's still upset about it. (How am I living this life where my girlfriend apologizes about being upset about me fucking other girls?)

Other day she shows up at 7:30 in the morning before she goes to work, half because she just needs to lay in my arms for 30 minutes, half because she wanted to find out who I was fucking the night before. (I hadn't though.)

>>687990265
oh look OP is mad cause people dont believe him

>>687970664
fucking kek

>>687993643
>kys
Back to facebook

>>687994243
Gets are real

>>687993977
FINALE
>i haven't heard from roomate in two years now
>as soon as she moved out i called gf and told her that there was a spare room in my apartment
>she was so happy, i can't put it into words
>my sick twisted girlfriend didn't have a slight of pity for the poor thing
>i talked to the landlord and he agreed to make my gf the new roomate for the spare room
>me and gf are now me and wife
>we're as happy as we have ever been
>i sometimes think about the implications of what i did to grant me this happiness
>the lenghts i went just for this selfish reward
>but i tell you, everyday i look at my wife and see her smile, everything else fades away
>i would have ruined a thousand lives for that smile
>i eventually told her about what I did. At first she was really mad at me
>but after a few days we reconciled and she understood that i did it all for her and took little or no pleasure in doing it
That's what love means to me anons. It means doing terrible things. Things that scar you and that may haunt you for eternity. But if the price is worth it, you will have no regrets.

>>687993977
any more?

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I never notice when women are jealous.
You know why?
It's because I don't care about a woman's shitty feelings.

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>>687994869
you're the hero these faggots deserve.

>>687986441
Kiss Your Sister?

>>687989320
KEKEKEKEKKEKKEKEKKEKEKK

>>687988391
Summer here already?

>>687996004
check my orange text<

>>687996259
Interesting.

>>687996383
i dun goofed

>>687989372
what a madhouse

>>687970508
This post is bullshit and you know it

>>687972605
>10"
Bruh, that's so unbelievable, no way that's true

>>687997597
Yeah, way too small.

Made up stories here are so top kek. Keep going pls

>>687996959
It isn't, but hey, whatever makes you feel better, kid.

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>girls jealous over 4channers