I stole a Pencil
I regret it since

>>687865322
sexted a 15 year old

I once typed google into google

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I used to pirate movies and games...

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I replied to OP's post without saging it

Consensual sexual intercourse in the missionary position for the sole purpose of procreation.

>>687865627
You think thats bad, i never seed

>>687865322
My Mother Kicked me out for fucking the dog.
I hate living in china

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>>687865568
YOU FUCKING MONSTER

I shot a man in Reno.
Just to watch him die

>>687865322
Raped a drunk girl
>No ragrats

>>687865799
>mom cathes him eating the dog

I once stole a pencil

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>>687865967
I Was about to rape someone until i found out he was the dominate

>>687865322
Forgot to say OP was a fag in a thread on 4chan.
This isn't that thread.
Kys fag OP.

Had sex multiple times with a 16 year old boy while I was age 32 female.

Tow truck driver popped open my locked car to let a cop search it got me popped for weed just cause he could. Went back to his lot some months later and shot out the Windows to around 20 cars before I saw lights come on and booked it. Probably a few grand in damage.

I shot a sheriff once. But I did not shoot his deputy. That sheriff brown always fucking hated me.

I give people decaf coffee when they come to the drive thru in the morning.

>>687865322
shoplifted endlessly when i was younger.. it's not like i couldn't even afford it.. just wanted to watch the world burn

>>687865563
And how old are you? Did your fear of getting busted prevent you from actually doing anything?

>>687866199
Why him?

>>687866199
Story, come on.

>>687866199
Where the heck were you when I was 16 lol

>>687866199
Hot. Lucky kid

-Ran with scissors in 3rd grade.
-Stole a crayon. Same grade.
-Returned Bambi video 3 days late. Never paid late fee.
-Did 911 by mistake.
-Stole a free coke from MacD.

>>687866199
post your tits whore

>>687865322
Had sex with a 15 year old girl.
But here's the kicker.
I was 16 at the time

>>687866681
you accidentally did 9/11??

>>687865322

Shot JFK.

I let a cop fuck me to get out of a ticket

>>687866681
>Ran with scissors
Fucking savage

>>687865322
i once raped a 15 year old guy when i was 6

Shoplift some shit that in total doesn't even add up to $20.

>>687866199
Story?

>>687865646
what the fuck. nigger i will hunt you down and kill you.

>>687865322
i threw boiling water over my best friend in some sort of drunken prank because he fell asleep in my bed and i regret it every day life was never the same.. dude got 3rd degree burns

>>687866865
Are you a girl or boy? Who inetiated the bribe? You or the cop?

>>687866681
some faggot in elementary shcool ran at me with two sharp pencils in his hand and stabbed me in the stomache kiddies neva run with pencils in ur hands or else you'll stab tards like me who can't get out the way

I stole my wallet From my room.
i almost got caught.
mommy would've punish my peepee again

>>687866199
Dubs don't lie. Mind writing green text?

>>687866865
story plx

I looked at some things

>>687865789
you monster

>>687867184
Male. I did. Lucky for me he swung that way.

I shoplift all the time just for the thrill
im planning on moving on to bigger things but not sure what yet
>the thrill can kill
>no I kill for the thrill

I once went 46 in a 45. Been regretting it ever since.

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I stole a balloon on free balloon day

>>687867647
HOW YOU FUCKING DARE

>>687867647
get some oc faggot
>you got that shit from spongebob

>>687866199
tell

>>687867647
Because you're han solo?

>>687867846
Joke went completely over your head. Wow.

>>687866796
I'm in 10 grade (summer rn) (summer fag) and...
> can't get a girlfriend in my grade
>hopes maybe being older to a girl (14,15) might make it easier for me to smash
>summerfag

>>687868004
nothing goes over my head, my reflexes are to fast. I would catch it
>see ifyou get the reference

>>687867225
Can you tell us some stories of what happened? This is always very interesting.

>>687866199
tits or gtfo

>>687866394
Topkek

>>687867234
> He was a cute neighbor kid, washboard has, hot
> Had my own place, just broke up with long term relationship.
>Lonely and horny
> He would sell me weed, one time he brought over shrooms and we drank mixed drinks and tripped together.
>Woke up together the next morning same bed, one thing led to another and we went for it
> He had a big dick for 16 yr old and I used it well
> Happily gave him lots of firsts
>I had to move away because of job, never saw him again.
>Still think about him from time to time. Wonder if he's into older women now.

>>687868080
>Is underage
>Is on 4chan
>Says he's underage on 4chan
fucking newfag. Bet you can't even triforce

>>687868080
Get the fuck off 4chan you little faggot

>>687868274
amazing
I sell weed

>Hardware store I work at is super old school
>no cameras or security
>been pressing return and then taking money out of the register
>no ones notices
>I've taken over $4000
kekekekekek

I never seed torrents

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>>687866423
21
yes i prayed

>>687866364
>Probably a few grand in damage.
yeah, to his insurance company, dumbass

also, if you weren't such an ignorant nigger you'd know that searches are only valid if the owner consents, unless the cop has probable cause. Meaning that either the case should have been thrown out of court, or if the cop had probable cause then you were going to get busted whatever the tow truck guy did

>>687865322
Just a giant fuckton of underage drinking

>>687868197
Yes I got the Guardians of the galaxy reference

>>687868080
>>687868410
When you're underage on 4chan you don't say you're underage

>>687865322
Nice try fbi

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>>687865322
- Transported and sold illegal firearms after a partner smuggled them over the border. Here's it's 4-20 years penalty.
- Beat a guy almost to death, and his friends did the same to me.
- Pirated exaclly 1177 movies (my bitorrent list is still there).
- Vandalized privat company buildings as an act of vigilancy.
- Climbed a telephone antenner that was 470m tall, got caught by cameras but they let me go.
- Posted on M* sterch* n.

stole a lollipop when I was 4.

I still remember it today.
I..I'm considering turning myself in.

>>687868732
oh
wanna play the reference game?

>>687866199
16 is legal in a lot of countries. Unless you force sex unto them

so?

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On many occasions I would go into a gas station near my girlfriend's house and steal condoms. I'd walk down the isle and quickly grab them as I headed to the drinks. Then, I'd pick out a soda so it wasn't super fucking suspicious.

>>687868810
op said not FBI though

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>>687868994
That's just what they want you to think

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I didnt pay for winrar

I still use winrar

>>687868969
So it's not exactly something I can brag about to anyone. I would still be judged.

Don't regret one second though.

>>be me
>>7yo
>>trespass in an unoccupied apartment in the complex I live in
>>treated it like a clubhouse, fuckin' awesome
>> don't know shit about shit
>>play with stove, turn on, turn off, turn on
>>stops going on, fuggetabout it
>>what is pilot light
>>go home after a while
>>apartment fills up with gas over night
>>some spark somewhere
>>apartment blows the fuck up in the middle of the night
>>wow what happened
>>hear's news story later
>>oh shit I happened
>>never tell a soul

>>687869184
Nope. Op said no FBI so they legally can't look into this thread. Post away.

>>687868419
Who said im under 18? you fucking cuck.

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>>687866002

>>687865322

I pushed Eric Clapton's kid out the window of a highrise. They thought it was an accident, but I did it on purpose.

>>687865322
I strangled the cat of my girlfriend and threw it over the fence ...

i put ketchup in the fridge

>>687865789
MODS please ban this asshole.
Too far man, too far.

>>687866681
>Did 9/11
Pussy, I did 7/11

>>687867225
what kind of war crime?

>>687868410

▲
▲ ▲
Suck me off you cuck.

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>>687865322

I once drove a motor vehicle faster than the posted limit

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>>687865322
When I was 6, I went into a 7/11 with a nice indian working.
I was looking for some candy, and got Tic-Tacs and a bar of chocolate.
>While looking for the bar of chocolate, I idly opened up the Tic-Tacs and ate them
>Guy never saw me
>It was only after I bought the chocolate bar and walked out did I realize what I did
>mfw

>>687868080
fucking idiot

>>687869669
Fuck...I can't triforce

I prostituted myself at the age of 16 to the age of 19.
I am now 25 and a well adjusted member of society.

>>687869764
Suck my dick.

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>>687869619

I sold dope for a few years, was also involved in two peoples deaths, but I dindu nuffin

I stole a beyblade

>>687869810
male or female?

>>687869900
Damn Anon, you crazy.
Also nice double dubs.

>>687869900
define 'involved'

>>687866199
fucking greentext it noaw!

>>687865322
I complemented my friend's moustache
Then she smacked me

I dropped a rock from an overpass and killed a bus driver.

http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/edmonton/house-arrest-for-2nd-teen-after-deadly-boulder-drop-1.599096

I didn't even feel bad. Was fucking proud. But my friend ratted us out because he's a little bitch so I had to pretend to be remorseful.

10/10 prank.

stole a lot of pills.... from my mom. and she needed them for pain.

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>>687865563
>>687865627
>>687865799
>>687866199
>>687866364
>>687866394
>>687866402
>>687866796
>>687866681
>>687866865
>>687867014
>>687867135
>>687867192
>>687867307
>>687867566
>>687868525
>>687868546
>>687868705
>>687868818
>>687868845
>>687868987
>>687869457
>>687869515
>>687869671
>>687869756
>>687869810
>>687869900
>>687869903
i just reported this, have fun in the pokey, faggot.

>>687866865
greentext needed

>>687870164
White hood mafucker. Been Rollin with crips since I was 17
>>687869907
Nice try fbi

>>687866199

nice

>>687870633
>>687870240
Meant that here

>>687870097
Anonymous

>>687868197
Fuck off back to 9gag

>>687865322
I broke the dam.

I leave propane tanks on the highway at night. Pretty fucking hilarious. I made a semi go off the road after the tank exploded one time and caused a major accident.

>>687868274
post a pic of your good self femanon, my cock needs it.

>>687868274
I sell weed

>>687870555
Already Been investigated and found not guilty, fuck off

>be me 22
>finde sister in law sleeping in pantys
> fucked her a little for cuirosety

luckily she didn't wake up I was slow And careful
>wife comes home 15 minutes after im done
>make her suck my dick
No regrets

>>687870633
>>687870807
what's the point of coming to a confession thread if you're not going to tell us what you did? It's not like I asked for your name and address.

>>687865322
I shot the sheriff.
Bud I did not shoot the deputy.

>>687865854
Underrated post

I smoked marijuana, man.

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>>687871090
>>687870960
>>687871069
>>687871096
i just reported this, have fun in the pokey, faggot.

>>687871301
i just reported this, have fun in the pokey, faggot.

Found a wallet on the train. Took the cash out and kept it. Handed wallet in saying it was empty when found.

>>687871222
See>>687869900

>>687865754
Disgusting

>>687871399
I just reported your dubs in a no dubs area. Have fun getting railed by bubba in the pokey, faggot.

I took a pill Ibiza

I stabbed by homie when he did a crip sign
to the hilt in his chest
I saw the light leave his eyes
it was beautiful

>>687865454
Monster!

>>687870333
>twat/10
do the prank again but use your own body instead of a rock next time.

>>687871096
wish I could fuck my sister in law too

>>687871856

oh whatever. He was an old fag. He probably deserved it

>>687872003
Get her a little drunk

>>687866931
>60

>>687865322
A borrowed a car without permission.

WATCHED A MAN DIE
IN RENO

>I don't use mechanical pencils
come at me cunts

>>687871417
i just reported this, have fun in the pokey, faggot.
>>687871552
i just reported this, have fun in the pokey, faggot.
>>687871699
i just reported this, have fun in the pokey, faggot.

I read about a fella who steals wheel nuts off parked cars, started doing the same.. The way I see it is they might not crash.. it's really just a 50/50 so I'm only 50 percent guilty.. besides who wants to live in a world with that many unlucky people.

>>687868694
Actually it was at the scene of an accident which permits right to search. Cute how you thought you were smart though.

And I know he probably had insurance but I'm still sure it was a nightmare to deal with, as is a criminal record.

>>687872671
>No FBI
Fucking faggot when OP types that in it makes this thread completely protected from LE

>>687868560
You're going to prison bitch

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got a blowjob from a 15 year old trap.
He told me he was 18, i swear occifer

>>687870599
>i got fucked by a cop
>he didn't take his uniform off just unzipped
>his cock was a nice size
>i came on his patrol car
>quiet country road
>got pulled over
>i outright told him i love men in uniform expecting him to just laugh
>he saw his opportunity and took it

>>687868197
Cringing. Jesus Christ.

>>687869903
You fucking repulsive sack of shit fuck you goddamn useless loser

>>687873522
I wonder how often this actually happens.

>>687873682

happens often in Texas

>steers and queers

>>687871096
>married at 22
Now that's the real evil

>>687865322
i never fill up the ice trays

I posted on /b/.

Scammed endless of faggots for their TF2 Hats and now CSGO Skins.

I flew a plane into a building over a decade ago, luckily I survived the impact and was able to watch it fall afterwards before I made my trip home. My friends in the other plane that hit the other tower weren't lucky tho xD they all blew up :o

>>687869515
Hope you die a lousy, painful death. Or at least suffer some painful accident that leaves you dickless.

This one time haha I got a certain type of people sent to these 'showers' but really they were gas chambers xD

>drug dealer
>B&e
>Robbed people/companies

>>687873682
I would imagine it happens a lot.

>>687870333
you're a sick fuck and i hope you die in a fiery car wreck

i killed a woman

I told people on the GTs that my ditto had perfect IVs and got legends in return, then used the legends to get shinies.
Anyone need 6 shiny Psyducks?

>>687874664

that's not a crime

This one time I haha set a homeless man on fire and then ate him xD

>>687874914
>haha
Fucking 5 yr old leave now before the pedos track you down

Lol guys this one time I shot up an entire class xD THEY SHOULDNT HAVE MADE FUN OF MEH >.> >:( ;)

>>687865854
How's Folsom Prison?

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I'll fuck an escort or go to massage parlors that provide happy endings about once a month and have been doing so for the past two years now. The legality doesn't worry as much as the possibility of contracting an STD. But I'm honestly addicted at this point

>>687866848
Came in this thread to post this.

Haha this one other time I was walking home from my job at Burger King and I randomly got MURDEROUS URGES AND STABBED AN OLD WOMAN 57 TIMES AND WORE HER FACE AS A MASK :o >.>

i stole food from an airport and three gas stations while homeless in California

I bombed an abortion clinic xD that'll teach the sinners!! Haha

>>687865322

I have been convicted of all of my crimes, other than that, jaywalking, possession of marijuana.

I dropped a croissant on the floor at a grocery store and then put it back in the bin

>>687866391
Damn you buffalo soldier

Fucked my teacher

Clogged a public toilet by accident

Fucked my best friends sister.
>both 15 at the time
>she was horny as fuck at the time
>flashes me in the pool
>perfect.png
>tits were perky but soft at the same time
>we go to my house for 'lunch'
>she takes off top. diamondhard.jpg
>she succ me
>feelsgoodman
>she has trouble though
(7.5 inches at the time, now 8)
> she's confident that she can take it although she was a virgin (like me at the time)
>struggle to put in, soooooo fucking tight, Jesus fuck
>suddenly snaps in, she screams
>I felt that cherry pop, wait, explode
>She's crying but screaming for more
>finnabuss.gif
>every time I thrust in, I can see a bump of where my dick is in her
>pull out
>I didn't bust a nut, that nut blew up in her face
>covered in cum and shaking like Michael J. Fox, she goes to take a shower
>I go in with her
>she succ me again
I actually made her 15 yo tits lactate from the fucc
>haven't had better sex since.

>>687867135
Does he look like Freddy Krueger now?

>>687868560
Name starts with D?

>>687876190
wow such an elaborate lie and its not a crime gtfo

Stagatory rape

>>687869536
That's where it goes. Next to the dead baby heads and behind the mustard.

>>687876781

I'm 17 now, betafag. You think that it's a lie because you can't get any, yourself

I pirated a game because Steam wouldn't let me mod their version. So what if I want tits in my game? Fuck you, Gaben. I do what I want you politically correct fatass.

>>687876190
>Things that didnt happen, the post

>>687865854
Didn't your momma ever tell you not to play with guns?

I pirated an album but then felt so bad that I bought it on iTunes after. I didn't even like it

>>687877032
naw dude I wake up and smell a nice tight pussy everyday but you on the other hand heh story seems way to fake

I derailed a train by putting a waifu pillow on the tracks

>>687870555
>underage drinking
>have fun in the pokey
Buddy I live in hick town, around here if you're caught drinking unless you were being really fucking stupid or the cop is in a shitty mood, he'll just make you pour it out and go home.

One time my friend got caught drinking underage, in a state park, after the park was closed, with lit fires where there weren't supposed to be fires. They had trashed the fucking place. The cops let them go as long as they cleaned up the park in 20 min., which they did.

>>687870333
You're proud of senseless murder? Even terrorists have better motives then you and I want them death as well. You're lucky you don't come from here, otherwise you'd be dead.

Nice trips btw.

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>>687868274
how old are you now?

>>687869316
nice story, reminds me of some retirement home place i used to go with friends

>place was abandoned
>we would just fuck shit up
>but it was kind of dark and one day we heard some really weird noises, like really fucking creepy
>thought it was ghosts or some shit, we never went back after

>>687870333
Holy fuck, lots of whiteknights on here.

Well done, and checked.

>>687865322
I killed my grandmother when she was only 3 years old

>>687865322
There was an older homeless guy used to live in the hills in Coogee. We were messing about in the dunes and saw him leave his camp to go fishing. While he was gone we piled all his belongings onto his tent and lit it on fire, burnt everything. I wonder if that hobo lived or died.

This thread has been high jacked by 12 yr olds I'm out

>>687870361
That's shitty. And not even shitty in a ballsy or interesting way like >>687870333 . Just the most boring, normie tier kind of shitty. You're trailer trash.

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>Fished without a license.

>>687866199

>>687865322
None. I am not criminal scum like the rest of you faggots.

>>687879124
Fuck you, man. I'm no damn whiteknight but I like homeless people, I make friends with them. Don't fuck with homeless people, usually they are constantly miserable and don't even know what the fuck's going on.

>>687869857
faggot

>>687865322
I stole your sister's virginity.

>>687870333
trips wasted on some edgy ass motherfucker

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I was OP in one thread and I'm not a fag

>>687879438
He was going to die from being a hobo so we just helped him along. Fuck you getting $10 blowjobs from bums.

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>>687872669
>Pencils at all, mechanical or normal
Not even once

>>687879375
faggot

>>687866199
>32 y/o Woman
>On /b/

Pick one

>Checked

>>687865454
I stole marbles from the market, used to rip the little bags and fill my pockets. then go home. did it a couple of times, until I had enough.

>>687869859
>>687869619
10/10 Loved it. I would day dream about airsoft sniping the letters out of restaurant signs. Likes Shoney's - Hoes. etc.

Anyway, I squeezed a girls tit in front of her boyfriend one day at school. Didn't know they were together etc. Guy commits suicide I think, now we have a skatepark named after him as well.
>small world