>>687960354
I was born blind, only to have my sight suddenly restored at age seventeen when I was hit in the head with a large halibut.

>>687960621
I was fucked by my dad now I'm pregnant with my sister

i lost my virginity to my mother's ex-boyfriend when i was 12.

>spoiler: im a male.

I love to bark while getting fucked up the ass while wearing a latex dog mask.

My step Aunty gave me a blowjob when I was 15

File: tmp_14025_14582169413571877881916.jpg (55 KB, 437x468) Image search: [Google]

55 KB, 437x468

The skin on the bottom of my feet is so thick I can put out cigaretteres and run razor blades across it and not feel a thing or even penetrate it to draw blood, it's always been that way and I'm not sure why

>>687960841

i think this is very common. had a mexican friend who used to get this done to by an older aunt too.

are you mexican?

>>687960857

its probably cause you're a frog.

>>687960621
What's it like being blind your whole life and starting to be able to see?

>>687960354
I'm a certified genius.

I know, I know. We're ALL certified geniuses around here. But here's the kicker: I'm serious.

I have more talent in my pinky finger than ten of you "normies" put together.

I fell off a roof and landed on my head when was 11, and got back up and was fine other than a bitch of a headache.

I had sex

>>687961017
Yeah but most prodigies go nowhere in adulthood...

>>687961017

i was about to take you seriously until you called everyone here "normies".

>you fucking dumb faggot.

>>687960354
I did gay stuff with my best friend when I was a kid.

>>687960992
A mixed blessing, since that was also the day I found out I was nigger.

>>687960902
Not Mexican. Aunty was just drunk and offered to suck my dick, I was a horny teenager and wasn't going to turn it down. Plus she was only new to the family.

>>687961017

>normies

Is that what autists call the rest of us?

>>687961262

then she wasnt your aunt. she was just some chick who married your family member.

my friend used to get made to lick his aunt by his father's sister. two of them actually. they used to take turns on him and watch out for each other.

he was like 9, and they were in their 20s. long time ago. in the 80s.

>>687961529
I did say step aunt in my op

>>687960354
That's completely believable. I don't care if it's true or not, that's 100% believable. You gotta up your game, bro.

I'm capable of using an energy source which science has not yet uncovered to heal minor bruises, aches, and wounds. I speculate it has to do with the human soul. I can also prove the existence of this energy source, which is unique to each individual person and which anyone can use with time and training; I can prove its existence through use of a thermal camera. By "turning on" the ability in my hands, I can raise the ambient air temperature above my palm by 10 degrees Fahrenheit in a matter of seconds. I expect within a year or two I'll have it up to 15 F.

With any luck, I'll live a long life and be able to either heal broken bones and worse injuries, or else seriously burn motherfuckers by touch.

I just found out that I kept myself alive and stopped self harming for a woman and then because of my destructive personality decided to subconsciously end it in order to harm or kill myself.

She was the best thing that ever happened to me, now that I know that she loved me- I can die happy right?

File: capitol_707_stripes.jpg (84 KB, 400x381) Image search: [Google]

84 KB, 400x381

I've had a toaster blow up in my face

>>687960621
Slightly Believable

>>687960690
Very Believable

>>687960726
Very Believable

>>687960758
This is /b/. Very /b/elievable.

>>687960841
Good for you. I believe it.

>>687960857
Very Believable.

>>687961017
I don't give a fuck.

>>687961082
Lucky, but reasonably believable.

>>687961103
PEE-PEE GO IN VAGOO

>>687961873
Very Believable.

>>687962015
Very Believable.

All of your shit is believable, except maybe Halibut-Head. Do I need to go to /x/ for some unbelievable shit? Is it just the wrong time of night?

File: image.jpg (940 KB, 2448x3264) Image search: [Google]

940 KB, 2448x3264

Im a former police officer who robbed a fuel station and spent 2 years in jail. Currently still in prison but under lowered restrictions so I'm owning a smartphone.

>>687962516
Good job. You goofed.

>>687960354
>I fucked a girl on mushrooms
man you two must be tiny as fuck if you managed that.

>>687962516
Here's the story
http://www.stuttgarter-zeitung.de/inhalt.halbbrueder-wegen-raub-verurteilt-polizist-ueberfaellt-tankstelle.6856a21a-52e8-4d22-b255-949b2d28bda0.html

File: 1461021925535.jpg (136 KB, 353x354) Image search: [Google]

136 KB, 353x354

>>687962693
This.

I may make a habit of destroying my own life but at least I'm not stupid.

>>687962855
Not true.
>Garnish table or surface with mushrooms
>Begin the sex
>???
>Profit!!!

>>687962868
Well, my German's a little rusty, but I'll try to translate:

"A Police Officer dun goof'd"

How's that?

>>687961260
FUCKING UNDERATED POST!

>>687960354
That wasn't a grill

File: image.png (2 MB, 2048x1536) Image search: [Google]

2 MB, 2048x1536

>>687960354
>I once got quint and screen saved it
pic related

>>687960354
Were you on the shrooms? Or the girl? Both?
Did you find a nice mushroom to sit on while fucking?

I taught a family member how to suck cock/swallow a long time ago. She became a well known porn star.

Obviously won't be giving out her name, stage or other

This was back in the days of VHS

File: image.jpg (235 KB, 960x1280) Image search: [Google]

235 KB, 960x1280

>>687962998
I like that. Here's a pic of me infront of my locked window. Don't mind the messy hair. Just got up.

>>687961017
Post certification please

File: image.jpg (250 KB, 960x1280) Image search: [Google]

250 KB, 960x1280

Also: my cool bunk bed

File: image.jpg (2 MB, 3264x2448) Image search: [Google]

2 MB, 3264x2448

>>687963287
You are a dense motherfucker and won't post certification so I will.

>>687963765
Meant this guy >>687961017

File: 1461855072483s.jpg (5 KB, 117x125) Image search: [Google]

5 KB, 117x125

>>687963111

>>687963478
ur a cute bad boy

>>687960354
Nah you only thought you did

>>687963765
>>687963837
I was about to say, I think you've made a mistake lol

I'm actually a pretty cool guy and I've had a girlfriend

I eat food

>>687960354
I masturbated in the shower on acid and hold that moment as the best thing I've ever done

>>687963297
I've just got to ask:
You were a cop, and you know how dumb most criminals are, so why did you try to rob a gas station of all things? The risk/reward ratio is terrible. About 90% of armed robbers get caught and if you didn't get caught you'd a have what, a few thousand dollars at the most?

old fag here.

when i was 21 I had a 12 year old gf.

we used to make out in public and no one gave a shit.

>how times have changed.

File: 1460665626897.jpg (13 KB, 252x276) Image search: [Google]

13 KB, 252x276

>>687964091
This, or some buckshot to the face.

>>687964217
You are trolling but you still deserve to be strung up.

After meeting my 22yr old daughter for the first time, we both descended into a sordid 3 month sexual affair - which was only halted by an intervention from her best friend - informing my entire family of what had happened. I now lead the most lonely horrible life and can't wait to die. Seriously.

>>687964091
I needed money fast, not enough time for something bigger. The plan was almost bulletproof and we didn't get caught for 3 months. My partner then bragged about it to a close friend who sold us to the cops. I told him a thousand times to not talk to anyone but me so my mistake was having a partner.

>>687964403
Damn, that's gotta hurt.

>>687964329
thats wild. too bad she couldnt keep her mouth shut

>>687960354
I've been injecting heroin sense I was 16 I'm 30 now and still vary healthy and I don't look bad for my age also

>>687964329
Pics of her? Was it worth it?

>>687964310
>You are trolling but you still deserve to be strung up.

im ok with that. but only if you string her up too for offering herself to me and asking me if I had a gf, and telling me she wanted to be my gf.

>equality motherfucker.

File: time ribbon.png (36 KB, 1000x1000) Image search: [Google]

36 KB, 1000x1000

I'm pretty sure that I have a genuinely extraordinary brain.

I'm a multiple-synesthete, and even I'm probably not aware of how much shit is wired together in my brain. I can feel sound as tactile and emotional input, I see the words people speak as text, I have a "time ribbon" for the months of the year, a longer ribbon for decades and centuries in history, and a scrolling bar for days of the week with varying levels of elevation (Wednesday is actually "hump day"), I have grapheme-color synesthesia, and a number of academic things like language, information, and math have a sort of spatial/kinetic quality to them for me. Operations of multiplication in particular have a very twisty, collapsing movement to them that I'm pretty sure only makes sense to me. Music has a a less consistent kinetic quality as well, but in a more visual way than a tactile one. It doesn't feel as magnetic. It's more like the song "Something" by The Beatles having a yellow, pulsing spiral on that one guitar bit, for instance. Pic is a picture of my calendar ribbon, but without the days.

This is on top of having a very high level of intellectual ability and the ability to learn at a very rapid pace. I might actually be a genius, as conceited as that likely comes across.

Moreover, I've been experiencing things like Alice In Wonderland syndrome and visual distortions akin to those produced by psychedelics without the use of drugs since I was very young, and I can control those to some degree.

>>687960354
Wow. I've always wanted to fuck on hallucinogens. That's on my bucket list, actually. How was it?

>>687960857
This I can believe. Some people seem to have feet of steel, particularly on the soles.

>>687961225
Entirely believable.

>>687961758
That's...99% unbelievable.

>>687962015
As a result of?

>>687962516
They allow that? How heavily monitored is it?

>>687964217
What the hell era did this take place in? And where?

>>687964795
Define "vary healthy." As compared to what?

I'm the reincarnation of 'Jesus Christ', and I don't go around looking like some kind of hippie fucking faggot.

Imagine Earth with 6 billion normies less, in about 3 years and a fiddy :')

>>687964876

>equality

the development of your brains were on extremly different levels

it's like a 12 year old punches you and you think that gives you the right to punch him back with full force.

it's not equality, doesn't matter what you tell yourself.

>>687964923
you kinda sound fucked up man. not schizo fucked up but somethings off

File: sgfbvfdzvdfvda.png (939 KB, 1019x760) Image search: [Google]

939 KB, 1019x760

>>687964329
Feel free to explain the circumstances and any insights you have as to why this affair began in the first place.
And, so you don't have contact with your daughter anymore?

>>687963478
That sure is one luxurious prison

Was in a relationship with my 9th grade teacher.

>15 at the time.

>>687965181

I am asking YOU for equality in your thought process. Not asking you how you perceive my circumstances back then.

Im asking you, to put aside your biases, and apply your "moral" judgement equally to all parties.

learn to read you stupid dumb fuck faggot.

File: sortalikethis.png (34 KB, 500x500) Image search: [Google]

34 KB, 500x500

>>687964923
And this is something like what I see when people speak. You know that colored light you see swimming around in patterns and blotches when you close your eyes? The text is basically made of that, and the display focuses very much on individual words or parts of words.


Sometimes, since the display largely guesses and displays things as I hear them phonetically, I can get some pretty hilarious nonsense.

>>687965209
I'm probably autistic, to be perfectly honest. Never diagnosed, but I did go to therapy for "Sensory Processing Disorder," which is often comorbid, and a number of other things about me seem to point in that direction.

>>687965393
>>687963478
Yeah, no kidding. You have to pay to be in a cell that nice?

>>687965440

watch out for this guy: >>687964310

he might want to string you up too.

>cause chronological age and shit.

>>687964923
Comparied to normalfag have not been sick or had to go to a Medical Specialists for a long time

I had sex with a girl who later turned out to be the FLOTUS.

>>687965547
Maybe the heroin is actually keeping you alive. Watch, one day you'll quit and just disintegrate completely in your bed.

File: 419U6N7JQyL._SX300_.jpg (11 KB, 300x219) Image search: [Google]

11 KB, 300x219

In grade 10 I got into a fight with about 5 grade 8 kids over them taking my groups bin at school. I won and our group kept the bin.

>>687964923
>What the hell era did this take place in? And where?

the 90's.

back then gays used to get their heads bashed in, and teen girls dating older guys was "understandable".

its very very weird how morality and social norms can change in such a short spand. 10 years ago most people opposed gay marriage. now even non-gays want to fuck the same sex for no reason than to get off.

fucking humans are fucking weird man.

>>687965633
I hope not I'm tring to quit now I can't live like this anymore I can't stand my family looking at me like a junkie

I lost my virginity to a really hot Asian chick when I was 20 and fucked her for at least 3,5 hours.

>>687961103
>>687964090
Elaborate please

>>687965629
How much later?

File: RCA_R1490.jpg (66 KB, 400x313) Image search: [Google]

66 KB, 400x313

>>687964923
>Toaster guy here

My brother tried to make grilled cheese with it and fucked up. Cheese melted through the wiring, so my brother threw away the bread and unplugged the toaster.

It exploded when I tried to use it.

>>687960354

I once did bondage to a dog.

I know you are thinking to it, but no, it was a female dog, you perv.

>>687960354
I've never been able to cum during sex. I fuck for hours at a time and women love me for it.

>>687965446

it's not a question of how i perceive your circumstances, it's a question of simple science

the brain needs about 25 years to be grown out, so to speak.

i was just stating that your brain were on complettly different levels so it wasn't a equal decision, mostly because a 12 years old brain is far from mature.

you either accept facts or you don't, i can't influence that. just don't say it was about equality, because that's bullshit (and if you know a bit of neuroscience it's a lie)

>>687963204
Who's that girl? She is hot!!

>>687961103

/thread

>>687965975
Doubt it. Long sex gets painful

>>687963297
That's not bed hair, thats styled hair, look at that sexy hair wave flip.

>>687965697
Crazy how the times change, huh? Is it weird to you that people make the argument that legalizing gay marriage will lead to pedo acceptance? Because it seems like the increasing acceptance of homosexuality has gone hand-in-hand with increasing demonization of attraction to younger girls. Not sure they came from the same place, but it is odd in that light.

>>687965890
Holy fuck. Like, fireball explosion, or like pressure-cooker-bomb explosion?

Also, that sounds like an alarmingly shitty toaster. You could have sued, probably. Cheese shouldn't turn an appliance into a bomb.

>>687965798
It was a joke, and I believe you can do it. Obviously the heroin is not actually good for you.

>>687960354

I lost my virginity with my male cousin (I'm now a straight male). same year I fucked 3 hookers with my grandma money before i finally succeeded in kissing a girl.
I was 13 at that time.

File: image.jpg (224 KB, 1600x1200) Image search: [Google]

224 KB, 1600x1200

>>687965474
Of course I don't have to pay for being in prison. I work a decent job until I start studying in October. I only get like 1000€ a month to spent. The other half of my salary is being kept by the administration until I'm released witch will be about 8k in July.
It's comfy. Besides a Laptop, Iphone and Bang Olufsen Speaker I own pretty nice clothes and stuff.

>>687966012

then why isnt the age of consent 25 or 28 when it should be. and I can get behind that.

my fucking problem with people like you is that you back an idea based on axiomatic principles and then turn around and change the axiom when its inconvenient for you.

its fucking bullshit that minors get charged with crimes as adults and then people like you turn around and say they dont know any better in the same fucking breath.

you fucking moral fags are the fucking worst when it comes to logic, because you suspend it as soon as your moral "values" get offended.

fuck off and die. and stick your morals up your ass faggot.

I fingered a 13 year old girl in the back seat behind her mothers back while she was driving

>>687966309
>Straight.
Sure your not Bisexual anon?

>>687966193
Thank you for believing in me anon not many people do

File: image.jpg (130 KB, 1066x1600) Image search: [Google]

130 KB, 1066x1600

>>687966143
Thanks. It usually looks like in this pic though

File: ytrhgsrh.gif (1 MB, 320x240) Image search: [Google]

1 MB, 320x240

>>687965660

>>687966320
Your cell seriously beats out my college dorm in terms of luxury and amenities. Where I live looks more like a cell than that. You're a lucky ducky, anon.

>>687960354
I'm 18 and my gf 14

I didn't know how to masturbate until I was 16. I had wet dreams before but never thought that you had to rub your dick constantly until it cums.

>>687962868
>http://www.stuttgarter-zeitung.de/inhalt.halbbrueder-wegen-raub-verurteilt-polizist-ueberfaellt-tankstelle.6856a21a-52e8-4d22-b255-949b2d28bda0.html
>v&

>>687960354

I keep dreaming a beautiful sadistic shemale pumping the fuck out of my tied helpless body and still believe I'm straight.

>>687965975

until you find a woman who loves you so much that she want to have kids with you.

if you don't want to have a family you are fine though

>>687966102

it depends. i have some trust issues, i really have to trust a girl to be able to cum (or she is a 10/10, but i never had that, but i guess i would come buckets. but had some really pretty girls already). so i can basically fuck for hours, it does not hurt at all. it gets exhausting, but that's it.

it only becomes painful when i came before, but then still fuck for a longer time (although i need a break after coming, i'm not 20 anymore)

>>687961225
Greentext

>>687960354
I'm able to "breathe" out of my asshole. I can't actually bring it to my lungs but I can suck air in and push it out. It's especially helpful when I'm stressed and just want to relax.

>>687965815
I wrote a story on it once. Basically because your perception of time gets thrown out the window, it felt like I was cumming for about 5 Minutes (in reality it was probably no longer than usual).

The tiles have this cloudy texture to them and they swirled. Felt like I could see every sparkle in the water. The steam was comforting and warm. It was just the best feeling thing I've ever done

>>687966403

I'm 34 now and I've never had,not desired, any other experience with males since that time.
I still cannot explain that episode.

File: toastmaster_1b8_bank.jpg (94 KB, 400x426) Image search: [Google]

94 KB, 400x426

>>687966193
>Toaster guy here

We're talking a mini pressure cooker explosion to the face. It wasn't working when I pressed the lever down, so I went in to have a look. Damn thing almost killed me.

>It was a pretty old metal toaster

>>687962516
Mit nem 1,6er Realschulabschluss hättest du mehr aus dir machen können
>Polizisten sind untermenschen
>Hoffe du wurdest / wirst im Knast vergewaltigt
>Dein Halbbruder wird immer ein Junkie und versager bleiben
>Good Job

File: image.jpg (2 MB, 3264x2448) Image search: [Google]

2 MB, 3264x2448

>>687966488
That's actually an old pic. It's far more comfy now

>>687966193
>it seems like the increasing acceptance of homosexuality has gone hand-in-hand with increasing demonization of attraction to younger girls.

I too have made the same observation. I find it funny because I remember hgoing to the movies with a girl from school and watching "Clueless" and no one batted an eye that Paul Rudd played Alicia Silverstone's love interest.

Even as far as the late 90s you had Britney Spears and her highly sexualized school girl "Baby One More Time" video and no one gave a shit. It was very mainstream.

Now you cant even ask a young person for directions without drawing some fucked up looks as if you're gonna fucking rape them right there on the spot.

Having noticed these things now makes me think that you can literally indoctrinate ANYONE to believe ANYTHING is right or wrong if enough social pressure is applied to the masses.

I despise most human being for this very one reason alone. Almost everyone just blindly follows without so much as a question. Its fucking sick, really.

>>687966404
The brain is plastic. I'm not guaranteeing success, but you totally can do it.

I would suggest that you not consider yourself a junkie trying to quit. Don't tie the heroin to your identity. When people quit smoking, they should not consider themselves smokers trying to quit, but non-smokers trying to be realized. I imagine the same applies to other substances.

Best of luck, and may love and life be abundant for you, anon.

>>687966758
That's fucking insane and honestly frightening. Hilarious, too, but damn.

I had sex with a 6 year old girl.

Plot twist: I was also 6 years old. The babysitter brought her over one night and had us do it. Never saw her again, but I'll never forget that wonderful pussy.

I fucked a squirrel on mushrooms when I was 13.

File: 1464543045194.jpg (347 KB, 1335x2000) Image search: [Google]

347 KB, 1335x2000

>>687966442
look at that faggot
>cringe breed naow

>>687966872
>you can literally indoctrinate ANYONE to believe ANYTHING is right or wrong if enough social pressure is applied to the masses
I wouldn't say "anyone" in reference to individuals, but as far as society goes, you're pretty much entirely right about that.

>>687966931
>The babysitter brought her over one night and had us do it.
Male or female sitter? How old?

Somehow that's what makes the story hot to me. The pervy babysitter.

>>687961370
Yes, how new are you?

>>687966752

Louis CK has a joke about kids fucking refrigerators.

I think it explains well why you fucked your male cousin but now you are straight.

Its no big deal really.

File: image.jpg (1 MB, 3264x2448) Image search: [Google]

1 MB, 3264x2448

>>687966764
Danke. Hab inzwischen die FHR draußen nachgeholt. War Jahrgangsbester und fang Oktober an BWL dual zu studieren. Bullen waren immer kacke aber es war nie langweilig. Es gibt im Leben nichts schlimmeres als Langeweile.

>>687966869
Your prison cell is nicer than my home

>>687966869
Wow. It's almost like they actually want to make you have a long, hard think away from society instead of having your life and psyche completely ruined by this experience.

>>687961529
>my friend used to get made to lick his aunt by his father's sister
What? His father's sister is his aunt.

>>687966872
I believe you that you're some kind of genius. The way you talk definitely has something to it. I can't sense a bit of aggression or arrogance, unlike most people on here and in real life.

>>687960354
I beat the shit out of justin bieber in 2006

>>687966442
I'd tap that.

>>687965798
>be me
>going to school to become teacher
>fail student teaching somehow like a retard
>drop out and become depressed
>enter prescription pills and heroin stage right
>junkball for 3 years
>can't take it anymore and hop on the methadone train (whoo whoo!)
>go back to school
>redo student teaching
>am teacher now

It's possible to quit and pull it back together, /b/ro

Don't lose hope

>>687961017
I'm not a genius but I'm extremely smart, I learned how to read at age 3 without anyone teaching me

>>687966886
Meh. Could've been worse. Or more embarrassing, like the time I busted my jaw on a toilet seat

File: oses.jpg (89 KB, 382x500) Image search: [Google]

89 KB, 382x500

>>687960354
i've grown up on /b/, my parents never taught me any strong morals so i've been kind of fucked up since. i can navigate social situations on this fucking board better than i can in real life. i've accidentally shouted "nigger" from pain while right next to my best friend. i've tried to give it up but i started browsing /b/ when i was around 10 years old, right when my more complex social skills were developing and because of this fucking beige piece of shit website i have no friends. i was virtually raised by neckbeards and NEETs and i can slowly feel myself turning into one, all i do is sit around my house, smoke weed and watch old anime and fuck around on my old c64, i haven't showered in a week, shaved in two, and i've gained 15 pounds in the last two months. i'm scared of what i'm becoming

>>687960621
I was a halibut with amazing eye sight untill some guy picked me out of the water and then hit me against some blind retarded kid.

>>687966394
He actually has a point with that.

>>687966394

you seem not to comprehend my post, thus the insults i guess.

first: i don't have a moral obligation or whatever. as i stated before this are pure facts.

i was neither saying your actions were good nor bad. i don't judge your doing.

but you stated it is about equality, and scientifically spoken that is just bullshit.

>its fucking bullshit that minors get charged with crimes as adults and then people like you turn around and say they dont know any better in the same fucking breath.


why do you think i agree with that policy? that's an assumption from your side, and it's wrong. i would never say that minors should be charged like grown-ups. just to be clear.

next time try to understand what the poster is trying to say instead of insulting them. then you will learn and grow as a person. also some extra neuroscience for you: if you get angry, the ability of rational thinking/decision making drastrically decreases. so try to be cool, motherfucker.

>>687967252
Geniusanon here. That guy isn't me, and I don't deserve credit for his observations. I have been conversing with him, though, and I'll agree that he's got a very prescient sense of societal trends and what we consider moral.

>>687967200
Yeah. I totally got my shit together! They helped me to get a higher education in a college outside of the prison which I graduate best of the year >>687967138

I also going to study in October and psychological counselling helped me a lot. + I read about 100 books in prison

>>687967090
The sitter was a she. She was about 14 or 15 years old. But she never really had us do anything sexual. What it was is every once in a great while she had a friend come over with her. This girl was about the same age. This girl would start pulling off our pants the second we were inside. During the day she'd have me kiss the neighbor girls or try to get us to lay on top of each other.

This one day she brought over that friend and the friend brought the 6 year old girl. I don't remember her name and she never said a single word the whole day. Probably just really shy.

That night though... Got to stick it in between her butt cheeks first then later had her lay on the couch with her butt hanging off and sitter 1 watched while sitter two lined up my peen with heaven and pushed me forward to slide me all the way in. Best thing ever.

File: 1464873481404.jpg (465 KB, 500x667) Image search: [Google]

465 KB, 500x667

I drank two bottles of vodka and was slightly tipsy.

>>687961758
Please tell me more email me at [email protected]

>>687967485
Well it's hard to tell who is who on here lol. But the same applies to you anyways.

File: image.jpg (1 MB, 2448x3264) Image search: [Google]

1 MB, 2448x3264

Have a look at dinner in prison. Made by me. Lamb.

File: image.jpg (2 MB, 3264x2448) Image search: [Google]

2 MB, 3264x2448

>>687967845
And breakfast

>>687967845
Fuck, that looks delicious.

>>687967413
>first: i don't have a moral obligation or whatever

and I am under no obligation to stay cool (see what I did there motherfucker?).

Now, for no particular reason: Fuck you.

>>687966394
Funnily enough in Australia, age of consent is 16

>>687965097
...so you don't exist either?

>>687967912
>>687967845
Unbelievable.

wie der deutsche knastbruder die poorfags aus den den drittwelt ländern zum ragen bringt

>>687967845
Where has prison been all my life?

>>687967516
It must've been a thing they did with that girl more than once because she didn't seem to be hurt when they got me in there.

Either that or she has had a few fingers in there before.

>>687967015
How is this cringe?

>>687960354

I'm the only one I know who can see people around me as they are. You know, watching through their masks to tell why they are acting like they are. I can tell most of the time why a person is sad or angry, when others can't, but also I won't say a word, because I know, if I would, people would see this person very different.
I know this doesn't sound like something very special, but as I don't know anyone with similar abilities, I consider it to be special.

>>687967845
Where the greens at fag

Looks good though

>>687965629
So how was Michelle Obama?

>>687968013

no you don't. but then please stop whining like a little bitch and man the fuck up.

if you buildt you perception of reality on assumptions and not on facts and the be ready that someone is calling bullshit.

>huurrrrrr

I started fucking my geography teacher in 9th grade. I was 14, she was 27. Unlike all those dumb little fucks you hear about in the news, I kept my goddamn mouth shut so she didn't get in trouble and I got to keep fucking her.

File: image41.png (272 KB, 500x384) Image search: [Google]

272 KB, 500x384

>>687967015
OMGz a man with style so much cringe!!!
Ur a fucking idiot

at 7 i watched two classmates try to have flaccid, pre-pubescent sex

>>687968015

This is something the VAST majority of average people here willfully ignore. How different that shit is around the globe.

Literally everyone assumes its the same everywhere because thats how it is where they live.

Also, here you have to be 26 to rent a car.

How does that work in Aussie Land?

>>687968293
Anal ever?

>>687963297

ein beach boy wie nur deutsche polizisten es sein können. aber immerhin einer der wenigen beamten, die es in den knast schaffen, auch wenn sie noch so viel mist bauen.

I got my first blowjob when I was 6 years old

>>687961758
Total bollocks

>>687961260
:^))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

I had my wrist cut down to tendon sheath, just shy of the tendon, actually cut tendon sheath, but not tendon. I almost bled out, walked a mile to grandfathers store after wrapping towel around wrist, I remember seeing blood dripping from towel, people were all around, not a single one asked if I was ok, and the towel was fucking soaked. Almost died. had NDE. Lived. Still have full use of hand other than feeling on thumb. That was the day I learned not to punch windows.

>>687968369
It doesn't count as losing your virginity if it was your uncle.

>>687968282

Didnt I already tell you to fuck off?

Im not interested in having a conversation with someone who puts morals into facts for the sake of personal convenience.

I agree with you on the 20's shit. Now, go and change the law so no one can fuck anyone below 30....

>just to be safe.

>>687968359
She wasn't a big fan, but let me a few times. She loved to have her ass eaten, though. I didn't even know that was a thing until she told me about it.

>>687968227
I can too, it seems a lot of people are just oblivious.

i fucked my sister when i was 7. she was 9.

my cousin gave me a blowjob, i was 14 and he was 9.

>>687968469

hehe xD!

File: 1385329509534.gif (464 KB, 267x199) Image search: [Google]

464 KB, 267x199

>>687967297

>>687965798
I doubt youll make it you fucking junkie bastard. None of my friends ever did.

>>687968472

>states he wants no convesation
>replies

careful anon, your stupidity is showing

>>687968515
Welp, lucky you. I had a few teachers that were hot AF but never got to bang them. Frowny face

>>687968045
Ist schon lustig. In den meisten Ländern zerstört einen das Gefängnis nur. Hier wird einem tatsächlich geholfen aber unter uns: das ist nur im offenen Vollzug so. Der geschlossene ist genauso erbärmlich, wie man es sich vorstellt.
Und die minderbemittelten Insassen, welche keine Qualifikationen vorweisen können, müssen für 100€ im Monat Feldarbeit verrichten.

>>687967347
>>687966394
agreed. Make a choice and stick with it. Also cut the bullshit with sentances ranging. They need to be static, so if two people commit the same crimes, they don't get vastly different sentences.

Prime example, that Stanford rapist. So rich that the judge said "Jail would have a negative impact on him" - WTF.

>>687968103
The whole situation kinda messed me up though. Now I've got a pedo thing going on and I don't believe I would have if it hadn't happened.

>>687968026
>>687968092
You guys should watch "Where Do We Invade Next?" or whatever it's called by Michael Moore. He visits a prison in Norway. Similar kind of deal. Prison is a village next to a lake. Cosy as shit.

Pic related: Anders got 21 years, because that's the maximum you can get for any crime in Norway, even mass murder. Also why he recently won his complaint case about his treatment, 'cause prison is fucking awesome in Norway and many European countries.

>>687960354
>Be doctorfag (pediatrician if you care)
>Be married to only girlfriend I ever had
>Have four kids who aren't fuckups (yet)
>Have posted on 4Chan on and off for about a decade

My life isn't very exciting, sadly.

>>687968692

again. fuck off.


>thats not an invite. its just a literal statement: fuck off.

>>687968795
Gives me hope, actually. I want to go into pediatrics and start a family, and I've been posting here for ages. Glad the two aren't mutually exclusive.

>>687968868

>still replying

why so mad? you will forget about this thread in 40 min or so.

>>687968533
I often thought about the possibility that most of the people can't watch through other's veils because they are not emphatic enough. Or maybe they just don't admit they have a mask, because their world would be crushed to pieces if they would start analysing and reflecting on themselves.

File: 1355739283325.jpg (237 KB, 1100x1380) Image search: [Google]

237 KB, 1100x1380

>>687968888
Keep getting quads, everything will work out just fine.

File: image.jpg (1 MB, 2448x3264) Image search: [Google]

1 MB, 2448x3264

>>687968245
>>687968092
>>687968026
>>687967997
Are you fans of steaks?

Dry aged prime beef, blue rare with Cumberland sauce

>>687969014
>you will forget about this thread in 40 min or so.

hahaha. you actually got me with that.

>fine. i'll fuck off.

>>687969062
Sorry, not Cumberland sauce. Never mind

>>687968301
He's dressed like a magician, and everything else about him is cringe too. If you can't see it then you're a betafag or an autist.

>>687969062
Honestly, I'm more jealous of that pretzel than anything else. Shit looks like it's nice and warm and doughy on the inside without being too flimsy on the outside.

>>687960354
I am a priest

>>687965922
Oh, okay. I was going to call you out for being a freak but since it was a bitch it's totally okay

>>687969365
How many choir boys have you violated?

I fucked my cousin when i was under 10 with 3 people watching

>>687964329
More details man. What happened?

>>687967845
Time to rob a gas station, me at the moment homeless and poor

File: MTIwNjA4NjM0MTEyMzQ1NjEy.jpg (101 KB, 1200x1200) Image search: [Google]

101 KB, 1200x1200

>>687968092
>>687968026
You guys should watch Michael Moores latest movie "Where To Invade Next?" or whatever it's called. He goes to a "prison" in Norway that's just a little village by a lake. Similar kind of deal, it's comfy as.

Pic related: 21 years is also the maximum sentence in Norway for any crime, even killing dozens of children.

>>687968888
Nice get. I met my wife when we were 11 and had our first kid five years ago. Married seven years ago. Started coming here when I was 18 or 19. I think you'll be fine if you actually acknowledge that it will be difficult and strive to overcome that. So many people go in with a lax attitude towards classes and they get crushed. Don't let that disheartened you.

>>687969531

I appreciate Norway's intentions, but that is just fucking mad.

21 fucking years from now, he might do it again, and then what?>

File: Quads.jpg (12 KB, 225x225) Image search: [Google]

12 KB, 225x225

>>687968888
>>687968888
>>687968888
>>687968888
>>687968888

File: 1462683647530.jpg (43 KB, 700x628) Image search: [Google]

43 KB, 700x628

>>687969365
Absolve us, father.

File: KIMG0200.jpg (1 MB, 1440x2560) Image search: [Google]

1 MB, 1440x2560

>>687963478
Where is your right nipple

>>687961260
top kek

>>687961370
Fucking normie.

>>687969026
That could very well be true.

It almost seems like people are blind to it. Like they are actually insane, not seeing the world for what it is. I've seen the looks they give each other, right in front of people they are disrespecting, it's like they don't fucking think. It also explains why people don't get so upset, they are blind, they don't realize what is actually happening, and how they are always being judged.

>>687969611
That's heartwarming as fuck.

In any case, I want to ask a question about match day. Is there any way I could get a "prestigious" residency, or really just a rather specialized one, without going to a top-tier med school? I know that just having good numbers on a piece of paper will help, but...eh, I'll stop talking and just let you answer.

>>687961260
lel

>>687960354
lost my virginity at age 12 with girl of the same age

File: transcended.jpg (68 KB, 708x588) Image search: [Google]

68 KB, 708x588

>>687960354
I was waiting in the middle of the night for a girl I was about to fuck, outside her house. A drunk dude walked by. We started making out and I sucked his dick instead of fucking the girl.

>mfw doing homo

>>687961225
Me too. Seems strange when I think back...

>>687969421
I'm not the guy you replied to, but I was a choir boy and never got fiddled. Kinda funny though because the church was in the nudist community I lived in, so the priest probably lived in paradise if he was a pedo.

>>687969637
You still have to be deemed not a danger to the public to actually get released, I mean they're not gonna let maniacs out. But yeah, his sentence is 21 years. Also why he recently won his complaint about his treatment, because they generally treat prisoners quite well in Norway and many have great lifestyles.

File: image.jpg (169 KB, 750x1334) Image search: [Google]

169 KB, 750x1334

>>687969736
Right here bro. Had a lot of time for working out

File: 1465124306275.jpg (1 MB, 780x8489) Image search: [Google]

1 MB, 780x8489

>>687967338
pic is this anon in 5 years

File: SmugRoy.png (495 KB, 525x412) Image search: [Google]

495 KB, 525x412

>>687963765
yo, thats just a test, telling that you are actually able to study, at a university.
Just a regular test, in order to simply get accepted at Uni.

File: image.jpg (128 KB, 750x1334) Image search: [Google]

128 KB, 750x1334

>>687970152
I was pretty fat when I went there but they have a gym in prison.

>>687970145
I read somehwre that he complained about not having an up-to-date enough game system. Playstation, right?


It'd be hilarious if they replied telling him that new games are shit and that he should be glad with PS2-era games.

>>687970152
Warst du so ein hurensohn von Bulle, der jeden Kiffer mit nem Gramm auf der tasche direkt verfolgt, oder warst du ein cooler bulle?

>>687970275
Yes it is. A test that 60% of attendants fail to achieve 700 points in and barely anyone manages to get 900 points.

I know the secrets of the universe

>>687967485
How do you geniusfag see the world? Like who is really in charge? Are the banks really the centre of power? Do you see any big connections between institutions, persons and events, that everybody else seems to miss?

>>687970504
Why does my cum taste so fucking sweet? Like, sickeningly so? I swear it smells like a fucking candy shop in my room after I jack off.

>>687970504
Then tell us faggot.

I have been obsessed with doing sexual things with other boys since I was 6. I have no idea why I am like that it was like a desperation to do sexual things. I sometimes think I must have been molested when really young and cant remember it.

>>687970742
Can't do, sorry, never told anyone and never will.

>>687970688

your piss will do the same if you have diabetes.

not even kidding. google that shit.

>>687970374
Kompliziert. Keiner Interessiert sich für 10 Gramm Gras, nur woher es kommt. Wenn du willst, dass du Leute reden, solltest du aber ein Druckmittel haben.
Übrigens gibt es keine einzige Konzeption zur Verfolgung von Gras. Das fällt alles als Nebenprodukt bei der Jagd nach härterem Stoff an.

>>687970774

nobody molested you you ugly faggot.

you're just a pederast. embrace it and live with it, or kill yourself.

dont put the blame on other people.

>>687965524
Damaged goods look for attention where they shouldn't, that's pretty obvious.

I know because I do the same.

I can predict the past

>>687970922
Interessant, ich dachte immer Gras wäre auch stark im Interesse der Polizei. Was war das nervigste an deinem Job?

File: 1457688803534.jpg (178 KB, 750x864) Image search: [Google]

178 KB, 750x864

>>687970343
>that feel when you're playing first-person-shooters with Breivik and he's crazy fucking good at it.

I have never dated or had sex with a man under 30 years old. I'm 18

>>687970922
Es tat mir schon leid, wenn wir in zivil unterwegs waren und da sitzt einer mit nem joint in der Hand. Mir wäre es egal. Meinem Kollegen vielleicht auch aber der gegenseitige soziale Druck zwingt uns zum Handeln. Wir könnten uns erstens gegenseitig kaum sagen, dass es uns egal ist und andererseits könnte er es irgendwann gegen mich verwenden.

>>687969969
Not without any funny business, to be honest. I'm fairly sure it's a double blind application process for everyone, so you have to be pretty extraordinary if you want to get accepted into your first choice. You'll probably have advisors to help you with that. The best way to get into better programs is by making yourself as desirable as possible. There are more illicit means that could work, but I can't morally suggest that.

File: pisspreikfrosk.jpg (59 KB, 437x468) Image search: [Google]

59 KB, 437x468

>>687964923
>2016
>Believing in Synesthesia

Say hi to the martians and the flying pigs from me.

>>687970921
This, sorry wilferd Brimley you've got the 'betus

>>687971314
I never have either.

File: 1440886387973.jpg (7 KB, 261x192) Image search: [Google]

7 KB, 261x192

>>687960354
When I was 11-12 I kicked a radiator of a wall and dropped it in a kids face, kid turned in to a vegetable

>>687970688
Diabeetus

>>687971127
Verkehrsunfälle sind 80% der Arbeit im Streifendienst und machen null Spaß. Verkehrsunfallflucht wird fast nie aufgeklärt und verursacht Mengen an Schreibkram. Deswegen bin ich zu einer BFE gewechselt.

>>687970674
Honestly? I can't presume to know what happens at the highest levels, and I pretty much operate on the assumption that I'm probably brainwashed already.

I do think that there's more planning and conspiracy than most people really think, but that, at the same time, the big, evil shadow government everybody talks about actually flails around trying to keep control of shit more often than the tinfoilers think.

Central banking does have a huge influence. Not sure who's "really" in charge. Wars are fought almost purely for the material interests of those in power, but you could also make the case that our conflicts in the middle east are all that keep the world economy afloat.

I think brainwashing is real, and that television news hits you with so many messages apart from its explicit narrative, at such a rapid pace, that dissecting and exposing it would take hours for a single 5-minute piece. I also think that the narratives sold to us in the news are deliberately paired with narratives in fiction so that the two begin to blend together, and that adults are influenced by things they know to be fictional more than they think. I think that dramatizations of historical events are really just there to get us to remember things a certain way. I think that there's no reason why a government wouldn't stage false flags and make people disappear.


Not sure what else I could say aside from the fact that I think the numbers we're given in terms of who voted for who are 100% fabricated. I don't think they really even count those in many cases, if they even count them very often.

>>687971433
legal vegetable?

>>687971317
Ja das hab ich mir schon mal gedacht. Geht wahrscheinlich nur wenn man seinen Kollegen sehr gut kennt. Ich kann es nicht leiden wenn die Leute immer alle Polizisten als Arschlöcher bezeichnen, schließlich haben die mit den Gesetzen nichts zu tun.

>>687970688
you have type 2

>>687971354
Wait, do people actually not believe in synesthesia? You're trolling, right? I honestly can't tell.

It'd be one thing to say, "It's unlikely that so many varieties of synesthesia would overlap in a single individual," but flat-out not believing in it is...dude, really?

Nervig warein immer die Besserwisser. Alle kennen angeblich ihre Rechte (da haben sie mal im Fernsehen was gesehen) aber keiner kennt seine Pflichten.

>>687971530
they made see him once to understand what I'd done, after that I never saw him again

I had a few severe diseases when i was a baby, but now I haven't been at least a little bit sick since 2010, even though I rarely wash my hands and don't really give that much of a fuck about higiene (I do shower every day tho, I'm not autistic). I started smoking weed when I was 14, started doing drugs when i was 15. I was put on antipsychotics when i was 15 because I kept hearing dreadful things in my head and I couldn't see myself when I looked in the mirror. I lost my virginity when I was 15 to some junkie chick. We were both high on meth and we had unprotected sex the whole night. I got tested for STDs and I don't have anything.

>>687971015
No not a pederast, its always been with people my own age. I just don't know why I knew about doing stuff at that young age

File: 772.jpg (56 KB, 597x519) Image search: [Google]

56 KB, 597x519

>>687971642
>>687970921
>>687971404

>>687967492
Hut ab! Hoffe du packst das alles!

File: chillin.jpg (56 KB, 720x405) Image search: [Google]

56 KB, 720x405

>>687971772
It doesn't exist. It's a myth.

>>687971575
Ich hatte später dann mal nen Kumpel mit dem sowas ging. Aber da ging es mehr um fragwürdige Methoden der Informationsgewinnung. Wie zum Beispiel Handys auswerten oder Obdachlose mit einer Flasche Wein ein paar Tipps zu entlocken.

>>687960354
I was once involved in an orgy containing 6 people when I was 19
>1 straight girl (now ex)
>1 bi girl
>1 lesbian
>2 bi guys (me)
>1 gay guy

>>687972011
Danke bro.

>>687971433
>>687971833

wonder if ill hit a dub with this one as well

What fucking prison is this? fuck

File: 02.jpg (16 KB, 348x480) Image search: [Google]

16 KB, 348x480

>>687972210

>>687971954
You don't need to worry about it until your limbs go black.