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>>687968041
Dumping.

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>>687968041

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>>687968041
Failthread.

>>687968041
The first is the lie, fag

>>687968337
Wrong. Still fag, though. Post one, nigger.

>babysat friend of family's daughter when I was teenager
>learned she was regularly molested by her alcohol father
>discovered this when one day this girl is taking off my pants and trying to get at my dick
>tells me her dad likes it and she likes me more than him
>about 2 seconds of wut before 15 year old hardon overruled and let her
>filled her mouth
>she swallowed
>kept licking
>things escalated for years- would often bargain with her "do your chores and I'll let you suck it" sort of shit

Second story:
>I have two birthdays

>>687968041
>I'm gay
> I watch trap porn

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Can you fucking ignorant Americunts explain this shit?!

Not only do you call it the wrong thing, handegg is made out to be this hard hitting, tough guy sport when 80% of the fucking game is spent standing in a circle or during commercials.

Shit-tier sport that somehow keeps Americunts occupied. Probably their low IQs.

The real FOOTBALL is a god-tier sport.
football>handegg

>>687968860
You really have two birthdays. The first one is the lie. Try harder.

>>687968870
You don't watch trap porn. If that's not the lie then how 'bout try again.

>>687968900
oh look the limeys are awake and still cranky about losing the revolutionary war 200 something years ago.

I have fucked a woman in front of a girlfriend

I fucked a trap

>>687969095
kek

>>687969122
Hmmm... Tough one. The LIE is that you fucked a trap?

1. I sucked 3 the dicks of 3 tranny hookers

2. My wife died in front of me right after we got married

>I once beat an aboriginal to death, but got away with it by lying and saying he attacked me first, and because there was no cameras in the area to contradict my story and he was a convicted felon

>I once had an olympic athlete come to my school because I won a make a gross face competition in a kids magazine

>>687969261
>first one, easy brah

>>687968860
>the first one

I've murdered three men before.

Or

I met Morgan Freeman and called him a nigger to his face.

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> I'm an atheist, but memorized an obscure verse of the bible (a specific translation) and use it as my password to my huge stash of CP. Which I'm about to fap to.

> Fifteen years ago I broke off my engagement to a runway model, left the state, and tried to live off the grid because she was crazy and dangerous to me and had connections.

>>687970370
It was a trick question, >>687969261.
They are both true.

>>687970973
how'd your wife die may I ask?

>>687968860
>father was an alcohol

>>687971146
car accident

>I discover dad's porn magazine at 6 and after that i start to molest my cousin, even rub my dick to her ass cheeks.

>When i was 8 my olders cousins used to make pranks and fun of me until the point they make me cry.

>>687971146
Beaten to death by 3 tranny hookers.

>>687971146
OP probably told her about the trannies.

>>687968860
>>things escalated for years- would often bargain with her "do your chores and I'll let you suck it" sort of shit

damn i wish my girlfriend had been abused by her alcohol father...

>>687968870
clever
i laughed

>>687968900
thank you for another good post, 4chan bot

>>687968041
>I am mentally challenged xd

>I donno how to triforce

  ▲
▲ ▲

>>687970904
well, the feds now know that you use a bible verse and can easily do bible verse dictionary attack against your password now.

good job.

>>687971633
oh my gosh.... i laughed so hard at this

>>687972277
Let the back tracking begin!
Also checked

>>687972501
D'oh! wrong post, should have been
>>687972156

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>>687972156

Bah; as if I'd actually use something that could be brute forced. Nope; that one was the lie. I've never been brave or tech savvy enough to accrue a collection. I just see a few LSM pictures here or there.

The evil ex is apparently doing fine now, is mentally stable, and is doing minor admin work and living off her new husband. She's no longer runway model material, but she looks fine for someone her age.

>A woman I work with was crying in the hall last night and I asked her what was wrong. Her boyfriend called her and told her that her stuff was in the dumpster at his apartment and she was no longer welcome in his house, all for getting a job and not being his servant full time. I helped her get over there after work and get her stuff, and break into the apartment and get the Xbox and TV that were her's. Brought her back to my place and white knighted her ass and slept on the couch while she got my pillow top queen. Actually the couch is damn comfortable too and I split time between the two. I will refuse, wholeheartedly, any attempt at reward until she is secure in her own person and then beg like a dog for sex because she is goddess level hot.

>Once, when I was really hard up, I got my ex drunk and had sex with her after she passed out.

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>>687972501
>>687972623

Ah; you meant "backtracing"

alright. i'll play.

> My kindergarten teacher stomped my ass with high heels. I ran into the bathroom and locked the door. She coaxed me out and looked at her handiwork. "We just had an accident when we were having a footrace, anon." Repeat this lie to my mother. Came clean to mom a few days later. But that is not how I remember it: I remember my mother getting me out of the bathroom, and I have no memory of lying about it.

OR

> I used to babysit for a tiny rich jewish woman when her tiny jewish trophy husband got sick of her cheating on him and checked himself into a mental hospital. Their two girls were like 9-12 and had no concept of physical boundaries, but I let them touch me because I didn't want them to grow up scared of human touch like I have. I think the mother actually wanted something sexual to happen. She got me to take off my pants while we were all eating breakfast and give it to her daughter to sew back together, who was supposed to be great at sewing, but when I got it back, predictably, it looked like an 8 year old had sewn it.

>>687972156
unless the guy has a fail safe to prevent brute force attacks (i.e multiple auto erases and refills of the partition its on) but he's probably not smart enough for that.

I'm gay
I'm not gay

>>687971633
Lost

>>687972623
It's no joke.

The NSA funnels criminal intel to the cops through the FBI. The cops use "parallel construction" to legally lie about how they solved the case (a "critical crime fighting tool" the FBI says.) A Florida D.A. spilled the whole thing some time ago and I've heard there have been other cases where people involved have done the right thing and spoken up.

Even scarier if you combine that shit like Chicago PD's blacksite where they stick a gun in your anus to frighten and humiliate you Abu Ghraib style.

At least we're beating the terrorists?

>>687973102
anon, I consider myself pretty smart, but I either don't understand what you mean or how this could help.

the cops image your disks and conduct attacks against the image. the image of your disk can't "auto erase" or "refill."

what am i missing?

>>687972731
*wipes sweat from brow*

>>687970185
Second

>>687968041
Second is false

>>687968041
>be me, 14
>fucked sister in the ass

or

>be me, 14
>fucked brother in the ass

>>687968041
everything i say is a lie

>>687968041
I'm a virgin.

Everyone agrees with me that football is gay.

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>>687973648

>>687973806
were you ever locked up in a psychiatric institution in pennsylvania?

>>687973826
so clever thanks for reading the thread

>>687973842
try harder

>>687973806
Fucked brother in the ass because you're too faggot to fuck a chick.

>be me, posted a banana in a YLYL thread

Or

>be me, posted a spidey in a pizza thread

>doxxed my gf to fap to her getting exposed

>stole nudes from a friend's computer and doxxed her to fap to her getting exposed

>>687973806 (You)
>>687974010
nope

>>687971633
Kek'd

>I jerked off my cousin (related by marriage)

Or

>I took my current boyfriend's virginity in a hotel with his mother and cousin in the same room

>>687974010
i think its called the liars paradox

I regularly steal my sister's clothing and fap to fantasies of myself as a sissy trap

When i was 13, my friend walked in on me in the shower jacking off. I convinced him to blow me and he refuses to acknowledge that it happened to this day


Have fun guessing

>>687974250
The first

>>687968900
The ball is a foot long you limey bastard

>Got my Dick sucked by a teacher in school

Or

>Have a sexual relationship with the 18 years older cousin of my mother

>>687974143
you stole your girlfriend's nudes from ex-friend's computer

>>687974224
>I fapped half way between my current fapping progress and cumming. Then at my new fapping progress, I fapped to the new half-way point between my new fapping progress and cumming. I did this repeatedly until I came

lrn2paradox